Date: Tue, 1 Oct 2002 22:15:16 -0400
From: Sequoyah <sequoyah@charter.net>
Subject: Climbing Bear

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				 Comments
  This is the end of Climbing Bear. A special thanks to Scott and Jason.

 If you liked this story, you might enjoy A Special Place, posted in
Nifty's High SChool section and the two sequels to it.  A Special Place and
the two sequels are also published http://go.to/gaywritersguild.

 A note is always appreciated: sequoyah@charter.net.


 When we got back to Wounded Hawk's place, there was a message on his
machine asking him to call someone in Reno. He did and as luck would have
it, they wanted him to come to the University of Nevada--Reno and lead a
seminar on modern Indian writers. He talked for half an hour, I guess
getting the details, hung up the phone and said, "Black Horse is definitely
working for us. I had been asked about doing a seminar last winter and
couldn't, but said I was interested. The person they had lined up had a bad
case of falsifying a resume and got booted so they were left holding the
bag. The seminar starts next Wednesday. This is Thursday so we'll take our
time and drive to Nevada, I'll drop you off at the Taylors and head to Reno
in plenty of time for the seminar. We'll leave in the morning. Now let's
find something you can eat. You can wear your moccasins if you like."

 "I like," I answered then ran to my room and got them. We drove to a part
of Denver I knew--vaguely since I don't think I ever saw it sober. Wounded
Hawk stopped in front of a nondescript building and we went inside. Most of
the people sitting at round tables were Indians, but there was a number of
whites as well. When we sat down, a young Indian girl came over, took one
look at Wounded Hawk and asked, "The usual?"

 "The usual," he replied. She returned with glasses of water and two cups
of strong coffee. Shortly after she had brought our drinks, she returned
with bowls of steaming stew and wonderful corn bread. As soon as that was
finished, an older woman brought us roast venison which was done to
perfection. As she turned to leave, Wounded Hawk said, "No use looking
Maria. You'll have to look else where for your daughter," and laughed. As
Marie walked away, he said to me, "I was half joking, but you can be sure
Maria was checking you out. She has a nineteen year old daughter who is a
real beauty. She's at University of Colorado-Boulder and Maria is afraid
she will take up with some breed or Anglo. Probably will happen, but Maria
checks out every young Indian guy who comes in and tries to get her
daughter to date the one if she approves." We finished the roast and
Wounded Hawk asked, "Dessert?"

 "Nothing sweet," I replied.

 "Maybe a little sweet?"

 "Maybe a little." The young girl who had waited on us first came over when
Wounded Hawk caught her eye. I guess she knew what he was going to order
because she brought a dish prepared with chokecherries. Delicious, but not
overly sweet.

 When we got back to the house, it was long past my bedtime and I was very
sleepy. I went to my room, undressed and slipped into bed. Half an hour
later I was still wide awake, but dreadfully sleepy. I finally realized
that I felt as though I was sinking, smothering in the bed. I crawled out
of bed, got my sleeping bag and lay in the floor and was asleep in seconds.

 I was awake with the sun, took a shower--in cold water, hot water seemed
unclean to me now--and dressed. I had very few things not packed and I had
them in order when Wounded Hawk called me to breakfast. We ate, cleaned up
after ourselves and loaded our things in his truck and left Denver. I had a
taste of getting back into the world I hadn't known for a year and decided
it might not be as easy I thought.

 As we left Denver behind, Wounded Hawk said we were in no hurry and would
take the scenic route. That made me happy because superhighways are made
for avoiding the seeing things. They get you from one city to another with
as little thought as possible.

 Often we turned down roads that didn't appear on the map, but which took
us into the wilderness. Thursday afternoon Wounded Hawk turned off a state
highway and it appeared we were going cross country because I saw no trail,
much less a road. He drove into a grove of old, gnarled trees, stopped and
said, "We'll be camping here tonight." While Wounded Hawk got out a locker
with food in it, I gathered pine cones and dead limbs and soon had a fire
started. It was spring, but we were in the high desert and it got cold at
night. When we had eaten, we wrapped ourselves in our sleeping bags and sat
by the glowing embers of our fire and talked. We talked about my year with
Black Horse and my future.

 "Climbing Bear, I am an academic in the white man's world. It has given me
a good living and I like it, but don't think I want you to follow in my
footstep. You choose your way. I will insist that you get your GED. Until
you do that, many paths are closed to you. The Taylor's had already found
out what you need to do to accomplish that."

 "Do they know I am gay? That that has been worrying me," I said.

 "No, they don't know, not because it would make any difference to them,
but because the question hasn't been asked and won't be asked by them. If
you want to tell them, fine. That's your decision. They are simply
expecting a young Indian who needs to get back into the world most all of
us have to live in. They may or may not have a job lined up for you. Really
doesn't matter because if you can't find a job, you can always
carve. Probably make more than you could at a job.

 Friday we crossed into Utah. When I mentioned that I'd like to see the
dinosaur fossils at Dinosaur National Monument, we made a side trip and
spent time in the park. When we left, Wounded Hawk said we'd camp out again
Friday night, but live high Saturday night. I learned what he meant when we
reached Salt Lake City Friday afternoon and checked in to one of the best
hotels in the city. "UN-Reno is paying my expenses and since we will be
camping out over half the time, I see no reason why we shouldn't have the
best the other half."

 We did camp out the next two days, finally arriving in Winnemucca Tuesday
afternoon. I was pretty nervous about meeting the Taylors, but I needn't
have been. Betsy Taylor could best be described as pleasingly plump. It was
a pity she never had children because she looked the way I thought mothers
should look, but if she had, she wouldn't have been mother to so many who
had none. John Taylor was wiry, tall for an Indian and thin, but very
strong. Both welcomed me with open arms and I soon felt very comfortable
with them.

 I didn't know what arrangements Wounded Hawk had made concerning my keep
so when we were having dinner the night I arrived, I told them I had money
from selling my carvings and could pay for my keep if they would tell me
what I owed.

 "Climbing Bear, we were never able to have children which we wanted very
much. The Great Spirit had other plans for us. We have had children in the
house practically from the day we married. They are our children. A family
does not expect the children to pay for their keep and we are a family,"
John laughed and said, "Of course, most new children aren't full grown as
you are, but that's no never mind."

 "John, Betsy, this is one child who is very thankful for your kindness and
who will make you proud, that's a promise."

 "I'm sure you will."

 I had saved a carving for the Taylors and I got up from the table and got
it and gave it to Betsy. "Climbing Bear, it is beautiful." Betsy said as
she looked at the carving. I had carved it after the she-bear had brought
her cubs to me when I was on my vision quest. It was a carving of the
mother bear and the two cubs. "I will treasure it always, she said as she
reacher up and pulled my face to hers and kissed me on the cheek.

 Wounded Hawk left the next morning for Reno and when I had finished
breakfast, John and I talked about my plans for the future. "You can take a
free GED prep course here, Climbing Bear, and take the tests as you are
ready for them. You might be able to pass them now, but you will be tested
to make sure what you need to study. I don't know what kind of work you
would like. The only opening I know right now is with the grocery. They
need someone to stock. It pays too little--everything around here does--and
you will have to work nights. You can work from 4:00 until mid-night or
mid-night until 8:00. Second shift will just about wreck any social life
and third shift means you will be sleeping most of the day. Maybe later
something else will open up. Of course, you don't have to go to work right
away."

 "I'm not worried about any social life, but I think I need to check out
when I can take the GED prep course and plan around that. Wounded Hawk
thinks it's important. I am not sure it is."

 "It is in a kinda strange way. Of course, if you want to go on to higher
education, it is an absolute essential. But even if you don't, most people
look at a high school dropout and see problems. We can check on that today
since I took the day off work."

