Date: Wed, 31 Jan 2007 18:55:11 -0800 (PST)
From: brittany martinez <you_r_always_in_my_heart_rmw@yahoo.com>
Subject: Dealing With It


                                Dealing with it

                                  Chapter one



    The sound of distant cries woke me up. I slowly sit up in bed and glance
      at the alarm clock on the bed side dresser; two o'clock.  Great, I
      think as I pull myself out of bed, I've gotten three whole hours of
     sleep and I'm not exactly thrilled about it. I walk down the hall to
    the bedroom at the end of the hall and walk in, flicking on the light. I
     roll my eyes as I walk over to the crib and pick the baby up. "Shhh...
     its okay little guy. I gotcha." I whisper rubbing his back trying to
    calm him down. He lays his head down on my shoulder, slowly tangling his
      fingers in the long hair on the back of my neck. Once he was calm, I
    walk around the room trying to get him to go back to sleep.  As soon as
           I lay him down in the crib I hear my dad in the door way.


"He asleep?" he ask as I cover Wyatt with his blanket and turn to look
at my father who's standing in the doorway in shorts and a tank top.

"Yeah, he is." I answer yawning as I step away from the crib.

"That's the third time he's woken up tonight." He says as he tugs at
his shirt and glances at the crib.

"I know." I say getting a little irritated. "It'd be nice if you'd
help a bit with him." I look down at the yellow teddy bear carpet on the
floor.

"He's your son, your responsibility."

"Whatever." I say rolling my eyes as I brush past him, a bit pissed off
because my dad's an ass and its way too damn early to fight with him.

"Where you going?" he asks as I reach for my bedroom door.

I turn to look at him as I push the door open. "Back to bed, I have
class tomorrow." I answer closing the door behind me as I disappear into
my room. I lie back in bed pulling the blanket up over my head and try to
fall asleep... Unfortunatly for some reason I can't bring myself to clear
my head, which really isn't anything new. I turn over on to my side and
stare at the glowing numbers on the alarm clock; it amazes me how easily
someone's life can change without them having any control over it... like
me. I never would have guessed that I, at the age of 19 would have
fifteen month of son and a boyfriend. Of course, me having a boyfriend
made my dad flip out a little more than me having a child. But it was
something that he had to learn to accept if you wanted to have any part
in his grandson's life. I know that I've made a lot of mistakes in my
life -- but Wyatt isn't one of them. Now, before we get too far ahead,
let's start from the beginning... two and a half years ago.

                               ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


August 18, 2005

The end of summer vacation was approaching; the days were starting to get
shorter, cooler. Most of the summer I had spent staying at my girlfriend
Audrey's place, since she lives with her older brother he never really
mind me being there. I lay in bed with Audrey, my head in her lap as she
ran her fingers through my hair. "Riley.... I'm pregnant." She whispers
softly looking down into my eyes. I look at her, a bit in shock.

"What?" I say without thinking as I sit up, I can feel my heart
pounding in my chest.

"I'm pregnant." She says again, this time smiling as she tucks back
her brown hair.

I have no idea how to react, I had planned to come to her house to break
things off with her but how could I possibly do such a thing now? "I...
is it mine?" I ask, I'm not sure why, there's no way Audrey would ever
cheat on me but it just came out.

She looks at me in disbelief. "Of course it's yours." She stands up
and I can tell she's upset. "Why would you think it wasn't?"

"I- I'm sorry, it just slipped out." I answer burring my head in my
hands. "Um...What are we -- you going to do?"

She looks at me and places her hand on her stomach. "I'm going to keep
it. I mean -- it's our child Riley."

I take a deep breath; I cannot believe I'm going to do this. "Audrey,
there's something I think I should tell you..." I say nervously biting
into one of my finger nails.

She walks slowly over to me and pulls my hand away from my mouth. "Honey
don't bite your nails." She says softly sitting beside me. "What is
it?"

I take another deep breath and look into her eyes. "Um..." I can feel my
palms starting to sweat. "For the past few months... I've sorta been
seeing somebody." I flinch slightly, afraid of how she'll react.

She takes a deep breath then stands up. "I suspected so..." she says
softly as she walks over to her dresser and turns to look at me. "Who?"

I look at her and bite into another nail. "Um.... Noah...." I say trying
to swallow the lump in my throat.

She looks at me again; tears begin to collect in the rims of her eyes.
"As in your best friend Noah?" she asks trying to sound calm.

I stand up and dig my toe into my shoe. "Yes..." I whisper under my
breath.

Tears start to roll down her cheeks. "How could you Riley -- with a
guy?" she asks me as she turns away from me.

I let out a heavy sigh and walk towards her. "You knew when we got
together that I was bi so don't act like it's a shock."

"I just... I never thought you'd actually cheat on me." She says as she
looks at me and then down at the floor.

I let out a sigh. "I didn't cheat on you, nothing happened between Noah
and I." I answer as I reach for her but she pushes me away.

"Then what the fuck are you trying to say?"

I slowly look at her as I place my hands in my pockets. "I... I was going
to leave you... for him... that's why nothing happened between us because
we felt it wouldn't be fair to you." I answer looking into her brown
eyes.

"Is that suppose to makes things better Riley?" She snaps. "So what
now? I'm pregnant with your child and you're just going to leave me
now?"

"I didn't say that." I shout slowly beginning to lose my temper.

She slams her fists down on to the dresser. "Leave! I don't want to
talk to you right now. Just... Leave!" she screams bursting into tears.

I know better then to fight with her, so I grab my sweater and leave the
house. I don't know what I should do, I know I can't just abandon her;
after all she is pregnant with my kid... So.... What do I do?


            A/N - Well thats it for now tell me what you think okay?

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When The People We Love Are Taken From Us, The Way To Have Them Live On
Is To Never Stop Loving Them... Buildings Burn, People Die... But Real
Love Is Forever... -The Crow