Date: Sat, 2 Dec 2000 18:23:06 -0800 (PST)
From: tiberius <tiberius224@yahoo.com>
Subject: Pillow Talk (Ians 5.txt)

***  !!WARNING!!  *** Gay fiction about to begin!

If you're not old enough please come back when you are. If you're not
allowed to see this wherever you're accessing it from don't! You should
go now at a run-if not, it's your neck and don't say I didn't warn you
to leave.  And last but not least-if you are offended by the thought of
homosexuality then you're in the wrong place. Please go back the way
you came in or you will be offended.

Also, these characters come from my imagination. I know of no one
like them in real life. Any one who sees himself or anyone they know
should mark it down as a coincidence.

I started thinking about the previous chapters, and the chapters in
Pillow Talk and decided this was all too much a fairy tale romance.
Every relationship has its ups and downs, so I decided to inject a little
`realism' in to this one. I promise it's not going to be Earth shaking, but
it does test Ian and Jeremy's budding relationship. It also helps set the
stage for Pillow Talk.

Now that you've been properly warned the story continues.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *
Ian awoke and found his own hair hanging in his face. It had grown
longer and someone had colored it with streaks of gray. He wore dark
blue pajamas, which was odd because Ian did not own any blue
pajamas. There were arms wrapped around Ian and he looked to find
they belonged to the man lying beside him. The curly hair had become
dishwater blond in color, and there were streaks of white in it that were
not from bleach. The man's face had aged, but it was still unmistakably
Jeremy lying there in Ian's arms. Jeremy looked very much at peace
with himself.

Ian smiled because this felt very right. Lying there holding Jeremy felt
completely natural. Ian could not explain why, but it felt like it was
supposed to be this way. For lack of a better description, Ian felt it was
destined to be.

Ian moved his face closer to Jeremy's and was just about to kiss him
when the alarm went off.

Ian's eyes popped open and he found himself in bed with the annoying
sound of his alarm clock sounding from the nightstand. He looked
around, but except for himself there was no one else in the bed. Ian
realized he had been dreaming.

For the first time in months Ian did not reach over and press the snooze
bar. Instead, Ian sighed, shut off the noisy alarm, climbed out of bed,
and headed for the bathroom. As he began to take care of his morning
chores he absently hummed the song he and Jonathan had sang to
Jeremy the night before.

It was not until Ian had finished spitting out the last mouthful of
mouthwash that he realized what he was doing and why. He was
humming because for the first time in months he was happy, and
Jeremy was the reason he was happy.

That was foolish he told himself. Ian had only met the young man.
How could he be so happy with Jeremy after spending one afternoon
painting an office, and one night on a date? Ian chided himself that it
was too soon.

Ian went back to the bedroom and began to dress for his meeting. He
threw his pajama top on the bed and paused for a moment. He slept
alone in a king-sized bed. Ian had slept alone in that bed since he tossed
Marcus out on his ear.

Then Ian remembered his dream. In so many ways it had seemed very
real. Ian smiled remembering how right and natural it had all seemed
and felt in his dream. At any other time he would have thought he was
losing his mind, but for some reason he would never understand Ian
knew he had just dreamed the future. It was not a belief that he and
Jeremy would be together; no, Ian's feeling of certainty was too strong
for a belief. It was a fact.

Ian finished dressing and headed out to the kitchen for his usual liquid
breakfast.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

Jeremy stretched and opened his eyes. He found himself looking at a
stranger. He felt dirty and realized that he had fallen asleep along with
the client. He started to slip out of bed and realized he was in his own
apartment.

Shit! Jeremy thought to himself. He began to dress. He would slip out
the door and go find breakfast somewhere. He would take his time and
come back in a few hours. By then, the stranger in his bed would wake
up, realize where he was, and leave.

Jeremy had his shoes in his hands as he slipped quietly out his bedroom
door. He had just closed the door as quietly as possible and turned
around. He was surprised to find Ian standing there. Ian was dressed in
black with a white collar around his throat. He looked very much like a
Catholic priest.

"Adulterer!" Ian shouted. "You are not worthy of love."

Jeremy was shocked, "But you said what I do didn't bother you."

"Stupid child." Ian mocked him. "Do you really think I could have
feelings for a slut like you? A man who whores for a living?"

"But you said." Jeremy started to protest again.

Suddenly, the bedroom door burst open. Jeremy turned around to see
the stranger standing in the now open doorway. There was anger and
rage on the man's face. He opened his mouth to rage at what Jeremy
was sure was the indignity of being awakened.

The only sound that came out was the buzzing sound of an alarm clock.

