Date: Sun, 24 Jan 2010 18:52:10 -0500
From: ainsleystories@cox.net
Subject: Diary of a Mad Man   [original submission chapter 1]

DIARY OF A MAD MAN

Copyright 2010 by Ainsley all rights reserved and Nifty has permission to
post and use this story.

     This work is copyrighted by me, the owner.  It concerns sex between
consenting adults.  All persons in this story are actually 18 years of age
or older.  You have to read several chapters of this ongoing story to
understand that.  If you are not 18 years of age, please go to another web
site.  This is a story concerning adult males having sex with other adult
males.  Please read the full disclosure after the first chapter.  My E-mail
address is ainsleystories@cox.net.  I have published other stories and they
are available on Amazon.com under my pen name of Ainsley.

CHAPTER 1

     This is the diary of a mad man.  I do not mean a crazy man, but an
angry one.  By all rights I should be crazy too, but I am not.  I am also
frustrated and probably the most privileged person on this planet.  It will
not make any sense, but I write and keep this diary for my own sanity.  I
have kept notes and have kept extremely detailed records that date back
roughly ten thousand years.  However, my records are for research purposes
and are not meant to be read by humans as a story or for any understanding.
They are simply a complete and comprehensive record of the evolution of
mankind for the last 10,000 years in cultural, social, economic and other
complex disciplines.  Disciplines that I have been taught and some of which
will not be though of for several more thousand years.
     I can not even tell you my name because over the years I have had
many.  I adopt a name when I become tired of my old name and as the times
and people change.  I was born to loving parents perhaps ten or eleven
thousand of Earth's years ago.  I would actually have to check the database
to extract the information.  Any answer I give you would be meaningless
because your sense of time and history is only of the last five or six
thousand years.  The machines and computers would probably give me the
exact number of times the Earth has revolved around the sun since my birth
if I queried them properly.  Mostly I gather information and do not analyze
it.  The machines do that part.  However, I can not help but to see and
observe things on my own.  I have my own opinions and feelings about
things.  You can't help not forming opinions.  If the machines give
predictions, they do so only as far as I need to know what action to take
for my own safety and preservation.  I can't be killed, but nothing is to
interfere with my work of gathering information.  In between gathering
information and making observations I am free to enjoy my life as I see
fit.  It is the quid pro quo.
     I say my parents loved me because my mother feed me from her breasts
until I could eat the food that was available for children and adults.  My
father, at least I believe he was my father hunted and gathered food for
us.  My older brothers and sisters carried water for us and stayed with us.
We had a place that I remember that we all lived in.  It was made of dried
mud and rocks.  It protected us from the weather and was fairly
comfortable.  We had some of the things we needed to live and be happy, but
nothing like the total luxury I live in now.
     I am telling you all of this because it may help you to understand me.
I know that it is unusual for anyone to remember their childhood or
anything that long ago.  Just try to understand.  I was a normal boy only
for those years that I lived with my parents.  I helped my mother and she
took care of me and my brothers and sisters.  I remember that there were
lots of children and some times one or more of them died.  It always upset
my mother and my father was not happy either when someone died.  I was
fortunate as I was healthy and grew up to be a strong young man.  I played
with the other boys and young children.  I helped my mother with my
brothers and sisters.  I liked them and I was more of a gentle boy than
some of the other boys.  I remember seeing my parents doing things all the
time that I didn't understand at first, but quickly understood with time
was how babies were made.  I had some young girls who were my friends and
were interested in doing that with me.  At the time we did some things, but
they were too young to have babies yet and so I could not give them a baby.
Mostly we just played around.  When we were young we didn't have clothes to
wear and as I got older and learned to hunt from my father.  Then I had
animal skins that we sewed together for blankets and even made pieces of it
into some things to cover ourselves as we got older.  Most of the young
kids ran around without clothes when they played.
     I know this sounds rather lame, but I was young and I am trying to
explain how things were before I learned any different.  It is no shame to
be naked when you can not afford clothes and you have no knowledge of any
reason to hide yourself.  However, as you got older, you did acquire some
feelings for hiding yourself.  Especially if you were a man and wanted to
keep from showing your interest in someone you wore something to cover
yourself between your legs.  I knew that I was different because I was more
interested in and wanted to play around with the other young boys rather
than the girls.  Nobody paid much attention as they needed young boys to
spill their seeds on the ground to make it fertile and to appease the gods
of the ground.  Some of us did it more often than was necessary because we
enjoyed doing it.  However, most of my friends found young girls to help
them spill their seeds and soon lost interest in our seed spilling games we
used to play as young boys.
