Date: Sat, 9 Jul 2005 19:29:52 -0700
From: Kevin Harness <kevroc54321@tns.net>
Subject: The Love Of My Life 2

The Love of My Life
Chapter 2 - Dreams to Reality

This story contains descriptions of gay people in real life situations,
both of legal age and below 18.  These people engage in consensual sex in
this story, however your government, local laws, statutes, etc may not
allow you to read this story.  You are not supposed to be reading this
story if you are not 18 years of age.  I write this story, as I have all my
stories, for true boylovers and the boys that love to be loved by them,
everywhere, anywhere.

Additionally, this story really happened to me and the character James was
a real, live person.  Other characters in the story may have their name
changed.

This will be a hard story to tell, but I'll do my best.  Those of you that
have read a few of my other stories (Hands On My Heart, Save The Boy, A Boy
To Remember, The Education of Joshua) know that these aren't your regular
"fuck stories".  That being said, read on....

==================================================================

I opened my eyes on Friday morning and before I had a chance to focus on
the fact that it and I'd not had any coffee yet, my mental processes jetted
off into planning mode.

All those questions you ask yourself: what should I wear?  how should I
dress, casual or kind of nice?  what time should I call him?  what movie
will he like?  what happens if he doesn't answer his phone?  do I leave a
message or call back?

Probably about half-way through the day I realized that if I just slowed
down and relaxed a little, I'd know when to call.  And he would be there.
And he would answer.

Finally, a bit after noontime it felt like the right time to call.

"Hi James, how are you?"

"Aw, a bit groggy, I just got up," he yawned lazily.  "How are you?"

"Just working," I returned.

He laughed, "I figured you probably were at work, and working," he said.
"I asked you how you were."

(Typical of James....)

"Oh, just wishing the day'd go by quicker so that I was already hanging
out."

He came back, "What?  You're not going to go home after work and shower
before you come over here?  Kev....," followed by an over-acted sigh.

I laughed, "Yes, James, I was going to shower first."

He laughed back, apparently happy that his irony and playful sarcasm had
made me laugh.

"Um, what time would you like me to come over?" I asked.

"Hey, the earlier the better's fine with me," he popped right back.

(Kevin's heart begins to race.  Um, inaccurate.  Was already racing.  Heart
goes into high gear....)

"Ok, cool.  Any movie in mind?" I asked hopefully.

"Nah, you pick one.  Funny's good.  Jackie Chan is good.  Whatever you
want."

(OMG!  He likes Jackie Chan movies too!)

"Cool," I said back, "Jackie Chan it is.  See ya around 6 o'clock I guess.
That work?"

"Sounds fine, Kev, thanks.  I'll be here."

"Okay, bye for now," I said, smiling from ear to ear.

"Okay, buh-bye," and he hung up.

After I put the phone down (um, it was either 5 seconds later, or an hour)
a thought flashed through my head: I got off work at 5pm, and had said I'd
be there about 6p.  Hell, there could be up to 40 minutes of driving total
if traffic was bad, and it was Friday!  Plus shower, shave, put on nice
clothes, and go rent a movie!  Yikes!

I managed to squeeze out of work almost 10 minutes early, and traffic
wasn't all that bad.

When I knocked on James' door at what appeared to be dead-on 6p, he
answered the door in some baggy Docker-type pants, a t-shirt, and socks.
His hair was still floppy-moppy and wet from a shower, but it looked
g-r-e-a-t.

He did his patented hair flip, smiled wide, and gestured inward as he told
me to come in.

It was a small, but very nice, townhouse apartment in the Mission Valley
area of San Diego - very neat and clean, and a huge, cushy couch set up
right across from his TV / entertainment center area.  It was that kind of
couch the 3 people could comfortably sleep on and not bother each other all
night long.  Lots of pillows, too.

He followed up right behind me and told me to make myself at home and sit
down.  I did, and he sat down beside me, smiling.  I handed him the Jackie
Chan movie I'd chosen, which was one of those that'd been filmed in China.

"Cool," he said as he bobbed his head up and down, looking over the plot of
the movie on the back cover.  He finished and put it onto the table, then
looked at me for a good couple seconds before he spoke.

"Would ya like something to drink?"

"Um, sure.  What are you having?"

He paused ever-so-slightly as he looked at me, then smiled.

(Yeah, one of those moments where you both know what you said could be
taken two ways but no one says anything....lol)

"Uh, I'll probably have a rum and coke.  That ok?"

