Date: Tue, 15 Mar 2011 20:33:02 EDT
From: HnstSkr4@aol.com
Subject: This Is Seth - Chapter 8

Warning: This story doesn't contain any sex.  It's the story of gay teens.
None of the characters are based on real people, nor are they meant to
resemble any living or dead people.

Let me know what you think of the story by emailing me at Hnstskr4@aol.com

I want to thank everyone who has emailed.  I also want to thank those who
have read the story.  It means a lot hearing from you.  Please continue
reading!  There is a lot more to come.  I own all rights to this story.
Chuck B.

I've got such a great response to the story and would love to hear from
everyone who reads it.

I'm using a different technique for writing this story, so if you don't
like it, let me know, or if you really like it, let me know that, too.

Copyright © 2010, 2011

Characters Mentioned In This Chapter
Seth - Seth is the main character.  He is 17 at the start of this story.
Charlie Thompson -- Seth's Dad
Dawn Thompson -- Seth's Mom
Paul Thompson -- Seth's 15 year old brother
Paige Taylor - 17 friend of Seth's
Scottie Westbrook -- Seth's best friend

Chapter 8

Scottie!

I can't do this anymore.  My life would be so much easier if I were not
gay.  I know that I would have a girlfriend by now.  This conflict inside
of me wouldn't be going on and I would be at peace, if there is such a
thing as being at peace.  More importantly, Scottie wouldn't be causing
these feelings within me.  This mixture of emotions wouldn't be tearing me
up inside.  Not telling people is getting in the way of my life.  I want to
be free.  People don't just assume that I'm gay.  It's easy to go under
their radar.  Maybe it's been too easy. I should have told Scottie earlier.

Scottie needs to know and today is the day to tell him.  These past few
weeks have been killer.  I've put more energy into hiding from him than in
telling Scottie or in preparing to tell him.  I wonder if he's noticed my
odd behavior.  Don't want to lose him, but I can't control the consequences
that happen after I tell him.  Simply need to just tell him!  I'll just do
it now.

I'll invite him over to play a video game.  There is nothing abnormal about
it.  We always play video games together.  Hopefully my nerves will calm
down.  I'm sitting here stressing about his reaction.  I can put less
stress on myself by having him over when everyone else is home.  Don't want
to take chances with him; even though we are both about the same size, a
hit from him would really hurt.  I know that I can count on my mom and dad
to cushion the fall.  This is one time that I'm doing the right thing.
He's going to be upset. There is no getting around it.  Hopefully though,
he won't stay upset.  He's too good of a friend to lose.  Come to think
about it, everyone is home now.

Might as well get this mess over with!  I grab my phone and call his house.
With each ring, I'm getting more and more nervous.  It's so bad my arms are
shaking.  Maybe, I should just hang up.  I should just forget about all of
this.

"Hey Seth, what's up?"

Guess it's too late to forget about it.

"I just thought that maybe you might want to play some video games."

Wonder if he can hear how badly, my nerves are shaking me.

"Cool beans, I'm up for a rematch."

Well, I can't back out now.

"See in a few then Scottie!"

"Will do man!"

After he hung up with me, I grabbed my phone and called Paige.

"Hey, how is my favorite Mormon stud?"

"I'm extremely nervous."

"Why?" Paige asked.

"Today is the day; I'm going to tell Scottie."

"Are you serious?"

"Paige, I am deadly serious."

I could never be any more serious about anything in my life.  Wish things
didn't have to be this way, but I have to get this over with.

"Are you scared?"

"I'm not really scared of him hitting me, but honestly, I am afraid of
losing him as a friend.  Yeah, now I've been friends with him for a very,
very long time.  It hurts to think that I might lose him."

She was quiet for a couple seconds and then she spoke up.

"I hope..."

Out of nowhere there is a knock on the door.

"Paige, I'm sorry, but I think Scottie is at the door.  I need to get
going."

"Seth, be careful!"

"I will, and I'll call you after he leaves."

My mom answers the door.  I can't hear her voice or his, but I know it's
Scottie down there.

I can hear him coming up the stairs.  Right now, I feel like running to my
wastebasket and puking my guts out.  I turn on the television and my game
console.  My right hand pulls the game that I want off the shelf.  Just as
I'm about to insert the game, Scottie enters my room.

"Ready to get beat?"

I turn around and do my best to laugh.