Jeremy sat up in h is bed. He looked around and found himself alone in
his bed. He looked down at the alarm clock beside his bed. It was
making the annoying buzzing that he had heard in his dream. He
slammed his hand down on it and the alarm went silent.

Jeremy rubbed his hand as he sat there for a moment calming his
nerves. What a nightmare he thought to himself. What was really
unnerving was what if Ian really felt that way? Jeremy he did not want
to go through that nightmare for real. The dream had been bad enough,
but Jeremy did not think he could handle it if Ian actually called him a
slut and a whore. Jeremy realized they would both be better off if he
never saw Ian again.

Jeremy realized that he had to miss their lunch date. Ian would surely
get the message that they were not right for each other and move on
with his life. That decision brought a strange calm with it and Jeremy
could finally stop shaking.

His decision made, Jeremy looked down at the clock and seeing the
cracked plastic case realized that it was broken.

"Shit!" Jeremy swore to no one in particular. "What a lousy way to
start the day."

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

Ian looked at his watch. Jeremy was fifteen minutes late. So far, he was
turning out to be unreliable when it came to showing up on time for
appointments with Ian. It did not matter though, Ian was still certain
they were meant for each other.

Jeremy would show up any time now, Ian thought to himself.

Ian took a moment to look around. It was one of the few bistros in the
city and Ian came here whenever he had the opportunity. There were
tables set out along the sidewalk in front of the main restaurant. The
restaurant owners had replaced the cement sidewalk with cobblestone
for a more European flavor. When the sun was out like it was on this
cloudless day chairs were set under the tables. The awning over the
table provided some shade if it was uncomfortably warm, and the wait
staff provided all the free water the customers outside could want.

Ian usually enjoyed the nuances of the setting, but all he could think of
as he checked his watch again was Jeremy. What was taking him so
long?

Ian began to wonder if something had happened. A feeling of panic
washed over him as he thought of Jeremy lying in the street somewhere
after bouncing off the front of a car, or shot by a mugger. Then Ian
scolded himself saying he was just letting his imagination get the better
of him.

It was more likely that Jeremy had overslept because they had stayed
out fairly late the night before. Ian doubted that Jeremy forgot because
he had seemed fairly excited when they planned to meet.

Finally, after about forty-five minutes Ian accepted the inevitable.
Jeremy had stood him up. With a sigh, Ian ordered lunch to go. When it
arrived he headed back to his own business.

Movement in the corner of his eye drew Owen's attention toward the
office door. Owen saw Ian opening the door to his office. There was a
sack in Ian's hand. The look on the boss' face gave Owen a start. He
had seen that look only one other time. The day Ian threw Marcus out
of the restaurant he had seen that look and one other. There was none of
the other on Ian's face, but Owen could not help but feel uneasy.

Ian sat behind his desk dropping the sack on the top of it. He started to
open the sack and then realized he wasn't hungry. He sighed. Ian
picked up the sack and dropped it in to the waste can beside his desk.

Ian reached over and picked up the previous night's receipts. He started
totaling up the receipts to put into the ledger. Then he added them up
again. The numbers didn't match. He tried again, but still they didn't
match. Ian finally shook his head and put the receipts back in a pile and
leaned back in his chair.

He knew why the receipts wouldn't balance. He was distracted. Ian's
distraction had a name and right now that name was the only thing he
could think of. The name and the person it was attached to.

Then Ian remembered the dream he awoke to that morning. How could
such a dream feel so right and be so wrong? For that matter, how did
such a dream happen so soon? He had only met Jeremy two days before
and he was dreaming about spending the rest of his life with him. Ian
decided he was losing his mind.

Just then there was a knock at the door.

"Come in." Ian said.

For just a moment Ian thought it was Jeremy with an excuse for
standing him up, and his mood improved immediately. But the door
opened and it was Owen standing there. Ian felt his spirits fall as
quickly as they had risen.

"What is it?" Ian asked sullenly.

"I was getting ready to ask you that question." Owen said as he stepped
in and closed the door.

Ian was surprised, "What're you talking about?"

"When you left to go eat you were happy, but when you came back you
looked the same way you do now-like someone ran over your dog."
Owen said. "Then I noticed there was a sack in your hand and now that
sack is in the trash, and it doesn't look like it's empty."

Ian shrugged, "I wasn't hungry."

"Oh, is that all?" Owen said. "I thought maybe I'd messed up and you
were going to fire me."

"What?" Ian was surprised. "Fire you? Why would you think that?"

"When you came back to your office you had that look on your face.
The last time I saw it was the day you fired Marcus." Owen explained.

