Date: Fri, 16 Jul 2010 05:28:33 -0700 (PDT)
From: Lori Borgaard <lborgaard@yahoo.com>
Subject: Starlight in the Heavens - 2 [gay male: sf or fantasy]

Sean


     I stare at the phone in my hand for a long while, missing his voice.
This is all becoming so unbearable.  In the beginning, it was like this.
We could hardly stand to be in a separate room, but it got easier with
time.  We were able to carry on almost normal lives.  He had his job and I
had mine.  If you could call it a job.  Babysitting lawyers and
accountants, that's what I call it.

     Now, I can't bear our time away.  I'm only whole with him next to me.

     I step out onto the balcony and sit with a cup of coffee.  My eyes are
continuously drawn to Jenna's house as I remember Josh and me in the
beginning.

     ***

     "Who are they, Sean?"

     He was asking again.  The same question, always the same question.

     "Why?"

     I was comfortable with my head resting on his shoulder and combed my
fingers through his sparse chest hair.  I nestled in closer and licked the
skin around his nipple.  He groaned and shifted to his side, grabbing my
chin to look me in the eye.

     "Sean.  Please.  Who are they?"

     Distraction no longer worked.  I sighed and closed my eyes.

     "Estate attorneys."

     I felt his body stiffen and heard his breathing quit, so I rolled to
my back and stared up at the ceiling.

     "My parents put me in their will as the executor of their estate and
now everyone wants a piece of me."

     "But...I thought you had a falling out with your parents."

     "Oh, I did.  I guess they just didn't think far enough in advance to
change their will before they decided to drive off a cliff."

     I couldn't believe how much the whole thing hurt again.

     "My parents had plans for me.  I was to marry the daughter of one of
their prominent friends and I fucked it up for them when I told them no.
It got worse when I told them why.  I wouldn't then or ever marry a girl.
The whole thought repulsed me.  They yelled, they screamed, they
threatened, but I wouldn't budge.  In the end, they kicked me out.  Said to
not bother coming back, that they no longer had an older son."

     I heard the bitterness in my voice and tried to choke down the sobs as
I continued.  Josh scooted over and half covered my body, kissed my cheek
and combed through my hair.

     "That's when I left and came to the beach.  I met Mandy and she took
me in.  I was going to go into life guard training when I saw the story
about my parents' accident on the news.  After that, the fun started."

     "Matthews.  I never put two and two together."  Josh wiped the tears
from my eyes with a corner of the sheet.  "You have a younger brother and
sister, don't you?"

     I sighed, "Yeah, twins."

     "How do they feel about you?"

     I shrugged.  "I don't know.  I haven't seen them since before the blow
up.  I don't even know if they know I'm gay."

     "Sean, you need to call and take care of them."

     Fresh tears flowed and I curled up into him.  "I don't know if I can.
What if they see me the same way?"

     "Then they're idiots and don't deserve to have you as a brother."

     I giggled.  I couldn't help it.  Call it a defense mechanism, but I
got a bad case of the giggles.

     I don't know if Josh understood it or thought I was nuts, but he
wrapped himself around me and held on until I exhausted myself.

     Once calm, I took a deep breath.

     "Okay, I'll call them in the morning."

     "Sean?  Would you like me to go with you when you meet up with these
people?"

     I couldn't believe it.  I just hugged him closer and started crying
again.

     "You know I will.  You don't have to go alone.  You understand that
don't you?"

     And he did.  We met with the attorneys together and when they tried to
confuse me with all the lawyer talk, he set them straight.  Every step of
the way, Josh stuck to my side.  We were never apart and when he met the
twins, Mark and Lizbeth, they were just as enamored with him as he was with
them.  They told me they'd always known I was gay, that our parents would
have too if they'd bothered to pay attention.

     Of course, leave it up to attorneys to make things more difficult than
necessary.  It took almost seven years to get everything split up, nailed
down, and settled.  Seven years of babysitting attorneys and accountants.
But through it all, Josh never once left my side, other than when his own
job took his time.