"Yeah... you haven't beaten me yet at this game, but there's always a first
time for everything."

I'm way too nervous to really focus on the game.

"You going to put the disc in or are we going to sit here all night?"

"Yeah, I'm on it right now."

I slipped the disc in and sat there while it loaded up. Once the game was
loaded up, we started playing and I was doing pretty good, but not as good
as I usually do.  It's all about my nerves.  Wonder if he notices how bad
my game is tonight.  As we play, he cracks jokes and I do my best to crack
some myself.  Suddenly, my phone rings.

"Dude, who's calling you?" Scottie asked, knowing this will delay our game.
I look at my Caller ID and announce who is on the phone.

"Paige!"

He gave me some hand gestures telling me to hurry up.

"Hey Paige, what's up?"

"Have you told him yet?"

"Umm... no, no I haven't told him yet."

Scottie was getting impatient.  I was hoping she wouldn't be mad if I said
that I needed to go.

"Paige, I need to get back to the game.  Can you call me later?"

"Will do!  Good luck!"

With that we hung up, and Scottie and I went back to our game.


We are now half way through the game.  My nerves are killing me.  It's
literally causing me to die.  This is bad, and I do mean bad.  I just want
to run to the hills.  He's actually starting to tell that my game is off.

Scottie beat me!  He beat me at a game that I've beat him at, at least a
thousand times already.

"Man, that was one for the record books."

I tried to laugh it off, but Scottie wasn't buying it.

"What's up with you, man?  You never lose to me at this game.  You've been
acting funny all night.  Spill it, now!"

Wow... didn't expect him to want me to spill it.

"Nothing, it's..."

I'm just going to tell him.

"Okay so it's a lot more than nothing."

He looked confused.

"Scottie, I'm gay."

"What?"

He looked upset and confused.

"And you expect me to be okay with this?"

"No I don't!"

He was quiet for a second and then he sort of smiled.

"Is this a joke?"

"Scottie, have you ever known me to joke about something like this?"

I know this isn't going to end well.  He didn't even say anything else to
me.  He got up and walked out of my room.  I don't want to lose his
friendship, but I can't force him to like this announcement.  I also can't
hold back the tears anymore.  They wait to fall; I got to my bed before I
started to cry.


Guess the sobbing drowned out the noise of my mom coming into the room.  I
was aware of her sitting beside me.  She patted my back and rubbed my
shoulders.

"Seth, he'll come around some day.  You just have to be patient. In the
meantime, you have your family and we still love you."

I didn't stop crying, but it did make me feel better to know that my family
loved me.  She picked up the controller that Scottie was using and looked
at me.

"Want to play?"

Now, my mom has never played any of these games before.  In fact, she has
never once even asked to play any of them before.  Even though my mind
really isn't ready to play a game, I decide to play the game anyway.  We
start playing and I give her a short introduction to the game.  Making sure
to stress to her, how important it was for her to know the controls.  Once
she was able to manage the controls okay, she really wasn't half bad at it.
I still ended up beating her, but I have to admit that she wasn't half bad.
Besides, playing the game really helped to ease my mind.

"Thanks, Mom!"

She smiled at me and gave me a hug.

"You're welcome!"

My phone rings and I glanced down at the caller id.  Mom looked at it.

"Are you going to answer it?"

"It's Paige."

"Okay, so are you going to answer it?"

By now it was on the third ring out of five, and it would soon go into
voice mail.

"Would you please answer that phone?" Paul's voice rang out from his room.

I reached down to answer it, but by this time the phone had stopped
ringing.  I picked up the phone to call her back, when my mom made this
weird face.

"I think your dad just got home."

She got up and left the room.  Now, my Dad didn't just get home, it was her
way of letting me know that she knew I needed, no, *wanted* some privacy.
I love my parents.

I dialed Paige's number and waited for her to pick up the phone.

"Hey boyfriend!"

"What's up?"

There was no doubt in my mind why she had called, but that is sort of our
routine whenever one of us calls the other.

"I just called to see how things went with Scottie."

All of the sudden, I could feel my emotions coming back online.  I could
feel myself getting ready to cry.  Maybe I can will my tears back where
they came from.  I really, really do not want to cry on the phone.

"Not good, he stormed out of my room."

"I'm sorry!"

The way she said it, I could almost feel the hug coming across the phone.

"I... I don't know what to think. I have a feeling that he is out of my
life for good."

