Date: Thu, 14 Apr 2011 16:52:12 -0700 (PDT)
From: Danny DeWinter` <dannydewinter@yahoo.com>
Subject: Stuck in amber part 4

      Stuck in Amber
      By Danny deWinter
      All rights reserved/ This is a work of non-fiction
      Contact me at: dannydewinter@yahoo.com


      Part VI- Robert's Room


      We horsed around a bit and then stepped out of the pool to air dry.
The other boys seemed busy with whatever they were doing: playing cards,
reading, a couple of them were playing sand volleyball.  I tried to ask
Robert a couple of questions but he just shook his head.  When we were dry
he said, "Let's figure out where you're going to room." And we set off
across the huge lawn back to the house.  He took me in through a different
door that opened into a comfortable den with all the cool stuff anyone
could ever want.  Big screen TV (that was on ESPN and a couple of guys were
watching some college football game) pool table, pinball machines, all
three game systems were just a few of the things I spotted.  Robert didn't
slow down and we passed through the room and into a long hallway.  When I
say hallway, don't think of some narrow, dark passage.  One side was all
windows with sunlight streaming in onto dark soft carpeting with geometric
patterns.  This hallway was at least 15 feet wide with furniture and
paintings and weird artwork all along the other wall.  Every so often there
would be a doorway.  Some were open showing nice bedrooms, some were
closed.  I had no idea where we were in relation to Collin's room or even
the dining room.

      Eventually, the hallway opened into a wider sitting room with a
fireplace and fancy couches.  Robert kept walking; this place was gigantic,
more like a hotel than a house.  Finally he stopped at a closed door.
"This is my room." He said.  "The door will open for me, and anyone I say
can come in, and Collin, of course."  There wasn't any visible lock or
anything and he turned the knob and went inside.  This bedroom was bigger
than my parent's master bedroom in my house at home.  It had two large
beds, a couch, and a desk (with a lap top).  Through an open door I could
see a bathroom, not as fancy as Collins, but still very nice.  The ceiling
was very high and painted with designs.  The draperies and pillows and
stuff were all gold and deep red.  All this fancy stuff didn't stop Robert
from jumping on the bed and bouncing a few times.  With a smile he motioned
me to jump on with him and we bounced till all the bedding was on the
floor.  This turned into a pillow fight and we both ended up wrestling
around on the bed.  I was amazed how strong he was, I mean he was like
maybe 10 but he could easily pin me down, and I'm nearly 14.  I realized
that I really had to start working out if I was going to keep up.

      At one point in our wrestling he started grinding his crotch against
me.  His little boner was poking me all over.  Until that moment I hadn't
even noticed he was hard and I wasn't anywhere near getting hard, I was
just trying to keep him from making me look like a weakling.  Before I
could worry about it he jumped off and dashed into the bathroom.  I could
hear him peeing so I got up and stood by the door, ready to surprise him
when he came back out.  I found myself staring into a full length mirror.

      All day I'd been looking at all these awesome boys, tan and muscular,
huge dicks like porn stars.  I couldn't help looking at myself.  Short (for
my age), thin and pale, my straight dark brown hair was too long and hung
heavily.  I had to constantly move it out of my eyes.  My eyes, light
blue-green with long dark lashes and very "pretty" I've been told.
Finally, a straight pointed nose and lips that are too red and too full for
a boy, stared back at me.  I definitely did not look like the other guys
here.  The best thing I had going for me was that my dick had recently
grown enough that, next to my skinny frame, it looked bigger than it should
(even when soft).

      My mom's friends had always made cracks about my "girlish"
appearance, which made me pretty angry.  I think, if I had given them the
chance, they would have dressed me up in girls clothes just to see how I'd
look.  I always tried to wear clothes that were not in any way ambiguous,
but people would still get confused.  They'd call me honey or sweetheart,
ugh!  And my voice, well it won't be long till it changes, I hope.  People
still mistake me for my mom on the phone.

      I mean, I knew that I was somewhat good looking- I recently started
noticing that girls would be staring at me for no reason.  Sometimes it was
weird, like on an airplane, I would catch them turned around in their seats
just looking at me and if I made eye contact they would turn around
quickly, but then they'd be doing it again a few minutes later.  Some were
younger than me but some were older too.  I asked my mom about it but she
got so weird and mushy that I changed the subject.  I totally didn't get it
at all!

