Date: Tue, 16 Aug 2011 10:38:38 -0700 From: juilian james <juniorj009@gmail.com> Subject: what makes a family chapter 14 WHAT MAKES A FAMILY BY: Julien This story is 100% fictional and is by no means depictive of the life of any person, place or thing. It contains sexual activities between males and should only be read if it is legal to do so in your area. Read at your own risk and enjoy. Comments are welcomed at juniorj009@gmail.com and would be very much appreciated. ENJOY! Comments are always appreciated. Thanks. J. All this and my other stories can be found on my new site: https://sites.google.com/site/jjsstorycafe/ ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- David As I sat on the hallway steps waiting for him, I felt my hands begin to sweat. I so didn't want to be here and I sure as hell didn't want to see him but my grandmother insisted I do this because Ôhe was my father'. And while I wanted to argue that fact, I realized that I would have to deal with him at some point and now was as good a time as any. James wasn't pleased either that he was coming over but he respected grandma and understood that she would keep an eye out to make sure things didn't get out of hand. "David dear, you ready?" Her soothing voice broke me out of my train of thought and I found myself looking up at her, her familiar smile producing crinkles in the corner of her eyes, her face so warm and welcoming, and not for the first time, I counted myself lucky that she was in my life. "NoÉ.IÉI don't want to do this grandma. I don't want to see him. What if heÉ" "He won't." "ButÉ" "David, I know you may find this hard to believe right now but your dad, he loves you so much. He's going through so much guilt and pain over everything that he did and he's desperate to make it right. Trust me when I say that everything is going to be ok. I don't expect you to be all touchy feely with him as if things didn't happen, but I do expect that you're going to behave like the young man that you were raised to be and listen to what he has to say, understood?" And I had no choice but to respond with "yes ma'am". The conversation from that point forward had ceased and she was busy making lunch while simultaneously doing laundry, tidying up and making herself presentable by changingÉ.again. And while I was tempted to ask if she needed any help, I realized that this was probably her time to think about everything. Everything with me, my dad, James, in essence, her family. And while she may not have been vocal about what was going on, I could tell that she hated the situation as much as I did. The ringing of the bell broke me out of thoughts and I inadvertently started to squeeze the knuckles of my left hand with my right. I felt my heart rate begin to sore and sweat begin pouring down my back. Grandma walked out of the kitchen, took one look at me and opened the door. Neil I was a basket case on the way over here, scenarios playing over and over again in my head, both real and imagined. Since that night many weeks ago, I had not spoken to or seen David. And to say that was an unbearable punishment as severe as any could be, only expressed a fraction of what I was going through. This was worse than having the love of my life drop me and our relationship so suddenly and unexpectedly and almost came painfully close what it felt like to lose my father. After the incident I had sat for what seemed like hours in my kitchen, blood pooling around my feet from my self inflicted hand wound. I was in pain, both mentally and physically, and I felt that I deserved both for what I had done to my son. In time though, good common sense begun to set in and I realized that if I didn't get my hand looked at, it would probably become infected Ð another issue I didn't want to deal with. So I broke down and called Matt. "Hello." His voice was laced with weariness and sleep and I realized that by now, it was probably way past midnight. "Matt, it's me." I tried to keep my voice as steady as I could, trying not to let the emotional side of me take over. "NeilÉfuck manÉit'sÉit's 4 A.M. What's the matter? You ok? David ok?" And I found myself carefully thinking of the next turn my words would take. I wanted Matt to help me get to the ER as I was in too much pain to get there on my own but I didn't want to have to tell him that I had fucked up and hurt my son. "Matt, I'm hurt. I hurt my hand, I need a ride to the ER." I heard him sigh and mumble something to someone, presumably Michelle before getting back on the line. "Be there in 30." And then he hung up. Good ole Matt. Always short, sweet and to the point. And I couldn't help but be grateful that there was someone in my life that I could depend on. Needless to say, the ride to the ER was one of the most uncomfortable experiences that I had ever had with Matt. He kept on looking over at me, seeming as if he had a million questions but not asking any. And thinking I was in the clear, I made the mistake of reaching for his car stereo to turn it on, in hopes of drowning the silence that enveloped us the minute I got into the car. "Don't you fucking dare." His words shocked me and for a minute, I remained frozen, stopped in a moment in time. "MattÉ" I started and stopped as I felt him brake suddenly and my body lunge forward, activating the seatbelt mechanism. "Shut the fuck up Neil and just listen! Just stop talking!" And I did just that. Frankly, I was a little bit frightened of the look I saw in Matt's eyes. He had always been the mild mannered one, the one who was level headed, the one who never told his friends to shut the fuck up and listen. I waited to see what he would say next and then a thought struck me Ôhe fucking knew'. And as he started to talk, my suspicions were confirmed. "You need to get some help Neil. I'm talking professional help. Because you're not dealing with this wellÉ." I cut him off, his words hitting too close to home, "I know" "No! You don't know Neil. You're fucking up left and right. You fucking hit your son man! Do you realize that David could bring charges against you? James wants to call a lawyerÉ.jeez man, what the fuck happened?" And it was as if being confronted with all the facts was too much for me. I sat in the passenger seat of Matt's car and just exploded. My shoulders begun shaking and soon I was in an all out hysterical mode. My sorry state must have concerned Matt greatly for he begun to backtrack on his words and apologize, "ShitÉ.Neil, shhh, it's gonna be ok man. Fuck, I'm sorry for being such an asshole man. I know this has been hard on youÉ." And shit if can remember anything that he said from that point on. It seemed that