Date: Tue, 27 Apr 1999 23:34:22 +0900
From: Andrej Koymasky <andrejkoymasky@geocities.com>
Subject: Dear Eugenio 12

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DEAR EUGENIO
by Andrej Koymasky (C) 1999
written on April 30th 1991
translated by the author
English text kindly revised
by Paul

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USUAL DISCLAIMER

"DEAR EUGENIO" is a gay story, with some parts containing graphic scenes
of sex between males. So, if in your land, religion, family, opinion and
so on this is not good for you, it will be better not to read this
story. But if you really want, or because YOU don't care, or because you
think you really want to read it, please be my welcomed guest.

-----------------------------

TWELVE

"So, I must come to live with you?" were your first words. I remember
you saying with a sarcastic tone.

"No, you don't HAVE to, but you can if you wish. Only if you feel like
giving us a try." Max corrected you, seriously.

"And why would you want to have me with you? Tell me!"

"Because the judge has asked us, and also because we would like to have
a boy at home." Max said.

"But you two... what are you, brothers?"

"No, Max and I live together because we love each other. We are a gay
couple."

I remember I had to make an effort not to burst in laughter after seeing
the face you made at my statement.

"You are... faggots? You are two faggots!"

"If you prefer that term, yes, Edoardo and I are really two faggots...
and happy to be so."

You shook your head and looked at us frowning. Then you smiled rather
cunningly and declared, as one who understood at last something odd:
"Ha... so then you want to fuck me!"

"No, you are wrong. Edoardo and I are in love with each other. We don't
need anybody else. But if you have prejudices against gays..."

"Bah! Me too, I'm a faggot from head to toe. It's not for that... But I
bet the judge doesn't suspect a bit about you two... right?"

"On the contrary. He knows perfectly well." Max told you.

The ice was broken. You were still diffident, but we talked. You were,
more than anything, sounding us out and evaluating us. After that first
encounter, we came again to see you a couple of times.

The last time, for sure you remember. Max told you: "If you feel like
coming to live with us, we would be really happy. But it is for you to
decide. We wouldn't like you running away from us!"

"I promise you nothing at all. Anyway... I think we could give it a
try... if you really feel like it." you said.

"Why did you run away, I mean, the last time?"

"Why? Because those turds didn't want me to fuck with other boys. He and
his wife controlled me. Once, when I was sure they were out, I took home
a friend of mine. We were fucking like two rabbits, and the 'turd'
suddenly was back home and caught us. He threw my friend out, and as
punishment, he buggered me! To punish me? Naaah, it's that he liked it
the old swine, and he found the right pretext for doing it. Afterwards,
as soon as the 'she-turd' went out, he would come on to me and want to
fuck my ass again. So, I scarpered. When the police nicked me, I told
them that I preferred to be here in the reformatory. It's a thousand
times better"

"But... didn't you think to report him?" I asked you.

"Report him? To whom? When I told his wife, she just filled me with
cuffs and didn't believe me - 'my husband is a saint, you are the devil'
she was yelling like a fury... that's when I ran away."

"You could have reported him to the judge...still could" I said.

"Noooo! Useless! For spite, I have accused I don't know how many wardens
to have buggered me. They don't believe me any more. The only one here,
who gave me some affection, they have fucked him... just to say. They
put him in jail for Gross Indecency with a minor! But he loved me, and I
loved him... and they took him away from me..."

"All right, Eugenio. The past is the past. We would like to have you
with us. But you have to promise Max and me just one thing - if you
don't feel happy with us, you have to tell us, and not just run away. We
will try to solve the problem, and also, eventually, to find you a
better setting. We don't want you to come back here. Are you game?"

You looked at us with those hard eyes, almost trying to read inside our
souls. Then you sketched a kind of forced smile: "In here is not so bad.
At times I can also have a good fuck with one of my mates. Anyway... all
right. I can even try, with you. You seem two... nice guys...or gays,
Ha! Ha!"

So Ottavio made the order and finally we came to take you home.

Do you remember the grimace you had when, after showing you the
apartment, where we had just entered and we had just settled, we took
you into your bedroom where there was just a mattress on the floor and
nothing more? Not even a lampshade or curtains for the windows, nor even
paint on the walls?

"What's this? It's worse than that my 'cell' at the reformatory! There
was at least a bed, a chair and a night table. What fucking joke is
this? Am I presumed to live in here?" you said, angrily.

