Date: Fri, 5 Nov 2004 21:13:28 EST
From: JuilianJ@aol.com
Subject: story of us part 35

THE STORY OF US
BY: Julien

This story is 100% fictional and is by no means depictive of the life of
any person, place or thing.  It contains sexual activities between males
and should only be read if it is legal to do so in your area.  Read at your
own risk and enjoy.  Comments are welcomed and would be very much
appreciated.  ENJOY!

I would like to thank my editor Frank for doing such a great job on editing
- thanks a lot man...


MICHAEL

I had done my best to get Adam out of the funk he had been in but to no
avail.  This was something that I had no expertise in and I didn't know how
to make things better.  He had been stationed at the hospital for nearly
two weeks straight and refused to leave.  On more than one occasion I had
to come down and drag his ass home to take a shower or to get a decent
meal.  Of course, all of this was understandable considering what had
happened.  We had been in therapy for about three and a half months and had
finally progressed to a point where we both felt that it was time to jump
over that last hurdle.  I wasn't sure if I was completely ready to meet his
mother but ready or not, it was going to happen.  And it did.  We met and
contrary to my thoughts, it wasn't the hellish experience that I would have
predicated.  She was a sweetheart who loved me like a son and seemed to be
able to relate to me better than Adam could.  I guess this is why it was so
hard for me to see Adam like this, to see him falling to pieces over what
happened.  It wasn't anybody's fault, not mine, not Adam's and contrary to
popular belief, not the shitty Medicare system.  It was just one of those
things.

"A stroke?  She's only 51!  How the hell is that possible?"  Those had been
his words when he found out that she had been admitted to St Vincent's
Medical Center after a fainting spell in Bloomingdales.  He had been on
call at the hospital and I had been on my new job for only a month and a
half, unable to get time off to show her around.  Being the kind of woman
she was, she had pointedly let me know that she was a grown woman who
didn't need a chaperone, contrary to what Adam believed.  And with that
assurance, and despite a promise to Adam that I would indeed take the day
off, I let her go off by herself.  Guilt racked my body at the outcome and
I regretted not keeping that promise.  Now all I could do was watch
helplessly from the sidelines as Adam stood over her bed, lightly stroking
her arm and quietly whispering words of encouragement in her ear.

"Mom, I love you much.  Please, please come out of this.  I need you."  His
words were laced with sorrow and I felt powerless to do anything about it.
He must have stood over that bed for what seemed like hours before I had to
finally pull him away.  That had been two weeks ago and while her prognosis
had remained the same, his attitude towards the situation and me had
changed drastically.  While in the beginning, he had been relating to the
doctors fairly well, the communication between them had deteriorated so bad
that Adam wasn't allowed within 10ft of his mother's room without the
doctor's permission.  And while in the beginning he had remained quiet
towards me, not expressing emotion, now he had become more vocalized about
who the blame should be placed on.

"You were supposed to fucking watch her Michael!  You fucking lied to me!"
He had screamed at me, two days ago when I tried to tell him the doctor's
were doing the best they could.

"She said she didn't need my company.  She `s a grown woman Adam and..."

He cut me off in mid sentence, "she doesn't know what she needs.  I'm her
son!  I know what she needs!"

And since that argument, I had been residing on the couch, unable to break
through the barrier that he had set up.  The only reason why I was even
here today in the hospital room with him was because those were the only
conditions that the doctor would allow him to be in here.  He wouldn't even
look at me as he turned away from her still body and wiped his eyes across
his shirt sleeve.  I wanted so bad to walk up to him, hold him and tell him
everything would be ok but I knew that now was neither the time nor the
place to try and make amends.  He was still heated and the last thing
anyone, especially his mother needed was to sense that things were amiss.
The opening of the door drew me out of thought and I turned to see who had
entered.

"Michael, Adam, I hate to do this but she needs her rest.  Maybe you two
should go home and try and get some rest" and even though he mentioned both
of us in his statement, he was looking at me when he said it.

Adam turned around and glared at the doctor, his eyes red rimmed and wide,
as if they were ready to hunt prey.  It was a side of Adam that I had not
known before and needless to say it was a bit intimidating.

"I'll stay in the waiting room.  Michael can leave."  His words cut through
me like a knife and I found myself having to hold my tongue.

