Date: Thu, 15 Feb 2007 19:58:32 EST
From: Tommyhawk1@aol.com
Subject: "In Love With My Own Penis"

			 IN LOVE WITH MY OWN PENIS
			   By Tommyhawk1@AOL.COM
		      WWW.TOMMYHAWKSFANTASYWORLD.COM
			WWW.TOMMYHAWKSROGUEMOON.COM

     It was a very strange walk to be on. I fixed on one guy walking by and
thought, "Damn!"

     "Yeah!" my partner said to me as he fixed his one, big, weeping eye on
the stud. "You can just tell he's got a big wiener, can't you?'

     "Well, yeah." I admitted. He did have a big wiener. He had it under
one arm, in fact!

     "I don't think that's what they mean when they say that." I pointed
out.

     "Hey, I know that." my partner said as he rolled along on his big,
bulbous rollers. "You have to understand, here everything is literal as
well as figurative."

     "Is that why I'm walking along talking with a dick?" I said to him.

     He nodded. "That's just it."

     "I was wondering about that." I said with a grin. "You sometimes know
the guy you're with is a dick, but you don't always get to see him that
way." My smile slipped. "But then...why aren't you...smaller? You know,
like a real dick."

     "Well, I could be that small." he said, in a bit of a snit about
it. "But then, would you pay me any attention at all?"

     "Hey!" I said. "I wasn't trying to be nasty about it. I was just
curious."

     "Like you used to be curious?" he managed to cock his single eye at
me. Or was that his mouth? I realized now that he had the single slit on
the center of his head, and nothing else.

     "Curious how?"

     "I mean, you and me spent many a warm, happy night under the covers
after we went to bed."  he pointed out. "Not to mention those wonderful
lazy Saturday mornings, just you and me and that bit of morning loving we
had?"

     I looked at him again. "Charley?" I said to him.

     He nodded. "You didn't even know who I am?" He sounded offended.

     "Hey, hey, not like this, I didn't!" I protested. "I'm used to having
you down there between my legs and...and attached to me and such."

     "It used to be that way." Charley said to me. "But I don't know how
much longer that's going to even matter to you!" He was definitely
weeping. Having to console a crying penis is something of a conundrum in
logic! Not to mention rather sticky!

     "Hey, Charley, don't be that way!" I said as I patted
his...back. Hell, I don't know what to call it, the part of him that was
behind from my point of view. I had to sort of lean in, for his balls (what
he had been ambulating on somehow or other) were sort of in the way of my
feet.

     "You're forgetting all about me." He mourned. "You and that...that guy
you're with now!"

     "Hey, let's talk about this." I said. "You know you're important to
me! You're my dick, Charley! I love you! It breaks my heart to see you like
this."

     "Careful!" he said as I felt my heart cracking in my chest. "You
forget that this place is not only figurative but literal!" His tears
vanished in concern for me.

     "Why are we here, then?" I said as the feeling passed, to my great
relief.

     "Oh, you've been here any number of times." Charley said. "Sometimes
with me, sometimes by yourself."

     "Why would anyone choose to come here?" I said.

     "Choice is what it is." Charley explained. "You know the state of
Schroedinger's Cat until you open the box and find out, remember?"

     "They say the cat is both dead and alive at the same time." I
mused. "I never saw that, frankly, even as a metaphor for quantum states. I
mean, isn't a cat either one or the other, whether we can see it or not?
Not that I don't feel sorry for any cat stuck in a box like that."

     "The point is, until a decision is made, all decisions exist." Charley
explained. "So you come here, where anything and everything is real. You're
here until you make your decision and then the wave-front collapses, and
only one reality remains. That's why you're here."

     "So I have a decision to make."

     "Yes, and you need to do so soon." Charley pointed to a small figure
running by. "Time waits for nobody. Not even you and me, here." That
explained the clock for the small fellow's body, all right.

     I chuckled, a snort you get when you think of something funny.

     "What?" Charley wanted to know.

     "We need to find my old friend Gregg, remember him? He had a face that
could stop a clock!"

     "Oh, that's disgusting!" a woman shrieked at me. "A six-foot penis!
Can't you cover that thing up or something?"

     "What?" I turned. This woman was a mess, I mean a real mess. She was
coming to pieces, cracks all over her body, bits falling as she moved.

     "Never mind her." Charley said. "She's here because she's just learned
her boyfriend doesn't want to date her any more. You can see how she's
coming all apart, just thinking about it."

     "Well, I like that!" the woman sniffed and gestured with her arm, a
mistake because her arm fell off and went flopping off down the road by
itself. Nothing bloody about it, the arm was still alive, in fact, it
seemed to have a mind of its own now, one determined to get away from the
woman!

