Date: Sat, 11 Oct 2008 11:27:15 -0600
From: Kris Olsen <dragonwriter@comcast.net>
Subject: A Fairy Tale...Sorta ch 9

Chapter 9 - Snow, Fresh Food and Fire


	After breakfast, while everyone in the castle was at Mass, Tamas,
the boys and me, slipped out of the castle and down to the village. The
road was icy and very slippery, forcing us to walk slowly and carefully. I
preferred it to spring, however, when the road would be knee-deep in mud
and hidden potholes. The fields stretched out to either side of the road,
snuggly sleeping under heavy blankets of white. Kinna and Bitte raced up
and down the shoulders of the road, one on each side, throwing packed snow
at each other and shouting, their voices drifting off, like the puffs of
their breath, across the empty fields.

	Tamas kept one hand under my elbow to support me and as I walked, I
pulled my heavy fur lined cape tightly around me. My toes were cold even in
the double pair of woolen socks and my hands ached despite the strips of
woolen cloth wrapped around them.  All four of us were bundled in extra
layers of clothing, fur-lined cote-hardies over top of quilted
doublets. Kinna's cote-hardie had an attached hood of blue cloth. Bitte and
I wore chaperons; I also wore a scarf because the collar of my cape wasn't
very high as I rarely went outside in winter. Tamas' face peering out from
under his hood shone with pleasure and then concern when he turned his head
to check on me.

	Snow had fallen the night before covering the world in soft,
blinding glory. The battered city walls were pleasantly decorated in
wreaths of white, inside the snow hid the worn condition of the poorer
homes, making them look charming and welcoming with smoke rising from their
chimneys. By the time we arrived in town, Mass was over and people were
pouring out of the tiny church. Several of Tamas' neighbors caught sight of
him and quickly surrounded him, pelting him with questions; wondering why
he was home, how his journeymanship was going, and whether he'd be home
permanently by planting time. As I stood there, hopping from one
half-frozen foot to the other and vainly trying to warm my hands in my
armpits, I realized just how popular and well loved the red head was in
town.

	Finally, Tamas was able to pull himself away with many promises to
visit, especially to the old aunties and uncles who were feeling the winter
cold as bitterly as I was. As we neared the smithy, Tamas sent Kinna home
to his mother's cottage.

	"You can come back AFTER yeh greet yer Mum and let her cry o'er
yeh a bit," he said grinning at the small boy's pout. He tapped Kinna on
the nose, "You need to let your Mum know yeh're all ri', you know she's
been worrying."

	Kinna grinned and snickered at Tamas. He made a sketchy bow and
shot off across the cul-de-sac towards one of the small cottages on the far
side. Bitte sighed and I squeezed his shoulder, wishing I could arrange for
him to see his grandmother, but I was sure the Gypsies were far away to the
south, where it was a bit warmer. Tamas' hand slipped under my cape and
clutching my hand; he started across the square so abruptly I had to jump
forward to keep from falling. Suddenly, I felt quite guilty for my own
gloom the last couple of months; it was obvious that Tamas had missed home
as well.

	The smithy was empty, of course, and Tamas stopped for a moment
breathing in the sight and smell of it. He smiled softly perhaps recalling
memories of growing up there. Nothing looked changed to me, the hammers
lined up under the forge, the tongs and other tools hung neatly on the
wooden supports on either side of the anvil; the workbenches still
cluttered with small tools and pieces of metal. Tamas closed the door
behind him and crossed the smithy, without letting go of my hand, to the
door leading out into the courtyard. He opened the door and we stepped out
into the snow-covered courtyard. I sucked in my breath in pleasure. Beside
me, Bitte whispered a soft exclamation. Stretching out in front of us was a
shimmering blanket of diamonds, broken only by a neatly shoveled path
running from the smithy to the kitchen door. Tiny diamonds glittered on the
branches of the shade tree and around the top of the well. My usual spot
near the house was hidden under the snow, the rose bush leaning forward to
protect it. Despite the cold, I was enthralled by the scene.

	Nayne let out a scream of surprise and shock; nearly dropping the
pot of stew, she was carrying to the table when Tamas stepped through the
kitchen door. Fortunately, for all involved, Gisela caught the pot and
saved the dinner. Nayne's cry brought Noah and Teru from the other room,
expecting a Viking invasion or something of that nature. They both pounded
Tamas' back and shouted questions at him. Grandfather was a little slower
but no less pleased to see his grandson.

	"Tamas Kindersson, what are you doing here?" Nayne
demanded. Tamas hugged his mother around the shoulders and bent to kiss her
cheek.

	"Home for Christmas, Mum," he said. "Master Colin told me
to go; you know how seriously most Northerners take their family
obligations."

	"Tamas," Nayne said shaking her head. We both knew he was
referring to Kinder.

	Tamas just shrugged, his jaw thrust out stubbornly. Nayne sighed
and glanced at me over his shoulder. I shrugged as well; I had already
decided I would stay out, insofar as I was able, of the problem between
Tamas and his father. My gut told me that it was something they had to
resolve on their own.

	Nayne wasn't one to let anything sour her holidays or waste her
hard work and in a moment, she was shooing us to the table. Kinna burst in
through the door as Tamas was breaking the second loaf of bread. He
squirmed into his usual spot between Noah and Teru and waited for Nayne to
hand him a bowl of stew. Tamas eyed him with a raised eyebrow and he
grinned in return as he took the proffered piece of bread.

	It being the day before Christmas Eve, everyone was excited,
talking loudly and rapidly as if there was no more time to say
everything. Nayne had scrimped and saved to buy the goose waiting in the
pantry for Christmas and together with Gisela, she would spend the next day
baking bread, pastries and mince pies. I could hardly wait to smell them
much less to eat them!

	After dinner, Tamas decided it was the perfect time to go hunting a
Yule Log in the nearby forest. Teru and Noah enthusiastically offered to go
along, as did Kinna and Bitte. Grandfather just shook his head and murmured
something about hot-blooded youth. I groaned at the thought of being out in
the cold again, but I still wanted to go with them. I had never been
included in such activities and it felt good to be a part of the
group. Tamas sent Teru to Sayji's place to borrow his horse and his brother
Will`s sleigh, while he and Noah borrowed a double saw from the
woodcutter.

