Date: Fri, 25 Jun 2004 03:00:21 EDT
From: Xadith@aol.com
Subject: Hot Date Part Three

Author: Xadith
Feedback: Sure but be mature Xadith@aol.com
*NOTE*: You can now find this story as well as other of my work at the
yahoo groups http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Xadith/ Please make sure you
read the notice before joining.
Subject Gay Male Science Fiction
Summary: Logan and Lucian have found themselves in the darkest woods, but
a light, and a bright one at that, is finally shinned upon the world
Logan once knew.
Rating: NC-17 Adult content, Sexual situations involving like genders,
language, Light D/s and BDSM, rape.
Chapter: 3 of 4 (There will be another chapter or chapters after this
one)
These characters are mine and copyrighted. Any reference to real life
people is unintentional.


The sun had long since fallen below the horizon by the time Lucian's eyes
fluttered open.  He was still breathing and it hurt like all the pains of
hell.  His body was one massive pulse of pain and throbbing hurt.  His back
felt like it had shattered, his arms and legs were almost numb but he
realized it was just the pain so intensely thick that his mind was
desperate to make him black out again.  He forced himself to stay awake.
Though the deepest gut wrenching stab of it all, he had to stay awake, he
had to make sure Logan was all right.

It was then he realized that his head was resting on something soft.  He
was face down across the ground but under his cheek there was something
soft but firm holding him up.  He blinked a few times and tried to roll
over, get a view of what was going on around him but the slightest movement
made him scream out in pain.

"Easy, easy, I got you Lucian hold still."  Logan's voice came as a welcome
calm to the demon's alarm.  If Logan was talking it couldn't be that bad.
He wanted to roll over, he wanted to see Logan's face for himself.  He
tried to lift up, put his arms under him and rise but his arms refused to
move and even the attempt made him groan in pain.

"I said hold still you idiot!"  Lucian nodded slightly, the sudden smell of
earth, blood and Logan filled his senses and the hell spawn realized at
last where he was.  Under his cheek, Logan's thick thigh was acting as a
pillow.  He was stretched out over the other's lap and the sting on his
back came anew as Logan finished wrapping up the tattered remains of
Lucian's wings.

It all came flooding back to him; the cat, the horse, the fall and the
landing that tore him into pieces.  He moaned but this time in the sheer
disgust at his predicament.  His arms went slack, his body relaxed against
Logan's hands and lap and he just laid there, trying hard not to let the
pain drug him into unconsciousness again.  Above him, Logan was slowly and
carefully washing away blood and bits of leaves from the last of Lucian's
wounds.  He was carefully cleaning out the open gashes and watching as the
once crimson now black, demon flesh seemed to gasp and breath on its own.

"You really messed yourself up Lucian, are you going to be okay?  I can't
do much for you other then try and clean these wounds and keep you
comfortable until the rangers find us."  Lucian tried to talk but he
couldn't get words past his lips.  His dry mouth open and closed again
before he finally gave in to the dizzy sickness that was clawing at him.
His eyes closed once more and his went slack against Logan's lap.  He just
needed the night, the evening air would help, he tried to tell Logan, tried
to offer some relief for the fear he felt in the other man.  He just didn't
have the strength.


I didn't know what to do, what could I do really?  Lucian was a demon, not
a human and I had no idea what I could do to heal a demon, if anything at
all.  Lucian woke up and I let go a breath of relief.  I could feel him
breathing, heard him moan and cry out in his sleep as I cleaned up his
wounds with water from the near by stream.  He was in so much pain and I
flinched when I heard him scream of flinch.  Why had he done that?  Why had
he thrown himself over a fucking cliff to save something like me?  I was
just a toy to him, something to amuse him until he found something else.
It didn't make sense.  I told myself I was going to save him if only to be
able to ask him; to understand why on earth he would do that.

He was falling back asleep again, I felt his body go slack and I drew in a
deep breath.  There was nothing for me to do now but wait.  I wanted the
rangers to find us but how was I going to explain a six foot red man with
tattered wings laying in my lap.  My arm was sore, it didn't hurt as much
as it had before and my ankle was feeling better too.  Something wasn't
right.  I shouldn't be feeling better this fast.  Even the cut on my
forehead had stopped bleeding and I could feel it slowly repairing itself.
This was too fast, I was healing way too fast.  I hope, that if it had
something to do with me former Angelic status, that Lucian had a few of the
perks as well.  Even as a demon he ad to have some benefits over human's
right?  I was so tired.  My body was using up too much energy, I could feel
it spreading out over the ground like the blood Lucian had lost.