We laughed and explained that it was that way because, on that same day
we were going to take you shopping, so that you could choose what you
wanted - the wall paper, curtains, furniture, bed linen, carpets,
lampshade and so on. We wanted your room to be really yours, to your
liking and not to ours. It made me great tenderness to see on your face
passe feelings of embarrassment, disbelief and happiness, when you
realised. And your amazed expression every time, at your choices, when
we just said 'all right' and bought what you chose. Also the wall to
wall poster with the wood picture to cover the whole wall on the right
of your bed.

That first night we asked if you preferred to sleep on the couch in the
living room or the mattress in your own room. You chose to sleep on the
mattress, alone in that room, empty but yours. A few days after, we went
to buy what was still outstanding, and a new wardrobe. Once gain, we
bought all you chose, as you liked. You can't imagine the joy we felt
seeing you, starting gradually to open up and smile. Not so often, not
so much, but for us it was like seeing the sun rise.

Then, how can one not remember that night, about a week later, when you
appeared in front of us, stark naked, in our bedroom: "If you want to
have sex with me, it's all right, I am game." you said rather seriously.

"No, Eugenio, we told you, it's not for that we had you come to live
here with us. Go back to your bed..." Max said.

"But I... my body is all that I can offer in exchange for all you are
doing for me. And I'll willingly give it to you, I like you two."

"No, my boy. In exchange, if you can, we would like something a lot more
precious - your friendship." Max told you.

"I see, I'm not your type..." you hesitantly concluded.

"You are a really handsome boy, I like you very much. It is the first
time I have seen you naked, and you are really well shaped and
seductive, even sexy. And you are lot more ripe, physically, than your
age. If I didn't have Max, I think I would like very much having you in
my bed. I think I can say the same for Max. But I have him and he has
me. We need nobody else."

You lowered your head and went back to your room. What you don't know
and we never told you before, is that the vision of your naked body
aroused us very much - you really were beautiful and desirable, with
your half erection insolently showing between your legs.

Next morning you apologized, ashamedly. We embraced you. You made us
feel much tenderness. In less than a month your room was completely
finished and we had gotten to know each other a little better. You were
opening up to us little by little, and we liked you more and more.

You were not so good at school, as I am sure you remember, so I started
to study with you. Around the end of May, or the first days of June, I
don't remember exactly, but it was just a little before the school end,
while we were studying, you embraced me and asked me to make love with
you. I swear that, in spite of the appearances, you were tempting me
very much and I had difficulty in refusing you. I felt you were aroused,
and I was too, and not just a little. I had almost to pin you down to
make you stop.

When at last you gave up, you pleaded with me: "Please, Edoardo, don't
tell Max... I swear I'll try never again..."

"But I have to tell Max, Eugenio. I've never had any secrets from him,
we love each other too much."

You became red like embers and said: "But... but he... he will no more
have me here with you, now..."

"No way, what an idea! He loves you. He will understand and nothing will
change, you'll see."

"He... he loves me?"

"Sure! And I too love you, Eugenio. We love you very much."

"Aren't you mad at me?"

"But no, my dear boy, not at all. We love you, never forget that."

You again blushed and sat down, your head lowered. I caressed your hair.

After a while, you told me: "Then... then I prefer it to be me to tell
him."

"All right, Eugenio, as you like."

That same evening, as soon as Max came home, you told him you had to
talk to him and when I stood up to leave you alone, you asked me to
stay. I admired you for the way you faced, in a direct, clear and honest
way, the problem, not withstanding that it was clear that it required a
big effort.

"Max, this afternoon I tried to seduce Edoardo. He literally had to
immobilize me to force me to stop. I was really determined to make love
with him. And, honestly, I feel also a great yen for doing it with you
too, Max. You two are very beautiful, and it is not just that. I spend
more time with Edoardo, alone, therefore I tried it with him first. I
have been jacking off for months, dreaming about making love with you or
with him... or with you both. But now I regret having tried... even
if... even if it was him to stop me, I would have done it, I wanted to
do it. I'm really sorry, Max, I didn't want to hurt you, and neither
Edo. Therefore... if you want to punish me, you have all the reasons in
this world for doing so. I deserve it. Punish me but... don't send me
away, please?"

Max listened to you quietly, as I expected: "Eugenio, nobody intends to
send you away, nor to punish you. You felt the yen, and you tried - if
one doesn't try, one doesn't know... Unhappily for you, you didn't
succeed. That's all."

"Aren't you mad at me, Max?" you asked unbelievingly.

"No, what wrong did you do?"

"But I tried it on with your man!"

"Eugenio, answer my question sincerely - did you try it on with Edoardo
because you wanted him, or because you needed to make love because you
are fed up doing... by yourself?"

"Half and half, possibly. But I fucking like you and Edo. Also your
bodies, I mean."

"And therefore, you wanted to take Edoardo away from me?"