	Nayne also disappeared, returning several minutes later, her arms
laden with warm blankets including her down filled quilt. The quilt was
made of patches of colorful pieces of cloth, folded and sewn together in
the shapes of stars and half-moons, and exquisitely sewn with tiny, nearly
invisible stitches. When she handed it to me, I demurred about taking her
warm quilt and possibly getting it wet.

	"Nicco!" She said sharply, planting her hands on her
hips. Her eyes flashed in anger. "D'you think I'd let a wee lad like you
go out into the forest and freeze. You've no meat on your bones, unlike
that great hulking son of mine; you'll freeze while they're all wandering
about staring up at trees!"

	I grinned at her, knowing I was outflanked and took the
blankets. By this time, the others were back and their shouts echoed across
the courtyard, calling Bitte and me to join them. Bitte carried one blanket
and I took the others out to the sleigh. The sleigh was big enough for four
adults or six children with wide benches and high curving sides. Tamas and
Teru were lashing the long doubled handed saw to a frame attached to the
off side of the sleigh.

	Climbing into the sleigh, I wrapped the quilt around my shoulders
before sitting down. Bitte wrapped my legs snugly with one of the other
blankets, while I protested that I wasn`t an old man; the rest he wedged
between the side of the sleigh and my hip. I was certain they would be
needed before the day was over. He hopped up beside me and I dropped the
edge of the quilt over his shoulders. Kinna and Noah climbed up and sat on
the bench opposite, followed by a lean boy about Bitte's age. Blond curly
hair framed his face inside a red hood; Noah introduced him as Sayji's
oldest boy, Kit. He bowed quickly to me and plopped down between Kinna and
Noah. Tamas reached over and grabbed his hood giving it a tug. Kit clutched
at his hood and stuck his tongue out at Tamas, who laughed.

	For a moment, I felt irrationally jealous of so many people who had
shared Tamas' life for so many years. Squeezing my eyes shut, I pushed
those negative thoughts out of my head. My nursemaid used to tell me such
thoughts opened the soul to devils and while the rational part of my mind
professed not believe her, the part of me enthralled by dragons wasn't
quite so certain. When I opened my eyes, I saw Kinna and Kit head to head
whispering to one another. Noah studied them with the amusement of a boy
too old to be a child but not yet, a man and I recalled that he would be
sixteen shortly after Christmas.

	Beside me, Bitte leaned against my arm watching the other two boys
with longing, certainly being `the cursed child' had not given him a
life of companionship with his age mates. I hugged his shoulder
sympathetically; I knew everything there was to know about being left
out. He smiled up at me.

	"We ready?" Tamas asked. A chorus of `hais' answered him
and he grinned.

	However, before we could leave, Nayne burst out of the smithy,
carrying a pair of metal jugs. She handed them to Tamas and I smelled soup
and mulled wine; Gisela handed up a small wood box packed with mugs, which
Bitte took with a smile that brought a blush to her face. He stowed the box
and the jugs under the seat before crawling back under the quilt with me.

	Taking the horse by the reins, whom I remembered with a start, was
also named Molly, Tamas started forward up the Street of the Carpenters
towards the gate.  Molly shied and walked sideways in her harness and I
remembered Tamas telling me that horses didn't like the `dragon
stink'. Teru took a position on the other side of Molly's head, and caught
her bridle. He spoke soothingly to her. Tamas talked softly to her and she
settled down, perhaps she remembered his voice and knew this dragon
wouldn't eat her. Teru asked Tamas a question and their voices floating
backwards as Teru queried him about the last two months. I listened for a
bit but the discussion was far too esoteric for me to understand, so I
stared off into the snow, thinking about the next two weeks and how swiftly
they would pass.

	A peal of laughter brought my attention back to the sleigh; Kinna
and Kit were rocking on the bench. Kinna leaned forward, still laughing,
and grabbed Bitte's hand pulling him almost off the bench. Bitte scrambled
for his footing and fell into a heap between the other two boys. Noah let
out a grunt as he banged into the side of the sleigh. With a scowl, he rose
from the bench and moved over by me.

	"Hallo Noah," I said softly to the boy beside me, who moments
before had been staring at the broad back of his future Master.

	"Oh! Umm hallo Nicco," he said blushing. The blush was
totally charming under his green hood. I thought he looked even more elfin
than ever with the blush and hood bringing out his eyes so well.

	"He is captivating, isn't he?" I nodded towards Tamas' back.

	Noah blushed again and looked at his hands without a word. I worked
a woolen wrapped hand out of the quilt and tipped his chin up. Really, I
couldn't understand why the boy wasn't besieged with admirers, except that
I knew he was quite shy and tended to blend into the background wherever he
was. I, also, now knew for certain one more thing about him, something that
had teased at the back of my mind for a few months now.

	"You like him, don't you?" I asked letting go of his chin and
jerking my own towards the red headed smith. The boy, beside me, nodded
miserably and stared at his hands again.

	"I'm sorry, Nicco," he whispered miserably.

	"No," I said, "I should be apologizing to you for taking
him away."

	"No." Noah said shortly. He raised his head and looked me in
the eye. "`E was nivver mine, tha fire, it scaires me, it does. Ah
run in fear o' it, an' `e'd nivver love anyone what couldn't accept tha
fire."

	I nodded recognizing that Noah was quite perceptive about his
employer. Tamas would indeed never give his heart to someone afraid of his
flame. Why wasn't I afraid of it, I wondered, not quite sure of the answer
myself.

	"Teru, `e tole me `bout tha fire rite, that yeh were ready
to dive inta tha flame to catch `im." Noah's eyes were wide. "Ah
could nivvver do that, me feet would nivvver move, Ah`d be too
scaired."

	"Well," I said leaning over very close to the boy's
ear. "Between you and me, I was so scared I nearly pissed myself."

	The boy choked with laughter; Kinna looked up and demanded to know
what was so funny, but I just waved dismissingly at him. Bitte's black eyes
under his pale gray chaperon twinkled with amusement. I winked at him and
Kinna demanded again to know what was going on. Bitte reached over and
pulled the younger boy's hood over his eyes. Kinna howled in outrage as Kit
and Bitte roared in laughter.