"Ok, but I should advise you that you're being here, in this condition can
only harm both your mother and yourself.  She may not be conscious but
studies show that even in deep comas, patients are able to sense when
something is not right.  And from one doctor to another, the well being of
the patient always comes first."

For a few minutes, Adam didn't respond and then,

"I'll be back first thing tomorrow morning."  And with that, he leaned into
his mother, kissed her temple, and walked past the both of us as if we
didn't exist.

The doctor gave me a sympathetic look and turned to watch as Adam walked
out, gently closing the door behind him.

"I'm sorry," I began to apologize only to be cut of by the doctor's words,

"It's ok Michael.  I understand.  I've seen this type of behavior arise in
such situations.  It's quite normal to say the least and unfortunately, it
takes time for things to work themselves out."

I shook my head in agreement and sighed.  He may have been familiar with
this type of behavior but I was not.  I was not used to having someone I
loved treat me as if I didn't exist and not having a clue on how to fix the
situation.  The old me would have just packed up and moved on without as
much as a look back but I had changed and so had my attitude.  No matter
what shit he heaped on me, I just couldn't see myself walking out on him.
Not for any reason in the world.  But deep down I knew that if things
continued the way they were going, I would be liable to fuck up the
situation even more by doing or saying something that would no doubt add
fire to the flames.

"It's hard being a doctor and being powerless, you know?  We're supposed to
be the curer of all the world's diseases and yet, no matter how good we
are, we can't save everyone.  Adam knows this.  It's a doctor's greatest
realization.  Just don't take it personally, ok?  It's a hard thing to have
that someone you can't save be your mother.

  And with that, he put his hand on my arm, took a squeeze and with the
words `see you later', he opened the door and walked out of the room.  His
words did nothing to quell the anxiety in me and I found myself once again
looking to Mrs. Baruch for answers.  Walking up to her bedside, I took the
seat beside her and gently took her hand in mine.

"Hey Estelle, its Michael.  How are you doing?  I--I--I'm so sorry about
not being there for you when I was supposed to.  If I were, then this
wouldn't have happened.  I'm so sorry."  And at that point, my voice began
to crack and I found myself having to take a drink of water from the
plastic jog that lay by her bedside.

"I care about your son very much and I think...no, I know that I love him.
It's taken me a while to realize it but I have realized it."  I don't know
what I was expecting but I somehow hoped that my declaration may have
somehow caused her to come out of her coma.

It didn't.

I let out a sigh and released her hand.  I was exhausted and I needed to
get something in my stomach on the worst way.  I stood over her unmoving
body, leaned in and kissed her forehead whispering, "I hope you got that
Estelle."  And with that, I turned around and walked out of her room, out
of the hospital and made my way towards home.



Upon entering the house, my initial thought was that Adam had left to
either go back to the hospital or for a walk to be by himself and away from
me, but upon closer inspection, I saw that the darkness that had enveloped
the house only hid his slumped figure in the couch.  I flipped on a nearby
light and walked over to him.  He didn't look up as I approached but rather
continued to stare straight ahead in the direction of the big screen
television.

"Adam, you ok?"  I asked, leaning down to touch his shoulder only to have
him swiftly move from my grasp.

"Don't fucking touch me Michael!"  He hissed, continuing to move his body
to the end of the couch.  I withdrew my hand, feeling the sting of his
words and placed them in my pockets.

"Adam..." I started and stopped as his gaze found itself focused on me.
The intense look he gave me provided me with a sense of foreboding and I
wanted nothing more than to walk out of the room.  Those were my thoughts
but not my actions.  I reached for him again and gripped his shoulder
tightly, refusing to be pushed away again.

"Adam let me help you, please."  I started and stopped as he did something
I neither expected nor foresaw.  He stood up with my hand still on his
shoulder and turned to me,

"Let me go."  He growled, his eyes trained on me as if to attack.

But I wasn't going to let him go, not figuratively or literally.  We were
going to duke it out right here and now.

"No.  I'm not going to sit back and watch you do this to yourself and do
this to our relationship.  Not after all the shit we had to go through to
get here."  My words were forceful and stern and they let Adam know that I
had reached my breaking point.  It was either we tried to work through this
together, or...

"You fucking take your hands off of me or else I'll..."  I didn't let him
get any farther before I cut in.