I nodded, "Yup, works for me.  Want a hand?"

He simply said, "Nah," and told me to sit down as he zipped out of the
room.  He appeared to be a little giddy, if not forwardly happy that I'd
come over.  He was totally into being the host.  It was great.

We talked for a while and sipped our drinks, talking about our hometowns,
brothers and sisters, what I did for a living, etc.  He was a very animated
guy, probably on the brink of being charismatic for me.  Yet when I was
explaining things, he listened with great intent, smiled a lot, and when
something was funny he was a riot to watch.  The little boy in him just
went bing! right to the surface.

At some point in the conversation I asked how he'd come to live in
California.

"Ah, that's a pretty long story," he said as he looked down slightly and
became a bit more somber, but still smiling.  "Watch the movie?"

"Sure," I said, "way cool."  I stood up.  I couldn't believe I liked this
guy this much already.  It seriously felt like I'd known him for a very
long time.  "Do you want me to put in the movie, or get us another drink?"

"Drinks," he smiled.  "You'll figure it out, kitchen's that way.  I'll get
the movie cued up for our digital enjoyment."

My GOD this guy was 18 tons of cute!

James stood about 5'9" or 5'10" and was about 155 lbs.  He wasn't slender,
but he wasn't "built" and bulky, either.  I was always amazed at how his
hair looked good all the time.  Between his physical appearance, his
constant smile and light and fun demeanor, this boy was just completely
killer.

I made the drinks and headed out to the couch.  He had two pillows right
next to each other propped up toward the back of it, and the remote in
hand.  As he caught sight of me he beamed me an ear-to-ear smile and patted
the spot next to him, telling me to plant my buns right there.

Oh, happily!  I propped myself up next to him and gave him his drink.

He grinned and said, "Thanks, Kev," and gave me a little cute peck on the
cheek.

Needless to say I didn't read the next 15-20 minutes of subtitles, but
rather had to concentrate on the action itself, and laugh at appropriate
moments.  With Jackie Chan movies it's easy.

Fortunately.

At many times along the way, James would crack up and clap his hands right
along with me, and sometimes he'd high-five me on the really funny scenes.
He was really, really, enjoying himself.  I found myself being more me and
more open with him than I'd been with any other person in my life, and he
seemed to be extremely at ease, too.

If you can track with this, it seemed like each moment or minute or
increment of time was a logrithmic increase of emotions, compatability, as
well as comfortability.

Wild.

James finished his drink and set it on the table in front of the couch, and
crawled back over and snuggled in next to me, laying on his side toward me,
holding my arm and putting his head on my shoulder.  I leaned in and put my
cheek on his head, the smell of him, his freshly washed hair, and his
warmth wafting into my nose.  I kissed the top of his head lightly and
pulled my arm in and tightened it for a second, sort of a substitute for a
hug.  He snuggled in more, nuzzled my arm with his face, and sighed cutely.

You know, it wasn't that I didn't feel very sexually attracted to this boy.
Damn, I certainly was!  Much to my credit I'd worn slightly baggy pants and
somewhat tight undies so that I wouldn't be advertising wood every time he
smiled.

More accurately though, despite how hot James was, he was even more of a
joy to just be next to, talk to, and laugh with.

As the movie progressed and we talked a bit here and there, laughing at the
antics of one of the world's foremost martial arts actors, James squeezed
in closer and my right arm was now draped over his right shoulder, his head
on my chest, his right leg pulled up and laying across my thigh.

Extremely erotic, but at the same time acutely surreal.  It felt as though
no matter how close I pulled him to me it wouldn't be close enough.

I could tell James had an erection.  He occasionally gyrated his hips and
thrust very slightly in a plunging motion, but he wasn't pushing it into
me.  He was just holding me close, nuzzling and cooing.

The movie ended, and it was only about 9 o'clock.  I looked down at James
and his eyes were shut but he wasn't sleeping.  He had a slight smile on
his lips.

"Tired?" I asked.

He shook his head no, smiled a bit more, and nuzzled in again.

"Wanna kick back, or have another cocktail, or....?"

"Ummm," he paused, "prolly a drink in a second, but I'm real comfortable
for the moment."

I could only shake my head in disbelief.  Geeze.

"Yeah, me too James.  Thanks.  This is awesome," I said, probably still
shaking my head.

He looked up at me with brilliant green eyes and smiled, "You're welcome
Kev.  Thank you too, I'm .... doing great."

"Cool," I responded.

