Date: Fri, 20 Aug 1999 18:48:21 +0900
From: Andrej Koymasky <andrejkoymasky@geocities.com>
Subject: Destiny 07

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IF SOMETHING CALLED DESTINY EXISTS...

Andrej Koymasky Copyright 1998
Written on June 5 th 1994
Translated by the Author
English text kindly revised
by Nick

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USUAL DISCLAIMER

"IF SOMETHING CALLED DESTINY EXISTS..." is a gay story, with some parts
containing graphic scenes of sex between males. So, if in your land,
religion, family, opinion and so on this is not good for you, it will be
better not to read this story. But if you really want, or because YOU
don't care, or because you think you really want to read it, please be
my welcomed guest.

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DO - Finally united

Lightly tinkling,
with me they celebrate
the wind bells?

When Yukichi was back from the station at first we chatted a while. I
think that both of us were burning with the desire to finally lie down
together, but neither one of us seemed to have the courage to do the
first step. Possibly it was exactly the fact of having waited so long
for that moment, and now that nothing more interfered with our
reciprocal desire, made us hesitant.

Until I decided to do something and said him: "Yukichi, I don't like
seeing you around in our home with these western clothes on you. Pull
them off and wear a yukata, go on!"

"Why don't you pull them off, professor? I always dreamed it was you who
undressed me." he answered almost shyly.

"Draw nearer, then. No, stay up." I said standing up and started to
unbutton his jacket.

Even before I finished undressing him, we started to kiss, caress each
other and finally make love. When all our clothes were a tangled on the
floor, I gently drew him into the near room where Naosuke had already
spread our new mattress and lit the lamps. And our first, long, so sweet
night of love started and I could at last be intoxicated with him. He
gave himself to me with transport, eager to please me, to become at last
mine. I took him with all my gentleness, as I knew I was the first man
he ever had. It was so good, so right, so beautiful -- as if all my life
was ordered to that moment. But the greatest gift, was reading a deep
happiness in his eyes while, in the dead of the night, he abandoned
himself, sated, between my arms.

On the following morning he woke up first, and woke me up, starting
again to make love with me. We stayed in bed for hours and hours, never
sated, to be at last able to give full expression to three years of love
and desire, waiting for this day.

We had a few free days before I had to go back teaching and he started
his university courses, therefore on the following day I asked: "What do
you think about going to visit the Hayashis?"

"Hayashi? I know nobody with that name."

"Yes, sure you know them, the brothers Hayashi, especially the elder.
But he will be surprised to meet you. Will you come?"

"I don't understand about whom you are talking, professor. But if you
like, I' will gladly coming with you."

I smiled. We left for Kamakura. He had never been to this ancient town,
therefore he could not recognise the way. Moreover, I didn't tell him
that Oshima and Irota now had that family name -- Hayashi Ichiro and
Hayashi Jiro, the two brothers who were in reality lovers. Also Oshima,
who had been a class mate with Yukichi, did not know that he was the
lover about whom I gave him a hint. It would be a surprise for all of
them.

Reached Kamakura, I went to see my friend asking him the address where
the two boys lived and we showed up at their home. They were living in a
small apartment on the first floor of a house not far from the
publishing house where they worked.

When "Ichiro" came to open the door and recognised me, he at once
brightened up and immediately invited me inside. Then he noticed Yukichi
and looked at me with interrogative air.

So, I introduced them: "Here, this is my lover about whom I told you,
and this is, now, Hayashi Ichiro. And Jiro is..."

"Irota Masato!" Yukichi exclaimed brightening up.

The boys were really happy to meet again.

At a certain point, Yukichi asked them: "Don't you regret having had to
stop your studies?"

"I'm just sorry for Ichiro. But I am happy being with him, therefore I
have no regrets at all."

"No, I'm sorry for Jiro. But our job puts us in contact with books, you
know? I translate western books and Jiro does the proof-reading,
therefore, in a way, we are continuing to learn. We like very much our
job. We have been lucky and we owe this luck to professor Fujita. And we
think that our employer does not regret having hired us."

