Date: Sat, 16 Jan 2016 16:26:46 +0300
From: Cooper Max <lmd4208@gmail.com>
Subject: The Officers Part 7 (Military)

***Cooper is also the author of the `Diplomacy and Lust' series in the
adult friends section. Both series are based on real sets of people. He
writes these stories in his free time (hence the infrequency). He welcomes
all comments both positive and negative at lmd4208@gmail.com and reminds
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			    The Officers Part 7

	The morning came far too fast for Sam and Matt. The two spent the
night wrapped up in each other; talking, kissing and doing anything and
everything that felt good. By the time the sun peaked and poked through the
dark room's curtains, Sam's head was resting on Matt's chiseled, hairy
chest. The room was silent aside from the sound of the two exhausted men's
heavy breathing.

	Matt broke the silence, "I hate to say it but we should start
getting ready to head back."

	"Uggghhhh, can we just stay here? What's the rush?" Sam replied
sleepily.

	"Well there's that whole Uniform Code of Military Justice thing. I
mean we're already violating half a dozen of its rules but let's not add
absent with out leave (AWOL) to the list too." Matt said with a nervous
laugh.

	Begrudgingly, the two were all packed and ready to go within the
hour. The car's engine started with a roar.

	Sam looked back at the cabin and the woods surrounding it. The
weekend had been incredible; something he never imaged would or could
happen. He felt things he couldn't articulate. What had happened between
the two of them made his mind race and his heart pound.

	The vehicle raced down the dirt trail heading towards the main
road. A heavy silence fell over the car. Matt glanced over at Sam and
smiled. His mind was still trying to process everything that had happened
that weekend. He had felt things he didn't think were even possible; things
he thought he'd never want for himself; it was all so exciting and
simultaneously terrifying.

	"You know, we've talked a lot Š hours and hours - but you've
never explained why you joined the military." Matt stated trying to get
their minds off heading back to regular life.

	"I haven't? Really? You'd think that would have come up sooner for
us!" Sam replied.

	"Yep. Never mentioned it." Matt said with a grin.

	"Well, I doubt my story is unique. I was in 6th grade when 9/11
happened. I watched it from the tv in my morning math class. I had no idea
what it all meant but I obviously knew that it was going to be an event
that changed the country. I then grew up with the Afghanistan war and Iraq
wars constantly on the news; in the background; talked about in the
classroom, on the ball field and at the dinner table. Keep in mind I come
from a very small town that's very patriotic. It's a republican town; a fox
news town through and through, pro-military town. Many of the men have
served in previous wars." Sam started.

	"As I got older I realized that my small little town wasn't for
me. I needed to get out and see something else. I know it's clichˇ but I
wanted to make a difference in the world; preferably somewhere else. At
that point, I was still very na•ve buying into the idea that America was
the world's super power and it could do no wrong; the fox news narrative
that was constantly reinforced by friends and family.  I truly believed
that Al-Qaeda was an existential threat to the United States and its way of
life. I never questioned why America's way of life was under attack in the
first place," Sam continued.

	"My dad had been enlisted in the Air Force. He always spoke highly
of his experiences and the things the military taught him. He encouraged me
to look into ROTC. He really wanted me to get a college education (he used
the GI bill to get himself a college degree)."

	" I looked into Air Force ROTC but they were only giving
scholarships to very science oriented students. I wanted to study liberal
arts so there was no way I was getting a scholarship. That's when the Army
called me. A recruiter wanted me to enlist. I loved the idea. I was
fascinated by military intelligence and fancied that I'd go on and do some
cool CIA-styled stuff. "

	" I really wanted to sign the contract right then and there and
forget about college but my parents wouldn't hear it.  They begged me to
ask about ROTC and go to college so I asked the recruiter about ROTC. He
linked me with a ROTC recruiter that said the Army pays full ride for any
major. The recruiter encouraged me to enlist in the reserves, go to basic
training and then compete for a ROTC scholarship, which would transfer me
out of reserve status and into cadet status if that's what I wanted."

	"At this point I still wanted to make a difference, get out of my
home town and protect our country from `the evils of extremism' so I
figured the military was a good way to accomplish all of that and get a
good education too. I enlisted, did basic at Ft. Benning Georgia on Sand
Hill, competed for a scholarship and then went full time ROTC until getting
my commission and college degree as an officer." I joined to serve my
country and to better myself in the process as completely clichˇ as that
statement sounds." Sam finished.

	Matt had been listening attentively as he drove; nodding his head
every so often and glancing over at Sam while watching the road.