"Yeah.  That," and he smiled big and nuzzled back in and cooed, still
smiling when he shut his eyes again.

He put his right arm across my chest, and I did one of those
almost-sharp-inhales, letting my air out slowly, cooing a bit also.

He chuckled, "Yeah.  By the way, your heart's beating a little faster now."

"Hmmm, wonder what could've caused that?" I joked.

He shrugged and once again pulled himself into me, smiling of course.  I
couldn't help but pull him closer and tighter to me.  This situation, this
boy, this experience is totally everything I'd ever wanted or dreamed of.

Fireworks were going off in my head, my heart, and my groin with a
resultant increase in heat everywhere.  I held his arm with mine, and
rubbed the top of his head with my chin, messing his hair up slightly and
drinking up James' aromas.

I needed a drink, both to chill and and for a distraction to orient and
gather my thoughts.

"I'm gonna make myself a drink, you want one too?"

He nodded but didn't move.

I kissed the top of his head, and he smiled.

"I like that," he said quietly, as if commenting to himself and me at the
same time.

"Yeah, me too," I smiled back at him.

I came back with the drinks again and he was sitting fairly upright and
awake, waiting for my return.

I sat down next to him and crossed my legs to as to face him.

He literally giggled and did the same thing, now facing me, smiling,
sipping his drink, and seeing what I'd say.

My reaction was to laugh very slight, and shake my head and look down.  I
couldn't think of a thing to say, while having thoughts zoom through my
head.

"What?" he asked, and I instantly found out that it would be impossible for
me to ever hedge or lie to James.  While his outter beauty was nearly
intoxicating, his inner being and strength penetrated me like a strong
light through a window.

I looked back up at him, and saw that he was not asking so as to sit in
judgement, to make fun, or for any other reason than he wanted to know for
his own understanding, and so that I would feel relief in explaining
myself.

"Well," I began, "it's kinda like this.  I much prefer to be around, hang
out with, talk to, and, um, like guys younger than myself."

"Noticed," he said smiling, and made a gesture for me to continue.

"You were pretty noticable in the sandwich shop, and to be honest you were
so ... nice looking I was kind of shocked when you invited me over."  I
paused.  "But anyway.  It's been really good talking to you, hanging with
you, and ... being around you.  It's been one of the most relaxing and
enjoyable times I've had in quite a while," and I smiled at him.

He had already blushed at my 'nice looking' compliment, which to me was
very cool.  He was not so all about himself that he took a compliment for
granted.  In fact, he seemed to be humbled by it.

Wow.

"Thanks, Kev, really.  I guess I felt the same way from word one.  Well,
from the other side, that is.  I liked how easy it was to talk to you, and
to ... well, be around you.  It was just....different...."

"No way," I said a bit incredulously.

"Why?" he asked, genuinely interested.

I wasn't sure how to express this without making him seem 'all that', so I
wanted to choose my words carefully.

"Well, I don't know how to explain it exactly, except that you're
exceptionally good looking, smile a lot, and are way nice, so I would think
that guys are always very, um, interested in talking to you.  I guess I
thought it'd be 'old hat' for you."

He looked down for a second and then back up, "You know as well as I do
that what's on the outside and what's on the inside of people doesn't
always coincide.  99.99% of the people I've met or tried to be with were
only interested in how hot someone looked and how that affected getting
their nut off better than any time before."

As I nodded in understanding, he continued.

"Sex is easy, probably too easy.  Yeah, for me, and for the reasons you've
said, but too easy for anyone, maybe."

Then he explained something that I believed but hadn't heard worded so
well, and it hit right where I was at.

"If all someone is going to do is go from guy to guy to have sex, I mean,
it seems that all you'd be doing is seeing if you could just cum better and
better, with little or no regard for the other person, particularly.  In my
view, that's just glorified jacking off.  Which, probably people should do
instead of using each other.  I don't know.  It's just not how I am, so I'm
not sure if my view of it is particularly accurate."

I'm sure I had to shut my mouth which'd most likely been hanging open.

"Yeah, James, it's is.  I suppose we've all been there for our share of
one-night stands but for me, that's not a-l-l it's about.  When does that
stop?  When does one finally change their view, which is what they'd have
to do, to perceive someone past the fact of being stunningly good looking
or have a great penis and would they go home with them for the night?"

He nodded and smiled slightly.

I shrugged my shoulders and said, "I don't know, either.  All I know is I'm
not wired that way, at all.  I much prefer the person as a whole.  Sure,
stunningly beautiful is a plus, but..... you know what I mean."