      As I finished examining myself in the mirror, it occurred to me that
all the other boys in the collection were a lot more macho, which made me
feel even more wussy especially here, with no clothes on.  By this time
Robert was out of the bathroom and caught me staring at myself in the
mirror.  "I really need to start working out, is there a gym here?  And
look, I'm not even sunburned and we've been out all day - when will I have
a tan like you guys?"  I said, mostly because I didn't want Robert to think
I was in love with myself or anything.

      "You came straight here, didn't you?" he asked.

      "From the pool?  Sure?" I said.  I had no idea what he was talking
about.

      "No, Collin brought you straight here, you didn't stop anywhere for a
while?"  Robert said it like a question, but the way he was staring at me
made me feel freakish.

      "I don't know what you mean?" I finally responded.

      "What were you doing before you were collected?"  Robert's eyes were
wide and curious.

      "I was," gee it seemed so long ago, was it only yesterday? "I was in
a car accident; Collin just appeared and asked me to go with him, to be
part of his collection.  I said yes and then we were here."  I started was
having a hard time remembering exactly what happened after that, although I
did give a guy a blow job a few minutes ago, didn't I?  Did I really do
that?  In front of all those guys?  I mean, I could taste his come in my
mouth still!  Robert interrupted my self- reflection.

      "Wow, you're the only one then.  The rest of us spent time, usually
many weeks, someplace else.  Most of us were badly injured and spent time
in hospital, then recovery, training, working out, getting tan...  He won't
let boys come here till their perfect, no bruises, no zits, no scratches.
He didn't let me jack off for five days, you know, for maximum horniness!
But you came right here, non-stop?  Wait, wait a second, you don't know
yet, do you?"  He was still staring at me like I was from outer space.

      "Know what?"  I said.  I didn't know whether to be angry or curious.

      "When you're here, at the villa, you don't change.  At all.  Ever.
There's no gym because it wouldn't do anything to us.  I'm no more tan than
I was when I got here. No taller, no fatter, no illness, no sunburn, no
injury... exactly the same as when I got here years and years ago..."

      "Wait, okay, then why did Kyle put sun screen on me?" I asked.

      "Dude, that wasn't sunscreen.  I thought you knew, it was just lube,
to get you, you know, worked up."  He said, shaking his head.  He kept
looking me up and down, he turned me around and looked at my back.  "Bend
over." He said.  "Your ass, does it still hurt from last night?" He was
looking at my crack but he didn't touch me.

      I realized it didn't hurt a bit.  "No, why?"  I replied.

      "Yeah, I can see, it looks like you've never had anything up there
ever." He said snickering.  But he stopped suddenly and said, "Wait,
wait... before you came here, last night...holy cow!  Before last night,
had you ever been fucked?"  I shook my head.  He said with awe, "Had you
ever sucked a dick, or had your dick sucked..."  I shook my head again.
"You were a virgin?  Until you got here, last night, you were a complete
and total virgin?"

      "I guess so." I said.

      "You don't get it, holy cow.  He brought you right here, directly
here because you're a virgin."

      "Well, but, didn't I, didn't Collin...." I said sheepishly but I
realized I couldn't really remember what exactly happened last night, with
Collin, "and I had some fun this afternoon with you guys."  In the mirror I
could see my whole body turning red.

      "Oh, man, that's just it.  Last night doesn't count.  Either does
today.  No one here changes.  You're still a virgin and you always will be,
as long as you're here!  No wonder you sucked David at the pool so
willingly.  Sex, you don't get it, do you?"

      Robert was starting to piss me off.  "Of course I get sex.  I've
watched videos and read stories and seen a lot of pictures.  I know what
it's all about, even if I haven't actually done it- till today..."

      "Of course sex is about making your dick feel good, but sex isn't
only about pleasure, it's also about power.  The power you have to make
others feel good, the power you have to turn them on, the power they have
if you're so horny you can't stop yourself from doing something you know is
probably wrong... you have no idea what I'm talking about do you?"

      "Uh, well..."  He was right; of course, I had no idea what he was
talking about.

      "Did you ever even feel guilty when you jacked off?  Wait, did you
get embarrassed when someone caught you, or when you were looking at porn,
or got caught in the locker room with a hard-on?"

