Date: Fri, 29 Apr 2011 00:34:12 -0400
From: crazy4u <rnielsen47@gmail.com>
Subject: The Lernier Family, Part 5 GM Relationships

Comments on the story are appreciated and may be addressed to the author,
Russ Nielsen (rnielsen47@gmail.com) To read more of my stories you can find
them at my story site - http://www.saskboystories.blogspot.com/

All the usual disclaimers apply. This is a work of pure fiction. Any
similarities to persons living or dead are coincidental. If it is illegal
to read this where you live, don't read it. If you are under legal age
where you live, don't read it.

This story contains descriptions of consensual sexual contact between adult
males. Passing through Nifty's main page to get here is your way of saying
it is legal for you to be reading it.

The Lernier Family Chapter 5 - Reconciliation

Rick led me to the waiting stretch limo where, again, the chauffer opened
the door for us.  Our best men and their families soon joined us as Grandpa
directed them to their places.  I smiled as I heard Grandpa giving orders
to everyone including the nursing staff that accompanied Grandma Nielsen.

Rick laughed and turned to whisper in my ear, "That's typical for Grandpa."

I nodded my head in agreement and turned my face to him.  Rick took the
opportunity to give me a quick kiss which drew a couple of whistles from
the guys.

Egan asked his dad, "What are you whistling about?"

I laughed as Keith stumbled over his answer.  Kerry joined in my laughter
before coming to his rescue, "Son, your dad was whistling at Rick and Glenn
because they were kissing."

"Why don't you whistle every time they kiss?  You haven't whistled before
when they kiss," Egan stated in all seriousness.

Keith answered, "It's because they got married today.  We are teasing them
about being newlyweds who are so much in love they can't help but show it
by kissing each other."

Egan looked at Rick and said, "Now you can be the official family
storyteller since your Glenn's husband."

Rick smiled and agreed, "Yes, Egan, I'm now the official family
storyteller.  Do you want to hear one of my stories?"

Egan clapped his hands together in his excitement, "Yes, please!"

Rick began one of Egan's favorite stories as we all listened.

It wasn't long before my mind wandered as I recalled the changes that had
come about in our relationship over the last few weeks.  We have drawn
closer together and are more united in our thinking.  I remembered the
series of events that seemed to be the catalyst for some these changes:

*** ***

 Rick and I were welcomed by Reverend Riegger as we entered his office for
our second discussion.  Rev. Riegger asked, "Did you boys finish your
homework assignments?"

Rick answered, "Yes, we did.  Here is our completed budget and we wrote
down some of our ideas about raising a family."

Rev. Riegger looked over our budget and nodded his approval, "Very well
done.  Now let's have a look at your notes on raising a family."

He read over our notes and then said, "Before we go any further with this
discussion, we need to cover a few things to establish a good foundation
for starting a family.  First and foremost, your relationship must be one
of co-equals.  In other words, each spouse has equal responsibility to
maintain a loving relationship.  I've counseled with many couples where one
or the other dominates the relationship.  This is not right.  Marriage is
not about who has control of the other or who has to have the last word.
Unfortunately, there is a tendency in many marriages for one or the other
to exercise what I call unrighteous dominion.

"What is unrighteous dominion?  It is when one spouse dominates the other
and seeks to demean or denigrate their partner.  Exercising unrighteous
dominion can follow many patterns.  It may be relatively mild when
expressed as criticism, anger, or feelings of severe frustration with your
partner.  In more extreme cases, it may emerge as verbal, physical or
emotional abuse.  It often results in autocratic and often capricious
demands for complete obedience to their commands.  Eventually, they begin
to look upon their spouse as someone whose sole purpose in life is to serve
them.

Marriage is not an institution created for the enforced slavery of one
spouse to the other.  Too often, couples enter into their marriages with
blinders on.  They refuse to see that their partner is only seeking to use
and abuse them and is using the bonds of matrimony as an excuse for their
unacceptable behavior.

I want to make sure that you both have a very good understanding that
marriage is a sacred contract between two co-equals who will jointly rule
over their home and family.  Rick, you and Glenn should counsel together
regarding every decision; honoring and respecting each other as you weigh
the pros and cons.  You need to establish decision-making patterns that
will lead to joint decisions that you both can agree to uphold and
implement.

