Date: Fri, 8 Feb 2002 11:06:42 -0800
From: writersrealm@hotmail.com
Subject: Discovering Gregory chpt 24

2-2-02

I can remember being the only one in the world when I was twelve. 

No gay child should need to deal with that reality ever again. We do have a voice and we can save the our children from a society that thinks they're better off dead than gay.

Discovering Gregory

Chapter 24
The Son's Only Moon

The air in Van's camper weighed a ton. I considered making a run for it but
escaping to Greg's didn't seem like much of an option. I found that I
couldn't look at Van and luckily Augie went to take a piss because I
couldn't take my eyes off his semi-erect ruddy red dick. While we were
alone with him and the only two people close enough for him to slug, Timmy
decided things weren't quite bad enough yet, and so he added gasoline to
the fire.

"Michael saw."

"Shit!" Van said. "Did you sell tickets or just invite passersby?"

"What now?" Augie asked, coming out of the john and leaning on the fridge
at the other end of the camper.

"The skinny geek who played football with us was watching too."

"Oh no," Augie said in major distress. "Everyone's going to know."

"He isn't that skinny," Timmy said.

"Yeah, he is," I said.

Van took the seat across the table from where Timmy and I were
sitting. Augie turned his back to us and leaned against the fridge with his
face in his arms. All I could think about was what I'd seen Van doing to
that beautiful shapely round ass of his. The heavy air suddenly grew hot as
I studied the curve and crack until Timmy leaned over to see what it was I
was looking at. Van turned to look over his shoulder.

"Will you two quit. Get your mind off it for just a second."

"Sorry," I apologized, resting my forehead on the table, but I could still
see Augie.

"I don't suppose I've got to ask what you think you saw," Van said, hoping
it wasn't as bad as it was.

"Quite a bit," Timmy said proudly.

"And what happened to your pants boy? You pee yourself or what?"

Timmy turned a brilliant red, not quite up to Augie's best color, but close
enough for an honorable mention. For a second it seemed like Timmy figured
there was no escaping the difficult truth, his head drooped and he folded
his hands in front of him before confessing.

"Yeah, I pissed myself," he said, looking at me for help.

"You were out there long enough to do that?" Van asked. "You did it in your
pants? Jesus! Aren't there any limits any more? What are you guys
thinking?"

"He did it," Timmy said, deferring to me after his lie failed. "I mean his
hand did it. What could I do? He won't leave me alone. The boys a sexual
fiend. I knew I said I wouldn't tell on you Martin, but the truth hurts."

"Yeah, right! Fuck me, Martin! fuck me while I watch!" I mocked, lifting my
head up high enough to be able to see Augie's smooth hot ass one more time
as I spoke.

"Oh, Jesus," Augie moaned into his arms.

"You should know better," Van started in on me this time. "I thought you
were halfway intelligent. You realize the position you've put us in? How
dangerous this could be if that other kid talks about this to his father?
What were you thinking? I wouldn't have expect this of you Martin."

"I'm sorry," I said. "I only.... I don't know why I like watching. I just
do. Once I saw you... once I knew what you were doing, I had to watch. I've
never seen anything like that before. You guys know about sex."

"The devil made you do it," Van said, mocking me about the way I did Timmy.

"Something like that. I couldn't stop watching. I knew I shouldn't. I knew
it was private between you two, but I wanted to see it. I would say I'm
sorry for looking, only I don't feel sorry. I mean, it was awesome. Both of
you were awesome. I want to have sex like that."

"Thanks for your critique. I don't suppose you'd both promise not to say
anything to anyone about what you saw us do."

"Fuck!" Augie moaned to the fridge.

"Greg's been trying to fuck him all day. I don't see what the problem is if
he likes that kind of thing," I blurted out in a burst of jealous fervor.

"But he hasn't," Augie said, finally looking toward the table with fire in
his eyes. "I pick who fucks me, understand.  Shit! I'm trying to explain my
sex life to two children."
 
"I'm not going to say anything," I said. "It's none of my business who you
do it with."

"Why?" Timmy asked passionately. "I'd figure you for the fucker. I wanted
you to fuck me. I had a wet dreams about it."

"I didn't know Greg let you sleep," I said, turning on Timmy.

"Shut up!" Timmy snapped.