     ***

     My coffee cup is empty.  How long have I been out here?  Check the
time.  Oh shit, it's after eleven and I haven't talked to Jenna yet.  In a
mad rush, I throw on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and dash out the door.

     My hands are shaking as I knock on Jenna's door.  I've never been
nervous when coming here before.  What's so different now?

     She opens the door and moves aside to let me in.

     "Hi, Sean.  Come on in.  I guess the time has come."

     What?  I step inside and she closes the door.

     Without preamble I begin.  "Jenna, Josh and I would like your company
this afternoon."

     "Have a seat, Sean."  She waves me over to a recliner and sits in the
sofa across from it.  "How long have you been dreaming?"

     I just sit there and stare at her as she gives me a slight smile.

     "Things are not always as they seem, love.  Tell me.  How long?"

     "Umm, since the day you moved in."

     She seems surprised by my answer.  "So soon?"

     I nod and listen to the sound of Josh's car pulling into the drive.

     "What time would you like me?"

     Quickly standing, I head for the door.  I need Josh, have to have him.
"One o'clock."

     I can't wait to hear whether or not she's going to be there.  I have
to get to Josh.  I race back to the house, hearing his cries as he looks
for me.

     In the door, up the steps, yanking the t-shirt off and peeling out of
my jeans as I go.  I jump into his arms and wrap my legs around his waist.

     "I need you Josh.  Please, I need you in me now.  Now!"

     His slacks off, I drop down onto him.  Pain, then I'm complete.  Whole
once again.

     ***

     It's 12:00, Jenna will be here in an hour.  Josh is lying next to me,
staring into my eyes and running his fingers through my hair.  He leans in
and kisses me.  Just a light brush of his lips, but I feel the stir in my
belly and through my cock.  No one can ignite the passion in me like he can
with just the gentlest of touches.  I roll him to his back and press my
mouth to his as I straddle him.  Slipping my tongue in, I hear myself moan
as he sucks it in farther.

     His dick is pulsing against me, hard against my own.  As I move to his
ear, his throat, his chest, he struggles to speak.

     "Oh Sean.  I need you.  Make love...to me.  Fill...me...need you...to
fill...me."

     I reach his cock and find it covered, thick with our combined precum
and use it as lube slicking it off and pressing it into his waiting hole.
With his legs lifted over my shoulders and the head of my aching dick
pressed close, he surprises me by lifting his hands over his head and
pushing against the headboard, impaling himself quick and clean.

     "Aaaah, yes."

     Okay, that had to hurt.  Josh doesn't do bottom often.  But he starts
grinding down, pushing and raising himself with his hands at the head
board.

     His moans grow loader as I match his movements.  Pushing in deeper, I
change direction a little bit and hit his prostate causing a gasp and then
he really begins to move.  My God, who's fucking who?  The muscles in his
legs go rigid and I let out a shout as his ass pulls me in, milking me dry
and ribbons of cum shoot up his chest.

     Starlight.  Everywhere in my vision, there's starlight.

     I collapse onto him as he spreads his legs and lets them fall.  I feel
his strong hands pull me up to lay against his chest, slick with his seed.
We rest there until it becomes prudent to get up, shower, and dress for
company.









Jenna



     It was time.  If I was to be honest with myself, it was past time.
They were pure souls, given to one another, and they needed to understand
the pain they felt at separation.

     Dreams since our day of meeting.  Never, had the dreams begun so soon.
But then, had I ever before come across a binding such as this?  Had I ever
before come across such open souls?

     Head shaking, I look at the reflection of the woman staring back at
me.  She is average, just as she should be.  Average height, average build,
nothing to unnecessarily draw the eye.  Yet, their dreams began the day
they met her.

     I try to remember what had transpired in our first meeting, but it's
fuzzy.  Nothing is really clear.  Except.  Half and complete.  My eyes grow
wide as the memory of my first words makes itself known.  I stare into the
mirror and watch the change to the eyes looking back.

     "Half and complete."

     It is what they are.  Or rather, what they were.  Half when alone,
complete when together.