     Some years were hard years as the god of rain did not always bless us
with abundant rain.  Then our plants and the grasses that the animals ate
did not grow as much.  Sometimes they died back and that was bad for
everyone.  In those hard times we did not eat as well.  Some people died
who could not work to help with all the things that had to be done to get
us food and keep the fires burning.  In those years our village did not
thrive.  Our animals had to eat the grasses that grew and we could get milk
from the female animals.  If we had enough animals we could kill one and
eat it if we could not hunt and kill the wild animals.  The young boys and
the girls had to help by getting firewood and keeping the community fire
going.  We also had a stream nearby where we could get water.  I know now
that we were quite fortunate as the water was good and clean and I now know
that we lived in a part of the world that was fertile and rather pleasant.
     When I got older it was assumed that I would take a girl and make her
my mate and live with her.  We would probably still continue to live with
my parents and help my them.  Perhaps with my family's help we could add
more room on to our dwelling.  I had grown into a nice young man.  I was
developing sexually and the young girls could see my manhood sometimes.  I
know the boys told their sisters and they must have liked what they saw or
heard about.  However, I could see the manhoods of the other young men and
I liked what I saw even better.  I had taken several girls and tried them
out and found the experience not as satisfying as my friends found it.  I
realized that I just did not fit in.  I did not say anything about it.  I
knew there were some men that preferred other men and boys, but most people
did not associate with them openly.  They kept to themselves so that they
could be with the men that wanted them as needed.  Some older men went to
them when their women were sick and could not have sex with them.  Others
went to them at different time for various reasons.  I knew that sooner or
later I would go to one of them when I got up the courage to try them.  I
think I was different from the men that usually went to them.  I wanted to
be with another man just for the pleasure of it.  For now, I just did not
do anything.  I was perhaps fourteen seasons old as best I can figure out
when I was out hunting with my father one day.  I was in some trees and
rather dense brush when I fell down and was trampled by a wild boar.  I
knew that I might not survive.  I closed my eyes and prayed to the gods to
take me to be with them and to not let me suffer.  I hurt.  I hurt very
badly all over.  I know that the red stuff from the inside of me, my life
stuff, was seeping out of me everywhere.  I could see it on my body and
feel it on my skin.  I knew that I was dying and regretted that I had not
had the courage to try to be with any of my friends.  I closed my eyes and
went to sleep.  I knew that I was going to see the gods and prayed that I
would be safe there and enjoy serving them.  Little did I know that I would
be seeing gods to me and that I would be serving them for the rest of
eternity.

     I awoke I do not know how much later.  I felt fine and sat up.  It was
a little difficult as I felt like I had slept for many days and was stiff.
I had done so once when everyone in the village had gotten sick one time.
Many people had died, but I slept for many days.  We had lost two of my
younger siblings that time.  A man dressed all in white was there and I was
in a large room.  The walls were totally flat and there was light coming
from the sky, but it was a ceiling where the light came from.  The room had
a ceiling and the light came from it and the top of the walls.  I was lying
on a bed that was raised up from the ground.  It was at the height of the
man's waist.  I knew that I must be dead and that this must be where the
gods lived.  I had never seen anything like this in my life.  The raised
bed was comfortable and the air was warm.  I knew that I was with the gods
and I had died.  For truly I had never seen a place like this anywhere
around the village.  Nothing like this existed except in our legends where
the gods lived.  They lived in great places of light and warmth.  It was
said that they lived in places surrounded by lots of treasures and food to
eat.  Everything they would ever need for all eternity.  They had all their
needs and wants supplied for them.  I knew that this was the afterlife and
I must be in that place that the good people go to be with the gods.  I
knew about bad people.  We had some that lived in our village or came
through from time to time.  Some people hurt other people, some people
killed other people for money, because they had sex with someone that
others liked and for other reasons.  Some people stole from other people.
I was familiar with bad people.  When we found bad people, the adults met
and made a decision that they could leave the village.  If they were very
bad people, the village men killed the bad person.  They could not let a
bad person live because they would just go and hurt or kill someone else.
They had intentionally hurt people or did very bad things and they deserved
to die.  I was a good boy and I loved my parents and always helped them and
the other people in our village.  I know that some people had spoken of
villages that were much larger where there were lots of people and many
more bad people.  From time to time some people, both men and women would
pass through our village.  The bad ones did not stay or never got a chance
to leave.  The men of the village did not have much patience with bad
people.  Life was hard work gathering food, taking care of the animals and
all of the children.
