Date: Mon, 13 Mar 2006 16:51:04 -0800 (PST)
From: Doc <trappperg@yahoo.com>
Subject: The Top Hat

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that it be ascribed to Trapperg and not the name that
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author. The story is completely fictional. Any
resemblance to your experience, or those living or
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			The Top Hat
			by Trapperg

	The caption of the auction listing caught my
eye so I just had to check it out further: "My
Great-granduncle's Top Hat".  It turns out the item
was a beautiful beaver top hat in pristine condition
but what really caught my eye was the included photos
of the uncle with the hat.  The photos were
sepia-toned and showed a tall, barrel-chested bear of
a man in his mid-to-late forties wearing dress and
formal fashions for the time period known as the
Edwardian era, or early 1900's.  I've always felt that
bigger men looked especially good in the clothes of
that era; the way the stiff collars accentuated a big
neck and waistcoats with watch chains highlighted a
broad belly.  Teddy Roosevelt is a prime example.  The
pipe-smoking uncle also sported a large handlebar
mustache and, in one picture showing him holding the
hat, salt-and-pepper hair with a severe case of male
pattern baldness.  "What a handsome man," I thought.
Even if I didn't have an interest in things of this
era, I would've had to buy that hat just because that
hunky man owned it.
	I placed a bid on the item, exorbitantly high to
assure my success in attaining it.  I really couldn't
afford it on my second-year high school history
teacher's salary, especially with the three-month
summer break coming up, but I just had to have it.
That man in the photo was my ideal, so healthy and
vital, something I'd always have to dream about from
inside my slim, smooth, blonde body.  I was a sickly
kid and unfortunately didn't grow out of it as an
adult, always coming down with one infection or
another- my medicine cabinet looked like a pharmacy
and I was always carrying around some bottle or other
of medicine.  "Oh well, I guess I'll just have to put
my vacation plans on hold this summer.  I can use the
time to study for some more teaching credits, I
suppose."
	The days until the auction ended crept by.
Incredibly, I was the only bidder.  I was wondering if
everyone was waiting until the final minutes to scoop
it up.  I was glad I had put in such a high bid.
Finally, the final day of the auction arrived.  I
could barely concentrate in my classes that day and
then stopped at the first cafe that I saw to check if
I had won--I couldn't even wait until I got home.  I
was elated to find that indeed I had won, and at a
very reasonable price.  I wondered why nobody else bid
on it but was happy that I had won it and that I would
be able to eat this summer.
	It seemed to take forever until the hat arrived.
As I carefully opened the box, I noticed a letter from
the sender.  It basically read that this belonged to
his beloved uncle and he was happy to see it going to
such a good home.  He also mentioned that he had some
other items of his uncle's--clothing, pipes, etc. that
he would sell me at a good price if I were interested.
 I couldn't imagine wearing any of the uncle's
clothes, as they'd be way too big for me, but maybe
one of the pipes.  I made a mental note to write him
back to see how much he wanted for these items.
	Now I just had to see the hat.  I pulled it out of
its box and it was indeed beautiful.  I turned it all
around in my hands and it was flawless.  Beaver fur
brushed nice and shiny, no rips, tears, or wear marks
anywhere.  The owner's initials were embossed in gold
on the inside.  Wow!  They were the same as mine!
Even the smell of the hat was wonderful.  Not musty at
all, but rich, kind of tobacco-like with just the
slightest hint of sweat, bringing back images of a
simpler time.  I entertained a notion of pleasuring
myself while smelling the hat but another urge won
out.  I put it on.  It fit perfectly, as if it were
made for my head.  Well, I may not be as big as the
original owner, but at least our heads were the same
size!  Not only did it fit perfectly, but also it just
felt right on my head.  I went to look in the mirror
and was very pleased with how it looked on me--it made
me look more distinguished and maybe a little bit
older in my workaday suit.  I've always been a bit of
a formal dresser, wearing a suit and tie whenever I go
out in public, maybe that's why this era appealed to
me so much--this type of dress was the standard, not
the exception.  The top hat felt so comfortable on my
head I wished I could wear it when going out but that
would be just too much.  I'd just have to settle for
wearing it around the house.  I then noticed that I
was beginning to get hungry so I went into the kitchen
to fix dinner.  As I didn't really enjoy cooking, I
usually would prepare a large meal at the beginning of
the week and then continue to eat it throughout the
week.  Today being only Wednesday, I still had a fair
amount of food left.  I doled out a portion and heated
it up, only to eat it fairly quickly and still be
hungry.  That was strange, usually a portion like that
would fill me up for the entire evening.  I scooped
out the rest of the food and just ate it cold.  What
had gotten into me?  I was probably going to pay for
that later in the evening, I thought.  In fact, my
pants were feeling a little tight so I undid my belt
and loosened the button.  "There, that feels better."
