Date: Thu, 1 Jan 2015 16:26:08 -0500
From: keybedder@aol.com
Subject: Full Circle, Part Two

FULL CIRCLE: PART TWO by K. Nitsua. Copyright 2014 by the author.

Kevin wondered whether he'd lost his mind. Then again, maybe it was the boy
he had somehow gotten himself mixed up with who was insane. What twenty-one
year-old oversexed college kid would pay attention to a tired middle-aged
widower like him, after all?

He had not expected his first, halfhearted ploy to succeed, and had been
completely, delightfully shocked at the result. Still, once Ryan had left
Kevin had not expected him to return or call.

He had called that evening. "So did you do what I told you?"

Kevin had known what he was talking about. "Yes."

Ryan's throaty chuckle had made Kevin's breathing quicken. "Good man. I'm
releasing you. You can relax that tight ass of yours."

"Hey..." Kevin hesitated. "Will I see you again?"

"So you want to see me again?" Kevin was filled with an emotion that he
recognized after a moment, annoyance and desire mixed in equal parts.

"I can't think of anything or anyone else. Happy?"

"Relax, man. I'm just messing with you. How's this weekend?"

Ryan had been as good as his word, and a few days later they grappled naked
once again on Kevin's bed.

He had to admit it wasn't a one-sided thing at all. Ryan seemed to find
Kevin as irresistible as Kevin found him, overwhelming him with kisses,
lying on his back moaning with delight as Kevin sucked him.

"Oh, yeah, fuck, you're so good."

Kevin straddled his younger partner's body and flung his head back, mouth
open in a silent cry, pleasure and pain mixed as Ryan's cock stabbed into
him. He cried out as he hit bottom-his lover was a half-inch too endowed
for total comfort, but that only increased the desire. He looked down at
his own erection in frank surprise. When was the last time he had been this
hard?

He looked up at Ryan's face. The boy grinned. "You like this as much as I
do," he said, thrusting upward, drawing a grunt from Kevin.

Kevin stayed on top riding the boy's cock for a few moments, until Ryan
suddenly sat up, pushing Kevin onto his back while keeping his cock firmly
planted in him. Bent double, his knees pushed against his chest, Kevin felt
Ryan's hot breath on his face, the heat of his body above him, the hard
pole of flesh driving into him, the unrelenting shaft scorching his tender
hole. Moments later he heard Ryan's strangled cries between clenched teeth,
and knew the boy was delivering his load inside him. He ran his head
through Ryan's thick, tousled hair.

"Feel better?" he asked.

Ryan opened his eyes and grinned. "Yeah. I'll take care of you in a
minute. Just let me catch my breath."

Kevin shook his head. "Take your time. I get enough of a charge just
watching you cum."

The boy said, "I do actually need to take a leak. Weird, but true." He
pulled out of Kevin and walked into the bathroom. Kevin watched him go,
admiring the view. He heard the stream splashing into the bowl followed by
the flush. Ryan reappeared, his spent cock slick and shining. He put one
knee on the bed and took hold of Kevin's organ.

Kevin said, "You have a great butt."

He had said it merely as an observation, but Ryan stopped and regarded
Kevin with a new interest. "Think so? Want to fuck it?"

"Well, I don't know..."

"Go for it, man." Before he knew it Ryan was kneeling between his legs and
his mouth had engulfed Kevin's cock. In contrast to his previous
lovemaking, the boy sucked slowly and thoroughly, using plenty of spit and
tongue to bring Kevin back to full erection. As he worked his hands roved
up Kevin's chest and found his nipples, fondling and squeezing until the
older man was moaning helplessly. Just as Kevin felt himself approach the
point of no return Ryan abruptly released him, looking up with that by now
familiar twisted grin.

"You're ready now." He rose to his knees and grasped Kevin's spit-slickened
organ, putting it against his hole. One swift move of Ryan's hips and Kevin
felt himself surrounded by smooth, squeezing heat.