 I learned that the prep classes during the day were generally filled with
very young dropouts who still needed teachers. The evening course was
computer-based and a student could move at his own speed. I told the
director of the program I would like to be in the evening group. He told me
I'd have to wait until there was a vacancy since the class was full.

 John and I went to meet the manager of a local grocery store and I hired
on to stock from midnight until eight in the morning. "I hope you can start
tonight," the manager said. "I have been without stocking help for three
weeks and having to do it myself. I am about ready to drop." I told him I
could. He said he'd help me get started and then it was my ball game.

 Within a couple weeks, I had settled into a routine. I worked from
midnight until eight in the morning, went home, showered and had
breakfast. John had long since left for work. Betsy didn't work--wrong! She
didn't work at an outside job. She always had a cup of coffee and we talked
while I had breakfast. After breakfast, I slept until noon, had lunch and
then spent the afternoon carving and preparing for my GED using a workbook
I had purchased.

 The second Sunday I was in Winnemucca, John and Betsy asked if I'd like to
take a ride and see some of the countryside. We had a very enjoyable day of
it. Betsy had packed a picnic and we found a nice spot for a picnic. As we
were relaxing afterward, I said, "I'd sure like to spend some time out
here. I can just see myself enjoying the outdoors while I am carving."

 "There are bike trails around. Maybe you need to get a bike and then you
can explore all you care to."

 "Good idea! I'll look into that tomorrow."

 Monday I went into town to see about getting a bike. I found one I liked,
but the price seemed steep to me, but when I talked to John about it Monday
evening, he said it was reasonable. "I guess I have lost touch with the
cost of things having had no money or needing any for a year. I'll pick up
the bike tomorrow." I was afraid the bike shop owner wouldn't accept a
check so I was prepared to go to the ATM and get cash, but when I told him
that, he said since I was living with the Taylors, a check was fine. "From
what I have heard, all the people the Taylors have taken in haven't been
trustworthy."

 "True, they have had some real cases, but that doesn't mean a check from
one of them would be bad. You live with the Taylors, you obey the
rules. You have about a six months trial period. After that if you haven't
shaped up, you are out. Sounds harsh, I guess, but as Betsy said, 'If we
can't straighten out a kid in six months, someone else needs to try.' I
can't recall any who were ever asked to leave. A few had decided, on their
own, to leave. Most of them were younger than you, so I guess you pretty
much were straight before you arrived."

 I smiled to myself when he called me straight. I know he wasn't referring
to my sexuality, but it was kinda funny anyway. The owner, his name was
Jerry, gave me a rough map of some places good for biking and over the
summer we became good friends, often riding together.

 The bike made a big change in my routine since anytime the weather
permitted--and that was most of the time--I ate lunch and headed for the
hills on my bike. I had my carving knives and wood in a saddlebag so I
found a nice spot and sat and carved. Some of the time I just sat and
observed what was going on around me.

 Fourth of July the town had an arts and craft fair along with the other
activities. Betsy and John urged me to exhibit some of my carvings. I had
no idea what price to put on them so I wrote the shop owner in Denver for
suggestions and included the letter in a box of carvings I sent him. He
replied promptly. I told John and Betsy I thought the prices were
high. They didn't think so, but agreed when I suggested, since I didn't
have to bother packing and shipping the carvings, I could charge less. We
decided on ten percent less than they would have sold for in Denver. I
displayed two dozen carvings in a booth I shared with a potter friend of
the Taylors.

 There was a very large crowd of vacationers in Winnemucca for the Fourth
and I had sold all the carving before lunch. When I went home for lunch, I
looked at what I had left. There were only a dozen or so since I had
shipped a large box to Denver the week before. The second group sold in no
time and after I paid for half the booth rental, I had almost $700 to
deposit to my account. Since I worked in the grocery store, I kept an eye
on what Betsy needed and always brought home a huge box of groceries each
payday. She and John protested the first few times, but finally I told them
I needed to do it for myself and they accepted what I brought with thanks
after that.

 My grocery job paid little, but it was enough to take care of my needs. I
even paid for the bike out of what I made there so all the money I earned
for my carvings went into the bank. John learned it was all in a checking
account and advised me to transfer it to savings so I could draw a little
interest. Later when I was talking with him about how much I had saved, he
was surprised and said I should buy CDs so I could earn more. When he said
CDs I thought he was talking recordings! He finally realized I didn't know
what he was talking about and gave me a lesson in banking.

 In mid-August, I got a call from the GED instructor telling me I could
start the first of September. I was on a Monday, Wednesday, Friday schedule
and the computers were available from 7:00 until 9:00 and 9:00 until
11:00. I signed up for the 9:00 until 11:00 slot. That required another
change in my routine as I went directly from the class to the
grocery. George, the grocery manager, said he saw no reason why I couldn't
work from 11:30 until 7:30 so I wouldn't have an hour between school and
work.


dI knew sooner or later the question of my sexuality would probably come
up, but I didn't expect it to come the way it did. Both John and Betsy had
made comments form time to time about my lack of a social life. I always
dismissed it as not having the time. The second Sunday in September, the
Taylors had a guest for Sunday dinner, Virginia Jackson, a new high school
teacher. She was a very attractive young woman, a few years younger than I
was. I found out she was a biking nut and ask if she'd like to go riding
some time. She said she would and we agreed to go biking the following
Saturday.

 Virginia was a good, strong biker and we make quite a round. I enjoyed it
very much and she did as well. We decided we'd go again Sunday
afternoon. After that we went most Saturdays and Sundays. She would pack a
picnic or Betsy would and we'd find a place and picnic. I really enjoyed
being with her and she seemed to enjoy being with me. The first Saturday in
October we had planned a pretty long ride and Betsy was packing lunch for
us. She was acting kinda strange and as she handed the picnic basket to me
asked, "Climbing Bear, do you not find Virginia attractive?"

 "Sure I do. Why do you ask?"

 "Well, I was just wondering she mentioned that she felt very attracted to
you, but you must not find her attractive. I think she i smore than a
little interested, Climbing Bear."

 "Oh damn," I said without thinking. "I'm sorry, Betsy. I didn't mean to
use that kind of language."

 "I'm not worried about that, but I am worried that there's a problem I'm
missing."

 "Betsy, I guess I knew it would happen sooner or later, but I sure wanted
it to be later. I can't lie to you, Betsy, but I wish I didn't have to say
what I need to say. I find Virginia very attractive, I enjoy being with her
tremendously. She is a great friend--at least now she is--but that's all
there is and all there ever will be. I love Virginia as a sister, as a good
friend, but that's it."

 "I don't think I understand, Climbing Bear. I don't think I understand."

 I hung my head, not out of shame, but out of fear. I didn't want to see
Betsy's face when I told her the truth. "Betsy, I couldn't lie to you if I
wanted to. I guess I could just pass this all off as a joke, but it's
not. There can never been anything more between Virginia and me than what
there is now because I am different. I am..."

 "You are two spirits blessed! I should have known."

 I looked up with tears in my eyes and said, "Yes, Betsy, I am gay." Betsy
walked over to my and hugged me to her ample bosom, stroked my hair and
said, "Climbing Bear, I should have known. You are indeed two spirits
blessed. And don't worry, I will handle Virginia in a mother's way and you
need tell only those whom you respect who ask. Otherwise, it's no one's
business."

 Virginia was coming over to my place and when it was time for her, Betsy
sent me on an errand. When I got back, Virginia was ready to go. When she
didn't think I was looking, I caught her looking at me very strangely, but
she said nothing.