everything after that was one big blur starting from the breakdown in the car to the emergency room visit. All I can accurately recall is feeling like my life was once again spiraling out of control. Now here I was, weeks later, trying to make amends with the person that mattered most to me in this world, my son. And as I waited for someone to come to the door, I silently prayed that everything would work itself out. James Work had been rough and not for the first time in the last year and I half, I felt burnt out. And not just mild burn out, but career changing, life altering, starting over from scratch type burn out. I was chewed out by my supervisor for not being on top of all my cases, even though I was assigned 23 cases when the maximum set by the state was 17, and to make matters worse, the lease for my current apartment was due to expire in less than three weeks and I had not been able to start looking for another place to live. Add to that the fact that David was staying with me indefinitely and his upcoming court date was just around the cornerÉ.well, needless to say I was fucking stressed. After getting the details from David about his black eye, I was ready to fuck Neil upÉ.bad. I couldn't believe that he would do that to David, no matter what words were exchanged. But my first priority was David and making sure he was going to be ok. From his demeanor, I knew that he was pretty shaken up by the whole incident and that he needed for me to be calm and levelheaded so any form of retribution that I wanted to dole out had to take a back seat. After we had dressed his wounds and he had fallen asleep, I had immediately called Matt and relayed to him what David had told me. I had told him about needing a lawyer and wanting to kill Neil and Matt being Matt, had somewhat diffused my anger by telling me to sleep on it before making any rash decisions. And I had. The morning after I was still pissed as hell, especially seeing the damage to David's face in the daylight, but I was more rational. I discussed with David the options and we decided that he would stay with me indefinitely and any communication that needed to be had, regarding his upcoming court date, would go through his grandmother. David expressed concern about Neil forcing him to come home but I assured him that we could press charges against Neil for assault if he wanted to go that route, and as much as I hated playing Ôthat' card, it was the only one I had. The ringing of my cell phone broke me out of my train of thought. Looking at the screen, I saw that it was Anna, Neil's mother. "Hey Anna. Everything O.K.?" And I know the nervousness must have been very apparent in my voice. David was going to see Neil for the first time since that night. I was against the meeting even taking place but Anna had assured me that she would keep an eye out on David to make sure that everything remained cordialÉneedless to say, that didn't make me feel any better. "Hi Love. Everything is ok, David is ok. He and his dad are out on the balcony talking." "About?" "Now come on James. You know me better than that. I refuse to eavesdrop on my son and grandsons' conversation. But I can assure you that Neil is minding his P's and Q's. I keep popping in to make sure things remain civil and so farÉ.so good." And I had to admit, hearing her say that made me feel better, albeit, if only a little bit. "Good, I'm glad. How did David seem to you this morning when I dropped him off? His demeanor was off to me as we got ready to head over to her house this morning. "WellÉ.he was nervous, fidgety, not talking much, but that's normal James. I mean these last few weeks have been a struggle for him. He's angry at his father but as the same time, it is his father. That's a hard place to be in. And I know this hasn't been easy on you either. Having to put your personal feelings aside and doing what's right. That's why I love you JamesÉ.you've always put my grandson first." And to stay her words touched me was an understatement. No matter what shit I had gone through and continued to go through with Neil, it was great to know that Anna would be there to lend her support. "Anna, I love you too. You've been a great person through this messÉ.and I'm hoping you'll continue to be there no matter the outcomeÉI know that Neil is your son andÉ." "And so are you James, end of story. I love you as much as I love Neil and I am not above telling it as it is with both of you, you should know that by now." And she was right. She never played favorites and wasn't above calling out either of us over our bullshit. But this conversation was heading to a place that I didn't want to go so I decided to cut it short. "Anna, I gotta get back to work but tell David I'll swing by later to pick him up, maybe after you guys have had dinner." "Sounds good James but what would sound better if you would join us for dinner at 7. It's been too long since you've stopped by for more than a few minutes so I'll see you then." And without giving me an opportunity to decline, she hung up. Needless to say, I found that her response left a seemingly irremovable smile on my face. This was probably one of the few things that I missed about our family. Having that motherly figure around. Neil, David and I used to have weekly visits with Anna every Sunday, sometimes for dinner, sometimes for breakfast and sometimes for brunch. Those were good memories for me and a time when we were all happy, including Neil and I, but I couldn't allow myself to think that far back, not when there was all this other shit to take care of. I walked over to my computer and turned it on. Since I had a few hours to kill before meeting Anna and David for dinner, I might as well make good use of my time and start apartment hunting. Not something I was looking forward to doing, I mean it was hard enough finding this shit hole but it wasn't just about me. If David was gonna be living here until he graduated, I would have to do better than a one bedroom in a so-so neighborhood. And that thought was the motivation that I needed to get started. Well folks, I felt inspired this month, hence the reason another chapter is out so soon. I definitely plan on closing out the story in the next few chapters so be prepared for drama, confrontations and hard truths. Thanks for Reading! J Thanks for reading. Other stories of mine include: BEGINNINGS December 3rd 2002 YO B Dec 27 2002 heart-and-soul/ INTERACIAL Nov 5 2004 story-of-us/ Jan 2 2003 to-sir-with-love/ Dec 27 2002 heart-and-soul/ MILITARY Dec 21 2002 the-recruiter/ RELATIONSHIPS Nov 5 2004 story-of-us/ Jun 6 2005 redemption/ BI RELATIONSHIPS Dec 20 2002 graduation-day/