     The man spoke our language.  I did not imagine that our tongue was the
tongue of the gods, but if the gods had created us, then certainly he could
speak to us and wanted us to hear his words.  I asked where I was and he
said that I had been dying and left for dead.  My father believed that I
had died when they found me.  I said then, "I am dead?"
     "No.  You are very much alive."
     "If my father thought I was dead, why have I not died?  I must go and
find him and tell him.  He will be happy to heard that I am not dead."
     "To him, you are dead.  He saw the life flow out of your body and the
wild boar tear you apart.  If you were to go to him now he would believe
you are a ghost."  I looked horrified.  Ghosts were not usually good
things.  "That was several months ago and you have not returned.  He
returned with others to claim your body and all he found was rotting flesh
and some bones.  He knows that you are dead and they buried what they could
salvage of you and they all cried for you.  Your mother especially liked
you.  You were her favorite you know."  With that I wept for my parents
whom I loved very much.  "If you were to return to them, they might hurt
you believing you to be an evil spirit out to deceive them by appearing to
be their dead son.  They certainly would not welcome you as their son
because they buried you.  Rather they buried what they thought was what was
left of your body.  We supplied them with a body."  I continued to cry, but
gradually my tears dried and I looked at the tall man.  I know that I am
tall for my age.  I know now that I was about five foot six inches and I
believed I was only 14 at seasons old at the time.
     "Where am I to go and what is to become of me?"  I now cried for
myself and the fact that I had no life.  "Why am I here with the gods and
what has happened to me?  What shall I do?"  I thought about this and
realized it probably did not matter.  I was already dead.  I did not have
to worry about my life if I did not have one.  If I am dead, why should I
worry about dying?  I just did not feel dead and I was sore.
     "For such a young man you have lots of questions.  I can not tell you
the answer to them all at once as you probably would not understand even if
I did tell you."  He looked like a good and honest god.  He looked me
straight in the face, smiled and then continued.  "If you will be patient
with me I will try to answer your questions.  For now if you trust me I
will try to help you.  However, at any time that you want out of here and
want to go home I can bring you home.  Then, you will be on your own and
probably the people of your village will kill you.  You could go to another
village if they would accept you and live out your life there.  I don't
think you will do that.  We have been watching you for some time now and I
think that we know you better than you know yourself."  I looked at him and
he had started me thinking.  "Here is the agreement or trade that I will
make with you if you want.  I, rather we saved your life and healed you.
You owe me a debt.  A debt to at least hear me tell you what I would like
for you to do.  I will feed you and teach you things.  After you learn all
you need to know and all you want to learn, I will give you valuables that
will help you feed yourself and get started in the world.  Then we will let
you go your own way."  I was a little suspicious, but he was right.  He had
saved my life, and I owed him a debt.  I owed him a big debt and I would
repay that debt if I could.  It was the honorable thing to do.  Little was
I to realize that he was giving me a gift more precious and valuable than
gold and also more cursed than a demon god's greatest displeasure.  I
learned with time that he was a good man.  At that time I was not sure, but
he was not actually a man as I was later to come to know.  He also was not
a demon nor a god either.  He was simply a man like creature doing his job.
     "You are probably hungry."  He waived his hand and a servant brought
in a flat tray with some food on it.  I looked at the food and it was very
tasty looking.  It was a feast fit for a king or god actually.  It had meat
and other stuff to eat that smelled good and had lots of little things on
it on other smaller flat surfaces.  I was willing to eat and worry abut
what he wanted later as I realized that I was starving.  I started to get
up and he told me not to.  "You will be weak as you have been sleeping for
several of your months."  I looked up in astonishment.  "Your body was
badly mangled and required time to heal.  Also we had to repair your body
and teach it how to heal itself in the future.  We don't want you getting
sick and for us not to be around to heal you so we took some precautions.
We also had to fix it so that you could perform your tasks for us in the
future if you so chose."  I looked up worried.  "I can see the concern on
your face.  It is nothing that you would not want.  You will live a long
and happy life and never be sick again.  Unless you are careless, you need
not die soon either."  Again I frowned.
     "What did you do to me?"
     "Well, we made sure that you would not get sick when the people around
you are ill by repairing your cellular structure so that your regeneration
was complete.  You will age to maturity and then no longer have any
continued growth or degradation."  I understood none of what he told me.
     What does that all mean?"  I was puzzled by the big words that I did
not understand.  Much of what he was telling me did not make any sense.  I
had never before heard the words and it was like he was speaking another
language.  If I was with the gods, then they could do with me as the
pleased.  I would live forever with the gods as long as I did not displease
them.