	"Friends?" I asked Noah softly. He nodded.

	"Thank you, Nicco."

	"For what?" I asked genuinely puzzled.

	"Fer no bein' angry," he said breathlessly.

	"Nothing to be angry about," I mused. "You can't help what
your heart does." I winked at him. "Especially with something that
breathtaking under your nose all the time."

	I finished in a tone of awe, hearing myself repeat almost the same
words Kinder had used in describing his falling for Nayne. I puzzled once
again about why the red headed smith had chosen me of all people to fall in
love with. Me, the useless cripple, only good for running errands was what
I had thought of myself. However, since meeting Tamas, I'd come to realize
that I had more to me, I had become a man with obligations to people and
love to give.

	I was still contemplating everything I had learned that morning
when we reached the forest. Thick brush blocked our entry with the horse
and sleigh, so Tamas tied Molly's reins to a tree and the boys piled out of
the sleigh fanning out in all directions. I knew there were only four lads
but somehow they looked like twenty flitting through the trees; a flash of
red hood here, gray chaperon there, green hood over there and Kinna's blue
hood seemed to be everywhere simultaneously.

	Tamas offered me a steadying hand down out of the sleigh, which I
took with gratitude tinged with embarrassment as I debated about protesting
that I was not a girl. The snow crunched loudly under our feet echoing in
time with the noise of the boys. White puffs of breath preceded us into the
dark woods, where to my pleasure, the snow wasn't as deep and it was easier
to keep up the two smiths.

	It didn't take long for Tamas to find a recent windfall that would
make a perfect Yule Log. He and Teru, spelled by Noah, Kit and Bitte, cut
an arm's length section of it and carried it out of the woods, Tamas on one
end and Teru on the other. They loaded it on the sleigh with much
maneuvering and some truly creative swear words. Bitte retrieved the two
jugs and the box of mugs carrying them to a sheltered spot where Kit and
Kinna were piling up wood for a fire. Tamas eyed the pile speculatively and
then snapped his fingers. Flame roared up and the two boys tumbled
backwards into the snow. Bitte eased the metal jugs into the edges of the
fire before leaning forward to warm himself.

	Tamas carried the remaining piece of the windfall over and with a
flourish placed it near the fire for me to sit on. Kinna giggled and Kit
looked on with huge eyes as Tamas laid a blanket over the log and gestured
for me to sit down.

	"Tamas," I said trying hard not to laugh myself. "I'm not
a princess; I can sit on the ground like the rest of you."

	"Nah, nah," he said. "Yeh know if yeh sit in the snow,
yeh'll get all cold and sore. Yeh sit on the stump." He leaned close to
my ear, his eyes twinkling with mischief.

	"Or do yeh want to sit in my lap?"

	I sputtered and popped him on the arm. Wrapping my cloak around me,
I perched on the stump as regally as I could. Mother's lessons in
deportment weren't entirely in vain apparently. Kit looked at Kinna, who
grinned and then climbed into my lap. I hugged the small boy and wrapped a
corner of my cloak around him.

	"Thass my spot," Tamas said, his voice echoing the sibilance
of Kinder's accent.

	"He's freezing, Tamas," I said sharply. "Look, his boots
and breeches are soaked through!"

	"And you in my lap is too great a cross even for me to bear,"
I added with a laugh.

	Kinna stuck his tongue out at Tamas, who growled and made a playful
swipe for it, but his eyes were assessing the small boy's soaked clothes
and blue lips. Bitte brought us mugs of mulled wine heated in the fire. He
handed one to Kinna, who took it and promptly burned his tongue on the
contents. Bitte sighed exasperated; he'd just been on the brink of warning
the boy that the wine was hot. With another sigh, he scooped up some snow
to cool the child's tongue. He started to hand the second mug to Tamas, who
shook his head.

	"Tis my turn today, Bitte," he said squatting down in front
of me. Reaching out he took my free hand in his and plucked at the
wrappings.

	"You can't hold the mug with your hand all wrapped up, now can
you?" He asked softly.

	"No, I can't" I agreed. "Thank you Tamas."

	Tamas unwrapped down to the thin layer wrapped around my right hand
from the first finger knuckles down around my wrist. He gently stroked my
hand from wrist to fingertips, heat pouring out and warming my aching
joints. I gave a sigh of pleasure that turned into a gasp of surprise as he
tipped his head and lightly ran his tongue across my fingers. Straightening
up, he tucked the wrappings inside his many layers of clothing and took
Kinna from me. Holding the boy secure in his arms, Kinna's small arms
wrapped around his neck and legs around his waist, he started to
glow. Waves of heat, like the hottest summer day radiated off him, melting
the snow under his feet. Steam rose from Kinna's clothes and hair.

	"Careful," I said softly, taking the mulled wine from
Bitte. "Don't burn the boy."

	Tamas nodded and blew lightly across the small boy's ear. Kinna
shifted and leaned forward on his master's shoulder. I sipped my wine as I
watched the two, there was an intimacy there I was extremely jealous of
even though I knew it wasn't sexual. It wasn't that I wanted Tamas to hold
and warm me up because I knew I had only to ask for that, but rather an
ease with each other that I marveled at and wanted for myself.

	Bitte returned while I was still musing over my feelings and handed
me a mug of hot soup. He also gave one to Kinna, who was about
half-asleep. Over Bitte's shoulder, I nodded to Tamas and then to
Noah. Tamas tipped his head in acknowledgement. He carried Kinna to the
sleigh and wrapped him in a blanket.

	"Don' spill thah now," he said sternly to the small boy, who
stretched his eyes wide and sipped his soup in earnest.

	Tamas stepped back from the sleigh, he turned around with a grin
and a flourish as he whipped off his cape; dropping it onto the sleigh
bench. Freed from the hood, his braid tumbled over his shoulder swinging
back and forth.

	"Who's next?" He asked with a grin.

