Date: Fri, 25 May 2001 08:05:55 -0500
From: fsw99 <fsw99@pop.mindspring.com>
Subject: Chapter 12 of You Can't Go Back

Legal Notice: The following story contains descriptions of graphic sexual acts.

Don't read this story if: **You're not 18 or over,
**If it is illegal to read this type of material where you live,
**Or if you don't want to read about gay/bi people in love or having sex.

The author retains copyright to this story. Placing this story on a website
or reproducing this story for distribution without the author's permission
is a violation of that copyright. Legal action will be taken against
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			     You Can't Go Back

				  By Stan

(First, this is a true story as told to me by Dave. Dave was 12 when this
happened, so he doesn't remember all of the events, so I have to make up
some things. I will keep it as close to truth as I can. This happened
almost ten years ago, but it will be told in flashbacks and mingled in with
true events that happen to our group of young gay guys (and one old gay
guy, me). Or, things that have already happened that we are still dealing
with. I hope you enjoy this method of telling a story. I've never tried
anything like this before. If you are looking for lots of sex in the story,
better look elsewhere. This is more real life stuff. Sorry!

If you are curious about our group, we have our own web site. It is at
www.gayfreezone.homestead.com. Feel free to check us out. If you are a
young gay guy with problems, we are still accepting new members.)

			      Chapter Twelve

Bruce finally came to class with a split lip and his clothes all dirty. He
wouldn't look at me, and I was too ashamed to look at him. We could hear
the whispers in the background. By now, everyone knew. I couldn't
concentrate on anything for the rest of the day.

When we finally got out of school, I walked with him to the bus.

"There they are. There are the fags," someone yelled. Suddenly we were
surrounded by bigger boys. I guess the whole school knew now.

"So you guys are fags, huh? Didn't anyone tell you that we don't allow fags
here? If you didn't know that before, we're here to make sure you know it
now," a really big kid said.

"Leave us alone, will you?" I said.

One grabbed Bruce from behind and one grabbed me. They were both bigger and
stronger and we didn't have a chance. "So, is it true? Are both of you
fags?"

"I'm not," I yelled.

"Oh, you're not, huh? Are you?" he asked to Bruce.

"No. But I am gay."

"This one is not only a fag, he's stupid! It's the same thing, dork!" he
said, as he pounded his fist into Bruce's stomach. Bruce collapsed on the
ground.

"Let this one go. I just think he has a poor choice in friends. If we let
you go, you aren't going to turn into a fag, are you, little man?" he asked
me.

"No!" I almost yelled.

Everyone laughed. Except Bruce, of course. He couldn't laugh. They started
kicking him while he was down. They let me go, and I quickly ran off to the
side. I saw the bus driver who drove our bus sitting in his seat, waiting
on us. I ran over to him as fast as I could.

"They're hurting my friend. Can't you stop them?"

"Look kid, I get paid to drive the bus. I don't get paid to get involved in
anything else. If your friend is a faggot like they said, he deserves to
have his butt kicked."

God! What kind of world was this? I looked around and saw one of our
teachers. Her name was Mrs. Walker. I ran over to her as she was headed the
other direction.

"Mrs. Walker? I need your help! All those boys are beating up Bruce! Please
help me!"

She looked around, saw the circle and didn't say a word. She ran towards
them.

"Move it, boys, or you will all face detention or worse." They all
scattered. "Who started this?"  she asked, as she looked over at Bruce, who
lay bleeding and beaten on the ground.

"He did. He came up and said something to me and punched me in the face,"
said one of the bigger boys. "Isn't that right, guys?" All the guys around
nodded their heads yes.

"Well, if that's right, you didn't have to beat him like this, did you?
What's your name?" He told her and she wrote it down. "Now, all of you go
home. This is over. We might want to talk to you on Monday,
Mr. Jefferson. Now, go!"

Everyone scattered. No one wanted any problems with the principal on
Monday. I went over to help Bruce up but she said, "I'll take care of
this. You go get on your bus. I'm really tired of this!  This bullying has
to stop!"

I looked at her and then down at Bruce. He wasn't in any condition to look
back. I didn't argue. I just walked away and got on the bus, praying that
Bruce was all right. What I had feared all along was coming true. Our lives
were being wrecked.

************************************

The next morning, I waited anxiously for the bus to get to Bruce's bus
stop. I wasn't eating. I was sick with both worry for Bruce and shame that
I hadn't stood up with him. But how could I? I didn't want to get beaten up
at school.

He got on, but was limping a little bit. He sat down beside me, but winced
when he did.

"How are you feeling?" I asked.

"How do you think? I got beat up twice at school, and then my Dad beat me
last night. He still says that he is going to do that until I say I'm not
gay."

"Then tell him that."

Bruce looked up at me. "I love you. I can't tell him that."