 That night, while we were having dinner, I told John I was gay and he
laughed and said that was going to make some women very unhappy. When he
said that, I looked at Betsy and said, "Ok, Betsy, out with it. How did you
handle Virginia."

 "Well, I really didn't tell her anything she didn't know. I just told her
I thought she might be looking at you as more than a friend and that I
hated to see her brokenhearted and your friendship destroyed, but that you
had already committed yourself in a way that meant you could never be more
than a very good friend to any woman. She asked if that meant you had taken
vows and I told her no, it was just a responsibility and obligation you
were born with. She asked if it had anything to do with your being Indian
and I say I guess it did since it was a part of you and you were
Indian. She thanked me for preventing her from making a fool of herself and
then asked if this part of you meant you couldn't continue to be friends
and I told her no, that it probably meant you could be closer friends."

 John and I were both laughing as Betsy told us what she had said in a very
serious manner. And it worked. Virginia and I continued to be friends, very
good friends. We didn't spend as much time together as we had because, in
mid-term, an ancient physics teacher dropped dead and was replaced by Phil,
a very attractive young man who also became a close friend. In fact, Betsy
started it, but soon everyone who knew us called us the Three Musketeers.

 Phil was a biker, but by the time he arrived in town, the bikes had been
put away for the season. The school booster club had equipped an excellent
exercise room and the school board had opened it to the town. One of the
coaches was to supervise and to pay for his extra time, there was a small
fee for use of the gym after school. All three of us joined and worked out
Tuesday and Thursdays when I wasn't in class. In fact, there got to be a
Tuesday and Thursday group of regulars who did other things together--go to
the movies, ski, other physical activities and we often got together to
play games. Our Monopoly games were strictly cut-throat. Betsy said we
sounded like the New York Stock Exchange when we played at our place.

 I had taken my GED tests as I thought I was ready for them, saving science
and math for last. I aced each of the ones I had taken and took the science
and math tests in early December. I did well on them, but not as well as I
had done on the others. I was told I could graduate with the high school
class in June, but somehow or other I didn't think it was something I
needed since I had the important piece of paper.

 Christmas Day John and Betsy were delivering a food basket to a family who
had fallen on bad times when a drunk driver hit them head on. Fortunately
neither car was moving fast, but John suffered a broken leg and internal
injuries. Betsy was banged up, but nothing serious so she was treated and
released. John was told he'd be hospitalized for two weeks then have at
least two months before he could go back to work. His hospital bills were
automatically paid by the drunk driver's insurance, but he didn't have
disability insurance. I knew that and knew there was no money coming
in. Sooner or later there would be an insurance settlement, which would
have to pay for lost work time, but heaven only knew when that would
be. Knowing that, I sat Betsy down and told her I would be supporting us
until John recovered and the drunk's insurance paid off. She started
protesting and finally my temper got the better of me. "Betsy, you are
going to have one angry Indian on your hands here in a minute. You can play
the martyr for someone else. You took me in when I needed it. I don't need
you now. Can you understand that? I don't need you. When I came, you didn't
need me. Now you do. You can damn well take the help I am offering and be
thankful for it. You silly, foolish pride is a crock of shit. You know
something Betsy? I have heard church people say it is more blessed to give
than to receive. Well, I can add to that. It's a hell of a lot easier. I
know. I have been on the receiving end for a damn long time. You have been
on the giving end and now you are going to learn just how hard it is to
receive, like it or not. Now get out your frigging budget book and we will
see how we are going about this."

 I had never seen Betsy cowed before, but she was now. She almost cringed
as she went to her desk and picked up the notebook she used to keep up with
bills. Suddenly I couldn't help it. I burst out laughing. "Betsy, you can
stand up now, my barking is over and I have no bite. Betsy looked at me,
stopped, and started laughing herself. Once she got started, she couldn't
stop.

 When she got control of herself, she said, "Climbing Bear, I guess I
needed that, but it is funny to have your son take you down a peg or two."

 She brought her budget book and we looked over the bills. I had never seen
her budget before and was surprised at just how far she made a dollar go,
but it was definitely a paychec-to paycheck situation. With no income from
John, there was nothing to fall back on. In fact, I was surprised that
without the groceries I brought in, things would really have been
tight. You would never have known that John and Betsy didn't have any
surplus and just lived from paycheck to paycheck.

 "Betsy, I passed my math test so I think I can see here that without one
pay check we--and I mean we--are in deep doo-doo. I don't see anything here
that can be put off. The utilities have to be paid, we have to have food
and there's a house payment here."

 "John and I have always said the house was our savings. I can get an
equity loan on it."

 "Betsy, that would be foolish. You'd risk your home for a few thousand
dollars. You have been paying on the house how long?"

 "Twenty-something years. I'm not sure."

 "Ok, I'll write a check equal to John's paycheck since that will make
keeping your budget easy. But no house payment until I talk with the
bank. And we have to do something about a car. I suspect the man who hit
yours insurance agent will be coming around wanting to settle. Don't sign
anything. You probably need to hire a lawyer so you don't get
flim-flamed. Know a good one?"

 "Actually I do. Joey Nelson is a lawyer here in town. Don't think he will
charge a great deal since he is one of our boys."

 "Call him now and retain him even if it costs money. Insurance companies
exist to receive payments, not make them and they have more practice in
avoiding payment than we do in getting it."

 The next day I went to the bank to check on the Taylors' mortgage. I was
told the information couldn't be given out and I understood that. I had the
manager call Betsy to get permission for me to see their payment
schedule. I had seen the payments were $400 per month month. They had been
paying on their house for twenty-nine years lacking a month, so they were
now paying almost everything on the principal. They only owed thirteen more
payments. I wrote a check for the current payment and $1200 additional. Of
course, the extra came off the principal, but I'd pay more next month since
I had a check coming for carvings I had sent to Denver in November.

 January came and with it my twenty-third birthday. The gym crew managed to
pull a surprise birthday party for me. My real birthday present had come a
few days early when John came home.

 The week following my birthday, George, my boss, asked if I would consider
driving the truck which went into Reno for things not delivered to the
store. "It involves three trips a week. The other two days you can work
store hours." I leapt at the chance and started driving for him. I was
surprised to discover I loved it. The trip was solitude time for me and I
enjoyed being out, even if I was inside a truck.

 I paid a couple more house payments, adding $1200 additional once. I
hadn't bothered to tell Betsy I had either time. In March the insurance
company finally settled. The doctors had told John he couldn't go back to
work until May, so the settlement included income replacement for all the
time he was out of work along with money for pain and suffering. John and
Betsy decided paying off the house was the first priority and were
surprised at how little they owed. With a day job and having finished with
my GED, I had more time to devote to carving. Also, I took work with me
when I went to Reno because there was always a delay while I got loaded.

 Shortly after John came home, I was talking about how much I enjoyed the
trips to Reno and John asked if I had thought about becoming a truck
driver. "You are unattached, need to see the country and it pays well." I
told him I hadn't thought about it, but it sounded good. "You still have a
bit of money saved don't you? I mean after bailing us out."

 I said I did and I would look into the possibilities of getting my
commercial driver's license. I had to go to Reno to find a divers' training
school. I rented a room for six weeks and worked very hard at getting the
training I needed. I passed my tests on my first try and found a job
immediately doing local hauls.

 I moved out of my room and into an efficiency apartment. I was making good
money and after a month, bought a four wheel drive truck. My job was five
days a week and eight hours or less since it was based on making a round
trip so loading and unloading time really determined how long I had to
work. The dead time I used to carve or jaw with other drivers. Weekends I
went home to Winnemucca.