"Oh yeah!" Ryan cried in pained triumph as he speared himself on Kevin's
cock. He paused a moment, puffing air through his pursed lips, before
beginning to ride Kevin methodically, squeezing his hole tightly as he
rose, loosening it as he descended. He dropped his head to give Kevin a
wet, urgent kiss, before continuing to caress his partner's cock with his
rectal muscles. Soon Kevin was moaning, tossing his head from side to side,
eyes closed in ecstasy.

"Damn, you're driving me crazy," he said.

"That's the idea, man," Ryan replied. He hooked his fingers together behind
Kevin's neck and tipped himself backward, forcing his partner up and over
until he lay on his back on the bed, Kevin on top.

"Now fuck me for real, stud," Ryan whispered, eyes locked with Kevin's.

Kevin let go of sanity as he began to drive into the boy's body with huge
thrusts, almost pulling out on each upstroke. Ryan's arms were around his
neck, his lips at his ear, pouring in a soft, ceaseless torrent of obscene
encouragement as he rushed toward completion.

"Oh God!" Kevin arched his back until he could see the ceiling, every
muscle tensed as he felt the sperm hurtle out of his balls and out the end
of his organ, spurt after spurt, planting his seed deep inside Ryan's
gut. His vision was filled with flashing lights as he shook with the force
of his orgasm. How long had it been? Or had he ever felt like this?

At last he was drained. He collapsed onto his partner's body.

He heard Ryan's voice, saying something. "What?" Kevin said, still dazed.

"Pull out of me and let me clean you off." Ryan didn't wait for Kevin to
comply, but wriggled out from underneath him. The next moment he gasped as
he felt Ryan's mouth on him, taking his softening, still sensitive
organ. The boy laved his spent cock thoroughly, then rose and kissed him,
his tongue and lips now languid and sensual. Kevin tasted cum and imagined
he tasted other things. Delight and revulsion fought inside him. Before he
could reject Ryan's attentions the boy pulled him down onto the bed. They
lay facing each other, loosely embracing, breathing finally returning to
normal.

Kevin felt as if anything he said would be stupid and inadequate, but he
had to try.

"You are something else."

Ryan smiled. "So are you, Dr. K."

Kevin took in the shock of dark hair on his lover's head, the even white
teeth, the sharp peak of the Adam's apple. Further down he saw the dark
nipples, the rippling rows of abdominal muscles and the thicket at his
crotch, out of which hung the organ that had conquered him, still powerful
in repose.

Thoughts rose unbidden of his classmate Lucas, soon coming to town. What
did he want from Luke that Ryan couldn't give him? And how was he going to
tell each about the other?

Later. He'd deal with that later. "Stay with me," he said, and pulled the
boy once again into his arms.

*******

Lucas drummed his fingers on the armrest of his seat as the plane slowly
taxied into the gate. Although he had managed to stay calm during the
flight, and had even slept a little, his nervousness came back in full
force as the moment approached.

He didn't regret his impulsive decision. "I'm going to come visit," he had
told Kevin when he had called. "You're going to be in town for the next
couple of weeks, right?"

His old friend had laughed. "Of course I'll be here. I take it you can just
take a few days off of work any time you want?"

"Kind of. It's a long story. I'll tell you when I see you."

He was glad to be in first class, because any more waiting would have
driven him crazy. As it was, even the few passengers in front of him seemed
to be moving especially slowly today, struggling with their luggage. At
last he was on his way, nodding to the flight attendant and captain, then
trotting quickly up the jet bridge, brushing past those in front of him.

He hadn't been back to Austin for a long time and marveled at how crowded
the airport was. The exit had moved, momentarily confusing him, so that he
did not see the waving figure at the head of the stairs down to the baggage
claim area.

"Lucas! Luke!"

Lucas turned toward the shout, startled. "Kevin?"

By now he was out of the secured area and Kevin hastened toward him,
clasping him in a firm embrace without hesitation. He stepped back, hands
still on Lucas' shoulders, and looked at him with an appraising but
affectionate eye.

