Date: Fri, 16 Jul 2010 17:04:34 EDT
From: HnstSkr4@aol.com
Subject: This is Seth - Chatper 2

Warning: This story doesn't contain any sex.  It's the story of gay teens.
None of the characters are based on real people nor are they meant to
resemble any living or dead people.

Let me know what you think of the story by emailing me at Hnstskr4@aol.com

I want to thank everyone who has emailed.  I also want to thank those who
have read the story.  It means a lot hearing from you.  Please continue
reading!  There is a lot more to come.  I own all rights to this story.
Chuck B.

I've got such a great response to the story and would love to hear from
everyone who reads it.

I'm using a different technique for writing this story, so if you don't
like it, let me know, or if you really like it let me know that, too.

Copyright 2010

Characters In The Story:

Seth - Seth is the main character.  He is 17 at the start of this story.
Dad AKA Charles Thompson
Mom AKA Dawn Thompson (Walker)
Paige = Paige Taylor 17
Scottie Westbrook age 18
Uncle Tim Walker
Brother Barnes -- Priest Quorum leader
Uncle Mike -- Uncle Tim's life partner
Miss. Dixon -- English composition /Literature teacher

February 3, 2009

Dear Journal,

I couldn't make myself go to the GSA meeting.  Maybe I should have gone.
At least then I would be around others who would understand what I am going
through.  Not going to be a long entry today, just kind of feeling down for
not going to the meeting.

February 4, 2009

I've been thinking about Scottie a lot today.  I want so bad to tell him
that I'm gay, as you already know, but my wanting to tell him has become
very intense today.  Why do I feel such a need to tell him?  I mean, I
don't feel a need to tell anyone else.  Is it because I feel this
attraction to him?  Wish I knew.

Oh... there was another note left in my locker.  It seems that I was missed
at the meeting.  Wish, I knew who left it.  Guess, I'll never know for
sure.

February 6th 2009,

My English Comp. teacher announced a national poetry contest today.  It,
the poem, can be done in any form we want.  It just needs to come from our
heart and be something that will reach out to people.  The winner will be
published in a book, and the top winner will receive $1,000 dollars in the
form of a savings bond.  I am all up for that.  What do I submit?
Hmm... do I submit something that I've already written or come up with
something new?  I have to submit my material no later than February 20,
2009.

February 8th, 2009

It's weird how sometimes in church my mind can stay focused on the lessons
and other times all I can think about is me and my problems.  I don't know
if that is guilt telling me to speak with my Bishop or if I am just a
normal teen.  My mind keeps thinking about Scottie.  I try to block it out,
but he jumps on the stage when I'm idle.  Guess that is why the church
doesn't want us to sit on our butts all day.

February 9, 2009

I heard Scottie talking about another kid at school today.  This kid is gay
and everyone knows it, because the kid is out and seems to like it.
Scottie didn't have anything good to say about him, but he also didn't use
any foul language to describe him.  Hearing him talk like that made me a
bit uncomfortable.  He even tried to pull me into the conversation, but I
excused myself and headed home.  Honestly, it's the first time, that I've
heard him talk bad about anyone.  What's really weird is that just last
week, I saw him stand up for this kid because some other kid was
threatening to beat him up just for being gay.  I'm really confused over
his actions.

By the way, I got another A in my English Comp class.  Our assignment was
to rewrite a fairy tale and set it in the modern day.  I just happened to
pick Cinderella.  I am extremely pleased with myself.

February 10, 2009

Scottie came over today to play some video games.  It would have been the
perfect time to talk to him since no one else was home.  I just couldn't do
it especially after yesterday.  Had a blast though, we played the same game
for hours.

February 14, 2009

Nothing exciting happened today.  We went to the chapel and cleaned.  Every
weekend a group of families are assigned to clean the church.  We do just
about everything except for the restrooms.

