Date: Tue, 27 Oct 2009 21:00:22 +0100
From: A.K. <andrej@andrejkoymasky.com>
Subject: Ricardo 06/14 (relationships)

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RICARDO
by Andrej Koymasky (C) 2009
written on on June 2, 2002
translated by the author
English text kindly revised by Randhir

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USUAL DISCLAIMER

"RICARDO" is a gay story, with some parts containing graphic scenes of
sex between males. So, if in your land, religion, family, opinion and so
on this is not good for you, it will be better not to read this story.
But if you really want, or because YOU don't care, or because you think
you really want to read it, please be my welcomed guest.

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Chapter 6 - MY BROTHER

Sergio is fifty-two years old. He is married for twenty-nine years with
Tana, who is forty-three. He made her pregnant when she was just
fourteen, and then he had to marry her and thus my nephew, Marta was
born. Tana is a very smart woman; my brother has been lucky. Then came
Gemma and their last child is Piercarlo, or Picc". Tana is the same age
of my sister; they were classmates. I was eighteen when this happened.
When Sergio confessed at home what scrape he had gotten himself into, a
tragedy seemed to explode at home.

My father asked him, yelling, if he didn't know that condom's, or
"raincoats" as he called them, were invented centuries ago.

My mother said to him it was a shame he had taken advantage of such a
young and naive girl, "É who moreover is the same age as your sister!"

They married, but Tana's parents demanded that she had to go on living
with them until she was eighteen. It didn't go in that way. Exactly the
same summer when I met Giorgio at the beach, in September, Tana ran away
from her parents' home with Marta in her arms, and showed up at our home
- she declared she wanted to live with her husband. My mother agreed
with her. Tana's family kicked up an incredible row, but the law was on
Tana and Sergio's side. They lived one year with us then Sergio, with
our father's help, found a small apartment and that was when Gemma, was
conceived, while they still lived in our home.

Piercarlo instead was born six years after Gemma; in fact my nephew is
now twenty-one years old.

Sergio is not bad, as a man. He is serious, a hard worker and honest. He
just is somewhat narrow-minded. He despises gypsies, Arabs, gays, drug
addicts, communists and priests. He doesn't hate them, he doesn't
discriminate them, he says, as long as they don't hang around him.

That's why unlike my sister, he doesn't know that I am gay or if he
suspects it, we never talked about it. But I believe he really doesn't
know, or else he would not keep silent. I can imagine it, "I love you,
you are anyway my brother, but don't show any more here. If you are in
need I will always give you a hand, but keep clear of me." Exactly what
he said to his son.

He is not a bad man, when somebody says that the Arabs are to be all
killed, he becomes furious, "They are men like us. They just have to
stay in their countries. They are welcome in Italy, but just as
tourists!"

Sergio owns a bar - he never refuses a glass of water to an Arab, and if
the Arab orders something and pays for it, he treats him like any other
customer. He is somewhat more selective with gypsies. But only because
they are dirty, he justifies himself.

"If they want to live a nomadic life, it's their business; they have
just no to come to Italy."

When I asked him where they have to go if no country want them, he
answered, "Then they have just to stop being nomads, they have to find
an honest job, to wash themselves, to stop bothering people begging or
stealing. Look at the Philippines - nobody has anything against them,
isn't it so? But they work hard, they are honest, they are clean!"

You can't move him, in spite of any reasoning you can do. He is a man of
sound convictions, be they right or wrong. Of course he thinks they are
right. It is just that he never has any doubts about his ideas, he never
considers that they could be wrong. He is a champion of tautology -
there are just two possibilities, either I'm right or you are wrong.
When I made him notice that, he got angry.

Tana is smart. I think they never quarrelled. My sister in law is
clever, she knows perfectly which are Sergio's faults and his limits
but, rightly, she never talks about them. One times I got a load off my
chest with her for some friction with Sergio, her only heart-felt
comment has been, "but he is a good man". She is right, I never told her
anything moreÉ or almost.

Sergio is anyway generous. When I left my job twenty years ago, he gave
me a hand until I found a new job. He, Dad and Clara helped me for
almost two years. And in that period Sergio didn't have so much money -
all his three children were little, Picc" was just two years old. And
anyway he helped me, without my asking him.

At times Sergio is boring - he complains about everybody and everything.
Mainly about taxes and our politicians, even though I can't disagree
with him about these two points. He is a member of the Liberal Party and
goes often to their meetings, even though he is not really an activist.
But according to him, there is not a single honest person in the world,
or anyway you can count them on the fingers of one hand. His employees
are lazy; they have neither passion nor intelligence. If you don't watch
them they will only try to cheat on youÉ and so on.

Therefore we have at times somewhat tense discussions. I love him and
that's why when he does some kind of reasoning, I get mad at him. Anyway
we never had much confidence, much understanding, in spite of us just
five years apart. When we were children, he never treated me badly, but
he was feeling too much grown up to allow me in his world. He never
played games with me. He never helped me to do my homework. He never
soothed me when I was hurt. But he never stole my toys and never treated
me as a snotty kid.