"You go to jail, asshole. You learn about stuff you've never thought of
before. You get free and you forget what you did up there.  Then you meet a
guy like Greg, who's at you every minute, sensing he can get it off
you. You start remembering your dick being harder than its ever been. You
remember how you cum and keep on cumming with a guy doing that to you. You
realize it's part of you and you want to feel those feelings again. Not
with a punk like Greg but with a man like Van." Augie now stood at the
table with his eyes blazing fire.

"But you like girls," I protested in my limited knowledge of sexuality as I
noticed his dick a few inches from my arm. "How can you.... I
mean... getting a blowjob, sure, most guys go for that.  I don't understand
this end of it if your straight."

"Fuck you, Martin. I don't have to justify to you what I like. I'm a free
man now. No one tells me what I like. Just go fuck yourself."

"Martin!" Van said with anger before he caught himself. "Look, this is
private. He doesn't need to explain why he does what he does to you
two. Augie likes what he likes and you get to like what you like. He does
what he wants and you do what you want. Leave him alone with your
questions. It was as much my doing as his. I'm supposed to be the mature
one in this crowd. I'm supposed to have self-control. I'm as guilty as any
of the rest of you because I know better."

"Wasn't either. You said no. I pushed it, Van. Me. Greg got me going. I met
you and I knew. Don't say it was you It wasn't you. As soon as you said you
liked me it was all over."

"I went along. I could have said no," Van said.

"Of course, you did him a favor. You couldn't reject him after all that
football," I blurted out. "You and all this crap you fed me about happiness
coming from within. It's bogus right? Something to tell the stupid
kid. Seems like it comes from your dick just like the rest of us."

My venom even shocked me. I didn't know why I was pissed at Van but I
was. He sat silent listening to my speech. He looked as though someone had
slapped him, but I'd only called him a liar and a fraud. No one else spoke
as Van regrouped, trying not to loose it because of a crazed adolescent's
temper tantrum.

"You asked me and I told you the best I could. Nothing has changed,
Martin. Happiness won't ever come from your dick. Yes, sex can certainly
make you feel happy. I was flattered Augie liked me. That makes me feel
good. It didn't take much persuading to get where we went. I won't
apologize for liking sex or for liking Augie. I am as vulnerable to charm
and beauty as any one."

"Something like when I met Greg," I said, trying to ease off my
belligerence.

"Like when you met Greg. Good analogy. Augie's Greg and I'm you. What would
you have done in my place?"

"I could only dream of being in your place," I said in one of my more lucid
moments, glancing quickly at Augie's naked body.

Augie looked at me with a strange expression on his face. Van looked at
Augie and then at me. He was also shocked by this confession. Timmy wasn't
shocked by anything to do with sex.
 
"I didn't invite him over with that in mind. I just didn't want him to
leave me. I invited him over for a drink and some conversation and that's
all. The rest happened because I didn't want to stop it from happening."

"I took it from there," Augie said.

"It just happened. It changes nothing about what I told you, Martin. You
can grow as cynical as you like, but everyone isn't after your dick. Many
of us like you because you are likeable. Life isn't just about the search
for sex."

"I'm sorry about what I said. It wasn't fair," I said. "I wish I hadn't
watched. I mean because it upsets you that I did, not because I didn't like
what I saw. Not because I won't watch someone else if I get a chance."

"Speaking of which, you can buy my silence if that's all you are worried
about. You seem to want it bad enough to pay for it," Timmy bargained.

"Timmy!" I said firmly.

"Just how much could you see," Augie asked. "Before we start shelling
out. How do we know you saw much of anything? The curtain was closed."

"Michael and I came up right after you two left. Van was standing at the
end of the table right about where you are and you were sitting down where
Van is. You were rubbing his crotch as I recall."

"What?" Augie said. "Fuck! That was right after we got in here. He did see
it all."

"You yanked your shorts off like fire ants had crawled up them," he went
on.

"You and that string bean kid?" Augie asked figuring it out as he went
along.

"Yep, that's Michael."

"Shit, he saw all that too?" Augie said.

"Yep. Pretty near all of it. He saw I was looking and he looked."

"That's not good. He doesn't impress me," Van said. "He's the son of a
redneck, and rednecks aren't among the great thinkers of our time."

"So when did you show up?" Van asked me.

"I talked to Greg a few minutes so we could get something straight between
us."

"In your dreams," Timmy said in a condescending tone.

"Will you butt out. Haven't you caused enough trouble for one day," Van
yelled.

