Date: Tue, 23 Nov 2004 21:56:17 -0500
From: Frontrnrusa@netscape.net
Subject: A World Apart - Part III

This story is fiction and resemblance to anyone living or
dead is purely coincidental. I hope you enjoy the story. If
you have suggestions or comments, please email me I look
forward to hearing from you. Frontrnrusa@netscape.net

Copyright 2002 Holloway H.


     My mind raced, I knew that tomorrow could be my last
day on this earth, for the first time I realized how scared
I was, not at the prospect of dying but at the prospect of
never seeing Tyler or my parents again. I followed my
squadron to the barracks and grabbed a rack dumped my
clothes on it and managed to find enough water to shower and
shave before getting as much rest as possible.  I didn't
dream during the night, I held my pillow so tight against my
chest my arms tingled from loss of blood flow. I felt my
eyes tearing, it was dark in the barracks, I didn't worry
about the other guys seeing me, I was crying for Tyler.
0300 hours came in an instant, the scene in the barracks was
sullen, every one was quiet, reflecting on what the day
would bring.  I looked around at people I had known for
months and wondered who would not return. A mess tent had
been set up near the airfield, we passed through the line
eating very little but drinking a lot of coffee. I felt a
chill in the air where there was none. At 0400 hours the
Colonel walked in, motioning us to stay seated.  He pulled
the cover off of an easel and told us our mission.  I wrote
down every coordinate. When the Colonel finished he looked
around the room, "I'd like to say a quick prayer."  Everyone
rose and bowed their heads, "Heavenly Father, watch over
these men as they fight for freedom of all mankind in
Christ's name Amen. Good Luck men." The Colonel stood by the
door and shook every hand as we exited the hangar for our
planes.

     I listened as the prop on my plane built up a steady
hum. One by one we lifted off and formed up flying into the
fight of our lives.  An hour into our flight we changed
coordinates and flew another 45 minutes before we spotted
enemy planes sporting the familiar rising sun.  Within
seconds we were spotted and the fight was on.  The air was
filled with the whine of aircraft and the constant explosion
of ammunition rounds leaving the barrels of plane mounted
canons.  The radio blared as we all tried to warn each other
of pending attack.  At first I fired blindly trying to
distance myself from the enemy then I began to understand
and tried desperately to end up on the tail of an enemy
aircraft, when I found myself in that position I urgently
sent volleys of deadly rounds into the other plane. The
first time I saw one of the planes I had fired at begin to
smoke and spiral toward the sea sadness crossed my mind
momentarily and then once more I was thrust into battle.
Three of our aircraft went down that day, two parachutes
opened, the third plane burst in to flames, exploding as it
crashed into the water below. After almost an hour we were
headed back to the airfield.  Several planes had been
damaged and were nursed as they returned I flew cover for
two planes badly damaged during battle.  The minute my
plane's nose wheel hit the hard landing strip my hands began
to shake, I had a hard time gripping the stick.  Switching
off the engine of my plane I quickly got out of the cockpit,
I couldn't breath the feeling was overpowering. Today, I
killed another human being a fact I would have to live with
for the rest of my life.  Today I lost friends and had to
accept the realization that I had to fight to save my own
life.

     It was too much for me to take in at the moment. I
tagged along with other squadron members to the hangar for a
debriefing. At the debriefing we were given our number of
confirmed kills I had two. Everyone gave me a round of
applause at my good fortune and good shooting.  Then we
bowed our heads and gave thanks for our safe return and
asked God to bless the souls of our friends lost this day.
As soon as we returned to the barracks I climbed in my bunk
and went to sleep.  In my dream I found myself camping
across the pond, the fire burning brightly, I could feel the
warmth. Tyler was far away on the opposite shore of the
pond, he was on the raft pushing himself across, I kept
walking to the waters edge trying to pull him ashore but he
was blown backwards and had to push himself across once
more.  I watched him tire and I sat down on the bank and
cried out of frustration, I couldn't help him.  He finally
reached the other side and put his arms around me.
Whispering to me as he kissed the back of my neck.  I woke
up to the sound of my fellow pilots getting ready for chow.
I opened my locker and pulled out a clean uniform then I
grabbed my gear and headed off for a shower.  The coolness
of the water did little to waken me from my mental slumber;
I dressed then walked over for chow before returning to
write letters home. I poured everything I was feeling into
my letters, always using caution in the knowledge that
letters were read prior to leaving the island of Hawaii.
Once more I crawled in between sheets and closed my eyes, my
pillow once more offering the slightest chance of pretending
Tyler was in my arms.