"What? No, not at all! I didn't ever think of that! Oh Christ, I
wouldn't be the one to create problems between you two! Oh Christ...
Christ..." and your eyes filled with tears and looked at us completely
lost at the idea.

"I believe you, Eugenio, I believe you." Max said, gently smiling with
affection.

Then I asked you: "But, don't you have a friend with whom to make love?"

"No, nobody..."

"But when you were at the last family's, you told us, you took home some
friends from time to time..."

"That was different. I went cruising in the bogs and took the first one
who was game and who was not too ugly or too old, and took him to the
place of these two turds to fuck. Also to spite them. They wanted to
make me become... normal, straight, so I did those 'filthy' things right
in their bed, you see?  But the people I found, were not really friends
in the true sense of the word, on the contrary, they were mainly
strangers. I would never bring anyone like that here to your home, I
would never do such a thing!"

"Eugenio, this is also your home. You can bring here whomever you wish,
without any problem." Max told you.

"No joke?"

"Sure! We thought that was clear. Of course, we would prefer you to
bring a friend more than a stranger, but we trust your judgement."

"You mean that... that if I have a friend... I can also take him into my
room and... and do it with him?" you asked, your eyes wide, prey of an
unutterable amazement.

"Certainly yes. Max and I make love in our room, right? So, why not
you!"

"Yes, sure, but..."

"But this is also your home." Max insisted.

"But I can't just bring anybody here, it wouldn't be right..."

"It is up to you to decide who is right to bring here, or not. If he is
a guy you just met... you see, you decide. But if he is a real friend,
we would also be glad to meet him, to know him..."

"Really Max? Edo? You mean I can do as I want... as I like?"

"Of course. I just hope they are good, constructive things, useful to
you and to your life. But you must be careful about venereal diseases.
You know that there are real risks, don't you? Anyway, if you have any
problems, any at all, always remember that you can tell us, count on us.
We would like to really be a family... a real one."

You looked at us with... luminous eyes. Then, with a delicious air, half
way between shyness and affection, you asked us: "May I... may I embrace
you?"

Later we told you about venereal diseases; how one can get them and how
to avoid them. We also gave you some condoms and a lubricating gel
bottle, asking you to always have them with you and to be sure to have
enough, both for yours and your partner's safety.

That evening, surely you remember, was really important for the three of
us. It, in fact marked an important change in our relationship, because
we really started to become a family. And if we needed proof of that,
you gave it to us the following year, when you were in the second year
of high school, and you introduced us to that friend, your schoolmate
with whom you had that short relationship, I cannot remember his name.

You introduced us to him, saying with a real pride: "Here, they are my
two dads, Massimiliano and Edoardo!"

I also remember very well when you were with Daniele. It was '86, do you
remember?  You were sixteen and he was eighteen. You met at the movies.
You were in love with him, or better to say, you became infatuated. But
he just wanted to have sex with you, he didn't love you. Do you remember
how mad you got with me when I told you that in my opinion he didn't
deserve you? But Daniele was skilled and deceived you for several
months. He was also very sensual and from what I could guess, he knew
how to make love with you and make you lose your head.

Max and I were worried for you. But as we decided to behave, after
telling you just once but clearly our opinion about what we thought, we
didn't insist any more. We didn't want to become obsessive parents. At
the end you, by yourself, understood that unhappily we were right about
Daniele and decided to split in spite it cost you too much.

We were really worrying about you, about your big disappointment. We
were afraid you would become diffident, cynical... You took it really
badly. We wanted to talk about it and to try to raise your morale, but
if it was not you to start that speech, we couldn't but be near you and
try to make you feel all our affection. It cost us very much not to
raise the subject and just wait, and see your suffering. But, thank
heaven, you were able to overcome that first, big disappointment.

It was during that period we discovered that you were fascinated by the
piano, so we bought you one and started sending you to lessons as you
requested. I think you agree it was really a good idea, wasn't it? Not
only because we discovered that you have a real talent for the piano,
but also for... what you know! Certainly, at the beginning, to us the
piano was just a nice hobby and a means to divert you. We didn't even
think about the miraculous improvements and the level you reached in
just five years, when talented people are not at your level, even after
ten years of studies at the Music Academy! Anyway, for sure, the piano
was not the only one talent we found in you.

Already after three years of being with us, Ottavio found you to be
remarkably matured, serene and, we have to add, full of affection. You
see, we never told you this clearly, even if we think we did show it to
you and you understood, but for real, if Max and I could have had a son
generated by us, we couldn't ever have dreamed of a better one than you.

