Date: Thu, 25 Jun 2009 21:21:42 +0000 (GMT)
From: Stew Rob <robbostew@yahoo.co.uk>
Subject: Not What I Bargained For

The following is based on actual events, the age, identity of the
characters have been changed and no real names have been used.

Is it what they see in the other person? or what they would like to see in
themselves?

In my case it's all about attitude and the following story is all about
that appeal that transends any shortcomings a man might have in terms of
familiarity.

My life is a constant battle of good and evil, it's the Catholic upbringing
and the Irish background, someone once said, not sure who "The Irish are
the only group of people that are immune to the benefits of psychoanalysis"
This rings true having had many mad moments with Irish people, family
included.

What Irish people, Irish men in particular seem to hold is an innocent
distance that they use to protect themselves from the harsh realities of
the world and life in general, that's me, innocent and guilty, guilty for
rushing in where most men would not go.


A Turkish bath in London, old as anything, it's been here for years and
looks even older, in fact it looks older than anything you might imagine in
Istanbul, old and tiled with an assortment of men, it's men's day in the
baths and there's allsorts here today, like there usually is on Saturday,
Cabbies, builders, market traders, actors, dancers, tourists, company
directors and the retired crowd, the ones that had a hard life when they
were young, when it was illegal to give into their desire for male company,
they came here, still do for a fix, a fix of masculinity, there's no more
male environment than a Saturday here not unless you're into to Rugby or in
the forces.

Here i am today day, usual crowd, the German bloke with the PA who likes to
show it off all the time, his mate who i was first introduced to while
having a rub down, i saw his dick first from a lying down position and it
was a big one, in fact never seen one like it for size and shape.

Some of the crowd is a bit rough in this place, all mouth and territory,
this is their East End and i am only accepted with this lot cos one of
their crowd fancies me rotten, he's married and obviously likes em in their
early 30's but looking younger, then there's the weirdo's the bloke who
does Kung Fu streches and poses in the dry room, the Jamaican who's always
smashed, the old pin stripe villan with the gold sovereign's who asked me
once if i wanted to go away for a week in the sun "Bring your own spending
money" he says, i turned him down, after all i am in a relationship with
Pat and it's an old fashioned one as well, two Irish Catholic boys the
guilt is a nightmare at times.


Here he comes, Rick, 5ft 9 tall, black shortish wavy hair, small waist, big
hairy legs, nice equipment, i was hooked, he is very masculine as well, i
guessed Police, in fact he'd just come out of the forces, Army, he asked me
if i wanted a rub down, would i decline?  if i did i would've been mad, we
head towards the hottest steam room at the end for some privacy,
interesting rub down, instant erection for both of us, he ask's "fancy a
cold hose" i need that right now, it's so hot in here only the old boys can
stand longer than ten minutes.

The rub down is good, we head for the 'dry' room, still hot but no steam
and a place to stretch out for a dry massage, i massage slow and use baby
oil, Rick is quite hairy so it gets a bit messy, now i can appreciate his
sincerity and real soul, when you discover that in a man it kills the
cynicism in you,here he is in all his naked glory, ex Army, he's left the
mess room now and is out there for love.

Fingers, toes and his meaty arse gets a proper working over, this isn't a
gay sauna, officially, the men in here are more connected but less open, if
that makes sense, it all about want and need but not necessary overkill,
sometimes it works and in this case it's working better than it ever could,
a man fresh from the straight uniformed world of the army and it's
constraints is not a cynical old queen that is on the scene every night,
not exactly a novelty in this place but nice to see.

His eyes are dark, dark and glacial, i'm catching sideways glances as i
bend over, it's getting hotter and my sweat is dropping down on his back, i
quicky rub it off and continue, he wants to say something to me, i bend
down and he holds my hand, in a gentle way.

"Have you got a boyfriend"

I pause and i'm a bad liar so i reply straight away "Yes mate, long term"

"oh" he says.

I carry on the massage and Rick become even more relaxed, he grabs my hand
again and rubs it on his eye, he's crying and it's a shock for me, he likes
me i'm thinking, i'm not used to men asking me if i'm in a relationship,
not men like this, Rick is a man definitely.

I decide to bend down, "Are you crying mate?"