     As spring turned into summer the heat of the day became
unbearable, there wasn't a place to cool off except in the
water. The shade of the tent allowed little relief unless a
wind decided to come our way. Constant sorties, air raid
sirens and the clap of bombs all pushed one much closer to
the edge than would normally happen. I found myself hungry
to kill the enemy and increase the number of X's on the
fuselage of my plane.  I no longer felt regret or pity as
pilots in opposing planes tumbled to the hard ocean surface
below, I knew they would feel little when I too crashed and
burned.  Our squadron of 35 pilots was slowly becoming a
squadron of 25.  I saw the change in the Colonel's face
during each debriefing, the toll of another letter to write
hung heavy on his shoulders.  I flew and slept, not even
hunger was a constant.  I ate when I had to, everything
except for sleeping I did when I had too.

     During August the heat and daily rain was unbearable. I
was walking across base when I saw a glint out of my eye, I
looked up and several yards in front of me was my friend
Nick, I'd not seen him in months.  He spotted me at the same
time and ran over, sloshing mud all the way.  I looked in
his eyes he had lost much of his happy go lucky glow.  He
smiled, "damn Zach you look like hell."

     I stared at him without speaking, he saw the look in my
eyes, "come on back to my quarters with me."

     I followed him blindly, he opened one of the end rooms,
inside was a desk, a bunk and locker.  "This is my private
quarters I'm acting Master at Arms for now, this is one of
the benefits."  He told me to sit on his bunk, I sat on the
edge, he ran his fingers through my hair, I lay back on the
bed and waited for him I put my hand on his head and gently
stroked his hair.  He moved up next to me and we held each
other, "everything is going to be fine, you're tired that's
all."

     I fell asleep, he didn't wake me throughout the day,
when I woke up it was dark outside.  He handed me a sandwich
and a coke, I took a bite and looked at him, he looked at me
with such compassion it was hard for me to swallow my
sandwich.

"Zach, I've missed you.  I've tried to keep track of your
squadron, I've heard about you becoming an Ace Pilot, I'm
proud of you."

     I nodded my head; Nick walked over to the bunk and
caressed the side of my face with his fingers. I told him
about Tyler and the guilt I'd felt the last time we were
together, he looked up at me, "Zach neither of us has
anything to fill guilty over, I think Tyler would
understand."

     I looked at him and in my expression I knew he could
see the need. He reached up and flipped the bare bulb in the
room off. In the dark of early morning, I dressed, then bent
down and kissed Nick as he slept.  I slipped out quietly and
got back to my bunk in the barracks before reveille.  I got
about 30 minutes of rest before lights came on and once more
the day repeated itself. Each successive mission since
December 7th pulled the squadron further away from our home
base.  Many times we squeaked back to the airfield with no
more than fumes in our tanks and as many times we returned
less one or two members of the squadron.

     In October 1942 we began to get fresh faced, newly
trained replacements.  Pilots barely 18, who had received an
abbreviated version of flight training in an effort to keep
the war machine moving forward to victory. Seasoned members
of the squadron were assigned to each of the new kids to
train.  No one wanted to lose a pilot because of lack of
skill or training.  After a few days of living and eating
together we became family and we wanted everyone to go back
home when this was all over.  I was assigned to instruct
Clay Morris he was from West Virginia and he became my
shadow.  He spoke with a thick southern accent; he was tall
and lanky with a round face and shock of red hair. Clay and
me we got along right away, he listened and learned quickly.
He was a smart kid and he wanted to go home like the rest of
us.  He stuck to me like glue wherever I went he followed
along.  Clay and I were walking across the airfield when I
spotted Nick and he waved, I walked over to him.  We talked
I saw the jealous look Nick gave Clay and I felt responsible
to introduce the two of them.  The three of us agreed to
have a beer later at the officer's club. I headed back to
the barracks to get some rest and to get some of the grime
off my body, seeing Nick again made me miss Tyler so much.