"You know why I fired Marcus." Ian said. "You have nothing to worry
about."

"Well, okay." Owen replied hesitantly. "So if it's not me then is there
someone here I can expect to see leaving soon?"

Ian shook his head, "No, I'm not going to fire anyone here."

"Then it has to be Jeremy." Owen said.

Ian looked up, "What makes you say that?"

Owen shrugged, "He's the only other one I know of who could
possibly make you look that miserable."

Ian snorted, "You're right. It's Jeremy."

Owen nodded, "Which means it's none of my business. I don't know
what the problem is, but I hope you guys can work it out."

"Why is that?" Ian asked. "Have I been that bad to work for?"

Owen laughed, "No, you're very rarely hard to work for. Let's just say
that I never saw you that happy with Marcus."

"Oh." Said Ian.

There was a momentary silence before Owen said. "Well, I'll get back
to work now. I hope it works out with you and Jeremy."

"Thanks." Ian said as Owen left.

Ian looked at the door as Owen closed it behind him.

Ian remembered the dream he had earlier that morning. The dream had
felt so right that he had to ask himself why he had forgotten about it.
He reminded himself that relationships did not always go smoothly.
Even the best relationships had problems now and then. The ones that
lasted were those where the problems were talked out and worked out.
If Ian were going to make the dream he had about Jeremy come true
then he would have to work things out and not give up just because he
had been stood up for lunch.

Ian decided that he was going to find Jeremy and find out why the
young man had stood him up. Whatever reason Jeremy gave Ian would
make sure they worked it out.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

Jeremy came around the corner that led to his apartment when he
spotted Ian at his door. Ian was talking to the next door neighbor and
did not see Jeremy standing there. Jeremy ducked back around the
corner and waited.

What was Ian doing at his door Jeremy wondered? The answer was
simple enough. Ian was looking for him.

Frustration rose in Jeremy and he wondered, why doesn't the man get
it? I'm no good for him. He can't be that stupid.

Jeremy headed for the stairs. He could not let Ian find him. There was
no way Jeremy was going to put himself through the pain of the dream
he had that morning.

Jeremy turned the corner to the stairwell and headed down. He took the
stairs way to fast and nearly fell twice. He was almost to the first floor
when he did fall. He only fell down the last few steps, which was not
enough to seriously hurt him physically, but was enough to wound his
pride if anyone saw him.

Jeremy sat there for a moment at the bottom of the stairs making sure
there was nothing broken or bleeding. Once he was sure he was
uninjured, Jeremy looked up. He could see the front door of the
building. He climbed to his feet and headed toward it. He was feeling
that he was going to escape.

The building had one elevator that opened next to the front door. It had
been broken for weeks and Jeremy had been taking the stairs all that
time. Just as he reached the elevator doors Jeremy discovered that the
elevator had been fixed.

The elevator doors dinged and then opened. Ian stepped out of the
elevator and Jeremy walked right in to the one person he had been
trying to avoid.

Ian started to excuse himself when he saw whom he had run into.

"Jeremy." Ian smiled. "I've been looking for you."

"You were wasting your time." Jeremy said coldly.

Ian shook his head. "No I wasn't. I waited for you for about forty-five
minutes at lunch. You stood me up. I want to know why."

Jeremy shrugged, "I had an appointment."

It was a lie, but Ian did not need to know that.

"I see." Ian said hesitantly. "Well you still owe me a meal. I was
thinking dinner at my place about seven thirty tonight."

"No." Jeremy said. Why was Ian making this harder than it had to be?

"Then you pick a night and time, and I'll have dinner waiting." Ian
said.

Jeremy took a deep breath and sighed. He was going to have to do this
the hard way.

"No, I'm not going to have dinner with you. It'd be better if we don't
see each other again." Jeremy said flatly.

The look of shock on Ian's face seemed to last forever, but in reality it
only lasted a few moments. Then Ian's face calmed and it was the older
man's turn to take a breath.

"I see." Ian said calmly though he really did not understand. "Who
would it be better for-you or me?"

Jeremy spoke without thinking, "Me."

"You?" Ian blurted out. "What do you mean?"

Jeremy cursed himself for saying it. It was not entirely true. It would be
better for both of them.

Ian continued calmly, "The way I see it, I'm the one who would be
better off without you. I run a respectable restaurant, and it does very
well. If word got around that I was interested in a street hustler I could
lose that respect, and the restaurant."

Jeremy gasped. His dream was coming true right before his eyes.

"But you know what?" Ian continued. "I'm not worried about any of
that. I like you. Maybe I'm attracted to people with shady lives I don't
know, but you are at least honest about it. One thing my relationship
with Marcus taught me is the value of honesty. That is worth more to
me than whatever you may do to earn a living."

