Date: Thu, 18 Mar 2010 16:32:08 -0400
From: X X <thewriter_x@hotmail.com>
Subject: The Brotherhood #15 {X} {MM College & Sci-Fi/Fantasy} [15!?]??

The following story contains sexually explicit acts between men.  If such
things bother you, annoy you, disturb you, or frighten you, then why the
hell are you here?  Do yourself a favor and leave before you read something
you like and discover that you're actually gay; you might not be able to
deal with the revelation.

I started a yahoo group for TBH a while back.  It's place where you can get
the latest chapters and talk about the story with other readers if you
like.  As thanks to those who are signed up, I'll be keeping the group one
chapter ahead of Nifty.  So while Nifty is up to date with chapter 15,
chapter 16 will be up on the group (within a week or so of updating Nifty,
give or take a day or do).  So if you want to keep up just sign up here:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theinnercircletbh/

As always, thanks for reading and I'd love to hear your thoughts, good or
bad, on the latest chapter so feel free to write me at: thewriterxx@aol.com


The Brotherhood
Chapter XV


	We just stood there.  Confusion, shock, disbelief and fear pierced
us like the pointy end of a swordsman's weapon.  It was a simple
word...dismissed.  Yet it cut deeper than any knife and burned hotter than
any flame.  I can't tell you what I was thinking.  All I remember was an
empty void, a stillness in my mind I couldn't escape.  It was a bad dream
from which I desperately wanted to wake.

	"This can't be happening..." I never actually heard the words
escape my lips.  Later, when I was told I was the first to speak, I flat
out denied it.

	Arsen took a step forward.  "This has to be some kind of mistake."
He shook his head to clear the fog from his mind.

	"No mistake," Jacob assured him.

	"But why?" CJ asked.

	"I'm afraid it's not open to discussion.  If it's any consolation
you're all being dismissed without prejudice.  If we decide to reopen -"

	"Wait!" Dylan yelled as he bounded from the bottom of the stairs to
the top. "Stop!  No one is going anywhere."

	"What?"  Jacob now sounded as surprised as I did a second ago.
"What do you think you're doing?"  He looked annoyed.  If I didn't know
better, I would've thought he walked over to Dylan to push him down the
stairs.  "This order comes directly from Kyrios.  You don't have the power
to overrule him."

	"And this is not coming from me, Jacob."  Dylan got right up in his
face.  "It comes from Q!"

	The name shot from Dylan's lips like a bullet and Jacob staggered
back as if he'd been hit.  He was as much at a loss for words as we were.
I knew Jacob wasn't one to make things easy.  His silence was short lived,
and as expected, he didn't disappoint.

	"What difference does that make?"
	 "Really Jacob?"  Dylan laughed at Jacob's arrogance.  "Are you
saying Q is insignificant?  Are you really trying to go there?"

	"No! Of course not!  Don't twist my words around.  I'm saying this
does not change the fact that Kyrios ordered this pledge class to be
dismissed."

	"Yes, I know that, but Q countermanded that order not five minutes
ago.  Come on Jacob, you know as well as I do that dismissing an entire
pledge class can only be ordered by the head of the house.  Unless you're
telling me Q himself has been relieved of his obligations, he is still the
head of his house.  His order supersedes all others.  His order stands."

	Jacob remained silent.  I think they forgot we were even there.  It
was the Dylan and Jacob Show playing out before a live audience.  And it
wasn't a comedy. It was a nail-biting drama.  Who was right?  Who had the
rule of law behind them?

	Most importantly, which brother would back down first?

	"Do you really want to do this Dylan?  Do you really want to go
against Kyrios?"

	"Me?"  Dylan placed his hand to his chest and then pointed at
Jacob.  "I'm not doing anything but relaying the message I recieved from
the big man himself.  The better question is, are you prepared to go
against Q?  Think about it."  Turning away, Dylan took a step down the
stairs before stopping.  Without turning to face his fellow brother, he
said, "I'm done here.  Do what you want."

	Placing his hands on the banister, Jacob watched Dylan disappear
down the stairs. He stood silently for a few moments.  Out of nowhere he
slammed his fist on the railing and walked off without saying a word,
leaving us confused about what we were supposed to do. Unsure of our place,
we broke up into two groups and gravitated towards our corners; Mike's
group at his end of the hall and my group ended up in my room.

	"Dude!" was all CJ could muster before crashing on my bed.

	"What I think he's trying to say is this is fucked up!" Paul added.
"What the fuck are they thinking?"  His eyes were dead set on me.

	"Why are you looking at me?  I'm just as clueless as you are."

	"You're Q's little.  He didn't hint at any of this?"

	Laughter exploded from my lips.  "Dumbass, Q may be my Big but that
doesn't mean he runs shit thru me to get my opinion.  Are you insane?
Besides, from what Dylan was saying it doesn't seem like Q's too keen on
the idea so I don't know what the fuck is going on."

	"I guess the bigger question we should be asking is who is going to
win this one, Q or Kyrios?"

	Ant's question was profound and right on point.  It didn't matter
what we thought or what we wanted to happen.  It all came down to those
two.  He put that question out there and it instantly shut us up. No one
said a word for the longest time.  We all sat around contemplating our
future.  As I sat there wondering what life without The Brotherhood would
be like, I couldn't help but wonder what was going thru their minds.

	Life without The Brotherhood.

 	Should that thought really be weighing so heavily on my mind?  What
do I lose?  How would my life by any different then if had I never pledged?

	Yes, Q would be missing from my life and I'd still be stuck with
the banshee queen from hell.  But I had pledged and in a way getting
dismissed could be a blessing in disguise.  It could open up the door for Q
and me to live without the fear of being 'caught.'  So why did the thought
of not becoming a Brother seem so ominous?  The more I thought about it,
the more I realized the answer was simple.  When it came to The Brotherhood
it wasn't about me or Q or the guys.

      I simply felt like I belonged.

      The Brotherhood was more than just a college fraternity.  It was
something greater than all of us, something that made us proud.  It was our
family.  I had no doubt the guys sitting around me would say the same
thing.

      "This fucking blows!"  Steven kicked the wall and was about to do it
again when Ant stopped him.

      "Hey, calm down!  Kicking shit isn't going to solve anything.  You'll
just get us in trouble.  As much as this sucks, we should consider
ourselves lucky."

      "How do you figure that?"

      "Think about it, Steve.  Getting dismissed isn't the worse thing that
could happen.  At least they're not holding it against us."

      "He has a point," I agreed.  "They could ruin us if they wanted.  But
according to Jacob, they're letting us go without any strings."  I was
going to say something more but the soft knock pulled everyone's attention
away.

      One of the twins stood at the door.  "Your Bigs want to see you."

      For a moment no one moved.  We weren't sure if seeing your Big was a
good or bad thing.

      "Today would be nice," the twined added.  One by one my fellow
pledges got up and left, but as I neared the door he stopped me.  "Not you
Jacob.  Q is going tied up right now.  I'm sure once he's available he'll
send for you...if he wants."  He smiled and patted my arm before leaving me
alone in my room.

      It made sense that Q would be indisposed at the moment.  I figured
his conversation with Kyrios would be more than a five minute thing.  But I
have to admit, I felt left out.  I lied on my bed wondering what everyone
was hearing and hoped they'd return with big ass smiles on their faces.

      I didn't want to dwell on it too much, I'd just go nuts.  In my
attempt to concentrate on something else, I dozed off for a few minutes.
That was a big mistake.  My dreams consisted of killer cupcakes, dancing
ducks and shadows that fluttered just out reach.  I remember smelling
candy.  Even while I slept ~ or at least I think I was still asleep ~ I got
the feeling I was being watched.  I opened my eyes suddenly to see the
prince boy standing at the door, staring at me.  A normal person would have
jumped two feet but, for whatever reason, I wasn't fazed by him standing
there in all his creepiness.

      I sat up and waited for him to say something. He never said word.

      "Um...hello."  I figured someone had to break the ice.

      "Hey," he said, crossing his arms over his chest.

      As insightful as his introduction was, I really was expecting more.
Especially, since he went to the trouble of coming to my room so he could
stand at my door and stare at me like I owed him money.  "I'm sorry, is
there something I can help you with?"