      "Caught when?" I was confused.  "My dad say that jacking off was what
all boys did, but I never let anyone catch me?"  I said.

      He was just gaping at me.  "Okay, when was the last time you jacked
off?"

      "Heck, I don't know.... wait, uh, okay... my cousins have been over
for the past few days, there are three of them, boys, and my aunt was
having surgery.  We were on the way home from dropping them off when the
accident happened.  They haven't given me one moment's privacy since they
got to my house... no wonder I'm so horny, it's been almost a week! I had
to bathe them and everything..."

      "You didn't have sex with your cousins?"  He chided.

      "No, of course not." I blurted.

        Robert just smirked at me.

       Well, I thought about it, but I never touched them, honest!"  I
stammered.

      "You didn't touch them?"  He was still smiling.

      "Well, I cleaned them in the bath tub with a wash rag.  But that was
it!  They're little kids, five, six, and seven."  I was feeling myself get
red again.  And hard.

      "Did their dicks go hard when you rubbed them?  Did you wash their
little butts?  I'll bet you had to explain the big tent in your shorts,
right?"  Robert said.  He stared into my face, then finally he whispered
huskily, "I'm only nine you know."  He was getting hard now too.

      I thought back to just a day ago, it seemed like years had passed.  I
began to explain to Robert.  My cousins are pretty wild kids.  They're all
blondes with short buzz- cut hair.  They seem to never stop moving, from
the minute they get up till they fall dead asleep.  They are also
inseparable; they move as one, all sticky hands and stomping feet.  They're
home schooled, I think that's why they are so close.

      The first night they stayed with us my mom tried to give them a bath.
After a few minutes of shouting and splashing, she yelled for me to help.
When I arrived in the bathroom there was water everywhere and my mom was
soaked and beet red.  I don't know if it was from the mess or what the boys
were doing.  They all had stiffies and were rubbing against one another,
all over, and giggling while they did it.  "You're a boy, you take care of
this." My mom had yelled and stomped out of the bathroom.  I stripped off
my shirt and found two of the old oven-mitt-style wash rags we had from
when I was a kid.  The boys were so funny, god I never would have gotten a
boner with my mom in the bathroom!  Once I got the mitts soapy I just
washed any body part that came within reach.  At one point they all stood
up and bent over so I could wash their little cracks; they seemed to love
it. It was pretty amusing and yes I did get a boner too.

      Every night was like that.  I definitely looked forward to it, but I
never did anything I shouldn't have.  They even spent the last night (night
before last) in my bed and we all snuggled up together, in our underwear.
They kept rubbing against me and pressing into me and laying all over me.
I had a hard-on the entire night, but I didn't dare touch it, I mean they
were laying right there!  Thinking back, I believe they were rubbing each
other through their shorts.  A couple of times at night I felt their little
hands brush against my boxers, I kept rolling from one side to the other, I
didn't want to be a perv or anything.  In the morning they even barged in
on me while I was peeing away my morning wood (or trying to).  They seemed
very interested in my big stiffy, but I just stuffed it away and put on
clothes quick.

      When we dropped them off at their house, they jumped me and pulled me
to the floor.  They piled on and gave me hugs and kisses all over my face
and neck.  I went harder than hell and had to do a lot of quick adjusting
before I could stand up!  Looking back I'm surprised that the pre-cum
didn't leak right through my jeans, I mean I'd been hard for days, without
relief!  It's definitely the longest time I've gone without jerking since I
was twelve.  Anyway, we were coming back from dropping them off at their
house when we got into the accident.  The accident.  My mother.  I felt
myself tearing up.

      "Sorry now, that you didn't give in to temptation?"  Robert gave me a
hug.  "It's okay, I'm just kidding."

      "No, I, my mom..." I started.  But I was blubbering now.  He was
hugging me tighter.  His body felt so warm against mine.  I could feel
myself melting into him. He was younger than me but I still felt so
comforted in his arms.  Nine years old but a lot more mature than me!  He
leaned up a bit and kissed me right on the lips.

      "Whoa, why did I do that?" he asked.

      "It's okay, I kinda liked it."  I said shyly.

      He pushed me away roughly and I almost fell.  "I just don't get it.
You're totally making me crazy.  One minute I want to protect you and keep
you safe.  The next I want to rape your ass, and force you on your knees to
suck my cock.  You're so damn soft and innocent."