"...And I came over for some more RC and maybe to talk. I was still queasy
from when I landed on my head. Those two were standing outside, Timmy and
the String Bean. I didn't know what they were doing at first. I went over
and they showed me," I said.

"That's more like it. I didn't have you pegged as a peeper," Van said,
glaring at Timmy. "I should have known who started it."

"I didn't stop once I started," I said honestly. "God I want to have sex
like that!" I blurted out.

"What did you see, Martin?" Augie asked less sympathetic to my
weakness. "Just tell me what you saw."

"You were bent over the table with him behind you. You came. God did you
ever! You sat on his lap. You took the rubber off slow like while you...."

"Okay, okay, I get the picture," Augie moaned. "You saw what I did with the
rubber? Fuck!"

"Yeah, all of it. It was awesome."

"Oh fuck. I'm ruined," Augie said. "You guys can't tell anyone about this."

"Not on account of me," I said. "I'd never tell anyone. Who'd believe it? I
was watching it and I didn't believe it. I mean it was hot as shit but I
wouldn't ever talk about it or anything."

"Thanks," Augie said, not sounding thankful.

"Now all we've got to worry about is this con-man and the geek," Van said,
sounding worried. "I believe Martin when he says he won't tell anyone. He
won't cause us any trouble."

"Mike left right after I came up," I said. "Only we know about the rubber
and the weird stuff."

"Shut up, Martin," Augie said.

"He didn't see the end?"

"Nope," I said.

"That's good," Van said.

"He played with my dick," I said. "Almost the entire time."

"He what?" Van asked.

"Right after I came up he latched on to my dick. Through my pants, I
mean. He wasn't actually touching my dick, just through my pants. Like
that."

"He's always trying to get me to blow him," Timmy said, sounding like he
was trying to be helpful.

"He might keep his mouth shut if he knows you'll tell that on him," Van
said. "It's our only leverage. You didn't touch him, Martin? You didn't
place his hand on your dick to get a cheap thrill from the runt?"

"No! I just stood there watching Augie and he grabbed hold of it."

"That leaves this guy," Van said and we all looked at Timmy.

"Yeah, looks like I am holding the joker," Timmy said.

"What's it going to cost me," Augie said. "What do you want from me?"

"You, nothing, I wouldn't ever say nothin' to bust your balls. I like
you. This guy promised me something and went back on it," Timmy said,
sounding more playful than larcenous.

"This is serious business, Timmy. I want this resolved before you leave out
of here," Van said. "This isn't a game."

"My terms are simple. Show Martin your dick and then give me a shot at
it. He don't believe how big you are. He thinks Greg is big."

"They aren't in the same league," Augie verified. "Take it from someone who
knows, Van's all man."  
 "What?" I protested. "Leave me out of
this. Timmy's the one wants your dick."

Augie started laughing and seemed relieved for the first time.

"He should have done what he said he was going to do and I wouldn't want
nothing to keep quiet. It's the principle of the thing," Timmy reasoned.

"What's so funny. I'm not a show horse," Van said.

"Why does this upset you so much. I mean both of them have seen it. I don't
understand the deal," I said.

"Martin, if we lived in a perfect world I wouldn't care. I wouldn't mind
that kind of attention. I've got two under aged boys in here, and one who's
just short of legal. Two of them have an intimate knowledge of my
genitalia. There's a redneck offspring out there roaming around having seen
me in a compromising situation with one of you. That's why I'm upset."

"Why does any one care what we're going in here. We all agree sex is pretty
good stuff."

"Yeah, only we live in a society that demands conformity and this doesn't
conform to their idea of acceptability."

"Yeah, right, there all out there diddling each other's wives, that's
lame. I don't care what they say is acceptable."

"It doesn't matter what they're doing, because they make the rules. They're
more interested in what we're doing."

"You didn't do anything," Augie said. "Nothing I didn't get started."

"Yeah, me too. Once I saw that bulge in your britches, my full time
occupation was getting a look," Timmy said reminiscent of their history
together.

"You're missing the point. It's my responsibility not to let it happen. I
did. That's big time jail time in this state if people start getting wind
of it."

"How bogus is that," I said. "Why do they care so much about where I put my
willie? It isn't like everyone isn't doing it. What do they think, we're
all doing it by the numbers? Get real."

"That's the reality you've got to live with," Van said. "It's a reality you
better understand before you go peaking into windows and letting little
boys hang on your joint. It can end up bad if the wrong people hear about
it."