"Recognized you right away. You haven't changed."

Lucas made a dismissive noise, though he was pleased. "I wouldn't say
that. How are you?"

Kevin shook his head ruefully. "Great, now that you're here. Glad you can
stay at least a few days. It's going to take a while to fill in all the
back story, don't you think?"

Lucas raised his hand and clasped one of Kevin's. "I'm in for as long as it
takes."

Kevin's eyes were suspiciously bright. "You have no idea how glad I am to
hear you say that. You've got more luggage, right? Let's go down to baggage
claim."

As they drove away from the airport in Kevin's car, Lucas cast a sidelong
glance at his friend. Kevin had been kind to say that he hadn't changed,
but he knew it wasn't true. It wasn't true of Kevin either. His hair was
thinner now, a mix of silver and gray. Lines were etched into his face that
Lucas hadn't seen before. Time and grief had done their work.

"You want to stop and get something to eat? Did they feed you on the
plane?"

The Starbucks on the freeway to the city was, mercifully, not crowded. They
found comfortable chairs in a corner. Kevin took Lucas' hand in his.

"So Will's gone. I'm so sorry."

Lucas nodded in acknowledgement. "I feel like it happened yesterday, even
though it's actually been-well, five years."

"So it was the HIV?"

"Actually, no." Lucas chuckled at the irony, as he had done many
times. "Those miracle meds did their job. When he died his viral count was
undetectable. The dirty little secret is that some people's livers can only
take so much."

Kevin stared. "Oh, my god."

Lucas. "Yep. In the end it wasn't the virus that got him." He withdrew his
hand. "I'll tell you all about that, but not right now."

"Okay, sorry. Want to back up a bit? Before we lost touch you told me he
had moved out there."

"Yeah. Do you remember? The last time we saw each other, I was heading off
to his house."

Kevin smiled. "I was worried for you."

"That's sweet. We actually had a really good talk, after he told me that
he'd contracted the virus. Did more than talk, actually." Lucas smiled at
the now distant memory. "It was a pretty hot reunion."

"You-slept with him again?"

"Sure," Lucas said, feeling a bit impatient. "I used protection, of
course. Anyway, that night he said he wanted to move out to L.A. to be with
me. I told him it was a bad idea if he wanted to see his kids again.

"Right after the reunion he wrote me a really sweet note. Talked about
showing up on my doorstep. Of course I never thought that would really
happen."

******

Lucas lived in a modest apartment on the second floor of one building in a
tight cluster of a dozen units. He would forever remember the exact moment
when he came home, parking in his usual spot, and looked up before walking
up the stairs to his front door.

A tall blond man was looking back down at him, arms propped on the
wrought-iron railing. Lucas squinted upward quizzically, the glare of late
afternoon sun in his eyes, recognition not coming immediately.

Then Will smiled and Lucas was sprinting up the concrete steps, not
stopping until he flung his arms around his lover, miraculously returned to
him.

******

"Wow. So your handsome prince came. That's how I always thought of him, you
know. Tall and blond and ripped."

Lucas smiled, but sadly. "It wasn't exactly happily ever after." His eyes
were distant as he remembered. "I loved Will, but I didn't know him all
that well. His life caved in after word about his being sick got out. He
tried to work things out with Jenny, but he couldn't.

"He turned to me because he didn't know where else to go, because I'd
helped him before. I did my best, but it wasn't easy. In the end it wasn't
enough."

******

Often when Lucas came home in the evenings Will was not there. He'd bought
a car, a necessity where they lived. Supposedly he was looking for work,
but a job hadn't materialized.

When he was there he was distant, constantly checking his phone or tapping
on his laptop. Again, he told Lucas he was chasing down leads on possible
employment.

One day Lucas came home from work and Will was gone. His laptop was on the
table in the living room, open. Lucas peeked at the screen. It was dark-the
computer was asleep. Unable to resist the temptation, he punched a key,
thinking he would see an empty desktop or a request for a password.

