Date: Mon, 14 May 2001 08:26:11 -0500
From: fsw99 <fsw99@pop.mindspring.com>
Subject: Chapter 7 of You Can't Go Back

Legal Notice: The following story contains descriptions of graphic sexual acts.

 Don't read this story if: **You're not 18 or over,
**If it is illegal to read this type of material where you live,
**Or if you don't want to read about gay/bi people in love or having sex.

The author retains copyright to this story. Placing this story on a website
or reproducing this story for distribution without the author's permission
is a violation of that copyright. Legal action will be taken against
violators.

E-mail responses to the stories, story suggestions or other 'constructive'
comments or advice may be sent to: stan992001@hotmail.com. All e-mails will
be answered.

			     You Can't Go Back

				  By Stan

(First, this is a true story as told to me by Dave. Dave was 12 when this
happened, so he doesn't remember all of the events, so I have to make up
some things. I will keep it as close to truth as I can. This happened
almost ten years ago, but it will be told in flashbacks and mingled in with
true events that happen to our group of young gay guys (and one old gay
guy, me). Or, things that have already happened that we are still dealing
with. I hope you enjoy this method of telling a story. I've never tried
anything like this before. If you are looking for lots of sex in the story,
better look elsewhere. This is more real life stuff. Sorry!

If you are curious about our group, we have our own web site. It is at
www.gayfreezone.homestead.com. Feel free to check us out. If you are a
young gay guy with problems, we are still accepting new members.)

			       Chapter Seven

Bruce had been right about one thing. Carrying all those fish back to his
house was a pain in the ass. Carrying the shovel, tackle box, and fishing
poles wasn't much fun, but you could only carry the fish in one arm, and it
got quickly tired. So, you had to switch back and forth, from one arm to
the other, over and over, until you just had to take a break. Hey, we were
twelve!

We had to switch off several times, but we finally struggled back to his
house. We were both sweating profusely. But, we were early. Thank God! No
spanking for that! Now, I'm doing it. I have to get spanking out of my
mind!!!!

When we walked in, Bruce's Mom was all over us in a heartbeat. "Boys,
you're dripping wet.  What happened?"

"Well, we caught a few more fish than we thought we would. See?" Bruce
asked as he held the two strings of fish as high as his tired arms could
raise them.

"Those are beauties. Lots of trout and bass. They'll have a feast
tonight. Let me have them and I'll wrap them in newspaper until they can
get them home." She took the fish from Bruce, who looked relieved to be rid
of them, then said, "You boys get upstairs and get a quick shower.  Bruce,
loan him some more of your clothes. I have a feeling that you boys are
going to see lots of each other and it wouldn't hurt for each of you to
have clothes at each other's house. I'll make sure it's Ok with Dave's Mom,
but I'm pretty sure it will be. Dave, just leave your clothes in Bruce's
dirty clothes hamper. Now go!"

We both went. She seemed like she wasn't in a mood for the subject to be
discussed. We are 12, she was.... well, she isn't 12, and owns a hair
brush. There I go again, more spanking thoughts! I don't seem to be able to
get it out of my mind! And, I don't ever want one!!! And, I don't think I
ever will get one again, if I'm careful. (Well, I wasn't, but that's for
later on.)

Anyway, we ran upstairs and closed Bruce's door. "I know, don't tell
me. Get naked again," I said.

"You got it," Bruce said, as he walked over and got out two pairs of
boxers. "You can put these on to go across to the bathroom, or you can be
brave like me and look to see if anyone is in the hall. But, strip. And put
your clothes in the hamper in the corner. I'm not cleaning up after you."

"Man, you won't even pick up my underwear off the floor after I drop them
for me. Some best friend you are."

"Well, I might pick up your underwear, but I wouldn't pick up anything
else. Just put the damn clothes where I tell you, Ok?"

