Date: Tue, 11 Mar 2003 13:17:22 EST
From: JuilianJ@aol.com
Subject: the story of us part 18

THE STORY OF US
BY: Julien

This story is 100% fictional and is by no means depictive of the life of
any person, place or thing.  It contains sexual activities between males
and should only be read if it is legal to do so in your area.  Read at your
own risk and enjoy.  Comments are welcomed and would be very much
appreciated.  ENJOY!

	That night, that wonderful, glorious night, we ended up back at his
place, in his bed.  And after all the sounds of passion had died down, we
actually cuddled - CUDDLED!  I hadn't prepared for things to get this far
but since they did, I was planning on taking full advantage of it.  As he
spooned me from behind, his right hand carelessly thrown over my chest, I
reached for it with my right hand and held it in my palm.  I had to hold
it, feel it, smell it, just to convince myself that it was real, that this
was real, that we were real.  I don't know what I had been expecting to
happen, maybe I had imagined the other shoe would drop and for this 'dream'
to end and for us to wake up and see that this was just another lapse of
judgment but it didn't turn out that way.

I woke up the next morning with his arm still in mine and his body pressed
up against me in such a fashion that I couldn't mistake his erection.  I
loved that feeling.

He stirred a little and then I felt it, his lips slowly, ever so slowly
meeting the back of my neck and placing soft kisses there.

"You're up."  I stated attempting to turn around but he stopped me.

"You stay right where you are."  And I couldn't say no to him.  I closed my
eyes and allowed my body to respond to his gentle touches.  His hand made
contact with my chest and I slightly jumped as I realized that it was cold.

"Sorry."  He whispered in my ear, tounging it ever so often.

And I couldn't help but say it, "I love you."  To my surprise, he didn't
stop, he didn't hesitate, if anything, he increased the pressure of his
hand on my chest and worked his tongue over my ear twice as fast.

I could feel his erection more prominent than ever and instinct took over.
I released myself from his strong hold and turned to face him.  His eyes
looked into mine with so much - I couldn't mark a feeling but I knew I saw
something in there, something that I had never seen in them before and my
own heart gave an extra beat.  I climbed atop him and pressed my lips
against his own, morning breath or not, I wanted this man again.  He seemed
to get the message and leaned his hand into an open drawer and pulled out a
condom.  I took it from his hand and carefully ripped it open with my teeth
and within seconds, I had it on him.  I slowly positioned myself on his
dick and ever so slowly took a gentle dive downward.  Again, I was reminded
of its girth and clenched my teeth.

"You ok Richie?"  He asked, concerned lacing his eyes.


"Yeah, just don't move."  He stayed perfectly still and allowed me to work
my magic.  I leaned into his chest, careful not to let him slip out of me
and held unto his shoulders.  My lips once again connected with his and his
tongue once again met mine.  And while we shared mind blowing sex, I
couldn't help but think that this was all that I wanted for the rest of my
life.  Him with me, him in me, him and me forever and that final thought
had me exploding all over his chest and him exploding into the condom.  I
lay my head right on point and closed my eyes.  He seemed to understand
what I needed as he reached up and ran his hand through my hair so gently,
like a parent would a child.  We stayed that way for God knows how long
until,

"Shit." He blurted out

"What?"

"It's 12:30."

"So."

"I was supposed to meet Laurence at 12:30."

"So call and cancel."  I felt him lean up and kiss my forehead.

"As much as I would love to stay here with you all day, I can't.  I got an
album to record."

"Yeah, I know, it was just a thought."  And that for me was reality setting
in.

"I'll be back Richie, I really will.  You can stay here if you want, I
don't mind."  And even though he sounded sincere enough, I didn't want to
spend the entire day by myself.

"I believe you and thanks but I think I'll go over to Michaels."

He lifted my head and looked straight at me, "you sure?"  I could hear the
concern in his voice and I wanted nothing more than to reassure him.

"Yeah, maybe we could go out again tonight or I could cook for you."

"Yeah, that's a plan."  He stopped then said, "No, nix that, I can't."

"Studio time?"  I asked.

He nodded and wrapped his arms around me.  "I know that you probably didn't
expect to sign up for this man."

I quickly interjected, "No, I did.  I know that your career is important to
you and I'm not about to put you in a position to second rate it."  He
seemed relieved when I said that but didn't say anything.

"You should get going.  I think I'll stick around a while and then I'll
call Michael for a ride."

He leaned into me and kissed me again, this time smack dab on the lips.
And I swore I almost cried when we detached.

I climbed off of him and watched as he got out of bed and went into the
bathroom leaving me feeling like the bereaved widower.