 One Friday after work, a couple of drivers I had befriended asked if I'd
like to join them for a beer. "If I can have ginger ale, would love to." We
went to a local bar and the two downed a couple beers in no time flat, and
started urging me to have a brew. I had been sober for several years, I
told myself, and could probably handle a beer. I ordered a beer and when I
picked it up, became conscious of someone taking the bar stool beside
me. Before I could turn around, Black Horse said, "I'm not around to sober
up your ass this time." I almost dropped the beer as I turned to see who
had spoken. There was no one there. What I had heard really crashed in on
me then. Black Horse really wasn't here to sober me up and I knew that one
beer would lead to more and more. I put it down, thanked the two guys and
left. That was the last time I was tempted to get drunk and I knew that one
beer would lead to being drunk.

 A week later, the trucking company manager asked if I was interested in
taking on long hauls and I told him I was. I was assigned a rig and started
hauling long distances. I enjoyed seeing the country, I was making good
money. I had decent clothes, paid for my truck, moved into a nice small
house on which I had a rent-to-own agreement. In short, I had everything I
wanted except companionship. I was lonely. I saw John and Betsy
infrequently since I wasn't in the area for any length of time. They had
taken in a fifteen year old boy who had "my room," so I was never in
Winnemucca overnight. Phil and Virginia had married in the spring and were
expecting a baby. I enjoyed seeing them, but it increased my sense of
loneliness.

 My path kept crossing that of two drivers who drove as a team, Al and
Chris. I had come to suspect they were gay, but the question had never been
asked. Then it happened that we were all three in Beaumont, Texas waiting
to pick up a load of motor oil. For some reason or other, we had a delay in
the loading and couldn't get loaded until late the following day. "Why
don't we rent a really nice room and take it easy?" Al suggested.

 "Sounds good to me. You pick the place."

 Al called and made reservations in a swanky hotel rather than a motel. "We
all have money to blow so why don't we? Life is short."

 We got our bags from the trucks, called a cab and went to the hotel. When
we got to the suite--Al had really gone all out--we showered dressed in
nicer attire than we wore driving and went down to dinner. When we were
ordering drinks, Al said, "Order what you want, but Chris and I cannot have
alcohol became of our medicines."

 I laughed and replied, "I can't have it because I'm a recovering drunk."
The meal was great and afterward we decided to take in a movie. When we got
back to the room, Chris said, "Med time, Al." They each took a handful of
pills and when they finished, Chris said, "Climbing Bear, hope this doesn't
run you off, but I guess you need to know about Al and me. We are both HIV
positive, that's the reason for the pills. Not that it means anything to
you one way or another. We are also gay which may mean something to
you--one way or another," he laughed. "We are in fact, a "until death do us
part" couple, lovers, soulmates, call it what you will. As I said, I guess
you need to know that and I hope it doesn't make any difference."

 I'll admit, I was surprised. "I never suspected and am surprised I haven't
heard it mentioned by other drivers. But anyway, it does make a difference,
a huge difference because I am gay." Once the words were out of my mouth,
it was like a dam had burst. I talked for two solid hours with few comments
from the two, pouring out my life story.

 When I finished, Chris said, "Climbing Bear, I never suspected and I know
about loneliness, both of us do. We've been there, especially after we
tested positive, but we have each other now, long after we both expected to
be dead. We may die in a wreck next week, food poisoning at some greasy
spoon next month or AIDS next year, but we are making good use of the time
we have--long or short."

 The two talked about their lives and before we went to bed, there was a
group hug, which I liked even though I felt strange doing it.

 We met again in Reno a few weeks later. We all had the weekend free and I
invited them to stay at my place. "Got room for an extra?" Al asked.

 "Sure, especially if he's an Indian and sleeps on the floor."

 "As a matter of fact he is an Indian, but I don't know where he sleeps,"
Al laughed. "Give me the directions to your place. He's not in yet so I'll
call him in his truck and give him directions." I gave Al the directions to
my place and when he finished talking to his friend, he said, "He said he'd
be in by 5:00 and to hold supper."

 I kept my truck at the terminal when I was on a run so I could have a way
home when I got back. The three of us got in and headed for my place. On
the way, we stopped by a grocery store and picked up food for the
weekend. Chris and Al got a kick out of my grocery shopping. I had not
forgotten what I had learned working in the grocery in Winnemucca and put
it to good use...We got to my place and I opened the windows to let fresh
air in then the three of us started getting supper. At 5:00 a taxi drove up
out front. I looked out the window and saw a man get out, look at the
house, pay the driver and start up the walk. I couldn't see his face, but
he was tall for an Indian, I thought and was wiry in build. When he walked
on the porch, Chris threw open the door with a flourish, bowed and said,
"Welcome, Chief!"

 "Chief hell, I'm just a humble kick ass warrior you Anglo."

 "Watch your mouth or us white folks will have to whop you Indian ass
again. Get your lazy ass in here we have a real Indian for you to
meet. Climbing Bear, this is one damn great Indian, Taequo, rescuer of
young good looking boys. Taequo, Climbing Bear, Apache extraordinary."

 "Taequo, welcome to my house," I said as I shook hands with him. "What's
this about rescuing young good-looking boys?"

 "Just a little adventure I had a while ago in Florida. Tell you about it
later. By the way, that was part of the reason my chief gave me my second
eagle's feather. Guess you white folks don't have such."

 "Because of your kind, we can't even own one. Got any eagle feathesr,
Climbing Bear?"

 "Just one, but I'm young," I laughed. After all the banter, Taequo said,
"Damn glad to see you two again. It's been awhile. Give me a hug!"

 The three men hugged each other with a lot of patting on the back. When
they finished, Taequo said, "Climbing Bear, how about a bear hug," and
laughed. Taequo was wiry, but strong as a bear. I could tell from his
hug. I still wasn't used to hugging, but I was learning to like it quickly.

 We had a grand time at dinner. I guess we eat at truck stops and wherever
we can so a good home-cooked meal was special. When we finished, I poured
coffee and we all went to the living room and just talked. After awhile I
remembered Chris' comment about Taequo rescuing a young, good-looking boy
and asked about it.

 "It was the damndest thing. I was leaving Florida headed north when I
realized I was taking the wrong route--well, not the wrong one, but not the
one I intended to take. It was raining like mad and as I started across a
causeway, I saw a kid climbing up on the guardrail of a bridge. I stopped
the truck in record time, hopped out and grabbed him just as he was about
to jump. He was naked as a jaybird. I put him in the sleeper and Chris and
Al met up with us and we got him dressed in some of Chris' clothes. Later
we had a prayer meeting--our kind of prayer meeting." The three laughed and
later told me their prayer meetings were straight talk. "I took him to meet
a family friend and thought that was the end of it. It wasn't. Turns out he
was gay and felt he had cheated on his soulmate and both of them went off
the deep end. Old Red Hawk shows up and gets them straightened out. They
did a vision quest with him last summer and then had a gay wedding. Red
Hawk was dead, but by damn, he showed up. Great ceremony. They are going to
Ohio to college. Expect to see them next week or so. But what's this about
you having a feather?"

  Friday night, Al and Chris had the guest room which had a bed in
it. "Taequo, I hope you are a real Indian because there is no other bed. I
have a futon and sleep on the floor. You have the living room. You probably
noticed the couch is a futon. You can sleep on the couch or put the futon
on the floor." As I spoke, I handed him a sleeping bag.

 "Perfect," he said.

 Al and Chris went on to bed and Taequo poured another cup of coffee and
asked me again about my eagle feather. I told him about my year with Black
Horse and what had happened since.

 Saturday morning I suggested we head for the hills just to get away from
the city. We had a grand time doing nothing but telling tales and enjoying
being in the outdoors. Sunday Chris and Al went to Mass. Chris said somehow
or other his growing up religion had taken on a pretty significant meaning
when he realized he was facing death. "Of course, Al and I may outlast you
two, but when I was first diagnosed as HIV positive, it was a death
sentence.