"Or else what.  You're going to hit me Adam?  You want a fight?  Cause if
you do, you got one!  If it fucking makes you feel better then by all means
beat the shit out of me, please.  Hit me Adam!  Fucking hit me!"  And to my
surprise, instead of hitting me, he stood straight and tall in front of me
and broke down.  Tears streamed down his face unapologetically and his body
shook with each whimper.  I didn't know whether to cry or laugh so instead,
I did the only thing I could.  I held him in my arms.  He melted into me so
easily that I had to swallow the knot that had begun to develop in my
throat.

"Oh baby, its ok, its ok.  Get it all out."  I encouraged as I gently ran
my hand through his hair.  This seemed to soothe him as each sound that
escaped his lips seemed to become less hysterical.  I didn't know if I was
more relieved or somewhat confused at what was transpiring.  Some might
have thought his reaction to be somewhat inconsistent but I didn't know
what to think.  I didn't want to think, period.  His arms slowly made their
way around my waist and his head gently found a comfortable spot on my
shoulder to nestle in.  His sudden neediness for me brought a flutter to my
already fragile heart and it made me want to say a thousand things to him
but the moment seemed to take care of itself and words seemed unnecessary.
And as we continued to stand there holding each other, my only thought was
this, `God, thank you!'




His eyes seemed reluctant to meet mine as we sat across from each other at
the dining room table.  After his sudden burst of affection had passed, he
withdrew from me both physically and mentally, keeping his distance.  The
good news in all of this was that the hostility that had been present
before had all but vanished, but it had been replaced with a sense of
uncertainty.  Nothing was set in stone and I didn't know if this change in
emotion meant that things between us were magically alright again or
whether or not this was a fleeting moment that would soon enough pass,
leaving him once again throwing dagger lined looks my way.

"Adam...can we talk?"  The uncertainness in my voice sounded strange to my
ears and I had to clear my throat and ask him again, this time, with more
pep in my step.

"Adam, I think we should talk about...things."

I watched as his eyes cautiously met mine and held them.  I tried to read
their expression but nothing was emanating out of them, nothing that would
tell me where we stood.

"I know that things are at a point right now where the priority is and
should be on your mom.  I respect that, but I feel as if...I feel as if
you're shutting me out."  I paused, hoping for a response, any response
from him, but all I was greeted with was the sound of silence.

I continued, "I love you babe.  I want to be there for you.  I want to be
there for Estelle too.  I feel as if I've known her forever and I know that
she holds me in high regard.  I never would have thought it possible to
feel so much admiration for the woman who gave birth to the most wonderful
man I have ever had the opportunity to love.  But it has become possible.
I feel for you things that I have never, ever felt for another man Adam.  I
know that for the first time in my life I feel unconditional, romantic love
for someone else and that someone else is you.  You invested in me at a
time when all I did was cause you heartache.  You pushed for us to be
together so hard baby and I pushed right back for us to be apart.  You
fought for our relationship a while ago and now, I want to be the one to
fight for it, to fight for you.  I can't imagine my life without you in it
Adam.  I don't want to imagine my life without you in it."  By the end of
my speech, I could feel the scratchiness in my throat that could only come
from the sudden onset of emotion.  I could feel my eyes begin to water and
had to restrain myself, wanting to hide such a physical manifestation of
emotion.

I didn't know the response I was expecting but being greeted with silence
seemed not to be one of them.  He just sat across from me, his eyes holding
mine steady but not saying or doing anything.  I felt as if my heart would
burst out of my chest so I attempted to do what I always did when the going
gets tough.  I tried to walk away.

I got as far as pulling my chair away from the table before the first bowl
went flying past my head, smashing into the cream colored wall behind me.
I was frightened as hell, not knowing if I was the intended target but the
sudden reoccurrence and ultimate repetition of this action, strangely
reassured me that this was just something that he needed to do.  It was not
meant to hurt himself or me, rather, it was meant to release the pent up
quarry of emotions that had built itself up in his system.  When all was
quiet again, his side of the table was cleared and his composure had become
less rigid and more human.  He wasn't in tears this time but his breathing
was heavy and his face was heated.  I was unsure what to say to him, if
anything, but he soon took that decision out of my hands by whispering the
words I had hoped to hear at the beginning of all of this,

"Hold me."  And I did.  I crossed the room and went to his side, taking him
into my arms and doing the one thing he had ever asked of me in our
relationship.  I held him.



