Date: Sat, 23 Jun 2012 01:34:16 -0400
From: Jesse Jesse <gmmac1987@hotmail.com>
Subject: Being Seen 2

	"The river house," as it's known, sits on the banks of a small
river that winds its way through Grandpa's land. Though not extremely wide,
the deep, frigid water, winding a path through the pasture land and tobacco
fields, and surrounded by groves of ancient willow trees creates a picture
more beautiful to me than any painter could hope to achieve. The small
stone house is believed to have originally been built by a family of
sharecroppers who lived on what originally was a plantation of several
thousands of acres. Whatever the true origin, the small stone house with
its river rock walls and shingled roof, perched jauntily on the banks of
the river, seems to fit the description of some tiny European cottage in a
fairy tale than the farm lands of the deep south. Finally the trip to the
river house came bumping and jolting to a stop, and we found ourselves
unpacking the few things Seth had thrown into the back of his pickup and
making our way into the tiny living room of the house. Seth smiled as we
wound our way through the cluttered living room, packed with antique
furniture. "Well, here we are. Are you hungry yet?" Before I'd had a chance
to reply, my stomach growled and rumbled, prompting a chuckle from Seth. "I
guess that mean's yes. Let's see what's in the kitchen." The kitchen proved
to be stocked full of fresh food from the grocery store, yet Seth had
another idea. "Hey, I saw a fine-looking hole in the river out there where
I bet there's some trout just begging to be caught. What do ya say? You up
for a quick little fishing trip for supper?" I nodded vigorously. It had
been years since I'd been fishing. Dad hardly had the time to see my report
card, let alone do things like fishing. Seth smiled. "Okay, I've got a
couple of rods in the back of the truck. Let's got get `em and see what we
can catch." Though almost two hours passed, what seemed like a short time
later, we found ourselves climbing back up the bank from the water toward
home, Seth's creel filled with trout. Seth proved to be an expert
fisherman, and having an almost natural skill at cleaning the fish. He
chuckled softly when I became squeamish at the sight of fish guts and
suggested I start pealing potatoes for some homemade French fries to go
with our fish. Soon the house was filled with the smell of frying fish and
potatoes.
	Never could I remember having such a meal. Seth proved to be an
excellent cook. Growing up having deliveries and four course meals at the
finest restaurants around, never could I have imagined something as simple
as fresh trout and homemade fries could taste so delicious. We ate until
neither of us could bring our forks to our mouths for one more
bite. Finally Seth rose from the tiny kitchen table, rubbing his stomach as
he went. "Whew! I'm stuffed. I think I need to go outside and walk some of
this off or something. You wanna come, or are you gonna get your stuff
unpacked?" I studied the young man in front of me. Though I'd felt shy and
embarrassed about him staying with me, suddenly I felt the urge to go with
him. As I'd stared out the window of the truck on the journey to the river
house, I'd wondered if I'd be lonely. Now I realized that, though I was
thankful for the chance to get away from my parents' fighting, I did indeed
feel lonely. In fact, the sudden realization that, despite the fact that I
was surrounded by almost a thousand people at school every day, I truly did
feel lonely washed over me in such a powerful way that I found tears
forming in my eyes. I desperately wanted to go with Seth wherever he was
going, but I knew that he was just working for my grandpa. It wasn't as
though he was some best friend or relative I should be clinging desperately
to. "No, I think I'll stay here and decide which room I'm gonna sleep in."
Seth smiled at me. "Didn't you see? There's only one bedroom, so one of us
will be taking the couch."

"Well, I still need to get these few things unpacked, so you go ahead. I
need to stick around here." Seth studied me for a moment. "Are you sure
you're okay? I can stick around here, if you want."

"No, no, I'm fine. You go ahead."

"Okay, I'll be back in a bit." I watched Seth's tall frame leave the house
and stroll through the yard, tears filling my eyes as he went. It was then
that heartache, overwhelming heartache washed over me. It was then that I
realized just what my life had come to. I was alone. Thought my parents
were a matter of miles away in town, because of the way they treated me and
each other, I now felt all alone. I'd caught most of my friends whispering
behind my back recently about what had went on between my parents, and even
my maternal grandparents had tried to convince me that the whole situation
was my dad's fault the other day. It was as if no one but my Grandpa had
stopped to think of me, how I felt, how I hurt throughout all of
this. Everyone flocked to one parent or another, but I'd been left standing
in the middle, been left standing all alone. And as this waive of despair
flooded over me, I felt my knees give way and crumple, and I cried. I cried
until my eyes almost seemed to hurt, cried until I had no tears left to
cry.