      I stopped crying as he stared deeply into my eyes as if searching for
answers.  "Your youngest cousin was five?  By the time I was five I was
already taking men's fat cocks up my ass and loving it.  Everyone at the
mansion learned about sex at a very early age, way before we met Collin.  I
thought that's why we were chosen.  We were all schooled in advanced sexual
techniques before we were brought here.  Lots of times I have sex four or
five times a day or more with lots of different guys and it was great."  He
shook his head and grabbed me again.  "I don't understand.  Why do you make
me feel so weird?  Like I'm dirty; but then you look at me- - like that,
what you're doing right now-- and I feel so wonderful."  He was continuing
to stare into my eyes so intently; I didn't know what to say.  I leaned
forward toward his lips but he leaned away.

      "You have to understand- We, boys don't kiss here, it's... gay." He
said solemnly.  He looked away and then back into my eyes and kissed me
again.  I kissed him back.  It felt good.  It was just incredible that this
kid, littler than me, felt so strong and powerful.  Weird.  I could feel
myself bone up and at the same time I felt his little boner pressing
against my stomach.  Kissing is gay, but all this other sex stuff isn't?
This whole place was just too weird.

      I surprised myself (and Robert) by suddenly pushing him down onto the
bed and tickling him all over.  He was especially ticklish under his arms
and along his ribs.  He laughed so hard that he couldn't push me off till
finally he put his knee right up between my ass cheeks and pushed, hard.  I
froze for a moment and then he turned the tables on me by easily tossing me
over on my back.  I am incredibly ticklish and he started in on me like he
did it for a living.  In twenty seconds I was ready to pee my pants (had I
been wearing a pair).  "Stop, stop!" I giggled hysterically.

      "Make me." was Robert's laughing reply.

      "No, please, I'm gonna pee.  Really!"  I gasped.  He wasn't letting
up.  "It'll get on you."  He was sitting right on my crotch and there was
no way he wouldn't get wet.

      "If you piss on me, I'll make you lick it off, seriously."  He
scowled at me but I could see his eyes were smiling.

      "The bed will get wet.  Please, stop."  I was begging now.

      He responded, "Won't be the first time." And as if to prove it he let
go a stream right onto my chest.  It wasn't a whole lot, I mean he just
peed a few minutes ago, but I still couldn't believe it.  This boy was
peeing on my chest.  Warm piss was running down my neck and since I was
laughing so hard- my mouth was open after all, he wiggled his butt forward
to shoot directly into my mouth.  I was bouncing around a bit so he stopped
tickling with one hand and used it to aim his dick at my face.  I clamped
my mouth shut hard and laughed around my almost closed lips.  The
wet-warmth and the tickling was too much and I felt myself start to go too.
At the same time Robert managed to get some pee right in my nose which
caused me to sputter and open my mouth again.  Yuck!  In my mouth!  I had a
lot more water in me and the way my dick was pointed it went all over me
and on to Robert's back and legs and butt like a fountain.

      He stopped tickling as the last of his pee dribbled out.  I was still
hosing myself down so I started crying.  I couldn't help it.  "I'm sorry."
I blubbered.  "I wet your bed."

      "Aw, man, and you pissed on me.  Look at this I have your piss all
over my legs." He mocked.  Gimmie a break!  This was coming from a boy that
just pissed in my nose and mouth?  I didn't know why I was crying.  It was
his fault, he started it and I told him to stop!

      "Who's gonna clean this up?" he said with mock sternness.  I just
cried harder.  Then more softly he said, "Danny stop it, guy, I'm
kidding. You don't have to lick it up.  I was joking.  Geeze."  He leaned
down and put his forehead against mine.  "You don't have to cry, it was
supposed to be funny, heck it's only piss."  His eyes twinkled as he said,
"Some guys like this.  Once a man paid me ten cents to pee all over him."

      That made me stop sobbing and start to laugh.  "Really?"  I asked.

      "Yup, ten cents, he even drank some!  Ewww."  He laughed as he saw me
taste the inside of my mouth and lick my lips.

      "I think I just did too.  It's not too bad, I guess."  I smiled
shyly.

      Robert just stared into my eyes.  Finally he shook his head as if
coming out of a trance.  "God what is it about you that is so dang... I
don't know.  I just want to... You're just so...  heck, I don't know,
likeable."  I thought he was going to kiss me but he broke eye contact and
started drawing pictures in the pee on my chest with his index finger
-little circles and squiggly lines.