I needed rest and so did he.  For whatever reason, I pulled Lucian up in my
arms, close to me before I laid back on the rocks beside the stream.  Just
a few hours, I had to close my eyes before I passed out.  Just a few hours.


I don't know how it happened, didn't feel the pain or the blood, just the
warmth of them when I opened my eyes.  It was early morning, or late
evening depending on your view point.  It couldn't be more then one, two am
at the most.  I'm not sure how I knew that but it was just fact.  My wings
had sprung from my back sometime during the coldest part of the night.  It
had been below freezing and I think my body must have wanted to protect
itself because Lucian and I were wrapped up tight in the embrace of black
feathers.  I stretched slowly, working out a few sore muscles and braced
for the sharp pain that would come with moving broken bones.  When it never
hit, I blinked.

Looking over my body, my mouth fell open.  I felt fine.  I wasn't sick,
hurt, bleeding, my wounds had closed and my arm felt as good as new, even
better.  This couldn't be real.  I couldn't be without a scratch on me.
However looking over my limbs and torso I found only a few small bruises
left of what was the fucked up mess my body had been in.  Lucian.

I looked down into my lap where the barely breathing lump was still out
cold.  He still looked like hell.  His arms and legs were holding a better
color, his lips didn't look so pale and the gashes over his back were
almost gone.  He wasn't healing as well or as fast as I had, but he was
healing.  I had no idea why I had healed faster, but my guess was it had
something to do with my wings.  Lucian's wings were still in really bad
shape.  The bones had set themselves but the gashes and tears were still
wide and deep.  I cringed.  He looked to be in so much pain.

I was careful as I lifted one tattered wing.  He moaned softly and I felt
his breathing change.  His face hadn't taken too hard a hit as it had been
cradling mine under his chin.  I remember the look on his face when he
jumped over that cliff.  He wasn't angry, he wasn't even annoyed looking,
the only thing I could read in his face was fear.  And somehow I knew, just
knew it hadn't been fear of the fall.  He was afraid of loosing me.  I felt
it in the way he clung to me, sensed it in the way he rolled to take the
full force of the fall and I could damn near taste it in how he tried to
struggle to his feet to make sure I was okay after we had hit the bottom.
Lucian had wanted to protect me, and he had been scared that something was
going to happen to me.

I looked down on the man in my lap and tried hard not to notice the way his
face looked in the moon light.  His lips were soft and warm, holding more
color by the minuet.  His cheeks were sculpted and his thick black lashes
covered those hauntingly blue eyes in large half crescents.  His black hair
was swept back from his face, his red skin made his entire body only look
more defined, more cut and worked into perfection.  I couldn't see his tail
but I imagined it was resting under his torn up blue jeans.  His shirt had
been ripped apart in the fall and I had removed what was left of it to
clean out his wounds.  Now his detailed back and shoulders were laid out
before me and I gently ran my hand over the lines of the muscle.

I couldn't help it.  He looked peaceful and quite, so handsome even with
his wounds and scars.  His tattered wings made him look rugged and tired,
but he still seethed with strength.  Just a bit taller then men, just a bit
more defined, just a bit larger, and yet at this moment he was so
vulnerable to everything around him.  The big powerful demon, with the shit
beat out of him by a bunch of trees and rocks.  The same demon that had
raped me and made me want so scream with desire and hatred for him all at
the same time.  He needed me.  He had saved my life and now he needed me to
save his.  Could he even die?  Did Demons die and go to hell all over
again?

I shook my head out of the thought.  I wasn't going to find out.  I still
had so many questions I wanted to ask Lucian, regardless of the fact he had
saved my life, I needed to talk to him.  Really talk to him, to find out
anything about who and what I was, what we were.  I don't know why he was
so familiar to me.  I still had no clue as to why his mouth felt right, his
arms were welcomed by my body and even his arrogant smile made my stomach
knot up.  I had to find out though.