     "It will be enough for you to know that you will never get sick and
you will age normally until you reach your maturity.  Say about 18 to 25 of
your years old.  Then you will not appear to age.  It will be useful for
you to be a frown man, but not an old man that the younger men think they
can take advantage of or overpower."
     "You mean that I can not get any older than 25 years?  When I get to
be 25 I will die?  You are truly a god if you can promise me to live until
I reach another eleven years.  There are some men who are much older in our
village, but they have their families to help them and there are not too
many people much older than that.  I know that in larger villages there
were much older people who were sought out for their wisdom and knowledge.
I had heard the old men of the village speak of them.  Then I remembered my
younger brother and sister who had died just two seasons ago.  I wondered
if I could see them.  I could be happy with living and existing that lone
if that is all that was meant to be.  Many of our people get sick and die
before their children are as old as I am.  My mother is lucky not to have
died already.  She has had many good healthy children and has made my
father proud of her."
     "You mistake me son.  You will not die when you are 25 years old, it
will just seem that you look no older than 25 and you will live to be the
oldest man in your village even though you will not go back to your
village."  I looked at him rather puzzled.
     "I can see that I seem to be talking in riddles and not making sense.
If you are patient with me it will all make sense.  First, we need to feed
you and then you can learn new things.  We awoke you because your body was
healed and now you need to eat."  So he handed me some shiny hard things
and one of them I recognized was a knife.  Only this knife was very slender
and small yet heavy.  The blade was strong but not very sharp.  I wondered
how I was going to cut my meat with it, but instead the meat was tender and
easily cut with the knife.  There were wonders here that astounded the mind
and that I had only ever dreamed of.  Good knives that were strong and
compact.  Nice rooms to live in that were clean and comfortable.  A bed
that was soft and smelled nice.  Light that allowed us to see inside a room
that had no windows and did not require us to burn lots of lanterns or
smoke up the place.  It was all magic.  Truly it was a marvelous place in
which the gods dwelled.
     I want you to know that much of what I am telling you I did not
understand at the time.  I am telling you these things in this story so
that it makes sense when I read it back or when someone else reads it for
the first time.  I know that you will not believe it, but I really do not
care.  It is the truth, entirely the truth.  I had no words for these
concepts and almost everything was foreign to me when this happened.  I
could not read or write at the time.  But I knew comfort and luxury even if
I had not ever experienced it to any great extent.  We had food to eat and
I had worked hard every day as did my parents and all of the family so that
we could survive.  If you did not work you could not live unless you were
wealthy.  There were not many people who were wealthy and none in our
village.  Some of the leaders had servants who worked for them and they
made the decisions for the village, but they did not have but a few more
blankets and more food that the rest of us.  There were warriors who would
come through it was told on horses and they stole what they wanted and then
moved on.  I suppose they were wealthy.
     I must describe my first taste of the food.  It was wonderful and
beyond belief.  I still remember to this day that the food tasted so good
to me.  Perhaps I was so hungry and perhaps it was just that good compared
to what I normally ate.  I did not care.  I ate it all and my belly
protruded some when I was finished.  Then my god set before me something
that was cold.  He gave me a metal shaped knife that had a flat part that
was rounded and could scoop up the cold substance.  He showed me how to
take some on what he called a spoon.  He put it in my mouth and the flavors
were beyond description.  It even had things in it and they were sweet as
honey, but tasted different.  I now know for certain.  He was surly a god
to eat this well and have enough to share with me, his humble servant.  I
had never before tasted this soft cold stuff with sweet stuff in it.  It
was gone all too soon.  I eagerly looked at him and he smiled.  "You should
not eat too much for your first meal.  You can have all you want later.  We
will feed you three times a day and you can have some snacks each day too.
Now we must begin with your education.  It will not be easy for you as you
are not used to learning in great quantities in any form.  First, we must
introduce you to your teacher."  He called out some name I did not
recognize and then spoke as if to the room.  I looked up as a door opened
by itself and in walked a young man who looked so nice.  He appeared to be
my age.  His skin was light brown, but not very dark.  My own skin had
grown lighter while I had slept, like it does in the winter too.  The man
looked at me and said, "I want you to meet ..." And then he pronounced a
name I could not understand.  I looked at him funny and he responded.  "You
can call him Mikal."  I am not really writing out the actual name as Mikal
is probably the closest thing to the name I used back then for my teacher.