"I love you too, but you can't just continue to take all these beatings," I
answered, as tears started to form at the corners of my eyes.

"I'm not giving in. No matter what. This isn't wrong. Both my parents keep
reading me bible verses, which have nothing to do with the way I feel about
you. We aren't doing anything wrong, dammit!"

Bruce had raised his voice, and others were looking at us. Not like they
weren't already. But now, they could hear, too.

"Bruce, keep your voice down," I whispered.

"Sorry. I guess I have been yelling and screaming so much lately, I don't
know how loud I'm talking."

"God, I'm so sorry."

Bruce kind of smiled at that. "Well, I guess you were right. It would have
been better not to come out to my parents. But, you can't go back and
change things, right?"

"No. I wish we could."

We didn't say much the rest of the way to school. And when we got out,
there was already a group of boys waiting for us, including Eric, who was
our friend. At least he used to be our friend.

It surprised both of us when it was Eric who lead the charge. "Hey faggot,
we want to talk to you."

"What do you want, Eric?" Bruce asked, handing me his books.

"I want to kick your faggot ass. Do you realize how much trouble I got into
last night with my old man when my brother told him my ex-best friend was a
faggot?"

"Eric, you know damn well I never made a move on you. We were friends, but
friends only. Why can't we still be friends? I'm still the same person you
were friends with before."

"Everything is different now. You were lying to me the whole time."

"I didn't lie to you. I wasn't sure I was gay then. I might have been
wondering, but I didn't know for sure. And I wasn't sure I could trust you
to tell you what I was thinking. Looks like I was right about that."

"You got that right. I would have kicked your butt then just like I'm going
to kick it now," Eric yelled and swung wildly at Bruce. Eric was lots
taller, but Bruce was quicker. He easily dodged his punch, and landed one
of his own to Eric's nose.

The fight was intense, but short lived. Mrs. Walker had talked to the
principal when he arrived that morning and he was patrolling the
grounds. He quickly broke up the fight. Both boys were bleeding from their
mouths.

"What's going on here?"

"We just had a disagreement," Eric said.

"Well, you know better than to get in a fight at school. What you do after
you leave here is your business, but no fighting at my school. Do you
understand?"

"Yes sir," both Bruce and Eric answered.

"Ok, to my office right now. Both of you."

I handed Bruce his books and he and Eric followed the principal to his
office. I started to walk to class, when three boys in my class stopped
me. "Are you sure you aren't a fag, too? We all think you are."

"Me? No way. I'm just friends with Bruce. You know that."

"We were too, but nobody around here is going to be friends with fags. If
you know what's good for you, you'd better stay away from him, too, or we
are going to give you a taste of the same medicine. And we may start right
now. There isn't any other teachers around to stop us this time.  You have
to choose. Either you are with us or against us. What's it going to be?" he
asked.

I looked at all three of them. They all had serious expressions on their
faces, and had their hands balled up into fists. Three against one. What
could I do? "With you, I guess. I just feel sorry for Bruce. He's getting
beaten at home and here."

"Well, it's his own damn fault. If he hadn't decided to be a fucking
faggot, none of this would have happened. And he's going to Hell to
boot. My Dad said that last night. Come on, you can hang out with us from
now on and leave the fag alone."

He put his arm around me, and we walked to class like nothing had
happened. But my heart was beating a million miles an hour. I had been sure
I was about to get my first beating at school like Bruce had gotten. My
head was spinning. I loved Bruce, but I just couldn't face what he was
going through, even for him. I loved him, but I was scared to death. And
also deeply ashamed of myself. But I took the coward's way out. Again!
Shit!!!

************************************

"Boys, you know my policy against fighting, and Bruce, this is the second
fight you have been in in two days, isn't that right?"

"Yes sir, but I didn't start either one. And yesterday, it was a whole
bunch of boys fighting me, not just one."

"Why did several boys get into a fight with you at the same time? What did
you do to start this?"

"Nothing, sir. They all jumped me."

"It's because he said he's gay," Eric said.

Bruce blushed. "Is that true, Bruce?"

He hesitated, then said, "Yes sir."

"Well, I imagine you are going to face more of that in the future. I'll try
and stop it when I can, but folks don't take kindly to that kind of
activity in South Dakota, I'm afraid. Nevertheless, we have rules here
about fighting at school, and I can't change them because one student has
told everyone he is a faggot. Gay, I mean. Three days suspension or ten
whacks with the paddle for both of you. Which will it be?"

"I'll take the paddle," Eric said.

Bruce's mind was clouded. If his Dad found out he was suspended for school
for fighting, even if it wasn't his fault, he would be beaten even worse
than before. But his butt was already so sore, he didn't know if he could
take anything else.

"Bruce, which is it?"