	He scooped Bitte up, who squealed out a protest but his resistance
was a token one at best. I could see his feet were wet and so were the
knees of his breeches; I was certain even his hose underneath were
wet. Tamas glowed and a sigh of pleasure escaped Bitte's lips as he went
limp in Tamas' arms, relaxing under the assault from the heat. Tamas
grinned and stroked the boy's head gently. He tipped his head forward and
murmured something softly in Bitte's ear. Bitte flushed in pleasure and
leaned back against Tamas' shoulder. Tamas set him down in the sleigh
beside Kinna and handed him a mug of soup that Teru held out to him.

	Kit was easy to catch, all but launching himself into the warming
grasp of the red head, but Noah had moved behind me. The apprentice's eyes
were wide, his fear the fear that shy people feel when someone approaches
too closely. Tamas reached over my shoulder and caught the blond boy by the
chin. Noah flinched but he stood his ground, looking his future Master in
the eye. Tamas swung his arm slowly sideways and Noah followed, pulled
along by the gentle fingers on his chin; Tamas bent his elbow and took a
half step forward. Tension radiated off Noah like heat off the sun, as
Tamas wrapped his arms around the boy's slender frame. He pulled Noah up
close enough to feel the heat but not quite close enough to touch beyond
arms and hands. He tipped his head and whispered to him as well. I couldn't
hear what he said but the boy turned bright red and sniffed back tears.

	Heat flowed off Tamas once again, engulfing the slender apprentice
and himself. Steam rose off Noah's clothing enshrouding both boys in a
light mist.  I felt anew that familiar stab of irrational jealousy; hastily
pushed away. Tamas let go of Noah and stepped back, his foot slipping a
little on a patch of rapidly freezing melted snow. Teru reached out and
caught his elbow steadying him. Tamas quirked an eyebrow at him.

	"I'm no holding yeh," Tamas said looking fiercely at Teru,
who backed up a couple paces, hands held out in front of him.

	Tamas put out a hand to me and I handed him my mug. He scowled at
me and took the mug handing it over to Teru, who stowed it in the box. He
reached into his cote-hardie and through his doublet to his shirt where
he'd earlier stowed the wrappings for my hand. He pulled the strip of wool
out and held out his hand again. I laid my hand in his.

	"Twill is extra warm now," he said softly. He wrapped my hand
in the hot wool quickly so as little heat would be lost as possible. He
tied it securely around my wrist, before leaning forward and kissing my
hand. I flushed feeling heat flooding my body from my wrist to my crotch to
my toes.

	"Yeh want us to wait fer ya, Tam?" Teru asked drolly.

	Tamas tilted his head and snarled out a spectacularly foul
curse. Teru laughed and lifted the box of mugs to his shoulder, carrying
them to the sleigh.

	"Tamas!" I said sharply. "There are children here!"

	"Heh, make no nivver mind aboot tha," Teru said, looking into
the sleigh. "Theh all asleep. Wored ri' out, theh is." He grinned and
stowed the box under the seat.

	Climbing into the sleigh, I found a pile of sleeping boys looking
rather like puppies, Kinna's head in Bitte's lap, Bitte laying on Kinna's
hip and Kit asleep against Bitte's shoulder. A dazed looking Noah was
wrapping them in Tamas' heavy travel cloak. I sat down and pulled up my
knees, resting my chin on them, replaying the feel of Tamas' hands on my
own.

	The ride back to the town was quiet and unbroken by the antics of
young boys. Noah seemed as lost in his own thoughts as I was in mine, so we
left each other to our respective thoughts. When we arrived at the town
gates, the boys roused from their sleep, Kinna rubbed his eyes and
yawned. Bitte slipped into the seat beside me with a whispered apology for
neglecting his duties. I ruffled his hair and waved away his concerns.

	Everyone spent the rest of the evening at the fire in the main room
of Tamas' house, eating hot food; drinking mulled wine and listening to
Tamas describe the town and smithy in Wallingford. Wrapped in a blanket and
Tamas' arm, Bitte's head on my leg, I felt the warmest and the happiest I'd
ever felt in my life. For the first time, I also felt that there was a
reason for my being born. I had Tamas and Bitte now, as well as the rest of
Tamas' household, people I cared very deeply for and wanted to keep close
to me forever.

	The next morning, I awoke to the sound of pounding feet on the
stairs. I sat up and stretched, the cold air making my breath visible in
white puffs that floated lazily away towards the door. I blew on my hands
and felt the warm air rebound across my lips and cheeks. Beside me, Tamas
slept, one arm stretched possessively across my hips. I brushed a stray
tendril of hair out of his face and awkwardly tucked it behind his ear. A
small bite mark glowed against the pale skin of his neck. I blushed in
embarrassment and touched it lightly. Tamas shifted in the bed, but didn't
wake up.

	I slid out of bed and dressed quickly in the cold air. It was
strangely odd to dress myself after having Bitte around for so long and I
fumbled awkwardly with my buttons. But nevertheless, by the time Tamas woke
up and stumbled half dressed down to the kitchen, I was perched on a stool
by the fire, drinking warm wine and telling everyone a story, about the
current king's great-great-grandfather, which I had read earlier in the
week. Tamas stopped in the doorway gripping the frame and leaning into the
room. He must have just thrown on his clothes as his shirt hung loose at
the waist and untied at the throat and his hose was plain. He also hadn't
stopped to grab his boots and I wondered briefly if he'd planned to run
through the snow in just hose.

	"Oh sweet heaven, I thought I'd been dreamin again," he said,
his knuckles white on the doorframe.

	Nayne smiled and handing the stirring spoon to Gisela, walked over
to her son. She stretched up and kissed his cheek. Perhaps only she and I
understood just how much Tamas had missed his home. She ruffled his hair
and shooed him back upstairs to finish dressing. He left with a sharp
glance at me over his shoulder; I felt my face heat up from the intensity
of his look.

	Tamas returned a short time later, properly dressed and clamoring
for food. He grabbed Teru and Noah and dragged them outside to fetch in the
table and benches, while the boys fetched tattered old blankets from the
pantry, to lie on the wet benches. After breakfast, Noah and Teru took off
to their own pursuits and Nayne sent Kinna home with a pot of lentil soup
and several loaves of fresh bread. Tamas watched him lug the feast across
the square.