      "I believe so," he said and walked into the room.  "I need you to
take me to the Oracle."

      "The who?"

      "The Oracle."  He genuinely appeared to be perplexed as to why I
looked confused.  "The Wise One.  The mother of reason and harmony.  You
have been in her presence."

      I didn't have the slightest idea what the hell he was talking about.
"I'm sorry I think you've got the wrong person.  I don't know anybody's
mother or any Oracles for that matter..."  The word 'Oracle' got me
thinking and it finally clicked.  "Unless you're talking about the crazy
fortuneteller down in the village."

      "Fortuneteller?" he mused, as if it were the first time he ever heard
the word.  "Ah," he laughed, "crude and not very accurate but I suppose it
fits considering your limited understanding.  Yes, I need to speak with
this fortuneteller.  I'd be grateful if you'd take me to her."

      "Um, she's right down in the village.  All you have to do is look for
the creepy looking shop.  Seriously, you can't miss it."

      He came at me abruptly and stop a few feet away; his hands out in
front of him like he was ready to choke someone.  "Yes, I realize she's
close.  Somewhere very close, but that information hasn't come to me yet
and I don't have time to wait until it does.  That's why I'm asking you to
take me to her.  Please."

      "Why me?"  I admit I wasn't making this easy, but I think my question
was valid.  I sure as hell didn't want to get in trouble.

      "Aren't you one of these pledges?"

      "Yes."

      "So aren't you required to do as we ask?"

      "I'm required to do what the Brothers ask of me and I..."

      "And what?  You don't believe me to be a Brother?"  A little smiled
appeared on his face.  I think he was both amused and annoyed at the same
time.  "If you're afraid you're going to get in some kind of trouble for
helping me you need not worry.  Trust me; not helping me would be the
larger mistake...my friend."

      I still had some reservations but decided to help him nonetheless.
The way the Brothers acted when they brought him into the house made it
clear he was someone of importance.  How much trouble could I possibly get
into?

	We left the house without running into anyone and headed toward
campus.  We had yet to say a single word to each other after leaving my
room.  He had this fierce look of determination on his face like he was on
a mission and nothing could stop him.  That is of course until we hit the
campus where his face went from hardcore tenacity to utter wonder and
disbelief.  He stopped dead in his tracks, frozen.

	"What?" I asked.  "What's wrong?"

	"I've never seen anything like them before," he replied in a hushed
voice.

	Clearly I was missing something.  I tried to follow his line of
sight but all I saw was a bench with a garbage can next to it, a couple of
statues, and a few girls laid out on a blanket reading.  "What are you
looking at exactly?"

	Slowly raising his hand, he pointed at the group of girls.

	Now I've come across so pretty hot girls that made me stop whatever
I was doing at the moment, but they had to be gorgeous model type girls to
get that kind of a reaction from me.  Believe me these girls were cute, but
nowhere near the Halle Berry's of the world.

	"You've never seen a girl before buddy?"  I couldn't help but make
a joke of it, but I guess the joke was on me when he nodded no.  That was a
little weird for me because it's not like he was playing along with me - he
was dead serious.

	"Only the Oracle," he confessed softly.

	"Okay then..."  Placing my hands on his shoulder, I gentle pushed
him onward.  "We should keep moving if you want to catch this Oracle of
yours."  The boy gawked at every girl that walked by.  Unlike most boys his
age, he wasn't staring at them with lust in his eyes.  He stared at them
with the look of lingering questions.

	"So do you have a name?"  I figured I'd try to bring him back into
my reality.  "Hey!"  I slapped him on his arm.  Risky I know, but I had to
do something.

	"What?"

	"A name, do you have one?"

	"Oh...Soullen."

	"Soullen huh?  I like it.  It's unique."

	"Thank you.  It's not unique, was my father's name."

	"So why do the Brothers refer to you as prince?"  I kind of snuck
that one under the radar hoping he wouldn't notice.  He was still marveling
at all the ladies around us so I figured I had a decent shot to get him to
spill.

	"I'm the last remaining royal member of..."  His eyes found mine
and he laughed suddenly and then slapped me on my stomach.  "Nice try but
you're not supposed to know these things.  At least not yet anyway."

	I shrugged and laughed along with him.  "Well you can't blame a guy
for trying."

	"No, I suppose not.  Let just say it's...well, as you would
say...it's complicated."

	"Fair enough," I smiled and dropped the subject.  "So why do you
need to speak with Lady White?"

	"Lady White?" he grinned.  "Is that what she goes by these days?  I
simply need someone to talk to."

	"Forgive me for saying so, but it seems like you have a house full
of the brothers back there that care enough about you to listen."

	"I know that.  I'm looking for an objective point of view."

	"And she'll give you that?"

	"Absolutely.  She's neutral in all things.  It's the way it's
always been."

	"How long have you known her?"

      "My whole life."

      "How old are you anyway?"

      He looked up at me with a sly smirk on his face.  "Old enough, trust
me.  Why how old do you think I am?"

      "I'd guess around sixteen or so."

      "And you'd be right.  Now come on, let's hurry!"  Slapping me in the
back, he took off running.

      Now I'm pretty fit and great runner if I do say so myself, but I
could not keep up with the boy to save my life.  He constantly stayed about
half a block ahead of me.  It was really pissing me off.  We hit the
Village and he suddenly stopped.  I'd guess he put the brakes on when he
realized he had no idea where he was going.  It was not to give me a chance
to catch up.

      With my hands on my waist, I walked up next to him and tried to catch
my breath.  I was hot, sweaty and bothered.  Don't get me wrong, I could've
kept on going for a while longer but I wasn't about to complain that we
stopped.  I look at that little fucker and became really annoyed.  "You're
not even out of breath?"

      Soullen looked at me looking like a hot mess and I could almost see
the light bulb go off in his head.  "Oh, right..."  So he took a few deep
breaths like he gasped for air and gave me thumbs up.  "Oh yeah, that feels
better."  Then he went right back to breathing normally.  That fucker!
"She's close.  Where is she?"

      I pointed across the street to her shop and he took off again like a
bullet.  "Hey!  Be careful crossing that street!"  The little snot almost
got hit by two cars.  I shuddered at the thought of explaining that one to
the Brothers.

      I walked into the shop and saw Soullen standing in the waiting room
looking around.  Before I could say anything he took off into the next room
where Lady White does her readings.  I called after him but it was
pointless so I went after him again.

      I caught hold of him and spun him around by the arm.  "Hey, you can't
just go busting into people's places unless you're trying to get your
criminal r‚sum‚ in order."

      A soft laugh came from the other end of the room.  "That's quite
alright Jacob.  You're both welcomed here.  Always."

      Soullen lit up like a Christmas tree the instant he laid eyes on her.
He ran to her and hugged her like nothing else.  For a second there I was
afraid he was going to knock the poor lady over.  "So you do know him."

      "That I do," she smiled, took his face into her hands and looked into
this eyes.  "My precious one."  She pulled him into another, tighter hug.
"I always knew you weren't lost to us.  Now come into the kitchen and help
me.  I'm baking cookies."

      "What's a cookie?"

      Lady White laughed and gently pushed him into the kitchen.  "You'll
love them.  Jacob, make yourself at home.  I'll be with you shortly."

      What was that supposed to mean?  I didn't need anything.  I didn't
even want to be there necessarily.  I made the best of it and went over to
one of the cabinets filled with crystal figurines.  Lady White returned
with a small bowl filled with five hardboiled eggs. It was an odd snack to
offer someone, but she was odd.

      "No thank you."

      "These aren't for you," she placed the bowl on the table and returned
to the kitchen.

      I shrugged it off and went back to the figurines.  Then I remembered
my previous visit.  She had eggs out for some pet I never saw.  I looked at
the table and sure enough there were now only four eggs left.  "Look,
whatever or whoever you are, knock yourself out."  I was more curious about
what Lady White and Soullen were discussing.  I gradually made way towards
the kitchen door. You know, to check out the paintings on the wall.

      "It's not fair!" Soullen exclaimed.

      That perked my ears right up.

