Date: Wed, 03 Dec 2003 09:40:23 -0800
From: Steve Thomas <s4d@hotmail.com>
Subject: Give and Take

Note: This is part story but mostly true. It was related to me by a dear
friend in Bosnia. It is his story, as told by me. The names were changed
to protect the loved - Steve

Sometimes life gives you a gift. You know it's a gift and you know that
it isn't forever. But you can dream.

I was given a gift. A transitory gift. I knew he would go away. But while
he was here, he was mine!

I am Miroslav Choldavich. My friends call me Miro. I am a Serbian and I
live in Bosnia. As you know we were recently torn by war.

No boring history lesson. But Marshal Brozovich, otherwise known as Tito,
freed us from the tyranny of the Muslims years ago. He later became Prime
Minister, and then in 1953, President of Yugoslavia. Then when the USSR
was broken up, with all the upheaval in the area, the f--king Muslims
decided this would be a good time to create chaos again for us.
Yugoslavia was torn and Now, though I have never lived anywhere else, I
am in Bosnia.

I served in the war. I was eighteen. My people are an honorable people.
They don't send mere boys to the front, as other cultures do. I know
that there were very young American soldiers,- some as young as 17 --
fighting along side men. I also know that in Indochina children -- 8, 9
-- 16 years old were pressed into service to fight the old men's' war.
But my people value their youth, so I and others as young as I, though we
were allowed to serve, were kept behind the lines in support occupations.
I was a sentry at a secure base near my home in Brcko.

While serving in this position, I met and befriended many service men.
Some I have created a bond -- a long time friendship with. Others passed
in and out of my life. A few I was very close to. You see, I am gay, and
there were a few other gay men from all the other United nations
countries. I preferred Russians, because they were the most like me, I
suppose. And I had a few romps in the sack with different guys from
different places.

After the war, there was a United Nations peacekeeping headquarters in
Brcko. I was hired as an attache to a Lieutenant in the U.N. Police
force. I liked him and he treated me well. I was sorry to see him leave
when he was sent back to his home in Australia. I guess I had a secret
crush on him. Before Lieutenant Ardmore left us, he assembled all the
people under his command, and introduced Lieutenant Darby. I hailed
Lieutenant Darby with everyone else, but not before he caught me staring
at him with my mouth wide open. I snapped to attention quickly with my
eyes straight ahead. I could feel my face warming as blood filled my
cheeks and ears!

Lieutenant Darby addressed us and being a good leader and motivator, he
made eye contact with each of us. When he looked at me, it was all I
could do to not drop my eyes. They were blinking fast, behind my glasses.
He acted like he didn't notice.

"People, I am assigned to you for 1 year." He stated. "I am easy to get
along with as long as you do your jobs and don't cause trouble. In a
business environment I would insist you call me James, but it seems
that's not appropriate here, so you can refer to me as Lieutenant Darby,
or just Lieutenant will be fine." He then looked straight at me and there
was a hint of a smile -- almost as if he recognized me -- or recognized
something about me.

As I was his attache, it was my job to accompanied the Lieutenant most of
the time. This was a very pleasant duty when I was attached to Lieutenant
Ardmore. I got to eat and sleep in much better conditions than I -- or
most of my countrymen were used to. And Lieutenant Ardmore was pretty
easygoing. I liked him and he liked me. He had a wife and children back
home. I made the mistake of calling him by his first name once -- Percy
-- and he let me know that our relationship was strictly professional.
But he had a way to make me at ease, so it wasn't ever a problem. He was
always friendly, but never personable.

The reason that my mouth dropped as I first viewed Lieutenant Darby was
his striking looks. Not only his handsome face and exterior beauty, but
his eyes looked honest and pure. When we would travel together -- for the
first few months -- I was very uncomfortable, because I was so
self-conscious, worrying that he might pick up on my attraction to him!

Lieutenant Darby was tall -- about 183 cm. He must have weighed about 84
kg., but maybe more, because he was mostly muscle! He was a perfect
specimen. There were sometimes hours when we were driving that I could
study him. I loved driving, but I was not allowed to drive the U.N. cars
-- in town. But as soon as we got outside of town, he would pull over and
let me drive. I love to drive.