     The eyes grow brighter, the prisms pushing their colors out, into the
glass and shining back.  The reflection in the mirror changes and I see his
face.  His face, her face, my face.

     Starlight.

     Oh, for it to be night.  I wish to see the faces of my loved ones.  I
wish to dance, to rise in the night sky, and be joined by those that have
gone before me.  Such beautiful souls, so full of promise.  Extinguished by
a world of bigotry and hatred.  A world where difference is ignored or
snuffed out, even though it is everywhere around.  Each snowflake different
from the next.  This world thrives on difference and it is being torn apart
by the ones that would seek to shape and force all to singular conformity.

     A bitter laugh escapes me at the thought of this world conformed.
Such fools.  They would rip their own hearts out if they were ever to truly
meet their maker.

     Enough.  The time has come.

     I see the reflection of the woman staring back at me.  I will show
them what I am.  I will show them what they are.  And our journey together
will begin.

     "Jenna, are you sure?  Are they strong enough?  Is their bond pure
enough?"

     I close my eyes and answer with a smile.  "I am sure."

     ***

     As the door opens, I'm greeted by Joshua.

     "Hey, Jenna.  I'm glad you could come.  Would you like some tea or
soda?"

     He's nervous, sending quick, furtive glances toward the kitchen as he
leads me into the living room.  It is hard for him to have Sean out of his
sight.

     "Do you think I could have a brandy?"

     "Oh."

     He stops walking and stares at me as I sit in the corner of the sofa
and pull my legs up.  He's never seen me drink anything but tea, water, or
soda and assumptions do run rampant in this world. The shock on his face is
rather comical.

     "It's okay Joshua.  I am of age."

     "I'm sorry," he says with a shake of his head.  "I didn't think you
drank."

     "I don't...usually."

     The look he gives me is both understanding and confused.  Interesting.
I wonder just how much these two will figure out on their own.

     "Okay, brandy."

     He leaves for the kitchen and I turn around to rest my head on the arm
of the sofa.  I want to see my front lawn from their house.  I wish I could
remember the day I moved in better.  It might explain why their dreams
started so soon.

     "Jenna?"

     I turn back to face the living room and take a snifter from Sean.

     "I hope apricot is okay.  Josh doesn't drink brandy and I'm afraid I
have a sweet tooth."

     "Apricot will be just fine.  Thanks."

     Mmm, this is sweet.  I hold a small sip of brandy in my mouth and
close my eyes.  I can see and taste so many different things in this single
small bit.  The fruit, the tree, the earth in which the tree is planted,
sugar, yeast, water.  I swallow and smell the fragrance of the brandy in
the snifter and in my breath.  I can feel the warmth of the alcohol
spreading through my body.  It is similar but opposite the warmth of love.
This warmth flows out through my fingertips, love flows in and rests in the
soul.

     I can feel Sean's eyes resting on my face.  He understands the taste
of the brandy, though I doubt to the same extent.

     "What do you see?"

     I open my eyes when he doesn't answer.  He has his own brandy, so I
nod at his snifter.

     "Taste it, and tell me.  What do you see?"

     He takes a small taste and, as I did, closes his eyes and lets it sit
on his tongue.  Joshua comes in with a glass of red wine and sits in a
recliner, watching Sean carefully.  Sean swallows and answers.

     "Color.  Amber, gold, green."

     "And what do you feel?"

     "It's warm.  Makes my fingers tingle."

     Opening his eyes he asks, "Why?"

     "I want you to do the same thing.  Only this time, with Joshua."

     "He doesn't like brandy."

     "No.  Joshua, stand behind him.  Hold him close to you."

     There is an immediate change in their faces, in the color of their
skin, in their very posture as Joshua's arms wrap around Sean.  No tension,
no nervous jitters.  Sean again takes a taste of the brandy.  He closes his
eyes and leans his head back against Joshua, fitting in perfectly beneath
his chin.  Joshua kisses the top of his head and I see something I hadn't
before.

     "Starlight."