Lucian's sudden movement jarred me out of my thoughts.  His back rose fast
with a sharp intake of air and he screamed in pain.  I jolted, looking down
on him with new eyes, worried eyes.  "Lucian?"  He groaned in response, his
hands curling up into fists and then relaxing again.  "Holy hell...."  I
laughed.  Not because he was in pain just the words, the irony of them.
"Sorry, no such luck."  I could feel Lucian smile against my thigh.  He
groaned again and tried to move over onto his back but fell forward again,
his face buried into my leg once more and he closed his eyes.  "I'm in a
lot of pain Logan."  "I know."  "I need your help to push my wings back
into my body.  If I can't get them back in, I'm going to bleed to death."
I nodded slightly, then realized he couldn't see me so responded with a
soft "all right."  "What do you need me to do Lucian?"  The demon in my
arms was silent for a long moment, as if he was gathering all his strength
into himself for what lay ahead.  "I'm going to rip open my back, I need
you to fold my wings and push them into the open pockets.  My back will
seal and then I will most likely pass out again.  Once I do, just leave me
here and go for help.  There are rangers about six hours walk north of this
point.  They are heading away from us, they are not sure where we have
landed.  You need to get to them, tell them I'm dead and go back to the
cabin, I'll..."  "No, I'm not leaving you here."  Lucian looked pissed,
even with his face in my lap I could tell he wasn't pleased with my
response.  "Logan you still need food and heat, you can't stay out here
with me as long as it will take me to regenerate.  You need to go find the
rangers before they leave the area."  I shook my head and Lucian bit my
thigh gently.  "Damnit Logan, just do what I tell you or else!"  I laughed
at him.  He was in no condition to order me around and he knew it.  "I'm
not leaving you Lucian, forget it."  "Look brat, if you don't promise me
now that you will go find the rangers after this, I wont do it, I'll keep
my wings out, force the bleeding to increase and kill myself within the
hour.  Promise me you will go."  Damn him.  He knew I wouldn't allow him to
die and he knew I wouldn't go to the rangers either.  "Fine, I promise."
"Good.  Now get ready, and no matter what, make sure you fold my wings down
first before they go in, if they remain out I'm as good as dead."  I nodded
slightly and moved my hands to fold the wings.  "Not yet, do it too early
and the pain will be too much for me to open my back."  "All right."  I sat
there, realizing now that my legs had fallen asleep and the sting of the
needle like blood flow was hammering in my head.  I pushed the feeling away
and watched Lucian, waiting for him to do what was needed.  His teeth grit
together as the long slices in his back split open hard and fast.  My hands
went immediately to his wings, folding them as quickly but as carefully as
I could before I pushed them down into the soft tissue of his flesh and
muscle.  He was sobbing in pain.  Gasping for breath, he tried to grip my
thighs but his fingers just barely clung to me.  He was so weak.  I forced
his wings into his body and sat back watching, waiting for the wounds to
heal and seal.  They weren't closing.  "Lucian?"  He was sobbing, I felt
hot tears soaking into my jeans and I lifted my hands to his back.  He was
trying so hard to concentrate, to make his body obey but I could feel it,
he was so weak so tired and blood wasn't pouring out of him simply because
there was none left to bleed.  I felt a rush of anger flood my mind.  "Fuck
you Lucian, you cry baby demon, close your god damn back, close it!  Now!
You tough shit wanna be ass hole, grow up and seal your god damn back you
bastard!"  I don't know why I said it, why anger was the first thing on my
mind but it seemed to work.  Lucian's body respond immediately and the twin
gashes down his body began to seal.  Slowly at first but then faster as it
went along, until the entire twin scars were once more closed and what was
left of his wings were safely embedded inside him again.

Lucian was panting, fighting as best he could but the moment those wounds
were closed he slipped out like a light.  I could barely tell if he were
breathing or not, his chest didn't seem to want to move from the pain that
over came it with each breath.  I fall back breathing hard.  My back
hitting the stone behind me with a thud as I just lay there, unsure what I
was feeling, what I was going to do.  I sure as hell wasn't going to leave
him in the woods, not like this.  I had to find a way to get the rangers
here, to help him, to help us both.  But Lucian still looked like a demon.
His skin was red from more then just the blood, his small horns were
protruding from his forehead, his nails were long and black, his tail was
sticking out from the cuff line of his jeans, there was no way to explain
him away.  My wings fluttered behind me.

Could I fly us out?  Could I carry us out of the tree line?  That still
wouldn't' do, I still couldn't get him to the rangers or back to the
campgrounds looking like that.  It was settled.  I was staying here; at
least until Lucian was well enough to change his form and I could get us
both out.  He would be pissed in the morning, but that was life.  Would be
the first promise I had ever broken, but I never said I would go to the
rangers today, just that I would go to them.  I smiled at my own cunning.
Lucian might hate me in the morning, but I wasn't leaving him.  I couldn't.