"You say that now." Jeremy replied. "But what about a month from
now? Will it bother you then?"

Ian hesitated. He had to think about that. Finally, Ian had to admit, "I
don't know."

"Look, I don't want to start something with you only to find out in a
month that you can't handle it." Jeremy said. "It'd be better for both of
us if we just ended it now before either of us really gets hurt."

Ian did not voice the thought that it was already too late for that. Ian
was sure a break up even this early would hurt, but Ian knew Jeremy
was right. If a relationship were not going to work out it would be
better to end it before it started. They were from two different worlds.
There was the difference in their ages. They had so many differences
between them that Ian had seen already. He was sure there were more.

Then Ian remembered his dream from that morning. Maybe it was
wishful thinking on his part, but Ian remembered that peaceful
contented expression on the older Jeremy's face. He wondered if a
relationship with the younger man was worth this trouble.

The answer formed in Ian's mind before the thought was even
complete. Hell yes, a relationship with Jeremy was worth the trouble.
The image Ian had seen that morning in his dream was fresh in his
mind. Ian was convinced it was a sign that the two of them were meant
to be together. Now, he just needed to convince Jeremy. Ian made up
his mind not to give up on Jeremy.

"Then why don't we just be friends?" Ian suggested calmly.

"What?" Jeremy was surprised.

"Friends." Ian repeated. "You know? Two people who just hang out
together. There wouldn't be anything sexual between us at all. After a
few months, it would give us a clue whether or not I can handle you
being an escort. If I can't, then we don't have to go any further than
that."

Jeremy hesitated. This is not what he expected. He had expected an
argument that would end with him hurting Ian so badly he left. An offer
of friendship was not what Jeremy was expecting.

"I don't know." Jeremy said skeptically. "I don't think this is a good
idea."

"Look, Jeremy, this will probably sound crazy but I believe you and I
were supposed to meet." Ian said. "I believe it's fate."

"You're crazy." Jeremy snorted.

"Maybe," Ian nodded with a quirky half smile. "Then again, maybe not.
We can take it nice and slow until we're sure how I'll handle it."

Jeremy wrestled with his conscience. He wanted to believe what Ian
was saying, but his nightmare was still too fresh in his mind. Still, it
could be just his mind trying to protect him from the same heartbreak
he had experienced with the others before Ian. Jeremy was reminded
that Ian already knew what the youth did for a living, and he was still
here. In fact, Ian wanted to stay.

Ian could see Jeremy struggling with the proposal.

Ian said, "Look, come to dinner at my apartment tonight. We'll watch a
movie afterward, or go to the club and dance the night away. I won't
kiss or hug you, or try to get you in to bed. We're just friends."

"Okay." Jeremy said hesitantly, unsure of what to do. "I guess it
wouldn't hurt."

"Good," Ian said. "Seven thirty then?"

Jeremy nodded.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

Ian was nervous and he knew it. Standing in the dining room he studied
the table again. The settings were in the proper place. There were no
candles on the table though he had been very tempted to put some
there. The food was prepared and Ian had just finished placing it in the
center of the table where they could both easily reach it.

Ian was sure the food he had prepared would be good though he was
sure it would be much more exotic than Jeremy was used to. Ian's
impression was that Jeremy would be happy with a burger and fries, or
a pizza; though Ian was sure that the clients that took Jeremy out had
introduced the young man to the finer dining pleasures.

Ian looked over at his mother's china hutch and glanced at the clock. In
bright green numbers it read seven twenty-six. Ian would know in a few
minutes if he and Jeremy were really going to have a chance together.

"Get hold of yourself, Shea. You're just two friends having dinner."

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

Jeremy stood outside the door of Ian's loft. He smoothed his shirt, then
exhaled in to the palm of his hand, and smelled it to check his breath.
His breath smelled fine. Jeremy chided himself. Why was he worried
about his breath? He was not going to kiss Ian.

Jeremy reached down and paused before pushing the button to the
doorbell.

"What the hell am I doing here?" Jeremy muttered to himself. "Ian will
never accept a whore like me."

Jeremy already knew the reason he was standing there at that moment
was because Ian had come looking for him. He had not run when he
found out what Jeremy was-he stayed. Ian had searched him out and
wanted to know why Jeremy had stood him up. When Jeremy
suggested they break it off Ian still wanted to stay. Maybe Jeremy's
nightmare had only been a bad dream after all.

There was only one way to find out.

Jeremy took a deep breath gathering his nerve and pushed the button.

A moment later, Ian opened the door.