This principle of counseling together will become the foundation for
raising your family.  As problems present themselves over the years, you
will learn that when you counsel together as a couple it will draw you
closer together and will give your children confidence that all family
decisions are made in a fair and equitable manner. "

Rev. Riegger stopped for moment and looked each of us in the eyes, "Do you
have a relationship of co-equals or do you have one where one dominates the
other?"

Rick responded, "We work together as equals, Rev. Riegger."

I nodded my agreement, "Yes, we treat each other as equals.  Rick is always
respectful of me and looks out for my best interests.  I try to do the same
for him.  Our relationship is based on walking side by side, hand in hand
through life helping each other as we go.  We love each other and honor
each other."

Rev. Riegger smiled, "From what I've observed, I agree with you that you
have a good relationship based on trust.  However, if at any time, should
your relationship change and become one of unrighteous dominion, do your
best to work through your problems and return your relationship to the firm
foundation it needs to have in order to be a loving and healthy one where
each spouse is treated with respect, dignity, love and courtesy that true
equals enjoy."

I took Rick hand in mine, "Rick is my ideal husband.  He loves me for who I
am and makes me a better person when he's with me."

Rick smiled at me, "Glenn is the perfect life partner.  He completes me in
so many ways.  I can't imagine life without him."

Rev. Riegger said, "Good.  Now I want to briefly review what we talked
about last time.  Have each of you looked deep inside yourselves to
determine that you love who and what you see in the mirror every morning?"

Rick replied, "I have, Rev. Riegger.  I've given a lot of thought to
forgiving my family for what they've done to me.  I realize that I need to
do that so I can dedicate myself to truly loving Glenn.  I've wasted too
much time and energy on it already!  I want to use that time and energy to
build a strong family unit that withstand anything that is thrown at us."

I said, "I've done the same.  For me, the challenge is to forgive my
cousin, John, for what he did to me when I was 12 years old.  I've held on
to the anger and hatred I feel towards him for a long time now.  I can see
how it has warped my own self-image.  For me to be able to love Rick
completely and without reservation, I've got to let my bitterness go and
learn to forgive not only John but myself for what happened.  I've talked
it over with Rick and we want to ask your assistance in resolving the
bitter feelings that have come between Rick and I and John's family."

Reverend Riegger looked a little puzzled, "How can I help?"

Rick replied, "Would you be willing to act as a disinterested third party
to help us talk through the family issues we have?"

"Yes, I'm willing to help.  We can set up a family meeting here in my
office.  Who do you want to invite to meet us here?" he asked.

I said, "My Aunt Sylvia and Uncle Gordon and their son, John, and his
wife."

Reverend Riegger said, "Yes, I remember your Aunt Sylvia and Uncle Gordon
very well.  I married them here in this church just like I did your
parents, Glenn.  I would be honored to help you work through the problems
you have.  I will need more information about what happened between you all
in order to help in the best way possible."

Rick and I related what had happened that caused Aunt Sylvia to be so upset
at us.  I also related the events that occurred between me and John.

Reverend Riegger expression showed how upset he was hearing about what had
happened to me.  "I'm glad to see that you've finally been able to come to
terms with what happened and are trying to complete the healing process.
By talking to John and his family, it will help them heal as well.  I will
be very happy to help you set up this meeting."

We set a date and Reverend Riegger made a couple of phone calls to request
that Aunt Sylvia and Uncle Gordon meet with him as well as John and his
wife, Vicky.  They all agreed to come.

Rev. Riegger said, "Now that we've got that taken care of, let's continue
our discussions.  You've both made good progress towards freeing yourselves
of the things that will prevent you from devoting your entire being to
ensuring the happiness of your spouse.  Let's move on to the subject of
raising a family.  Have you decided who will be the main caregiver when you
bring children into your family?"

"I will be," I said.  "I really want to have children and to be able to
care for them.  I've wanted to adopt for some time now but we weren't
ready."

Rick smiled, "Yes, Glenn has been pretty open with me about wanting to
raise a family.  I also want to have children so we've agreed to start the
adoption process as soon as we return from our honeymoon."

Rev. Riegger replied, "That's wonderful!  I'm very excited to see the two
of you formalize your relationship and begin a family.  Have you discussed
how you plan to discipline your children?"

I said, "Yes, but there are so many different ideas about how to discipline
your child.  We are very confused as to which approach to take or who to
even ask."