     Mikal was my size and I guess age.  He also looked similar to me.  He
was wearing some very fine clothes, but they were rather sparse compared to
the fine clothes the rich men wore who rode through our village.  He had on
something that hugged his skin and yet seemed to provide him warmth and
comfort and still hide his body.  Yet I could see the shape of his body
through his clothing.  I liked the way his body looked.  He had a nice body
and the beauty of it was not lost or wasted on me.  I was going to have a
hard time not wanting to play with him.  I was not sure if these gods
accepted that here.  I had not seen one of their women, but surly there
were women here to have children, prepare the food and to keep the place
clean and neat.  I had not yet seen little children either.  The room was
very clean and there was no dust or dirt around.  Yet there were no
coverings on the floor or anything.  These people were wealthy in many ways
that did not show unless you thought about the strange and wondrous things
they possessed and where they lived.  "You are to go with Mikal and he will
show you around, where you can sleep, and where you can get cleaned up."  I
suddenly looked at myself and realized that I had on only a flat piece of
cloth that had been draped around my body and covered the lower part of my
body.  My god was clothed similar to Mikal, but in a much more loose
fitting garment.  I tried to get up, but was a little unsteady.
     "You have been asleep for about four of your moons and you will not be
steady on your feet.  I will help you."  Mikal said to me.  I gathered the
cloth around me and Mikal brought up a chair that had big wheels on it.  He
helped me into the chair and I sat on the cloth and gathered it around my
naked body.  He showed me that I could take the wheels and push them with
my hands and the chair would easily roll.  I caught on fast.  Then he told
me, "I will push you for now.  You don't know your way around and you will
be out of this chair in a few days at most.  There is nothing wrong with
you, but it has been so long since you walked that your body has forgotten
how to walk easily.  We don't want you to fall down and possibly hurt
yourself."  I was glad too as I didn't want to fall either.  Mikal pushed
me around for some time in what must be a lot of different caves.  We never
came out to the open sky and I could not see the sun.  There were no
windows and yet it was light everywhere we went.
     Eventually we came to an area.  He pressed his palm against the wall
and the wall moved.  There was an entrance to a room to the side of the
long narrow cave we were in.  The room was not huge, but it was of a good
size.  It was a nice room that was also fit for a king or god.  Why not,
this is where the gods dwelled.  All places should be fit for the gods.  I
guess even the non gods like me got to be in the god like places.  There
were chairs and other things to sit on and some tables and other things
scattered around the room.  On the tables and stuff were lots of things.
Many of the things I was unsure of did not know their purpose.  I knew what
bowls and knives were for.  I had never before seen things that looked like
these things.  I knew what boxes were for.  You put things in boxes, but
they were expensive in themselves.  On the other side of the room there was
another door and when he approached it, it opened without him having to put
his hand on the wall.  He pushed me into that room and there was another
raised bed.  It was large and was not as high as the one I must have been
sleeping on these last four moons.  The bed was large and fully four or
five of my siblings could have slept on the bed comfortably.  My entire
family would have fit just because it was so wonderfully soft when I
touched it.  I knew we would have all slept on it.  "This is where we will
stay.  This is our living space."  My ears picked up when he said that we
would be living here together.  I wanted to sleep with this beautiful boy.
     "If there is only one bed I would be honored to share it with you.  I
assume that this is where you have been living while I was sick and
sleeping on that small high bed where I awoke."  I could not refuse to
share with my new friend and teacher his riches.  I would seem to be
ungrateful for him and his god friends for saving my life.
     "You misunderstand.  This is your living space.  I am your guest."  I
had a puzzled look on my face.  "Let me show you around."  He waived his
arms and said this is your sleeping area and over here is where you will
bathe and wash up.  You must learn to keep yourself clean.  We have
different standards than you had in your village.  Do not worry yourself
about it.  I will teach you and you will learn quickly.  We tested you
before your injury and you are very bright and learn quickly.  You will not
have any trouble."  He waived his arm to another room with a door off to
one side and I looked inside.  It was large and had a big pot that was so
big that several people could get inside of it and I presume bathe.  I had
never seen a pot or container tht big.  I did not know such things existed.
The gods could make anything and any size they wanted.
     "I am clean."  I reassured him.  "Several times a month I go to the
stream and get into the water and swim and have fun with the other young
men of the village.  I also do so sometimes when it is hot just to cool
off."
     "Yes, I know that you do.  I have watched you many times from afar.
You could not see me.  I also know what you do when you watch the other
young men and they can not see you."  Instantly I got upset.  He had no
right looking at me when I did not know.  I suppose my anger showed in my
face.  I was upset because he knew what I was doing when I was watching
them.  I was ashamed that he knew that I played with my man thing and that
I caused it to get hard.  I would rub it and I spilled my seed on the
ground to make it fertile while I watched the other young men.  Mikal could
tell I was upset.  He moved toward me and I caused the chair to turn some
and move away a little.  I only did it because if I did not I could not
control my feelings for them.  After I did it I could go on without having
to try and be with them.