I continued to take off my clothes, but I guess I was confused. Bruce was
sending out some big time signals. Did he like me? Could we be boyfriends?
I didn't have a clue, but I was definitely wondering.

This was so strange. It seemed normal now that we should be naked
together. I actually finished getting out of my clothes before Bruce did,
for once. This was only Sunday. Was it only Friday that all of this
started?

We took a quick shower. Yeah, together. Bruce didn't ask this time, he got
in and I followed.  Eagerly.

My Mom showed up right after we got back downstairs, and Bruce's Mom had
packed the fish in a black plastic trash bag. We loaded it into the car and
left for home.

My Dad was very impressed about how many fish we had caught. He was the one
who had taught me to fish, and he got a huge grin on his face when Bruce
told him that I had caught lots more of them than he had. Bruce was a good
guy. He didn't mind adding on praise when it was justified.  Or, maybe he
was just working my old man.

There was an old TV show I used to see sometimes called "Leave It To
Beaver". It was filmed like a hundred years ago, but I was only allowed to
watch certain programs until it was time for bed, and this one my parents
really seemed to like, so Fred and I watched it, too.

There was a character on that show named Eddie Haskell, I think. Something
like that. He would sweet talk all the grownups, make them believe that he
was an angel, but when their backs were turned, he was a major
troublemaker. Bruce had a little bit of that in him. He always said exactly
the right thing in front of adults. He could get anything he wanted. All he
had to do was tell them something, and he had them eating out of his
hand. That, I wanted to learn from him. Lots more than anything he knew
about farm life. I wanted that magic. I wanted parental control more than
anything.

I was kind of waiting on the other side, though. The troublemaker side like
Eddie Haskell. Maybe Bruce wouldn't act like that. I didn't know. He acted
enough like him that I was keeping a close watch out for that side of him
to emerge, though.

Dad helped us clean the fish. Well, he did most of the cleaning, but he
showed us how, and we helped some. Bruce already knew how. Of course! But,
he watched as Dad explained it to both of us, just like he had never
cleaned a fish in his life. Who cares? His act was working. Dad loved him.

The fish were great. Mom cut up some potatoes and fried them, and
everything was really good for once. Almost as good as if Bruce's Mom had
cooked them. Have I mentioned I want them to adopt me?

Mom has one thing in common with Bruce's Mom. She never forgets anything
that you have to do, but don't want to. After dinner, she sent us upstairs
to finish our homework. That was Bruce's fault. He had admitted it in front
of both Mom's.

Once we had started, I didn't really mind, though. I kind of liked lording
over Mr. Perfect in some things. Lord knows he does that to me enough. Old
saying. ‘Payback is Hell'. Good saying. I was paying him back, and he
knew it. But, you know, we joked about it, teased each other back and
forth, and just became better friends. Well, he became better friends with
me. I fell deeper in love with him. I was beyond friends.

He was doing lots better in math. Almost up to my level. I didn't know if I
wanted him to improve that much. I kind of liked having this
advantage. Just kidding. I guess.

We finished and were allowed downstairs again. Dad was changing channels,
looking for something to watch. What a weird coincidence. Damn if he didn't
settle on ‘Leave It To Beaver' on some obscure cable channel. It did
seem fitting, somehow.

We were soon sent to bed. We both quickly stripped down to our boxers
(Yeah, I had kept them on. I kind of liked them. Plus, they were Bruce's.)
and got into bed. I turned out the light, said good night, and turned away
from him, facing the wall. He hesitated, then said, "I'm cold. You mind me
getting closer?"

"No," I answered, as my heart started beating faster.

He moved over until his body was spooned against mine from the rear, and
put an arm around me, resting his hand and arm on my stomach. Little Dave
was instantly awake. "Is this Ok?"

"Yeah." Another long speech.

"Ok. Night, buddy."

"Night." My mind was going a million miles per hour. Was he going to move
his hand further down? If so, he couldn't miss little Dave. I lay very
still, wishing for that to happen. But, it didn't.  We both just lay
quietly, and soon both of us were asleep with contented smiles on our
faces.