      "Oh?  And you find fairness in going to Qua'quelle's room and
demanding something for which you have no right?  I'm disappointed in you
Soullen.  Making a scene like that and smashing his desk.  That's not how
you treat your brothers.  Your father would not have approved of your
behavior."

      "I know and I'm sorry.  I was upset."

      "I'm not the one you should be apologizing to Soullen."

      "They're denying me my birthright and Qua'quelle isn't helping."

      Not for nothing, but the cookies she was baking smelled fucking
amazing!

      "You speak of Qua'quelle with such disdain.  It's shameful and breaks
my heart.  After all, I remember all too clearly how you worshipped him.
Always following him around, trying to impress him and make him proud of
you.  He was always so very proud of you.  He loves you more than you'll
ever know.  He does not deserve this treatment from you."

      "They why does he deny me my birthright?"

      "Birthright," She scoffed.  "The time of birthrights is long gone
Soullen."

      "You sound like Q."  I could almost feel him pouting.

      She laughed.  "I'll take that as compliment.  You're so concerned
with your birthright you've forgotten what it truly means.  You know what
your birthright is Soullen?  It's that house filled with your brothers that
love you without question.  It's that house filled with your brothers that
have unyielding devotion to each other.  It's that house filled with your
brothers who'd gladly give their lives for their family.  That's your
birthright...that's what you've inherited.  Now I ask you Soullen, is that
so terrible?"

      He didn't answer for a long while, but when he finally said, "no,
it's not," his words were filled with guilt and shame.

      "You've just awoken so their deaths are still so clear in your mind.
The bitterness still stings your tongue.  The loss of your brother was a
loss to us all.  And I know you miss your father dearly.  I can see that.
We all do for he was a great king and a greater father figure to all your
brothers, but trying to resurrect the past is not going to bring them
back."

      He must have stood up to go to her because I could hear his muffled
cries.  "I want them back so much," he pleaded.  "Just bring them back!"

      "Shhh, it's okay my precious one.  You are not alone.  You will never
be alone."

      I didn't understand what was going on but I felt for him.  I had a
lump in my throat.  I literally choked up hearing him beg for his love ones
back.

      "Now, it's time for you to return home and make things right with
Qua'quelle.  I don't want to hear about anymore nonsense between my boys.
Talk to him and come to me when it's settled.  Tell me how it went.  Okay?"

      "I promise," he said.

      "Go on now.  Go on."

      I flew back across the room to the figurine cabinet and pretended to
be more interested in a pair of crystal doves than the conversation in the
next room.  When the kitchen door swung I expected to see Soullen but it
was Lady White instead.  "Where's Soullen?"

      "Don't worry about him.  He's fine.  Come help an old lady move these
boxes into the pantry."  She moved to a stack of unmarked crates near the
front porch.

      "No seriously, where did he go?  I brought him out here so I'm
responsible for him.  I can't just lose him."

      She smiled.  "Actually, you've got that backwards.  He's responsible
for you, but no matter, you're in good hands.  I assure you there is no
need to worry about Soullen.  Now are you really going to let an old lady
move boxes by herself?  Hmmm?"

      She didn't wait for me to answer.  She reached for the top box.
Afraid she would drop it oh her head, I rushed to her side to take the box
from her hand.

      "Good," she said and opened the kitchen door.  "Right in here will do
fine."

      Yeah, she totally played me, but I moved the five crates regardless.
I was expecting her to send me on my way when I finished, but instead she
offered me a seat at the table and insisted I sit.  The kitchen reminded me
of my grandmother's.  It just had that look and feel that said nothing can
touch you here.  I wondered if she was someone's grandmother.

      "What can I do for you, Jacob?" she asked.

      "Me? I don't need anything.  I was just brought Soullen to your
shop."

      "Oh, I see," she laughed, patted my shoulder and went to the stove.
"You really believe you came here for Soullen's sake.  That's good.  That's
really good."  She pulled out a sheet of cookies from the oven and placed
three of them on a small plate. She stood over me for a moment with the
plate in hand.  Then, from nowhere she grabbed my chin and forced me to
look into her eyes.  "You're falling in love with him," she mused.

      "Falling in love with whom?"

      She just smirked.  "Eat your cookies and be careful they're hot."

      "I don't want your cookies..."

      Lady White looked over her shoulder with that look.  The one only a
grandmother can give and the next thing I know, I'm eating the cookies.
She poured me a tall glass of chocolate milk and joined me at the table.
We sat in silence for a moment while she watched me eat, waiting perhaps
for me to make the first move.  Despite the million questions on the tip of
my tongue, I didn't know what to say.

      "Go on..."

      Those two words were all I needed.  "Is this a test?  Are you part of
an elaborate production being put on for my benefit?

      "If you only know how many boys, sitting in that same spot, asked
that same question."

      "And what did you tell them?"

      "Nothing."

      I couldn't help but laugh.  "Surprising."

      "I asked them what they thought was the truth."

      "It's a test of course," I said matter-of-factly.  "The things I've
heard and seen are not possible. What else could it be?"

      "Interesting, don't you think?  You hold so firmly to your belief and
yet here you are asking the question.  Why do you think that is?"

      I shrugged as I bit into my second cookie..

      "Would you feel better if I reinforced your belief that it was all a
test?  W else could it be, Jacob?  Nothing else could possibly fit inside
the box that is your reality.  For that to happen you'd have to let go of
what you know.  You'd have to step outside that box.  Most people are not
capable of that.  Are you one of those people?"

      "I don't know."

      "That's fair.  Unfortunately you'll have to answer that question
sooner than you realize.  But not today."

      Talk about not knowing which way was up or down or left or right.
That's how I felt after every Lady White encounter.  She had a serious
talent for not saying anything while making you doubt everything you
believe.  The Brotherhood had nothing on her.  The possibility of what she
was implying - of her reality - was too overwhelming for me.  I wasn't
prepared to go there just yet.

      How could I?  It was just too crazy.

      "Finish your milk," she said and cleared my plate from the table.

      I watched her rinse the plate in the sink and the question just left
my lips as casually as I would slip on a pair of shoes.  "You know who I
am, don't you?  I mean you really know."

      Slowly she shut off the water and dried her hands with a cloth towel.
"How does that fit into your box?"

      "Damn the box!  Just tell me what you know."

      "I'm sorry Jacob."  I hate to admit it, but her apology was genuine.
"I can't give you what you want.  Possessing something doesn't mean it is
yours to give.  Like I said, this is a path you have to travel on your own.
If it gives you solace, I can promise that the door to your identity will
be unlocked.  You already found the key."

      I don't know what made my head spin more, the fact that she might
truly know the secret to my past or the key crap.  She pushed me out the
door before I had the chance to ask about either.  "It's time for you to
return to the house before the brothers miss you."

      I had so many more questions I wanted to ask her but I let it go.  I
wouldn't get a straight answer anyway.  I'd just leave with more questions.
I thanked Lady White for her time and walked out of her shop.  Three steps
later, she called out to me.

      "Remember Jacob, when you open one door you're usually closing
another behind you."

      I nodded.  It was all I could do.  That made as much sense to me as
everything else she said.  My head was filled with questions and even more
doubts.  Would I be walking into my future or former home?  At the moment,
the road before me looked as murky as the past I wanted to regain.  If the
finish line was anywhere nearby I sure as hell couldn't see it.

      Where was this key?

      I felt toyed with a little bit.  If you're going to give me an inch
why not give me the whole mile?  There was a moment where I stopped walking
and started laughing at myself.  Why was I buying into any of this?  What
the hell was I thinking?  Why was I doing this to myself?  For a moment she
gave me hope and that can be a dangerous thing.  I wasn't going to feed
into it.  There was no magic key and she sure as hell didn't know anything
about me.  If I have to play this game to get into The Brotherhood, so be
it.  Whatever questions I had would be answered if I made it in.  If I
didn't, to hell with it.

       There was no point in driving myself crazy.  The Brother's have been
playing this game fro a long time.  I sure as hell wasn't going to be the
one to suddenly "crack the code."