TWO WEEKS LATER

The call that we had both been waiting for had finally come.  It brought
with it a sense of relief and the cloud of uncertainty that had hung over
us for the past month and a half was finally able to dissolve.

"She's awake, Adam, Michael.  She came out of the coma 12:51 this morning
and she's asking for you, both of you."  Those had been the doctor's words
as Adam and I had both clung to the small cellular phone that Adam kept on
him for on call emergencies.  We had been driving around in my car, looking
for some hole in the wall place up in Harlem that sold herbal medicine when
the call came in.  It took all of my coordination skills to keep driving on
the right hand side of the road while trying to listen in on what the
doctor was saying.  And though the logical thing would have been for me to
pull over into one of the many gas stations that lined the streets, logic
was just not that high up on my list of priorities.

Looking over at Adam, I saw that he had once again gone quiet on me but
unlike times in the past when this meant he was brooding, I knew deep down
that his silence now meant that his mind was focused on where it should
have been, his mother.  I subconsciously reached over with my one free hand
and squeezed his thigh, which elicited a small smile from his lips.

"She's awake babe and she's going to be ok.  Your mom is a fighter."  And
with those words, I managed to keep that smile on his face until we arrived
at the hospital.  Before I could even put the car in park, Adam was up and
running towards the entrance, disappearing through the automatic sliding
doors and down a corridor.  I shut off the engine and hurriedly followed
suit, managing to catch a glimpse of him as he turned into Estelle's room.
As I neared it, I literally ran head long into Estelle's doctor.

"Slow down cowboy.  She's not getting up and walking out of here anytime
soon."  The humor in his statement had me letting out a jovial laugh that
somehow seemed foreign to my ears.

"Thanks doc.  We really appreciate what you've done for her.  I know Adam
couldn't be happier."

"Well I'm glad to help, Michael.  It's my job and it's a great feeling to
be able to help someone get on their feet again.  Estelle has to take most
of the credit though.  If it wasn't for her valiant effort and strong will
to stay with us, then all of my efforts would have been useless.  She's a
strong woman."

I agreed wholeheartedly and I told him so.  We chatted for a bit about what
the next step for Estelle was and then he excused himself after receiving a
page over the intercom.  I watched him walk briskly down the hall.  I then
turned my attention to the door in front of me.  Looking through it, I saw
Adam huddled over his mother, his face lowered and the back of a hand, her
hand, gently gliding across his cheek.  It was a tender moment that brought
a warm feeling to my body.  I wasn't sure if I wanted to interrupt the
moment but the decision was made for me when Estelle looked over to where I
stood and mouthed the words, `come in'.  I slowly opened the door and
stepped into the room, letting the door close behind me with a thud,
something which alerted Adam to my presence.  He looked up at me and
actually sent a small smile my way.

"Hey Estelle, how are you doing?"  I questioned, hoping that my voice would
not let on how hard this was for me.  The guilt that racked my body was
indescribable and I found myself wiping sweat off my palms and unto my
pants as if it were the actual guilt pouring from my pores and by wiping my
hands on my pants, it would suddenly disappear.

"Michael.  Oh Michael.  How...are...you" her speech was a bit slurred and
her mouth twisted with each word, but that hardly stopped her from trying
to communicate with me.  I stood beside Adam and reached for her hand.

"I'm fine.  You look good Estelle.  beautiful." I stated.

"Liar."  She responded with humor laced in her voice.

"You do mom."  Adam started, "you look, gorgeous."

"And so do you... sweetheart, both... of you.  My two gor...geous sons."
Her statement touched me and I couldn't help but squeeze her fragile hand
within my palm.

"This is...the man I want for you Adam.  He'll take care...of you after I'm
gone."

"Don't talk like that mom, please.  You're not going anywhere ok.  You've
got many more years with us so don't talk like that."  His voice had begun
to crack so I did the one thing I knew would comfort him.  I took his hand
in mine and rubbed my thumb across the upper side of his palm.  He didn't
turn to look at me then, but the fact that he gently squeezed my hand told
me that he appreciated the gesture.

"Adam, you were always such a rom...a...ntic.  Such a dreamer, my son the
dreamer." Estelle whispered.  She then paused, turned to me and continued
with, "Michael, I hope you appreciate the gift I've...given...you."