Lucian came to with a jerk.  His body was sprawled out over the ground, the
dew and cold grass chilled him to the bone and he shivered, sending a
ripple of pain through his entire body.  He felt sick, he was going to be
sick if he couldn't get a handle on his body.  His mind was clouded with
far too many thoughts and all of them lead to pain.  His cheek was resting
on a small flat rock, a pitiful substitute for the warmth of Logan's thigh.
But it pleased him in some ways.  Logan had left him, hopefully to find the
rangers and get himself to safety.  The cold wouldn't stop and the dampness
over Lucian's nearly nude body was soaking in deep.  He was shivering hard,
trying to control the tremors as each one rocked his wounds and made him
more susceptible to the devastation of the pain.  He couldn't let it get to
him or he would never get enough strength to repair himself.

His black coal eyes closed and he attempted to push away the cold with the
heat of his own flesh.  It wasn't responding well but at the very least it
was helping to calm his shivers.  The sudden snap of a branch off behind
him jarred his senses and his eyes lashed open.  He tried to move, tried to
turn his head to look back but nothing would obey him.  He was simply too
weak to do anything but lie there.  The sound was coming closer, if this
were a large predator Lucian might be shit out of luck.  He didn't have the
strength to fight off a game cat or something worse.  He took in a deep
breath, making himself very still, pulling at his body to gather enough
strength for one backlash of his fist.  If he could surprise the beast he
might save himself.

Whatever it was, it was huge, and it seemed to be heading right for him
with no concept of stealth.  Lucian tighter his muscles and held back the
groan of pain that came with the action.  He had to get just one swipe at
the creature, it may not be enough but he would go out like a demon rather
then a rag doll.

When some tumbled to the ground near his head his eyes game open again and
tried to focus on the large brown objects within view.  He hadn't realized
just how fogged his sight was until that moment, when Lucian's face filled
his eyes.

"Hey."  Lucian's heart sank.  It was worse then a predator, the bastard
hadn't left!

"lo.."  He coughed, clearing his throat of blood and haze.  His voice was
horse and shallow and he pushed through it as best he could to get out what
he had to say.  "Logan you idiot, you promised me you would leave."

Logan just smiled at him and started to shift through the wood he had
gathered to make some semblance of a fire.  He had something slung over his
shoulder and Lucian tried to make out what it was.  Not that he cared at
the moment, he was too pissed that Logan hadn't listened.  "I told you to
go get the rangers damnit.  Why did you stay?  They are long gone now, you
wont be able to get them back this way.  Damnit Logan stop grinning at me
like that and answer."

"Shut up Lucian, I wasn't going to leave you here like this, you can't even
roll over.  Besides, I'm better then you think I am.  I don't even have a
scratch on me anymore, not that I know why but I don't."  Whatever was over
his shoulder was slung off and to the side before Logan went back to piling
the wood.  Lucian didn't argue, he didn't have the strength.  In fact he
was feeling light headed again.

Fuck no, he didn't want to pass out again, not when Logan was out here
defenseless.  He groaned, trying to pull himself up onto his elbows and
roll over prove to Logan he was just fine and could take care of himself
enough to let Logan go for help.  He had to protect Logan, he had to keep
her away from Logan, and they were wasting so much time, so much valuable
time.  He wouldn't let it happen, not to Logan, not to HIS Logan.  After
five minuets he hadn't budged.  Slumping down into the earth once more,
Lucian's world went black again.



I had a fire going.  The matches I found in the saddle bag were most
helpful in getting that done.  I couldn't believe the luck, finally some
small piece of good luck in all this mess that was my vacation.  One of the
saddle bags on Raven's back must have fallen when he through me.  I found
it up in the tree line not to far from where we landed and though it had
hurt like hell to get my wings to work enough to get me up there I got it.
I was far from a world class aviator Angel but with a leap here, climbing a
few limbs there and a flap of feather to balance me, I made it up.  I had
been so proud of myself when I felt the leather bag within grasp.  Getting
down hadn't been easy, nor fun, but it was worth it to have the hot flames
of camp fire roaring beside Lucian.  There was also a blanket and I used it
to towel off the demon then hung it by the fire to dry off.  Running my
hands over the soft material I could tell it was dry enough to put over
Lucian.  He was out again, not that I blamed him.  He looked like hell and
yet still as devastatingly sexy as always.  If anything he looked more
gorgeous.  Laying like he was, stretched out over the ground, his long
black hair fanned out in all directions, his face relaxed and every once of
him vulnerable.  How he thought I could just turn my back and walk away was
beyond me.  I didn't have any love for the bastard.  Imprisoning me,
tormenting me with his mouth, raping me every chance he got and making me
into a moaning whore just for the hell of it.

