Date: Mon, 30 Jun 2003 04:38:33 -0700 (PDT)
From: J W <jwnifty@yahoo.com>
Subject: sleeping-alone

	Buried in a tangled mess of blankets, sheets and pillows, lay a
single silent form.  A leg was visible near the bottom of the bed.  Thick
brown hair covered a well defined calve muscle.  The hair continued down to
the foot, and there was even a hair or two on the toes.  Looking up the
bed, an arm tightly clutched a pillow.  It too was covered, albeit less
densely, in brown hairs.  It was a thin arm, but it had well defined
muscles.  This form was obviously a young man.

	A glance towards the head resting on the pillow would confirm this.
Atop the head was shortly buzzed dark brown hair.  The hair matched the
stubble growing on the chin.  The most stunning feature of this sleeping
man was his lips.  Thick and crimson in color, they begged to be kissed.
Above the lips was a nose that had obviously seen a few fights, but that
only added character to this alluring creature.  His eyes were still
closed, but if they were open you'd see they were as dark brown as his
hair.  A deep brown that dragged you in.

	The depth contained in the eyes only raised questions when you
looked into them.  The complexity of thought and emotion they could display
was almost too intense to watch.  It was hard to see in the low light, but
if you looked closely, you could also see the trail his tears fell that
night.

	The sleeping figure lay alone in cold room.  His sleep was
restless, as witnessed by the condition of the blankets around him.  He
tossed and turned all night, but to no avail.  What he seeked he couldn't
find by changing positions in bed.  The warmth of someone laying next to
him was what he craved.  Nothing could comfort him like the feeling of
flesh against his own.  But tonight, like most of the nights in his life,
he was the solitary figure in the bed.

	The man had no problem solving the problem that faced him tonight.
But the results were always temporary, and only served to make the time
after even more painful.  He didn't just want someone next to him, he
wanted that person to always be next to him.  For the rest of his life, he
needed to know his companion would always be there when he woke up.  No
different people, no painful hangovers and suprised glances at the body
next to him.

	To put it simply, this man wanted love.  Real love, not the kind of
love he had dealt in before.  All his expierences in sex had left him
unfulfilled and feeling dirty.  Sex isn't supposed to be quick, dirty, and
anonymous.  Sex isn't supposed to be with someone you met earlier that
night.  Sex without love, well, that was what created this hole in him in
the first place.  Having expierenced the sweet pleasures of the act only
served to increase his want for someone he could truly appreciate it with.

	Sure, he had been told 'I love you' before, and even said the words
himself.  But not once did they ring true.  Such powerful words to use so
carelessly.  He came to the conclussion that most people do not understand
love.  They will say the words if they know they will result in sex, or
better yet a repeat performance.  But the true meaning of the word seems to
be often forgotten.

	Love, at least to him, is perfect.  Love is everything one should
strive for, and achieving pure love would be to reach nirvana, to be
enlightened, to go to heaven and so much more.  Love is the conclussion to
all the spiritual journeys of life, they all lead to love.  The extent of
the effect love has is too broad to comprehend.  Love is trusting someone
completely.  It's knowing you can tell them all your dirty secrets, all the
mistakes you've made, and every thought that goes on in your head and
they'll love and accept you still.  It's not being afraid to be honest.
Love does not hesitate.  The trust that must be established for real love
to exsist means you are confident.  You speak the truth without fear.  Love
erases all fear.  To be truly loved, is to be shown that not a single thing
you have done or can do will change that.  You aren't afraid of being
laughed at, of being lied to or being rejected.  Without fear in your life,
there is only happiness.  Love is the most positive thing imaginable.

	It's too bad the world around us corrupts love so badly.  People
are afraid of real love.  People choose fear over love.  They choose
unhappyness over joy.  This world twists love so badly that people are
scared of it.  They would rather not get hurt then expierence life to the
fullest.  The man knows this about love and yet even he is afraid of it.
He has been hurt too many times to give his trust easily.  But someday he
will.  Things will change when the right man comes along.  There must be
someone else in the world who feels the same way about love.  Someone who
is sleeping alone, and wishing they weren't.

Thoughts or comments? jwnifty@yahoo.com