"I do Estelle, I really do."  And that was the truth of the matter.  I did
realize how precious a gift Adam was.  It was this realization that kept
leading me to fight for what we had.

"I'm...glad...I..."  I watched as her mouth slowly closed and her eyelids
become heavy until finally, they shut completely.  If it weren't for her
heavy breathing, I might have thought that she were dead.

"She's still so weak."  His words were barely spoken above a whisper and it
was as if they were spoken as reassurance to himself, rather than me.  I
responded to them anyway.

"We should probably let her rest then.  It's been a long day."

"I don't want to leave her."  Adam started to say before I cut in.

"Babe, she's not going anywhere.  She's proven her resilience to us.
She'll be right here waiting for you in the morning.  You need to rest up
or you won't be any use to her or to anyone else."  My words must have
found reason within him for he whispered an `ok', bent down to kiss her
cheek and then turned to me.

"Would you mind if we went somewhere..." his voice was again, above a
whisper and even though he hadn't said but a few words, I was able to read
between the lines.

"Sure babe, we'll go somewhere."  And with that I took his hands in mine
and we left.


We sat on a bench overlooking the Hudson River and even though the
temperature had begun to drop, we were both reluctant to move from our
spot.  I turned to look at Adam and was quite surprised to find that he was
staring straight at me.

"What?"  I asked cautiously.  We still weren't where we needed to be and I
wasn't sure where I stood with him.  He hadn't gone off on me in a while
but that told me nothing.

"Thanks..." he started to say tentatively, "for being there.  I never
expected it but for once I was glad to be wrong."  And with those words, he
took my hand in his and squeezed it.  That single squeeze sent a jolt of
electricity riding up my arm and I couldn't help but feel warm all over.  I
leaned into him, and with my free hand, I caressed the side of his face.

"I love you Adam, and even though it took me so long to realize it, know
that I have realized it.  I'm in this with you for the long haul." I stated
just before bringing my face closer to his and connecting our lips.  I
closed my eyes and savored the moment as his warmth transferred itself to
me.  And I couldn't help but think, `God.  This is so right!'.





BOBBY

I had tried to get Richie to come with me but he insisted that I do this on
my own.  At first I couldn't understand why, but standing here looking out
at the crowd, I was beginning to understand.  There would be times when I
would have to face folks and he wouldn't always be there to watch out for
me.  And now was as good a time as any to try and do it on my own.  I felt
a tap on my shoulder and turned around.

"Hey man, glad you made it.  We're all excited to see you up and about."
It was Laurence and I had to admit that I was happy to see him.

"I'm happy to be up and about man.  Come over here and give me some love."
And with that, I pulled him into my arms and held on to him.

"Jesus Bobby, we've missed you."  He whispered into my ears.

"I've missed you guys too.  It's been long, too damn long."  We separated
and we walked over to the bar where I ordered a coke and Laurence a gin and
tonic.

"So..." he started, "how are things between you and Richie?"  And just
hearing his name brought a smile to my face.

"Things are cool.  He's been real strong through all of this, ya know."

"I know.  Richie's stronger than we all give him credit for.  I'm surprised
you didn't bring him here tonight."

I had to smile at that, "yeah, well the invite was extended to him but he
decided to just let me handle this alone.  Thought I'd have to venture out
by myself at some point in time so why not now."

Laurence nodded in agreement and patted my back.

"Well I've got to say that so far you've been doing well kid."

"Thanks."

"And since you seem to be holding up, I want to make an intro to the guest
of honor.  This kid is so hot right now that he's gonna rivaling your
record sales soon.  I also know that he's a big fan of yours.  Been asking
about you all night.  He even asked me to step a proposal to you."  And as
if on cue, a lean brother with braids appeared beside Laurence and extended
his hand.  The kid was about my height, 6'2 and seemed to weigh around 180
or so.  His skin was a dark caramel complexion and his matching dimples
extended out of his face and greeted me like two stars on a dark night.  He
was a good-looking dude but I wasn't about to tell him that.  I took his
hand in mine and shook it.

"Damn bro, it's such an honor to be meeting you.  You're like royalty and
shit around my peeps." he stated, refusing to let my hand go.  And I had to
admit that I was surprised that I was still considered royalty among anyone
after all the shit that had come out about me.