"Well, the best source of advice is your own parents.  They will be honest
with you and will provide a good sounding board for your ideas.  You will
need to be aware of the laws regarding children where you live.  Many
jurisdictions have laws on the books prohibiting corporeal punishment.  The
best advice I can give you is to love your children unconditionally.  They
may break your heart but you will always love them.  Remember that each
child is unique and will require a very individualized approach to teach
them correct principles.  Of course, you will have each other to help keep
things running smoothly.

Given that Glenn will be the main caregiver. Rick you will need to make an
extra effort to praise Glenn for his efforts at home.  Take the children
out for ice cream or play games with them so that Glenn can have a break.
He will be just as exhausted as you will be from a full day's work.  Pamper
each other.  Make sure to share every burden and that includes the
housework!  Don't forget to take time to keep the romance alive in your
relationship."

Reverend Riegger then began the religious instruction.  I looked at Rick to
make sure he was okay with the direction the conversation was going.  Rick
seemed interested to hear what Reverend Riegger was explaining using verses
from the Bible.  I relaxed a little knowing that Rick wasn't uncomfortable
talking about religion.  I turned my attention what the reverend was
saying.

After about an hour of instruction, Reverend Riegger asked, "Do you have a
Bible?"

Rick responded, "No, we don't.  Since the incident with my family, I've
been pretty hostile towards any kind of religious discussions let alone
have religious articles in my home."

"Would you accept a new Bible as a wedding present from me to you?" he
asked.

I looked over at Rick, not daring to speak.  We've had some pretty heated
discussions about religion so I wasn't about to accept it unless Rick made
the first move.

Rick looked at me and I just shrugged my shoulders, "It's up to you, Babe.
I know how you feel about things so I'm leaving it up to you to decide
whether or not to accept it."

Rick thought for a moment, "Okay, I'll agree to it as long as you don't
give me grief about having some kind of Bible study with you.  I'm not into
religion and don't want to have the hassle of dealing with an organized
religion."

I said, "I won't try to have you study the Bible with me unless you
volunteer to do it on your own."  I looked over at the reverend, "We've
been approached about Bible study by several groups of people and we've had
to be pretty blunt about not wanting anything to do with their religion."

"I understand," Rev. Riegger said.  He got up and went over to the cabinet
behind his desk.  He opened it and pulled out a beautiful, leather-bound
copy of the Bible.  Inscribed on the cover were these words, "The Lernier
Family Bible."  He opened the front cover to the page where he had recorded
our names and our future marriage date.  "Of course, the marriage date
hasn't come to pass, yet, but it will.  I want you to have this Bible to
serve as reminder of the discussions we've had.

I've taken the liberty to place bookmarks on some key chapters you should
read together this evening as your homework assignment.  It's very
important that you two discuss your religious views.  You will need to
reconcile those views so that neither one feels obligated to sacrifice his
religious views to make the other happy.  Religion is a very personal
thing.  Each of us has to determine where we stand in relationship to our
Creator.

Glenn, you will need to be very patient with Rick.  I know that you have a
desire to have religion as a part of your life.  You must remember that
Rick has his own free will and choice to not have any religion or religious
beliefs.  The two of you need to decide how you will raise your children:
with or without organized religion in addition to providing religious
instruction at home if that is what you both desire.  Remember that you
need to counsel together.  This is not about sacrificing your beliefs to
make your spouse happy.  It's about establishing a framework for working
together.  Just like the work you did on your budget to establish a method
for handling your finances, you need to agree on an approach to religion
that will make you both happy."

I looked at Rick, "I'm sure we'll have some pretty long discussions about
religion before we done."

Rick responded, "What do you mean we're "going" to have discussions?  We've
already had some intense discussions about it!"

 I winced at Rick's response to my statement, "I agree that we've had some
heated exchanges about religion already.  It's something we'll have to work
on, okay, sweetheart."

Rick seemed to mellow a little bit, "As long as you don't jam it down my
throat."

"I promise to be circumspect in how I address the subject, okay?"

Rick finally smiled, "Okay."

Reverend Riegger smiled at us and said, "I think I've given you enough to
talk about tonight.  We'll see you next Tuesday for our next session.  Dare
I ask you to attend services with us this coming Sunday?"

He looked directly at Rick who said, "Sure, I don't mind coming to services
here.  I know that you have a congregation that won't judge us for loving
each other."

"That is correct.  We accept everyone here.  I will look forward to seeing
you on Sunday then," he said.

We shook hands and left his office.  As we got in the car, I asked, "Are
you really okay with going to church here?"