And this is true, including what happened in 1987, a little after your
seventeenth birthday. No, I'm not talking about that time we caught you
in bed with Renzo and Marco, even if at first seeing these two taking
you at once from back and front, I have to admit, did shake me a little.
After all, you were three adults (you have always shown maturity above
your real age) and if it was good for you three, I didn't have the
slightest right to object. In fact we said nothing, even if that day you
were somewhat embarrassed with Max and I.

At the time, we didn't feel like talking about it, didn't say anything.
Perhaps it would have been better if we had, at least you would have
known that neither Max nor I were judging you for that little...
domestic orgy. I think that sexual intercourse, be it beautiful and
right or not, should remain a private matter. We need not be ashamed,
sure, but it should be something we do not perform in front of others,
be they friends or strangers. At least, I see that in this way.

What I was referring to, as you may have guessed, is your time with
Piero. You see, what at that time made us react so sharply with you was
to discover that you were blackmailing him not to be left by him. In
other words that you, who so well knew what it means not to be free, as
you experienced it for a large part of your life, wanted to deny the
freedom of another person.

At first yours seemed a common love story between two boys of the same
age. We also liked very much the way you met on a trip, how you
discovered each other, how you decided to become a couple. Do you
remember the discussion we had? All three of us together? We tried to
make you understand that if Piero's family didn't know he was gay, and
he didn't want them to know, it was because he knew his parents'
mentality and judged that telling them was not the right thing to do. Be
he right or not, you had to respect him and therefore his choices?

We thought we had persuaded you, at least at first. It appeared that
everything between you was fine. However, after the summer we noticed
that your relationship was changing, and it was the fact that you
insisted to us that everything was all right between you that made us
suspect something was wrong. It was more and more evident that Piero
appeared to be coming to see you almost unwillingly, and that you had
developed towards him an attitude we didn't like too much... a rather
possessive attitude, almost like... a master and a slave.

Once I tried to talk to Piero, but the boy, with an air that only
succeeded in making my suspicions more justified, told me that
everything was working perfectly between you two...

Another thing you still don't know was how we discovered that you were
blackmailing Piero by forcing him to continue to go to bed with you,
even after he discovered he was no more attracted by you. You threatened
to show his parents the love letters he had written, and the pictures
you took with the Polaroid in poses... unequivocal and compromising.
Something that Max nor I would ever have done, was spy on you or search
amongst your things. Even after we found out, we didn't ever consider
doing that. But one evening, you argued a little too loudly and we heard
you in our room. It was loud enough for us to understand some of what
you said, anyway.

In particular, and I quote "...what I want... or else I'll blurt out
everything to your parents...You know I will..." Unquote.

Two and two makes four, my dear Eugenio. We understood at once. It also
served to confirm our previous suspicions that there was something wrong
with the relationship. We understood what was likely happening, those
snippets were like a catalyzer that made all the pieces of the puzzle
fit into place, and made us understand something we already knew, but
didn't know how to interpret.

The following day, we decided to wait for Piero out of the school. We
invited him out and drove to the riverbank, the Murazzi, where we could
talk in privacy. We asked him what was happening between you. At first
he refused to answer us, he simply didn't want to talk about it.

But when Max told him: "Piero, you have to trust us. We feel that you
want to split from Eugenio, but he doesn't want to lose you, and is
blackmailing you. Is that right?"

Piero then capitulated and told us everything. I was furious and, at
least in this case, we both have to be thankful that Max was there with
his balance and magnanimity. He took the matter into his hands and
assured Piero that nothing bad was going to happen to him and not to
worry. He assured him that you would leave him alone. Then we drove him
home. He was very relieved, I can tell you. We went back home and waited
for you.

Max had to calm me down and make me reflect that your claim to keep
Piero bound to you by any means, was possibly more derived by your fear
of being alone again other than by any outward wickedness. Now I agree
with him, as I know you are not a wicked person, and also because I know
that you told Giorgio this fact. But then, I swear, I felt terribly
wounded, disappointed, terribly sad for what you were doing to poor
Piero.

Max asked me a question. He was referring to you: "So, you don't love
him any more?"

"Sure I love him... that's why I'm bloody furious!"

"If you really love him, you must try to calm down and face this problem
in the right way. Not in a way driven by anger and disappointment. That
will only compound matters. He did wrong - we must not reject him, but
help him to understand that wrong. Now he needs us more then ever, don't
you agree?"

"You are right, Max. But it would be better if you dealt with this
matter. I'm too choked up."

"All right, willingly, but with you must be at my side in support. We
both have to address and help him, not just me..."

You came back home and Max faced you with those famous words: "Eugenio,
now you will hand me all Piero's letters and all the pics that he
appears in."