      My heart raced as I entered the house.  Did things fall in our favor
or was I entering just to get the boot?  I was really hoping to run into
one my fellow pledges, but no such luck.  The house was quiet, almost
desolate.  It seemed like a bad sign.  One of the brothers passed me in the
hall.  He simply nodded and kept going without saying a word.  My room was
empty but Arsen's stuff was still there.  Maybe the quiet was just
that...quiet.  Nobody else was in their rooms and there wasn't a brother
around to give me any type of direction.  I sat on my bed and waited.

      My restlessness got the best of me in less than fifteen minutes.  I
left my room with no clear destination in mind, but ultimately ended up in
front of Q's bedroom door.  I wanted to knock.  I put my hand up but walked
away instead.  I got two steps away before I turned around again.  This
time I stood there longer, but didn't put my hand up.  I don't know if
that's progress or not.  I moved away for a second time but only made it
one step before turning back.  I was getting dizzy and feeling dumb.  I
didn't want to bother him and even though we were this secret couple, I
wasn't sure if it was appropriate to show up unannounced.  I wish I had a
rule book to follow at times like these.  Or even a pamphlet with strong
suggestions to follow.  My life would be much easier.

      "Well this is just stupid," I whispered.

      "I'd have to agree," a voice whispered back.

      I jumped, startled so bad my whole body thrust full force into the
door.  I turned to see Q standing there, smirking.

      "I almost didn't interrupt you.  I really wanted to see how this
would play out."

      "Jerk!"  My first reaction was to punch him in the shoulder and I
went with it.  Now don't get it twisted.  It was more of a love tap than a
punch and meant to be taken in the spirit of things.  Q went along with it.
"Don't laugh at me!"  I threw a second punch which he caught and then
pinned me to the door with the one hand over my head.  I could've stuck out
my tongue and lick his lip, he was so close to me.

      "You never have to stand outside this door; it's forever open to
you."  There was a sweetness to his breath that made me yearn for his kiss.
Seriously, he must have been eating sour apple candy like Jolly Ranchers
and I love those things.  He kissed me right there and I was lost to him.
He seemed oblivious to the fact that we were still standing out in the hall
where anyone could see.

        I knew one thing for sure.  It was definitely Jolly Ranchers.

      Q managed to open the door while we kissed and before I knew it we
were inside his bedroom.  He locked it behind him.  "I'm sorry," he said
softly and broke away from our embrace; his hand purposely sliding across
my stomach as he walked off.

      "For what?"  I was still in daze.  His actions, though very welcomed,
were unexpected.

      "The last few days I haven't given you much attention, both as your
Big or your...boyfriend."

      That was cute - watching him getting used to say the word out loud.
I was the same way.  "You don't have to apologize.  As much as I would love
to spend as much time with you as possible I get that you're busy, so
please don't sweat it."

      "Handsome and understanding," he smiled.  "But I'd still like to make
it up to you."

      My interest was peaked.  I watched him walk past his desk towards the
bathroom.

      The desk...my eyes stayed focused on the desk.  It wasn't all smashed
up like I thought it would be.  Everything was fine. It looked like nothing
had happened.  Hell, even the stapler was where I remembered.  I don't know
why it was such a shocker.  It's Q's stuff for crying out loud.  I'm sure
he had it replaced within hours of Soullen smashing it to pieces.

      Without thinking, I turned to ask him about it.  A dumb move
considering I wasn't supposed to be there to witness the destruction in the
first place.  Luckily, just as I opened my mouth to ask, Q leisurly pulled
his shirt off.  His actions were slow and deliberate and distracted the
hell out of me.  I watched in awe as his back muscles flexed and twisted.
He undid the button on his cargos, shifted his right leg back a little and
his shorts fell to the ground.  He had these sexy white, low-rise 2xist
trunks on that hugged him in all the right places.  I swear he must have
been an underwear model in a former life because...damn!

      Q disappeared into the bathroom.  I expected him to come back out.
He never did.  Instead a warm, flickering light started emanated for the
darkness, pulling me into the bathroom as if it was Q's voice calling for
me.  I walked in just in time to see Q's naked body sink into the Jacuzzi
and my mind went in like ten different directions.  There were three
burning candles around the Jacuzzi and a heavy mist pouring out of the
water.  This was definitely not what I was expecting when I came to his
room but it was sure as hell a welcomed surprise.

      The room smelled sweet and at first I thought the candles were
scented but I was wrong.  The aroma was coming from the water, which
appeared to have crimson rose pedals floating on the surface.  I consider
myself a romantic guy but I never did anything like this for Alex. .

      Q reached out his hand to tug on my pant leg.  "These tend to get in
the way," he said.

      I couldn't have agreed with him more.  I stripped and joined him,
settling in between his legs with my back to his chest and my head just
below his chin. The water was hot and the jets felt great against my body.
I relaxed almost instantly.  Thanks, in no small part, to the atmosphere
and Q slowly combing his fingers thru my hair. I picked up one of the
pedals in the palm of my hand and realized it wasn't from a rose at all.
The sweet aroma was coming from the pedal and so was the mist.  I could see
it curling up from its edges like the smoke from a cigar.  Not to mention
it was warm to the touch.  I was going to question it, but in the end I
just let the pedal fall back into the water.  The mood was just too perfect
to ruin it by asking the how or the why.  All that mattered to me was being
in the arms of my man.

      We sat coiled and content in each our other's arm.  Q continued to
run his fingers thru my hair without missing a beat.  I ran my hands lazily
up and down his legs while keeping my eye's closed.  I simply wanted to
enjoy the moment.

      "So..." Q said and kissed the top of my head.

      I really wasn't sure what to say so I just shrugged.  Well, that's
not entirely true.  I really wanted to ask him what was going on with the
pledges and if we still had a chance to become Brothers.  But I didn't want
to go there right off the bat so I held off hoping he'd broach the subject
up himself.

      "Seriously what's on your mind?  Or did your visit with Lady White
freak you out to the point of silence?"

      "How did you know I was with Lady White?"

      "Really Jacob?  You're asking me that of all people?"

      I laughed because he was so right.  "Oh yeah, I forgot who I was
talking to for a minute.  You know you should consider a job with the CIA.
I'm sure they could use someone with your 'I Spy' skills."

      His brushed his lips against my ear and whispered, "Trust me, the CIA
has nothing on us."

      "You know what's really sad?  I actually believe that."  He liked
that.  "But no, Lady White didn't freak me out at all.  I wasn't really
there for myself.  I was just showing Soullen where her shop was."

      "Well that definitely explains his sudden change in attitude."

      "Were you guys having problems?"

      "In a roundabout sort of way.  Soullen's not accustomed to way things
are at the moment. He misses his father and brother so he feels
overwhelmingly alone.  Right now his anger is directed towards everyone and
anyone.  I don't mind being his lightening rod for the time being.
Underneath it all, Soullen is a great kid."

      "So you two are close?"

      "Yeah, I like to think so."  I could feel him smiling behind me.  It
was actually kind of sweet.  "My father wasn't really in the picture back
in the day so his father looked after me like I was one of his own.  When
Soullen was born he looked at me no differently than he did his brother.
To Soullen we were all one family."

      "You talk about your dads a lot.  Where were your moms doing all
this?"

      "It's complicated."  That's all Q said on the matter. I knew better
than to keep digging.  The suddenly change in his tone made it clear that
was all he was prepared to share at the moment.  I had to accept that
certain things come with time.

      Now that the ball was rolling I figured it was ok to ease in on other
topics of conversation.  "So what's going to happen to us as a pledge
class?"  Okay maybe that wasn't so much easing into it than it was gunning
straight for it.  "Jacob got us all more than a little worried; I'm not
going to lie."

      Q hugged me close for reassurance.  "You don't have to worry about
that for now. I spoke with Kyrios and we came to an understanding."  He
knew I was going to ask something more but he didn't give me the chance.
"You probably have a million questions, but I can't discuss it right now.
Just trust me when I say you guys are good.  Actually all your fellow
pledges are out with their Bigs having a celebration of sorts.  We can go
join them if you want."

      I thought about it for like a nano-second.  "No, I'm good here,
thanks."

      He laughed and kissed me again.  Q was being so kind and loving
towards me.  I felt horrible. Not exactly the reaction you'd expect, right?
There was still stuff I hadn't told him and just thinking about it twisted
my stomach in knots.  I sat up in the Jacuzzi and stared into the misty
water.