"Well I appreciate it bro.  I heard your CD and I gotta tell you that it's
pretty tight.  I especially like track number two, it's creative as shit
man."

His smile seemed to widen if that was possible and for a moment, I thought
he was going to pass out.

"Thanks Mr. Knight, I appreciate it.  Coming from you, that means a lot
man."

"It's Bobby."  I corrected.

"Ok, Bobby.  Wow, I can't believe I'm finally meeting you.  I was telling
Laurence that I had to meet you to see if you'd like to sing some tunes on
one of my upcoming tracks, but he done told me that you retired."

"Well, it's true.  I'm sorry about that but there are many good artists
Laurence could recommend..." I started only to be cut off mid sentence.

"Well, would you be interested in producing a few of my new tracks?  The
producer on my last joint decided to up and leave and he left me high and
dry."

"I don't know man.  I'm not into that aspect of the biz."  And even though
I had help produce a few of my earlier tracks, I never foresaw myself doing
it for anybody else.

"Well that's cool man but the offer still stands.  I don't have to be in
the studio for three more months.  Laurence has my number in case you wanna
reconsider.  It's a pleasure meeting you man."  And with that, he was led
away by his entourage.

Laurence turned to me and smiled.

"What?"  I questioned.

"Go for it." he stated.

"Go for what?"

"Don't bullshit me Bobby.  I'm your friend ok.  I see it in your face that
you miss the game.  You want in and knowing you, you won't give in to that
urge.  So here is an opportunity for you to still be in the game without
having your shit up in everyone's face."  His face had turned serious now
and that for some reason bugged me.

"Don't start up with me Laurence.  I told you I'm done and I mean with
music, period.  Whether it be singing, directing or producing, I'm done
with all of it.  I had my fill and now it's time for me to give someone
else a chance.

He held up his hand in defense.

"Ok, I won't push the issue but I think you should think about it at least.
You have talent Bobby and I'd hate to see it get wasted because some piece
of shit like Ernie.  You're an original man and there can be no other like
you.  Promise me you'll think about it, please.  And don't do it for me, do
it for you."

And I had to admit that he was right.  I did miss this, all of this.

"Fair enough, I'll think about it but don't be expecting me to change my
mind anytime soon."

"Fair enough.  But listen man, I've got to present this cat to the audience
so I'm gonna leave you here to get reacquainted with some people.  You
gonna be ok?"

"Yeah man, I'll be fine.  Thanks."  And with that, I watched as he walked
away from me and into the crowd.  I looked around and even though I noticed
a few people, most if not all of them seemed to be steering clear of my
direction.  I wasn't an idiot by any means so I knew what thoughts must
have been floating around in their heads.  But having been through what
I've been through, it didn't faze me one bit.  I didn't really give a damn
what they thought about me or Richie.  A matter of a fact, I felt as If I
was ready to blow out.  It had been a long night and I wanted nothing more
than to take Richie in my arms, pull him close and tell him how much I
loved and valued him.  My boy had been there for me through so much shit
and was still holding down the fort while I tried to put the pieces of my
life back together.  And it made me proud to be able to come out and tell
the world just where his place was and how I felt about him.

I pulled out my cell phone and dialed my home number and it was as if my
heart skipped a beat when I heard his voice on the other end.

"Hello."

"Hey babe, it's me."

"Bobby, how's everything going?  Are you ok?  Did something happen?"

I was quick to reassure him that all was well, "I just wanted to hear your
voice Richie.  I miss you man.  I had fun tonight but I feel like I need to
be with you right now."  And for some reason, I couldn't control the tight
feeling that overcame my chest, made my throat a bit scratchy and my eyes
watery.

"It's ok baby, just jump in a cab or I can jump in a cab and meet you
there."

"You'd do that wouldn't you?"  I questioned, a smile creeping up on my
face.

"For you hun, I'd do anything."  He whispered.

And as I walked for the exit, forgoing all the stares that followed, the
only reply I could muster up was "the feeling's mutual."