Will had forgotten to close his browser window. Lucas stared at photos of a
familiar face and body, placed in a new context.

He resolved not to bring it up, but when Will did come back, found that he
couldn't look at him.

"So how's job-hunting going?"

Will shrugged as he sat down on the couch and tapped the keyboard. "Not so
hot. Got a lead on something today, though."

"From one of your clients?"

Silence. Lucas finally turned. Will was staring at him.

"What the hell? Did you look at my stuff? Guess I'll have to start locking
my room."

Lucas hesitated. He had been snooping. Anger and hurt carried him past the
guilt.

"You've been welcome here. I haven't asked you for anything, have I?"

No reply from Will. Lucas took a deep breath. They had to have this
out. Now.

"But I didn't sign up to be home base for an escort. Is that what you've
been doing? Bringing your customers home while I'm out?"

"No!"

His denial was indignant enough that Lucas believed him. Still, that didn't
make it right.

"You tell them about your health? Your status?"

"God, when did you get so judgy and uptight? I always use protection,
okay?"

Lucas suddenly had a flashback to a night, long ago, in a college dorm
room. Angry words. Crushing disillusionment. An idolized friend transformed
into something he didn't recognize.

Will's shoulders suddenly slumped. "I know you're disappointed in me. If
you want me to move out, I will." For the first time Lucas noticed how
drawn and tired he looked.

"Not feeling good?"

"Yeah, whatever. I never feel really good these days."

More silence. Lucas finally spoke. "You don't have to leave. Just don't
start doing incalls, okay?"

******

"Like I said, it's no fairy tale," Lucas said to Kevin. "Kind of the exact
opposite. The handsome prince turned into a whore." He drained the last of
his coffee.

"Isn't that a little harsh?"

Lucas looked at him, startled.

"People have their reasons for doing what they do. Even rent boys."

"And what would you know about it?"

He thought Kevin would bridle, but his friend was thoughtful. "Over the
years I've counseled a few clients who were in the business. Jon and I even
had--have a friend who did it on the side."

Lucas said, "Even though I'd lived in L.A. for years and written about gay
life I guess I was pretty na•ve about some things. Suddenly it all made
sense. Why Will was gone so much. Why he wouldn't have sex with me. I felt
pretty stupid, and used."

"But you stuck with him."

"Yeah. I think Will was relieved that it was all finally out in the
open. It was easier for us to talk after that. And-" he broke off.

"What?"

Lucas found it difficult to get the words out. "The thought of Will doing
that was, well, kind of hot. I started having fantasies about him doing it
with other guys. And I thought of a way I could get to the front of the
line."

******

One evening they were sitting in the tiny kitchen, eating dinner in silence
across from each other when Lucas felt a hand on his knee. He looked up
into Will's eyes.

"Luke, I'm sorry you had to find out that way."

Lucas shook his head. "I was way out of line. Anyway, I have no right to
judge."

"I don't expect you to understand."

He searched for the right words.

"I wish you could see your kids."

"Yeah, well." Will turned away. "I'm not holding my breath."

A beat, then Lucas said, "I want you to fuck me tonight."

Will's head snapped up. "What?"

"I'll pay the going rate."

"Oh, for crying out loud, Luke. What's gotten into you?"

Lucas angrily dismissed the tears that had momentarily threatened. "Do I
have to spell it out? You haven't touched me since you came. I want
you. Whatever it takes."

Will rose from his chair and embraced him. "Luke, Jesus. I'm such a
bastard. You mean the world to me."

"You don't have to say things you don't mean. Just do me."

When he entered the guest bedroom some time later Will was lying on the bed
naked, his hands behind his head. Lucas stopped, momentarily startled by
the sight.

"You don't have to say it. I got fat."

Lucas shook his head. "You're gorgeous."