"I never thought of any of that. I'm old enough to figure out what I like,"
I said. "I'm sure not going to consult my parents."

"Not in this state you aren't, little boy. Let that kid say you made him
touch your dick, and you're history. They'll lock you up."

"Fuck that," Timmy said. "He's after it more than I am. Once he knew I'd
blow, shit, he don't want to do nothin' else."

"I'm sorry," I said. "I understand now. I'm sorry I watched. I'm sorry
you're upset. I'd never say anything. I'd undo it if I could."

"I know, Martin," Van said, patting my arm with his huge hand. "We'll just
wait and hope for the best."

"Me too," Timmy said. "Now whip it out and let's close this deal."

"I wouldn't mind getting another look. You kept hiding it from me," Augie
said sounding playfully.

					*****

Now, size isn't everything, and if it were, most of us would come up
woefully short. That said, size is nice if you happen to have it. I
certainly wouldn't be as aware as I am if not for the two sets of brothers
I first fooled around with. The fact they were all hung like ponies left me
feeling like I was robbed, but even Greg and the boys would have felt
inadequate had everyone around them had a dick the size of Van's. Van was
no doubt all man, having just missed being all dick. I came away with a new
respect for Augie's resolve.

					*****

We left Van and walked out between the campers, turning toward the river
house. There was movement when we passed the boathouse and Michael and two
younger kids he had in tow came toward us.

"There he is. He's queer," Michael said, bumping into Timmy as a challenge
no doubt.

"Is it true," a twelve year old, who looked way too much like Michael,
asked. "It's not, is it Timmy? You're not like that."

We all came up short with Timmy's mouth falling open as the little boy
looked at him carefully to see if he could find the answer in what he
saw. Timmy immediately looked to see who else might be within
earshot. Augie had stayed long enough to say goodbye to Van and came late
to the meeting of the young moralist league. He bumped himself between
Michael and Timmy, which was a neat trick since Michael had stayed planted
in Timmy's face.

"This the one, Martin. He the one was feeling your dick," Augie growled.

"Yeah," I aid. "It's him. He grabbed my dick, the little creep."

The twelve year old turned to face his taller counterpart. His face showed
the confusion he was left with. Will the real queer please stand up, I
thought.

"Let's get out of here," Michael said in a shaky voice. "They're all
queers. All of them."

"Be careful of him little boys. That's what queers do, accuse others to get
the attention off themselves, and then they go for your dick," Augie said
with his voice raising so they couldn't outrun the sound. "Has he felt your
dick yet? That's how you know the queer ones."

"He has. I've seen him," Timmy said. "And that's his brother."

"As if I'm surprised. That should give him something to think about."

"I did not!" Michael said loudly as the three boys seemed to be arguing
about fifty yards away with Michael between the two younger boys.

His inquisitors stayed focused on him and lost interest in our departure.

We walked along in some quick developing brotherhood I hadn't sensed before
the encounter. We were all connected in a way. Augie was happier than I'd
ever seen him. He cracked jokes and held Timmy's hand as we walked. I got
on the other side so he'd feel obligated to hold my hand, and he did,
looking at my eyes as we walked. It was nice.

"There's one thing I don't understand," Timmy said.

"Heaven forbid there should be something about my sex life you don't know
about," Augie said. "Will you guys get over yourselves. I don't ask you
about what you do."

"I don't understand how it fit. I mean, I like that. A lot! I'd never try
to fit Van up there. How could you do that?"

"Practice, Timmy."

"How? You ain't no wider than me. He's... he's huge. He'd rip me apart. No
way."

"Up there, you first do it because they make you. One guy was almost as big
as Van. Most were regular size and a couple were biggrer, more Greg's
size. You better not tell anyone any of this. It's private. You
understand."

"Okay, I won't. So they raped you? Like the stories about young boys going
to prison?"

"Yeah, pretty much like that. You fight the first time or two. Then you
understand you're giving them more pleasure. Some only like it if you
fight. No fun if you don't. They lose interest."

"There took turns?" Timmy asked thoughtfully

"Uh huh! That's how it works."

"How many?"

"First time, I guess all nine. That was the most."

"In one night," Timmy said in horror.

"Yeah, I saw a couple twice. You loose track after three or four. You make
it into one long fuck instead of a lot of little fucks. Makes it easier."