	"Wow, that's an interesting route you took." Matt said. "So are you
happy with the decision to join the military now looking back on it?"

	"The military has been good to me. I'm happy that I chose and was
selected for the medical service corps career track. I had thought long and
hard about going military intelligence and then I thought that combat arms
might be my thing. That's what all the `bad asses' were doing. I struggled
with wanting to be that `rough' and `tough' infantrymen. I even looked at
trying to pursue Special Forces or getting into a Ranger Battalion. I had
in my head that being a man meant being tough; shooting weapons, kicking in
doors. It didn't take me long to see that I wouldn't fit in well with that
lifestyle or mentality. It was hard figuring that out for myself because I
had to realize that I'm not less of a `guy' because I don't fit into that
lifestyle."

	"Luckily, the stars aligned for me on a different track and I
discovered the Medical Service Corps. After wanting military intelligence
and combat arms for so long and having such peer pressure to do a `bad ass'
career track, I figured out that I need to think long-term. I wanted a
career track with a lot of civilian transferability and a lot of
opportunities I love being able to help people from the medical perspective
even if it isn't direct medical care."

	 "I've learned a lot about myself but one of the primary things
I've learned is that a full 20-year military career isn't for me. I'm not
as na•ve as I was when I enlisted and then right after I commissioned as
an officer. If I'm going to make the kind of difference I still want to
make in the world, it won't be in the military. There's too much
bureaucracy, too much rigid hierarchy that values rank and titles over
actually competence and skill.  There's just a lot of day to day bull shit
like power point and online trainings that just waste time. I've even
started to question whether that the military is really the best investment
the country is making. Is the military creating more problems out of the
same problems it's trying to fix? Are all those drones and bombs really
destroying our enemies or just creating more enemies to fuel a perpetual
cycle of violence and unending conflicts all over the world? "

	"Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying there isn't a need or a place
for a strong military in the world with good soldiers serving in it but I
think our country may put too much emphasis on the military instead of
other important aspects like education and research. We can build a billion
dollar attack jet like the F-22 or F-35 but we can't buy new schoolbooks
for PS 125 in Harlem? It doesn't make sense to me.  I just need to pursue a
different path and I plan on doing so after my contract is up," Sam said
looking nervously at Matt.


	Matt sat silently for a minute; thinking.

	"That's quite a perspective; a perspective that probably wouldn't
be popular amongst many of our fellow men and women in uniform. Once upon a
time, I may have reacted angrily to what you said but as I've spent more
time around the military I can see where you're coming from; especially
with using the military as our main tool for dealing with other countries.
Are we really solving these problems in Iraq, Afghanistan, Libya, Yemen,
Somalia, Mali, Syria and other conflict areas with military force or are we
fueling them further? It's a really poignant question and a very difficult
line of thinking that often is labeled as un-patriotic in our country."
Matt stated warmly.

	Sam's spirits lightened. Sam had to keep a lot of his opinions to
himself around his military buddies; his line of thinking wasn't always
popular in the military and he'd received a few angry responses for
speaking his mind before. He was really glad that Matt was open-minded. It
seemed like he had questioned and contemplated a lot of the same things
that Sam did. A questioning mind was hot and it only made Matt sexier;
smart and incredibly handsome was an intoxicating cocktail.

	Sam and Matt drove on for a few more minutes in silence; the mood
noticeably lighter. Scenery whipped by them; beautiful tea fields stretched
for miles. The green tea leaves made the scene look like a rolling green
waves. The sun shone bright casting all kinds of crazy shadows on the roads
from the towering trees lining the road.

	Suddenly, Matt slowed the vehicle and pulled off to the side of the
road.

	"What are you doing? Is something wrong?" Sam said with a tone of
slight panic.

	Matt shut off the car and shifted his body to face Sam.

	"Nothing is wrong. I just need a minute to focus on you. You're so
damn handsome and intelligent; it's driving me bonkers. This weekend was
fucking incredible. I've never felt anything like it. I don't know how to
process what I'm feeling right now; it's confusing." Matt started in a
hurried, slightly embarrassed tone.

	"I guess I'm worried that this is all just a physical thing; that
we're just caught up in the lust, the newness, the danger of being together
with all of the taboo and stigma that would be thrown on us if we were ever
discovered. We're married, we're in the military and what we're doing would
get us thrown out under UCMJ for more reason than I can count." Matt
finished.

	"It sounds like you're worried that it's ONLY a physical thing."
Sam said cautiously. "Isn't that what you want it to be? The whole friend
with benefits thing?"