I then retired to my reading area and picked up a
great book I was reading about Teddy Roosevelt.
	I awoke the next morning still in my chair with my
book on my lap, top hat still seated perfectly on my
head.  I don't remember falling asleep but I did
remember glimpses of a dream in which I was a trusted
advisor to Roosevelt.  I felt refreshed but had to
hightail it if I was going to get to work on time.  I
showered and dressed in record time, stopping only to
note that my stomach was still distended from last
night's feast and that if I didn't watch it, I would
grow out of my clothes.  Then I was out the door,
upset that I was not able to take my top hat with me.
I comforted myself by telling myself that these were
the last two days of the school year and when that was
done I would be able to wear the top hat almost
continually for the next 3 months.  Strange to be
thinking things like that, almost like I was addicted
to it or something.
	The day passed ploddingly and finally it was done.
After a short stop at the market and another at the
tobacco store next-door, where a pipe caught my eye, I
was home and wearing the top hat.  The feeling of
having it on was very soothing and seemed to make me
feel warm all over.  Next, I was lighting the pipe
like an old hand.  "Wonder where I learned how to do
that?" I thought.  "Guess I read it in a book or
something."  The pipe felt good in my hand and the
tobacco smelled and tasted good.  In fact, there was a
familiar scent to the tobacco and I couldn't place it
right away but then realized that it was similar
smelling to the scent of the hat.  This hat was
somehow influencing me in many ways.  I had no idea
what was going on, but I liked it.  Cheerfully puffing
away, I went to the kitchen to make dinner.  I was
getting pretty hungry so I made something quick and
easy: meatloaf.  Usually a meatloaf would easily last
me a week but this time I resigned from the table with
less than a quarter of it left.  Again I wondered what
was going on but it felt good, even with the
overstuffed stomach, so I didn't question it.
	I retired to the reading room for another evening but
made a point of dashing off a message to the nephew
asking how much he'd be interested in selling the rest
of his uncle's things for.  While at my desk I decided
to do some research and within a short while I was
alerted to a new message.  It was from the nephew and
he said that he was just trying to clear out some
stuff and the uncle's possessions, while dear to him,
were just taking up way too much space and he'd let me
have it all for $250.  "$250," I thought to myself,
"one of those pipes he mentioned would sell for that,
much less the whole lot."  I replied that I would take
it all and that I would send a bank draft the
following day.  He replied that he would send it out
the next day as well, that he trusted me to send the
money and wouldn't wait for it to arrive, as I'd be
needing the stuff soon.  "Wonder what he meant by
that?" I thought.  I made a mental note to wake up a
little earlier the next day so I could stop and get
the bank draft while on my way to work.  Then,
loosening my pants, I sat down and began to read.
	I awoke in the same position as the previous day,
feeling rested and actually a bit more energized than
usual.  I also remembered having a dream of being
invited to dinner at Sagamore Hill, Teddy Roosevelt's
home in Oyster Bay, New York.  I reluctantly removed
the top hat and previous day's clothes and went into
the bathroom to shower and shave.  I was surprised to
see my reflection in the mirror.  My stomach was
definitely looking a little flabbier but something
about my body seemed a little beefier, sturdier.  I
then noticed that the stubble, of which I usually only
had a faint bit, had grown a little darker and seemed
to be filling in, as well.  "Maybe all the food I've
eaten had stimulated something," I wondered.  "And was
my hair thinning and getting darker, too?  That's
gotta be the sleepiness."  I shaved and showered and
dressed for my final day of the school year.  I made
it a point to wear something especially nice, as the
end of the year was always such a big thing for me.
My larger belly made it harder to close my pants but
when I did, the overhang of the belly looked good and
I stood sideways to admire it.  I then hurriedly
dressed and even noticed that my collar felt tighter
around my neck as did the suit coat around my
midsection.  Again, not a bad feeling.  I grabbed my
briefcase and was almost out the door when I
remembered the hat and pipe.  I still couldn't bring
myself to wear the hat in public but did put it on
once more for a few seconds before heading out the
door.  Walking to my car in what seemed to be a gait
affected by my new tummy, I lit the pipe and took a
nice big puff from it.