I couldn't explain it, I didn't know how to.  What happened last night was
of my own making and even though these feelings were new to me, I had to
admit that for the first time in a long time I felt - something.  I
couldn't pin an emotion on it but I knew that whatever it was, it was there
because of Richie.  Last night and again this morning had been incredible.
Never before have I felt the need, the desire to be with one person and I
had to admit it scared the shit out of me.  I had practically given away my
rights to be single and although I was feeling pretty good about that
decision, I couldn't help but think that saying a few words and actually
living them were two different things.  I hadn't planned for things to go
this far or this fast but now that they had, I had to come up with a plan
quick.  As the water caressed down my body, I closed my eyes and forced all
my thoughts aside.  I had work to do, work that I wouldn't allow my
feelings to interfere with.



"So." He said looking at me as we came to a stoplight.

"So." I mimicked not looking forward to venturing there with him, not yet
anyway.

"What happened last night?"

"Nothing."  I answered.  The light changed and he accelerated across an
intersection.

"You guys fucked again didn't you!?!"  He stated accusingly causing me to
turn a beet red.

"What!"

"It's all over your fucking face."

"Whatever Michael.  I'm not even going to get into this with you right
now."  And even though I said it, I didn't mean it.  I wanted to tell him
what had gone down and how I felt about it.

"Was it good?"

"I'm not hearing this right now."  I said covering my hands with my ears.

"It was, you dirty dog!"  And I couldn't help but let a smile escape.  And
if he wasn't sure about what went down before, he was sure now.

An irremovable smile stayed plastered on his face for the duration of our
ride home.  When he pulled into the driveway I couldn't help but think that
this time two days ago I was unsure of where Bobby and I stood.  We were
just at an awkward phase in our lives and now, now we both had defined what
we were, a couple, a couple in a relationship.  The thought had me smiling
even harder.

"Well I'm happy if you are."  I turned to face him, shock at what he had
just said written all over my face.  Michael actually happy that I was with
Bobby!

He picked up on my reaction and rolled his eyes, "what!  You think I don't
have a heart or something?"

"Yes!"  I cried.

"Well I do and besides, if it finally gets you out of this fucked up state
you've been in, well, enough said."

"Whatever Michael."  I stated getting out and walking towards his front
door.  Not two seconds later as we walked in did my cell phone ring.

"Hello."

"You don't seem to be taking me seriously at all are you?"  The voice on
the other end of the line stated.

I didn't have to guess who it was.

I walked away from Michael and into my room where I promptly closed the
door.  "Why are you calling me Ernie?  I did what you wanted."

"Like hell you did.  You think I'm an ass Richie?  You think you can try to
pull one over on me and I won't know?"

"I didn't try to pull one over on you.  I quit!"

"Big fucking deal!  You're still in the picture and I want you gone, gone,
you hear me!"  By this time he was screaming and I could feel the sweat
begin to cascade down my neck like a leaky faucet.

"What are you expecting to happen Richie?  What do you expect to achieve by
pulling these little stunts of yours.  Jamaica!  You fucking up and go to
Jamaica!"

"You said if I quit you would stop this, this nonsense.  Well I quit my
job, what the hell more do you want from me!"

He laughed, "What I want.  What I want!  What I want is for you to get out
of this fucking picture completely.  I want you gone Richie.  As far away
from Robert Knight as is humanly possible.  You don't belong with him, you
don't belong anywhere near him."

And the mere thought of never seeing Bobby again had me saying words that I
didn't even know I could say, "Listen to me you fucking piece of discarded
shit, I am not gonna be jerked around by you anymore.  If you think that
these visits and phone calls of yours are gonna get you whatever your
fucked up mind wants then you can forget it.  And if you think you're so
bad, sell those pictures to the tabloids.  Go ahead but let me warn your
ass.  If you try in anyway to fuck up Bobbys' career, I will personally see
to it that you never see the sun again because I will hunt you down and
kill you."

The line went silent for a while and then, "oh, you got some balls now.
Keep it up Richie, keep it up.  Just remember, you've been warned."  I then
heard a dial tone.

"Shit!"  I called out throwing the phone against the bedroom door.  I took
a seat on the bed and placed my hands on my head.  I wouldn't allow him to
ruin the man that i loved, not after we had gotten this far and things were
beginning to fall into place this well.  And I actually shocked myself with
the fact that I was prepared to take any necessary action to protect him,
even if it meant giving up my own life and freedom to save his.



I had been watching him the whole day, seeing his change in attitude,
seeing him go from ecstatic to a mute and it worried me.

"Richie are you ok?"