     I dug out Tyler's last letter and began to read, it
didn't take long for me to feel my eyes beginning to tear, I
never thought I'd ever have anyone to miss much less love
the way I did Tyler.  Placing the letter securely in my
leather jacket, I headed to the shower, as I stood under the
water I heard a voice, I opened my eyes and looked up it was
Clay, he was looking at me smiling. "What?"  I asked the
tone of my voice tense toward him for pulling away from my
daydream.

     "Nothing, I was just thinking about having a beer."
"You're too young to be drinking."
     Clay laughed, "You've never been to West Virginia then,
have you?"
     I grinned, "No I guess I haven't."

     "Zach when I was a little boy my daddy would run mash
for a man down the street, that's how he made a living.
Sometimes he'd have a little left over and he'd give a sip
to my brothers and  me.  It was something to see, us three
boys with a little moonshine in our system."  Clay had me
laughing so hard I almost slipped and fell in the shower.
Clay caught me by my arm and I saw the look of familiar
recognition in his face. I finished my shower and headed to
my bunk.  I felt better clean with a clean uniform I'd hand
washed myself. I was tying my shoes when Clay yelled, "lets
go." I followed him out of our quarters and across the
airfield.  We walked to the Officer's Club the minute we
entered Clay looked around and his expression showed
disappointment, "what's wrong with you?"

     He looked at me, "Zach I thought your friend Nick was
going to be here?"

     I looked at him, "Yeah, that's what he said." Clay
grabbed a stool and sat.  I ordered two beers paying for
them with a new Mercury Dime.

     Clay looked at me, "thanks."

     "Don't mention it."  Clay was intent on looking around
while I was intent on having my beer and returning to my
bunk.  I never got enough sleep anymore, matter of fact it
was the only way I relaxed, I was always drinking coffee to
keep me going, if I didn't have any in my system I was dead
tired. I looked at Clay's profile in the bar mirror, I saw
him begin to grin I looked toward the door and saw Nick
enter.  He smiled and waved making his way to the bar.

     "You guys are early don't they make you Army Pilots
work?"

     Clay punched Nick in the arm, "no we just sit around
doing nothing."  Clay bought Nick a beer, the three of us
found a table and talked.  Nick and Clay went round and
round, actually I knew where they were heading in their cat
and mouse game. Around 8:30pm Nick asked us back to his
room, we followed him making sure the coast was clear before
we all entered his room.  Nick and Clay sat on the bunk with
their backs against the wall and I sat in the chair, we
drank beer and whispered, telling stories and laughing.
Before taps I stood up to leave. Clay looked up at me and
asked if I was ready, I nodded my head and explained there
wasn't any need for him to leave but he said he was tired.
Nick said he had to make rounds. Clay looked at Nick and
thanked him for the beer. Clay shook hands with Nick, Nick
followed us out stopping me as Clay lead the way, he asked
me to come back tomorrow at 7pm, I promised him I would.
Clay and me walked across the airfield.  I'd had three beers
and wasn't ready to hit my bunk and have my head spinning, I
sat outside on the wooden steps leading to the barracks the
night was pitch black with a few defiant stars and no moon.
I stared into nothingness silently praying for my family and
Tyler, wondering what he'd been doing in my absence.  I'm
not sure how long I sat there lost in my thoughts and was
startled when the sun began to rise. Suddenly I was tired
and wanted to catch a few hours of rest but knew that soon
I'd be at another briefing.  It didn't take me long to get
cleaned up and walk over to eat.