Taequo and I sat around the house while they were gone, talking about what
it was like growing up Indian. His early years had a lot in common with
mine. I guess when you live in two worlds growing up, you are not sure
where you fit or if you do. Somehow or other we had to come to grips with
being Indians and feeling comfortable with that before we could function in
the white man's world.

 I found myself really liking Taequo. There was no bukkshit about him and
great depth, but he was also one funny Indian. One minute he would be very
serious and the next I would be rolling in the floor laughing.

 When Chris and Al got back, we fixed dinner then talked about our schedule
for the coming week. I had checked before I left Friday and saw there were
two possibilities. One would take me to Atlanta and the other
Richmond. "Take the Atlanta one," Taequo said. "I'm headed to Memphis then
Atlanta. We'll hook up in Atlanta if our schedules work out."

 I said I'd do that unless someone else had the run. "Hey, it's Sunday and
guys are starting their runs, call the dispatcher and ask for the Atlanta
run. Taequo, our paths will cross in Memphis if we time it right," Al said.

 I called the dispatcher and asked for and got the Atlanta run via Waco,
Texas. When I got back, Taequo had a sheet spread out on the coffee
table. When I got near I saw it was a road map with three routes mark in
red, blue and green. "That's it, Taequo said. "Now that I own my rig, I
have a lot more punch when it comes to getting routes. I finally have
arrived because I have those three runs. Of course, when I get tired of
them, I ask for others."

 When I left Reno Monday morning, I found myself singing. I was surprised
at how happy I was. After I thought about it, I realized I had a good
weekend. I had been with people who had some understanding of me and who I
understood. It had been the best weekend I had in a long time.

 As I approached Atlanta, I found myself singing again. I was looking
forward to seeing Taequo. It was not the usual pull into town, sleep and
leave without seeing anyone you really knew and doing nothing. I really
wasn't seeing much of the country because when I had a layover, I slept or
hung around the terminal. Maybe Taequo would be up to doing something other
than sleep and eat.

 I reached the terminal and left my trailer to be unloaded and reloaded for
the return trip. I had a day layover in Atlanta and hope Taequo had the
same. As I took my tractor to the motel where I would be staying, I
suddenly realized Taequo didn't know where I was staying and I didn't have
his cell phone number. I was mentally kicking myself when my cell phone
rang. I had a no hands rigs, so I just punched the button and before I
could say hello, I heard, "Damn good Indian you are. I tried to find your
trail, but you done gone and hid it good--you thought. Had to call your
dispatcher to get your cell phone number, but I hope you didn't think you
could hide that easily."

 "Taequo, where the hell are you," I practically shouted I was so glad to
hear his voice.

 "You might look at the ramp coming up," he laughed. As I did, I saw
Taequo's tractor pull on to the highway. "You headed where I'm headed?" he
asked.

 "Depends on where you're headed. I'm headed for the motel at exit 36."

 "Got reservations?"

 "Have never needed them," I replied.

 "You will this weekend. The Shriners are in town along with the Promise
Keepers. There is no room at the inn."

 "Damn! I guess I'm in for a long ride to find a bed."

 "I'll share my room if you are a real Indian and sleep on the floor,"
Taequo laughed.

 We got to the motel, signed in and went to our room. "Up to a movie
tonight or had you rather go to a strip joint?" Taequo asked.

 "Think I'll pass on the strip joint, how about a movie?"

 "Man, you are in for a treat! Let's get showered, changed and head
downtown. We can eat and then take in a movie at the Fox. Summer series is
on and there's a theater organ sing along. I love it. Hit the shower and
get dolled up."

 When we had both showered, we took the train downtown, had a wonderful
meal then went to the Fox. The movie was an experience. I had never heard a
theater organ and this was a huge one. I loved it. After the movie, we
walked around downtown for awhile with Taequo pointing out the sights. It
was midnight when we caught the train back to the motel.

 We both started to pull the mattresses off the bed and sleep on the floor,
but realized there wasn't room so we crawled in bed. I was pleased that
there were two beds because I was nervous about sleeping with a man and
especially Taequo.

Taequo was up before I was and when I got up, he was gone. I showered and
had just gotten dressed when he came back to the room with coffee. "Thought
you might need some wake up juice," he said as he handed me a cup. "I have
sugar and that creamer stuff if you want it."

 "Know Black Horse? I lived with Black Horse a year. He made the coffee
most of the time and it was hot, black and that was it. I just want it hot
and black. Thanks."

 "I picked up a paper yesterday. Friday's addition always has a section on
what's going on in Atlanta. Been here before?

 "Yea, but I realized the other day all I ever saw of a city was the
terminal and the inside of a motel room. Guess I have been real stupid that
way."

 "Don't know about stupid, but since all terminals and all motels look
alike, you sure have missed a lot. Ok, we are here all day today and
tonight. When do you leave? Sunday morning?"

 "Right."

 Ok, then today we got to the Martin Luther King Center. You need to see
that. He did a lot for us as well as blacks. Don't think the present crowd
is doing much for anyone, but the center's about the past and a great
man. Then there's the Carter center. Great man, lousy president. And late
this afternoon and this evening, Stone Mountain and the laser show. But
first breakfast."

 I learned a lot about Taequo that Saturday. He was very serious and
reverent at the King Center. He was serious, but having a good time at the
Carter Center. He had really meant it when he called Jimmy Carter a great
man. I knew little about him and was fascinated at the Center and at
Taequo's knowledge of the man.

 Stone Mountain was a hoot. It was a strange mixture of history, amusement
park and pretence. Nothing would do but that the two of us climb the
mountain. It wasn't too difficult for me and a snap for Taequo. The laser
show was also a strange mixture of fun and half seriousness. I did have to
laugh when the figures on the mountain appeared to go marching off.

 We had been able to do everything by bus and train which I liked because a
tractor is not a very good pleasure vehicle. We decided we were both hungry
and found a place and ate a second supper at midnight.

 The next morning Taequo again beat me up and brought coffee. "You know, I
could get used to having someone bring me coffee every morning."

 "Laudy, Massa Rhett, I don't know that Miss Scarlett would let me do
that," Taequo said in Prissy's voice. That squeaky little voice coming out
of the tall, lanky Indian absolutely cracked me up. While we were having
breakfast, Taequo asked about my trip back and said we might get together
when he got back to Reno, but it would be a couple weeks before he was due
back there.

 I pick up my loaded trailer and headed west. It had been one great
weekend. "You nut," I said to myself, "you could have been having a time
like that ever since you started long hauls," but I knew it wasn't
true. Even if I had gone to all those places, I would not have had the
weekend I had because Taequo would not have been there.

 The next couple weeks I did make an effort to use my downtime to see the
sights and it was a big improvement over motel walls, but it was not like
Atlanta. I caught myself saying, "Taequo would get a kick out of that. I
wonder if Taequo has ever seen that?" I definitely had Taequo on my mind.

 I really found that out over the next layover I had, which was in
Chicago. I spent time at the Field Museum, the Art Institute and saw a lot
of interesting stuff, but it wasn't like it would have been had I been
sharing the experience with Taequo. That got driven home the following week
when I was in Phoenix at the same time as Taequo and had marvelous time.
 I hoped I wasn't too obvious when I asked Taequo about his owning his own
rig and getting a few set runs. My purpose was to find out what his runs
were and to match mine to them as much as possible. I had a clear
understanding of his runs when I left Phoenix and started ending up in the
same city as Taequo when we had a layover if at all possible. After a month
or so spending most of my layovers with Taequo I had to admit that I had
fallen in love. I had a very bad case and knew it.