     "You'd better catch that." I advised as she took off after her errant
arm, shedding parts as she went, and I noted with bemusement that the
pieces all rolled after her. Given some time, she could pull herself
together again.

     "Never know when you might need to give someone a hand." Charley put
in.

     "Hey, that was my line." I said to Charley and we laughed as she
stormed off, chasing her arm which had raised up onto its fingers and was
gaining speed, the arm waving good-bye to her.

     "Just because you break up with a guy is no reason to go all to pieces
like that." I judged. "Do you think she can get the guy back?"

     "Hah." Charley sneered. "When pigs fly, maybe!"

     "And there they go!" I said, seeing the pink forms flapping along
overhead. "Makes me wish I had an umbrella." It was rough enough dodging
pigeon droppings , this was a dozen times worse!

     Then I realized. "Is this why you think you and I are going to lose
each other? Is that why we're here, same reason as her, because I'm losing
you?'

     "You tell me." Charley said. "This is your box and I'm the cat. Am I
alive or am I dead?"

     "Hey!" I said, putting my arm around him. "I could never forget about
you! You're my best friend!"

     "But what about...him?" Charley said. "Jeffrey, isn't it?"

     "Yes, Jeffrey." I sighed. "I know. Jeffrey is a bit weird in bed,
isn't he?"

     "Are you really serious about him?" Charley wanted to know. "I mean, I
have a right to know."

     "He's really good to me." I said. "He's intelligent and kind and
thoughtful and he treats me so good."

     "Except when it comes to me." Charley added.

     "Except when it comes to you." I sighed. "I can't explain it. Jeffrey
has his own way of making love to a guy." Jeffrey, I should explain, was
into a sort of frottage in bed. He would lube up a part of my upper thigh,
lie on top of me and place his cock on top of it, and rub himself all the
way to climax. I would end up with a sticky leg and a satisfied lover, and
be left to whack myself off while Jeffrey lay next to me, getting bored if
I took too long and getting up and leaving me alone.

     Other than that, I repeat, Jeffrey was a great guy to me. Terrific to
be with.

     But you can see why Charley and I had some talking to do; it's one
heck of an exception to the rule to live with!

     "You're right." I sighed. "I have to choose between you and him." I
said. "Do I want the happiness I have with Jeffrey in every way but the
bedroom? Or is that enough for me to cut him loose, dump the guy and go
back to looking."

     "I guess it means," Charley said and there was a forlorn tone to his
voice, "that you have to give me up and all we had. I mean, you know that
we can't keep doing what we did when we were eighteen years old forever. I
get older and we just can't do it as much. Maybe one day," and there was
the heaviest sigh I'd ever heard, "we won't be able to do it at all. I
guess you should go ahead and choose Jeffrey. When I'm down for the count,
you and he can still go on."

     And Charley broke down and cried, bending over, shrinking.

     "No, Charley, no!" I gasped as I hugged the big, round body close to
me. "Don't think that way! I could never forget about you! Honest!"

     "I just want you to be happy!" Charley blubbered on my shoulder. "I
want you to be happy, like you keep me happy!"

     "You make me happy, too!" I leaked a tear of my own. "All those times,
I can't forget about all those times!" And I couldn't, man, I would wake up
and there was Charley, already hard and standing tall, practically laughing
as he reminded me that this was a day off, I could sleep in late...if
sleeping was what I wanted to do, he'd always say, as he waggled and told
me how hard and firm and ready he was! I'd wrap my hand around him and the
joy would begin! God, sometimes I'd keep going on Charley for an hour or
more. Finally, there would come that moment of climax and I'd hold it back,
hold it back, keeping myself on the verge of ejaculation, holding that
orgasm right at the peak, until then I'd let it go and Charley would blow
all over me, such heavy wads, God, those were the days!

     "But Jeff is good for you!" Charley told me in loving
self-denial. "You can do without me, without a lover who's willing to work
me for you. I mean, sure, I wanted that, wanted someone to suck on me and
let me stick myself up his ass, but...but Jeff is good for you."

     "But you deserve that." I countered. "You deserve it for all those
times when the hand was all I could give you, all the pleasure you gave me
in return, you gave me that in the promise that there would come the day
when it wasn't only a fantasy I was feeding you, but the real thing."

     "But Jeff...."

     "If Jeff can't give you what you need," I said firmly. "Then he can't
give me what I need, either!"

     "Oh, I love you!" Charley moaned. "I just want you to be happy."

     "You make me happy." I reminded him. "Over and over again, too many
times to count. If Jeff can't love you, then I'd better get back to
looking."