Okay so there could have been worse torture but still.  He had saved my
life, but he had also taken my life away from me, or was going to if we
ever got out of here.  A smart man might have left the demon to die, hell a
smarter man might have even helped the process along!  I just couldn't.
There was something in that demon's eyes that just told me, irrefutably,
that he would never hurt me, never let anything else hurt me.  Why or how I
knew that was beyond my comprehension, I didn't really want to comprehend
it either.  There were still too many questions, too many things to be
accounted for and my entire life was spinning around me like a bad dream, a
fucking nightmare.  I was an angel!  I have wings growing out of my back
that can heal me when I'm in pain.  I had a demon master that had his own
set of wings and a tail that enjoyed lacing itself around my thigh and
making sure I was close.  I had a demon lover that wanted to protect me,
even from myself.

I ran a hand over my palm as I sat back on the stones.  I put the rolled up
bag under Lucian's head and the dry warm blanket over his ragged body.  He
was still out but showing signs of coming too again.  His wounds were
healing slower then my own but far quicker then human rate.  I watched him
from my perch on the rock, just watched the sunlight from the canopy
glitter over his dark red skin.  My wings fluttered and ruffled up at the
sudden breeze.  All in all it was a really nice day; cool but not cold,
warm but not hot, with a nice breeze, sun shinning with a few clouds here
and there.  Any other day I would have say back and just enjoyed the sun.

What would it be like to fly on a day like today?  To open my wings and
just lift up into the air and feel the clouds race past my face, taste the
wind and winter in my lips?  What would it be like to get that close to the
sun and feel so warm, so free?

Lucian's soft sound brought me out of the sky and back to the ground.  I
stood up and went to him, watching the confusion on his face when he found
the blanket and the mock pillow under him.  I smiled as he just gave into
it, didn't try to figure out what was going on and just enjoyed the
softness of the cover.  His eyes moved up to mine and I smiled slightly.

"Where did you get this stuff?  Why are you still here, can't you ever just
listen to me?"  I laughed softly.  Still worried about me, still worried
about my well being when he was close to death.

"Can you sit up at all?  I have some food for you."  He tried to move and I
could tell he wasn't going anywhere without help.  I lowered to my knees
and helped him up to a sit.  It was difficult, he was so sore and moving
pained him a lot but hunger was pushing at him to eat something, and ego
was demanding he look like he could handle the pain.  I got him a bowl of
soup I had set over the fire on some metal rods and a cup of water from the
stream.  He drank both quickly, obviously starved but too damn proud to say
anything.  He couldn't sit back against the stone with his wings in such
pain embedded in his back, but he sat forward with the blankets over his
shoulder and still he shivered.

I put my hand to his forehead and cursed.  He had a fever, a high one.
"Lucian I have to get you to a doctor."  I moved to gather up the leftovers
of the saddlebag and Lucian's hand caught me hard by the arm.  "No, I can't
afford to go to the doctor."  I frowned.  "I don't care about the money
Lucian, you saved my life the least I can do it pay your medical bills."
Lucian's smile puzzled me.  "Has nothing to do with money brat.  Look I'm
fine, my body will take care of my wounds and sickness on their own, just
need a little more time."  I didn't like it, and I didn't like the way he
was looking at me, as if I were the one about to die.  "Why aren't you
healing as fast as I did?"  I took a seat beside him and Lucian moved to
lean on me heavily.  It must have hurt to do so but it more then likely
hurt more to sit where he was without aid.  "Your wings are the source of
your power, as are mine.  Mine are so badly damaged they much first repair
themselves before they can repair me.  Once they are healed enough, they
will start in on me and I'll be fine, that's why you had to put them inside
me. Outside the body, they don't heal fast enough."  His eyes closed and I
felt my fingers stroke his cheek before I knew what I was doing and yanked
my hand away.

What was I thinking?  What was I doing?  I just nodded to what he said.

"They are almost healed enough to deal with my own wounds, just another
night and I'll be on the road to recovery.  That's why I wanted you to
leave me Logan, you are too much at risk out here alone, when I can't
protect you."  "Protect me from what?  Lions and Tigers and bears?  Come on
Lucian, it's just the woods; I'm not going to get eaten by a panther or
something.  I can take care of myself, it's you who can't even sit up on
your own.  And you wanted me to just walk away like an ass."  I hated this,
defending my reasons for staying, especially when I didn't even know why I
had stayed.

Lucian shifted, trying hard to pull some of his dignity back to him.  I
didn't like this at all, I didn't like the simple fact I couldn't leave him
here to die, run like I had wanted to do not but forty-eight hours ago.  He
looked up at me and I could see the need in his face, I could see his
gratitude that he wasn't alone, but I also saw pure hatred at his own
weakness, and anger that I had ever come close to witnessing it, let alone
taking it in first hand.

