Date: Tue, 8 Aug 2006 08:41:46 +0200 From: E. Galmor <the.perfect.form@gmail.com> Subject: The Perfect Form 1 - Blue Sapphire - Chapter 6 - The Most Beautiful Person They say there are some moments in a person's life that define who he is and the way he sees the world. Some moments that make him revise everything that he thought was true, and everything he thought false. The person will no longer be the same after having such a moment, such an experience. That is how I felt that moment. That moment when Christian's lips touched mine. That moment where his warm, soft, loving tongue entered my mouth, and with it bringing new life into my body, into my soul. His hand went behind my head, softly caressing my hair. It was perfect bliss. At that moment I knew what love was. I loved him more than I loved myself. I would have given my life 10 times for his. And if he left me, I'd die. He suddenly moved away from me. I felt the absence of his lips immediately. It was a horrible feeling. He had a look of horror on his face, and I felt my heart explode into a billion pieces. This was it. He was horrified he had kissed me, a man. He would probably never look at me again. The other shoe always drops. He put his hands over his face, and started crying hysterically. My own crying had subsided with his kiss, and I could do nothing but stare at him in despair. But I couldn't do it. I couldn't sit there and wait for him to scream at me. To tell me I seduced him and that I'm nothing more than a cocksucking faggot. To scream at me how I dared to do this to him after everything he had done for me. I got up and quietly started to walk away. Walk away and never look back. I would crawl to some dark and damp place and live out the rest of my life there, amongst the other rejects of society. I will never make the mistake of getting emotionally attached to someone ever again. Love is not for freaks like me. "Where are you going?!" his voice came from behind, and I froze. I didn't dare turn back. I guess he wasn't willing to let me go before he told me exactly what he thought about me. "Save it, Christian. I already know what you want to say. Let me save the little dignity I have left and just walk away." "Walk away?" He sounded shocked. I could hear him get up and walk towards me. He put his hands on my shoulder and spun me around. "If you leave me, I would die." His words sounded impossible. So impossible that I was sure I was dreaming, or still under the effect of that headless maniac's power. "What?" I managed to utter through complete shock. "Please don't leave me. Please. I wouldn't survive it." His eyes were filled with tears, and they left many trails down his cheeks. "But you... you were crying. You're not gay; you're horrified I made you do something so disgusting like kissing another man. What possible reason do you have for wanting me around you?" "You didn't make me do anything!" he screamed. "I did it all on my own." "Then why did you look so horrified afterwards?" I asked in a lowered voice. "I couldn't believe I... The thought that I was..." "Kissing me made you sick. It's okay. I understand, Chris. Really I do." He lifted my head up and looked me in the eyes, as if verifying I was really in front of him. He hugged me then, so strong I almost felt what physical pain was. "I was going to leave you," he whispered in my ear. "I was going to leave you because you were gay and I was so drawn to you. I was going to just leave you here and not even say goodbye. After I kissed you, after I realized what I almost did...how could I have even considered it? How can I possibly ever leave you? I've never felt so close to anyone in my entire life!" I had no words. He hugged me so strongly, and I wanted to hold him with all my strength. But I knew I had to be careful. I held him, held him there in that alley, never planning to let go. "Thank you for not leaving," I said then. "I hardly know you, Adam, and I can't explain it, but I'm in love with you." "I'm in love with you, too," I said crying. He started crying again as well, and we both stood there for a long time. He let go of me eventually and took a step back, looking at me. "Adam, you are the most beautiful person I have ever met. And I don't just mean on the outside. I don't know how I know this, but you have the purest soul. You think you are less than other people, that you are beneath them. But you're not. You're above them. You're above me." "I'm not above you!" I said. "You are the most caring and loving person... The first person to touch me... to hug me... to really care about me and I how I feel. I had a friend once, but he ran away screaming as soon as he found out who I was and what I could do. You didn't. You didn't run. And even if you say you were about to leave me, the fact is you didn't. You came back. No one has ever done that for me before. No one ever cared about me like you do. So don't you dare tell me I'm above you!" He hugged me again, and I hugged him back. "Thank you for saying that. You don't know how much that means to me. How much you mean to me." I smiled. I really smiled. I think it was the biggest smile my mouth ever produced. "We need to get on the bus," I said, realizing our 90-minute layover was almost done. "Wait. I have to tell you something first." We broke away from each other and he took a few steps back. "I think I have something that belongs to you. I don't know why I didn't tell you sooner. I guess I figured I could sell it. I have half a million bucks and I was still gonna pawn the necklace of the guy who saved my life. I'm such a greedy low life prick!" He dropped his head down, putting a hand over his eyes. My sapphire! I went over to him and took him in my arms once again. "I forgive you, Christian. I don't care what you were going to do. You may think you're a horrible human being, but I know better." He reached into his coat pocket then and pulled out my most precious possession, the only item that mattered to me. The necklace my father had Gertrude give me. He put it in my hand and I held it tightly. "My father gave me this, or had someone give it to me I guess. I never met him." "I'm sorry I took it. I found it in the parking lot the night you saved my life." I spun him around then, and he didn't object, though I'm sure he had no idea what I was about to do. I pulled the necklace over his head, and tied the object around his beautiful neck. "I want you to wear it." "No, Adam... I can't. I can't let you give me something so important. I'll just screw up again." "I trust you. I trust you with my life, and I trust you with my sapphire." "That's what it is?" he said with a little smile as he turned around. "It's