The school week fairly flew by. We invented reasons that we needed to study
together and were allowed to spend the night with each other on Tuesday at
my house and Thursday at his. The extra set of clothes at each other's
house was proving to be a great idea. Plus, when I was forced to stay home
by myself, I would sleep in Bruce's boxers. It wasn't the same as sleeping
with Bruce, but it was better than nothing. I was always careful to fold
them neatly and return them to my underwear drawer first thing the next
morning. I didn't want to have to explain that.

We slept the same way we did on Sunday night on Tuesday, Bruce spooned up
against my body. I liked being held, but I also wanted to touch him.

On Thursday night, I did something I didn't think I would ever do. I became
the aggressor for once. Hey, Bruce had kind of made it plain that we were
becoming more than just best friends, so I guess it made me brave. I mean,
best friends, no matter how close, don't exactly hold each other as they go
to sleep, do they? Well, do they? Unless they are feeling more for the
other person than just friendship. At least, that's what I hoped was
happening.

So anyway, I made Bruce get in first and told him to lay down on his
back. I turned out the light, then crawled in next to him, laid down on my
stomach next to him, and put one arm around his stomach. He seemed pleased
by this, and said, "Lift up your head for a second."

When I did, he slipped his left arm around me and pulled me closer. Wow!
Now this was more like it. "Night, Bruce."

"Night, Dave," Bruce said, and leaned over and kissed my cheek. He quickly
pulled back like my face was hot or something. "I'm sorry. I don't know why
I did that," he said quickly.

Hell, I did. And I loved it. "That's Ok. I thought it was nice," I said, as
I lifted my head and kissed him back on his cheek. "There, we're even."

Bruce didn't say anything else and neither did I. We just both drifted off
to sleep with smiles on our faces.

Nothing was said the next morning by either of us, even though we had woken
up with our legs and arms tangled together. We just both smiled, and went
to get our shower and take care of the morning duties in the
bathroom. Bruce turned on the water so it could get hot, and I stood in
front of the toilet so I could take my morning piss.

"Move over."

I did, and Bruce added his own stream to mine. We looked up at each other
and smiled. We were sharing everything, even peeing. I was happy as Hell. I
didn't think I could get any happier. Boy, was I wrong.

School really dragged that Friday. Isn't Friday the longest school day for
everyone? You know that when you get out, you have two whole days to do
anything you wanted to do. Well, except for the damn homework they always
gave you to do over the weekend.

I was going to spend the night again with Bruce, and he was coming to my
house all day Saturday. After we finished his chores, that is.

The day was finally over and we talked non stop as we neared Bruce's house
on the school bus.  We ran inside, changed into old clothes (we had added
some old beat up clothes to what we kept at each other's house now, so we
wouldn't do anything to our school clothes) and did Bruce's chores quickly.

"What do you want to do now?" I asked.

"Well, we don't have enough time to go anywhere before dinner. Let's go
into the barn. There's something I want to show you."

I followed, hoping it wasn't the stalls that needed to be cleaned. I really
hated that job.

Bruce stopped by the steps to the hay loft. "Come on, lets climb up here,"
he said, as he started to climb.

I admired the great view of boy butt and quickly followed.

Bruce walked over to the window and looked out, like he was checking to see
if anyone was coming. Satisfied, he asked, "Dave, do you know how to jerk
off?"

Did I? Of course I did. Boy, if he only knew how much I knew. But, my mouth
froze. This was something I had been hoping would happen for a long time,
but now I froze. I couldn't say anything. I just stared at him and stupidly
shook my head no.

"That's Ok. Do you want me to teach you?"