He always hated his son's nickname Picc", "It seems the initials of the
Communist Party!" he thundered. Now that the Communist Party doesn't
exist any more he could possibly have calmed down, but the problem
doesn't exist any more, as Picc" now lives with with me.

When the problem of Picc" burst into the open, his reaction was complex,
"I couldn't expect anything else from you! If it wasn't me who sired
you, I would say they had not been able to straighten you. But unhappily
also from the good under stocks can come out bad vines!" he thundered.

He was out of himself. Tana had difficulties in calming him down, poor
woman.

About the fact that Picc" confessed everything, he said that it was the
minimum his son could do, "And if they put you in jail, I hope they will
throw away the key!" he icily said, but I know he really didn't think
so.

About the menaces to his bar, he just laughed out loud - he wasn't
afraid of four outskirts hoodlums. It wasn't a pose, he really wasn't
afraid.

Once, when I was sixteen, he caught me while I was masturbating. I felt
like sinking in the ground. He didn't scold me, he didn't even smile. He
dryly told me to go and do it in the toilet and to lock the door. He
told me I was a fool to do it in the bedroom in that way what if Dad or
Mum had walked inÉ he left the sentence unfinished, but with an accent
of menace.

He always felt very much the "elder brother". He ceased that attitude
only when I too started to work. But he treated me as a kid even through
my university years. He didn't want to go on studying after the high
school. As soon as he graduated, he went to work in a bar, which he
liked very much. He learnt this trade very well and by the age of 30 he
opened his own bar. He knows very well how to treat his patrons.

When first Marta and then also Gemma started to flirt with some boys, he
took them apart, explained them about him and their mother, and said,
"Sooner or later, if you didn't already do it, you will get to something
more intimate with your boyfriends, it's natural. Therefore you have to
always have in your handbag a box of condoms, to avoid being made
pregnant as I did with your mother - we men are reckless. But as it is
not good for a girl to go in a chemist's shop to buy them, I bought some
for you and put them in that drawer. Take them when you want, but never
forget to have some with you, don't forget it!"

Beppe, Gemma's husband had worked at Sergio's bar since he was a boy,
and my brother was glad when they started to date and then married. He
is less happy with Luigi, Marta's husband, who is a painter - a
timewaster, according to Sergio. On the contrary, Luigi is a rather
established painter and earns good money. I like Luigi more than Beppe.

Sergio once called me at home and Sandro went to answer, this was before
either Picc" or Ricardo had been living with me.

"Who's that guy?" Sergio asked me.

"A friend. Why?"

"And he answered your phone?"

"He's my guest, he sleeps in my living." I lied.

"And why? Doesn't he have enough money to pay for his place? Doesn't he
have a job?"

"Yes, but so we simply share the expenses." I said.

"Ah, well, yes; then you can save money." Sergio concluded, placated by
my explanation.

I was with them when Gemma and Beppe married. At the wedding party,
there was one of Beppe's cousins, a rather effeminate boy, who gave you
the feeling he could be gay.

My brother at a certain point said, "Just look at that one! The inverts
should be all castrated!"

"Why?" I asked rather disturbed by his remark.

He answered, "Because they are ill people and so they would not corrupt
the children."

"Sergio, first of all don't mistake gay people with paedophiles, and
there are plenty of the latter also amongst the so called straight
people. And second, what that boy can do or not do in his bed, doesn't
concern you!"

Beppe, who heard that remark, intervened, "Who, Roby? He gay? Don't be
duped by the appearances, Dad, Roby is a real womanizer!"

I giggled and Sergio asked me, "Well, what made you laugh?"

"NothingÉ you would have castrated somebody like you." I whispered him.

"I am not a womanizer, I never cheated on Tana!" he cut short, frowning.

He probably is sincere - I don't know and am not interested to know.
Anyway I caught the glance that Clara threw to me when she too heard
Sergio's remark and then she winked at me. I don't think she wanted to
say that Sergio had had some adventures out of his marriage, but just
that she appreciated the exchange between my brother and me.

I always thought that Sergio was more handsome than me. I never envied
him for this. I could see how the girls were looking at him, and at
times even some boys.

I never felt looked at in that way, except by Ricardo.

When our father died, I think that the one who grieved the most was
Sergio. He admired Dad very much and he resembled him a lot especially
for his character, even though physically he took more by Mum. He then
took Mum to live with him until she also passed away. Mum and Tana got
along well - they weren't the classical mothers in law and daughter in
law. Sergio seemed happy having with him both his mother and his wife
and that they fit so well with each other.