"Yup," he said, "I do," and he paused for a second, then said, "I knew I
was right," and he looked down a bit as if thinking over something, and
smiled pretty big.

"What?" I asked.

He looked at me and literally 'turned on' the boyish cuteness and charm,
and shrugged his shoulders as if to say, 'um, i dunno'.

Right back at him, I smiled and said, "Sorry James, that won't work.  Yes,
you can flick the 'most beautiful boy next door' charm on someone else and
snow them, but that ain't cutting it here."  I mockingly wagged my finger
at him.  "So.....?"

He had started smiling more and more as I'd spoken, and by the time I said
'So.....?' he was outright giggling and almost falling over out of his
cross-legged posture.

Damn!  It didn't matter whether he was listening to me with a straight
face, falling over giggling, or walking across the room.....it didn't
matter what he did.  I couldn't explain it, but I didn't want to ever let
go of this boy.  Ever.  I knew that as sure as I knew I wore shoes.

Well....

I'd had enough rum and coke to perhaps lower my inhibitions, and I drank
the last of my drink and set the glass down.

James was laughing a bit less, but hadn't sat back up yet.

"Hmmmm?" I said menacingly as if to extract an answer from him, and cocked
an eye at him as he looked over at me.

That sent him into giggles all over again.  But then again, that was the
purpose.

SOOOOOOOOO hot!

"Mr, you've got 5 seconds to answer that 'What?' question."

"Or what?" he managed.

"I'll tickle you until you talk."

He tried to be level-headed and somber, "I'm not ticklish."

"Uh-huh.  Well, I'm calling your bluff.  5....4....3....2....1...."

James leapt from the couch and fled toward the kitchen, laughing hard all
the way.  I was through the door right after him and arrived to a kitchen
that seemed to be James-less.  I'd walked about 4 careful footsteps into
the kitchen and he bolted from behind the 'frig and made it to the door
before I could turn.

He shrieked and long-jumped a good 12-15' and hit the couch rolling,
covering himself with cushions as fast as he could.

It only took about 5 seconds of tickling him to arrive both at a point
where the other tenants might report us, and to where James gave in.

After he surfaced from under pillows, we were again seated cross-legged
across from each other, and he looked at me intently and then smiled the
so-cute smile that I came to love so much, the one where he felt so at home
that he could open his heart in utter safety to someone he implicitly
trusted.

"Ok....." he began, "I'll try.  It's kind of hard to verbalize."

I nodded.

"I was right about you, Kev.  It was a pretty strange epiphany for me as we
were talking at the sandwich shop.  It wasn't so much what you said, but it
was like the whole space that we were in was filled with our .... feelings
with no lies or games.  The only reason I left that day instead of talking
with you more was that you had to go, and I had to go shake my head and
rebalance a bit."

I was absolutely dumbfounded.  All I could do was nod again.

"You know James, you put things so well.  I can have a thought, and yeah
it's like we're in a sphere or something and that thought goes into that
common space.  Then you see this idea floating around and verbalize it.
It's kinda strange, but," and I laughed a little, "pretty cool at the same
time."

He smiled.  "Wow.  And you say I verbalize things well?  Geeze."

We talked for a little longer, and I felt like I had to say something.

"James?  Um...."

"You're welcome to stay if you want.  No problem at all.  Really."

I was still a bit antsy as I had another point I needed to say.

"Well, it's not like I want to stay just to, well, go to bed with you.  I
mean, ok, that would probably be great if that's really what you wanted to
do, but all I really meant was that I wanted to stay to be around you.
That's why."

He leaned over and put his arm around my neck and kissed me on the lips.
Not a hot kiss, if you know what I mean, but rather one of tenderness.

He looked at me still leaning in from about a foot away, green eyes
gleaming.

"I know that Kev, ya silly goof, I was gonna say something but you beat me
to it.  That whole 'thought sphere' thing I guess," and he smiled at me and
kissed me again.

I don't know why, but I started crying.

"I do sumpin' wrong?" he asked softly.

I shook my head no.

"You ok?"

I nodded my head, and he moved over to me and pulled me into him, arms
around me, and put his forehead on my shoulder.

"You got anywhere to be in the morning?" he asked.

I shook my head no.

"Alright.  Whaddya say we chill for a few, and if you want to we'll talk a
little, 'cuz I owe you an answer on a question you asked me earlier, too."

I nodded again.

"S'ok?"

"Yeah," I croaked, barely.