Boy, did I! I shook my head up and down. That's yes, right? My head was
spinning so much that I wasn't totally sure. I would have rotated my head
in a circle several times if that would make Bruce touch me and let me
touch him. Maybe even turn my head around backwards like the girl did in
that scary movie ‘The Exorcist' that I wasn't allowed to watch, but Fred
had rented when our ‘rents had gone out for the evening one time in
Pennsylvania.

"Ok, great. Let me get a blanket that I put up here. It's over here in the
corner."

Wow. Bruce has planned this all out before hand. That's a really good sign!

Bruce spread out the blanket over the hay and said, "Come lay over here."

I readily did as he asked. "We have to get you hard first. Just lay back
and let me do all the work, then you can do me, Ok?" I looked him in the
eye and shook my head up and down. Several times. And very quickly. But who
was he talking to about having to get me hard? I had been hard as a rock
ever since he asked me if I knew how to jerk off.

He slowly unbuttoned my shirt then made me sit up a little so he could push
up my t-shirt that was underneath under my arms. Then he started to slowly
rub my chest and stomach with his hand. I almost came right then.

"Does that feel good? I like to do this to myself before I jerk off. It
gets me in the mood, especially when I play with my nipples." As soon as he
said that, he started to run his nails across my nipples, which had also
gotten hard as rocks. He even gently pinched them.

Now, this was something new to me. I never seemed to have any trouble
getting myself into the mood, especially since we moved here. All I now had
to do was think about Bruce naked, and I was instantly hard. But I liked
this. I liked it a lot. If I hadn't already been as hard as I could get, I
would have been now.

Bruce saw that I let out a big sigh, and smiled own at me. "See, I can
teach you lots of new things," he said as one hand started rubbing down my
stomach as the other one kept playing with my nipples. I just stared up at
Bruce, who was kneeling on the blanket above me.

Bruce's hand didn't stop at my belt and come back up like it had done
several times before. It went over my jeans and rubbed me between the
legs. I let out a small moan.

Bruce grinned. "Hey, little man, I feel something really hard down
there. Let's see what it is," he said, as his hand came back up and started
to undo my belt. He kind of fumbled with the snap of my jeans for a few
seconds, doing it with one hand. I almost yelled, ‘Use two hands,
dummy!' but I was content to let him do it any way he wanted to, as long as
he kept going.

He finally got my jeans unsnapped and unzipped and said huskily, "Lift up
your butt, Dave."

I eagerly did as I was asked, and he pulled down both my jeans and briefs
in one motion. Oh, boy.  Now we were getting somewhere. My little soldier
was standing straight up at it's peak length.  Ok, I wasn't exactly
massive. Only about 2 ½ inches long hard. I was 12, remember? Even for
12, that was pretty small, but I hadn't started puberty yet. Late bloomer.

Bruce didn't seem to be disappointed. He smiled down at me gleefully. "I
thought I could get you hard. Now, just wait till I show you the best
part." He then spat in his hand several times and grabbed me. The extra
spit allowed his fingers to easily slide up and down the shalt, and I was
in heaven instantly.

"Does that feel great or what?" he asked, as he smiled down at me. All I
could do was shake my head stupidly yes and lay there and enjoy.

He added more spit and speed. He clearly wanted his turn. I wanted this to
last as long as it could possibly could. It didn't, he won. I didn't
exactly lose, but I didn't get my wish. I came and came hard. Still dry,
but still powerful.

It was good enough that I was out for a little bit. I had no idea how
long. But when I recovered enough to look up, Bruce was grinning down at
me. "Tell me the truth. Of all the things I've taught you, wasn't that the
most fun to learn?"

"No doubt," I said, as I smiled up at him.

"Well, hurry up and get dressed again. One of us has to be dressed at all
times. We can't take a chance that someone might come in. If someone does,
whoever is dressed has to distract the person until the other person
finishes dressing. Ok?"

Man, Bruce had worked all of this out well in advance. He even had an
escape plan worked out in case of potential disaster. That made me
extremely happy. That meant he expected us to have a next time. And a next
time after that. And......... Well, you get the picture. And I liked the
idea. I mean, I REALLY LIKED the idea.