"How'd you stand it?" Timmy asked.

"You don't. You survive it. I survived."

"How?" I asked, trying to picture it but unable to connect to it.

"Like at the dentist. You pretend he isn't drilling the shit out of your
teeth. You pretend guys aren't drilling the shit out of your ass."

"Damn," Timmy said.

"They actually took turns," I said, trying to imagine it.

"They actually took turns," Augie said. "One guy was almost as big as
Van. He never went first and was pretty gentle. That's how come I can do
Van, I guess."

"That must be terrible," I said.

"You adjust, adapt, and move on," Augie said.

We stood on the road next to the house to finish our conversations. Augie
turned to face us and his eyes shinned in the starlight and from the light
on the outside of the house. He looked really nice. He even looked happy. I
remembered how unhappy he seemed the first few times I saw him. Augie had
changed or I had.

Dinner was ham and cheese on rye, ham on rye, cheese on rye, and cold
rabbit by the bucket. There was fresh squeezed lemonade in the fridge and
it was exquisite. How she kept it from being too tart I don't know, but it
rolled down my throat like one or the other was silk. I must have drunk a
gallon on my own.

We sat down in the basement talking for hours after dinner, Timmy, Doug,
Augie, and me. Greg had something to do but that came from Doug. I didn't
see him after we got back. I lay on my sleeping bag as Augie leaned his
back against the cinderblock wall with both Timmy and Doug on either side,
leaning against him. We talked about nothing in particular but the
conversation always came back to the jail where Augie did time. This time
it was Doug who had the questions as Augie's history was slowly coming
together.

"They didn't knife you while you were up there?" Doug asked.

"No, I was a commodity. I was protected."

"I'm sorry," Doug said, sounding like he wanted to cry.

Augie put an arm around Doug, and then Timmy insisted on an arm of his
own. I felt a bit left out but they didn't even know I was there, so it
wasn't a big deal. Augie was the centerpiece of the conversation once more.

"So what's up with Greg?" Doug asked.

"Hell if I know. He was pissed about you two watchin'. It wasn't like we
didn't hear you. We went to confront you... well, you know, on the path. He
was bent out of shape over that. What we saw. Oh yeah, he wants me to go
hunting tonight."

"That's not all he wants. Why do you let him?" Doug asked, snuggling
against Augie, looking for more than the answers.

"I haven't. I know what he's after. Don't tell him he ain't going to get
it." Augie said. "It'll do him good if I leave him high and dry after he's
worked so hard for it."

"Why would you do it if you don't have to? You aren't locked up any more,"
Doug said. "My brother gets what he wants."

"He hasn't gotten me and won't. I don't care for him. His style anyway. His
pretty immature about it."

"What did they do to you up there."

"You rally want to know? I think Timmy and Martin are tired of hearing
about it."

"Not me," I said, all ears.

"Me either. You've never told about the first night. How it started and
all," Timmy said.

"The first night! They waited 'til lights out. We was in this ten man
cubical. No bars separating us. They'd been nice all day. A little too
nice, you know. I wondered what was up with that. Givin' me candy, sharing
stuff, acting like we was friends."

"Some of them were nice?" Doug asked.

"I suppose. They were all three, four, five years older. I liked the
attention. Older guys never liked me before. I wasn't very well liked as a
kid. Never stayed anywhere long enough to make friends.

"It made the first day better. I wasn't as scared after awhile. One guy
came onto me after lights out. One of the oldest. He sat on my bunk
talking. We was in skivvies and like that, and he started rubbing on my leg
through the blanket, you know. I hadn't had any since leaving the foster
home and I was getting all I wanted there. Three of the four girls were
screwing all the guys."

"What happened?" Doug asked. "In jail."

"I'm getting there. First let me tell you about this one kid at the foster
home. That leads into the other. Whenever I was with the fifteen year old
girl at the foster house, and just when I was with her, he'd sit at the
foot of the bed and play with my balls while she rode my dick. I'd be on my
back, so they hung down for him. It's the only thing I done with a dude
before jail. I never minded it, but I thought I should. I missed it when he
didn't do it. It turned me on. I'm just throwing that in so you know I
thought of it before."

"So the guy was playing with your leg, remember," Timmy said, feeling
Augie's thigh until his hand was up between his legs.

