Date: Sun, 24 Apr 2005 16:57:30 -0700
From: B Keeper <silvershimmer@earthlink.net>
Subject: How Much Wood Would Pinnochio Grow if Pinnochio Could Grow Wood?

     "How Much Wood Would Pinocchio Grow If Pinocchio Could Grow Wood?
				    by
			     Timothy Stillman

Billy loved playing with his willie. He had learned to play
his willie like a clarinet two months ago. It was more fun
than a clarinet, he bet. Every night, like now, here in his
bed with the SpongeBob night light on, he lay in his
jammies and played with his willie.

If he could stop thinking about the movie he saw tonight. If
he could stop thinking about the horror movie he saw
tonight. Because Tony the Tiger, his bro, had made him
watch the movie, so Bro and his girl could cuddle on the
porch swing in the nighty night.

The music of the movie was by Goblin. The movie was
about elves and gnomes and goblins and trolls hiding under
bridges. The movie weirded Billy out. Even though in the
dark of the living room, by the light of the TV, he played
with his willie under his jammies.

His willie made him happy. Tonight the willie made him
not as happy. He closed his eyes and did not watch the
movie. But what movie he was seeing in his eyelids was
worse. So he opened them again. And that was when
Donald Pleasance got it in the gut. And Don's monkey was
not amused.

Oh kiss kiss on the porch swing. Oh tit feel. And here was
Willie finally in his bed, after film over, and Bro and girl
parted for the night. And he rubbed his willie and it tickled
so and he giggled so. But he could not stop thinking about
that movie. And the music. And he knew there was one of
those fairy tale things in his closet in the dark of night.

Even though kids at school made "fairy" a mean word to
hurt some of the other kids who sometimes knocked the
teeth out of the kids who made them sad (for which Billy
was happy; revenge is nice, especially when you're beat up
on a lot), but tonight there was a fairy in his closet. And
that was not funny a bit.

Speaking of bit, Billy just had a bit of a willy. He hoped it
would grow. He saw his bro's bigggg dick once in the
bathroom, and his own little toothpick went sprong. And it
was sprong now. And it was so warm and it had this nice
little head on it and little pulse veins on the side. It was a
pretty good looking one too, if Billy did say so himself.
Though he didn't. Hey Miss Farnham. Yes, Willie, prune
butt turns from the blackboard, and Billy says I got a great
willie. And Miss prune butt says, oh good class, let's see
Billy's willie. Now everyone don't laugh.

Ha ha. But now the scene of the school room was of
nothing but fairies and goblins and trolls. The music by
Goblin played in his head. It was pretty good music
actually, kind of unforgettable. So mostly now he was
assured there was a goblin in his closet.

And that made willie sad and willie hung his head and
deflated and didn't stick out like an  insect leg anymore.
And that was so unfair. It had made Billy so happy,
rubbing his willie, getting the tingle, and then the tingle
spreading through his whole body and then the little ah and
oh and tension released and warm wash cloths inside him
and soothing every inch of him from within .

But now willie was scared, and Billy it was up to to protect
willie, cause willie was a nice little fellow and was one of
the few things that made him happy.

And then Billy saw it---in the pale of the moon and the
corner of light splashed delicately and vaguely, too vaguely
for Billy's content, by the SpongeBob night light, there
was the closet door opening in the moon light from the
window. And willie drew his nut sac right into Billy's
groin. And Billy was sore a'frightened. And the door
opened a little bit more. And Billy smelled the mashed
potatoes he hid in there the other night when his mother
made him sit at the table by himself till he finished the
mashed potatoes. He hated mashed potatoes. So he
sneaked out and dumped them in an unused tennis shoe in
his bedroom closet. That smelled rank.

He felt like a mashed potato now. He pushed his willie
inside his jammies door, and said I will protect you little
fellow. But he was too scared to protect his little friend.

And then the door rushed open and there was the
scattering of all that stuff in that overstuffed closet, and
Billy almost screamed, and then the little swish of air and
colors of red and green and bold blue came racing fast as
Superboy right to his bed and was on the covers beside the
boy ashiver, in a whirl. And Billy, body locked, was ready
to scream the rafters of the world down.

Until the quick move. The fatal move. And the quick, fatal
move was the goblin going for Billy's willie. No, Billy
thought in a nanosecond, which was how fast the goblin
seemed to move, you can have my ears, my arm, my right
arm please, I'm left handed and need that one, but then and
then the goblin started to--

--gobble.

On Billy's willie. And Billy felt the cold ice inside become
the warm wash cloths inside. And the balls backed out of
his groin again, and the goblin sucked and gobbled and
sighed and did all sorts of neat goblin tricks to Billy's willie
and Billy gradually lay back and relaxed, and the cutest
thing of all was that the goblin started to glow and the
goblin looked up at little Billy and the goblin started to
grow, and it was a boy singer from Billy's favorite band.
The goblin expanded to Billy's height and the goblin, now
the boy singer, lay beside Billy and then the boy singer
former Goblin went back to goblin Billy`s willie right
along.

Good goblin.

Good Donald Pleasance.

Good little willie.

Good scary old closet.

Good dumb ol'Bro.

Good ol' Bro's knock kneed dumb ol' girl friend.

Good SpongeBob.

Good moon light.

And the beautiful young boy beside Billy looked at him and
said in a musical voice, to the back beat of music by
Goblin, "wanna gobble a goblin, Billy, since a goblin just
gobbled your willie, Billy?"

"Why yes," said Billy when he could swallow again, "I
would love to gobble your gobbler, goblin, and I think I
shall."

And so he did.

Now, if you are a little boy, or not so little, wouldn't you
like to have a goblin like that in your closet every night? I
know I sure would.

Story time over, boys and girls, let's hit the sack. And
dream goblin dreams.

		     and they lived happily ever after


Timothy Stillman
B Keeper
silvershimmer@earthlink.net