	"She has many wee ones to feed," he said. "Two younger
than Kinna. Her man was kilt in a fall from a roof he was repairin, just
after the baby was born. Musta been about two year ago, I reckon."

	"Oh, the poor woman," I murmured.

	"Hai, but she's a good woman, that one. Keeps them fed and
warm. The oldest two are apprenticed to carpenters and Kinna to me. Keeps
`em busy and a few less mouths to feed." He grinned at me. "Lest
yeh start feelin overly sorry for her, she drives a hard bargain and is a
shrewd haggler."

	He chuckled and took my hand pulling me, as usual, across the
square towards High Street. We spent the rest of the morning ducking in and
out of the small shops looking for things Tamas needed and for gifts to
give at New Year`s. For lunch, we ate in the only pub in town, the food
was plain but there was plenty of it.

	We spent the rest of the day in Tamas' room, in varying states of
undress as we heated up and cooled down. Having Tamas around in the winter
was akin to having a small sun in your room and for the first time in my
life, I actually didn't mind getting undressed in the winter. Bitte brought
us dinner and I queried him on his day, worried that he'd felt neglected by
my preoccupation with Tamas. He cheerfully assured me that he'd been
helping Nayne clean and ready the small house for the Christmas celebration
on the morrow. His black eyes danced and his cheeks were flushed as he
talked; this was quite likely the first Christmas celebration of his life,
as I was certain the Gypsies didn't celebrate the holiday or at the least
not the way we did. I ruffled his hair and sent him back to Nayne bubbling
with enthusiasm and excitement for the morrow.

	Christmas morning dawned snowy and silent, even the church bells
ringing sounded muted and far away. I had to attend Christmas Mass with
Mother, but because of the holiday, half of the village would be crowded
into the castle church. Nayne and Gisela wearing their newest and finest
houppelandes crowded into Sayji's sleigh with his wife, mother and a couple
young girls. Kinna solemnly related this part to me much later, since I had
left the smithy at daybreak to attend to Mother before she became
suspicious of my absence.

	Mother was in a fine mood, feeling very gracious and companionable,
and rather distracted from me by the surprise arrival of my sister Sarrit
and her three children the day before, so consequently I could slip into
the crowd after Mass and visit with Master Madoc's family and with
Tamas'. Mother had been disappointed about my begging off on attending the
castle feast, especially in light of my sister and her family's presence in
the castle, but not unduly skeptical. In all honesty, she was far more
interested in Sarrit and her children to worry much about her unsociable,
crippled youngest son. Hence my lack of sociability the last three or so
years served well as a shield to shelter my activities from prying eyes and
it wasn't long after Mass ended that Bitte and I left for town.

	Tamas met us at the town gates, having left his mother and Gisela
commanding the other fellows in preparing for the feast. I sent Bitte ahead
to lend a hand while Tamas and I strolled leisurely towards the
smithy. Tamas threw the edge of his cape around my shoulders and looped his
arm around my waist tugging me close to his body. Heat poured out of him
warming me and making me feel just a little drowsy and just a wee shy from
the show of intimacy in public. The snow underfoot crunched loudly and
overhead, the morning snow let up and the sun played peek-a-boo through the
clouds. All around children were running, shouting, throwing snow at each
other, freed from their usual chores by the holiday. Most likely, Tamas
pointed out, shooed outdoors so there was room in the kitchen for visiting
adults to chat and prepare for dinner.

	The smithy was ominously dark in contrast with the brightness of
outside and I glanced around nervously until we exited into the courtyard
and crossed to the house. The kitchen was a flurry of activity, Nayne like
a general commanding her troops as Gisela, Bitte and Kinna flew hither and
yon fetching whatever she required. I could smell the pudding reheating and
the goose crackling on the spit. My stomach rumbled causing the two boys to
cover their mouths and giggle. I blushed and even Gisela snickered. Tamas
ducked through, snagging a piece of hot goose and getting smacked by the
spoon his mother was using to stir the soup. He and Teru returned a moment
later and went out to the stable to fetch the Yule Log. Inquiring about
what I could do to help, Nayne sent me upstairs to her room to fetch down
the holiday tablecloth.  I wasn't certain I felt right about going into her
bedroom but Nayne fixed me with a glare that said 'I'm too busy to argue
with you, now go!' and with a wave of her hand, I was on my way up the
stairs.

	Nayne's room was smaller than Tamas' and ran side to side over the
downstairs main room so it was only open to the front stairs unlike Tamas',
which ran front to back over the main room and the kitchen, so opened to
either stairway with a small walkway behind Nayne`s room leading to
Tamas' rear door. I passed through Tamas' room to the front entry at the
top of the stairs and then into Nayne's room. The room was clean and tidy
with a bed, against the far wall close to the chimney from the fireplaces
downstairs. A window, above a small table, looked out toward the smithy. A
hammered mirror in a silver frame sat on the table along with a brush and a
couple combs. The delicacy of the mirror's frame made me wonder if Kinder
had made it especially for her.

	A large trunk sat near the door; pushed up as far under the eaves
as possible and I had to pull it out to open it. Colored cloth,
meticulously folded, greeted my gaze. Carefully I lifted edges until I
found the one I wanted; awkwardly I tugged it out mussing up some of the
other cloths. I sighed in frustration, folding was nearly impossible for me
so there was no way to fix the mess. Closing the trunk, I pushed it back up
under the eaves and stood up. I'd just turned towards the door when I heard
a shout from outside. I scooped up the tablecloth and ran down the stairs,
leaping the bottom three and startling Grandfather out of his nap. Through
the door into the kitchen, I could hear shouts and hurried to see what was
happening outside.

	Dropping the tablecloth on a stool near the fireplace, I scurried
to the doorway. Outside in the courtyard, Kinder hung upside down, his arms
around Nayne's shoulders, kissing her for all he was worth. Tamas had
apparently dropped his end of the log when his father appeared, causing
Teru to lose his grip, consequently dropping the heavy piece of wood on his
foot, which explained the shout I'd heard earlier.