     After breakfast I sat once more in a leather and wooden
chair, slats on the back of the chair eating into the bony
parts of my spine, no matter how much I ate I continued to
lose weight. The briefing ended with a prayer and I walked
to my plane and another day of recon and enemy intercept.
Every time I settled in the cockpit, my training took hold,
I was an Army Pilot trained to do this job to the best of my
abilities and through it all I remembered I was still human,
I prayed that I'd make it back to the airfield among other
things. I always ended my prayers asking God not to let me
see the face of the person I was firing against.  Last year
when I claimed my second kill, the enemy plane that fired on
me flew by and I was able to roll and end up on his tail. I
fired several bursts taking out a part of his rudder and
ailerons I watched his aircraft shake as he fought for
control. He attempted a roll but lost control and ended up
heading in my direction.  He passed me by only a few feet I
saw the look in his eyes filled with the certainty that
today was the day he would die.

     As soon as he passed me the fuselage broke into flames,
I watched as he struggled with the canopy and as the plane
spiraled toward the ocean floor, no parachute emerged, he
died that day and I've never forgotten the look on his face,
I killed him; I know it's war but I sent another human to
their death in order to save my own life. I understood the
complexity of what I was doing but I would never understand
the human life that so quickly returned to the dust of the
earth each day that the war lasted.

     The whine of engines and gentle hum of props turning
brought me to life quickly, every muscle tensed and every
atom in my body found a rush of adrenaline forcing it to
pay attention and respect to the evolution my body was
undertaking in this machine.  At 2000 feet I soared in
formation, at 150 miles out we encountered an enemy recon
flight sending it to a watery grave. Maybe they didn't get
the chance to radio our position back to the fleet.  It
wasn't long before we encountered a small fleet of several
ships.  The largest in the group a destroyer, the others
were mostly troop-transports and supply ships.
     Captain Nelson gave the command to attack and quickly
rolled away from formation toward the targets below.  Anti
aircraft fire filled the air as ships virtually helpless
desperately tried to take out our planes with their anti
aircraft guns.  The first plane to make a pass over the
destroyer dropped a bomb causing a fire to break out.  Over
and over we attacked each ship sending one to a watery grave
while the remaining ships were heavily damaged and burning.
Heads bobbed in oil slicked water, as fire raced to consume
the fuel feeding it. Our squadron was ordered back to the
airfield, we returned to formation moments before enemy
aircraft were spotted about twenty yards below us.   We were
taken by surprise our aircraft sprayed by automatic fire
from above and below. Our formation broke apart and we
battled for our lives.  It seemed surreal as I watched the
Captain's plane fall to the ocean, bursting into flames, no
parachute visible.  The enemy attacked several times before
breaking off.  We returned to base that day having lost our
wing commander and two members of our squadron family.
Gathering near the hanger my thoughts were mesmerized by the
activity of the ground crew as they moved each plane
preparing it for another day of fighting. Our briefing was
emotional as we faced the fact that no ones life was safe.
When the Colonel dismissed us I returned to my bunk and fell
asleep in my uniform exhausted.   I woke to the call for
chow walking across the airfield, Nick walked up to me
looking in my eyes he sensed my fear and walked me to his
quarters.  As we entered he locked the door and pushed me
down on his bunk. He removed my shoes and told me to lie
down.  He left waking me when he returned, he had a plate of
food and a beer. He watched me eat everything he'd brought
then he gently cleaned my face with a washcloth and combing
my hair with his fingers.  He smiled but there wasn't any
joy in my soul, not this day. Nick lowered his head to
please me, my fingers moved in his hair, not even his
ministrations could bring that part of me to life but the
physical contact I had in touching his face and hair allowed
me to relax and sleep.

     It was well after taps when Nick woke me.  He lay
beside me and I held him tight, I was almost going to tell
him I loved him when I realized it wasn't Tyler I was
holding but Nick, the one person whose care for me gave me
another day or two without losing my sanity.  Nick looked up
at me and I saw the need in his    face.  Without him asking
I lowered my head and made love to him until he cried out.
I sat on the edge of his bunk, he sat next to me and asked
me to hold him once more, I did so readily then we parted,
he looked at me through mist filled eyes and made me swear
to be safe, I swore then returned to my barracks and sleep.