      Finally after a moment he looked at me very intently his little lips
pursed tightly.  "I have to ask you something; no I have to tell you
something." He started.  He seemed so serious I knew it must be important.
He waited, looking down again at my chest and wiping his fingers.  He
looked from side to side like someone might be watching or listening, but
there was no one in his room but us and the door was closed.

       I knew he would say whatever he needed to when he was good and
ready, so I stayed quiet and watched him draw.  He was biting his lower
lip.  What was he going to say, maybe the key to what we were doing here?
What I was doing here, Collin the whole thing?
      He finally blurted, without being able to make eye contact with me,
"I, I... like you, do you like me?"

      I would have laughed, but his face was so solemn and he had a little
frown on his pursed lips.  His eyes flicked to mine for the briefest
instant before looking down again.  I didn't get it, this self-assured boy,
so strong and wise, cares if I like him or not?  I'm glad I didn't crack a
smile.  I mean it did sound like something a nine year old would say,
right?  I didn't know how to reply or what it would mean. I was worried he
would think I didn't like him if I waited too long to answer.

      "Sure, sure I like you, a lot." I said truthfully.  "We should be
friends."  I added, oblivious to the significance of any of this.  Although
I did realize he was drawing little hearts in the pee on my chest.  Both
gross and nice at the same time, weird huh?

	When he looked into my eyes the smile that lit up his face was
absolutely stunning.  He seemed to just glow with radiant energy.  I
thought for a moment he was literally going to pop inside out.  He just
stared into my eyes for what seemed like a very long time.

      "I guess I could be friends... with someone who peed-- in my mouth."
I finally said, just to break the tension.  It worked because he just
started laughing, wiped up some pee puddled on my chest with his index
finger.  Stuck it right in my mouth, and wiped it across my tongue.

      "It's only piss."  He said.  Then he bent down and lapped some up
from the hollow of my neck.  He pulled his finger out of my mouth with a
pop and stuck his tongue right in.  Frankly, I never realized that urine
could be this much fun, and it didn't taste so bad, really, just kind of
salty. He pressed his face to mine and licked all around the inside of my
mouth.  Not so much a French kiss, but more like someone who was licking
the inside of a bowl to get the last bit of ice cream.  Even his tongue was
stronger than mine as I fought with it in my mouth.

      When he finally stopped (not that I really wanted him too) he asked,
"You want to take a bath or a shower?"  He was bouncing on my chest with
exuberance.  His butt was making squishing sounds in the now cooling pee.
I noticed he was as hard as I was, but when wasn't I hard?

      "A real shower, or another golden shower?" I asked jokingly.

      "Geeze, what kind of a pervert are you?"  He taunted.  "If you want
me to piss on you again, you'll just have to wait till I drink some more
beer."

      "No, I... That's not what I meant!" I sputtered.

      "Dang, you are so gullible." He laughed.  He slid off me with and ran
into the bathroom wiggling his butt and waving me to follow.  I closed the
door behind us.  The shower stall was easily large enough for both of us
and Robert turned the water on hot.  Soon the bathroom was steamy and my
back and legs were lobster red.  We took turns scrubbing each other.  I
took my time washing his tight body, running my soapy hands all over his
chest and balls and ass, and of course, his stiffy.  I could tell he liked
it but it he didn't make a move to go any further and, when he washed me,
he was thorough but not particularly gentle.

      He had the same kind of blow dryer set up in his bathroom as Collin
did, so we didn't need to towel off.  When we emerged from the bath, the
bed that was all messy (and wet) was now remade with fancy comforter and
all the pillows back in place.

      "How..." I started.

      "I told you not to worry about it."  Was Robert's reply.  "In this
house if you leave a room, by the time you come back it's clean.  How else
would a house full of boys stay nice?"  Robert began to stretch and bend
like his muscles were stiff which gave me an idea.
      "Hey, do you want me to give you a back rub?" I asked.

      "What?" He asked.

      "A back rub, I could rub your muscles-- if they're tense." I tried
again.

      "I know what a back rub is; you want to give me one?" He looked at me
suspiciously.