"What can I do to help Lucian.  I can heal myself, can I do anything to
help you?"  I think my words caught him off guard.  He looked up at me with
a mild shock yet something in him was incredibly warm.  He shook his head
slightly.  I took in a slow breath, not sure what made me do it but I slid
my arm around him and pulled him close to me.  He was still cold.  His deep
red skin, which had held such heat, fire of hell that it must have been,
was cold and sickly.  Even with his fever, his skin was like ice.  I pulled
him close and wrapped my wings protectively around him.  His shivering only
increased.


We sat there for a long time.  Hours.  Just him leaning into me, his arms
tight against his body, his hands clutched around the cup of water and
would sip at it from time to time.  My arms around him, my wings holding us
both, and we just sat, completely silent.  We listened to the sounds of the
woods, listened to the timber in the fire crack and eventually die down
into smoldering embers.  And still we said nothing.  Even with all my
questions, I just couldn't ask them, I just couldn't think about them, I
didn't want to think about them.

Lucian must have said my name four or five times before I finally heard
him.  My head shook and I looked down on him as he tried to move.  He
wasn't shivering anymore, he felt warm but that could have been from the
fever.  "Logan?"  "Hmm?"  "You awake now?"  "Yeah.  What's the matter?"
"I've got to pee."  I laughed.



We struggled to get him over to the bushes.  The demon was a huge mass of
muscle and bone, even sick and weak, he was heavy and extremely cumbersome.
I got him propped up against a tree and held him up with one arm and my
shoulder as he turned the brush into a toilet.  When I heard his melodic
laughter, a smooth rich sound that didn't appear sick as he felt, I arched
a brow and met his eyes.  He met mine and only seemed to laugh harder.  The
confusion must have been all over my face but he didn't bother to enlighten
me.  "Logan you have to be the most stubborn man I've ever met.  Stubborn
and complicated.  Any other fool would have left me here to die and here
you are helping me to piss.  What are you doing here?"  I glared at him, I
didn't want to answer that, let alone think on it long enough to answer it.
I didn't have an answer.  He was obviously feeling better by that sultry
smile on his face and I rolled my eyes and turned away from him.  When he
was done, I felt his tail slid against my ankle as he spoke.

"How about a swim, get the dirt and blood off us both?"  He was right, we
were both filthy, covered in god only knows what and our own blood.  I just
let out a breath and nodded before helping him over to the streambed.  It
got about waist deep in the middle, or so it seemed and as I stripped off
my jeans I saw that Lucian was fighting back another wave of nausea.  He
wasn't as well as he would like me to think and he wasn't doing well to
hide it.  I glared at the back of his head.

"I see that Logan.  Get over it and help me take off my pants.  I've got to
rinse my hair, it feels like a rats nest up there."  His hair looked fine.
It was shimmering in the dusk light and it didn't seem to have so much as a
twig in it.  Mine on the other hand was tangled and knotted beyond all
comprehension.  I didn't want to think about how cold that water was going
to be but the idea of getting the sweat and blood off my skin was just too
good to pass up.

Easing down into the fridged water, I helped Lucian get his pants off.  He
was moving better, his body was slowly starting to respond to the needs of
his mind and seal off the wounds that had been plaguing him.  Yet he still
looked like death warmed over.  "You sure you want to bathe Lucian, it wont
be good for your fever."  "It will help.  I need to bring it down before I
go into delirium.  Don't worry, after tonight I'll be okay, just got to get
through the evening."

My arms laced around Lucian and I helped him out into the middle of the
stream.  I could feel the heat radiating off him, like the water around us
was sucking the warmth from his body, but with it the fever was dropping.
He was leaning on me heavily, our naked skin pressed up against one another
for the first time without sexual desire or intent.  His black coal eyes
were dim and clouded, the lack luster of them almost made me cringe.  His
tail slid around my thigh, hugging me in a soft embrace, a weak embrace and
I pulled him close to me, letting him feel my heart beat steadily against
his chest.

"Why'd you do it Lucian?  Why did you just leap over that cliff?  Why did
you catch me and protect me?  Why did you let this happen to you if I'm
just some pet?"  I don't know why I said it, don't know where it came from
really but I had to know.  Was I just some toy, an expensive toy worth a
little trouble to keep alive?

Lucian's head came to rest on my shoulder.  I could tell he was fighting to
keep off the madness of the fever.  His mouth was softly kissing at my
throat, nuzzling me as he lay so perfectly still on my arms.  I dipped us
down into the water.  I couldn't feel the cold anymore.  Lucian's body had
turned the stream into a bathtub of warm water.  He groaned when the water
hit his back.  The wounds on his shoulder blades seeped out blood and
something almost yellow in color.  I watched the wound gape open and close
again with complete fascination.