"Look Seth, Scottie could come around eventually."

I hope that Paige and my Mom are right about him.

"I... I hope you're right."

"Seth, everything is going to be alright.  It has to be."

For once, I find myself disagreeing with her.  How can losing your best
friend ever be okay?

"To be honest, I'm a little worried."

Really, does she think that she is alone on that score?

"You're not the only one."

I am truly, honestly scared and worried all at the same time.

"I think this could go bad at any minute."

I didn't want to hear that from Paige.

"Right, now Paige, I just need things to go back to the way they were
before I told him."

"No way, you did the right thing.  He needs to wake up and realize who he
is losing.  Seth, I need to run, but don't worry about school tomorrow."

"Okay Paige, I'll try!"

Don't worry about school, who is she kidding?  I'll be a joke.  Scottie,
why can't you just be okay with me?  I'm asking too much from him.  What I
want is for him to realize that I'll always be Seth.  I'll just be me.

I still have to deal with tomorrow.  Paige might be right, maybe I just
need to quit worrying.  It won't get me anywhere.  She is right; given
time, he'll come around.  If not. I guess I'll just have to move forward.

Still, I have to see him and the team at school tomorrow.  The big question
is will the truth be released to the student body.  While I want people to
know, I want it done in my own time.  Don't blame Scottie for being mad.
Hopefully, he'll keep it to himself.  If the team finds out they might run
me off.  I don't want to lose the fellowship of the team.  I also don't
want to walk away from something that I love.


School went by today without any issues.  The only real difference between
today and other days was that Scottie ignored me or gave me the dirty eye.
Right now, I'm in the locker room after wrestling practice.  I didn't
perform very well today, and Coach seemed less than happy.  I even saw him
giving Scottie some bad looks.  Coach stood up from his cushioned chair and
came out of his office.  He called out:

"Thompson, Westbrook, my office, now!"

Coach wasted no time once the door was shut.

"Thompson, what is going on?"

Coach was not happy, to say the least, and he didn't need to raise his
voice to show it.

"Just stressed, Sir."

"About what?"

Did he really expect me to answer him?  I couldn't lie to him... or could
I?

"It's nothing, just some family stuff."

Scottie glared at me and opened up his mouth to speak.

"Coach, Thompson's lying to you.  He's gay and he's afraid that I'll ruin
him."

He looked at Scottie, as if wondering if I really had any reason to be
afraid.

"Would you ruin him?"

"Wasn't planning on it."

He really wasn't going to tell anyone?  I hope he keeps it that way.

"Good, let's keep it that way."

He looked at Scottie and then pointed at his door.

"Westbrook, out to the lockers, now."

Once Scottie closed the door from the other side, Coach asked me, "Is he
right?"

I can't lie to this man again.

"Yes sir, he's right."

"Okay!"

He didn't say anything else to me.  Instead, he glared out the window at
Scottie and then looked back at me.

"Is this going to impact my team?"

I didn't mean to mess up today. I guess my mind was clouded over.

"No sir!"

"Good, now get out of my office."

As I walked out of his office, I gulped some air out of fear.  Scottie made
sure that I could see his displeasure.


Coach stepped out of his office with a very serious look on his face.

"Team, gather up!"

Oh no, he's going to tell them.

"Thompson is gay."

Even though I knew this was coming, I still can't believe that I just heard
it come out of his mouth.  Did he really just out me?  Why would he do
that?  I don't get it.

"This will not impact my team.  If it does, I'll deal with it immediately.
I WILL NOT put up with any homophobes on my team! Got it?"

Everyone just nodded their heads including me.  I didn't expect him to
support me like this.  He really buoyed me up today, but he wasn't done.

"Now, everyone, including Thompson, go run suicides.  I won't put up with
sloppy practices unless someone is sick. Now hurry up and get dressed."

After we were all dressed, Coach followed the team out into the gym and
watched us run.  I've never been so glad to leave the school behind.


Mom was sitting in the living room when I got home.  I was going to walk
right past her. Instead, my feet turned and walked back to her.  I sat down
next to her and looked at her.

"What happened?"

She knows me all too well.  I can't hide much from her.

"Scottie ignored me all day today and at practice."

She didn't look surprised.

"So then what happened?"

"Well, Coach called Scottie and me into his office.  He wanted to know why
our practice matches stunk so bad.  Well, to make a long story short,
Scottie outted me to Coach and Coach outted me to the team."