	All the excitement of a last day of high school took
my mind off my hat and my growing appetite, which was
somewhat sated by all the cakes and treats that were
brought in for celebration.  I hoped that I didn't
make too much of a pig of myself in front of the eyes
of the students.  Finally, the day was over and I was
heading home.  Puffing heartily on the pipe while
driving, my mind was wandering to the remaining
meatloaf and what else I'd have for dinner that
evening.  Pulling into the driveway, I noticed three
large steamer trunks and several other smaller boxes
piled in front of my door.  I couldn't imagine what
was going on; was someone moving in?  I finished
parking and went up to the door.  The packages were
all addressed to me, from the nephew.  I couldn't
imagine how he got them to me that fast, especially as
we had just concluded our transaction the night
before.  I put that thought out of my mind as I pulled
the items into the doorway, only stopping to replace
the top hat on my head.  "Ahhh, that feels better."
	The boxes were numbered so I opened the first one.
Inside, I found a large collection of beautiful pipes,
lighters and other accoutrements, well used but in
great condition.  The box also contained a letter from
the nephew.  I selected one of the pipes, filled it
and took a puff before reading the letter.  The smoke
from that pipe was better than anything I had
experienced previously.  It tasted great and filled my
lungs with wonderful heat and energy.  Right then and
there I picked up the pipe I had previously been
smoking and put it into the trash.  Then I picked up
the letter and began to read.  The nephew explained
that while never having met his great-granduncle, he
felt a kind of bond to him, as he was the only other
member of his family who preferred the company of men.
 The uncle had been well known in turn-of-the-century
society so had kept secret but his family knew and had
been accepting.  He had been a man who enjoyed life to
its fullest but had died at a relatively early age-
shortly after the photos on the auction posting were
taken--from an infected cut, something that we can take
care of very easily now.  He pointed out that if I
looked closely, I could see him favoring his leg in
one of the shots.  He continued to explain that while
it broke his heart to have to get rid of the uncle's
things, it was just impossible to keep them stored in
his small apartment anymore.  Again, he stated that he
was happy to see the things go to a good home.  I made
a mental note to ask this fellow if he'd be interested
in coming to visit the stuff every now and then.
	I was starting to get hungry so the other boxes would
have to wait.  I went into the kitchen and ate the
rest of the meatloaf in three bites before opening up
a pack of chicken breasts to cook.  I quickly prepared
them and put them into the oven.  While they were
baking, I took the opportunity to inspect some of the
other boxes.  It was like Christmas!  In them were
many wonderful items of jewelry such as pocket
watches, rings, tiepins, cufflinks, collar buttons,
and pince nez eyeglasses.  One box contained nothing
but dozens of stiff detachable collars--way too big;
another, several pairs of high quality shoes--again way
too big; and another, several hats.  At least the hats
would fit me.  One box had nothing but gloves, ties
and ascots, while the last one contained underwear,
silk braces, spats, and socks.  I held the boxer
underwear up and realized that even with my little
belly I could fit into one leg of them.  Everything
had been worn but was in pristine condition.  One
final long box contained several beautiful walking
sticks of finely carved wood, gold or silver.  Lastly,
only the steamer trunks remained.  I was about to dig
into them but then the timer went off in the kitchen
and it was chow time.  I hurried into the kitchen and
dug into my meal.  Before I knew it I had eaten half
of the chicken breasts that I had cooked and was
feeling sated, for the time being.
	I returned to inspect the steamer trunks, waddling a
little from my full stomach.  As I squatted to open
one of the locks, I heard a tearing sound and realized
that I had split my pants.  "Oh well, no time to worry
about that now, and besides, nobody's watching."  I
opened up the trunk and it was jammed full of
wonderful clothing in the Edwardian fashion: suits,
coats, pants, waistcoats, tuxedos, and shirts.  And
the smell was mesmerizing.  Not musty at all, but
instead, kind of musky, manly, with some of the same
tobacco undertones as the hat.  I could've sat and
smelled it all night but I wanted to get it unpacked.
The second and third trunks contained more of the
same.  This guy was quite a clotheshorse, but I guess
someone in society in that period would have to be.
As I was unpacking and hanging up the items, I would
hold up a jacket or pair of pants and fantasize about
being big enough to actually fit into them.  "Dream
on," I thought, "not skinny you."