      Q playfully wrapped his legs around my waist and ran the tips of his
fingers down my back.  "What's wrong Jacob?"

      "There's something I have to tell you...something I want to tell you
but I just don't know how to go about doing it."

      "Just say what's on your mind, babe.  Whatever it is it can't be that
bad.  You can tell me anything."

      I took a moment to gather my thoughts and he allowed me the time
without putting any addition pressure on me to talk.  Q is just awesome
like that.  Finally I just broke down and told him everything about the
"shadow man." From the encounter in the janitor's closet to the time in the
Arcade, I spilled everything.  I told him about the program he wanted me to
plant on his computer and the listening devices and all this craziness.  I
told him Q he threatened to expose our relationship if I didn't follow his
orders.  I think I seriously said it one long breath.  But in the end it
felt amazing to finally put it all out there.  It was like the weight of
the world crumbled off my shoulders with every word.  I could breathe
again.

      Q's reaction was immediate.  He stopped stroking my back and
unwrapped his legs from my waist.  All I could do was fiddle my fingers in
the water and hope for the best.  I could only assume he was quiet for so
long because he was in shock and just didn't know what to say.  Then I felt
him pull away from me a little bit.  It wasn't like he got up and left, but
it was enough for me to notice.  My heart dropped to my stomach and
shattered.  I couldn't stop my eyes from watering up.

      Pressing his lips to my ear, he whispered, "Congratulations" and
kissed me on the neck.

      What just happened here?  I turned to face Q.  "What do you mean
'congratulations?'"

	He shrugged.  "I don't know.  That's usually what you tell someone
when they pass their final trial.  I could have gone with something else I
suppose.  Like 'good job' or 'nice one 'if you prefer."

	I splashed his face with water.  "Shut up!  You mean I passed?  I
actually fucking passed?"

	He nodded and his smile grew.

	I jumped on Q, hugged the hell out of him and splashed water
everywhere.  I couldn't stop kissing him; not that I really wanted to stop.
Then it hit me.  "Who was the shadow guy because he knew about us?  He
threatened to out our relationship if I didn't do what he wanted?  It was
you all along wasn't it?"

	"Not the whole time, no.  Different Brother's played the roles at
the different times.  I was the one in the Arcade though."

	"So you used my feelings for you to set a trap?"  I was annoyed the
instant I spoke those words out loud.

	"Yes."  He said it so bluntly and without apology that it kind of
stung a little.  "The final trail is tailored specifically to each pledge.
The whole point is to find something that will put them at odds with The
Brotherhood to see how they handle it and where exactly their loyalties
lie.  Our relationship was the obvious choice for me."  Caressing the side
of my face, Q looked into my eyes with a sincerity that could not be
denied.  "I can sit here and lie to you and feed you some line about how I
regret doing it and wish there was another option, but the truth is I don't
regret it all.  The Brotherhood is more important than any one person and
we have to be 120% sure that a pledge understands that before we bring them
on board.  I knew from the very beginning, without reservation, that you
would come thru and do the right thing by The Brotherhood.  I'm very proud
of you, Jacob.  I'm proud to have you in my life as my boyfriend and I'll
be honored to have you stand at my side as my Brother."

	I so hated him.  Only because how can anyone honestly stay mad at
someone after a speech like that?  It literally gave me goose pumps to hear
Q sing my praise.  I mean what do you say to that?  "You're still an ass!"
I kissed him thru his laugh as a way of thanking him for his lovely words.
"What about the other guys?  Have any of them passed their trails?"

	"We're still waiting on most, but we had a few early birds who
figured out the right thing to do was to come to us."

	"Hey was that a jab at me?"  I twisted his nipple playfully and his
body jerked in response.  I kissed it to make it better.

	"I'm just saying, I'm not the one who waited until it downloaded
like 90% percent before deciding maybe it wasn't the right thing to do."

	"It was actual 94%."

	"Oh 'cause that's better."

	"How did you know that anyway?"

	"I was in the other room mirroring the computer in my office while
you were doing your 007 thing.  I was looking at the same progress bar you
were."

	"And you never thought for even a second I'd let it go all the
way?"

	"Not even for a split second," he kissed me again.

	God I loved making out with Q!  The way he looked at me; how his
kisses felt like a rose gently pressed against my lips; how he made me
shiver when the tips of his fingers traveled the length of my spine...all
of it made me melt.

	I pulled away for a moment and then jerked forward for a quick kiss
before turning back around so I was leaning comfortably against his chest.
He hugged me tight.

	"Not for nothing, but I had a feeling this was all a test right
from the get go."

	"Of course you did," he mocked.  "Every pledge confesses to having
this knowledge after the fact."

	"No I'm serious!"

	"Yeah I know."

	"Just shut up!" I jabbed him in the ribs with my elbow.  "Hey who
else passed?  You said there were a few."

	"God, you're nosey!  The last time I check you weren't a full
fledge Brother, so you're not privy to that information.  You'll have to
wait and see.  And don't even think about asking the other pledges or
telling them you passed."

	"Okay.  Okay."

	"Even after it's announced, don't try to find out the details of
their last trial.  That's something that stays between Big and Little.
Only the ruling council members are entitled to the specifics."

	"Okay, I get it.  Geez!"  I had a question I wanted to ask him but
completely spaced.  It took a few minutes of silence to finally get the
thought back.  "So is this an automatic in for me now that I passed the
final trial?"

	"It's a big win Jacob, but it's not the final victory.  You forget
fate comes in pairs.  So if Arsen blows it, you're pretty much screwed.
But if he comes through, your application then goes before the Council of
Brothers.  So basically the heads of every house on the planet get together
and decide your fate."

	"But you'll put in a good word, right?"

	"I'll think about it.  I might be busy that day."

	Needless to say he got another, harder jab to the ribs.

	"If these other Brothers don't know us, how can they possibly make
that call?"

	"Look at you with all the smart questions," he teased.

	"I have my moments."

	He laughed.  "The decision is made largely by the argument the Big
makes on behalf of his little."

	"Oh great!  So you can go in there and screw the whole thing up."

	"Pretty much.  You better hope I'm not drinking like I was last
time.  Dylan barely made it in."

	"Ha ha, you're funning, but not really.  All joking aside do you-"

	"Who was joking?"

	"No really, you should take your act on the road, dumbass."  For a
moment I thought I took it too far but Q just laughed.  It was great and we
felt like a real couple not having to work around the restraints between
Big and Little.  "Do you think I have a good shot?  Did I do anything that
will count against me?"

	"You're cute," he said.  "But yes, you did something that will
count against you and you already know what that is."

	"I put the flash drive in the computer when I should've come to
you."

	"Yes you did and yes you should have."

	I instantly felt like a douche bag.  I knew better and didn't
follow my gut instinct.  But like always, Q was right there to pick me back
up.

	He leaned in close and hugged me warmly.  "I have a secret for
you."

	"Oh?"

	"You have this guy named Q who has your back.  And believe me, when
he wants it to rain...it storms."  He kissed my neck and pulled me closer.
"Ultimately you did the right thing in the end, so you'll be fine.  Trust
in me."

	I did trust him.

	We sat in the Jacuzzi a while longer playfully talking about stuff
all new couples talk about.  Eventually we got quiet and just enjoyed each
other's company.  Eventually the heat and relaxed mood took over and I fell
asleep in Q's arms.  It was like falling asleep in heaven's arms.  There
was a moment when I was in that hazy state where your eyes are closed but
you're not quite asleep when I remember feeling warmth all around me.  It
was almost tangible, like a blanket wrapped around my body.  I was floating
and nothing in the world could touch me.

	The next thing I knew I was batting my eyes open and stretching out
like a cat on Q's bed.

	"Hey sleepy head, you're up."

	"What time is it?"  Throwing my legs over the side, I sat up and
rubbed my eyes with my palms.  "Is it the next day or something?"

	"No it's only seven," Q laughed.  "You've been out for like an hour
so.  Come on, get up and get dressed.  I'm taking you out."