     "But you'll be all alone again."

     "I'll never be alone as long as I have you."

     Charley jumped up into my arms, nestled his balls into their
accustomed place at my crotch.  The weight of him (he was still my size)
was enough to send me sprawling. A park bench, I landed on a park
bench. "Umph!" I said. "Lucky this bench was here." I said.

     "Luck had nothing to do with it." Charley panted. "My gift for you, we
are here to figure out if we will belong together. Everything will return
to the way it was once you choose, once you truly choose."

     "I have chosen."

     "Not entirely." Charley said. "You still want Jeff. I understand."

     "Then understand this." I said as I held onto him. Tightly, the folds
of the loose skin about Charley's shaft bulged over my arms. "I don't ever
want to stop feeling the way you make me feel when I do this. And I moved
my arms up and down on Charley, sending the folds of skin up over the
glans. The old familiar thrill rushed through my body. Charley was a part
of me again.

     The movement of my arms should have tired me, but I was in a place
where the rules didn't apply any longer. I was able to work my arms the way
I would my hand when I jerked Charley, not with all the speed, but the was
no tiredness, no perceptible slowing as I moved his skin up and down within
my arms, upon my chest, the thick velvet feel of it brushing my cheek, the
hot warmth of it burning against my body! The aroma from him was clean and

     Charley was sort of...humming in an appreciative way. The sound of his
pleasure was radiating out of him and into me, rushing through my body the
way it always had.

     "Oh, I love when you do this with me." Charley murmured through the
humming. "I love the way you make me feel."

     "I love the way you make us feel." I countered. My breath was getting
short, I gasped and said, "I don't ever want to stop feeling like this."

     "We don't have to stop." Charley said. "You can have Jeff, and just
you and me keep doing this."

     "You deserve better than that." I said. "Something other than fantasy
the rest of my life."

     "Something like we got now?" Charley pointed out and I laughed.

     "Well, something that makes more sense." I breathed. "God, I hope
those pigs don't fly right overhead and have an accident!" The pigs were
flying nearby, like so many piggy banks with wings.  A jabberwocky was
dueling with a guy off near a forest (the tulgy wood?) and some hearts were
dancing in a row like so many chorus girls. I wasn't the only person here
with a problem to solve.

     "I could live with just the fantasy." Charley offered again. "You do
this so well, I don't ever get tired of it. Not ever."

     "I know." I said. "You're always ready when I am, even when I'm not
sometimes." I panted when I finished that. The joy was racing through my
body now, such simple, raw, unadorned rapture.  "What's going to happen
when I come, here, now?" Was I going to be drenched. When I had a good
climax, I shot a huge load. Multiply that huge load by the size of Charley
and I was in danger of drowning!

     "Don't worry!" Charley gasped. "I'll blow most of it over your head."

     "Okay." I got out, a strangled noise of syllables. "Oh, God, I'm...I'm
coming!" That was only a whisper.

     "Hold it in, hold it in!" Charley begged me. "Like you do. Make it
last, make it last!"

     I did, I clenched my body like I always do (hell if I know which
muscles I'm clenching, something in my groin area, I guess), and let the
joy go on. You can't make a sound when doing it, I didn't, I just held and
held and the climax was blowing my mind.

     But there's a point you'd better not keep holding it, you have to let
it go, and I did, and Charley blew his load like he always does, and hot
chunks of sperm flew over my head, but each wad was followed by a dribbling
of after-spurt that dribbled onto my head, and that was enough to soak my
hair completely, hot, salty seed poured over my head and onto my shoulders,
and I was falling into exhaustion, and with the exhaustion
came...alteration.

     Collapse of the wave-front.

     And I was back in bed, in Jeff's bed. Jeff came out of the
bathroom. "Oh, you're done now."  he said to me. "Whoa, you shot a big one
that time, didn't you?"

     "I guess so." I panted.

     "Well, I'm glad you got off now." Jeff said. "You want to get dressed?
We'll go to a new restaurant, I hear they have some great seafood there."

     "Sounds good." I said.

     "Great." And Jeff walked out the door, leaving me alone to get cleaned
up and dressed.

     In the bathroom, I looked at the mess on my body, the sticky spot that
Jeff had lubed up and the patches of my jizz. In the middle of it, was my
penis, which I had affectionately named Charley.  Looked at him and felt
myself make a decision.

     I got cleaned up and went out to see Jeff. He and I had some talking
to do. I was going to try to salvage this relationship, but if Jeff wasn't
going to make Charley happy, he was history.

     Because while I was in love with Jeff, I was in love with my own penis
more!

				  THE END
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