     My eyes snap back to Sean's face.

     "Orchard.  Night sky.  Running brook.  Child."

     His grip on the snifter is loosening.  I can see it begin to slip.
Joshua takes it from his hand and pulls him over to the recliner.

     Settled in with Sean now sleeping against his shoulder, Joshua looks
at me.

     "Jenna, what's going on?"

     Again, I see what I missed before.

     "The day we met.  What happened?"

     "What do you mean?  You were there."

     "Yes, but it isn't clear to me.  I remember meeting Jack, loading
furniture and such on his truck and leading him here.  I remember starting
to unload the truck and then it starts to get fuzzy, very unclear.  I fell,
then you were helping me to the porch."

     Incredulous, Joshua stares at me.

     "You don't remember him throwing your stuff out of the truck?
Practically dumping your sofa down on top of you?  How could you forget
something like that?"

     "Why would he do that?"

     "Hell if I know.  You said he didn't like your answer.  I figured he
made a play for you and got pissed off when you said no."

     "A play."  Things were starting to come together.

     "Yeah, a play.  You know, tried to force himself on you.  Maybe he
copped a feel and you pushed him away."

     "He touched me!  He kissed me!"  Now it all made sense.  "No wonder it
was unclear.  A dirty soul.  When you came to help, was there any time that
both you and Sean touched me at the same time?"

     "Yes?"

     "Half and complete."  Sean's eyes flutter open and he turns to face
me.  "That's what you said.  And your eyes were starlight."

     My eyes were starlight?

     "I remembered the words earlier today.  It is what you are, no, what
you were.  Half apart and complete together.  It is the reason for your
dreams.  It is the reason for your need, other than the obvious."

     "The obvious?"

     Now why would this statement confuse Joshua?

     "Are you not in love?  Do not all in love need each other?  Yes, the
obvious."

     "Alright, but what about the obsession we have for you?  Why do we
dream about you?  Not that you're not pretty, but you're not exactly our
type."

     Oh this is too funny.  I can't help but laugh.

     "Joshua, you have no idea just how true that statement is.  There is
not a human in this world that would place me as their type.  I am not what
you see."

     Joshua pulls Sean closer to his chest.  He is protecting him,
shielding him.  From what?  I can see he doesn't yet know.  All he knows is
that to lose Sean would be to lose himself.

     "What are you?"

     I can hear the stress of fear in his voice and it makes me a little
sad.  There was a time when those like me were not feared but welcomed.
Our touch brought joy and completion to their unions.  That was before the
need for dominion overcame the need for love and acceptance.

     "I am many things."  Another taste of brandy.  He said he could see a
child.  "I am what is needed for those who wish to accept me.  For you, I
am the binder of your souls."

     "No.  We were one long before you came."

     "Mmm, to a point."

     I set my glass down to free my hands.  They will be needed to show
them.  They glow, both blue but one light and the other dark.

     Joshua's eyes grow wide as he watches, but oddly, Sean stays very
calm.  In fact, he draws himself up and curls gently in under Joshua's
chin, and sighs.  Can it be, he already knows what I am about to show them?

     "This is what you were before I came."  I hold my hands apart.
"Half."  I put my hands together, lacing my fingers.  The blue combines,
joining and blending at my fingers.  "And complete."  As I pull my hands
apart, the color separates into two distinct shades again.

     "Do you see?"

     Joshua nods and absently brushes his cheek against Sean's hair.  It's
there again and I pause to watch as wisps of silver stretch out into the
air.  Bringing myself back to my explanation, I again lace my fingers.

     "This is you now."  The blue is again combined, but as I pull my hands
apart, the color does not separate.  It stretches and grows tight, visibly
pulling my hands together again.  "This is the pain you feel.  The
incomprehensible need you have to be connected."

     "There is more."

     His voice is soft, gentle, almost a whisper and it causes an instant
reaction in Joshua.  I can say or do nothing as he races up the stairs with
Sean held firm in his grasp.

**************************

Your comments are welcome to lborgaard@yahoo.com