	I got up and the silk sheets slipped off exposing my junk to the
evening air.  "Where are you taking me?"  Standing on the tips of my toes
and throwing my warms up as high as they would go, I stretched out one last
time and let out the longest yawn of my life.  I crossed paths with Q as I
headed to the bathroom to get my clothes.  Hooking my arm around his waist,
I pulled him back to me and kissed him on the cheek.  "Where are you taking
me, sexy?"

	"To the mall; now get dressed."  Breaking free from my hold, he
kissed me quick on the lips and slapped my bare ass.

	"Yikes!  I think I'd rather stay in."

	"I bet you would.  Here catch!"  I turned and he fired a pair of
underwear at me like a slingshot.  It hit me in the face.  "Put these on
and grab whatever you want out of my closet."

	"Are these yours?"  I already knew the answer to the question, I
don't know why I bothered asking.  It was so stupid.

	"No, I got them off the bum down the street.  What kind of stupid
question is that?"

	See.

	I put on a pair of his jeans, a red Hollister t-shirt, some flip
flops and I was good to go.  We were half way down the stairs when I
thought of something I wanted to do...if I could find the balls to do it.
"Hey, do you mind if I grab something out of my room?  It'll just take me a
second."

      He nodded and told me he'd wait for me downstairs.  It took me all of
two minutes to get what I needed and run downstairs to meet up with Q.  He
was by the door hugging some elderly man who was probably in his eighties.
They seemed truly happy to see each other as if they hadn't seen each other
in decades. Q was assuring him he'd be back in no time do to something or
other.  I missed that part.

      I came up behind Q and he was quick to introduce me.  "This is my
Little, Jacob."

      "How's it going young man?"  I took his hand and cringed under his
grip.  He was surprising strong for a man of his age.  He pointed at me and
then at Q.  "This one here will take you far, you understand son?"

      I nodded and smiled.  "Yes sir."

      "You put your trust in him and he'll get you far.  Believe you me!
This is one hell of a Big I had when I was your age.  One hell of a Big!"

      And with those words, the pleasantries were over. Q was quick to rush
him into the next room and damn near pushed me out the door.  "What did he
mean by that?  He's like a hundred years old.  How could you have been his
Big?"

      "You said it.  He's like a hundred years old and easily gets
confused.  Don't worry about it."  He said all that in the best possible
"Big" voice he could muster.  In other words, stop asking questions.

      I let it go for the time being.  We got to the garage and he tossed
me the keys to the Mercedes SUV.  "Want to drive?"  It was a sweet fucking
ride with blacked out windows and chrome rims.

      "Hells to the yeah!"

      For the most part we listened to the radio and chatted about random
stuff.  My arm was resting on the center console and he would trace his
fingers down my wrist and made swirls on the palm of my hand.  It felt
nice.  At one point, that fool got us lost.  First of all, in my defense, I
had no idea where this mall was, so I relied on him for the directions.
Granted we could have just punched it into the NAV system but he was like
'I'll just tell you were to go.'  Fine.  But then, that fool takes a phone
call, gets distracted and proceeds to point every which way.  Next thing
you know, we're lost.  Then he tried to put it back on me like it was my
fault.  Whatever!  I'm not even going to get into our little argument over
that one.  I was right.

      He was taking me to Pleasant View Mall.  It was the newest and
largest mall in Connecticut and to top it all off, it was considered beach
front property.  Sections of the mall were pure glass which provided the
most amazing view of the water you can imagine.  I'd never been to the mall
but I'd seen pictures.  Apparently tons of people from all over come to see
the sunset over the dark waters of the Atlantic.

      "I'm just saying," Q said as he stepped out of SUV.  "If you had just
listened to my direction you would not have gotten lost."

      "I was listening to you."  I came around his side and made a choking
motion like I was going for his neck. "That was the problem.  You gave me
bad direction because you were too busy chatting it up on the phone.  So we
got lost."

      "Whatever," he shrugged.  "If it makes you feel better."

      "It doesn't have to make me feel better, it's the fucking truth!"

      "God you're so easy," he laughed and tried to come up on me.

      "Get away from me," I jerked away, "don't touch me.  You need to be
killed, I've decided."

      "Ha!"  That echoed throughout the parking garage.  "I'd love to see
that happen."  Running up behind me, he locked me in a big bear hug and
lifted me off my feet.  He would've had me on the ground if it wasn't for
the pillar next to us. I was able to put my foot on it and push myself
back.  Somehow I got free but we horsed around like that all the up to the
entrance.

      The first thing I noticed as we entered the mall was the two guys
walking out.  Q didn't see them.  He was looking down at his phone, texting
someone.  They stuck out to me because of the way they were dressed.  They
wore cloaked all black with military style boots.  One guy had a long
trench coat that flowed behind him like a scene from a movie.  The one
without the coat had a spiked collar around his neck and dark sunglasses.
I looked over my shoulder and saw them come back into the mall.  I thought
it odd but really didn't give it much thought at the time.

      Our trip to the mall wasn't anything out of the ordinary, so I won't
bore you with the small details.  We did what everyone else does - we
walked around and looked at shit.  I enjoyed my time with Q.  I especially
liked it when he got a call or got distracted by something because it gave
me the chance to fall back behind him to watch his nice ass wiggle in front
of me.  He didn't have a belt on so his pants hung a little low on his
hips.  Whenever he reached for something his shirt would go up and I got a
prefect view of his sexy underwear.  I've said it before but it bears
repeating.  That's fucking sexy to me.

      We walked into the Hollister store and as Q disappeared around the
corner, I noticed the same two guys in black walk by the store.  Again not
a big deal.  But I bring up the store because it was the most fun I had
with my newly found "gayness" if you will.

      Like I said, Q entered first and went to look at some shorts.  I went
the opposite direction.  So in all reality, it didn't look like we were
together as friends or otherwise.  After like ten minutes Q went to the
other side of the store to look at t-shirts and that's when I noticed the
employee folding up clothes next to him.  He was seventeen or eighteen and
you know he was gay.  Not because he was doing or say anything that gave
him away, but please, the boy works at Hollister.  I'm pretty sure it's a
requirement that you're gay or curious in order to work there.

      The kid couldn't see me watching him but I sure as hell saw how he
couldn't keep his eyes off Q.  Keep in mind Q has his back towards the guy
so he had no idea what was going on.  He was simply going about his
business, oblivious to the activities behind him.  The kid definitely felt
the same way I did when Q reached up to take a shirt off the rack and
exposed his underwear.  He bit down on his lip and gave that aggressive
look that screamed, "I want to bang him right here and now."  It was even
better when Q squatted down to look at something on the lower shelves.
Without the belt you could see straight down the back of his pants; just
more of his sexy underwear for his viewing pleasure.

      As if that wasn't funny enough, the kid turned to his buddy at the
register and waved to get his attention.  He kind of nodded in Q's
direction and the other kid's mouth just floors it.  He mouthed the words
"oh my god" and bit his knuckle.  He looked around to make sure no one -
except his buddy folding clothes - was watching and came around the
register.  He starts making humping and slapping motions like he was
fucking Q doggy style and slapping his ass silly.  He mouthed the words "oh
yeah" over and over again.  The kid folding clothes lost it.  Eventually,
he too joined in the fun by making the head bobbing motion like he was
sucking on Q's dick.  He even illustrated his deep throating skills, which
was interesting to watch, but impossible to explain.  Use your imagination.

      The whole thing was hilarious.  I don't know what was funnier to me;
the way they were lusting after Q or the fact that Q had no idea what they
were doing.  Finally I decide to step into view.  They immediately stopped
what they were doing and went back to work.  The kid folding clothes was
turning a light shade of red and wouldn't make eye contact with me.  Tthey
knew I must've seen a little bit of what they were doing.  They just had no
idea I actually saw the whole thing.

      I played it cool and went up to the table he was working at and
looked at some of the shirts.  "That guy over there is pretty hot, huh?"  I
wasn't done having my fun yet. The kid looked nervous and didn't know quite
what to say. "Dude it's totally cool.  I was checking him out too."

      That broke the ice and made him feel at ease.  And don't get me
wrong, these guys were pretty hot themselves.  They're Hollister boys after
all.  I think beauty is another requirement.  "He comes in here all the
time," he finally whispered.  "And hot doesn't begin to describe him."