beautiful." "I know," I said. "That's why it would fit perfectly with you." He smiled and took my hand. I was happy. So happy. "What about him?" I asked, referring to the bloody mess I left on the ground. "Fuck him. And fuck anyone else who tries to hurt you." "But when they find him... they would... they might find my finger prints." Christian started to say something, but never managed to get the words out of his mouth. It was as if God heard my words, for I could not explain what happened then. The body behind us seemed to have burst into flames. And not just any flame. In a matter of seconds, there was nothing left but ashes. And the fire went away as quickly as it came. Christian just stood there and stared at the charred remains, obviously very shocked. I was a little more prepared for such things after my recent encounters. "You said you love me, right?" he said to me then. "You know I do." "Then tell me everything. Everything you know." `It's not much." I said, suddenly saddened by the complete uncertainty of my life. "I want to help you, Adam, but you've got to trust me." "I do trust you. I trust you with my life." The words sounded weird to me all of a sudden. I was willing to put my life in the hands of a man I barely knew. But the feelings I felt for him were too strong. I couldn't ignore them. So, in that moment, I threw caution to the wind and decided to bare my soul for the first time in my life. On our way back to the bus, I filled Christian in on everything that happened to me up until now. He mostly nodded and didn't speak, but I could tell by his expressions that he was hurting for me every time I told him about another painful chapter of my pitiful life. They were the same expressions he had when I told him about what my mom did to me. When I finished, and we were about to get on the bus, he still hadn't said a word. Instead, he took my hand, and we boarded the bus together. I have never felt so complete. "I love you," he said then, when we took out seats. "I love you, too." We were quiet for about 10 minutes, but Christian's mind was filled with too many questions. "I don't trust her," he said abruptly. "Who?" "Eva. I don't trust her. I mean... first you just "happen" to meet her junkie sister in an alley, then you meet her, and she knows everything about you. What makes her more believable than that G woman?" He was right, of course. "I guess it's because one tried to restrict my movements while the other encouraged it," I found myself saying. "Yeah, you said G put a guard outside your door, right?" "Yeah, this short, stocky guy," I said with a half smile, remembering the guard's slightly ridiculous frame. "But still... She gives you some money and some cryptic messages about her brother and your father and here we are putting our lives in her hands." I don't know if he noticed it, but I did. He said "our lives", not "your life". That made me feel so good, I almost burst into tears again. I wasn't alone anymore. I was finally part of a "we". I didn't need to go through my life on my own. "Not exactly," I said. "I didn't tell her where I was going. She didn't even ask." "If that son of a bitch in Las Vegas found you, she can too. How did he find you anyway?" "I have no idea. Maybe I have some kind of tracking device on me." "Then what would be the point of Eva telling you to run? If she knows so much, surely she knows about it." I didn't answer him, and I don't think he expected an answer. At this point, he realized he knew pretty much as much as I did. "My mom died when I was five" Chris said after about 15 minutes of silence. "I'm sorry," was all I could think to say. "It was just my dad and me for a long time. He got mixed up in debts when I was 18 and got killed for it. They took his wedding ring as payment. Like killing him wasn't enough. I lived on the streets for two years and hung around with some bad people. On my 21st birthday, two weeks ago, I became very depressed. I remembered my dad and I had plans to go to Reno to visit my uncle Mike and go gambling and drinking in some casino. I got so mad I couldn't think straight. I tracked down the guy who had my dad's ring, and I begged him to get it back. He literally spat in my face. Called me a loser and a low life. He – a bookie. I wasn't going to let him win. He was going to pay for what he did to my father." He held my hand strongly then, as if trying to reassure himself I was there. I put my arm around his shoulders, and he rested on one of mine. "So you stole half a million dollars from him?" "Yeah. I broke into his house and took it. The idiot didn't even keep it in a safe; he put it all underneath his mattress. I knew that from someone I hung around with. What I didn't know was that the fucker had surveillance cameras all over the house. He got me on tape, and it didn't take him long to track me down. You know the rest." "Thanks for telling me this," I said and put my hand on his. "You saved my life," He told me, new tears starting to form in his eyes. "And you saved mine." -0-0-0-0-0- We've reached San Bernardino around 4:45 am. We were both awakened by the stop. We only had a 15-minute layover this time. Chris walked a few steps away from me to smoke, and I leaned on the bus. I missed his touch already. When he was done we decided to take a little walk around the bus stop. We held hands the entire time. "I was never able to admit my attraction to men until just now," he said suddenly. "So you are... gay?" I said carefully, trying not to say the wrong thing. "Bi is probably the more accurate term." His face dropped a little. "You are so brave, Adam. I would never have been able to go through all of the things you told me about. I thought my childhood was traumatic, but it was paradise compared to yours." "It's not really a competition," I said with a slight frown. He stooped then and hugged me. "I just can't get enough of you," he told me. "I swear to god you will never be alone again." I started crying a little. "You are the most beautiful person I've met in my entire life," I said then through tears. "Your outer beauty is only rivaled by your inner one." I felt it then - that slight tremor. I remembered seeing it before on Christian after we left Denver. "What's wrong?" "Nothing, why?" he asked, surprised. "You're shaking a little." "Oh... it's nothing. Just excited I guess." I smiled, though I didn't believe him. That sixth sense of mine that I developed recently was telling me something was wrong. We headed to the bus together for our final ride. In 90 minutes we would arrive in Los Angeles and our new life. ---------------------- Please send feedback to "The.Perfect.Form@gmail.com". Thanks!!!