"Hey, are you okay?" I jerked violently as Seth's voice rang out from
behind me. Even clouded with tears, my eyes immediately found
Seth. "I'm...I'm okay. Just a little..." His tall frame filled the
doorway. "Hey man, what's wrong?"

"Really, I'm okay. I'm just...I'm..." I felt my face flush crimson, and
fresh tears I didn't think possible flowed freely. Seth was by my side in
an instant. "Hey, hey, what's this. What's wrong?" I tried to find words to
express how I felt, but it seemed the harder I tried to speak the worse I
sobbed. What happened next took me completely by surprise. Two strong arms
wrapped around my shoulders and under my drawn legs where I sat and lifted
me gently from the floor. "Come on, let's get you up here out of the
floor. If you're gonna cry, no sense in having to do it alone in the
floor." Seth sat down in the sofa in the living room, but instead of
sitting me down or laying me at the other end, he cradled me in his arms
and held me tight, whispering softly in my ear. "I kinda had a feeling your
were a wreck when your grandpa told me what was going on. It's a wonder
you've not lost your mind before now. Hush now. It's gonna be all right."
My body shook with sobs as I curled into the muscular body that framed my
own. "I just feel so alone. My parents don't talk to me any more. It's like
I'm not even there, like they don't love me any more..."

"Shhhhh...hush now. I know how you feel. My mom and dad divorced when I was
young too, but it will be all right." Seth lifted my face to meet
his. "Jesse I know it hurts, believe me, I know it hurts like hell, but it
will get better." With the exception of my grandfather, never in my life
had I been treated so gentle, so lovingly, but even as I lay there, my sobs
subsiding, the reality of what was going on struck my mind. Here I was,
fifteen years old, laying in the arms and lap of a man I knew nothing
about. I began struggling to rise from where I lay cradled. "Seth I'm so
sorry. I should've never let you hold me like this. You shouldn't have
to..." A rough finger was brought to my mouth. "Shhhh...it's okay. I'm not
uncomfortable or uneasy. Jesse I've known all along what's been going on
with your mom and dad. Practically everyone in the county does. But what
your grandpa has been worried about, what I've been worried about, is how
this is affecting you. Trust me when I say I know how it is to be a child
caught in the middle of parents' marital troubles. I know what it's like
for both parents to be so self-centered and self-concerned that they don't
give their own child a sideways glance. I don't mean this to make you feel
worse, but everyone in town can see what's going on but your parents. I
can't tell you how many times your grandparents have talked to me and the
rest of the guys on the farm about this, or how many times I've heard the
guys at the hardware store talking about what's going on, and believe it or
not, people are not talking about scandal or who's cheating on who. They're
talking about how your parents are treating, or really not treating,
you. Your grandfather came to me because he knew I came from a family of
divorced parents. He wanted me to be with you in case something just like
this happened. Your grandparents have been really worried about you."
Calloused hands brought my face to stare strait into his again. "Jesse look
at me. I know how you feel. I know how hurt, how desperate, how alone you
feel. I know what it's like to be so hurt and angry at the same time that
you just wanna scream and cuss to the top of your lungs, and if you wanna
do just that, I'll not stop you. Just know that I'm here. I'm here to
listen, here to talk. I'm here for whatever you want or need to do to help
you through this."

	The next few weeks flew by, and though always in the back of my
mind I wondered what was going on with my parents, I actually found myself
becoming happy once again. School was still hard, because the whispers
never seemed to stop, and I always found myself seeing sneers and giggles,
like everyone else knew something I didn't. But the rest of my life, life
around the river house was happy and peaceful. Seth proved to be the most
caring, honest, loving person I'd ever met. He seemed to always know the
right thing to say, and just the right time to say it, to make me
smile. Even on the worst days of school, Seth always found something during
the ride home to make me laugh. Evenings after homework and weekends were
filled with fishing and swimming. One Friday evening I climbed into the
truck to find Seth smiling mischievously. "Got a surprise for you at home."

"What is it?"