	After a couple of hours I finally got everything hung
up and arranged.  It was taking up a lot of space in
my house, too, but this stuff was incredible.  What a
link to history; I've got my own little museum.  By
now I had a raging erection and decided to try on some
of the clothing, no matter that it was going to be
huge on me.  Since it was after six o'clock, I decided
to put on a tuxedo.  It took quite a while to put it
all on- fumbling with the stiff detachable collar and
tying the tie was especially frustrating- but it felt
good once I was finished, even though it didn't even
come close to fitting me.  No matter, my erection was
still there, and standing in front of the mirror, I
shot a big load in a matter of strokes.  That felt
really good.  I decided to keep the clothes on while I
was doing my evening's reading.  But first it was back
to the kitchen for a quick snack.
	As I was starting to expect now, I awoke the next
morning in my reading chair.  It felt good to have
slept in these great clothes all night and was afraid
that I may have rumpled them too much but they didn't
seem worse the wear.  I guess I didn't toss and turn
much in the chair.  I stripped off all the clothes and
went to the bathroom for my morning routine.  As
summer vacation was officially here, I was free to
take my time in getting ready for the day.  The image
that greeted me in the mirror was quite shocking,
though.  It looked like I had had a pretty bad night.
My face was ruddy looking and I was noticing some
wrinkles forming at the corner of the eyes.  My nose
seemed to be thickening some, too.  That wasn't the
end of it, though; the stubble I noticed yesterday had
thickened and filled in even more and there was even
less of my hair on top, now even darker.  I examined
the rest of my body and changes were forming there, as
well.  Patches of dark hair were sprouting around both
nipples as well as around my belly button.  I noticed
hair on my legs and arms as well.  Turning, I could
see the beginnings of hair on my back.  And, while
turning, I noticed that my belly had grown again.
"Well, all that food can't just be sitting there."
This time, however, I noticed that not only had my
belly grown but also my chest was getting thicker and
wider and my arms and legs were looking more solid and
bigger, right down to my hands and feet.  In fact, I
was enthralled by my meatier hands, something I'd
always associated with strength and virility.  I still
had a ways to go before anyone would call me anything
but skinny but it was a start.  I liked these changes.
 I noticed a throbbing in my member and looked down to
see that it seemed to be a little longer and thicker.
No complaints there!
	I ran the water and was just about to begin lathering
up for a shave when I remembered something else I
found in one of the boxes.  I returned with a straight
razor and proceeded to give myself the smoothest shave
I ever had.  I have no idea how I knew how to do it; I
just did.  I showered off and noticed more hair going
down the drain.  Oh well, that's a small price to pay.
 I felt vibrant, alive!  I wanted to share my
enthusiasm with the whole world.  I finished off in
the shower and attempted to dress.  It was hard
finding any of my clothes to fit me but I was able to
squeeze into one suit.  I would have to go around to
some charity stores today to see what I could find.
It would have been very strange to me not to have
dress clothes to wear, as that was what I had been
used to for so long.
	I finished dressing, made myself a big breakfast, and
got ready to go out and do some errands.  I needed to
go to the library to pick up and return some books, to
the charity stores for clothes, and also to the
grocer's for more food.  As I was walking out the
door, pipe in hand, always in hand now, I again felt a
twinge of regret at not wanting to wear the top hat.
I made a compromise: I wore one of the other hats from
the collection.  When I put it on, I felt a lot
better.  I was really starting to feel naked without
the top hat on my head.  While this hat helped assuage
that feeling, it still didn't feel the same.  I walked
out the door, whistling an old tune.
	When I got back that afternoon with my groceries,
books and some new clothes I was famished.  Before
doing anything, I exchanged my regular hat for the top
hat.  I then went to the kitchen and prepared a few
large sandwiches and downed them with about a
half-gallon of milk.  That seemed to be a small meal
for me now.  Finishing that, I proceeded to remove my
suit and shower and shave again.  I was going to put
on some of my new clothes but decided to put on one of
the uncle's suits instead.  It was fun to play around
with all the fashions, exchanging ties and ascots,
collars and waistcoats, along with all the jewelry
that went along with it.  I even put on a pair of his
gloves.  Just knowing that I was in his clothes was
oddly comforting for me, even if they were way too
big.  I felt like I was close to him, smelling his
smells, feeding off of the remnants of his life
contained in those clothes.  The thought of actually
communing with the hunky, handsome man who owned these
clothes was too much for me and I again produced a
nice load out of my newly upsized member.  I then fell
asleep for another energizing nap and dreamed I was
horseback riding with Teddy Roosevelt.