"Oh don't worry about it" he replies with a sigh "Just a big softie really"

"Lets dry up and get a drink"

We grabbed our towels and headed to the slow service drink and snack
counter.

Things are moving pretty quick for me, my 8 year relationship with Pat is
cracking up and Rick is hungry for love, so am i, his work hours are a
nightmare, i don't like deceit and getting over to see him and getting back
to Pat without looking like i've been up to something is a job, this is
unknown territory for me, the deceit, the rush home, the stolen intense
moments, something's got to give and instinctively i can feel that 3
peoples lives are going to change quickly, the march of personal desire is
strong with men, with strong minded men it's even stronger and for
passionate strong minded men its unavoidable.

I'm on one of my visits, he opens the door, dressed in a white dressing
gown, open at the front he's just had a bath i think, smells good, freshly
shaven and hair's getting longer, black,slighty wavy and still damp, i go
straight for the mouth, it's open, my body is shaking, never had this with
Pat, not like this, the tongue stays in there for a long time, twisting and
licking, the beautiful chin gets a good licking and all the way those black
masculine eyes watching, observing asking me questions, questions without
speech, what are they saying to me?

"I love these moments" he blurts

"Shut up" i say, did i say that? what do i think i'm in a 40's film noir?,
we laugh a bit and get back to what i'm here for, no not the sex, it's the
soul, the eyes, the mouth, that's not sex, don't know what it is, don't
happen to me a lot, can't, too intense, to give youself like this is
madness, won't be the same after this, can i cope? can he manage? don't
know, what's happening here, this is wrong, this is right as well, it's
against nature, but it is nature and nature is abundant tonight, the seeds
of love don't grow, they were there from the beginning and will be at the
end.

We make it into the living room, he's on all fours, bent over, i grab him
from behind, he's a physical man and responds straight away by wriggling
like a Jack Russel, i'm not letting this love sick dog get away, i grab his
black mane and pull his head back, kissing him from behind and biting his
lip, even though he's shaved i can feel the roughness of his already
sprouting growth, i could enter him here and now but that's too easy and
we've got a long night ahead, i grab him around the waist and squeeze
tight, he's my stress ball, my pillow, my lemon, juicy and sharp, good
combination, his feet are my next target, his big shapely toes are like
bits of cheese, i'm hungry and dinner's ready, raw meat is juicy and
steak's on the menu, prime beef.

"i'm waiting for it" he beckons from the bed, i don' t have to be told what
to do, but i do it like i've never done before and might never do again,
the hand holding and warm feel of his back sends my heart into overdrive,
we kiss all the while, he mutters, he could be Italian, or Greek but he's
English, he's old school ex Army, if they get this pent up before they let
em out i'm won't complain but he has heart and i've got it in my sights.

"Harder" he mutters "Don't come yet mate" i won't mate, believe me, i
won't.

His insides feel like something else, he loves it so much, the effect it
has on him having another man inside, a man he loves? he's taken in, this
is gonna go on for hours, with breaks for breath and more neck straining
kisses, "Don't stop" he's pleading, me? i'm deaf, my senses are fucked all
that i can hear and see are narrowed to a point in space and time that
cannot be defined.

Standing now, pushing, tugging, violent mouth to mouth, this is war now,
who's gonna win?  maybe there will be an amnesty, the tears, the
mutterings, all over soon, i can't hold out forever, not all night, got to
explode, never felt an anti climax after ejaculation before, means we have
to seperate for a while, he goes to the loo, his guts are a bit sore, i go
in there and he's holding my hand while he's on the pan, more finger
kissing, the afterglow and the parting, tears as well, cos i can't stay the
night, the guilt and Pat is killing me.

Leaving his house is like coming out of the cinema, the reflection, review,
what happened there, it's gonna burn me up soon, we've got to work, i've
got a train to catch, not ready for this, is he?

It all ended soon after, i wouldn't move in, too sudden, too scary, i split
with Pat, he found someone else, a surrogate who then left him, he moved, i
moved, Pat stayed.

Men are men and they will not learn, never ever, don't want to, don't have
to, in this world for other purposes, love is a master dressed in black
leather, he won't let you until he wants you to feel him, he grabs you when
you're not prepared and then it's too late, you have to let go.


I hope you enjoyed this story.  I have other stories on this site, if you
like my stories and would like further information please contact me at:
robbostew@yahoo.co.uk