February 15, 2009

Church isn't the right place to tell Scottie, and yet this is where I feel
the need to come to him the strongest.  My mind races a million miles a
minute whenever he is around, which is why I don't write poetry with him
around.

We talked about reactivation of members today.  We have a quorum of 12
guys, but only 5 of us are active.  Our leader, Brother Barnes, suggested
we take three names as a quorum and focus on them for the next 4 weeks.  I
don't know how successful we will be, but it will be nice to have some new
faces around here.

I've been working on my poem for the past two weeks.  I finally feel like I
am getting somewhere with it, though I'm a little nervous about posting
it. The poem is called Face The Unchanging, and it deals with me still
being me regardless of being gay.  It also lets the reader know that I am
not going to change.  Now all I need is someone to hear the poem and tell
me what they think.  Only one choice for that and that person is my Uncle
Tim.  I wonder if he is sorry that I contacted him.

February 16, 2009

I grabbed my phone and quickly called my Uncle Tim's house.  It rang a
couple times and then someone picked it up.

"Hello Walker residence!"

"Is my Uncle Tim home?"

"No, Tim isn't home.  Can I take a message?"

"Just let him know that his nephew, Seth, called for him."

There was a slight pause on the phone before this other person spoke again.

"Sorry Seth, I didn't put two and two together.  I'm Mike, your uncle's
partner. What can I do for you?"

"Well, I am entering a poetry contest through school and wanted to read it
to Uncle Tim, but would you mind listening to it?"

"I would love to hear it."

"Cool, just give me a second to open my notebook to the right page..."

I can't believe this; someone actually wants to hear it.  I don't even know
what to think.  Hope Uncle Mike likes it!

"Face the Unchanging"

"Look at me, face me, see me as I am.  Don't you dare turn away from me
because of your own silly fear.  I will not change, I cannot change, I am
who I am.  Why should I hide, why be ashamed of me, your son and your
friend?  I've seen your eyes decide to turn the other way when someone more
open than me crosses your path.  My ears have heard the comments that
spring from your lips in front of our peers, but at least you're not the
vulgar type.  I want you to see me, to know that I'm still me inside and
out.  I just happen to be me, little unchanging me."


"Wow... Seth, that is really good!  So question for you, umm... are you
out?"

"No, I want to be out, but I am bit fearful."

"I think this poem is a good way to start the process.  I really think this
is the poem that you should enter.  Your uncle would love it.  I want a
copy, but I need to get out and do some shopping so I'll give you the
address as soon as I talk to your uncle"

"Thanks Uncle Mike!"

"You're very welcome."

Wow... now I wonder about the rest of my stuff. Is it good enough to be
published somewhere?  I really want the reader to feel my sincerity. This
contest has awakened in me a need to really write.

February 17, 2009

I turned in my poem to Miss. Dixon today.  She told me there may be a month
or two before I'll hear anything back on the contest.  You know, she really
encouraged me to start writing back in 10th grade.  She is an awesome
teacher.  She is a published author and a published poet.  She is awesome.

February 18, 2009

Today before scouts, I went out to the lake by the house and sat near the
shore just to relax.  I think that this will be my new place to write.
It's quiet and it's usually not to crowded, except for the occasional
person who's fishing.  Mom was worried about me being out late tonight.
She wanted me to stay home so that I would be home for dinner. I promised
her that I'd be home on time.

February 19, 2009

I want to share a poem with my mom but I'm not sure which one.  Face the
Unchanging would be the perfect one to share.  I'll have to come up with
something.  I always share my writing assignments with her.  She always
tells me that she loves my writing.  Just recently, Mom told me that she
thinks my writing has taken off from what it used to be.  You know, I have
to agree with her.

February 20, 2009

Right now, I am really feeling down.  I don't have anyone to depend on for
strength.  Mom and Dad would tell me that I have to have faith and believe
in myself.  No one in my immediate family really understands.  It hurts!
Anyway, I need to run.