He didn't seem to mind if I slept sometimes during long days in the car.
I never really slept. I studied his every move. His hair was cut trim, as
all the U.S. G.I.'s. It was thin, but dark, with a few gray -- very few.
They would not be seen to someone not looking so close. His complexion
was perfect -- not a blemish or a scar on his face. He shaved every
morning, but he had the most delicious shadow -- even directly after he
shaved. I wondered about the hair on the rest of his body.

I can remember the first time he decided to get more comfortable. It was
a long drive back from Sarajevo. We had been attached for four months. It
was hot and muggy, even in the air-conditioned car. He removed his tie
and opened up his shirt. My heart stopped as I caught a glimpse of his
chest hair, straining to be free. I had to concentrate on watching the
road.

"Relax, Miroslav," he said, Get comfortable -- It's hot!"

I had on a pullover with no undershirt. Holding the steering wheel with
one hand, I lifted my shirt a little with the other to reveal a small bit
of my stomach and shrugged. I couldn't take my shirt off -- (could I?)

"That's okay, Miroslav." That was another thing! He always called me Mr.
Choldavich before this. I was all of a sudden shy. I was 24 years old at
the time. He must have been about 34. I shook my head.

"No -- I'm used to it," I told him. I was flush and sweat was pouring
down my face. I suppose HE thought it was the heat causing it.

"If it will make you feel more comfortable, I'll take mine off!" he said
as he ordered me to pull off to the side. He removed both his khaki shirt
and his undershirt. I was appalled! My stomach did flip-flops and another
part of me tried to do a little dance. I shook my head again.

"No thanks!" I said, not wanting him to see my skinny body -- especially
as he revealed the most beatuful sight I had ever been this close to.

"Mr. Choldavich, Must I command you to take off your shirt? I don't want
to have to carry you from the car when you pass out!" (I'd love him to
carry me!)

I shyly removed my shirt and he decided I needed a rest, so he drove. We
were back on the road in no time. I again pretended to be asleep as I
spied on him. His profile looked Greek! He had a high hairline, with a
thin covering of hair on his head. He would never know how sexy this was
to me! His nose was as straight as I had ever seen. If he wore glasses,
they would never stay up, because there were no bumps to hold them! His
nose -- like everything else was perfect. No large pores, as often starts
to happen as guys get older.

I couldn't see his eyes directly at the time, but his had long curly eye
lashes, and perfectly arched brows. I tried to look closely to see of he
trimmed them, but with my eyes pretending to be closed it didn't work.
His high cheekbones protruded just a bit, underneath which his cheeks
sunk in just a little. His cheeks always had a slightly flushed look,
giving him a very youthful appearance.

His lips! Oh, his lips! They were dark red, and full. The bottom lip
protruded slightly. I almost fell asleep, focused on his lips and I
started drooling! I licked my lips and studied his chin. It was a strong,
double chin. It was late afternoon, so the stubble was very apparent by
this time. My tongue and throat were working overtime to control all the
extra saliva that my mouth was producing.

He had a long neck. Of course it looked even longer with his shirt off.
My eyes were just straying down to his deliciously fur-covered chest when
he spoke.

"Ah, you're awake!" He said. I felt like a boy with his hand caught in
grandmother's cookie jar! I sat up straight and looked straight ahead.
"How long have you lived in Brcko, Miroslav?"

"Well - Lieutenant Darby -- actually I've never lived anywhere else."

"Really?" he marveled. "Gosh, the Army took me all over the world! But I
am from a little town in Oklahoma, and now my family lives in Texas. Oh,
by the way -- when we're not in the company of other U.N. Personnel,
please call me James."

"Yes sir, Lieutenant," I blushed deep red! "er -- James." I was sure I
wasn't saying it the same way he did. But then he didn't say my name
quite as we do either. I took a chance.