	Kinder's feet drifted leisurely toward the ground without letting
go of Nayne. He broke off the kiss and turned to his son, one arm still
around his wife. Teru was loudly insisting that he was all right but Tamas
wanted him to go put his foot up, to which Teru argued how would Tamas get
the log in the house without him. For a moment, I thought Kinder was going
to say something sarcastic but he didn't. Instead he gave Nayne a quick
squeeze and walked over to the two arguing men.  Kinder stood looking at
them for a moment before holding up his hands and shouting something in a
language I didn't understand. Bitte sidled up to me and stretched up on his
toes, I tipped my head down.

	"He just called them dunderheads and an embarrassment to their
mothers in Coptic," he whispered with a snicker.

	"Coptic?" I asked.

	"It's spoken in northern part of the Southern Continent, Kinder
gets around the Inland Sea." He grinned at me.

	I started to ask Bitte how he knew it, but never got the chance as
Kinder snapped his fingers at Tamas and pointed to the log. Squatting down,
he lifted Teru's end and then looked expectantly at his son, who scrambled
to lift his end. I sighed in relief and stepped out of the doorway, so they
could bring the log into the house. Behind me, Grandfather also sighed and
muttered something about troublesome children. I grinned at him.

	"The goose!" Nayne shrieked and gathered up her skirts to run
for the kitchen.

	Bitte fortunately was closer and swung the spit out of the fire
revealing only a small burnt spot on one wing. Nayne inspected the goose
then signaled to Gisela who came running with a platter. Bitte helped hold
the platter as Nayne and I worked the hot goose off the spit. Meanwhile
Tamas and Kinder, followed by a limping Teru, brought the log in and wedged
it into the fireplace. The log filled the fireplace so tightly that Teru
and Kinder could barely squeeze any kindling around it. When they were
finished, Tamas waved them back away from the hearth.

	Standing in front of the fireplace, he stretched his hands out,
palms facing it, fingers pointed to the floor. Fire flickered across his
shoulders and down his arms, coiling around his wrists and dripping off his
fingers. The fire spotted the floor like raindrops before running together
and snaking up his legs. Tamas threw his head back and let out a shout of
pure joy, flame roared up his body and down his arms before leaping into
the fireplace. The kindling caught with an audible pop and snap; fire
leaped up with a loud whooshing noise to wreath around the Yule Log. Kinna
hissed and backed off as fire licked around the edges of the firebox
stretching up toward the mantle and down across the hearth.

	"Whist laddy, ye naever do things by half, do ye?" Kinder
asked drolly.

	However, Tamas caught in the spell of the fire didn't respond. Fire
spiraled around his arms, moving upwards to coil around his
head. Frantically, I wondered how to keep the house from turning into an
inferno. Grandfather gestured to me and I stepped up to his side near
Tamas. He cleared his throat and spoke loudly.

	"Nicco, hand me that bucket o' water, now theh's a good lad."

	Tamas' head snapped around so sharply I thought it might pop off
his neck completely. The look of puzzled outrage on his face was a memory I
would treasure forever. However, Grandfather's words broke the spell and
the fire dampened down slowly receding until it burned cheerfully at the
kindling under the log. Cautiously I reached out and stroked Tamas'
braid. Tendrils of heat caressed my hand in return and he murmured softly
in pleasure and leaned back onto my shoulder. My arms slid around his
shoulders. Around us, I heard noise and movement but all of my attention
was focused on Tamas.

	"Och, I'm thinkin' that bucket o' water for the both o'
them," Kinder said from the doorway. Tamas straightened up and glared at
his father, while I blushed behind my hands.

	"Tamas, Nicco, I've been calling you, dinner's ready and we're
all hungry," Nayne said, her voice colored with exasperation.

	I dropped my hands and opened my mouth to apologize but Tamas
caught and squeezed my hand distracting me. He shrugged at his mother and
flashed a grin before sauntering to the kitchen dragging me along
behind. The feast took up the whole of the table; we filled our plates and
returned to the main room to eat. With the roaring fire and a woolen
tapestry hanging over the stair well to block drafts, the room was warmer
and quite cozy with the sleeping mats and pillows spread around to sit
on. Tamas and I curled up near the fire where we could enjoy the company
and I could stay warm with fire on both sides.

	Noah had shown up with a village boy, whom he introduced to me as
Kord, who was apparently the closest of Noah's friends. The two boys spent
most of the evening head to head in quiet conversation. Teru apparently had
no steady girl at the moment so he and Kinna sprawled in the middle of the
room and played a game wherein one tried to capture his opponent's stones
on a board of alternating black and natural colored squares. They appeared
fairly evenly matched with first Teru winning and then Kinna. Bitte ran
back and forth from the kitchen making sure we had enough to eat and
drink. Finally, I grabbed his wrist and made him sit down and eat. He
flushed and dropped down beside me, a moment later Gisela sat down with a
shy smile. Tamas nodded to her and pushed the plate of goose towards
her. She whispered a shy thank you and took a piece of meat.

	Sometime later as it was starting to get dark, we heard carolers
outside. Nayne and Gisela wrapped up several packets of leftovers and
carried them out to the singers. I followed curious, I saw a few faces I
knew, but the small children wrapped in rags made my heart wring in
pain. Their faces, red from the cold, glowed with happiness even though
their thin cheeks betrayed their empty stomachs. Nayne carefully
distributed the packets to the little ones, earning her several thank yous,
bows and curtseys and not a few hugs. I found a handful of farthings in my
pouch and distributed them to older children.

	Nayne sent Gisela back to the house for more food as one group of
carolers moved off and another group appeared. I stayed out, listened to
several groups, and gave out all of my farthings, but after awhile I
started to feel the cold in my joints and my feet and returned to the
house, feeling oddly at peace and happy. I knew the remains of the castle
feast would be taken to the almshouse in the morning, but I couldn't help
but feel more satisfied in seeing the faces of the children receiving
packets of food from Nayne.

	The kitchen fire had burned down and the room was only slightly
warmer than outside. Calling to Bitte, I told him to add some wood to the
fire before it burned out completely. Tamas sauntered in from the main room
and leaned on the doorframe; his doublet unbuttoned; mug in hand and
smirked at me amused.

	"I can start that fire anytime," he said.