	"Fuck. I don't know. That's what I'm confused about. Friends with
benefits made a lot of sense before. I didn't know what I wanted; the whole
guy thing was completely new to me. Now, I don't think we're `just friends
who get each other off'. After that weekend, I don't think I just see you
as a `friend'. I guess what I'm trying to say - I can't believe I'm saying
this Š is that I don't WANT you to JUST be a friend." Matt said looking
more uncomfortable than Sam had ever seen him.

	"What are you saying? You want more than an FWB situation?" Sam
inquired nervously. He wasn't quite sure whether Matt was trying to end
their situation altogether again or take it somewhere else entirely.

	"I'm saying that I like you as more than a friend. I have no idea
what the hell that means for us in our situation but it's not just about
the sex for me like I thought it was. I don't just want to fuck. You're
smart and interesting. I enjoy getting to know you better. I think what I'm
trying to say is I'd be really upset if this whole thing ended and not just
because the sex would be ending. Does that make any sense? I don't know if
I'm making any sense to myself or to you. Shit." Matt said with almost a
nauseous look on his face. He was pale, sweating and a bit jittery.

	"Wow, I'm not really sure what to say. I'm pretty sure I understand
what you're saying; you have actual feelings for me. You're worried that
I'm just in this for the sex; that it's just a fun fling because of all the
external circumstances that make it `dangerous'. Throw in the incredible
sex and you're thinking that this is something that could burn out
quickly." Sam stated.

	Matt nodded his head nervously; watching Sam's facial expressions
for any clue on what direction he was taking this conversation.

	"I'm glad you told me all that because I'm feeling the same
way. These feelings are new to me. In my past, the guy action has always
been purely physical. Sure, friendships developed or were already in place
and I `cared' about the person but this feels very different." Sam said.

	"So what do we do now? Where do we go from here? Aren't we really
getting in dangerous territory by throwing in emotions and feelings into
the mix? I can't believe I even feel this way. Five years ago if you would
have asked me if I'd ever `like' another dude I'd tell you you're fucking
crazy." Matt said clearly a bit distraught.

	"Yeah this could get really complicated; especially considering
we're both married and in a very precarious work situation that could both
see us out of a job with a dishonorable discharge if we're not careful."
Sam replied looking more nervous himself.

	"What the hell are we going to do, man? I'm freaking out." Matt
stated.

	"I think you'll agree that ending it `cold-turkey' isn't going to
work. Not only do we like each other and have incredible sex but we work
together every day. Stopping altogether isn't going to make either of us
happy or make this situation any better." Sam started.

	"Yeah, I had already ruled that option out." Matt said. "But my
wife will be moving here in a few months. That's a whole added layer of
complexity. Can I love her and like you? Am I a complete shmuck for
continuing all of this? Man, this is a mess!" Matt said almost yelling in
distress.

	"Let's worry about our relationships later. That's more complexity
and danger than we have time for here on the side of this country road. The
fact is that you like me and I like you beyond just the physical
component. Let's just be careful as we ferret these feelings out and what
they mean. Nothing has to change at work or at home but let's keep talking
and keep being up front and we'll get it all sorted." Sam said calmly;
trying to reassure Matt.

	"You're right. We're not going to solve all of this on the side of
the road. This is an onion that has many layers to peel. I feel so
relieved. I had to tell you all of that and I wasn't sure how you'd
react. I mean just because I like you doesn't mean you like me and that
would have been awkward and shitty if you didn't feel the same way." Matt
said with some of the color returning to his face.

	"Let's get back to town and we'll figure it out from there. Promise
you're not going to freak out on me again and get cold feet? Don't go
withdrawing into your own head or avoiding me; that's not going to help us
solve this. I promise I won't do the same either." Sam said.

	"Deal!" Matt smiled.

	Sam leaned in and kissed him. The kiss was more electric than any
they'd had before. Matt massaged Sam's shoulder and Sam ran his hands up
and down Matt's back as they remained lip locked.

	Matt leaned out of the kiss, "It felt different this time." He said
smiling in a way Sam had never seen him smile before.

	"Yes it did. I can't explain it." Sam said smiling right back.

	"This is a good thing we have going here! Speaking of going, buckle
up and let me get us home."

	The car rumbled to life again. Sam reached over and grabbed Matt's
hand in between clutch shifts.

	`What the hell are we getting ourselves into!?' Sam thought to
himself; a pang of fear, guilt and anxiety shooting threw his body.


			-------TO BE CONTINUED ----