"Okay, but you must call me Miro". This was very hard for an American
from Oklahoma to pronounce. The "r" is kind of part "RRR" and part "t".
He tried it several times and then laughed.

"Meedo?" He said.

I smiled joyously and said, "That's close enough!" We both laughed.

When we came to the outskirts of town, he pulled over and after putting
our shirts back on, he drove into town. He didn't take me home, but
rather to his place. I froze. After he pulled up to his residence and he
got out. He looked around and saw someone watching us. He normally may
have grabbed his own bags, but he motioned with his head for me to grab
them. I did as I was commanded, and followed him into his residence.

It was cool and dry inside his place. I said, "Oh! This feels so good!"

"Good!" he said. "Have a seat, Meedo!"

"Oh, no sir! I couldn't! I - "

"What -- your mother is expecting you home?" He grinned. "Sit, Mr.
Choldavich!"

I was stunned. I sat. I almost mumbled, defensively, "I don't live with
my mother."

"Good! Then no one is expecting you?" I nodded. "So -- I am going to have
a drink. Can I offer you one too? I don't really like to drink alone."
He smiled almost devilishly.

"I -- I -- sure!" I stammered.

He poured us both a drink and then came and sat down -- much closer than
I thought he would. I felt the hair in the back of my neck rise as his
leg brushed mine. I didn't pull mine away, so he pressed his leg closer,
and kept it there. Before I knew what was happening, he had reached out
and was touching my arm. Our eyes met and he took my hand. I set the
drink down and kissed him. Of course he did not mind! It was not a wet
kiss -- no tongue.

"Did you know that I am very attracted to you?" He said after the kiss.

I closed my eyes. Could this really be happening to me? My heart was
beating faster than if I just finished a marathon.

"C'mon boy, you're worrying me!" he said. "I just admitted something to
you that could get me fired!" I looked up at him and shook my head. He
looked almost panicky for a moment, then he said, "What does that mean?"
I guess he forgot what he asked me.

"I didn't know, sir." I looked back down at the floor. He sat down on
the couch next to me.

"Meedo, I got the impression that you have been watching me. I mean when
our eyes meet, there is a special -- something -- that I can't put my
finger on, but -- I think -- I think you -- like me. Am I wrong?"

Still looking at the floor, I shook my head no again. I couldn't look
up. My eyes were filled with tears. He squatted in front of me and gently
touched my chin and raised my face to his. Even through my tears I could
see that his were wet as well. I could not speak, so he did again. "Meedo
-- I'm a married man. It's hard to be away from home so long. I have
tried to keep myself -- true -- to my wife. But -- but -- I've never
felt this way about another man -- another PERSON!" My eyes widened in
wonder. "That's right, Meedo. Never anyone -- even my wife."

I felt like I was going to pass out. I was shaking, feeling both hot and
cold at the same time, and it felt like any moment -- if I didn't wake
up -- I would hurl everything that was in my stomach. I closed my eyes. I
felt something warm -- something soft -- on my mouth. I opened my eyes
and his lips were pressing on my mouth again. His beautiful eyes were
hypnotizing me.

I kissed him back. This time, it was as if we both gave our tongues
permission to meet! He said, "Man, you know how to communicate without
saying anything, don't you?"

"Please, Lieuten -- James -- don't talk too loudly. I don't want to
wake up from this dream!"

"It's not a dream, Meedo! I kind of wish it were! I wasn't planning to
fall in love with anyone!"

What!!?? HE was falling in love with me!!?? "J -- James -- you can't --
your family!" I said, hoping beyond hope that he would contradict me.

"You're right, Meedo. My family. I have to return to them! It will now
be the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. I can't ask you --
to -- to -- stay with me now. I can see that you probably feel the same.
I can't hurt you like that. I mean -- when I am finished with this tour,
I have to go home and act like this never happened."

"James," I said slowly and carefully, "I had no idea what love felt like.
I have had other -- uh -- friends -- some were soldiers -- that I got
attached to. But you are right. I feel the same. I've never felt this
way for someone -- as I do about you.'

"Then it's settled -- I'll get the papers together tomorrow for your
transfer."

