Date: Tue, 28 Sep 2010 14:04:31 -0700 (PDT) From: Cailen Vature <cailenauthor@yahoo.com> Subject: raven chapter 13 PLEASE READ THESE DISCLAIMERS: This story is a very long work of gay erotic science fiction. There are some scenes of man on man action but it will not be a dominating factor in this story. So if you are looking for something to get off to you might as well turn around now. The names and places in this story are entirely fictitious, any relation to persons or events are entirely coincidental. HOWEVER: they are based off of real places and events to make the story seem more plausible. If you are underage, or this is illegal where you are, then please do the right thing... (Whatever that may be...) This story is copyrighted, ©2010. To me the author and it is therefore illegal to copy or use any part of this story without my written permission. Which leads me to: If you have any desire to get in contact with me for comments, directions to a good Beta, pictures, or music relating to the story, or for permission to use my story (for lord only knows what...) You may contact me at my email address: cailenauthor@yahoo.com Thank you: Cailen Chapter 13: Life in the Closet Have you ever woken up and felt like you were still dreaming? That was how I spent the majority of my weekend as I mostly slept or went to the bathroom. I was able to go on my own but I was still sore. Monday morning was awkward as I awoke and found myself in my room and for a moment I forgot how I got there. I had slept for a long time I could tell from the sun on the horizon and it felt good... damn good. I stretched and felt the dull ache in my side that reminded me that it all wasn't a dream and that everything that had happened at school had really happened. For the first time since this whole mess, I really wondered what life would be like when I got back to school. The idea was both exciting and very frightening. I swung my legs over the side of the bed and got up. The motion of standing still felt kind of awkward but I managed to walk over to my dresser and grab a different shirt and throw it on and made my way down stairs. I took my time on the stairs holding onto the railing and slowly made my way to the bottom where I found a nice spot on the couch in the sunlight and sprawled with a pillow behind me. "You're awake!" I heard my mother exclaim from the kitchen "You're here?" I asked looking at the clock on the wall. Normally my mom should still be teaching at this time of the day. "I took the day off to take care of you" she said walking over to me and gave me a kiss on my forehead. "Though I didn't anticipate you sleeping till two in the afternoon" "I guess I needed it, I feel a lot better" I said giving her a weak smile "Are you hungry I'm making Eggies" she said Eggies in a basket would probably be my favorite breakfast snack of all time. If you like toast and eggs then this snack is for you. "Yes please!" I my stomach took that exact moment to growl hungrily as if to emphasis my point. Soon wonderful smells emanated from the kitchen and mom came back with a plate with my two Eggies on it. I had just taken my first bite and gave her a congratulatory `thumbs up' when the doorbell rang "I'll get it" she winked at me and I saw her disappear Moments later she came back in "You have company" she said stepping aside to reveal Ian and then going back into the kitchen. He was just as gorgeous as I remembered him. He was still wearing his school clothes, he smelled like chlorine as he had been swimming. He smiled at me with his astonishing light blue eyes twinkling at me, his perfect teeth forming a smile he took a seat on the floor facing me, he shrugged off his backpack and gave my hand a squeeze "How are you?" I asked The smile temporarily dimmed from his face but returned again after a moment "It was a long weekend but it's all better now that I'm here" Ian smiled "What happened this weekend?" I asked since I was asleep through most of it. "Church politics" Ian sighed "yesterday's sermon was directly about you and how you're spreading the words of Satan" I sighed knowing that this was going to happen I reached out my hand to Ian who took it and continued on "They're trying to martyr Corey a hero and saying what he did was justified however my dad was oddly surprised when a few members of the congregation walked out in the middle of his sermon... I guess your little inspirational letter to the papers didn't fall on completely deaf ears. Corey's parents were among them" My eyes widened in surprise "I got a chance to speak with Mrs. Vancil before the sermon she told me `I cannot accept homosexuals, nor can I understand them because I am not one of them, but a mutual respect for each other...' she then trailed off. I think you got to her" I smiled in my mind I had a hope that maybe someday the events that happened to me might never happen again "I brought your homework, Mr. Driscoll told me to give you this" Ian reached into his bag and pulled out a book and handed it to me. Attached was a letter explaining that the book was the last one for my English class and I could take the tests for all of the books when I got back. I flipped through the book and Ian got into a more comfortable position "Think you could help me with my math?" Ian asked We then launched into homework mode as I began explaining his work to him and we continued on studying into the early evening. By the end of the week I was completely stir crazy. My parents were probably ready to kill me. I had completed my homework by Tuesday and by the time the weekend arrived I was about ready to snap. My only consolation was Ian who came almost every day and kept me company as I helped him with his homework. I could hardly believe I was looking forward to school as I got dressed and grabbed my bag for the first time in two weeks. It was like starting my first day all over again. It was surreal as I walked to the bus stop. There was a stiff breeze in the air, but the sun was warm, we were definitely nearing fall the leaves were changing color. Colleen was already there waiting with her flute as usual she simply nodded in acknowledgement to my presence. We waited in a comfortable silence when she suddenly spoke "My Uncle is gay" she said "Excuse me?" I asked spinning around "I wanted to let you know that I don't think there's anything wrong with you, my Uncle is gay and has been with his partner