Date: Sun, 19 Mar 2006 21:23:07 EST
From: ICONvsICON@aol.com
Subject: Evidence of its Existence INTRO

EVIDENCE OF ITS EXISTENCE
Copyright 2006 Christian Mitchell
Introduction:

     I never planned to forfeit my status as a New York City resident.  Nor
could I have predicted that I would have enrolled in college while living
in Florida.  I considered New York to be my home.  I enjoyed being out and
about, meeting new people, the restaurants, the clubs, the shopping, and
the energy that the city was capable of generating.  I loved New York and
everything that it had to offer.  My intention was to be a full-fledged New
Yorker until I deemed it necessary to move on, should I ever choose to do
so.
     The opportunity to model presented itself soon after I graduated high
school, but I opted not to pursue it.  My main ambition was to forge a
career as a writer and musician.
     I had established a friendship with a guy that I had submitted a demo
cd of my music to during the summer of 2000.  I was a singer/songwriter
with aspirations of recording and performing original music.  Ted quickly
offered to represent me as my manager and provided a five-year contract, in
addition to artistic development.  Initially, the condition was that I
would attend vocal and dance lessons.  I was also expected to work on
writing and recording new music that would interest industry executives
beyond the music included on my original demo.
     Eventually, Ted allowed me to live in his apartment while I pursued my
musical goals.  However, due to occupational requirements, Ted decided to
relocate to Naples, Florida to work and live full-time.  I agreed to help
him move into his new house and drove with him from New York City to the
Gulf Coast of Florida.  I also accepted his offer to continue working on
music in the studio that he provided in his new home.
     I had known for quite some time that Ted liked me very much.  I was
careful and weary of allowing our professional relationship to develop into
something more intimate.  I considered Ted to be a good friend and enjoyed
his friendship and professional guidance.  He was a very nice guy, and he
was generous with his resources and time.  However, I missed living in New
York.  Following eight months of living in Florida I decided to return to
New York City on my own.
     Ted continued to encourage and support my goals.  He also informed me
that he missed me and wished that he and I could establish a more intimate
relationship with each other.  I contemplated the idea because of our
friendship, his professional qualities and the resources I could utilize in
his home, such as the studio.  After much thought, I decided that I was
willing to return to Florida to discover whether or not we could be in a
relationship.  I also enrolled in college with a focus on literature and
music.
     I was in my early twenties and Ted was in his mid-forties.  I enjoyed
working out at the gym to develop muscle mass and definition.  Ted was
slightly overweight and shaved his head bald.  I had no reservations about
getting on the dancefloor, while Ted usually watched from the sidelines.
Although we had many similiar interests, physically Ted and I were the
complete opposite of each other.  Many people made note of our differences.
Others congratulated Ted on being able to "rope in" a good looking guy,
such as myself.  I knew that I was considered very attractive, but it
bothered me that I appeared to be Ted's trophy boy.  Nor did I appreciate
the idea that many considered Ted to be my sugar daddy.
     I can not claim that Ted and I had a lot of issues or problems in our
relationship.  We got along well and respected each other.  Yet the
physical attraction between the two of us did not exist as it should have.
In the past I had been involved with guys about my age and considered quite
good looking.  Perhaps I was shallow, but I never put forth much effort to
establish the intimacy between the two of us.  Our sex life was sporadic
and involved little activity.  Both of us being top in a sexual situation
did not faciliate matters either.
     In spite of our relationship's "limitations", Ted and I cared about
each other very much.  We enjoyed spending time together.  I occupied my
time with college classes and working in the recording studio.  Ted was
often busy with work.  We respected each other's space and time, never
demanding that the other make sacrifices in order to make the other happy.
However, everything changed during the summer of 2004 when I met Mike.
     The happiness that I had been accustomed to was altered by something
truly amazing.  The love I had previously experienced had been replaced by
a love I never knew existed.  For the first time in my life, I allowed
myself to be open and vulnerable so that I could truly love another person
as much as he loved me.
     2005 proved to be one of the best years of life.  Later it proved to
be the worst.  Everything about me and my life was destroyed and re-shaped
into something new.  I celebrated the arrival of 2006 as a man changed for
the better.
     I was heart broken.  And I was grateful.
     This is my story.