"Lucian what's going on?  What's coming out of you?"  He opened his eyes, I
could feel his lashes flitter against my throat and he looked over his
shoulder to his back and the trail of strange color that was flowing down
the river.

"Toxins.  Don't touch it Logan."  I wanted to push him away from me, to get
the poison away from me but I couldn't move.  My arms stayed right where
they were and if anything I pulled him closer, as if my body wanted to
squeeze the toxic liquid from his body.

"What do you mean Toxins?"  "When demons are hurt, their bodies make a
poison so that if they are found, dissected, cut, eaten whatever, the have
something like a venom to kill whatever killed them.  Kind of a reaching
out from the grave to strike back."  He was loosing his battle with the
fevers mind games.  He was grinning and laughing softly as he spoke, as if
amused by it all.  My hand rose and I pushed his hair from his face gently.
"Normally doesn't happen until after they die, guess I'm just lucky."
"Always said you were a snake in the grass."  He smiled at that and I
repeated my earlier questions. "Why did you do it Lucian?  Tell me."

He pushed at me lightly, but my strength was complete and I kept him
against me, kept him warm as the water began to cool again.  He took in a
deep breath and sighed, putting his full weight on me.  "Mmm...simple logic
Logan."  "Logic?  What do you mean?"  I shifted us, moving over to a steep
embankment on the side of the stream where I could sit and work my fingers
into Lucian's hair.  "Yeap.  I told them it wouldn't be that hard but you
are so thick headed.  I mean it shouldn't take a genius to figure out love
and all that but you were so stubborn."  I nearly fell back on the ground
and Lucian tumbled with me.  I caught him on his back between my legs.
Seated in the stream, his lower body was still floating in the passing
water.  I could rinse his head here, it was deep enough to dip him and
shallow enough not to drown him.  "Love?"  "Yeap.  "What does a demon know
about love Lucian?"  I just rolled my eyes.  It was clear he was completely
out of it now.  His eyes were hazed over with pain and he laid heavily on
me, nothing but dead weight so to speak.  "Oh about three thousand years of
work in the field.  But shhh, you aren't supposed to know this stuff."  I
had to smile at him.  This kind of behavior made me wonder how he would act
drunk.  I figured it would be about the same.

"Three thousand years hu?  Is that how old you are?"  I leaned his head
back into the water, sliding my fingers through the long strands and
watching as more of that yellowish liquid seeped from his wounds.  He must
have been a lot worse off then he let on, a small pained groan slipped past
his lips as a large amount of the liquid spread into the water.  He was
silent for a long while as I just massaged his head.  He was easing in and
out of conciseness but he didn't look to be in as much pain.  His face fall
to one side and I felt his heated lips press a kiss into my palm.  It made
me smile despite my concern for him.  Lucian was beautiful, there was no
denying that.  Even torn up and battered he was so handsome.  I felt my
heart doing it again, not just sympathizing for him but wanting to care
about him, wanting him to need me, wanting him to want me.  I am such an
idiot.

"Why are you so familiar to me Lucian?"  I wasn't asking, I knew he
couldn't hear me as he lay there wrapped up in my arms.  I had too many
questions and I didn't really want the answers to any of them.  "Why do I
feel like you have been missing in my life?  Why do you make my skin hum
and my body moan?  Why do I care if you live or die when all you have done
is control me and...protect me?"  I drew in a deep breath and slid my hand
through his hair once more, I needed to get him out of the water.  His
fever had dropped and he was looking more relaxed now that those toxins had
oozed out of him.  I wasn't sure if it was safe to touch him but I didn't
care at that point.  My arms slid around him and I lifted him up as best I
could.  I could bench press a lot of weight and Lucian, while slightly
bigger then me, didn't' seem like he would weight a lot, but the man nearly
toppled me when I tried to rise.  I barely heard him speaking as I
struggled to get us over to the fire and dry off before the night chill set
in.