He reached over and put the pillows flat, and pulled a blanket from
somewhere and pulled it over us, gave me a kiss, and gently laid me down,
curled up, facing each other.  He took his hand and put in on the side of
my head, something no one else had ever done.  I opened my eyes and looked
at him, green sparkling eyes intent on me.

He smiled a little, and made a kissing motion with his lips.

I moved forward a little and put my head beneath his chin, and he put his
arm over me and stroked my back, neck, and arm for a while.

"S'ok Kev?"

"Yeah," I said, "s'ok.  Thanks," and I moved back a bit to focus on him as
I opened my eyes.  I sighed, and smiled a bit back at him.

"Cool," he said, and he just laid there looking at me.  He wasn't put out
that I'd had a minor circuitry meltdown, wasn't trying to be inquisitive,
but was quite simply just being there for me, and was comfortable in doing
so.

Again, I was trying to think of how to explain everything that was going on
in my head and yet make it not too complex and unintelligible and
cumbersome.

All I knew is that I didn't want to say anything to make this boy want to
go away.  I'd waited my whole life for this boy, and if he went away I felt
like I'd just want to go park my car by the beach and walk off the end of
the pier.

What came out, of course, was what exactly was on my mind without any
alterations or fluff to make it land easier on the other side.

"I've waited my whole life for someone as beautiful, as nice, as
intelligent, as easy to be around as you, James.  At the risk of sounding
melodramatic, being with you is like having been lost with nowhere to go
for an awfully long time, and then finally finding my way home.  I dunno.
I guess all that wandering and lostness sort of hit me."

He gave me the warmest smile, kissed me again, and said in a soft voice and
with tears in his eyes, "Well, you must've done all the right things, Kev,
because you're here now, right?"

Tears fell from my eyes, but I nodded and smiled, pulling him into me and
putting his head against mine.

I kissed him with several little pecks and said, "Thanks, babe," and he
nodded back.

He squinched his eyes tightly and silently cried too, his own pain
surfacing.

"S'ok babes, relax, I ain't going nowhere.  Same perscription here, chill,
and if ya want to talk in a bit, cool.  If not, ok too," and I kissed him
again.

"Ok," he mouthed, "thanks Kev."

"No thanks necessary, James, but you're welcome anyway."

He opened his watery eyes, glistening yet bright green, and smiled at me.

"Fuck," he whispered as he shook his head in disbelief.

"I know, babes, I know.  Me too."

He hugged me tightly and kissed me a few times, then motioned his head to
indicated that he wanted us to sit up.  As he sat up I made sure the
blanket was covering him over his shoulders, and pulled it together in
front of him and tucked it in so he'd be nice and toasty warm.

He smiled his appreciation, and I sort of shrugged it off and smiled back.

"Ok," he began, "I need to tell you this because I like you a lot.  More
than a lot already, and, well, this is important."

He started to break down a little, and I put my hand on his shoulder.

"James, I can't think of anything you could tell me that could alter how I
feel at this point.  I mean unless you an alien in the best-looking human
suit I've ever seen and need to eat my kidneys for food."

He laughed.

"So," I continued, "don't worry.  We've been doing very well here, and if
it's ok for me to blurt what I said, hell, I'm willing to hear whatever you
have to say.  Really.  S'ok," and I nodded for him to continue.

"Ok," he smiled.  "When I was 16 I had a boyfriend I liked a lot, and we
were exclusively seeing only each other, no 'open relationship' thing.
We'd both been tested for AIDS and all the other stuff, and everything was
fine.  So we never used protection, it was just him and me.  Well, he was
at a party and got, apparently, way too drunk and stoned or whatever and
had sex with a guy.  He never mentioned it to me, so we continued as
always, no protection.  Well, on our next routine STD's test, he got his
results on Friday and he came up HIV-positive."

James was looking out into the space in front of him, seeing the whole
scenario again, all the time tears streaming down his face.

"So of course the whole thing comes out about the party and the sex and
that he'd screwed this guy with no protection.  I was not only crushed, but
scared as shit.  I hadn't gotten my results yet, but would probably get
them on Monday."

He squinched his eyes and squeezed tears out, trying to regain enough
composure to go on with his story.  I wanted SO much to hold him, but he
wasn't done.  I knew I had to wait.

He inhaled deeply, and opened his eyes and half-laughed a little, looking
at me and shaking his head.  I smiled lightly back, and just awaited
whatever he had to say.