"I was still in shock over being sent to prison. I hadn't done anything
since getting busted, like I said. I was thinking about that kid playing
with my balls while I was screwing. It got me going when the guy rubbed my
leg. So I was horny as shit and now the guy's hand is under the blanket and
I'm just letting him do what he wants. I was hard and he felt that, but
just like he was checking to see if it was. He laid on the bed with me, all
up on me, you know, and he starts rubbing my skin, up inside my thighs and
like that.

"Two of the youngest dudes came over with their dicks out, hard, you
know. It was obvious what was going down by then. One kissed me and put my
hand on his dick. The next thing I knew we were sucking and fucking, only I
was the fuckee. The old guy went first but my mouth was already stuffed
full, so there wasn't much I could say. It happened all of a sudden. He wa
up there before I knew it."

"What was it like?" Doug asked.

"Scared the shit out of me. There were dicks in my mouth and up my ass for
hours."

"Why did it scare you?" Timmy asked.

"I don't know. I was all overheated. It wasn't like with girls. There was
so much going on I couldn't deal with all the feelings. My dick, my ass, my
mouth, my hands were all involved. Guys kept rubbing on me to keep me hard,
and it was so hard I thought it might burst open. It hurt it got so hard a
few times. I couldn't figure out why I was so horned up over being raped.

"There was only two of the young guys that did stuff to me that I'm aware
of. I mean that tried to make me feel good. The rest would touch my dick
while they screwed me, but two guys kissed, sucked, did everything. That
made it easier on me. They could have just tore me apart, but they wanted
what they wanted. We're talking pretty young guys, late teens, early
twenties. I'm sure hard time would have been a lot worse. These guys had
probably been through it themselves. I was new meat to them."

"Sounds pretty bad," Timmy asked pointedly.

"That first night was pretty bad because I didn't know if they would kill
me or what. It took awhile for me to realize it wasn't as bad as it could
be. The thought was worse than the doing."

"What do you mean?" Doug asked.

"Picture nine guys in line waiting for a turn on your ass. It's pretty
scary even now. But it was one at a time and I was making out or getting
head some of the time. There was a mixture of fear and lust. It's not like
in the movies, wasn't that way for me. It had its moments. It jams all your
senses in high gear after a couple of nights. You go with it and can't
believe all the stuff they're doing to you."

"I bet," Timmy said. "You did them all the first night?"

"Yep! That's the way it worked."

"After that?" Doug asked.

"I fought some but I never won. A few guys just took what they wanted when
they wanted it. The rest were a bit nicer. You needed to figure out if you
wanted it hard or if you wanted it easy. Most lost interest the next time a
new fish came."

"New fish?" Doug asked.

"New con. Preferably new young con. The next one was prettier than me. He
got it hard the first night. Wasn't too nice a kid. Kept fighting over
it. Nasty mouth on him. They liked that. They didn't have to hold anything
back."

"So it was easier to give it up willingly," Timmy said.

"No doubt," Augie mused. "I was lifting weight by then and once I was
getting bigger, I only did what I wanted. The nice guys stayed nice to me
and the mean guys got with the other kid."

"You a bad ass?" Timmy asked, feeling Augie's muscle.

"No, I'd prefer to think of myself as a good ass. I didn't mess with anyone
if they didn't give me no grief."

"Not the new kid?" Timmy asked.

"Yeah, well, I'd been the center of attention for awhile. I had to make
sure someone else was taking my place. That meant sealing the deal in his
ass. He was a fighter. I understood what they meant about liking you to
fight. A pussy, but a fighter the night I fucked him. It was the only time
I joined in by the way. If I hadn't they'd a been right back to my bunk
wanting my ass the next day. You had to mark your turf if you didn't want
to belong to someone else."

"So that got you off the hook?" Doug asked.

"Sorta. Freddie became their new boy. I did just what I wanted."

"So you liked it? Some of it?" Doug asked.

"Funny! I wouldn't use those words. I liked some of them. Some I hated."

"The guy with the big dick?" Timmy asked.

"Neutral. He was gentle but old. Twenty-three or maybe older."

"Like Van?" Timmy asked.

"Nothing like Van. The guy was a con, slow, but harmless. He'd cum in fifty
seconds. So Van doesn't scare me."

"What about Van?" Doug asked. "Why would he scare you. He's nice."

"Nothing," Augie said. "He's twenty-four, that's all."

"Timmy says he's big," Doug said, raising his head off of Augie's
chest. "Like that other guy?"