for several years now" she said "Well the whole school heard about Cory and then how Ian rescued you, I even watched you get pulled out of the school in the stretcher." She said "I just assumed you were and I'm okay with it" "It's not that, it's just..." I trailed off "It's just what?" she asked "I've never really just went out and announced I'm gay to strangers" I said "Dustin no offense" Colleen smiled "you just announced it in a newspaper" she smiled "Yea don't remind me" I smiled back We went our separate ways once we got on the bus but for the first time in a long while I felt a little positive. I had an ally. Those positive feelings didn't last too long as I immediately heard and felt the whispers and stares as I walked to my first class which was thankfully English today. Mr. Driscoll was all smiles and I was allowed to take my tests of the books I had read which took up the majority of the period. I was allowed to watch Ian from the corner of my eye which gave me relief. I got hung up talking to Mr. Driscoll and I rushed out the door hoping to at least say hi to Ian before my next class and I turned the corner to my locker and there for me to view in plain sight was Ian kissing Amanda Bleakly with his hand in her skirt. They were so caught up in what they were doing they didn't even notice me. Part of me wanted to rush in there in fists of fury but another part of me just wanted to run. I settled for rushing to the nearest bathroom and vomited my breakfast. Rational thought returned to me as I clutched the sides of the toilet seat. "He said he had broken up with her" I even said out loud for confirmation. This past week while locked up Ian told me how he had broken up with Amanda Bleakly and how we were an item. Betrayal stung me deeply and I was so upset I hardly noticed that I was probably beginning to have a panic attack. My heart was racing and I broke into a cold sweat. I stood and washed cold water over my face breathing deeply when the doors to the bathroom burst open and Colin and a teacher rushed in. "DUSTIN" Colin shouted rushing up to me "are you alright?" he asked clearly concerned looking me over. I looked up at the teacher following him. It was Mrs. McCarthy my C Block Civics teacher. "I'm sorry nerves from coming back; I just lost my breakfast I'm alright..." I said looking down ashamed I had let myself get this upset. Ian and I hadn't even been out on a date yet. I had thought with everything he said in the hospital and all the visits he did over the past week, that I had meant something special to him. "That's alright Dustin, you didn't arrive to class and a couple of your classmates express concern because they saw you last period. Let's get to class shall we, or would you like to go to the nurses office I'll write you a pass" Mrs. McCarthy asked "Class please" I answered and I followed Colin to Civics Needless to say I didn't learn much because my brain was completely somewhere else as my mind replayed the kiss over and over in my head and my heart ached just thinking about it. `Why did he do this?' I asked myself I flashbacked "We don't tell anyone, not my dad not yours not anybody... these feelings are new and strong so let's see where they lead and you and I can explore our relationship in private... if it comes to a point where we are ready to `come out of the closet' we can address that at a later time?" Ian asked Then an even earlier moment "It's okay if it was you know" I moved in closer till we were only inches apart and placed one hand on Ian's side and another on his shoulder. Ian didn't move. I glanced up into Ian's crystal eyes and started drowning into their depths. Ian licked his lips and ever so slowly started moving his head closer and closer closing the gap between us. My heart started palpitating in my chest as I watched Ian come closer and closer when suddenly he changed course. Ian wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close into a tight hug. "I'm sorry" Ian said taking his hand and rubbing my back gently "I can't be that for you, but I want to be your friend very much" He held me in his arms for a few minutes then let him slowly back away "I'm sorry Raven" Ian said Then alarm bells started ringing in my head `He's not gay, he's bi-sexual' I thought `and... fuck he's played me like a fiddle' I had been duped, Ian was attracted to both me and Amanda and while he may be attracted to me, he was never going to give up his relationship with Amanda, no matter how many times I was assaulted in the men's room. My heart broke that moment and tears began to streak down my face but my mind was calm. I left my books, I gathered my personal notebooks and I stood and walked out of the classroom and down the hall much to the stunned class. I used my cell and called my dad. I decided that sometimes in order to fix something I needed to make a change God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. I was hardly shocked when I saw Ian appear at our house after school and I decided to head him off at the pass and I went to the front door to greet him. I opened the door and stepped out shutting it tightly behind me "Ian" I breathed looking at him, he was still beautiful and my heart yearned for him all over again "Dustin are you alright, you just walked out of class I was worried" Ian asked me trying to lean in close to me but I backed away, "Ian I saw you and Amanda" I just blurted out and Ian recoiled back as if he had been stung by a bee. "You... you saw?" Ian asked "Ian I love you, but I can tell you need more time to sort out your feelings on your own. I can't be going from sad to elated to sad again... these past couple of weeks and being with you were among the happiest of my life as I spent time and got to know you. But my happiness should not come at the expense of yours." I said "so I talked to my dad and we've arranged it so that I can take my exams and test out of my classes and take the rest of the year off." "But..." Ian stammered "I want you to take a good long time to think about what exactly you want, if you still want me I will still be here waiting, if you decided you want Amanda I will be recovered enough to support you as a friend, but I am not just going to sit idly by as we make each other self-destruct." I said Ian had tears on his face when he turned and walked away. In my mind I believed my face shared the same look as his as I walked back inside.