When Picc", my brother's son, was born I was twenty-five years old. They
asked me to be his godfather at his christening. I didn't want to give
him the usual gold chain that then ends up forgotten in some chest of
drawers. I took a gold chain bracelet that I got as a gift from my uncle
at my coming of age, and that I never used, took it to Stefano asking
him to restore it, find for it a more modern case, and to carve on the
small plaque my nephew's name outside, and his birth date inside.

I asked my brother and my sister in law to keep it apart and to give it
to Piercarlo when he was old enough to appreciate it and not to lose it.
They gave it to him at his fifteenth birthday, and his joy abundantly
paid back those fifteen years of waiting.

Since a child Piercarlo has always been my preferred nephew. Of course I
love the others as well, but for him, possibly because he is my first
male nephew, possibly because I had been his godfather, I always had a
weakness. As well as he for me.

We used to play for hours together, and at times Tana said, "Don't wear
down your uncle in that way, or else he will never again come to play
with you!"

Then Piercarlo looked at me in alarm, but I winked and then he again
opened in a trusting smile.

When Piercarlo, or Picc" as I called him, was attending the middle
school, his learning problems started. Even though he had a normal
intelligence, he didn't like to study. He was not lazy, but evidently
his teachers, possibly already in the primary school, had not been able
to make him fond of studies.

Tana repeatedly told him, "You are hopeless, you are hopelessÉ" and so
doing she worsened the situation.

"I'm hopeless, uncle." the kid repeated to me in a desolate tone.

In that period I was living with Sandro. When I was free and Sandro had
some commitment, I went to Sergio's house to study with Picc".

"Can we play, uncle?" he asked full of hope.

"Sure, if you first study and you deserve it."

"But I'm hopeless, uncle!"

"And I don't think so. What's a tactical foul?" I asked and he, readily,
explained it. "What's the difference between the Italian and English
points calculation?" and he perfectly explained it. "Do you see? If you
understand such things, know them, and remember them it means that you
can learn also the school matters."

Caught at fault, he hinted a smile and said, in a low voice, "But soccer
is amusing, school isn'tÉ"

But then he studied with me, and at the end of the school year he
managed to get the promotion. Sergio gave him a gift, and Picc" said to
me in a low voice, "But at least the half of this gift would be yours!"

At that I answered, "For sure, and that half is my gift for your
promotion." and winked to him.

When he was sixteen, after leaving school and getting a job, Piercarlo
underwent a change - with me he was always nice, but he became closed,
somewhat sulky and started to spend more and more time out of home with
his friends and less and less with me.

"He's just growing up, Tana, and he's get out from his mother's apron
strings. It's just natural." I said to my sister in law to calm her.

In reality I was worrying too. But I understood I had not to harp  on at
him too much, as his mother was already doing so too much.

In his bedroom started to appear Sex Pistols posters, Devils posters,
then slogans like "Out-law" and so on. It was normal in a kid of his
age, but I got the feeling he was trying to assert something peculiar.
He was seventeen and a half when on his room appeared a Nazis' swastika.

"What's that?" I asked him.

"A swastika, don't you know?" he answered sarcastic.

"Yes, but what does it mean to you?" I asked him, frowning.

"Nothing." he answered shrugging his shoulders as to cut off that
speech.

"No, it's not nothing or else you would not have put it on your wall.
What does it represents for you, Picc"?" I insisted.

"Wouldn't you please care for your fucking shit?" he answered, worked
up.

He never talked me in such a way and I looked at him agape. He was
looking at the tip of his shoes, but had an angry expression.

"Well, "I said, "if you put it in these termsÉ" and went away from his
room.

After that time we were barely exchanging a little more than a bye when
we met in his home. I was missing the Picc" who as a boy was cheerful
each time he saw meÉ He is just growing up, I went on telling myself.
And I resigned myself to have become for him just a little less than a
stranger.

One new thing started to make Tana worry - Picc" seemed to have more
money than he should. How did he get it?

"He says he wins it playing cards with his friends," his mother told me,
"but, besides the fact I don't like him to bet money, is it possible he
always wins?"

"Is it much money?" I asked her.

"I don't know, not so very much, but anyway not so littleÉ And once he
cames home with a gold lighter, another time with a watchÉ always won at
cards so he saysÉ"

"It could be soÉ" I said, even though I too didn't believe it.

So I decided in spite of my previous decision to face again Picc".

"You don't believe me?" he asked quietly, too much quietly, "If you
don't believe me, just play poker with me and a couple friends. But, as
you don't believe me, we will start with a kitty of one hundred thousand
liras. If I lose, you probably are right, I could be a thief. But if I
win, I have you gulp down all your fucking suspects, as I will leave you
naked!"

He seemed too self-assured, so I let it go.

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CONTINUES IN CHAPTER 7

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In my home page I've put some more of my stories. If someone wants to
read them, the URL is

http://andrejkoymasky.com

If you want to send me feed-back, or desire to help revising my English
translations, so that I can put on-line more of my  stories in English
please e-mail at

andrej@andrejkoymasky.com

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