 I was becoming a basket case because I was in love with Taequo and had no
idea whether or not he was gay. In fact, Taequo was so circumspect that I
had no idea whether he was interested in either men or women. There was no
doubt that Taequo considered me a close friend, but beyond that? I just
didn't know and I certainly wasn't going to give him even a hint of my
feelings. I was not going to risk losing my best friend, a friend who gave
me so much joy. When I was exploring with Taequo, I became a little boy
again in a lot of ways because everything was new and exciting. No, there
was no way I was going to drive Taequo away by telling him I was gay, much
less in love with him.

Taequo and I had made arrangements to meet in St. Louis for dinner since
neither of us had a layover there. I was to pick up Wounded Hawk for the
next segment of his journey on what he called his "official Indian dog and
pony show." Over dinner, I learned both had attended a Halloween party near
Cleveland. Taequo said, "I'm so ugly I didn't have to wear a mask," and
laughed. I may as well make it clear right here that Taequo is not ugly. He
is not pretty handsome, but he is one rugged Indian and his face shows
that. He has the looks of who he is, straight forward, solid, honest,
rugged. He is and looks all male.

 Anyway, we had a leisurely dinner, but as soon as it was over, we were on
our way. When Wounded Hawk and I left St. Louis, he told me about the party
and started talking about Taequo, telling me more about his involvement
with the people at the party. I can't really remember what got me started
talking, but I suddenly realized I had poured out my feelings for Taequo
and my frustration at not knowing how he felt and fear of telling him how I
felt. When I finished, Wounded Hawk didn't say anything one way or the
other, so I dropped the subject.

 At the end of the week, I picked up Wounded Hawk and we headed to Denver
where he was doing a conference on oral literature starting Friday. He
laughed as he told me about the seminar he had just attended. "I sometimes
think it's basically dishonest, but these academic types have everything
figured out and expect me to put the official Indian stamp of approval on
it or beat them up because they are wrong. If I approve, it proves they
have been good to Indians. If I disapprove, they allow themselves to be
beat up to salve their guilt. Fortunately, the whole of the academic world
is basically incestuous so they keep all their stuff to themselves, reading
and criticizing each other. Anyway, I'm doing this conference on oral
literature in Denver. It starts tomorrow evening and runs through
Sunday. After Friday, I have only morning sessions. Think you could be
available Saturday and Sunday afternoon and for a few days afterward? Like
to go Indian camping and you and Taequo qualify as campers."

 "I definitely have the weekend, the first in a couple weeks. I'm not sure
about more days. Will check when I get back to Reno." I dropped Wounded
Hawk in Denver and headed for Reno. I got in late Thursday and when I
talked to the dispatcher, he didn't want to give me any time off after the
weekend. Fortunately, Big Jim, a fellow driver called in asking if he could
get a rig for a week because he had broke down and didn't have one. "Looks
like you have a week if you want to give up your rig for that long," the
dispatcher said after he explained the situation.

 "See you next weekend," I said as I ran for my truck. I went home and
packed for a week's camping, threw my things in the truck and was headed
for Denver when I realized I could drive all night and the next day and
still not be in Denver and I wanted to spend every minute I could with
Wounded Hawk--and if the truth be known--with Taequo. I whipped the truck
around and went back home. I called the airport and got reservations for a
flight to Denver Friday afternoon. I would like to have gone right away,
but there weren't any seats available. Anyway, I would arrived in Denver
hours before I could make it driving and I was really too tired to start
without risking going to sleep at the wheel.

 My flight was at 3:00 in the afternoon Friday. My bags were packed so I
didn't have to worry about that. I arrived at the airport at 1:00, checked
my bags, took the truck to the long term one and ran back to the
terminal. I had called Wounded Hawk the night before and let him know when
I would be arriving. I was on my way and still arriving before I would have
been half way had I driven.

 When my plane arrived, I went to baggage claim, picked up my bags and
started toward the taxi stand to get a cab to Wounded Hawk's hotel when I
heard, "Looking for a ride, Chief?" It was Taequo and without thinking I
grabbed him in a bear hug. He seemed a bit surprised, but gave me a hug
back.

 He had a cab waiting and we were soon in Wounded Hawk's suite. "This is
sure a nice place for an Indian," I joked when I walked in.

 "Maybe for just any Indian," Wounded Hawk laughed and added, "but you need
to remember, I am an official Indian. Welcome, Climbing Bear," he said and
grabbed me in one of his bear hugs. "Let's eat!"

 We went to one of the hotel dining rooms. The young girl assigned to our
table was trying to puzzle out who we were. I had to laugh at her because
all of her questions were stated in the negative. She first asked, "You are
not members of a rock group, are you? Then,"You're not in a movie, are
you?" And we all cracked up when she finally asked, "You are not all
Indians, are you?" Wounded Hawk told her he was the only official Indian,
but Taequo really got her confused by showing her his official BIA card
(Bureau of Indian Affairs which certifies who is and is not an Indian). I
guess if I had been in her shoes and saw these three dudes with long
braids, I would wonder what was going on too. While we were eating, Wounded
Hawk explained his plan. "Tomorrow I have workshops in the morning and
we'll go exploring tomorrow afternoon. Sunday the conference breaks up at
lunch and I think we can find a camping place in the mountains before
dark. We'll establish a camp and just be lazy Indians for the rest of the
week. "

 Saturday afternoon, I noticed Wounded Hawk managed to go explore this or
that, leaving Taequo and me together. I kept hoping Taequo would make a
move, but he didn't. We just talked about what we had been doing, where I
was headed next. For some reason or other, we started talking about where
we'd like to live. He was really enthusiastic when he started talking about
North Carolins and the people he knew there. Since I hadn't seen much of
the state--just a bit from interstate highways, I couldn't comment on it.

 Sometime after mid-afternoon, Wounded Hawk suggested we find a camping
place and set up camp. "You two jokers can spend the night and I'll came
back when I finish the conference. That way we'll be all ready as soon as I
can get back." Fortunately he was driving his four wheel drive truck
because he took us along a mere trail which seemed a highway compared to
the last few miles we traveled before we stopped. About half way between
the last vestige of a road and where we stopped to camp, Taequo said,
"Think we need to call your truck the Enterprise, Wounded Hawk, because it
is obvious we are 'going where no man has ever gone before'." Wounded Hawk
laughed and kept driving. We were below the timberline so there were trees,
but not many and they were pretty rugged looking. Finally Wounded Hawk
pulled into a grove of pines and stopped. "Grab the gear because the
Enterprise has landed."

 We walked couple hundred yards from the truck into the grove. Suddenly we
were on the edge of a small spring-fed stream, which pooled before it
plunged over a cliff two or three hundred feet from the pool. There were no
trees blocking the view from the cliff since the ground ended abruptly at
the cliff's edge. We had a magnificent view from the cliff. The area back
from the cliff was level for about a hundred yards, a perfect place to
pitch our tent.

 We quickly got the tent set up although none of us planned to use it
except in case of bad weather. As soon as the tent was up, Taequo and I
started gathering rocks and preparing a fire pit. Wounded Hawk had gone to
look for pine cones and dead limbs for the fire. He came back just as we
finished the fire pit and dumped a load of pine cones in. "There's plenty
of dead limbs under the pines. If you two will take the axe and buck saw
and get some cut, I'll take the other axe and buck saw and see if I can
find some hardwood." Taequo and I got the axe and saw and went back into
the grove. Wounded Hawk hadn't understated the case. I'm sure the dead
limbs for ten years or more were waiting for us. We set to chopping and
sawing and soon had a pile of wood stacked and ready to be picked up. We
each gathered a load in our arms and walked back to the campsite where
Taequo started fire. Soon it was burning well and since Wounded Hawk had
not returned, so we went back and carried another load of wood to the
campsite. We had just got it stacked when Wounded Hawk came back with
several lengths of hardwood logs. We took them from the truck and Taequo
started sawing them into lengths for the campfire. I went with Wounded Hawk
to pick up the pine Taequo and I had cut.