"I'm over three thousand years old, but not too much more.  You are too.  I
met you a thousand years before Christ and I still haven't stopped
protecting you."  His eyes came open slowly and met mine, there was
something in them, something I hadn't seen there before, a fire, a passion,
a need for me to understand, to remember something.  But nothing would come
to me.  I looked away and put a few more logs on the fire, bundling Lucian
up in the blanket and putting his tattered jeans back on to give him more
warmth.  I forced some soup down his throat and ate a little myself.  I
noticed I had been needed less and less food lately, for whatever reason.
Lucian fell asleep with his head in my lap, my wings had dried nearly the
moment I stepped out of the water and thus made for perfect blankets.  That
night, I had a dream.  The only dream I could ever remember having my
entire life.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


Lucian was laying across my bed.  A wonderful bed of white silk and
cottons, unearthly fabrics that flowed down to the ground and were
scattered about the room, pillows and cloud soft sheets that were tangled
in both our bodies.  We didn't' have wings then, just two men, lost in one
another.  His red skin against the whites made him look like a statue, cut,
every line defined and lovely.  I was laying across his chest.  My arms out
stretched along his body, tangled with his naked leg, my head on his
stomach and his under a folded arm.  My fingers were laced on his hair and
his in mine and we were just resting, breathing slowly, enjoying the
morning light that seemed to come from everywhere.  I was in love with him
then.  I felt it, pure love, pure as the white that surrounded us.  He was
devotion and kindness and I was asleep in his arms with contentment written
all over my face.

The image changed.  Lucian was under me, moaning my name.  His body open
for me, my mouth was around his cock, teasing him, enjoying him, watching
him writhe off the bed.  He was stroking his hands through my hair and down
my back, pulling me into him, lost in what I was doing to him, willingly
doing to him.  He was beautiful, radiant, his skin so soft under my touch
and I was savoring him, stroking, nuzzling his thighs, pressing myself into
him and wanting to be closer still.  He was whispering something, over and
over again, what was it.  I listened harder.  "I love you."  There, I heard
it now, and I smiled, I said it in return, I meant it.  I needed it.  There
wasn't anything forced about it, it was too real to be a dream, a memory?
I couldn't hold on to it, it was slipping away.  He was slipping away.

Something tore us apart; flung us at corners and I couldn't get to him,
something wouldn't let me reach him.  He was in pain, he was hurting, he
was bleeding and he was screaming for help.  I couldn't reach hum, I
couldn't get to him, what was keeping us apart, what had destroyed that
beautiful image?  Why couldn't I see him anymore?  Why could I still feel
him in my mind?
 
"You can't do this!"  "I can do whatever I please and you will not speak
another word to me in such contempt servant."  "How dare you tell me how my
life should be, you gave them choice, rights to live as they desired and
for us you use and enslave, bind us to you with fear and...."  "That is
enough!  You're choice has been made; you will be disgraced with the rest
of your chosen companions.  Your light shall be stripped of you servant and
I will not allow your dirty soul to be near mine any more.  You are the
fallen!  Let no being of this realm ever speak your name in my grace
again!"

Now it was dark, raining, something was touching my head, something warm,
soft, and tender.  I was small and I couldn't remember how I had gotten
there.  There were black eyes looking at me, watching me with such
affection in them.  I needed them, wanted to talk, to say something
important but I couldn't.  There was something on my chest, something
wrapped around me and then those eyes were gone and there was bright light,
so bright it blinded me and I thought that the eyes had all been a dream.
They were fading away like a dream, like the name of a book you couldn't
remember.  Then they were gone and all I saw were the faces of my parents.

I remembered.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


I remembered!  My face was covered in sweat, my eyes stung with tears and
something inside me tore open as I threw myself away from Lucian's sleeping
body.  I ran into the woods, my stomach up heaving whatever was left inside
of it.  I gripped to a tree for support as a world of emotions flooded into
my mind.  I was sobbing, I couldn't see past the tears in my eyes, I
couldn't breath past the violent dry heaves of my stomach.  My fingers
clawed into the bark of the tree, my legs shaking so terribly I thought I
might fall over.  I remembered.  I remembered everything.  Lucian, God, the
Angels, the fall, the lies, everything.  They were all there as plane as
day in my mind and they were throbbing so hotly I must have gone mad, I
would go mad for all the things that came to me.  Wars, miracles, people,
souls, battles with demons, slaves, the torment of those in heaven and in
hell, there was so much and it was all flooding in, every last thing
demanding attention, all of it demanding to force my senses open and accept
it all, all at once.  I fell to the ground, my wings lifting up off my back
and stretching out as I screamed into the dead silence of night.  My body
seemed to glow white-hot flames, my eyes filling with lights until
everything around me erupted into holy light.

I fell forward, slumping onto the ground and clutching at the earth and
nearly four thousand years of pain and hatred filled my body.  I was an
angel; a fallen angel and I had been used for such wrong.


(To be continued.  *NOTE*: You can now find this story as well as other
pieces of my work at the yahoo groups http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Xadith/
Please make sure you read the notice before joining.)