"On the contrary, he told me he is really happy with both of you. He
said you are precious to him, and that you fit very well in your job."

"Yes. Also the neighbours, believing we are two brothers, two boys
without a family, are spoiling us. And, in this little apartment, we can
share our love sheltered from everybody and everything."

We spent all the afternoon with them. When we bid good bye, they invited
us to come again to visit them: "We cannot come to visit you, it is
better we don't go back to Tokyo, Jiro's family lives there and we don't
want to run the risk to meet them. But any time you desire coming to
visit us, it will be a real joy for us."

We promised to come again, and went back to Tokyo. We spent a really
pleasurable afternoon with the two boys. Yukichi was happy, cheerful and
loquacious.

I was listening to him when, at certain point, I told him: "Yukichi, I
am no more your professor, now. Why don't you try to be less formal and
don't you call me just Shige? I would be very pleased?"

"If you will be very pleased... how can I say no?" Yukichi answered in a
low voice. In reality he didn't succeed soon -- it is not easy losing an
habit of three years. But to me it was important, and at last it became
natural to him to use with me the plain speech and to call me just
Shige.

School started again. I bought a second bicycle for Yukichi, so that he
could reach his university in less time. He learned quite soon to use
it, and he became an enthusiast of bicycle riding, so that we started to
go often together riding with our bicycles, to go to visit my friends
who soon became also his friends, to explore the new areas of the
capital in fast expansion or to do excursion out of the city when
weather was fine.

We discovered a small delicious ryokan in a small village not far from
Tokyo, called Atsugi. Surely the owner must have soon understood our
real relationship, as after the first time we went there, he always gave
us a room separated from the others, opening onto a secluded corner of
the beautiful garden, and he sent to serve us always the same young and
handsome man, never a woman. The servant one day, without saying a word,
made us find spread in our room, instead of the usual two single futons,
a wide double futon. Surely he had been aware we always used only one of
them. So, that small ryokan in Atsugi became for us almost like out
"holiday home". We also liked the discretion of the owner and of the
personnel, who made us feel completely at ease.

My family had stopped trying to arrange a marriage for me. But Yukichi's
parents from time to time tried to find a wife for their son, proposing
to my boy the "mimai", or previous meeting. But Yukichi, with one
pretext or another, being the best that he wanted first graduate and
find a good job, always succeeded in refusing his parents proposals.
They, once a month, sent two servants with a supply of good food, a sum
of money for their son, and a letter.

Yukichi wanted at all cost that I put all his money together with mine,
saying to me: "If I really belong to you, then also all I possess is
yours, isn't it?"

I accepted only when he accepted to use our money without asking me
every time for authorisation. He was anyway really frugal and at times I
had to care to buy him things he liked but that he didn't think
indispensable.

We normally studied together or else, while I was preparing my lessons
and corrected my students' works, he helped me. We often discussed
literature, art, politics, but at times, reading one in the eyes of the
other the same desire, we interrupted to start making love. Days with
him passed sweetly and pleasurably. Naosuke became really fond of my
Yukichi at least as much as he always had been of me. His presence was
solicitous but discrete. He had to have like a sixth sense, as he always
appeared in the right moment and didn't made him seen or heard in the
right moments.

Yukichi practically took in his hands the house management, a thing I
did not regret at all, both because this made my lover feel being really
in his own home, and relieved me from a thousand small worries. Naosuke
accepted quietly this tacit change of the house management, and obeyed
him without any problem.