 By the time we got back, the campfire was a bed of hot coals and Taequo
had started supper. When it was ready, we ate and again confirmed the fact
that food outdoors is always better. When we finished eating, we had
coffee. After a second cup of coffee, Wounded Hawk said, "I best get on my
way. I need to get together a few notes tonight for the session tomorrow
morning. See you guys mid-afternoon."

 After Wounded Hawk left, Taequo and I gathered pine straw, which we spread
and covered with a pad. The straw made a big difference in how comfortable
our sleeping bags would be. After we had finished our preparation for
sleeping, we sat on our sleeping bags across the campfire from each other
and started talking about growing up and how we ended up driving. One thing
lead to another and before we turned in we knew a great deal more about
each other then we had before.

 I guess it was a result of the clear, clean air and altitude, but both
Taequo and I slept until after nine. The campfire had, of course, gone out,
but it only took minutes to get it started. As soon as I could, I got
coffee going and then started breakfast. While I was getting breakfast,
Taequo had gone to the pool below the spring, stripped and washed up. When
he came back, he offered to finish breakfast so I could wash up and I took
him up on the offer.


dWe had breakfast and Taequo suggested we explore the area around us. We
cleaned up from breakfast and then started walking. There were no trails
around, so we just wandered along, pointing out plants to each other. I
found both of us had some knowledge of the values and uses of plants, but
together we just about knew them all. We had been walking for about an hour
when Taequo suddenly put his hand on my shoulder and signaled for me to be
quiet. He sat down on a rock and motioned for me to sit beside him. As soon
as I was settled, he pointed to a clump of bushes. We were sitting
perfectly still, both looking intently at the bushes when slowed they
parted and a doe and her fawn walked out of the clump, looked at us,
decided we were no threat and walked along the way we had come from the
camp. When the two disappeared, Taequo let out a deep breath. I whispered,
"Holding your breath? Me too." We stayed where we were for several minutes,
then got up and continued our journey.

 Wounded Hawk came about two. We had continued our exploration and without
realizing it, were walking parallel to the truck trail. Wounded Hawk
spotted us through the bush, stopped the truck and honked the horn. We
climbed in the truck and Wounded Hawk said, "While we are all here, we can
get some more hardwood." He turned the truck around and drove to a hardwood
grove where the ground was littered with limbs, large and small. There was
only one ax and buck saw in the truck and the two started chopping and
sawing limbs, which I loaded on the truck. They were just cutting them in
lengths I could handle since we could cut them for the fire when we got
back to camp.

 We built up the campfire and buried a dutch over with a pot roast in the
coals and Wounded Hawk prepared biscuits for another dutch over, but those
would go in the coals later. Taequo had made fresh coffee and the three of
us sat talking about the conference Wounded Hawk had finished. "There were
a good number of undergraduates in the group and they keep things stirred
up. They are not afraid to ask questions or to question answers. Puts some
of the older crowd on edge. "

 Sometime later, without mentioning it, the three of us walked to the edge
of the cliff and sat down, watching the sunse, which was spectacular.

 It was getting quite dark when we got up and walked back to the
campfire. Wounded Hawk had put the biscuits in the coals before we went to
watch the sunset and they and the roast were ready when we got back. We all
three ate as if we hadn't had food in a week. Fresh mountain air does that
to you.

 When we had finished supper and clean up from it, we were sitting around
the campfire, silent. I looked up and saw Taequo staring into the campfire
and Wounded Hawk was looking at me. He looked away and continued scratching
on the ground with a stick. He looked up again, first at me then at
Taequo. He threw the stick into the campfire and almost exploded, "Shit! Am
I going to have to do everything for you two knot heads? Taequo, keep you
mouth shut while Climbing tells you something." I looked at Taequo and he
looked as befuddled as I felt. I didn't know what to say. I knew what I
wanted to say, but I was afraid Taequo would tell me to get my fucking
queer Indian ass out of his sight. I really didn't know what to say, so I
just stared into the fire for what seem like ages then suddenly I realize I
was talking and had been talking, telling Taequo I was in love with
him. When I finished, I looked over at Taequo who said nothing. He just
sat, poking the campfire with a stick.

 "Taequo, knot head," Wounded Hawk said, "how dense can any one Indian be?
You heard Climbing Bear, are you going to just sit there like a dumb-assed
Indian?"

 I looked at Taequo again and he was very much a Redman. He was blushing
like a teenager!

 Finally he started talking, telling me he was too old for me, he was too
ugly and there were a lot of young, better looking men out there for me,
all that kind of shit. After he had gone on for five minutes I had enough,
"Taequo, if you are not in love with me or don't want me, just say so and
cut the crap!"

Taequo started with, "That's not what I mean," and started telling me,
again, why he was not good enough for me. To be honest, he thoroughly
pissed me off. I got up, walked over to where Taequo was sitting, pulled
him to his feet and gave him one big, one hundred percent Indian kiss. When
I finally came up for air, I asked, "Now, what was it you were saying?"

Taequo blushed, got a silly grin on his face and said, "I can't seem to
remember." Then the moment which filled my dream many a night became
reality. Taequo took me in to his arms and kissed me, at first a very
gentle kiss, which became increasingly passionate. As he pulled me to
himself I was sure he knew what he was doing to me and I knew I was doing
the same to him as our hardeness's pressed together.

 We finally released each other and still holding hands, sat down together
on Taequo's sleeping bag. Wounded Hawk said, "I think I have done all the
damage I can do here," as he picked up his sleeping bag and pad and tossed
them in to the truck. As he got in to the truck he said, "I'll see you two
love birds in the morning." He started the engine and left the campsite.

 When he was gone, I looked at Taequo, smiled, put my hands on the side of
his head and kissed him gently, but before I knew it, we both were far from
being gentle! Our kisses became passionate with a lot of tongue
play. Taequo lay back on his sleeping bag and pulled me on top of him. I
practically ripped his shirt off and unbuttoned his jeans. I wanted to see
the man I had grown to love more and more, I wanted to see all of him in
his natural beauty. I was hot and ready to love Taequo.

 As I kissed and tongued his nipples, Taequo unbuttoned my shirt and pulled
it from my body. He unbuttoned my jeans and slid them and my briefss down
my legs. He lifted my head and pressed his lips to mine, then he ran his
hands down my body. I was really hot as my tongue kept exploring Taequo's
mouth, then his hand moved over my ass and a finger traced my crack and my
body went rigid as an image of my experience in jail flashed through my
mind. I froze and then I started crying, weeping and clutching Taequo to
myself. Taequo must have been very confused, but he didn't show it. Rather,
he just started comforting me, holding me close, stroking the back of my
neck. I buried my face in the crook of his neck and I cried and cried. I
wanted Taequo more than anything and I had wanted him for what seemed like
years and when he was ready to give himself to me, I came completely
unglued. As if I feared he would leave me, I was clutching Taequo to myself
with a death grip. Gradually I regain control. I raised my head, looked
into Taequo's eyes, which were filled with pain, and I kissed him very
softy. I then whispered, "Taequo, I love you, I love you more than my own
life. I will always remember you just holding me when you must have thought
I was crazy." I lay beside Taequo and told him why I had gone goofy. As I
spoke, Taequo looked into my eyes and stroked my cheek, my hair, the back
of my neck. As I continued to talk, his eyes never left mine except when he
kissed my face gently from time to time.