"Uh.  " ‘Fuck it', he thought. "I guess the paddle, too." ‘What the
Hell, my ass is going to be nothing but bruises soon, anyway'.

"The paddle" was a long, thick piece of wood with a long handle that hung
by a leather strap in the principal's office. In a very prominent place,
where all the students would have to see it when they came in. He got it
and said, "Well Bruce, I guess you need to go first. When you are done,
then you can go stand in the corner while I administer Eric's punishment. I
don't think I should let you stare at Eric's naked butt when I spank him,
you being gay and all. Bend over the desk and drop ‘em."

‘Shit!' Bruce thought. ‘I didn't know this was going to be bare
butt!' It was too late now, though.  He just walked to the desk, dropped
his jeans and boxers to his ankles, and bent over the desk.

The intensity of pain of the first hit surprised him. He was lots more sore
from his other three beatings by his father than he had expected. He almost
cried out immediately. He did, on the second. And third. By the fourth, he
was crying openly.

Eric was surprised how easily Bruce had cried. He had always been a tough
kid. ‘Well, that just shows what fags are made of', he thought. ‘I'll
show him how a real man takes his punishment.'  With that thought in place,
he smirked as he enjoyed watching Bruce's butt get redder and redder and
him crying during it.

Bruce's reaction also surprised the principal. This was the first time that
Bruce had ever been in his office for any kind of trouble. He was also
secretly a gay hater. Since Bruce had only defended himself when he had
been attacked, he really should have only punished Eric, but this was just
too good a chance to pass up. So, he added a little more vigor into his
swats, just for the fun of it. He usually only did that for the real tough
guys, the huge football players and rough neck seniors.  After all, no one
would know that but him, right?

‘8. Shit, I don't know if I can take too more. OW! 9. I think I'm going
to die. He must be swinging it as hard as he can. OOOHHHH!! 10!!
Finally'. Bruce laid there for several seconds before he had the strength
to stand up and pull up his clothes.

"When you can, go and stand in the corner while I tend to Eric, Bruce," the
principal said sarcastically.

Bruce finally winced, and walked to the corner. Both Eric and the principal
exchanged a grin as Eric took Bruce's place. "I think I can take it with no
problem, sir. Sorry for causing so much trouble."

"I'm sure you can, Eric. As long as you pay for your mistakes, everything
is fine afterwards. I won't hold any grudges against you, and I hope you
won't with me."

Eric grinned, as he dropped his jeans and boxers and leaned over the
desk. "No sir. None at all."

Eric's went fast. He got just what he had hoped for. Very light
strokes. Not much pain at all. He didn't make a sound.  When it was over,
he and the principal exchanged another grin. "You took that much better
than Bruce did, Eric. I'm proud of you. Both of you can go to your classes
now."

The message was clear. Gay bashing was in season in this school in South
Dakota. And Eric would let everyone know.

************************************

Bruce wouldn't even look at me at he limped into our class. Eric walked in
to grins from everybody. He even said, "Is it hot in here? My butt feels a
little warm." Everyone laughed. But me and Bruce.

Finally, it was lunch. I walked over to Bruce, hoping to talk to him, but
Eric and his group got to me first. "I thought you were going to leave fag
boy alone."

"I am. I was just going to talk to him for a minute."

"Look, I guess you're slow. I'll make it simple. We're at war with fag
boy. There are two sides.  Ours and his. There's no middle ground. Anyone
in the middle is on his side. We aren't through with him yet. The principal
doesn't care. He as much as told me he is on our side when he whaled the
shit out of Bruce's butt today and gave me little love taps. He could give
me a hundred of those before it would start to hurt. Bruce was yelling
after his second. Crying openly after his fourth. I thought he might pass
out at the end. We are going to run him out of this school. He's going to
have someone beat him up every day from now on. And anyone on his side is
going to get the same treatment. Now, who's side are you on?" Eric growled.

I stared at him and did what I had to do. "Yours." I was sick with worry
about Bruce, and totally ashamed of myself. I was a coward, and I knew
it. And I had totally lost my appetite, which was really strange for me.

"Ok. Stay away from him then. Come on, you can eat with us."

Eric lead the way to the lockers, where we ditched our books and got in
line for the cafeteria slop.  Bruce had gone ahead of us, and was sitting
at our normal table. Eric and his group walked right past him to the next
table and I followed like a dog on a leash. What could I do? I was scared
shitless, I just couldn't go through what Bruce was facing.

As they ate, they constantly made fag jokes and said things that Bruce
could obviously hear. He finally looked up and caught my eye. We stared at
each other for a second or two, and then I looked away.

Bruce immediately got up and took his tray to the trash. I felt sick
inside.



To be continued.

Comments are always appreciated. They can be sent to
stan992001@hotmail.com.

Visit our web site at <www.gayfreezone.homestead.com>