He gazed at Will. His love's chiseled features were still the same, but the
body had thickened and grown burly, chest and crotch dense with hair. He
was surprised how quickly desire rose in him. In a moment he was kneeling
on the bed, putting his lips to Will's. He didn't pull way. They kissed
with increasing passion.

Will smiled when they came up for air. "So you still think I'm hot?"

"Mm hmm," Lucas said, trying to unbutton his own shirt. Will helped him get
naked. When clothes lay in an untidy heap by the bed, he reached over Lucas
and opened the drawer of the nightstand beside the bed, pulling out a
handful of condoms.

"No."

Will stared. "What are you talking about?"

Lucas looked into his eyes. His voice was steady. "You said I can't
understand. You're right." He paused. "I want to fix that."

Will shook his head. "Luke, no. You can't."

Lucas noted with surprise that he was absolutely calm. "It's my choice,
Will." He bent and took his partner's cock into his mouth.

"Oh," Will sighed. His organ was steely hard.

He's turned on by the thought. That's okay. Lucas fumbled in the drawer and
found the lube. He smeared a handful onto Will's penis, keeping it in his
hand as he straddled his partner's body. "Here goes," he said, and sank
down onto Will's crotch, crying out as he felt the hard flesh surge into
his unprotected body.

"Oh God!" Lucas squeezed his eyes shut, body absolutely still except for
his heaving chest as he tried to relax and accept the invasion. Finally the
pain receded slightly and he was able to relax. He opened his eyes and
looked down.

Will's expression was faraway, his eyes dreamy. After a long moment he
spoke.

"Do you remember our first time? I took you like this."

Lucas nodded. "In the locker room, after we went skinny dipping. How could
I ever forget?" He rocked back and forth on Will's cock, riding it, feeling
shocks of pleasure as it rubbed against his prostate. "I never took your
cum inside me. I want it now."

Will sat up, his arms encircling Lucas' neck. His eyes were wide and
troubled.

"Luke. You're sure?"

In answer Luke stepped up the pace of his movements, sliding up and down on
the cylinder of flesh inside him. "C'mon. Give me that charged load."

Will's lips closed on his as he pushed Lucas down onto his back and began
to drive into him with hard, relentless thrusts. Finally he tensed,
flinging his head back, emitting hoarse, triumphant cries. Lucas flung his
arms out and began to laugh.

Will raised his head, which he had let fall onto Lucas' shoulder, and
looked into his eyes. His smile was tentative. "You are amazing."

Lucas kissed him, joy coursing through his veins as if Will's ejaculation
had infused his body with new life.

"Now I have all of you. We're really together."

******

Kevin stared. "So-you're HIV-positive?"

Lucas shook his head. "You used to hear about people getting it from a
single time. Apparently it's not that easy now. Will's meds kept his viral
load low enough that I guess he wasn't infectious." There was a bitter edge
to his chuckle. "Oh, I tried. I kept his cum inside me all night."

Kevin stirred uneasily.

"Of course I went in for a blood test soon after that. Nothing. Went back a
couple of weeks later, just to be sure. Negative."

"Wow," his friend said. "Just-wow."

Lucas said, "I was a little crazy, I'll admit that. I wasn't thinking. I
had no idea what would happen if I got the virus--or if I didn't get the
virus."

******

As soon as they got out of the public health clinic after the second visit
Will caught him in a tight embrace, heedless of passersby.

"I'm not ever letting you do that again," he said.

Lucas shrugged. "It didn't work."

"And I am fucking glad it didn't." Will's eyes were dark and
troubled. "I've been beating myself up for letting you talk me into it. I
don't want you sick too. You don't have to prove anything." He looked down
at the sidewalk, biting his lip before he spoke again. "I know you love me,
Luke. And I... I love you for wanting to. Thanks."

Lucas had kissed Will then, there on the busy street.

******

"Things got better after that," Lucas told Kevin. They were getting out of
the car by the main building of the Steelman campus. "Much better, in
fact. Will said I didn't need to prove anything, but I guess I had, in a
way most people don't get the chance to.

"We got married a few months later."