Mom's face went beet red!  She went to grab the phone.  I knew she was
going to call Coach and chew him out.

"Mom, don't make this call."

"Why? What he did was wrong."

I took a deep breath.  I knew that she was right, but after all, the man
did stand up for me.

"He stood up for me."

"Well, that is good at least.  Okay, I won't call."

She gave me a hug and then I turned and went upstairs.


My feet got me up the stairs in record time.  I grabbed my phone and called
Paige.  Hopefully she answers, because right now I really need to talk.
I've given her six rings and I'm not waiting any more on her.  Placing the
phone down, I went to my desk and started my computer.  Within a minute,
the phone rang and I picked it up.

"Hey homeboy!"

I laughed and it felt good too.  Guess laughter really is the best
medicine.  Well, I need to get this off my shoulders.

"Today's practice sucked big time."

She was quiet for a second and I knew there was something that I didn't
want to hear about to come out of her mouth.

"I heard Seth!  It's not good at all, buddy."

I'm really bewildered right now.

"Wait, I'm confused!  How did you find out?"

"It's all over the net.  The whole story made it to my email. So how are
you holding up?"

"Up until you told me how you found out, I was hurting, but now I'm feeling
sick."

This has gone from bad to worse.

"What are you going to do?"

"I have no idea."

It's not like me not to have a plan "A" or a plan "B", but I really do not
have a clue.

"Well bud, I have homework to do.  I'll talk to you later."

"Yeah, I'll catch you later."

Now, I need to just figure this mess out.  My Uncle Tim would be helpful,
but something tells me that I should ask my dad.


Yeah right now, I need my dad's advice.  So, I waited around till Dad got
home.  In the meantime though, I started my homework and checked the
internet for the bad news.  When Dad came home, I ran down the stairs and
pulled him to the side.

"Dad, I need some help?"

"What's up?"

"Well, I told Scottie that I was gay and things took a wrong turn and now
the whole school might know.

"Well, I guess you had to tell him eventually.  Did he tell the school?"

Dad asked a question that I honestly didn't have an answer for at this
point in time.

"No... I don't think so.  It's actually strange the way things turned out.
See, he told Coach in Coach's office because Coach wanted to know what was
going on with my game, and Scottie's, for that matter.  Scottie got the
news out faster than I could.  Then I get home, and Paige tells me that
it's all over the net.  I don't know what to do."

Dad gave me a hug.  He looked at me and got down on his knees and silently
prayed.  I am not sure how long he was down there, because after three
minutes, I went back upstairs.  After about fifteen minutes, Dad came back
upstairs.  He looked at me and said:

"Son, you'll just have to show them that you are still you, that being gay
hasn't changed you.  Other than that, I don't have any earth shaking
advice."

"Thanks Dad!"

I am starting to feel sick.  Maybe, I shouldn't have hit the web looking
for how bad things have gotten.


At this point in time my stomach is literally in knots.  Hopefully, with
some sleep, it will untie itself.  All night long, I tossed and turned,
dreamed, and spent half the night just staring at the walls.  When I was
still awake at 2:30 am, I knew that I wasn't going to school today.  Mom or
Dad would have to call me off, but I'm not going to wake them up to tell
them.  I'll just have to get up at my regular time.  Mom at least will be
home to call me off.  My alarm went off and I barely made it downstairs to
ask my mom to call me off.  Mom was making breakfast and for whatever
reason, the smell of the pancakes really tied up my stomach.  I had to make
a run to the toilet.  Unfortunately, Paul was in there combing his hair.
He wasn't one bit happy with me.

"Really Seth?"

He walked out the bathroom and went downstairs.  Mom came up with the phone
in hand.

"Am I calling you off?"

I looked up from the floor and said, "Yes!"

Once I was able to get up, I headed downstairs.  Mom was already siting
down on the couch.

"Does this have anything to do with yesterday?"

"Mom, I honestly didn't sleep last night.  All I did was toss and turn.  My
stomach was in knots and the smell of the pancakes this morning just made
me lose it."

She patted me on the back.

"Alright."

She dialed the school's call-off number and explained that I had thrown up
this morning.  She looked back at me and said, "Sounds like a bad case of
nerves!"

She didn't say anything else to me.  She turned and walked away.  The most
important thing is that Mom understood.  She took time out to not only call
the school, but to listen.