Date: Tue, 28 Sep 2004 19:46:34 -0700 (PDT)
From: martin boyar <martin_boyar@yahoo.com>
Subject: Hoompa, by Josh Dugan

I don't know why I could never do the stuff my older brother Sean and his
friends could do. I mean, they were always nice to me and let me hang
around with them and all, but it was so frustrating that I couldn't be
one of them.

I wasn't that good at baseball, but they let me play with them. They were
all bigger and better-looking than I was, and I could tell they enjoyed
looking at each other and stuff, but then they were nice to me, too. I
just could never feel like I really belonged. It drove me crazy.

We were all in the little steam room by the pool that evening, after our
baseball game. I was on sitting with my towel wrapped around me on the
wooden bench that ran around the wall of the steam room. Sean and his
friends were all sitting cross-legged on top of their towels on the
wooden bench, sweating and shiny, laughing and talking. Sean's friend
Mace goes, 'Hey Sean, I'm taller. Hoompa hoompa hoompa." And as he said
'hoompa hoompa hoompa,' he kind of bounced himself on his crossed legs
like he was jacking up a car, adding more crossed legs under him each
time he said hoompa. So he was sitting there looking down at Sean because
he was taller, sitting on three pairs of crossed legs.

So Sean says, "Nuh-uh, I'm taller. Hoompa hoompa hoompa hoompa. So
there." Now Sean taller because he was sitting on four pairs of crossed
legs, one pair of legs taller than Mace. So Mace goes hoompa hoompa, and
Sean goes hoompa hoompa, and they both get all these hardons, and then
they sort of fell into each other and started wrestling and making out. A
couple of the other guys sweating in the sauna had also been saying
hoompa hoompa hoompa, trying to be like Sean and Mace. So pretty soon all
the guys are jacking themselves up taller and taller, laughing and
getting turned on, and everyone's got three or four pairs of crossed
legs, except for Sean and Mace, who had even more, and were helping each
other get their big stiffies into each other's holes, since they had so
many of them now.

Sean's friend Randy smiled at me, feeling sorry for me not being able to
hoompa extra legs. "Here," he said, "I've hoompa'd too many legs; you sit
on the extras." He kind of twitched his back and snapped off his bottom
three pairs of crossed legs and slid off of them, and helped me climb on
top of them. I still kept my towel wrapped around me, but I thought it
was nice of him to try to make me feel at home. I did feel taller sitting
on his three pairs of crossed legs; they were bigger than mine and really
nice looking, and I was just as tall as he was because he was sitting on
three pairs of his own. He smiled at me and offered a high-five with both
his hands, so I high-fived his hands. He had another pair of hands
waiting to high five as well, so I high fived them, too.

I noticed a lot of the other guys were adding arms to confuse each other
while they played that game where your friend places his hands on your
upturned hands and you try to flip your hands really fast and slap the
tops of your friend's hands before he takes them away. It was harder to
do when both guys had four hands, but some of them were really good at
not getting their hands slapped. But the slaps were louder when they did
occur, probably because it was so hot and moist in the steam room. The
guys that were really good at it were doing it with six hands, now. That
was a lot of hands, and they looked so good that the other guys who were
just watching had to stroke off.

But the steam room was getting too crowded, because Sean and Mace had
gone all legs as they mated with each other, squeezing each other with
their legs as they pumped each other, just legs and penises, lots of
their legs and penises, their feet holding on to each others' legs, kind
of pulling them together to help keep the penises in their buns. You
could tell which legs were Sean's and which were Mace's because Sean's
were a little longer and Mace's were a little darker and more muscular,
but they looked really relaxed and comfortable as they pulsed, first this
pair, then that pair, then these pairs, then those pairs, and since they
kept sprouting more of them, soon we were all sitting there getting their
legs in our laps as they filled the room.

"Let's get'em into the pool," Gary said, which was fine because everyone
had so many hands they could help move Sean's and Mace's truckload of
legs gently out of the sauna. It sounded cool, the continuous splash
sound it made when all the legs tumbled into the water. I didn't have to
help because Randy let me ride his six extra legs that I had been sitting
on. He showed me I could steer them by pointing the big penis in front.
When they all decided to have centaur races later on, running multilegged
across the acres of lawn, I was almost able to keep up riding Randy's six
legs, but I fell off, tumbling and tumbling on the cool green grass.

Randy saw me from a distance and came running my way, beautiful on six
legs. He paused to collect the extra six legs of his that I'd been
riding, leading them by the penis as they ran alongside him. "You're
probably pretty tired," he said. I realized I was, so he let me ride his
extra legs back to Sean's and my room, and he ran off on his six legs and
rejoined the herd. "Hey, let's fuck Randy," one of the guys said, but
they were already mating all over the place.

I awoke in the middle of the night as Sean came stumbling in, smelling
good, like lawn and that nice male tang of sweat. He'd changed back from
all legs, but he still had a lot of them, which looked awesome, even in
the dark. "Whose legs are those?" he asked, indicating the three pairs of
Randy's legs I had wrapped around me.

"Randy's," I said. "He said it was okay."

"That's fine," Sean said, as he got ready to climb into his bed. I could
tell he also felt sorry I couldn't do the stuff he and his friends could.
"I was going to give you some of my legs, too. Here." He gave one of his
asses a snap, and the last four pairs of his legs, their hardons still
aroused from the mating, climbed into bed with me, comfortably wrapping
around me and Randy's legs. They felt wonderful as I hugged them to me,
feeling them all around me. "That was nice of him," I thought as I
drifted off to sleep among them.