You understood immediately, or almost. We knew everything and you
shouted at us furiously. Your face became redder with rage: "You said
you'd never interfere in my life or nose into my things, and instead
you've been spying on me!"

"If we nosed in your things, we would not be asking you to produce them.
We would have just taken them. Bring the letters and pictures to us
immediately, all of them."

"And if I say no?" you asked with a challenging air, then started to
cry, I think with rage at least at that moment, even if according to Max
it was because of your feeling of shame.

"Eugenio, we really love you, very much. Therefore we have to ask you to
make a choice. If you love and trust us, hand over those letters and
pics, and we can set everything straight, or, if you don't love us,
then... ask yourself if there is still a reason for us to live together.
We don't want to lose you... you are our son, now, anything could
happen..."

You went to get the letters and pictures and handed them to Max, without
even looking him into his eyes.

"These are all of them?" Max asked you.

"If you want, go and search my room!" you shouted starting to sob.

"No, I want to trust you. Do you promise me that you will never again
try to see Piero, and that you will not do anything against him?"

"Fuck you!" you yelled and went and shut yourself in your room.

Max was really shaken and that night he cried. The only other time I had
seen him cry in the many years we have lived together, had been when the
duchess died. I too was terribly sad, and didn't know how to console
him, how to help him.

After a while, remembering how he succeeded in partly calming me down, I
asked him: "Do you love Eugenio?"

"Why do you ask me? Sure I love him, or else I wouldn't feel so bad."

"Like before?"

"More so. If he did wrong, it means we were not able to be near him
enough..."

"No, we have made some mistakes, but we have done our best."

I think that Max interpreted my words as a kind of... renouncement of
you. He seized my hands and asked me, in an alarmed tone: "But you too
love him, don't you? You still love him, don't you?"

"Yes, Max. If my natural son did something like that, I'd continue to
love him. And he IS our son."

He nodded, embraced and kissed me. These words made him feel better and
I, too. We talked for a long time about how we were going to talk with
you, whether we had to tell you something or not, how to make you aware
of the gravity of your behaviour. About what you did not only to Piero,
but also, and above all, to yourself. We were still confused and under
stress when we fell asleep. We couldn't reach a decision.

The following morning, Max went to your room. I thought about going with
him but, I must confess, I remained in the corridor as I still felt
still too upset with you and was afraid to speak in a negative way.

"Eugenio, I have come to apologize for last night. What I did was right,
but the way in which I did it was wrong, I was too hard and cold with
you."

You see, in these words there is all of my Max. Your answer lightened my
heart.

"No, it's for me to beg forgiveness... to you and Edoardo... and to
Piero. I don't know what happened to me. I don't deserve to stay here, I
don't deserve your love... I don't..."

"Eugenio, we love you. You too love us, don't you?"

"Yes! Yes! Yes! I owe everything to you, you are more than a family to
me, but I have spoiled it all, everything!"

"No, Eugenio, nothing has happened that is beyond repair, thank heaven!
Nothing has changed."

"You mean, I'm still... I'm all the same... your son?"

"For ever, Eugenio. Nothing could ever happen to change that. Forever."

Then Max called me and I too came to your room. We embraced. Yes, we
really love you as you are, including this bad episode.

1988 was an important year. You came of age, met Giorgio and passed the
final exams at high school with good marks.

Do you remember Max's face when, at your birthday party, you asked if,
now that the custody period was over, you could remain with us?

"This is your home and you are our son. You can remain here as long as
you want, forever if you wish, I thought that was clear..."

"All right, sorry, I won't ask such questions any more..."

"Good, I really hope you don't." I said with a smile.

Another thing I remember about your birthday party is what you said to
Ottavio.

"Sir! Judge! (you never were able to treat him with informality, to this
day), I always felt respect and embarrassment towards you. Rather, one
time I really didn't like you, I must confess. But today I have to tell
you that I don't know how to show my gratitude for having been placed in
the care of Max and Edoardo. By doing so, you really made me... feel
born again. I really don't know how to thank you."

"Eugenio, your best thanks to me as a judge, is your happiness and the
full success of this custody. Your best thanks for me as a person, will
be if you could relax a little and see your way clear to calling me by
my first name, like a friend."

"Do you want me as a friend, even after knowing all about me?"

"Certainly yes, I tried to be your friend when you were a little
nuisance... So, much more now."

"Thank you... Ottavio. At times one finds friends and is not even aware
of his luck!"

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CONTINUES IN PART 13

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In my home page I've put some of my stories. If someone wants to read
them, the URL is

http://www.geocities.com/~andrejkoymasky/

If you want to send me feed-back, please e-mail at

andrejkoymasky@geocities.com

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