Rick shrugged his shoulders, "Yeah, I guess it won't hurt to come at least
one Sunday."

"Thank you for agreeing to go to church.  I know how uncomfortable you feel
about it," I said.

"Anything for you, Babe," Rick said with his usual broad grin as he started
the car and we headed back to Aunt Hannah and Uncle Carl's home.

*I** ****

Rick and I had some very long and very intense discussions about religion
over the next few days.  We read the passages from the Bible the reverend
had marked for us.  In the end, we decided that we had very similar beliefs
as far as doctrines go but where we differed was on the degree of
participation we wanted with an organized church.  We finally agreed that
going to a church would have to wait but that we could study the Bible
together as a family if we both agreed to it at a later date.

The following Tuesday we met with Reverend Riegger for the next class and
were surprised to see Aunt Sylvia, Uncle Gordon, John and Vicky sitting in
his office when he opened the door to let us in.

I quickly recovered from my surprise and managed to greet them with a
smile, "I'm glad you came everyone."  I went over and shook their hands and
took a seat next to Russ who hadn't attempted to address them.

Reverend Riegger looked at me and said, "Thank you everyone for coming.  I
apologize for not letting you know that everyone would be here tonight,
Rick and Glenn.  After our meeting last week, I called them back and
rearranged our meeting to take place tonight."

He paused before continuing, "I'm aware of the circumstances that have
given rise to the division that exists between you.  I want to begin by
reminding everyone to be civil and to let each person finish speaking
before we interrupt or try to interject our own thoughts and feelings into
the conversation.  Is everyone clear about the ground rules?"

We all nodded our heads.  Rev. Riegger turned to Rick first, "Rick, I
believe that you should go first."

Rick looked kind of stunned.  We hadn't really talked about how this
conversation was going to take place.  After a moment, he said, "Mr. and
Mrs. Quigley, I must apologize for the poor behavior I exhibited at your
home the last time I saw you.  I shouldn't have reacted to what John said
in such a violent way."

I looked over at my aunt and uncle.  Uncle Gordon nodded his head, "I
accept your apology."

However, my aunt sat with her arms crossed and a scowl on her face.  I knew
it was going to be tough to get her to listen to us.

Rick then looked at John, "I'm sorry I decked you, John."

John, who had been looking at his feet, looked up at Rick and said, "I'm
sorry that I made the remarks I did about you Glenn.  Rick had every right
to put me in my place.  Before we go any further, I need to clear something
up for my parents.  I've already talked to Vicky and we agree that now is
the time for me to come clean about what happened between me and Glenn."

He recounted what he'd done and looked over at his mother, "Mother, I'm
sorry I've caused you so much pain by telling you this.  I know what I did
was wrong and all I can do now is ask that Glenn forgive me.  I can't give
him back what I took from him but I can try to help make things better by
helping you to understand that Glenn and Rick are wonderful people and that
you shouldn't harbor any ill feelings towards them."

By this time, tears were rolling down my face.  I was holding onto Rick's
hand trying to get control of my emotions.  After a few minutes of silence,
I was able to say, "I've already forgiven you, John.  I don't know if we
can ever be close but I want you to know that I want you to have the best
of everything."  I stopped speaking because of the strong emotions I was
feeling.  "Vicky, I want you to know that John needs you to love him
unconditionally so that he can heal from this experience.  More than
anything, he needs to learn to forgive himself for what he's done.  It's
taken me a long time to realize that carrying around the bitterness and
hurt was damaging me more than it was anyone else.  Rick has been the
catalyst that has motivated me to become a better person and to learn to
forgive.  His love for me has given me the strength to change.  I know that
your love for John will help him to become a whole person, again."

Vicky said, "Thank you, Glenn.  I do know that John will need me to help
him overcome this obstacle.  When he told me about what he had done, I
encouraged him to come clean with everyone and especially with you.  I knew
that something had been haunting him since we first met.  We've been
married for three years now and I'm glad that we finally have no secrets
between us.  It's been hard for me to accept that the one I love could be
capable of doing something so cruel and malicious.  I know that John is a
good man and that he will become an even better one now that he can move on
and leave this behind him."

My aunt finally broke down and started to cry.  It had finally hit her that
her darling son had done what she had tried to deny as even a possibility.
Uncle Gordon handed her his handkerchief which she took and dabbed at her
face.