     The following week I was promoted to Captain and given
a five-day pass to a Rest and Relaxation site.  Nick managed
to arrange his schedule for the same period.  We rested on
Hawaii's main island in a house near the water provided by a
family that fled to the mainland after December 7th.  The
first night I was in the house I ran down to the beach and
dove into the cool, salty water, I realized the relaxation
had made me hungry, I dried off and hurried back to the
house, as I neared the porch I saw a light go on, my mind
told me the enemy was inside the house.  I carefully entered
through the backdoor running smack into Nick who smiled and
continued to put groceries away.  He looked me over pulling
me into a dark corner where he kissed me.  I held him for
dear life and only let him go when he said I was holding up
dinner. That evening as a cool breeze blew across our bodies
I possessed Nick to my very soul, his cries and moans only
completing my need and desire.  Five days passed with a
speed I'd never realized existed before.  Nick was a part of
me, he needed me and I now needed him to feel complete, he'd
saved my sanity and gave me a reason to continue on.  As we
landed at the base we waved as we returned to our separate
quarters.

     While I'd been on R&R having fun, Clay had died at the
hands of the enemy, his loss affected me greatly and I swore
to heaven that I would exact his revenge.  The following
morning after briefing I headed to my plane filled with
anger over the loss of Clay and need for Nick something I
had never planned. Tyler was still in my heart but I knew
that seeing him again was not in the cards, I would die here
at anytime, he would go on and

     I would lie rotting in a quickly dug grave. Completing
my checklist from memory, I waited in line to take off
heading to a rendezvous with the enemy.  On this sortie I
was the wing commander, we reached 100 miles out, then 125,
175 and then below us moving slowly across the almost mirror
like surface of the ocean was the enemy steaming toward some
unknown destination.  I radioed the enemy's position and
ordered the attack as I rolled out of formation and headed
to the largest target to drop my bombs.  Fate dove with me
and sent my bomb to its target. Explosions rocked the ship
and my plane as I moved over the target.  The squadron's
planes bombed ships one after the other as payback for our
losses. Having dropped all our munitions and carrying only
enough ammunition to protect our return flight we headed
home, at least on this flight everyone would return, tired
and worn but intact.

     We returned to a darkened airfield, our planes were
quickly refueled and we were sent skyward without rest or
food, the enemy was making a push to take the island and all
defenses were needed.  One hour of flying just above the
clouds 150 miles out kept us out of enemy sight. Radio
silence was broken as we were given coordinates to hit the
enemy with a surprise attack.  The battle began faster than
anyone suspected, as we dropped from the clouds we were set
upon by twice as many fighters as we had in the air.  Planes
dropped from the sky at an alarming speed and two hours into
the battle the Japanese broke off their encounter and headed
off into the night. I'd been hit in the shoulder, the canopy
had a large hole, I looked at my arm blood flowed freely no
feeling remained. My mind was clear and I was tired, very
tired. My radio was out. One of my buddies flew cover beside
me, I pointed to my shoulder, for a moment I let my hand
fall away from the stick and it was then I felt the rush of
blood from my stomach, there was a large hole in my stomach.

     An hour felt like a day, I gathered up my shirt and
pushed it against the hole in my stomach trying to stem the
flow of blood, pulling it tight with the straps on my chute.
The planes engine began to leak blowing oil onto the canopy
and engine, the heat of the engine ignited the oil. Cutting
the fuel supply switch didn't stop the fanning of the flames
and the heat inside the cockpit was becoming unbearable. I
felt my skin burning and my plane began to fall toward the
sea I fought with all remaining strength to wrestle the
canopy open, the flames lapped at my skin and clothing.  I
jumped from the plane, my uniform on fire my body in agony.
I hit the water and was almost in shock from the pain of
salt water on wounds. I crawled atop a piece of wreckage
with the last of my strength.