Naosuke's relationship with Sadao was continuing and strengthening. The
two young men were evidently in love with each other, and when Sadao had
his first son, called him Naosuke. Yukichi was really happy with that.
He, in fact, had to heart my happiness (and his own) but also that of
the people around us. Therefore that gentle gesture, that made really
happy Naosuke, made happy also my Yukichi. The more I discovered his
character, the more I was in love with him. He was kind with everybody,
but of a spontaneous, natural, not formal kindness. He was determined in
his things (he gave me the best proof with the three years he endured
waiting to become my lover) but not stubborn. He was extremely sincere
and honest; he had a lively intelligence, and a remarkable sense of
humour. I liked him to die for. It is not that he did not have flaws --
he was orderly to the point to be pedantic and he wanted me too to be so
and this at times was a burden to me; at times he also tended to be
somewhat selfish -- if he gad some problems, let's say in his studies,
he expected me to stop anything I was doing to help him. But these or
other small flaws didn't ever become a problem to me, also because he
made him forgiven with the intensity of his love for me.

Also physically he was becoming more and more of a man, and I liked him
more and more. I liked admiring, when we went to bathe at the nearby
river, his wet body shining at the sun rays, and I alighted with desire
for him. He read this in my eyes then, if there was no other people, he
withdrew amongst the bushes, inviting me with his glance to follow him,
and they were very sweet moments for both of us. We often made love also
in our bathroom, because it was impossible to us to wash each other
without being inflamed with desire.

It was a little more than one year since Yukichi lived with me, when
came a letter from Otto, where he announced me that he would come to
Japan. I was really happy for that. We went to fetch him at Yokohama
Port. With him was also an extremely handsome and elegant young man (I
recognised Otto's hand) -- the clothes modelled his body giving a hint
of his perfect shapes. He had shining and lively eyes and a luminous
smile, a thick mane of dark, curly hair. His name was Frantz,

In the train, while the two boys were chatting between them, Otto
whispered to me: "Frantz is my lover, as you can have guessed."

"He is the gypsy musician, isn't he?"

"Yes, he in person."

"Then, it is some two years you are together."

"Almost three, now. Three splendid years."

"You will be our guests, as long your stay in Tokyo. The house is not
big, but we reserved you the Tea Room. There, being somewhat secluded,
you can have all the intimacy you can desire."

"Thank you, I like very much your Yukichi. He is very handsome and it
seems to be a really valuable boy. Are you happy with him?"

"Yes, certainly. More than that could not be possible."

"Yes, I see. I could feel that from your letters."

Arriving at our home, I showed them the Tea Room, that they both found
really agreeable.

Explaining to Otto the use of the room, I said: "If during your intimacy
moments you want to darken the room, you can just slide shut those
panels outside."

Otto smiled: "You still remember my manias, don't you? But Frantz
compelled me to revise my habits, if I wanted him. And now I sincerely
prefer the day light, or lamps, to look at my beloved one and at the
pleasure that appears on his face while we make love. He has a very
strong character, my Frantz, but also very passionate, he knows how to
take me from the right side and makes me do what he wants. But he is
also able to give me all I could desire. I feel really well with him."

"Does he know what there was between you and me?"

"Certainly, this is why he wanted to come to meet you."

"He is really a fascinating boy. How old is he?"

"Twenty seven."

"Really? He seems much younger, I thought twenty one or two."

"Yes, it is so."

"How did you meet?"

"The same way I met you, at one of those parties. Just, when he first
saw me, it was him who at once came near me and told me he wanted to
make love with me. I was really attracted to him, therefore I accepted
immediately. I was thinking it could be one more of my many pleasurable
adventures. And instead, I fell in love with him. It has not been the
classical lightning stroke, a love at first sight, no. He conquered me,
subjugated me, made me fall in love with him gradually. He tamed me. And
now I am aware I could never live without him."

"But... he is not an aristocrat -- doesn't that give you problems?" I
asked with curiosity, remembering how much this was a problem for his
relation with me.

He again smiled: "I told you that he compelled me to change many of my
points of view, didn't I? Many of my habits. You, do you see, were much
too docile with me, and you always let me have the last word. Not he. He
knows how to take me from the right side, my Frantz." he said with
evident satisfaction.

I don't know if my submissiveness was more a question of character or of
culture, but he was right. I thought that people with a strong
character, as Otto was, loves to find who is able to stand up to them
and appreciate such persons. Evidently Frantz was the right person for
him and I was really pleased for that because, even if of course I was
no more in love with him, I was anyway affectionate to that man that I
loved and with whom I spent a really pleasurable period of my life.