"Jon and I did too," Kevin said. "It's still not recognized in Texas, but
it was a good thing to do, though I didn't know at the time how good."

Lucas chuckled again. "Like I said, it wasn't a fairy tale. Will cut down
on his--business, but he never gave it up altogether. Said he felt bad
dropping his most loyal clients."

"And you let him?"

Lucas shrugged. "What was I going to do, Kevin? Lock him in? He'd lost
everything, his career, his family. He still had his looks, and men-and
women--wanted him. He needed to feel wanted. He needed to be doing
something. Say what you like, but I kind of understood."

Kevin said, slowly, "I'm not one to judge, believe me."

They walked among the buildings, some familiar to Lucas, some new.

"I suppose Rainer Hall is gone by now."

"Uh-huh. They tore it down a year after that reunion. Put up a shiny new
dorm. It's beautiful, of course, but I miss the old one."

Lucas looked at him and smiled. "Lots of memories there, eh?"

"For sure." Kevin's gaze shifted. He waved at two figures some distance
away. "Hello!" he called. He turned back to Lucas. "Have you met Drew and
Gene? They're both in History. Gene started teaching at Steelman right
after we graduated. He's just retired. Drew came while Jon was Provost."

By now the two men had reached them. Hands were shaken all around and
pleasantries exchanged. Gene, Dr. Reynolds, was the elder of the two, wisps
of white hair remaining on his head. He reached out and touched Kevin's
arm.

"How are you doing? We're so glad to see you. Jon's always on our minds."

"Thanks," Kevin replied. "Lucas lost his husband recently too. They were
Steelman classmates."

"So young, how terrible," Drew Ohlen said.

Lucas found himself admiring the man's broad shoulders, full head of silver
hair and patrician features. He felt comfortable replying, "People forget
that the plague is still with us."

"So it was AIDS?"

"Not exactly. Will was positive, but he actually had a fatal reaction to
one of the drugs he was being treated with."

This prompted further exclamations of appalled sympathy, to the point that
Lucas began to feel uncomfortable. "We've just met. Sorry to lay this all
on you."

"Not at all," Gene said. "Kevin, it's been way too long. Would you and
Mr. Boatwright be up for dinner while he's here?"

Kevin began to demur, but Lucas said, "That would be nice. I'll be here for
a while. And please call me Luke."

"Sorry," he said to Kevin after they concluded their conversation with Gene
and Drew and moved down the walkway. "You should have been the one to
answer."

Kevin shrugged. "It's fine. They're great guys."

Lucas confessed, a bit sheepish, "If you must know, I was liking the
thought of-was it Drew? Looking at him a bit more."

Resigned laughter. "He has that effect on people," Kevin said. After a
moment he added, "I'll say this though-he's not stuck on himself at all,
never has been. Which of course makes him all the more irresistible. But
he's absolutely loyal to Gene. Never a breath of scandal with those
two. Except-" He leered. "I've always wondered about this friend of theirs
who comes to visit every so often. Another professor. Sixty if he's a day
and a stunningly hunky black guy. The three of them could do some great
daddy porn. And maybe do."

Lucas gaped. "You're saying they're a threesome?"

"Please," Kevin said with mock severity, "the correct term is 'polyamory.'"
I am a psychologist, you know. I actually have no idea. Just indulging in
totally inappropriate-but enjoyable-speculation."

They had reached the imposing chapel in the center of the campus. Kevin's
face changed. "I'd like to go this way for a minute."

There was a walled-off area to the right side of the building, with a
wrought iron gate set into a stone archway. Kevin opened it and they
entered a small garden, planted with various bushes and flowers, some in
bloom. A fountain trickled into a man-made pond on one side. Kevin
contemplated the sight, his hands clasped behind his back. Finally he
turned to Lucas.

"Jon asked to be cremated after his death. He was still competent then. I
scattered most of his ashes here. Not that he was religious, but he loved
working at Steelman. It seemed right." He chuckled. "One time when we had a
fight I told him he was married to me, not the school."