      "Yeah, now that we're friends and all, it would be a friendly thing
to do, right?"  Was this a weird thing to ask?  I didn't get him at all.  I
motioned to the bed and pulled all the fru-fru stuff back onto the floor.
"Just lay face down.  I give great back rubs.  A few years ago, for my
mom's birthday, I bought a DVD on massage and learned how to do it
right. Then whenever she was tense I would give her a backrub.  She liked
that present a lot!"

      As I told the story he just looked at me quizzically.  The look on
his face made me realize that it sounded a bit strange.  "My mom has-- had
a very stressful job."  I said, trying to make the whole thing sound less,
I don't know, weird.  "I rubbed my dad's back too, sometimes." I realized
this wasn't helping.  "Just lay down, Geeze!"  Finally he lay down and I
straddled his legs.

      I know what you're thinking, yes I was hard as a rock, but when am I
not?  I started rubbing his neck and shoulders. His little muscles were
like coiled springs, but I could feel them loosen a bit as I squeezed and
pressed.  I didn't want to use oil since we just got showered, but I know
how to rub without hurting the skin, even dry.

      I did notice that the headboard of the bed and the ceiling were
mirrored so I could watch what I was doing.  Pretty cool.  After a few
minutes he began to sigh and relax.  I really am good at this, although I'd
never massaged a boy before or anyone besides my parents for that matter.
I just closed my eyes and let my hands do their thing.  When I ran my hands
all the way up and down his back, my dick would just touch Robert's cute
little butt. About the third or fourth time this happened, accidently mind
you, I realized that I was probably getting a little pre-cum on him, and I
looked down to see whether I needed to, like, clean him up or whatever.  I
have never given a massage before in the nude, and not while sitting on the
person's bare butt.  Looking down at his beautiful body gave me the most
depraved thoughts.  I looked up into the mirror and I realized that Robert
was watching me.

      "Wow, what was that look?"  He said, smiling.

      "What?" I asked guiltily.

      "You had a look of pure lust on your innocent little face, just
then."  He snickered as I turned every shade of red.  "Whoa, boy, you
looked positively wicked.  Are you rubbing your boner on me, on purpose?"

      "No, I, no, not really..." I started.

      In a flash we had changed positions, with him rolling over on top of
me and pinning both my arms down.

      "We're you planning something here?"  He asked again.

      "No, honestly, I wanted you to feel good.  I uh, not like that
though, just your back, to relax you." I stuttered.  Why did I suddenly
feel like I was in trouble?  He was smiling down at me so I took a chance
and stammered, "Why do you want to, uh...?"  I could see how red my face
was in the mirror on the ceiling.  Not that I needed to see, my whole body
felt hot, and my dick was bobbing with the beat of my heart.

      "We're friends now, and I don't want to spoil it." He said
matter-of-factly.

      "Huh?" I asked more confused than ever.

      "If we have sex, I'll just hurt you." He said.  He was avoiding my
eyes again.

      "I, ... I haven't had much experience, but I think I like it, sex I
mean."  I said urgently.  And more quietly, "I like you too. Besides, you
wouldn't hurt me?"

      "Dude, look at our positions.  I'm on top of you, and you're bigger.
You're older.  You're supposed to be the one on top."  He said,
exasperated.  "You like me on top of you, don't you?  I could do whatever I
wanted to you, couldn't I, and you'd like it.  Don't you see, I've seen and
done a lot of stuff... bad stuff.  I...  you...  I'd feel awful making you
do things I'd regret afterward and I wouldn't be able to stop
myself... cause you just make me feel so...  damn!"

      He leaned down and kissed me hard and long.  I opened my mouth.  When
he finally broke off the kiss he said, "You did that look again.  How the
hell do you do that?  You go from completely innocent to so amazingly sexy
in like one second flat.  I totally understand why Collin collected you;
I'll bet you make everyone feel like this.  It's a wonder someone didn't
rape your ass long ago!  Man if you had been in Boy Scouts like me..."

      He just shook his head, then lowered it so that we were hugging chest
to chest.  He nuzzled my neck with his lips and tongue.  I could smell his
hair.  It was still a little damp from the shower.  I could feel his
hardness pressing into mine.  He let go of my hands and I ran them gently
across his back.  I was so relaxed with him just laying quietly, my hands
running gently over his soft skin.  I could feel his warm breath on my
neck.  My eyes were already half-way closed and I knew he was looking up at
me so I closed my eyes the rest of the way.