They remained with us a little more than a month, then they did a
journey to Kyoto and Nara for another month, and last they spent with us
one more week.

During that week, one day Frantz asked me: "Is not jealous Yukichi of
your servant? He knows he has been your boy for a long time, doesn't
he?"

"No, he is not at all jealous. He knows it is thing of the past. He
knows that now he only exists for me. By the way, you are not jealous of
me, are you? And yet I was Otto's lover, as you know."

"No, I am not jealous of you, but anyway I would never let you alone
with Otto for too long time. Also if unwillingly, the old flame could
light again and I don't want to run useless risks." he said with a
smile.

"No, I have Yukichi, I am really not interested in anybody else. You,
for instance, I think you are really beautiful and likeable, and you are
for sure very desirable, but I would never do anything with you -- my
Yukichi does not deserve that. I am faithful to him and also Otto is to
you, I am sure."

"Yes, certainly. But I prefer not to lose sight of him. Opportunity
makes the thief, as we say in Germany. Anyway, I am really glad I met
you. Yes, because now I feel like I know a little better my Otto. Also
Yukichi is a really likeable person. Why don't you came to Berlin? We
have a nice apartment downtown and there will always be a place for you
two. I would be pleased to pay back your exquisite hospitality and also
Otto would be glad. Moreover, for Yukichi it could be useful living and
studying for a while in Germany, as it had been for you. He speaks
fairly well German, but living in a place you can learn in a few months
what here would demand years."

"Who knows. Thank you for the invitation, anyway." I answered.

We saw them to Yokohama, to the steamship that took them back to
Germany. But after then, I continued to think about Frantz words -- yes,
certainly it would have been good if Yukichi went for a study trip to
Germany. But this would mean to separate for one, two or three years. I
could not leave my teaching for such a long period to go with him. This
thought frightened me. Not to see him for so long time seemed to me
unbearable, too hard, too difficult. And yet, I had to think above all
of Yukichi happiness and of his future. I should not be selfish, as much
it could cost me.

So, I decided I had to clearly talk with Yukichi, but in reality I
always postponed the moment of this speech, even if I was repeating to
myself I had to do it, because I feared the possibility of a separation.
I was terribly torn and so I continued to think I had to talk with him
and I continued not to do it.

Yukichi, with his sensitiveness, became aware that something was
troubling me, some worry was buzzing in my head, and tried to make me
tell him.

One night, after we made love, while we were relaxing embraced in
silence, Yukichi said: "Why don't you tell me what is worrying you since
the day of Otto and Franz departure?"

"Yes, I have to tell you." I answered and I told him about the
possibility of his study journey to Germany, telling him honestly all I
thought, felt, feared. He listened at me in silence, meanwhile he gently
caressed me.

At the end he told me: "Shige, my Love, you really are so dear! But I
don't want to be away from you, I could not resist just one week without
you, just guess one month, one year or more! No, do not even talk about
it. If one day we could go to Germany together, I'll go willingly. But
never alone. I'd rather renounce my university career, but not to you,
absolutely not. Therefore, don't have so many problems, Love. As long as
I have you, all the rest is absolutely not a need. Do you know why I
admire, esteem and love Oshima and Irota, or should I say the brothers
Hayashi? Because they have been able to renounce the things they loved,
just to be able to live together. This is being adult, real men. Not all
the rest. Don't worry, then, my love, please."

My incomparable, sweet Yukichi!

He continued to seriously devote to his studies at the University with
good results. And finally, in the year 25 of Meiji, he graduated with a
beautiful thesis on Goethe.

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CONTINUES IN CHAPTER 8

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In my home page I've put some of my stories. If someone wants to read
them, the URL is

http://www.geocities.com/~andrejkoymasky/

If you want to send me feed-back, please e-mail at

andrejkoymasky@geocities.com

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