SIX MONTHS LATER

RICHIE

It's been a hell of a ride, but what can I say except that I wouldn't
change anything for the world.  It's been over a year since Bobby started
physical therapy and even though he'll probably never be exactly the way he
was before in terms of his range of motion and physical strength, he has
made so much progress that Charlene predicts he'll return to 85% normality
by the end of next year if he keeps up with his sessions and if there
aren't any unforeseen setbacks.  Bobby doesn't seem to mind it too much as
he's been busy as of late producing a number of tracks for Kid K, the
artist whose release party he attended a couple of months ago.  And even
though he vowed to both me and Laurence never to do music again, it became
a hard thing for him to resist once cabin fever begun to set in and he
found himself spending endless hours at home, alone, as I had now found a
job with Diane, an R&B artist Bobby had worked with in the past.  The two
released tracks that Bobby had produced for Kid K was already dominating
the top of the charts.  Bobby was also back in the media as one of the up
and coming trendsetters, being promoted as a producer with and I quote
"flava that surpasses that of the greats".  All in all, we were both happy
with our professional lives.  On a personal level, things between us were
good.  We argued every now and again, usually over my nagging for him to
not slack on his therapy sessions just because he was getting better, and
even though things sometimes got heated, never once did we go to bed angry.
I guess things are made easier now that we're surrounded by more flowers
than concrete.  A month ago we moved to the Pochonos where we purchased a
three bedroom home.  I looked at that purchase as a milestone for us as
both our names were signed to the mortgage.  It was a hell of a commute
into the city but it was what Bobby needed.  It was away from the rest of
the world and it offered us the peace and tranquility to be who we wanted
to be without the prying eyes of reports watching our every move.  Bobby
had a studio built into the house so that he could mix beats without having
to go into the city all the time.  As for his proposal to me, even though
we weren't able to legally tie the knot, we did have a commitment ceremony
in Aruba.  It was just us, Bobby's managers, my brother Simon, Michael,
Adam and a few others.  It was the best day of my life and I'm sure the
same was true for Bobby.  And it was hard for me to believe that we had
come this far.  So many things had changed and our relationship had been
tested so many times that sometimes, I had to pinch myself to be convinced
all of this was real, that Bobby and I were real.

"Richie, you up for going into the city for a while?"  His question caught
me off guard and pulled me out of thought.  I hadn't heard him come in.

"Sure.  Where are we heading?"

"Just out to some new restaurant that just opened.  I know the owner pretty
well and he wanted me to try it out."

"Ok babe, whatever you want to do.  I probably should get in the shower
then."  And with that, I started to get up only to be stopped by his hands
pressing into my shoulders and pushing me down.

"I love you."  He whispered in my ear just before he leaned in and kissed
the back of my neck.

I turned to look at him and couldn't help but smile.  "You're home early.
I thought tonight was gonna be an all nighter?"

"I ducked out.  And besides, it's been a while since it's just been me and
you."

And it had been a while.  But that was the beauty of it.  We lived life
like any straight couple would.  We fought, we made up, we worked hard, we
made love, we fucked, we did it all.  I loved Bobby and he loved me.  And
even though the majority of people weren't receptive to our relationship,
it didn't matter.  All that mattered to me was that I had finally gotten
the one man I had waited my whole life for and that he loved and
appreciated me as much as I loved and appreciated him, and no one would
ever be able to take that away.



BOBBY

 I tried my best not to appear to be too anxious about our excursion to the
city but it was hard.  How can I explain how good it felt to finally feel
as if I was giving back to him, for once.  And as I looked over at him as
he stared out the window of the car, I felt my chest give that familiar pit
patter.  And I couldn't help but think how much I loved this kid.  He had
been there for me through so much shit and even though I hadn't always
shown my appreciation, he never left my side or gave up on me.  It took a
special kind of person to put that kind of faith in something so unstable.
But he had done it and I vowed never to let a moment go by without telling
him how much his sacrifices meant to me.

I put my thoughts on hold as I pulled into the parking lot of the
restaurant.

"This is it."  I stated, turning to look over at him.  I then gave him a
smile.  He returned my smile and brought my hand to his lips, kissing it.

I leaned over and brought my lips to his, kissing him deeply.  And I had to
fight to control the urge to just pull him into the backseat and get our
groove on.

"I promise we'll finish this later."  I whispered, removing myself from his
embrace and turning off the engine.  We both exited the car and hand in
hand, walked through the front door of the restaurant.

I don't know who was more surprised, Richie or me.  The effort that had
gone into this surpassed anything that I could have ever imagined.  a blue
banner hung from one end the room to the next and written in dark, Italian
style writing were the words `Richie, we appreciate you!' .  The words were
simple but their meaning hit the mark and had Richie in tears.