     "Come to me Adem."  It was the first time he ever said my name and he
held his arms out and open.  When I did not move toward him he looked at me
and surmised that I was upset over this revelation.  "Do not fear me as I
too am like you.  I too prefer the young men for my pleasures.  I will not
place any of my needs on you.  If you want to talk about it, I am here.  If
you never want to talk about it, then so be it.  I will not talk to you
about it unless you bring it up."  With that he pushed my chair out of the
bathing and then through the sleeping place and back into the big room.  He
then pushed me to an area that was used for the preparation of food he told
me.  It had lots of places with boxes with doors that opened and he showed
me a work area where he moved his hand and water began to flow as if by
magic.  These were powerful gods and I didn't want to anger them.  Mikal
must be a young god to live in such luxury and to have everything he needed
right there for him.  Lots of servants must labor to keep everything ready
for him.  Yet he was telling me this is where I was to live.  I could only
imagine the luxury that Mikal lived in if this was to be my abode.
     Next, he brought me to another door in the first room that I had not
noticed.  He touched the wall and the door nearby opened for him without
him touching the door.  There was a large pool of water there and some
strange things that Mikal said were my machines to help me exercise and get
better physically.  The room was larger than the area that twenty or more
families could have lived in.  The entire village could have fit into the
space if nee be.  He pushed me over to the water and I could see it was
clear.  I could see all the way to the bottom.  It was deep too.  Yet, I
could not see where the water flowed into his pond or where it flowed out
of the pond.  He must have had servants bring fresh water to his pond all
the time.  The number of slaves he had must number more than the people in
our village just for him to have his pond that is not feed by a stream.
The wealth and luxury of all this just amazed me.
     "We must get you better and get you walking quickly.  You are now fine
physically, but you are not used to walking."  He helped me up and the
cloth came away from my body.  I grabbed for it.  "You will not need that
here.  It is only you and me here and if you don't mind me seeing you
without any clothes, everything is fine."  I did not know what to think.
"If it will make you feel better I will take off my clothes."  I normally
am not this shy around other young men, but I could tell that he was
affecting me.  Many times we take off any coverings we have when we play
and run.  When we fall they could get damages or ripped so we take them
off.  He quickly stripped and he was beautiful.  He looked just like the
young men of the village that I had wanted to hold and be with.  He looked
just like a young god should look.  I never had the nerve to let them know
that I wanted to do that with them.  Mikal helped me up after he pushed me
to a strange device.  It had two wooden limbs that were very straight.
They were also big around as my arm and were a little further apart than my
shoulders.  The limbs were about at the height of my waist or a little
lower.  He helped me to stand between the bars and told me to support
myself with my arms and to use my arms to keep me from falling.  He told me
he was going to turn on the machine and we were going for a very slow walk.
He pressed something and where I was standing the floor began to move
slowly.  I was forced to hold myself up with my arms and move my feet to
stay in the same place.  We did this for some time and gradually Mikal kept
touching the bar somewhere.  Each time he touched the bar the floor began
to move faster and faster.  Finally, when I felt that I could not take any
more, he pressed again and the floor gradually slowed to a stop.  This was
a lot easier than walking because I could hold on and only had to move my
legs and feet.  I would not lose my balance and fall this way.
     "That is enough for now.  You actually worked up a sweat."  It was
true.  I could feel the water on my body.  "Now I will help you bathe and
show you how we clean ourselves."  He helped me back to the chair.  I was
weak and without his help I would not have made it.  We were both naked and
I did not feel any discomfort about that.  He pushed me back to the bathing
room.  In the bathing room he showed me an even smaller room.  He helped me
into this very small room that had a door that you could see through.  It
was big enough for about four people to stand, but they would be fairly
close and possibly touching each other.  On one side of the little room
there was a seat that he helped me to sit on.  He reached up and made some
adjustments and he took this long piece of what looked like thick rope.  He
brought it over to me.  Then he pressed something and water came out of it.
Amazing I thought.  I was so glad that I now lived with gods: they had
everything.  The water was warm too.  It was just the right temperature to
feel good, but not hot enough to burn you.  He reached over and got
something and he poured out some thick liquid that looked as thick as
honey.  He said that this was the soap that was used for cleaning.  I
smelled it and it too was like heaven.  It smelled like flowers, but bold
flowers.  It smelled like a man would like to smell and not like the
flowers that the women liked and sometimes gathered in the fields.  He put
some in my hair and he gave me the water rope to hold.  I got to play with
the water while he gave me my bath.  I really liked that.  I could point
the end of the rope in any direction and press where he showed me and the
water would magically shoot out.  I enjoyed that he washed my hair.  I was
too weak to actually do much for myself.