	I flushed embarrassed that I had forgotten. He crossed the four
feet between the door and me in two strides and wrapped his arms around my
waist. My arms draped around his neck without having to be told to and I
leaned against him soaking up the heat. Tamas tipped my head up and kissed
me. Heat flooded down my chest, warming me to the core. I clung to Tamas'
doublet basking in the heat of his body and the heat of his kiss. He broke
the kiss off as his mother and Gisela returned. Out of the corner of my
eye, I saw Gisela flinch at the sight of me wrapped in Tamas' arms. She
didn't run away, but neither would she meet either of our eyes for the rest
of the evening.

	The rest of the evening was spent cleaning up and storing the
leftovers in the pantry. Nayne declared that dishes could wait until
morning and I heard Kinder mutter something about getting an early
start. Kinna fell asleep early, completely worn out from the excitement of
the day; Tamas carried him to a sleeping mat near the fire and wrapped him
in blankets. Teru disappeared shortly after dinner to go find his fellows,
but Noah and Kord curled up on two mats pushed together and burrowed under
the blankets to talk or so I assumed because although I knew Noah walked
the same path as Tamas and I, I didn't know about Kord.

	On my last trip to the kitchen, I found Kinder and Tamas heads
together in conversation. I started to back out but Kinder gestured to me
to come in. I carried the plates to the counter and paused not quite
certain what I should do. Tamas reached out and took my hand, pulling me to
his side.

	"Ye need to conquer that enthrall ye have wi' the fire before ye
can start to change," Kinder was saying. "As long as the magic
controls ye, ye can't control it."

	Tamas nodded, his hand tightening on my wrist. Kinder's bright eyes
flicked down to our hands and up to my eyes. I read amusement and approval
in them. He looked up at his son, studying his face a moment before
continuing to speak.

	"I can help ye wi' learnin to change, tis tricky until ye get
the hang o' it. Soon as ye master the fire, call me."

	"Call you?" Tamas asked puzzled.

	"Aye, wi' yer heart call to me, I'll hear ye and come." He
held up his hand warding off his son's rant on his long absence.

	"Ye doon know yer mum as well as ye think, as lonely as she ever
gets, she naever calls me. Her definition of loving me means naever putting
bonds on me." He paused and stared off beyond his son's
shoulder. "Sometimes tis a terrible burden to bear, now and then a man
wants to be needed."

	With nothing else to say, Kinder went off to find Nayne and perhaps
tempt her to go upstairs and leave the rest for the morrow. Tamas and I
went upstairs to his room and talked for a long time. His world was rather
shaken by the knowledge that his father wasn't nearly as irresponsible as
he'd assumed not to mention that his mother was a good deal more stubborn
than he'd realized. For myself, I was surprised to hear Kinder say that he
wished Nayne would call him. My view of married couples had not involved
such desires based on my parents and brother.

	The rest of the next two weeks passed much too quickly as these
sort of things usually do. The day after Christmas, we walked up to the
castle and visited the garrison smithy. Tamas cooed and tickled little Elly
and I discovered a new ache in my heart: that I could never give him a
small red headed child of his own. Elly, for her own part, was as enchanted
by the giant bright haired man as her older sister, Sarah, and in all
honesty, every other female that crossed Tamas' path. She grasped the end
of his braid and it took Molly and Mistress Jane to make her let go. Tamas
promised her a lock of his hair when she was old enough to swoon for it.

	New Year's Day arrived entirely too soon and I woke up with tears
on my face; Tamas would be leaving in seven days. Quickly drying them, I
leaned over Tamas for my shirt. Bitte, I noted, was already up and most
likely fetching hot water for our morning washing up. Tamas' arm hooked
around me and pulled me back under the covers, causing me to lose grip on
my shirt, and for a while, we were too busy to talk or worry about our
clothing.

	After washing up and eating breakfast, I had to attend to Mother
and visit with Sarrit. Tamas decided to wait for me down at the garrison
smithy, after stopping in the kitchen to sweet talk Cook out of a jug of
ale. I hadn't expected Sarrit or her children when I did my gift shopping,
so I had hurriedly scoured the shops and peddlers in town, hoping to find
something. I'd finally settled on some fine cotton cloth dyed a light blue
for Sarrit and some carved horses for her two boys. For the two girls, I
bought ribbons and fancy hair ornaments, which the peddler swore were all
the rage in the southern part of the continent. Sarrit seemed pleased as,
did the children and I breathed a little bit easier. Mother had gifts of
clothing for her servants and to my surprise, for Bitte as well. He looked
startled, but recovered quickly and made a deep, sweeping bow that charmed
Mother. She smiled and complimented me on his fine manners. Mother, perhaps
with Melly's help, had located, for me, a fine set of writing nibs and some
fancy quills. Surprised I could only stammer out thanks.

	Lehi and Meg also arrived with their children, though Lehi didn't
stay long. I wondered darkly if he'd visited his mistress recently or if he
was too busy. I pushed the thought away determined not to let anything
upset my day. I hadn't met his mistress but I suspected she was poor and
his assistance was critical to her survival, I just wished it didn't feel
so wrong to me.

	Mother's mood was one of elation and satisfaction, and I sorrowed
for Sarrit's leaving, as I was certain she'd be cross and out of sorts
then. However, for now I put forth my best effort to be a good and
attentive son, trying not to embarrass her or Sarrit. I must have succeeded
because as I was leaving Sarrit gave me a hug and told me how good it was
to see me again. I patted her back and made a murmured agreement. Sarrit
being a year younger than Lehi meant I'd had little to do with her when we
were children. She was married and moved out practically before I left my
nursemaid's care and now as an adult I wasn't quite certain how to relate
to her.

	A new layer of snow had fallen and our footsteps squeaked and
crunched as we walked to the garrison. I wasn't looking forward to the walk
to town on the slippery, cold road. Much to my pleasure Tamas had the same
thought and wrapping his arms around Bitte and me, took off on a run at
dragon speed. Surprised I clung to his shoulder with eyes closed, praying
we wouldn't stumble.

	We reached the village without incident fortunately and were soon
in the warmth of Nayne's kitchen sipping hot wine and exchanging small
gifts: wine or ale for the men, spices for Nayne and sweets for the
children. There were gifts of clothing for Bitte, Gisela, Noah and Teru as
rewards for their hard work in the prior year. Privately, in the half-light
of Tamas' room, Tamas presented me a new belt buckle in the shape of a
dragon, made of fine silver and polished to a shine. I had thought hard
about what to give him and finally decided on a doublet lined with fox fur
and trimmed in miniver.

