Date: Sat, 10 Apr 2004 23:41:26 EDT
From: Jerazk@aol.com
Subject: BOY OF MY DREAMS

This is a companion piece to HE SAID HE LOVED ME.


The boy of my dreams (oh yes boy implies over 18) contacted me. He didn't
know he would be the boy of my dreams. Nor did I. One day out of the blue
he contacted me. He wrote to me. He loved the writings I put up on the
net. He always contacted me, night after night, day after day. I didn't
believe him but he said I was worth it. He looked at me inside and loved
what he saw. Who me? "Yeah, you," he said. He wrote me poetry, which I
suck at. "I want to taste you all night, I want to be with you all
night." He told me that he wanted to watch the movie Peter Pan under the
covers on a couch. He wanted to watch scary movies with me and pinch my
butt cheeks, not that there's much to pinch, I'm pretty tight bodied. He
went to the extreme and told me he wanted to have sex with me. Then I
returned the favor. I declared I loved him too. I wanted to talk to him
every waking moment. I wanted to find out all there was about him. I
wanted to move to his state or have him move here. I wanted him. I wanted
him in my life. He said he was skinny, I told him he was gorgeous. He
said he knew he was not hot. I told him he was, for he was. He was
handsome and cute and good looking and tall. I pushed forward but he
backed off. In his life things were happening, things he didn't think
would. He found a girl, he found a boy. He found out more about me and
....he backed off. He no longer tells me that he loves me, he no longer
says I'm beautiful, he no longer even seems interested in me. There are
days I just hope he contacts me on line and when he doesn't I get down.
Still I know that if someone can see in me what he did, even for that
short a time, then maybe, just maybe, someone somewhere else can see the
same things in me that he did that drew him to say he loved me or even to
actually love me, maybe he did, mmaybe he didn't. I say he probably
didn't know what he was talking about, just thought he did. But he got me
to love him. Now that I do, I don't know what to do with that love. Maybe
try to find someone else to share it with. But it's so hard out there. I
don't know if I will ever find that same boy of my dreams who contacted
me. He broke my heart!