     I was rescued but I don't remember how, what I remember
is being lifted into the back of an ambulance. It felt like
my body had given out, I don't remember much from that point
until I woke up in the hospital in Honolulu.  My arm and
shoulder were heavily bandaged and my stomach felt like a
hot branding iron was pushing on it; I could make out a
blurry image of someone standing next to me as I tried to
focus.  I heard someone talking about an operation and once
more I was lost from memory. The next time I woke up I was
on a ward with wounded soldiers and sailors.  My arm was
still attached at least by sight but I couldn't feel any
sensation in my arm, I looked to my side and knew it was
still there, that was all that really mattered.  A tube ran
from my stomach into a glass bottle hanging next to me.
Nurses complained that I slept too much, they wanted me to
sit up, but I just didn't have the strength or desire, not
yet, I was afraid. My skin was burned over most of my body
the feeling was more than I could stand at times.

     My first letter from home made me sit up. Tyler wrote
about the farm and how much everyone loved and missed me,
how proud they were and wanted me to come home soon.  I
folded the letter closed my eyes and cried, I loved them all
and missed them so much at that moment.  It took me a while
to stem the flow of tears and once I did I eased my back up
against the back of the bed and sat up waiting for my
lightheadedness to pass.  Within three weeks I was told to
get out of bed, I put my foot on the floor and then the
other and soon I was shuffling down the hallway leading to
the bathroom, after almost a month I peed on my own. I
walked down the hall I had to go outside.  As the door
opened the first blast of warm wind hit me in the face
startling me, then I saw the familiar palm trees, I turned
and looked at the bay and saw the destruction of December
7th a sad reminder as workmen hurried over the piers
carrying out work.  After fifteen minutes I was worn out and
returned to my bunk. Each day the amount of time I spent
sitting in the sun increased. One morning the doctor came by
my bunk and ordered me to undergo therapy for my arm, he
spoke of the muscles and tissues and what he hoped would be
accomplished.  Over the next several weeks I worked
relentlessly to get my arm to work, I gained feeling slowly
but motion in my shoulder remained limited. After three
months all that remained of my stomach wound were scars,
with my arm working somewhat I could hold a glass in my
hand, but I'd never fly again.

     When the words left the doctor's mouth, I found myself
staring at him and everything I felt inside at that moment
was anger.  Over the next weeks I was loaded on a transport
back to the United States after another month in the
hospital I was given a train ticket back home. The train
took me all the way home to Georgia. I caught the bus taking
me the remaining two hours to town and I walked the
remaining way home slowly, I hadn't told anyone I was coming
home. Mom screamed from the front porch where she had been
shelling peas, Dad came a running, I could see mom pointing.
Dad ran down the steps as fast as he could, he looked at me,
"son," and took me in his arms.  I put my head on his
shoulder and cried as he helped me walk slowly toward the
porch.

