Date: Sat, 9 Jul 2005 19:29:52 -0700
From: Kevin Harness <kevroc54321@tns.net>
Subject: The Love Of My Life 6

The Love of My Life
Chapter 6

This story contains descriptions of gay people in real life situations,
both of legal age and below 18.  These people engage in consensual sex in
this story, however your government, local laws, statutes, etc may not
allow you to read this story.  You are not supposed to be reading this
story if you are not 18 years of age.  I write this story, as I have all my
stories, for true boylovers and the boys that love to be loved by them,
everywhere, anywhere.

Additionally, this story really happened to me and the character James was
a real, live person.  Other characters in the story may have their name
changed.

This will be a hard story to tell, but I'll do my best.  Those of you that
have read a few of my other stories (Hands On My Heart, Save The Boy, A Boy
To Remember, The Education of Joshua) know that these aren't your regular
"fuck stories".  That being said, read on....

==================================================================

These are a couple poems I wrote a bit later after James' passing.  For me,
not being there to say goodbye when he died was tragic at the very least.

He and I had always depended on each other to make the right choice for the
other.  When I didn't know what to do, James would make a decision and I'd
just follow it.  Same when he didn't know what to do.

I'd always felt that I should've gone with him to his home, even tho' he
told me not to.

Anyway, here are two poems written to and for James.  Enjoy.

James Robinson, Jr.
11-10-79       11-10-01

Hello, James, how have you been?
We've not talked in a while.
Seems like I've been trying
To not miss how you smiled.

Hello Kev!  You silly goof,
It's good to hear from you!
Sorry that I had to go,
I miss you SOOO much too.

But truthfully you knew
I wasn't going to live
Despite what we wanted
My life drained like a sieve.

The pain that racked jmy body
Was more than I could stand,
Outweighed even being with you,
Was too much to demand.

When I left San Diego,
I knew it crushed your heart,
Forgive me, love, I had to go,
I'm sorry we're apart.

It's ok, James, I wanted
For you to be alright.
If that meant you had to go,
I understand the plight.

It's just that, well, you know....
I wanted you for life.
I'm sorry so sincerely
You endured so much strife.

It's ok, Kev, yes I know,
I wanted the same, dear.
I guess I'll see ya laters
You know I'll be right here.

Don't grieve for me, ya nut,
The pain is now long gone.
My memory of us
Calls to me like a song.

Take care sweets, I love yuou
And thank you for your care,
It seemed that when I needed
You were always there.

No, James, it was you
Who always caught my fall
Told me it would be okay,
And told me to stand tall.

Goodbye, James, I love you
You're always in my heart.
I'm so glad that we talked
I don't feel so apart.



Never Ever Goodbye

Hello James!  Me again,
Wond'ring what you're up to.
Had a couple things to say
My head's been pounding, too.

Hey, Kev, never a prob,
I love it when we talk,
Come on, babe, hold my hand
And let's go for a walk.

Well, James, let me tell you
It's tough with you being gone.
I've tried to forge ahead,
Somehow it seems all wrong.

We used to talk and laugh
And sure we'd even cry
Cuz we knew the day would come
When you would have to die.

 But mostly I just miss you
Being by my side,
Making fun of my goofs
Keeping me in stride.

Yeah, I know, Kev, me too.
I wished so many nights
You'd hold me real close
And we'd turn off the lights.

Well, my last day in Canton
When I bid mom goodbye,
I gave her things to tell you
I knew would make you cry.

Sorry, babe, I had to say
What was true for me.
What I tried to do that night
Was to set you free.

You need to find someone,
Kev, you can give your care,
'Cuz I know from being yours
You've got a lot to share.

Treat your next love truly
Just like you cared for me
And I can guarantee, babe
You won't be unhappy.

Sure it's tough, life's not fair,
We'll both go on our ways,
>From time to time we'll talk
And catch up on the days.

But for now, let me go
I've got a lot to do.
You know this, it's the truth.
Don't worry, I'm with you.

Thank you, James, I love you,
You've always had a knack
For making things ok,
And putting me on track.

        C'ya babe.


Thank you for reading my story.  I feel fortunate to have known James.  He
was the best thing that ever happened to my life - as a person, a gay man,
and a boylover.  'Incredible' doesn't even begin to cover how wonderful I
thought he was.  Then again, you probably got that from what I wrote :-)