"It was a long weekend.  Gary and I broke up, I was upset as hell, slept
like 3 whole hours and was not mentally ready for anything, much less
..... any bad news on the lab tests."

I moved around and sat directly in back of James who was sitting
cross-legged, and put my arms around him, kissing him on the back of the
head.

"Go ahead babe, s'ok.  I'm here," I said softly.

"Thanks, Kev."

"Yup," I whispered back, rocking us left to right a little, hugging him
into me and nuzzling his hair with my nose.

"So, it was bad news Kev.  I was HIV-positive too.  I went with my mom,
who's been the greatest mom ever.  She and I talked all the time about
stuff, being gay, being happy, life, people, lots of stuff.  I don't know
what I would've done if she hadn't been there.  I cried so hard I don't
even remember going home.  She put me to bed and rubbed my back until I
went to sleep.  All I could think of it that it wasn't fair.  I hadn't done
anything wrong.  I wasn't bad to people.  I didn't think I was better than
anyone or anything like that.  All I did was be gay, have a gay boyfriend,
and have sex, fairly responsibly from what I can tell.  Anyway, I just
wanted to leave.  Leave town, leave the country, just leave.  I didn't want
to be anywhere, I just knew that I wanted to not be there anymore.  So mom
called my Uncle Robert, who'd done some capital investments in condo's out
in San Diego.  Turns out he is richer than God.  Anyway, he pulled some
strings and got me this place here.  I remember my Uncle Robert from when I
was younger.  He seemed to be real nice, ruffled my hair all the time -
which I liked, and my mom was always happy to see him.  So he gave mom a
large chunk of change to help me out, for my meds, this condo, some
expenses, doctors appointments, nearly everything comes out of what he gave
us."

He sighed deeply, and I could feel him sag markedly.

"Well, my mom always sends me a few dollars on her paydays so I have a
little extra money here and there, but, well, that's how I came to
California, Kev.  Quite some story, huh?"

I hugged him tightly and thanked him for telling me something so personal.

"You know, when I went off to school my mom did the same thing," and I
laughed.  "She sent me $20 every time she could afford it, and called it my
'go have fun' money."

"Really?" James asked.

"Yeah.  She was wonderful like that," I said, smiling at the memory.

"That's cool," he said, and then he sighed heavily.

"Ok, babes.  What?" I asked softly.

He sat forward and turned around to face me, looking serious, or worried,
or something.

"I had to tell you, Kev.  I don't tell anyone that story.  But I had to
tell you.  I like you a lot, and you had to know .... what was up, in case
.... we did anything.  I wanted you to know up front, so .... you
.... could decide, I guess."

"Decide what?  Whether I would then still want to have sex with you, or
whether I would still be interested in you?"

"Both," he said flatly.

I took a deep breath, breathed out, and smiled at James, again shaking my
head side to side.

"Babes, I cannot tell you how sorry I am to hear what happened to you.
It's awful.  I don't even know what to say on that, except that if you
e-v-e-r need anything, anytime, anywhere, I'd like you to let me know so I
could help.  Ok?"

He nodded.

"But does what you told me make a difference in what I've already said
about how I like you, want to hang with you, how I think of you, or
anything like that?  Nope, James.  Absolutely not.  Doesn't affect me in
the slightest.  I can only admire your courage, your everything including
your enthusiastic spirit in spite of it all.  You're friggin' amazing,
babes.  Really."

I leaned forward and kissed him on the lips, embracing him, feeling his
warmth and closeness.  He kissed back, not with wild abandon but with
passion and care.

"And," I added, "I still ain't going nowhere.  Well, uh, if that's ok with
you that is."

"Yeah, Kev," and he laughed, "totally ok, ya silly goof."

It became one of his most endearing phrases.  It was always good to hear
it.

Although the world out there may want to hear that we had erotic, hot sex
and screamed our passion loudly .... it wasn't what happened.  It wasn't
the right time, and neither of us had to go through the motions of asking
if it was ok that we just laid down and slept close to each other,
apologizing for the absence of sex on this outting.

Within about 3 seconds we both found out our favorite way to sleep in the
whole world was "spoons".  Oh yeah!

We switched our "spoon" positions back and forth across the night a few
times, giving the bottom arm a chance to receive blood.  Of course sleeping
spoons is erotic as hell, and on several occasions I or James longingly
rubbed up and down on the other, half sleeping and, half awake and aware we
were together.

Hard to explain again, but the progression of things seemed to be perfect.
The perfect boy, incredible mutual admiration.....everything.