     Mom waited at the steps, she threw her arms around me,
kissing the top of my head, "Zachary we love you boy, we've
missed you so much."  We held each other for a few minutes
before Mom and Dad helped me up on the porch. Mom looked at
me with a smile.  Mom hurried off to the kitchen to fix a
special dinner while dad went off in search of Tyler.  I
walked in the house and to my bedroom.  I removed my jacket
and lay back on the bed closing my eyes, then I stood up
once more and removed my shirt and T-shirt, I had to make
sure Tyler saw what he would have to deal with from here on
out, a cripple with burn scars over my chest and shoulders,
scars covering my stomach and arm. I heard the door open and
close softly, I felt Tyler sit on the edge of the bed and
gently bend forward and kiss my shoulder I felt his tears
warm against my skin. I opened my eyes and looked into
Tyler's eyes, I couldn't talk, Tyler cried in my arms, he
kissed my chest over and over, "Zach, I never stopped loving
you, I've waited all this time for you to come home, now
that you're here promise you won't go away again."
     I gently caressed the side of his face my lips pressed
against his and my hand on the back of his neck my fingers
gently holding him.  I'm not sure how long we lay there but
neither of us moved. Tyler's fingers moved over my body
gently. His head rested on my shoulder, he whispered his
fears telling me he was afraid I wouldn't come back to him
and if I did I wouldn't feel the same. The fingers of my
good hand moved gently in his hair and across his face. He
turned and looked at me, he said he would have died had I
not come home I looked deep into his tear streaked face and
made him swear to me to never leave me. He nodded his head
and cried softly as I held him. I pulled his lips to mine
and kissed him, neither of us moving until Mom called
dinner.
     Tyler stood up and helped me to my feet, I held him
tight against me, I tilted his head back and looked in his
eyes, "I'd have died a hundred times, but each time I fought
harder because I knew you were here waiting for me, I love
you more than anything in this world and I always will."
     I ran my fingers through his hair and he looked in my
eyes "Zach I've never stopped loving you never." Tyler
poured water from a pitcher into the sink and washed my face
and he helped me take my uniform off.  Tyler ran his hands
over my bare chest and stomach, I kissed him then put on my
a shirt and pair of pants while Tyler carefully hung my
uniform placing it in the closet.  We went to the kitchen to
eat.  Mom, Dad and Tyler were interested in everything that
had happened in the war, so I told them everything I had
seen and done, all the way up to the day my plane crashed.
Dad looked at me and told me how proud he was. Tyler waited
for a moment before cutting the meat on my plate, I looked
at my parent's their expressions didn't change and I didn't
care if they had said anything.

     After dinner we sat on the porch and enjoyed a cool
evening breeze and a sky full of stars.  Tyler sat next to
me, his leg pushing against mine. Tyler looked over at mom
and dad, he said he had an announcement, "I'll be leaving
the end of the week."  Everyone looked his way; I was
shocked and felt immediately like I'd be sick, Tyler looked
at me and pressed his leg tight next to mine, "what?" dad
repeated.

     "I bought my families farm back during the auction last
month.  It was a far sight cheaper than when the sheriff
sold it when I was just seventeen.  I've worked on it every
spare minute I've had, even had some workmen come in and
help out.  It's ready to be lived in.  Tyler and me have
been saving all these years to buy a farm, I need a place of
my own. I'll still come round and help you as much as you
need, you all have been like family to me these last four
years and I'll never forget your kindness.  I'll be getting
my land ready to plant this next season and I promised Tyler
we'd share in the profits from the farm, it's his farm too
if he wants to make a go of it. I looked at my parents, for
the first time in my life I felt free.

     I looked at Tyler and then at my parents. "Yes!  I have
my pension from the government and I can still work hard if
you don't mind a cripple?"

     Tyler looked at me, he put his hand on my shoulder,
"you're not a cripple to me," mom and dad smiled, "if that's
what you want?"  "It is."  That evening as we lay in bed
together behind a locked door, I told Tyler how afraid he'd
made me earlier.  He told me everything was meant to be a
surprise. Tyler hungrily moved down my body, I touched his
hair and my entire body shook with excitement. Tyler moaned
gently and his own body erupted without touch. He laid his
head on my lap and we talked until we slept, once more I was
a man, Tyler needed me.

