Date: Mon, 25 Sep 2006 14:03:52 -0700 (PDT)
From: Ashlyn Kimura <ashlyn_real_love_is_forever@yahoo.com>
Subject: Blood Gothic  chapter two (fantasy)

    A/N- I am so sorry this chapter took so long for me to post but here it
     is! I hope you guys aren't mad because of the delay. I've been going
        through a really hard time with being put on new depression meds
       and dealing with just recently losing my boyfriend.(Rest in peace
      Rodney) but here I am. And I promise my updates will me much quicker
           now. Love ya'll. Please feel free to leave me feedback at
      deadsincebirth@hotmail.com. good or bad, your opinions matter to me.

  This story is dedicated to Rodney Warren, my love, my world. Why you had
    to be taken from me so soon I will never understand... but I will always
                                   love you.


                           OoOoOooBloodGothicooOoOoO

                           OoOoOooChaptertwo ooOoOoO

                             OoOoOooMyBeingooOoOoO


The walls of the pool house were practically vibrating from the loud
music. Hadrian stood in the middle of the room holding on to the mic as
he tapped his foot in beat with the music. His hair was pulled back
making the dark blue and purple lights that lit the room make his eyes
appear almost cobalt blue. His long fingers wrapped around the mic which
had three or four black and purple scarves wrapped around it. "Hit it,
Hadge." Adam said looking at the dark haired young man. Hadrian smiled
before closing his eyes briefly. Suddenly the only thing he could feel or
hear was the vibration of the music flowing through his body, and then he
was lost...
Look into my eyes, tell me what you see?
I'm almost convinced you don't even know the real me.
What do you see when you look at me?
Is it someone worth crying over?
A person who's passionate and caring?
Well, that's something I will never be
When I stand in front of the mirror
And stare deep into my eyes
Do you know what I see?
A cursed and soul-less being
How can you love something that feels nothing?
I feel no pain, no sympathy or emotion
He opened his eyes and looked up at the bright lights above the stage;
the sound of the crowd cheering made his adrenaline level rise. He smiled
as he moved closer to the stage reaching out to touch the crowd's
reaching hands.
There is nothing in me
My being is empty
There is nothing that can fill me, but you can try
Try to fill me with your light, and make me feel again
End forever this longing of mine
The music stopped and he stared out into the crowd of screaming fans, a
smile tugging on the corner of his mouth as he turned to look at the
band. When he was here, on stage, it felt like he was free. No one could
ruin anything while he was there; it was definitely his safe haven.
OoOoOooBloodGothicooOoOoO
Back in the dressing room, Adam and Eli sat in arm chairs in the far
corner of the room as Hadrian stood in front of the mirror. "Look at
you, always messing with your hair." Adam joked as he leaned back in his
seat.
Hadrian dismissed the comment as he pulled his hair back into a ponytail
and turned to face him. "You guys did awesome tonight." He said tucking
a strand of his hair that had some how came lose being his pierced left
ear.
"Well yeah of course we were." Eli said smiling as he looked at the jet
black haired singer.
"Duh, but you were the star of the show." Adam said teasingly.
Hadrian shot them both a glare. "Will you two knock it off, I get enough
crap about the way I am already. I don't need it from you too."
"Oh come on Hadge, admit it. You're amazing. You have an amazing voice;
you just need to loosen up. You're too uptight." The red haired drummer
said rising to his feet.
"I am not uptight."
"You can be." Eli said crossing his arms over his chest.
"Whatever, I have places I need to be. I don't have time for this at
all." Hadrian answered grabbing his leather jacket off of the back of
the nearest chair, throwing it on and leaving the dressing room.
"Damn it, what's his problem?" Eli asked as he looked at Adam. "He
does that a lot now."
"He doesn't like what he has become, but he needs to deal with it. He
can't change back. We've accepted what we are and what we have to do to
exist. But he just -- I guess he has this lingering hope that maybe
he'll wake up and everything will be the way things used to be."
"But that will never be so." Eli said standing up and looking at Adam.
"We need to help him realize that before he ends up driving himself
crazy."
OoOoOooBloodGothicooOoOoO
Hadrian walked inside of his apartment and closed the door quietly behind
him. "So, how was the concert?" Tayven asked turning on the lamp on the
table beside the chair he was sitting in.
"What are you doing in my apartment? Don't you have other people you
can bother constantly?" The dark haired young man asked as he took of
his jacket and hung it on the clothing rack.
"I do, but you are far more fun to torment." Tayven said with a smile.
"Now, answer my question. How was the concert?"
Hadrian rolled his eyes. "It was fine... as usual."
"I bet you were absolutely marvelous." Tayven said standing up and
walking over to Hadrian. "You always are. You are nothing less than
perfect."
"I'm far from perfect." The dark haired man said as he turned to go up
the stairs but Tayven's hand around his wrist stopped him.
"Oh stop it Hadge, why must you make it so hard on yourself? Life could
be so much simpler; you just have to allow it."
"Life wasn't meant to be simple Tayven." Hadrian answered as he tried
to pull away but Tayven tightened his grasp. "Why won't you just let me
be?"
"Because I hate seeing you do this to yourself."
"What am I doing to myself? Please enlighten me." Hadrian said as he
finally managed to pull away. He looked at the older man and crossed his
arms stubbornly over his chest.
"You have a gift Hadrian, you're talented... beautiful... smart... you
just don't see it. You have it in your power to do whatever you want
with your life, you just need to find it in yourself to do it." Tayven
said gently caressing the dark haired young man's cheek.
"If I have it in my power to do whatever I want with my life, then why
can't I change?"
"Why would you want to change?"
"Why would I want to change?" Hadrian snapped. "Why the hell wouldn't
I?"
Tayven let out an annoyed sigh. "I try and I try to help you. To get you
to realize that there is no turning back, you are what you are and still
you do this. You continue to act like a stubborn child."
"I am not a child!"
"Then you better start acting like an adult Hadrian, because I'm
getting sick and tired of you constantly trying to live your life like
some filthy human. You will never be human again, do you understand
that!?"
Hadrian looked into Tayven's eyes, his fists clenched so tightly he
could feel blood pouring down the palm of his hand. "And I have you to
thank for that." He said as rolling his eyes again and turning to go up
the stairs, this time accomplishing it.
"Hadrian come back, don't pull this." Tayven shouted after him, but
the only reply he got was the bedroom door slamming shut.
OoOoOooBloodGothicooOoOoO
"What the hell is your problem?" Anaya asked as she walked into her
brother's room. Hadrian was lying on his stomach, his face buried in his
pillow.
"Go away."
"Oh come on Hadrian, cheer up. You were fantastic tonight." She said
approaching her brother and sitting on the edge of the bed." She reached
over and ran her fingers gently up his back. "Please, cheer up. I don't
like you in this state."
"Why can't anything ever go the way I want it to? I mean, look at me."
He answered as he sat up.
"There is nothing wrong with you, okay? You need to relax."
Hadrian let out a heavy sigh and stood up. "I really do need to learn
how to relax."



Raye Inaki Here!! I'm actually doing my job, editing. Oh The song was
for the most part my creation. Mine! Raye Inaki! Well, Ashe did start it
but came to me for help andI pretty much rewrote the whole thing. You're
doing Fantastic on this one Ashlyn!!!