She looked across the room at me, "I'm sorry, Glenn, for not believing you.
I won't try to excuse my behavior but the enormity of what happened between
you and John while we were away with your parents is so overwhelming to me.
I feel like I've failed my son somehow.  That somewhere along the way, we
didn't teach him properly or that something we did brought this out in
him."

Reverend Riegger said, "Sylvia, there is nothing that you could have done
to change things.  I've seen how you and Gordon have raised your children
from the moment you brought your first child home from the hospital."

John spoke up then, "Mother, it's not your fault nor is Dad's fault that I
did what I did.  I'm responsible for what happened.  I knew what I was
doing and unfortunately, I was too stupid to grasp the consequences of what
I was doing.  I'm just grateful that Glenn's life hasn't been completely
ruined by my selfish desires.  I hope that you and Dad can forgive me for
what I've done.  I know that I've disappointed you and hurt you."

Aunt Sylvia said, "I've already forgiven you, son.  I'm just trying to
adjust to the fact that it really happened and that everything has finally
been brought to closure here in this office.  I agree that we need to mend
rifts we've made in the family.  I will be the first to call your parents,
Glenn, and apologize to them.  I behaved very badly towards them when they
were completely innocent of any wrongdoing."

Rick said, "We'd be honored to have you all attend our wedding.  I know
Grandma Nielsen wants us to have a family photo taken with everyone in it.
Will you come?"

Aunt Sylvia smiled at last, "Yes, we'll come.  Thank you for putting up
with the stubborn old fool I've been about this whole situation."

Rick responded, "Not a problem.  I understand that stubbornness runs in the
family."  He put his arm around my shoulders as he smiled at me.

Everyone in the room laughed.  Aunt Sylvia said, "That's true enough.
Gordon can attest to that fact!"

Her husband wisely said nothing but nodded his head!  Uncle Gordon said,
"I'm craving some ice cream.  Is anyone up for going out for an ice cream
cone?"

I laughed, "Some things never change, Rick.  Uncle Gordon has always loved
his ice cream.  He used to take us to the local ice cream shop every time
we came to visit."

"That's true still.  Let's go," Uncle Gordon said standing up.  Reverend
Riegger stood also and shook his hand.  "Thank you, Reverend, for helping
us get this situation resolved."

"You're welcome, Gordon.  I look forward to seeing you, again, at the
wedding," he said.

The rest of us said our good-byes to the reverend.  Rick and I hung back
after the rest had left.  I went over and gave Reverend Riegger a hug.  "I
can't thank you enough for helping me tonight."

"You're most welcome.  I didn't do anything special.  You, young man, are
the one who did all the hard work and made it possible for us to arrive at
a happy ending," Rev. Riegger said with a smile.  "Rick, you had better
appreciate the wonderful man you have chosen as your mate."

Rick smiled as he put his arm around my waist and pulled me close to him,
"I agree I managed to get the best guy to be my forever friend.  I
definitely hit the lottery when I found Glenn!"

With that, we left the Reverend in his office and followed the rest of my
family out of the church.  The ice cream was great and I felt so free.  I
hadn't realized just how liberating it would be to forgive John and to make
amends with his family.  I wouldn't have to worry about avoiding him
anymore and I could put those terrible memories into their final resting
place never to torment me, again!  And best of all, I had the love of my
life sitting beside me just holding my hand and sharing his love with me.

*** ****

I was brought back to the present as the limo came to a stop in front of
the Stratford Whitehouse.  Rick had finished his storytelling and the rest
of our party was anxious to exit the car.  Rick looked over at me with a
wide grin, "We're finally here!"

"Yes, we are, beloved," I replied.  Rick leaned over and kissed me.

"I love it when you call me your beloved," he said.  He tenderly stroked my
cheek with his hand.  "You're so amazing.  I'm glad you agreed to marry
me."

I looked into his eyes and saw his love for me reflected there.  It sent a
thrill up my spine to know that I'd found Mr. Right to be my husband.

We were interrupted by a very anxious young man.  Egan said, "Come on, Rick
and Glenn.  It's time to go eat!"

We laughed at our precious little cousin as we climbed out of the limo.  We
each took a hand and guided Egan inside to the waiting feast that adorned
the long buffet tables.  Egan's eyes grew as big as saucers when he saw all
the food, especially the large variety of cakes, cookies and sweets.

"That's amazing!" he exclaimed.

Yes, Egan life is truly amazing I thought to myself as we helped him with
his plate.