     Before dawn the next morning Tyler and I did chores
before walking across the fields to our farm. Tyler kept
looking at me smiling and I looked at him wondering about
his excitement and mischievousness.  As we walked up to the
farmhouse I couldn't believe my eyes. The outside was
painted and around the house were flowerbeds neatly planted.
New steps led up onto the porch, Tyler pulled a key from his
pocket and handed it to me, he said all of this was for me.
I unlocked the door and walked in, the house was beautiful.
Tyler and I walked into the kitchen we had running water hot
and cold and an indoor toilet.  He smiled and said several
craftsmen worked on the house in their spare time to get
everything done.  The house was beautiful and in the master
bedroom where our bed would eventually be I held Tyler in my
arms and confessed my love for him once again. He held me
tight his body racked by sobs, the fear of the last four
years over for both of us, he cried with the knowledge that
I would always protect him, forever.
     During the week we moved furniture that my parents had
given us. Tyler's face brightened when he saw me looking
around, "I hired six people cost me almost a hundred dollars
to get this place in the shape it's in, but it's worth it,
belongs to both of us."  That night we learned about each
other once more and the love we both felt was as strong as
it had ever been. Tyler's touch was as gentle and desirable
and nothing could ever change the way I felt.
     We bought an old truck for seventy-five dollars and
used it for hauling, including furniture we bought at farm
auctions. We kept enough money in the bank to pay our bills
for the next year and my pension insured we'd always have a
monthly income.
     During winter of the following year my father became
ill, Tyler and me harvested the winter wheat my father had
planted, the doctor came to the house several times but he
wasn't getting any better, he had pneumonia and died, three
weeks short of spring.  I grieved for my father we'd built a
relationship of pride in each other, and I'd never forget
the way they had treated Tyler while I had been at war, they
made him feel like family.  I hadn't completely gotten over
losing my father when my mother also passed on.  The doctor
said it was a broken heart that killed her and I tended to
agree.  A few weeks after her funeral Tyler and I had no
choice but to go through the house and collect things we
needed for our farm and get the rest ready for auction.  On
a warm June day a few weeks from my birthday, the auction
company set about selling the memories of my youth, when it
was all said and done, everything brought top dollar.  My
parent's had been down to earth people, saving money and
keeping what they owned like new.  The check I received from
their insurance policies and for the sale of the farm would
certainly see us well into our old age if we never worked
another day. Throughout the summer and into fall I felt a
great sadness knowing my parent's were gone, Tyler was a
blessing because he understood my feelings and because he
loved me unquestioningly.  The following winter Tyler came
down with pneumonia, I got scared and panicked.  Not
listening to Tyler's objections I put him in the truck and
drove to the hospital in Atlanta, he was treated for almost
a week before he began to get better and then he was
released.  I nursed him at home and I complained to him that
I'd almost died in the war and the only thing that kept me
going was the thought of getting back home to him and
nothing was going to take him away from me nothing.  He
looked at me shaking his head, he told me he wasn't going
anywhere without me.  After 10 days he was his old self once
more.

     We put all full effort into planting crops and
improving our farm, our crops did better then expected and
when harvest rolled around we had 150 acres of pure profit.
We hired out the harvesting and were content to give up the
small portion it cost.  Once the silos at the mill held our
grain and the money was on its way to the bank we realized
what we had done, just the two of us.  We celebrated by
buying one of the new Ford Trucks we needed something
reliable.  We received 125.00 for our old truck. I remember
seeing the look on Tyler's face as he drove through town the
next day on our way to eat lunch at the hotel.  Neither of
us were big cooks nor did we mind paying 50 cents rather
then cook for ourselves.  Most of the people in the hotel
had just come from church.  We didn't attend and the few
times the reverend came around, he'd try his hardest to
convince us to attend.  After all, everyone in town thought
we were brothers, we knew we'd go to jail if we were ever
caught with each other and we planned for that to never
happen.  I loved listening to the radio while in the tub.


     We were about the only farm with running water and a
toilet inside.  Tyler was a genius when it came to working
with his hands.  The following year our crops did well once
again, Tyler said it was due to the care and attention we
gave all our plants and the fields.  I agreed with him.
Using the knowledge I had gained in the military we invested
in surrounding land, buying foreclosed property.  We lived
modestly wanting only to live somewhere we would be happy
and free.
     Tyler and I were 24 years old when the war ended with
the dropping of the Atomic Bomb in Japan. Neither of us had
ever lived anywhere but Georgia.  I told Tyler about San
Diego, he listened as I talked.  The following morning as we
were heading out to work in the fields, Tyler told me he
wanted to see California.  We had three weeks before we'd
have to get down to serious farming business.  We loaded up
the truck on Wednesday and headed to California.