     I enjoyed him working his fingers in my hair and then all over my
body.  It showed that I liked him to touch me.  He washed me there real
good, but he did not play with me.  I think I was disappointed.  He was all
work and no play.  If he had asked I would have loved to give him pleasure
even if I was this weak and still sick.  He even showed me how to clean out
my hole at the back where my stuff came out of.  I used to like to keep it
clean because if I did not, it felt bad and became sore.  I thought it
would be easy to keep myself clean if I had this room to use.  He stepped
out and got a funny looking stick and it had little things that were on the
end of the stick.  He put something on the end of the stick that was thick
and he put it to my lips.  I opened my mouth and said that we must brush
our teeth several times a day whenever possible.  He said that my teeth had
been repaired and regenerated and I would never have any bad teeth nor
would I get cavities, but if I did not brush my teeth and mouth my mouth
would feel bad and my breath would smell bad.  He also said I might get
sick from it too.  He showed me how to brush and then he had this other
thing that I ran over my tongue and in my mouth that he said removed the
dead cells and bacteria from my mouth.  He then had me put a third device
in my mouth that put some fluid in it and made a noise.  He told me not to
swallow the liquid.  It would not hurt me, but I might choke on it if I am
not used to it.  It was best not to swallow any of it he said.  When we
were done, Mikal told me to spit it out.  He put up the small stick and
then turned the water rope on me.  He rinsed all of the soap off of my hair
and then my body.  We stepped out and he showed me how to enter an even
smaller chamber nest to the little bathing room in the bigger bathing room.
He told me not to be frightened and I entered it.  It could only hold one
person at a time.  He told me not to be frightened and when the door closed
a warm wind blew on me and dried me rather quickly.  I stepped out just a
little later when the wind stopped and I was dry and cleaner than I had
ever been in my life.  I felt wonderful.  I was getting a little stronger
now.  He helped me to my moving chair and then he stepped into the drying
room.  He brought me to the sleeping room and helped me into the bed.  He
pulled these soft and wonderful cloths over my body and told me it was time
for me to rest.  I had an even softer place to lay my head and I was
content.  He continued talking to me to keep me calm and told me I had had
a busy day.  He also said that I would sleep, but that if I had trouble
sleeping to call him.
     I lay there and after awhile I called for mikal.  "I know no one here.
I am lonely and scared.  You have shown me riches beyond my imagination and
I fear that I treated you poorly and did not thank you for your
hospitality.  This sleeping bed is big enough for me and all of my brothers
and sisters yet I am using it alone."  I looked at him and smiled at him.
"Could you...  I mean would you like to keep me company?"
     "I would like that, but only if it is what you want.  I know that I
upset you with what I said to you earlier.  I did not mean to cause you any
discomfort."
     "No.  I am fine.  I just was ashamed that someone knew my secret.  I
have not told anyone and I have never acted on my thoughts.  I was shocked
that you knew about my feelings and I felt that it was unfair of you to
tell me that you observed me without me knowing about it.  I was hurt that
you knew something that I tried to hide from everyone."
     "I never meant to hurt you.  I only wanted to let you know that I too
felt the way you do about other young men.  I wanted you to know that to
feel that way is perfectly normal for some people.  For you, it is normal.
For me it was decided that I should be your companion and it was necessary
for me to be what you like sexually."
     "You mean that you could be different."  I looked up to him.  "I
could, but you can not.  The forces that make you who you are decided that
long before you were born.  It is not within our power or yours to change
that part of you.  It is only that your people do not know that.  They
believe that men who want to be with other men are wizards or marked people
with special powers.  You have no powers that they do not have, but you do
see the world differently and so you seem to have special powers that they
do not have.  You merely see what they fail to see.  Just as a person who
can not see at all can not see what you can plainly see with your eyes that
is actually there for all to see if they can."
     "You are very smart and wise god.  You will make a good teacher for
me."  I was happy that Mikal would be teaching me.  He got into the bed and
he looked at me.  I reached out and held him.  He came to me in my arms and
I felt safe for the first time since I had woken up.  Within a few moments
I was asleep.  I had wanted to talk some more and possibly even explore
that part of him that I found so fascinating.  I do not remember much, but
I know that I had strange dreams.  I knew that I had gotten into the bed
without any clothes and so had Mikal.  I had not even given it a thought to
see if my body reacted to the nearness of his.  I wanted it to and to feel
his body as hard as mine.  I was asleep in his arms almost from the moment
we touched and he held me.  I remember some bits and pieces of my dreams.