"Oh baby, this is so sweet..." he started and stopped, as at that moment,
the other part of surprise came bursting through the kitchen.  The look on
his face was priceless and I was glad to be there holding him as he looked
as if he was about to pass out.  Laurence, Greg, Michael, Adam and Richie's
brother, Simon stood there in front of us.  Simon and Michael held a
gigantic cake that had Richie's image on it and the simple message of: we
love you.

"You guys, I--I--I don't know what to say."  He whispered.

"Thank your man Richie, he set this up."  Stated Michael

Richie turned to me and wrapped his hand around my waist.

"I love you babe."  He whispered before bending his head upwards to meet
mine and drawing his lips to my own.  And even though this wasn't the first
time we had kissed in public, it was the first time we had gone all out.
Even when the cat calls had started, we didn't stop.  It was as if we were
the only ones in the room.  When we finally pulled apart, Richie was as red
as the icing on the cake and I'm sure if I were white, I would have given
him a run for his money.

"Enough you guys, lets eat."  Stated Laurence.  And with that, we all sat
down at one of the tables to eat.  It was good to just be able to hang out
with all the people that stuck had with us through thick and thin, to
celebrate with them our happiness, and most importantly, to express the
love we felt for each other, openly in front of them.  And as the night
wore on, and as I watched Richie interact with our friends, I couldn't help
but reminisce about the old days.  I felt that we had come full circle and
I guess in a way we had.  We had built our relationship on friendship first
and had proceeded to fall in love in the most unconventional way possible.
And now we had ended up at a point where we completed each other.  I
couldn't imagine my life without him and now, there was no reason for me
to.  He was my partner for life.  and as I caught his eye for a quick
moment while we changed courses, I couldn't help but thank God for leading
this man to me, for without him, I probably wouldn't have had the will to
recover, start producing or anything else that I had managed to accomplish.
Richie made me want to do and just sitting here among friend only served to
reinforce that.  And as he smiled at me from across the table, I couldn't
help but smile back and think, `what a lucky s.o.b I am'.


EPILOGUE

I was finding it hard to believe that we were in the midst of celebrating
our tenth anniversary.  Ten years since the day we had committed our lives
to one another and many more since that first day of school when I noticed
him singing `Ben' in an empty classroom.  We had come a long, long way and
our lives had been filled with much joy and heartache over that period of
time.  Last year, Bobby had gotten word that his father had died, and even
though the man never once accepted Bobby for who he was and all the
accomplishments he had made, Bobby still attended his funeral.
Surprisingly though, his mother had made amends right then and there and
was making a conscious effort to follow through on those amends.  She had
even stayed with us over the previous Christmas, and took to calling me her
other son.  As for my brother Simon, he and Bobby had somehow found a
middle ground where I was concerned and made an effort to get along.
Michael and Adam are still together, surpassing all timelines that I had
put on their relationship.  It's strange to see this more mature Michael
but I have to admit, it was refreshing.  Adam's mother had died shortly
after he and Michael had made the trip to Aruba to see us wed.  He had
relayed to me how hard that had been on Adam but had said it reinforced his
commitment to their relationship.  Well, all I can say is that he must be
doing something right.  Less surprising was the fact that Terry and Jack
had reconnected, again.  Jack was successful in beating his cancer and
after much counseling, the two decided to reunite.  I speak to the both of
them on a regular basis and found that being foster parents to two
underprivileged kids, kept them busy beyond belief and kept their
relationship strong.  And I had to admit that I was happy with the
direction things had gone and continued to go.

"Richie, come dance with me."  Bobby's words brought me out of thought, and
I allowed him to pull me unto the dance floor just as `BEN" came over the
loudspeakers.  I looked up at him and saw that mischievous smile plastered
on his face.

"Thanks."  I whispered, laying my head unto his chest.  And as we slow
danced to the song that started us so long ago, I couldn't help but think,
`what a perfect ending'.


Author's Note: Well folks, this is the conclusion.  I'm sorry it has taken
ages but I hope it was worth it.  For those of you that are disappointed,
please write and let me know what you would have liked to see.  And for all
of you who wrote to me, thanks for all the encouragement.  I couldn't have
gotten through it without you.

Thanks.