"It's lovely." They stood in silence.

Kevin said, "This is actually the first time I've been here since."

Lucas looked at his friend then, emotion swelling within him. He draped an
arm around Kevin's shoulder and found himself clasped in a tight embrace.

"I'm glad you came," his friend said. "Lucas?"

"Yes?"

"What finally happened to Will, exactly?"

******

The end came crashing down with stunning speed. Will had been looking pale
and acting listless for a couple of days. It was Friday evening when he
came into Lucas' home office.

"Luke. I need help. I've got to go to the hospital."

Lucas looked up and the question died on his lips. Will looked terrible,
barely able to remain on his feet. His eyes were wide, his breathing was
rapid and shallow, and his coloring-after an instant Lucas realized what it
was. Jaundice.

"Oh my god, Will. Lie down on the couch."

He dialed 911 on his cell phone, trying to keep his hand steady and his
mind blank.

Please let it not be that.

The ambulance came within ten minutes-for that small favor he was
grateful. Lucas had hoped this moment would never come, but without knowing
it he had prepared himself for the possibility. He spoke calmly and quickly
to the EMTs, explaining who he was, and his suspicions about what was
happening. He showed them Will's prescriptions.

The medics listened and nodded before they whisked the prostrate man onto
the stretcher.

He held Will's hand in the back of the ambulance, siren wailing above them,
looking into his eyes and smiling, pretending a confidence he did not feel.

"Hang in there. We'll get you some help real soon."

Oxygen mask over his face, Will nodded weakly and tried to smile back.

Later Lucas paced the corridor in the hospital, unable to sit, unable to
think of anything except Will somewhere nearby, fighting for his life.

"Mr. Boatright. I understand that you are Mr. DuBarry's spouse?" It was the
doctor, a startlingly young woman.

"That's right. How... how is he?"

The physician's face was impassive. "I'll be honest with you. It's not
looking good. His liver, as you suspected, is in acute failure. This can
happen as the result of high doses of certain medications. We're doing our
best to turn things around. That's all I can say."

She turned to go, then said over her shoulder. "You can see him now. He's
asking for you."

In the emergency wing he tried to steel himself, but Lucas' heart
nevertheless lurched when he stepped behind the partition. Will's color was
a yellowish gray, and sweat beaded his brow. His hair was limp and
tousled. What sent a chill through Lucas, though, was the dull hopelessness
in his sunken eyes.

Will saw him. He stirred and smiled, faintly. At once Lucas was at the side
of the bed, taking hold of one damp, limp hand.

"How are you doing, buddy?" he asked.

Will shook his head. "Not so hot."

"They'll get you up into a regular room as soon as they can," Lucas said,
trying to keep his voice confident. We'll get you through this."

Instead of answering, Will's grip tightened. "Lucas. Listen to me. This
might be it. Curtains. The end."

Lucas fought to keep back the tears. "Don't say that. They can do anything
here. You'll be back home in no time."

His partner tried to smile. "Maybe. But you've got to listen."

Lucas nodded.

Will's expression was somber. "I want to say thanks for all you did. Not
giving up on me. Taking me in. Putting up with my shit."

Lucas tried to smile, pointing to the gold band on his hand whose fingers
were interlaced with Will's. "That's what husbands are supposed to
do. Better or worse, it says."

Will shook his head. "I didn't deserve someone like you."

"Don't say that."

"I never gave you anything but grief."

Lucas felt the tears slipping from his eyes and down his cheeks. "You gave
me everything."

Will's voice grew fainter, as though a signal were fading. "Take care of
yourself, Luke. Love... you."

Lucas squeezed Will's hand harder, as if to keep him from slipping
away. "No! Will. Please. Don't leave."

Glassy-eyed with terror, he saw the blond head slump to one side, mouth
slack. An alarm began to beep loudly on one of the machines connected to
Will's body. Lucas ran out of the room. "Help! Someone please help!"

...to be continued