Date: Sun, 14 Oct 2001 14:06:20 -0700 (PDT)
From: L H <tendermidnight@yahoo.com>
Subject: "Desperately Wanting" (pt 1)

Note: I need to bring this to a more conclusive
ending. Comments/suggestions would be appreciated:
tendermidnight@yahoo.com.


You approach, vanquishing the distance between us with
one step. My breath catches in my chest, only inches
from your own. A sensation runs through my body, a
tremble of uncertainty and excitement. Anticipation
hangs as heavily as the humid summer air settling
stickily on my skin.

Slowly your gentle eyes rise to meet mine, and before
I know what's happened we are locked in a mesmerizing
stare. Is that desire your beautiful brown eyes are so
wide with, or am I only kidding myself? You part your
sweet sensuous lips, as though to speak, then purse
them again, then once again, part them, but still
don't speak. I don't know what to say either and fear
that words would break the mysticism of the moment.

This seems to be the deciding moment of the ambiguous
relationship you and I have had up until now. For
months we've teased and flirted, and gradually I've
found myself thinking more and more frequently and
fondly of you. But, not wanting to lose what we have,
I've held my tongue, puzzling in private over things
you've said and done. Things between us were always
light, though, we were always laughing, which added to
the inscrutability. Now this seems more serious as you
stand before me; whatever is to be or not to be: it is
not a joke. The only question remaining is who will
make the first move. You do.

Very slowly, your eyes never leaving mine, you bring
your hand up between us. Studying my face for a
reaction, you delicately set your fingertips to rest
on my breast, as though it were only a casual gesture,
still not quite ready to commit. I gasp slightly at
the tenderness of your touch and wonder if my face is
betraying my sense of utter helplessness. Apparently
it is because you smile a small but extremely
satisfied smile. Then you lean towards me much more
resolutely, curving one arm around my waist and
pulling me towards you, with your other hand softly
stroking my breast as our lips meet and melt together
in gentle fusion.

My body thrills, my head spins, and I feel briefly as
though I might faint if your arm was not supporting
me. But then a powerful surge of electricity runs
through me, bringing me new strength. I encircle you
in my arms, responding more forcefully to your lips
and tongue with my own. In response, your hands become
more forceful too, matching the intensity of my
desire. They quickly slide under my shirt all over my
hungry skin.

I ease my lips off of yours and begin a soft shower of
kisses all over your face and neck down to your chest.
I stop for a moment and smell the succulent scent of
your hair that's driven me wild so many times before,
floral with a scent of fruit. Your long hair catches
the sunlight just so. I return my lips to the nape of
your neck. Your skin is smooth and velvety. I want
more of it. My fingers ache to feel you, so I bring my
hands up under your shirt and stroke your back. You
are impatiently tugging at my bra, so I undo the clasp
myself, and pull both my shirt and the bra off. I
smile when I notice your eyes resting appreciatively
on my breasts, but I am not diverted for long.

You hold up your arms, and I slide off your shirt,
then reach around and unhook your bra. I catch a
breath as it falls to the floor, revealing your
half-naked body. Your lips reach mine and as we
embrace our bodies are fused together, no longer
separated by layers of clothing. My skin softly sinks
into yours. Your nipples poke in just below my own. I
return again to kissing your chest, and you sigh as I
tentatively follow the curve of your breast with my
lips. The sigh turns into a gasp as I bring my lips to
your nipple, and after a slow kiss take the sensitive
pink skin fully into my mouth.

Very lightly I bite your nipple as I tease it with the
tip of my tongue. Then I kiss my way over to your
other breast, whose nipple has already risen in
anticipation. I bring my lips slowly to your body
until they are just barely covering the circumference
of your aureola, then I breathe out slowly and deeply.
With a low moan, you pull my head towards your chest,
so I quit the teasing and give this nipple the same
direct treatment as the other. I don't know which is
better, the impossible softness of your body, or the
sound of your rich, melodious voice uttering
monosyllables of pleasure.

I reluctantly raise my head from your breasts to catch
my breath and think a minute. I always attach
significance to things other people could just brush
off as a roll in the hay. Falling in love too easily
is definitely a problem I can't ignore. My body cries
out in impatient indignation, but I force myself to
resist touching you. You begin to reach for me, but
then stop, noticing my expression. "Sweetie, what's
wrong?" Your heavy breath begins to slow.

"I want you." I reply bluntly and urgently, wondering
why my voice is a whisper. "I want you more than I've
ever wanted anything. But...I'm so inexperienced. I've
never jumped into anything like this, and I'm afraid
as it is I have a tendency to get...emotionally
attached?" As if I didn't already sound stupid enough,
I punctuate the last sentence with a giggle, from
nervousness and also a bad habit of literally laughing
at myself.

Your smile is a mixture of affection and amusement.
"Now, come on, you have nothing to be afraid of. You
know I wouldn't hurt you. Ever. Do you honestly think
I'm not 'emotionally attached' to you too?" At this,
you stroke my cheek. I'm breathless at the softness of
your hands and the deftness of your movements as I
struggle to resist the urge to turn my head and take
your finger into my mouth. "Of course we don't have to
do this now though. If you're just nervous, maybe I
could help. On the other hand, if you're really
uncomfortable, maybe we should stop." You move behind
me and begin to rub my neck as soothingly as you
speak. I lean back, wanting to melt into you.

"I want this." I mumble breathily. "I want it now."
And even though I realize I've stolen my phrase from
spoiled eight-year-olds everywhere, I don't laugh this
time.

You slide your hands down to my sides playfully
tickling me. You lean over and your lips replace your
hands' position on my neck. You move your hands to my
abdomen and then slowly up, caressing my breasts with
long, light strokes while your own breasts are
pressing against my back as you lean into me. Another
long stroke brings your hands down to my hips, and
then the inside of my thighs. Again your light smooth
touch glides up and down causing me to shudder with
delight. I'm wearing loose shorts, enabling your hands
to move slowly, softly, up up my thighs, until you
reach the elastic of my underwear. You run your
fingernail very lightly along the edge of it. Now my
legs really do feel like they'll go out beneath me.
"Not here...bed...bedroom? maybe? now?"

With a nod you take my hand and lead me down to the
end of the hall. I follow behind you, my eyes on your
smooth white back and also, I admit, on the generous
curve of your ass moving from side to side as you
walk, highlighted by the tight denim of your jeans.

We enter the bedroom. You turn to face me and put your
hands on my hips just above the waistband of my
low-riding shorts. Your hands, your amazing touch on
this part of my body, sensitive and naked, causes my
mouth to water. But my mouth is not the only part of
my body that's wet right now. You pull me towards the
bed, slowly moving your hands in circular motions on
my hips as you do.