"Yes."  He answered.

"The fuck you are!  Talk to me man, maybe I can help."

"Just leave me alone Michael.  I don't need your goddamn help!"  And with
that he took coverage in his room once again.  This was not the Richie that
I knew.  The soft spoken, softhearted son of a bitch that kept me in tune
to the fact that I had a conscience.  And then it dawned on me that
everything was perfectly fine before the phone call that he had gotten the
minute we arrived.  Could it have been Bobby calling to change his mind
about their arrangement?  The thought alone had me ready to call him and
cuss him the fuck out but somehow I doubted that.  If that were it, I would
have known, tears would have been shed, something would have been said.

I felt helpless to the fact that something was bothering him and there was
nothing I could say or do to change that.






"You sounded good man, real good."  I looked up to see Laurence standing
before me with a big smile etched upon his face.

"Thanks man, I feel good."

"So what's up?"

"Meaning?" I asked not quite sure what he meant.

"Meaning, you come in here face shining and your voice on point and the
music banging.  What, you done met a nice little Jamaican girl that we
don't know about."

"No, I didn't meet a nice Jamaican girl.  I'm just relaxed and I'm finally
getting my shit together."

He didn't seem to believe me when he said, "uh-huh, well keep it up."  And
then walked out leaving me by myself to write some new lyrics.

Even I could hear the difference today than on any other day.  My vocal
range was up there and the passion and depth that had been missing was back
full force.  And I knew who to thank for that.  He was on my mind when I
was singing and it was like I wanted to go as far as I could with what I
had.

Once again my thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of my cell.

"Hello."

"Hey baby boy."  The pencil in my hand snapped in half at my own doing and
I silently cursed under my breath.

"What the hell do you want man?"

"What, you got no love for your homeboys?"

"No, I ain't got no love for you.  Why you calling me?"

"Because we got an arrangement that ain't finished yet, you feel me.  We
got to get this shit settled and we got to get it settled today."

The tone of his voice had me on edge, "Listen to me Ernie, we ain't got no
business together, you got that!  I don't want to talk to your monkey ass
and I don't want you bothering Greg and Laurence either because they don't
control shit, I do."

"Then you should have no problem with getting to me what is rightfully
owed."

"I'm not paying you a red cent Ernie, not one red cent, you got that."

"So you're telling me you're willing to screw up your entire career for a
cool mil that you could probably make back in a year."

"Yeah."  I hoped I sounded more confident than I felt.

"Ok and what about your boy Richie."

"What about him?"

"You willing to screw up his life as well."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Well how much effort do you think it will take for a major news network to
digest the shit I'm willing to dish out after I'm done with you?  Because I
can guarantee it won't take much.  I'll have Entertainment Tonight, Access
Hollywood, MTV, BET, VH1 and CNN riling against one another to get the real
scoop about Richie and his little friend.  And by the time I'm done with
him, he won't have a friend left.  You'll have ever muthafucker with a gun
and a kid looking for him.  Are you willing to put your 'friend' through
that over a million dollars Bobby?"

I didn't believe him, I didn't want to believe him but could I really take
that chance?

"You got no right to be making that kinda request from me.  I never cheated
your ass, not once."

"Well I say you did and I want restitution.  We had a good arrangement man,
a real good arrangement and you had to go and fuck it up.  I had you making
more money than any other sucka and your ungrateful ass repays me how?  You
ditched my ass, penniless and jobless.  What, you expected me to sit back
and watch as you moved up the ladder while I was stuck at the bottom - fuck
that!  You will pay me what I'm owed or you and your faggot friend will get
what's coming to you."  I heard the dial tone in my ear.  I quickly snapped
the phone shut.

My options were getting limited and limited by the second.  If I decided to
stand up and fight this, I would have to watch all that I worked for go
down the tube.  And if that weren't enough, I would have to sit back and
watch them pick Richies' life apart, bit-by-bit.  The thought frightened
me.  And at that moment, a million seemed like a small price to pay to keep
the pieces in this puzzle glued tightly together.





"I thought you had to be in the studio tonight?"  I asked as I ushered
Bobby into Michaels' apartment.  I wasn't expecting to see him tonight at
all so I stood in front of him, a total mess.

"Well, um, something came up and I thought that maybe we could go to dinner
or maybe back to my place."  The glint in his eye when he said the latter
was unmistakable.

"Well I didn't expect you tonight and I was just gonna go to bed."  'What
was I saying' my mind screamed.  The man was asking me to go home with him
again for undoubtedly another night of great sex filled with passion and I
was finding stupid excuses not to go.