I slowly got to my feet and pulled up my jeans and underwear. I was very
tired all of a sudden.  Sex will have that effect on you. I buttoned up my
shirt and tucked both it and my t-shirt into my jeans and then buckled my
belt.

Bruce hadn't exactly waited on me. He had already unbuttoned his shirt,
laid down, pushed his t- shirt up, and had his pants and boxers at his
knees. I had watched the whole time, and almost shouted, ‘Wait! Let me
do it!' but I was still too scared. Shit! Well, there was always a next
time.  And I knew ‘next time' wasn't going to be too far away!

"You don't have to rub my nipples or stomach, I think I got ready watching
you," Bruce grinned.

I'll say he did. He was standing up straight as he could be, it was almost
pointing straight at his face, it was so hard. And he was lots bigger than
I was hard. He was maybe four inches long and lots bigger around. I was in
heaven.

"My turn. You're always doing something and saying we're even now. Well, do
me too and we'll be even."

I guess Bruce still didn't understand me yet. He sure didn't have to
convince me to do this. He would have to fight me off to keep me from doing
it. I just smiled down at him and said "Ok."  Bruce smiled back.

I knelt down next to him and grabbed his dick. It felt wonderful in my
hand. "Use lots of spit," he said.

I started to spit into my hand, then had a better idea. My past came
flooding back into my brain, and my mind went on auto pilot. Years of
training. Years of forced experience. I did what I had always done. I
opened my mouth, bent down, and swallowed his entire dick.

Bruce was expecting to have a good time, but he sure as Hell hadn't
expected that! He groaned immediately as I ran my lips up and down his
shaft. I bottomed out again, my nose buried into the small amount of pubic
hair Bruce had grown. Something I hadn't started growing yet, but was very
familiar with. I paused long enough to take in a big breath. Very strong,
but very Bruce. I loved the smell.

I started bobbing up and down on his shaft and got the expected
response. He was writhing on the blanket, moaning constantly. I kind of
smiled as good as I could with my mouth full, and continued. He didn't last
long. Both of us were too eager during our first bout of love making. He
finally yelled out, and came in my mouth. I was expecting it, and didn't
lose a drop. I milked him for everything he would give me. Wasn't a lot,
but enough for me to enjoy.

I sat up and watched Bruce recover. He was really out. It might be an hour
before he was able to get up after that performance. Boy, was I wrong about
that.

Then, I thought about what I had just done. This wasn't something that
Bruce expected like in the past. I had totally surprised him. What would he
think? Would he think that was way too gay for him, and break up our
friendship? Would he call me fag and make me go home? Would he tell
everyone else, including his parents, who would then tell mine? Suddenly, I
was regretting what I had just done, and regretting it badly.

Then something happened that scared the SHIT out of me. "Boys, come in and
get cleaned up for supper. Right now." It was Bruce's Mom, and she sounded
like she was right behind us. I jumped about ten feet in the air. Ok, I
exaggerated, but I did jump.

Bruce jumped too, but not like me. I had gotten to my feet and was looking
to see where she was.

Bruce got up and looked at me, and said "That's the intercom".

Intercom? Man, they had too much money. An intercom in a barn? I wanted to
smash it, I was scared so badly.

He quickly got dressed and followed me down the steps. Neither of us said
anything else. We really didn't have time. I followed him in the house, we
both spoke to his Mom, and went upstairs to wash up for supper.

He didn't say anything else about it the rest of the night. We watched TV
for a while and then Bruce said he was tired, so we went upstairs to go to
bed. This was a really bad sign. At least he hadn't told his parents what
I'd done, but he really wouldn't look at me for long, and I knew our
friendship was about to end. Damn it!!!!

To be continued.

Comments are appreciated and always answered.

Comments can be sent to stan992001@hotmail.com where all the guys can read
them too.