 When I had finally rundown, Taequo kissed me, got up, got my sleeping bag,
zipped it together with his and held it open for me to crawl in. When I was
inside, I smiled up at Taequo and he slipped in the sleeping bag with me. I
wrapped my arms around my love and kissed him--gently and then more
passionately. We were both very hot. "Taequo, I...."

 "Climbing Bear, I can wait. I have waited for a very long time."

 "Taequo, I don't want you to wait. I want our partnership to be sealed
tonight."

Taequo was so gentle, so easy, so caring as I gave myself to him, wholly,
completely. When we lay in each others arms as having made wonderful love,
I whispered to my man, "Taequo, until death do us part."

 He answered, "Until death do us part."

 Nestled in Taequo's arms, I drifted off to sleep.

 The sun woke me up and as I opened my eyes, I saw Taequo bending over me,
a smile on his face. "Good morning, Climbing Bear." He leaned over far
enough for me to wrap my arms around him for a good morning
kiss. Unfortunately, he leaned over too far and fell on top of me. I saw no
reason not to take advantage of the situation and I did. After we had made
love, Taequo said, "That's the kind of good morning I want every morning."

 I finally go out of the sleeping bag, washed up in the pool and got
dressed. When I got back, Taequo handed me a cup of coffee and gave me a
long, slow, great kiss.

Taequo and I set to work getting breakfast and we had it ready when we
heard Wounded Hawk's truck. It was obvious he was well back from the
campsite when he blew his horn. Taequo and I were both laughing as Wounded
Hawk came closer, blew his horn and repeated the action twice before he
drove up. He got out of the truck and walked to the campfire. He had a huge
grin on his face when he asked, "Did I give the honeymoon couple warning
enough?"

 "More than enough," I laughed.

 After breakfast, we sat around drinking coffee and just generally enjoying
being together, even if it was a threesome. After lunch Wounded Hawk asked
if we'd like to go exploring and soon we were bouncing along a non-existent
road. Finally Wounded Hawk stopped and we got out of the truck and started
hiking. An hour later he said, "I hope you find this worth the hike." We
rounded a turn and before us was a magnificent vista. Across the narrow
valley was a waterfall, plunging over the edge of a cliff. The scene was
breathtaking. Taequo and I stood, arm in arm, silent before the scene laid
out in front of us. Finally, Taequo sat down on a boulder and pulled me
into his lap. He rested his chin on my shoulder and whispered, "Climbing
Bear, I love you." I swear when he said those words my heart skipped a
beat.

 I turned my head so I could see him and said, "And I love you, Taequo."

 Wounded Hawk finally sat down on the boulder beside us and asked, "Now
that you two have finally gotten together, what of the future?"

 "I'm so wrapped up in the present that I can't think about the future," I
answered.

 "Same here" Taequo added.

 "Well, I guess that's to be expected, but tomorrow is the end of the
honeymoon. Climbing Bear is expected back in Reno and you will be in
Denver. He will go his way and you will go yours. I suppose that kind of
life can be lived and be happy, but I sure as hell wouldn't like it. I
happen to know for a fact Climbing Bear has bent all sorts of things so the
two of you would be in the same city as often as possible. Unless you make
some dramatic changes, you'll be together no more than you have
been. Climbing Bear should have been at the Halloween party and while the
two of you hadn't gotten over being afraid of each other, he still should
have been there. We are expected in North Carolina for Thanksgiving. How
often do you go to North Carolina, Climbing Bear?"

 "Maybe three, four times a year and then it's just passing through."

 "Point made," Wounded Hawk said.

 "What are our options? I can't quit work,' I said. "I have to make a
living."

 "But do you have to drive for the same company?" Wounded Hawk asked.

 "Of course not, but a different company wouldn't make that much
difference."

 "So what's to be done? You two need to think about that."

 That was a very good way to make present pleasures seem very fleeting. I
didn't see a solution and neither did Taequo. We finally dropped the
subject.

 When we got back to the campsite, it was time to prepare supper. Wounded
Hawk said he'd take care of that and the two of us could go watch the
sunset.

 Man, it was a very different sunset from yesterday's because I was sitting
between Taequo's legs and he had his arms around me, again resting his chin
on my shoulder. We had nothing to say because nothing needed to be said. We
were together and that said it all.

 As we sat, Taequo started unbraiding my hair and soon it was all loose and
blowing in the slight breeze coming up from the valley below. I seldom wore
my hair loose, but it was a great feeling to have it loose and blowing in
the wind.

 When Wounded Hawk called us to supper, we got up reluctantly and walked
back to the campfire, which felt good as there was a chill in the air after
the sun had gone down.

 We were eating supper when suddenly Taequo started laughing. He finally
was able to tell us what was funny to him. "I was thinking of Chris and
Al. They are in for a real surprise when Climbing Bear and I show up
together."

 "Just how sure are you of that?" I asked. "I am not at all sure that they
haven't been doing their best to make it happen. After all, they introduced
us."

 "You're right come to thank of it. They have been on my case for a long
time, telling me that living and driving alone was for the birds. They were
right too."

 "Taequo, do you realize what you just said? You said something about
living and driving alone. They don't do that, so why are we thinking about
driving alone?" I asked.

Taequo hit himself on the forehead and said, "Wounded Hawk, you called me a
knot head last night and damned if I don't think you are right. There is no
reason why Climbing Bear and I can't team drive. I own my rig so that's not
a decision I have to have from the company. So long as I get the deliveries
made, they don't get a flat-assed damn how it gets done."

 "Just one problem with that, Taequo. I don't have the money to pay for
half the rig."

 "Who says you need money? The rig is mine. I paid for it. It is free and
clear."

 "But that's just it. It's your rig that you paid for. If we are going to
team drive, I need to pay half."

 "Climbing Bear, we need to get one thing straight right now or it will
catch us off guard and bite us in the ass. We are either in this together
or we are not. I have a rig, we need a rig. I'm sure you have saved some
money. We need a house, you have a down payment. I am not going into this
partnership with an accountant's mind. I thought we agreed to share our
lives until death do us part and that means sharing all we have. Do you
have a problem with that?"

 "Now that you put it that way, I don't."

 "Then it's settled. When we get back, you can turn in your rig and quit. I
won't have to do anything since, as I said, all that is required of me is
delivery on time. You can fly back to Reno, get squared away and drive back
to Denver and I'll pick you up next week."

 "Just a little side comment here," Wounded Hawk said. "You need to
remember the importance of talking things through. Relationships,
partnerships require work, but, man, think of the return."

 I flew back to Reno, resigned from my job, packed what I needed and could
take, sold the rest, got out of the lease on the house and headed east to
Denver. Waiting for me there was my great happiness, Taequo. He had already
said we were spending Thanksgiving in North Carolina with a bunch of people
I was dying to meet, not only because of all Taequo and Wounded Hawk had
told me about them, but also because they had to be great for those two
Indians to praise them as they did. Taequo had even suggested we might look
for a house in North Carolina.

 A few weeks later I found myself in North Carolina, sleeping in what had
to be a sacred place after having met one of the most remarkable bunch of
people I had ever know. The following morning I woke up and realized I was
not alone in my sleeping bag. I was still getting use to the wonderful
feeling of waking up with Taequo beside me. "Yes," I thought, "You may not
be the prettiest Indian in the world, but you are the most beautiful
creature in my world. Yea, Taequo, you have given me life and love and,
damn, I sure needed both. I leaned over, kissed Taequo softly and saw his
dark eyes open and a smile spread across his face and my world was
complete.