But Bobby being Bobby was not taking no for an answer.  "Well get a few of
your stuff and come home with me, I got plenty bed space.  Please"

And that puppy dog look he was giving sent me over the edge and into his
arms.  I held unto him tightly, refusing to let go.  Suddenly my body began
to convulse and for no apparent I began to sob.

He held me even tighter and gently rubbed the nape of my neck with one hand
while holding me with the other.  "What's bothering you baby?  What's
wrong?"

I couldn't speak, too confused to explain what I was feeling and too shell
shocked by his term of endearment.

"Talk to me Richie, please.  I ask you to come home with me and you start
crying.  Did I say something wrong?  Is this about the way I acted this
morning?"

I shook my head not wanting him to misinterpret what was happening.  It
wasn't anything he said or did, it wasn't even him, it was me and the power
I had to make or break his career with every move I made.

"Are you afraid of something?  Do you think I'm gonna change my mind about
us, because I won't.  I'm gonna give this relationship a fair try.  We both
deserve that much."

His words somewhat calmed me and my sobs turned into little baby whimpers
that shook my shoulders ever so often and after a few minutes, I stopped
crying all together.  He pulled back from me and held unto my shoulders.
His eyes met and held mine and he raised a hand to wipe away the tears he
saw there.  The aftermath of this left me feeling embarrassed at the way I
had acted only moments before.

"You want some water or something?"  He asked finally letting go of my
shoulders, instead taking one of my hands in his.

I shook my head and gave his hand a squeeze to ensure him that I was ok.

"I came over here to ask you out and you break down and cry.  You ready to
talk to me Richie?  You can tell me anything you want to, I want you to
know that."  His voice held so much sincerity that I was tempted to cry
again but that would have been too melodramatic, even for me.

I led him over to the couch and told him to sit down.  He did and opened
his legs wider as he realized what I had in mind.  I settled between them,
and with my back to him, i laid my head on his chest and wrapped both his
hands around my stomach.  I just wanted him here with me, in my arms just
being there.  We didn't even have to talk.

All of a sudden he started singing.  At first I couldn't pick up what song
it was until:

Ben, the two of us need look no more
We both found what we were looking for
With a friend to call my own
I'll never be alone
And you my friend will see
You got a friend in me

The tears started again and I was grateful that Bobby just let them fall.
And the thought hit me, 'I was actually being serenaded by Bobby':

Ben most people would turn you away
I don't listen to a word they say
They don't see you as I do
I wish they would try too
I'm sure they'd think again
If they had a friend like Ben

As the song came to a close, he started to hum it while caressing my hands
in his.  My eyes closed and I allowed all the thoughts in my head to
subside, at least for the moment.


By the time I had finished humming, Richie was fast asleep in my arms, just
like a baby.  I took the opportunity to just enjoy the moment.  I let all
the negative energy brought on by Ernie's phone call leave my head for the
time being and held my man tight.  It felt different calling him that, not
only because I was a guy and so was he but also because he was and still is
my best friend.

The opening of the door broke me out of thought I turned my head to see
Michael stepping in.  He looked over at the couch and saw me.  For a moment
I actually thought he was gonna say something but instead, he just smiled
and winked.  I returned a smile of my own and laid my head on the headrest,
falling fast asleep within minutes.



I had come home preparing to have to deal with Richie's attitude but
instead found that it had already been dealt with.  Having Robert Knight on
my couch with his 'lover' in tow was not something I could have ever
predicated but I was glad it had come to pass.  If there was one thing I
wanted more than anything, it was for Richie to get the happiness that he
deserved.  And to see him, in the arms of the man he had pinning away for
made me realize what I had allowed to get away from me.  That sweet picture
in my living room could have been Richie and me, so content, so happy, so
emotionally connected with each other or it could have been me and Adam.
And even as the thought appeared, I quickly shook it away for no matter how
sweet all of that appeared to be, it just wasn't me.  I could never be just
content, just happy, just emotionally connected with someone.  I could
never settle for just being.  If I were to ever settle down, I had to be
truly content, truly happy and truly emotionally connected to someone and
so far, no one had fit the bill.  Not Richie, not Adam and most importantly
not me.

ANOTHER CHAPTER HERE.  SORRY IF IT SEEMS A BIT SHORT.  THANKS TO ALL THAT
RESPONDED TO THE LAST CHAPTER, I REALLY APPRECIATE IT AND LOOK FORWARD TO
HEARING FROM YOU AGAIN, ALSO TO THOSE THAT I HAVEN'T HEARD FROM IN A LONG
TIME, PLEASE EMAIL AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK.  THANKS FOR THE
CONTINUED SUPPORT...