"No, wait!" I said, maybe more forcefully than I had ever said anything
in my life. "I'm 24 years old. I'm not a boy -- as you called me
earlier. I am responsible for my emotions. Please don't cut me loose,
assuming that I can't take it. I want this. I know you have to leave. I
know it will be hard for me -- and for you. James -- please -- let me
show you how I love you!" I looked all over his face for a sign that he
would let me - stay -- with him.

He climbed on top of me, pushing me down on the couch and kissed me
again. His groin was grinding gently into mine. I felt hot tears on my
cheeks and they weren't mine. I was so carried away in my passion that I
don't know when our clothes came off.

"Meedo -- can you -- I mean -- is anyone expecting you -- any time --
tonight?" I shook my head, never taking my eyes from his. "Stay with me
tonight, Meedo. I want to be an -- an -- animal tonight. You can leave
early in the morning, and then show up at work tomorrow as if this never
happened. Give me this one night."

"Does -- does it have to be only one night, J -- James?" I pleaded.

"Can we -- can we take it -- uh -- maybe -- a day at a time -- for now?"
He asked, sounding almost desperate.

I nodded. I was afraid to say anything. Afraid that if I did it might
break the spell, or wake me from the dream.

We kissed and caressed each other on the couch for hours.

He stood up, took my hand and led me to his bedroom. We lay on the bed
and he made love to me. He was very gentle. It didn't hurt very much
when he entered my body with his Texas sized tool. He was so sweet and
gentle. When he came to his climax, he made me know that at least in that
moment, he loved me more than anything in the world. I was in heaven.

He then insisted that I do the same to him. I'm a man. I know that when
a guy shoots his wad -- well -- he doesn't feel like doing anything
more. So I was impressed that James would be so considerate. I did as he
requested, and if he was not in to it, he made a good act. He seemed to
like it as much as I did.

As we lay on the bed, looking at the ceiling, "Meedo -- you know that
this is just between you and me -- right?"

"Yes -- sir." I said humbly.

"No -- don't call me `sir' here, Meedo. Call me James unless we're
working." He paused. "Meedo, I -- uh -- I -- really -- uh -- like you!"

"Yes s - - - I mean thank you -- James."

"Only thank you?" He said. I didn't respond, so he continued. ""Meedo, I
just told you that I really like you. Are you gonna just let that go?
Keep me hanging? Did you like what we did? Or was it just because I am
your boss that - "

"NO!" I exclaimed. I couldn't look into his eyes. "I loved it. You know
I like you -- every bit as much as you like me."

"I was surely hoping you did!" He said as he turned toward me and kissed
me some more. "We better get some shut-eye." He said. And he turned on
his back and held my hand.

I heard his breathing go from rapid to slow to even slower. He started to
snore a little. I turned to watch him sleep. The light coming in the
window softened his features. He looked like an angel sleeping next to
me. I don't know when I fell asleep. It seemed like five minutes later I
woke up. What woke me was a kiss on the cheek.

"Time to get up, sleepyhead." He said. Then he rubbed my shoulders and
back a little, working his way down to my butt. It felt so good when he
kneaded those muscles! "Get up! I have to take you by your place so you
can get some fresh clothing on you."

I groggily raised my body out of the bed. He stood there smiling
deliciously at me. His eyes were on the erection that spiked out from my
body.

I pulled on my wrinkled clothes from yesterday, then he drove me home. I
didn't notice until I was in my house that it was still only 6:30 in the
morning. I almost shyly waved goodbye and closed the door. I changed
clothes and ate some breakfast. When I got to work, our eyes met. Good
morning, Mr. Choldavich." He intoned.

"Morning, Lieutenant." I answered. I felt like every eye was on both of
us. In truth no one looked, or noticed anything was different. But it
was. Everything was different. I found out how much I liked married
Yankee guys! We met many times after that -- and each time was sweet --
but somehow the first time is the most magical.

Comments may be sent to Steve at s4d@hotmail.com


Bottom line: Love will Rule in the end.