      "Amen to that.  You ever put the moves on him or try to get his
number?"

      "No way!"  He looked at me like I was nuts.  "A guy like that is not
going to go for a guy like me.  Besides, he's probably straight and would
beat my ass if I tried anything."

      "Good point," I agreed.  "But then again, he is shopping in
Hollister."

      "Touch‚ my friend," he laughed.

      "Why don't you go try for his number?"

      "No fucking way dude.  You go if you think it's that easy."

      I shrugged.  "Okay."  I started to walk away and he grabbed me by the
arm.  "I'm serious.  I'm going for it.  I gave you your shot."

      "You're nuts!"

      I winked at him and quietly walked up behind Q as he bent over to
look for a shirt. .  Now I was the one who was doing the humping and
slapping motion behind Q.  The guy loved every second of it.  Mouthing the
words "watch this" to the kid, I walked up to Q and pressed my crotch
against his ass.  "Hey babe, did you find something you like?"  I think the
kid almost had a heart attack.

      Leaning back against my chest, Q held up two shirts and asked me my
opinion.  I shoved my hands in the front of his pockets and rested my chin
on his shoulder.  "I like them both."  I looked over at the kid and winked.
He fucking bolted back to his friend at register.  I couldn't help but
laugh in Q's ear.

      "You know Jacob," he began to say as he looked between the two
shirts; "if you really want to put on a show, next time I'll take you right
here over the table.  I'm sure those guys would love that."  He gave me a
peck on the lips and headed to the registers with both shirts.

      "How the hell do you do that?!"

      "I told you, the CIA has nothing on me."

      I hate it when he does that.

      The two guys at the register were very apologetic and downright
sweet.  I think they were afraid we were going to ask for a manager or
something but we laughed it off.  They were actually a couple of pretty
cool high school seniors.  We talked to them for like fifteen minutes and
they asked us a bunch of questions about college life.  A lot of their
questions were about KU specifically.  It was where they wanted to go next
year.  And this was the kicker.  Word has reached their ears about this
mysterious and elite fraternity called The Brotherhood.  They were all
excited about it and were determined to stick out above the rest for the
chance of getting tapped by the mysterious hand of The Brotherhood.

      "Do you guys know much about them?" one kid asked.

      I couldn't help but laugh.  "Are you going to tell them?"

      "Tell us what?"

      "No I think I'll leave it as a surprise."

      We said our goodbyes and left them totally fucking confused.  It was
awesome.  Our antics in the store did make me think of something that has
crossed my mind before.  "Hey riddle me this.  Let's say I become a Brother
and all that good stuff.  How long do we keep this on the DL before we
start letting others know?  I think it would be problematic if I became a
Brother and suddenly two weeks later we're dating.  People are going to ask
questions."

      "Yeah that would be a problem if the guys didn't already know."

      "See what I'm saying?  How do you think we should go about...wait a
minute.  Did you just say what I think you said?"

      "Yep."

      "You mean to tell me they've all known all this time?"

      He nodded.

      "Since when exactly?"

      "I spoke with the guys the moment I started having feelings for you.
You have to understand this isn't something that's out of the ordinary.
Within The Brotherhood a special bond forms between Big and Little that
last forever.  In some instances, that bond grows into something much more,
something much stronger and here we are.  We don't frown about it at all."

      "But your position within The Brotherhood.  All the stuff you told me
about the guy out in the west coast who did what we're doing right now and
he got booted.  Was that all part of the test too?"

      "Yes and no.  We changed the story around a little to plant the seed
in your mind for the final trial.  The fact that he fell in love with his
Little was never the problem.  He did use his position and power to make it
easier on his Little because he couldn't stand the thought of watching him
go thru the trials required to prove himself.  That was the problem."

      "And you never did that for me?"

      "Never.  I told you Jacob, you had my full confidence from the
beginning.  I didn't need to look out for you in that way."

      "I..uh...shit."  I didn't know what the fuck to say.

      "I was hoping you'd be relieved not upset."

      "I'm not upset...I don't think," I laughed.  We walked by a bench and
I had to take a seat.  "I'm definitely relieved, trust me.  I'm like a
mixed bag of emotions right now.  I know this is a good thing but all this
time I was so afraid our relationship was going to get you in trouble."

      "I know Jacob."  He sat next to me and rubbed my back.  "That was
part of the test.  You had to believe it with all your heart in order to
make those hard decisions.  In the end, you came out on top."

      "I guess I should've known."

      "Why is that?"

      "Because of your unyielding love and loyalty to The Brotherhood.  I
should've known you wouldn't go behind their back like this."  I turned to
face him finally.  "Damn, you guys are really good at this."

      He smiled.  "We have to be.  Only the best of the best can be allowed
into The Brotherhood."  Q took my hand in his.  "I promise you this crazy
ride will be worth it.  Once you're truly on the inside everything will be
clear to you and you'll know why it's so important we take such
precautions.  A world you can't even imagine awaits you.  I'd love to be by
your side as you enter it.  I hope you'll grant me that honor."

      He was so sweet and genuine.  "I wouldn't have any other way."

      Q kissed my hand and pulled me to my feet.  "Come on, let's get you
something to eat."

      "So everyone just accepts our relationship just like that?  No
questions asked?"

      "Well no," he snickered.  "Nothing is ever that simple.  I'll have to
go before the Council of Brothers for an evaluation.  They have to ensure
every decision I made concerning you and the pledge class was completely
unbiased; that I wasn't influenced in anyway by my feelings towards you."

      "And you're okay with that?"

      "Why wouldn't I be?" he shrugged.  "The thought of giving you any
kind of special treatment never crossed my mind."

	"But that's just it.  How can they possibly judge your every
feeling and thought behind all your decisions.  And that's what you're
talking about."

	"I know."

	"But that's impossible."

	"Not for us."

	"Is this one of those things I'm not going to be privy to until
after I'm a Brother?"

	"You guessed it."

	"Sweet," I said sarcastically.

	The food court gave the best view of the ocean because the entire
section was built inside a glass cube.  Q wanted to take me to some fancy
restaurant but all I really wanted was a burger and fries.  We went to the
burger hut on the third floor and took a seat by the window.  Q excused
himself for a few minutes and came back with a green apple.

	"Is that all you ever eat?"

	He didn't answer me.  He just shrugged and took a bite out of his
apple.  I ate my meal in relative silence; enjoying the view and pondering
some of the things I learned that day.  Q watched me closely, reading my
every expression and movement.

	"Are you comfortable with all this?"

	"Yes I am," I insisted.  "It's just a lot to processes at one time.
I don't know."

	He smiled.  "You're wondering if my feelings for you are real or
another part of the test, aren't you?"

	"The thought did cross my mind."  I paused for a moment.  "Only for
a second."

	"Jacob I really do-"

	"Don't," I interrupted and reached for his hand.  "You don't have
to justify anything and you don't have to explain any more.  I get it.
Honestly I do.  And it was only for a second."

	As much as I disliked some of the things that he did, I understood
that was the job.  Every pledge before and after me will endure the same
thing.  It was a little different for us because I fell for him so that
elevated us to a different level.  But in the end, he cared for me like a
boyfriend when it mattered and guided me as my Big thru this whole
processes.  I couldn't ask for anything more.  It was the best of two
worlds.

	We were going back and forth about other stuff when I interrupted
him again midsentence.  "I swear we're being stalked," I joked.

	"What?"

	"I'm just saying...it seems everywhere we go the 'boys-in-black'
are with us."

	"What are you talking about?  What boys?"

	I nodded in their direction and Q turned to take a look.  "Maybe
I'm just reading too much into things.  Who knows maybe they're-"

	Q looked back at me with a look that drained the warmth from my
face.  "We have to go."  Q was on his feet and by my side before I could
formulate a response.  "Now Jacob."

	"What's wrong?"  I got up and tried to get our bags but he grabbed
me by the arm and rushed me along.  He told me to leave the bags and keep
moving.  "Can you tell me what's going on?"  I looked over my shoulder and
those two guys in black were getting out of their seat to follow us.