"I suppose," Augie said.

"So what did you like?" Doug asked.

"Not so much what, who."

"Who?"

"Yeah, some of them were cool. Three by the end. We took care of each
other."

"You had sex with them? I mean because you wanted?"

"Yep. If I had to do it I wanted to do it with the ones I liked. I needed
sex. I wasn't going to go without."

"I'm hungry. You hungry?" Doug said. "Want a sandwich?"

"Sure," Augie said. "Some of that lemonade too."

"I'll go too," Timmy said, jumping up. "It'll take both of us to carry it
if everyone wants to eat again. I want some Ruffles. There any left?"

"How about a soda instead," Augie said.

"Ice?" Doug asked.

"Yeah, ice."

"Martin?"

"Whatever you're having. I'll take one of each."

Augie stood and straightened out his clothes before moving to the window.

"They got a beautiful lay out."

"Yeah, the moon and stars should be out," I said. "They shine in that
window all night. I watch them twinkling out just before I get up in the
morning. You ought to stay with us down here tonight and I'll show you."

"You an early riser too?"

"Yeah, I like talking to Greg's father. He's neat. He's funny."

"Yeah, he's a wise man. He knows things."

"Yeah, he does."

"They act like such kids," he said. "Timmy and Doug."

"They are kids," I said. "You're a man. We just seem like kids."

"I didn't say you. You act grown up," he said, turning to look at me and
his black eyes shinned.

"I get accused of that a lot. I think because I never hung with other
kids."

"Why's that?"

"I was different. I never liked other kids. Too giggly and stupid."

When I moved up beside him I looked out at the clear night. Our arms
brushed even though the window was eight feet wide. I could feel him next
to me.

"What you said when we was at Van's. You mean that or what?"

"I think so," I said. "Depends on which stupid thing it was you remember."

He turned to face me. "You said you wished you were in Van's place when he
was doing me. Did you mean that?"

"Oh That. Sure. I wish I could be like him. I wish I could make you feel as
good as he was making you feel. I shouldn't talk about it. It was wrong me
watching it."

"No, it's cool. I trust you. Guys watched all the time up there. It don't
bother me."

"I could only dream," I said. "I think that's what I said."

"Yeah, you could only dream. That was nice. I didn't think you liked
me. Doug and Timmy, I knew all along that they wanted to... but you... you
never get close enough that I can tell much."

"I am close," I said, feeling the heat coming from him as our eyes studied
the other.

His lips were moist and trembling ever so slightly like he was nervous
doing it. He made a slight noise I'd never heard come from anyone
before. It was hot. Everything about Augie was hot. His tongue was like the
rest of him, long and powerfully slender. I gasped when his hand felt
me. It was gentle and he felt the entire length before squeezing the tip
between his thumb and forefinger. I kissed more passionately, sucking his
tongue. Our bodies locked together and I felt faint. My head spun as he
explored my soul with his tongue, and that's when I heard someone clearing
his throat.

"Excuse me. They said you were down here. I didn't mean to interrupt?" Greg
said, interrupting. "I just wanted to tell you that if you're going hunting
with me and the old man, you might want to sleep up in my room. It's a nice
soft double bed. Plenty of room for... you. Anyway, come on up when you're
done. I'm turning in so I get some rest."

"Yeah, I'll be up later," Augie said looking in my eyes and kissing me
again without worrying about Greg being there. The next time we broke off
the kiss both Doug and Timmy stood there with the refreshments, waiting for
us to take a break. They both looked shocked at what they saw.

"You keeping him warm for us?" Doug asked. "You didn't look interested
before."

"He was cold. I decided to warm him up," Augie said without hesitating.

"That'll do it," Timmy said. "Anyone for Lemonade? I brung the rest
down. Maybe I should just throw it on you two. I mean like there's steam
coming off Martin."

We all laughed.
writersrealm@hotmail.com
Please write DG or Discovering Gregory as subject on your email. Thanks.

					*****

How is it that heterosexual's sexuality is natural but mine is some kind of
choice. How many of you got to choose? I was attracted to men even before
puberty. Was that a choice I made because I wanted to be ostracized?

I think sexuality develops at different times at varying degrees and with
unique drives and tastes, but we have been made so fearful of not
conforming that we can't talk about our differences. This could explain why
most marriages fail and why so many kids kill themselves instead of living
the lie they are told they must live if they want to succeed.