It was as if Mikal was talking to me in my dreams and explaining things to
me.  He talked of wondrous things and how the things in the bathing room
worked.  Then he talked about the exercise room and how the temperature was
controlled in the water.  He explained how many of the magical gadgets
worked.  My dreams were busy and I only remember bits and pieces of them.
However, I knew that I was safe and with people who would care for me.

End of chapter ONE


     First, this is a story about young men.  I may contain graphic
descriptions of people, sexual acts and other things that some people may
find distasteful or unpleasant.  It is entirely a work of fiction coming
solely from my imagination.  It has no basis in reality nor does it reflect
any particular person or individual.  I may have overheard a line or a
single idea from someone or something, but the story line, the ideas and
everything are original to me.  I apologize if you think it came from you,
your life or any story you have written.  Certainly, we are all a product
of everything we had seen heard, read or experienced in our lifetimes.
While some of the characters in this story may appear to be under the age
of 18 years old, they are not and a complete reading of the story will
reveal that fact.  I do not approve of sex between children and adults and
I do not approve of minors having sex.  I did at that age, but I do not
think that we should encourage young children to experiment with sex.  They
can do that perfectly well without any help or encouragement from adults.
[That is a little tongue in cheek humor in case this seems too serious.]  I
am serious that minors are off limits, and I do not like to encourage
anyone to think otherwise.
     If you are under 18 years of age, then come back to this site when you
are of legal age to read and view this type of material.  This story
involves young men and men having sex with other young men and other men.
If this offends you, then do not read it and certainly be afraid that
someone else reading it places your life and marriage in jeopardy.
Jeopardy of being laughed at for being so foolish.  This story is
copyrighted and I will zealously pursue my copyright rights.  A warning, I
am an attorney at law and I will go after anyone who copies this story
without my express written permission.  You may not post it as your own
work or use it in any way.  However, you may have one copy for your story
archives on your computer if you keep the copyright notice on all pages and
keep my pen name on the story.
     I wrote this as repayment for all the wonderful stories I have read on
the Internet that other writers have shared with us, their loving caring
public.  This is only partial payment for the debt that I owe to the people
who have fought for same sex marriages, the civil rights of oppressed
minorities, and for the rights of gay and lesbians everywhere.  Actually,
anyone who has helped with the LGBT community fight for equality.  I want
you to enjoy the story and if you feel that you want to write to me, then
please do.  My E-mail address is ainsleystories@cox.net Please send
constructive criticism and any discussions you care to share with me.
Don't criticize my spelling or word use, but you can offer friendly
suggestions.  I know that my literary style is abrupt, curt and probably
poor.  However, it is my style and I think that what I have to say
hopefully rises above the short comings of my literary abilities.  After
all, my English skills were so poor in high school that one teacher once
jokingly asked if English was my native language.
     While I do not discuss the use of condoms in this or any of my
stories, I write science fiction and social diseases do not exist in my
stories.  However, they exist in real life and unprotected sex is a real
danger.  If we are old enough, we all know people who have it and I
unfortunately I know many people who have died from it.  Don't you be a
statistic and come down with a completely preventable disease.
     You now know all about me.  I have written other books that have been
published and are adult gay sex novels.  They are for sale on Amazon.com
under the pen name of Ainsley.  The title is the "Space Adventure of Alex."
It is a science fiction story that takes place 500 years in the future.  It
is filled with sex and love.  The most important of which is love.
However, like any good story, I like to get the characters, the setting and
other things out into the open before I ever get to the sex.  This first
chapter does not contain any sex in my opinion.  I was in a loving
relationship for many years before my partner's untimely death.  I love sex
and consider it a healthy hobby that I used to practice almost every day.
I found that I practiced expressions of love several times a day and found
they were as rewarding as the sex.  When my partner died, I found the sex
was rather boring without the love.  For those of you who only want to read
about the sex, then skip through the boring parts.  I am so sorry to waste
your time writing about them, but they are what make the story worth
reading about.  Anyone can write about sex and see it on the television and
in the movies every day.  However, sex that flows from love is a rare and
precious commodity to be highly prized.  If you are fortunate to find it
like I was, then cherish it and God willing, marry it in a state where it
is legal before they take that away from us.  Enjoy the story with all
these warnings.


DIARY STORY CHAPTER 1.doc
REV 1-24-2010
Copyright AINSLEY