	Tamas enthusiastically showed his pleasure over the new doublet
until I thought my body would explode from pleasure. I decided against
telling him that the outer cloth and the miniver were the only new
components, the inner lining and fur were taken from an old cloak of
Mother's that she'd discarded for the almshouse. Instead, Melly had brought
it to me with the doublet idea. I made a mental note, before orgasm wiped
all thoughts out of my head, to thank Melly again for her hard work making
the pattern from an old doublet Nayne had given me and sewing the finished
product.

	Epiphany came all too soon and the feast, while not as lavish as
Christmas, had a tinge of sorrow to it. I, for one, found it hard to eat
truly enjoy myself knowing that Tamas would be leaving on the
morrow. Nayne, as well, seemed rather affected by her son's departure and
to even Kinder couldn't completely distract her. Unable to cope with a
second departure, I left the house shortly before dark to return to the
castle. Tamas had not been pleased with my leaving and we quarreled briefly
in the square outside the smithy, the result of which was that I stormed
off, Bitte at my heels, leaving him standing there.

	My heart ached so bad I could barely breathe and my sobs choked me,
but I stubbornly refused to return to the smithy. Finally, I stopped and
leaned forward hands on my knees to catch my breath and try to control my
shakes. Straightening up I found myself eye to eye with a horse, Molly
whickered and butted my shoulder with her nose. Tamas leaned forward over
her neck.

	"Can yeh talk to me now?" he asked softly. "I don' know
what yeh're so angry `bout, but tell me and I'll listen."

	"Tamas," I whispered.

	He held out his hand and I took it allowing him to pull me up into
the saddle. He settled me in front of him and then pulled Bitte up to ride
pillion behind. His arms and cloak wrapped around me as I leaned back
against his warm chest. The ride to the castle ended far too soon, I would
have been glad to stay on that horse with Tamas forever. Tamas left her at
the smithy with a somewhat fresh bale of hay to munch and followed me to my
room.

	Without a word, Bitte hung his cloak on the hook and took off out
the door towards the back stairs to the kitchen. Tamas looked after him
with a small smile, before wrapping his arm around me and pulling me
towards the bed. He sat on the edge and I perched nervously beside him. He
studied me a moment before tipping my chin up and I found myself drowning
in those impossibly blue eyes.

	"Talk to me Nicco, what's wrong? I know yeh're upset about my
leaving but I don' understand yer yellin."

	"I'm sorry, Tamas," I said softly. "I'm already feeling
lonesome. I want to go with you so badly, but I can't. It wouldn't be
right..." My voice trailed off.

	"I want," I started again before he could respond, "I want
to beg you to stay, I want to cry and throw myself at your feet, but I
can't. That's not fair to you; you've worked so hard and are almost a
Master. I've been holding back so long, I guess it just exploded
tonight. I'm sorry."

	Tamas pulled my head to his shoulder, cradling it in his big
hand. I could hear his heartbeat like thunder inside his doublet. My right
hand scrabbled awkwardly trying to grasp his sleeve. Tamas' fingers stroked
my head.

	"Oh my poor Nicco, my precious mate, how I have made you
suffer," Tamas said softly. "I thought there was more in yer heart
than yeh were writin down. I want nothin more'n ta stay here tomorrow, but
at tha same time I'm so close ta being Master, I can taste it like a mug
o'ale." His fingers caressed my cheek. "I've worked and ached in
every muscle and worked some more to reach this place and however much I
love yeh, I can't throw it away."

	"Tamas!" I said sitting up abruptly, pulling out of his
grasp. "I'd never ask you to do that! I couldn't, I just..."

	I stared off into space for a moment, something teasing at the back
of my mind. Abruptly I stood up and walked over to the window, opening it a
crack. Far off I saw what looked like fires but I couldn't be certain. I
leaned out and breathed in the cold air clearing my head. Turning around, I
leaned back against the window and closed my eyes.

	"The second day I came to your house, your mother and I talked
about your father."

	"Da?" Tamas said confused.

	I nodded, "Yes, your mother told me she was the one who told
your father to leave. She said, let me see," I paused to arrange the
words in my mind. "She said `I told him to go, He was so
miserable. Not my beautiful mercurial lover any more, just a frustrated,
miserable man. I couldn't let him continue to live that way.'" I took a
deep breath.

	"At that time, I didn't understand what she meant, maybe that
first explosion of passion was stopping up my wits or something, but now I
understand. You have something you need to do, something far greater than
staying at my side. If I make you stay here you'll only be miserable, maybe
even start to hate me. I can't be like the village girls who only wanted
you to make their lives better; I can make my life better. So when you come
home, I'll be ready to be your mate and stand by you as you turn the Smith
Guild upside down."

	Tears were running down my face like rivers and I heard my voice
break but I held my head up, I was no village girl to cry and wail and
plead. Tamas cried out my name and leaped towards at me wrapping me in his
arms. I clung to him and he clung to me, two tired, scared, lonely boys
finding comfort in each other.

	Bitte knocked softly and came in when I answered. Smart lad, he had
a jug of ale, a pair of mugs and a small loaf of bread, which he put on the
table and left with a bow. Tamas and I drank and talked and made love and
then drank some more. I heard the church bell strike nine as he pulled on
his cloak. He sat on the edge of the bed and kissed me.

	"Be strong, Nicco, the time will pass quick enough and I'll be
home. I have to create a master piece o' work to prove that I understand
all the principles I've been taught, then I'll be back to warm yeh up."
His leer was so comic I couldn't help but laugh.

	He kissed me again and then was gone. I burrowed back into my
covers. I was sad indeed, but strangely enough, I wasn't as miserable as I
had been when he'd left in October. It was as if I'd come to some
conclusion in myself and now I was ready to move forward in my life instead
of being content to be swept along like leaves in a creek. It was still
going to be hard and I was sure I'd have many sad days ahead but it was all
moving toward that time when Tamas and I could be together.