	What started off as a power walk turned into a full blown marathon
with us running across the mall like our lives depended on it.  I don't
know what bugged me the most; the fact that Q kept me in the dark or that Q
was running from something.  But something told me he wouldn't be running
at all if it wasn't because I was with him.  I don't even want to know what
the people around us were thinking.  Probably thought we were strung out on
meth or something.

	Q must have felt we were too exposed because he kicked open a door
labeled "Employees Only" and we headed into a maze of corridors.  I finally
had enough and yanked free from his hold.  "Q what the fuck is going on?" I
demanded.  I rested my arm against the vending machine to catch my breath.

	"Do you trust me?" he asked and placed his hands on my waist.

	"Of course I do but that doesn't-"

	"Then trust me now."  He looked around, for what I couldn't tell
you.  He pulled me into an employee break room and told me not to come out
until he came for me.  There was a desperation in his eyes that scared the
hell out of me.

	"You're freaking me out right now."  I went up to Q and held him
close.  "Can you tell me what's going on please?"

	"Those guys were following me.  I can deal with them but they might
try to go thru you to hurt me."  He kissed me suddenly.  "I will not let
that happened.  Stay here."

	"Q wait!"

	It was too late.  He was already out the door.  The break room had
a nice sized window that let me see everything that was going on in the
hallway.  Q stood by the vending machine just as the doors at the other end
of the hall burst open.  The two guys in black walked in very slowly,
weaving in and out of each other like two hunters approaching their prey.
I wasn't going to let this go down like that.  If this was a fight it was
going to be two on two.

      I tried to leave the room with no luck.  I don't know what Q did to
the door but I was locked in and pissed.  Kicking the door, I went back to
the window and slammed my palm against the glass.  All three of them
ignored me.

      The two guys stopped about twenty feet from Q.  They all just stood
there staring each other down.  My heart was racing so fast I thought it
was going to explode out of my chest.  I felt so fucking helpless I punched
the glass again.

      Then I thought we caught a break because a cop walked in behind Q.  I
was so relieved.  He got on his radio and said something about finding them
and started barking orders.  This was not some rent-a-cop mall jackoff.
This was the real deal.  "What are you guys doing up here?  This is a
restricted area."

      They ignored his ass.  I wanted Q to step aside and let him handle
things.  Since they weren't responding to his orders the cop drew his gun
and told them all to get on their knees and put their hands on their heads.
He was fucking yelling it.  He moved closer to Q with this gun pointed
right at his head.  "Get down now!"

      In one quick motion Q spun around and took the gun out of cop's hand
and with a single blow to the chest sent him flying down the hall.  The guy
in the trench coat saw his chance and went for Q.

      "Q watch out!" I yelled.

      Without missing a beat, Q turned back around to grab the vending
machine and threw it at trench coat like he was throwing a softball.  I was
stunned, speechless, freaked the fuck out.  I don't know what the right
word was to use to describe that moment for me.  I'm telling you the
vending machine traveled the full length of the hall and then some with
trench coat pinned behind it.  It slammed thru the doors and into the wall
so hard it shook the area.

      Unsure of what to do, I backed away from the window mumbling "oh my
god" repeatedly.  I'm shocked I didn't piss my pants!

      The second kid got a hold of Q and threw him against the wall.  The
wall cracked and crumbled under the extreme force.  The guy went to grab
him again but Q was able to get a hold of him by the neck and threw his ass
thru the break room window and took out half the wall as well.  The guy
landed just a few feet away from me.  He shook it off and got right back up
like it was nothing.

      "Holy shit!  Holy fucking shit!"  That was me yelling like a bitch
mind you.

      The guy got up only to catch Q's knee to the stomach and an uppercut
to the face.  He took a swing at Q but he deflected it, turned the dude
around and kicked his ass right out the window.  And I'm talking about the
kind of window where there is nothing but air on the other side.

      Q looked out the window for a moment before turning his attention to
me.  "Jacob..."

      I backed away from him and held my hands out.

      "Jacob please."  He took a few steps towards me and I backed away
again.  Before he could say anything else, trench coat came out of nowhere
and tackled Q thru yet another wall and into the open air.

      I stood by the gaping hole and watched as they physically crashed
thru all three levels of the parking garage below.  It was then I went into
flight mode and took off like a bat out of hell.  I don't even remember how
I got back to the car but I jumped in that bad boy and drove like my new
name was 'Lead Foot.'  I weaved in and out of traffic and honked like a mad
man.  After about a mile I saw that traffic was coming to a stop because of
some bullshit accident and drove off the road into the woods on this dirt
road.  I had no idea where I was going, I wasn't planning on stopping.

      I drove over so many holes and thru so much shit I'm surprised the
truck didn't fall apart on me.  The road came to an end and I went crashing
thru some thick brush and came into a clearing.  The view was beautiful. I
could see the mall and the dark waters of the ocean from there.  The only
snag was I was coming up on a cliff at about 80mph.  I slammed on the
breaks and pulled on the e-break as well, which was dumb because it cause
the truck to spin out of control.  The truck finally came to a stop with
both rear tires hanging off the side of the cliff.

      The beat of my heart drowned out everything else.  I looked into the
rearview mirror and all I saw was dark water.  Slowly and carefully, I
opened the door and stepped out of the SUV and backed away little by
little.  When I actually saw how the truck was sitting on the cliff my legs
buckled and I dropped to my knees.  Thirty seconds later, I threw up my
burger.  It took me a few minutes to compose myself and catch my breath.

      "Thank you God," I whispered and counted my blessings.  Just as I
managed to get back on my feet, the fucking SUV slid back and off the
cliff.  "Great."  And then came the loud crash at the bottom.  "Just
great."  I walked over to the edge and stared out at sea.  "I can't believe
this is happening to me.  Why fucking me?"  Suddenly Lady White didn't seem
so crazy anymore and her words started making more sense the more I tried
to comprehend everything that just happened.  "This can't be fucking
happening."

      After about five or ten minutes I managed to calm myself down again.
Not to say that I still wasn't freaked but I was doing better.  I don't
know how or why but I knew I wasn't alone right then.  I knew he was there
without laying eyes on him.  Considering everything I just went thru, I
couldn't believe I actually smiled.  He still had that affect on me.

      "Jacob," Q called.

      "I don't even know what to say."

      That's all we said for a long time.  For a while I was content with
hearing the waves crashing against the shore and the cool breeze on my
face.  But in the end I wanted answered.  I needed answers.  Fuck it! I
deserved some answers.

      I turned to face him and he was still my Q, looking back at me with
his deep, loving eyes and a face that yearned to be understood.  "What are
you?"  He took a step towards me and I immediately put my hand out to stop
him.  I think I actually felt his heart break in that moment; I definitely
saw it on his face.  "What are you?" I asked him again.  "All the things
I've seen and heard are true aren't they?"  Remembering what I was wearing
underneath the shirt I borrowed from Q, I took off the Hollister shirt and
revealed Q's green shirt with the three bullet holes.  That's what I
brought with me from my room.  I wanted to find the balls to ask him about
it and believe you me, I finally found them.  "This actually happened,
didn't it?"  I stuck my fingers thru the hole.

      "I can tell you what I am and hope you'll understand," he said
softly.  "Or I can you show you the truth and remove all doubt."

      "Show me."  I was so nervous my knees were shaking and my stomach was
spinning. Not that one could tell by looking at me because I did a hell of
a job holding it together.

      He moved up closer but this time I didn't try to stop him.  I'd say
he was about ten feet away from me when he took off his shirt and allowed
it to be carried away by the wind.  Extending his arms out to the sides, I
watched in awe as he slowly rose into the air.

      "Holy..."

      His left leg was perfectly straight while his right was bent slightly
at the knee.  He looked heavenly but that was nothing compared to what was
coming.  After hovering some twenty feet above the ground for a few
moments, it happened.

       He was incredible; a beauty beyond any imagining.  The light, so
deep and magnificent, radiated from him like a beacon.

      My god...if you could only have seen the light.

__________

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theinnercircletbh/

So there you have it - the 15th chapter of The Brotherhood, I hope you
liked it.  I will definitely continue the story, no problem, but it really
depends on you guys.  If you enjoyed what you read so far and would like to
read more please drop me an email at thewriterxx@aol.com or post in the
group.

Take care, X