"Why don't you wait and see." Though I badgered him the entire trip home,
he merely smiled and shook his head. When we arrived home he jumped out of
the truck, ran around to where I sat, threw open the door, and jerked me
out and through the yard toward the river, finally stopping at the river
bank and pointing up into a massive willow branch that splayed out over the
water. "Well, there it is. You said you would like a swing to jump out into
that big hole of water, so there it is!" I stood dumbstruck, smiling in awe
at Seth as I wondered how he'd managed to climb onto the tree limb and
fasten the rope. "Seth I can't believe you did that. How...how in the world
did you..." He smiled. "You said you would like a rope to swing by, so
there it is. Now, are you gonna swing or not?" I laughed. "Can't I at least
get out of my school clothes first?"

"Oh, come one. Little water never hurt nobody!" I stood gaping in amazement
as the next moment Seth ran full force, jumping off the bank, catching the
rope, swinging several times, and then splashing violently into the river,
fully clothed. Seconds later he popped up out of the water, waiving for me
to join him, his teeth chattering as he shouted. "Come on in. It's not cold
at all!" I doubled over laughing at his obviously freezing as he lied, but
finally regaining my composure, followed suit and jumped in. Another
morning I was awakened by a smell I'd not smelled in years, homemade
waffles. One of the few good memories I had of my parents was a trip we
took when I was very young to Florida. While there my parents took me to a
restaurant for breakfast, and I had Belgium waffles. Since my mother never
cooked, the closest thing I had afterwards was an Eggo for breakfast, but I
never forgot that trip. Seth came to the door of the bedroom (he'd been so
kind and took the couch), holding an enormous plate of waffles. "Good
morning. Hope you're hungry." I remember him sitting at the foot of the
bed, smiling as he sipped coffee and watched me gorge on waffles. It seemed
Seth was one of those people who was happiest when he was making someone
else happy. And then came the Saturday when I was shaken awake before
dawn. "Jesse wake up. Come on, we've gotta get going."

"Seth what the hell are you doing?"

"Come Jesse. If you don't get up we'll never make it in time." Seth drug me
out of bed, half dressed me himself, and pulled me out the door into the
still dark yard. And it was in the cool morning air that I was jerked
awake. There, standing saddled and ready, were two of the horses from my
grandfather's farm.

	"Old Jake" as he was known, the enormous Belgian my grandfather had
used as a workhorse and riding horse stood waiting patiently in the yard,
the younger mare "Missy" standing nereby. Seth's excited smile was almost
childlike as he pulled me toward Missy. "Are you ready?"

"Seth I'm really not up to riding this early in the morning, not on
Saturday. Couldn't we wait for a little while?" But he was not to be
discouraged. "No we can't. If we wait you'll miss it."

"What? What will I miss?" He smiled again. "Why don't you mount Missy and
we'll find out!" For the next half hour we rode in the early morning
twilight. At first the morning sky was still to dark for me to realize
where we were going, but as the sun began to rise ever so slowly I began to
make out the looming form of Stony Peak. Another half hour's climb up the
side of the ridge, and we found ourselves sitting on a sheer rock cliff
that jutted out over the treeline below, a panoramic view of my
grandfather's farm and our county before us. Seth helped me off Missy,
tying both her and Jake to a tree, and lead me to the rock cliff. Never
have I seen anything so beautiful as the dazzling sight the unfolded before
me that early morning as the sun rose. With each passing second the morning
light flooded the farmland below with light, casting shadows and
highlighting other parts of the rolling hills below. Somewhere in the
distance a rooster could be heard crowing at one of the farms below. Seth
watched me take in the sunrise. "I come up here sometimes by myself when I
need to think. It's funny how being up here so higher than everything else,
just a little change of perspective, can give us such a different view of
the world." I stared out at the scene before me. "I wish my parents
could've seen and heard that." Seth pulled me tightly into him, crushing me
in a hug. "Some day they will." I raise my head and stared into the green
emeralds sparkling down at me. This young man before me had been so
wonderful to me, so kind and compassionate, so loving. I wanted him to know
just how I had grown to feel about him. I began shifting around slightly to
stare strait into his face. And it was then that I went for it. Shaking as
I moved my body closer to his, I pressed my own lips against his. They were
soft and warm. He made no effort to return the kiss, but made not effort to
push away either. As I pulled away he gave me a confused look , but began
to smile. "What was that for?"

"Because I love you." For the first time I saw tears form in Seth's eyes as
he looked at me, but suddenly he pulled me into a crushing embrace, his
lips planting light kisses all over my face and neck, and finally making
contact with my lips, his tongue tracing my lips, requesting entrance. When
he pulled away he spoke only one thing. "And I love you."