	When I awoke, it was time to make dinner.  I started
the dinner and then went to change into evening
clothes.  I was beginning to get the hang of these
old-fashioned clothes and was able to dress relatively
quickly this time.  When I returned to the kitchen,
dinner was just finishing and I unashamedly ate every
single bit of it this time.  I spent the rest of the
evening in similar pursuits and when I fell asleep in
the chair I couldn't help thinking that I couldn't
wait to see my belly in the morning.
	I was not disappointed.  My belly had grown quite a
bit.  It looked as if every single bit of food I had
eaten had gone right to my body.  All the previous
changes were more pronounced: belly bigger, body
beefier and hairier, neck thicker, face furrier and
wrinklier, hair thinner.  I could barely tell what was
happening to my privates, as the belly was getting in
the way--there was quite a size increase evident in the
mirror, though.  I also noticed that the facial
modifications seemed to be speeding up: my nose was
getting fuller, as were my lips and some formation of
jowls, my teeth seemed to be growing but yellowing
from tobacco, as well; there was a slight change in
the shape of my eyes as well as in the color.  I also
noticed that I was taller.  I could hardly recognize
myself anymore!  It took me longer to shave because
the beard was really getting rough.  In fact, I
decided to let the mustache grow so I wouldn't have to
shave that part.
	I went to get dressed in my new clothes and noticed
that even though I bought them to be very loose, they
were feeling a little tight.  I didn't have the money
to keep buying new suits so I didn't know what I was
going to do.  I'd have to worry about it when the time
came.  As it was Sunday and I had no errands to run, I
grabbed my hat, pipe and walking stick and went to the
park for a stroll.  It was a beautiful day and I was
feeling good.  I walked about five miles, which had
been unheard of for me before, and returned to my car
feeling exhilarated but also famished.  Fortunately
for me, there was a hot dog vendor in the parking
area, so I bought ten dogs and a couple of orders of
fries.  Finishing that off pretty easily, I returned
for five more.  That held me for a while.  I felt
great!  Such strength and vitality in this new body I
was developing.  And all I had to do was feed it!
Walking back to the car, realizing that my gait had
really taken on a big man's lumber, I noticed several
attractive young men checking me out.  That was
something I had never experienced in my life.  I
wasn't partial to outdoor encounters so I decided to
head over to a local tavern and try my luck there.
Sure enough, shortly after entering I was approached
by a handsome young man who greeted me with the line,
"Hello Sir, what's a nice Daddy like you doing today?"
 He called me a Daddy!  I was going to like these
changes, although I still wasn't sure how I was going
to explain them once the school year started.
	We went to his place for an extended session.  I had
such vitality and stamina; I felt like I could go over
and over for hours.  He was really into my belly, now
very furry, rubbing it with his hands as often as
possible.  His rubbing would really arouse me and
before long, we'd be at it again.  He also liked
licking my fat ass, only stopping periodically to
extract a hair from his teeth.  Finally, I'd had
enough.  We showered and I dressed.  Leaving, I said,
"Look for Daddy in the park next week, boy."  My voice
had gotten very deep and sounded very strong and firm.
 I loved it.  I went home and ate a mound of food,
then shaved and showered again before changing into
the evening's clothing.  The uncle's clothing seemed
to fit even better this evening, although it still had
some way to go.  I spent the evening as usual and
awoke refreshed in the morning.
	I practically bounded to the bathroom to see the
changes that had taken place overnight.  I noticed
that the mirror seemed foggy as if I had just come out
of the shower.  Suddenly, I realized that my eyes were
aging, too.  I was dismayed at this new development
when I suddenly remembered the pairs of pince nez
eyeglasses.  I pulled one out of the drawer and,
placing it on my nose, realized I could see perfectly
again.   The glasses looked great on my face, really
complimenting it.  Puffing mightily on my pipe, I
began to survey the new day's changes.  The first
thing I noticed was the mustache--it was huge!  Very
thick and dark, with some gray peeking out of it.  The
ends were starting to get longer than the rest of it.
The hair on my head was almost completely gone now,
with what was left turning salt-and-pepper.  The
facial features continued to thicken and I looked
about 20 years older now, but much more handsome than
I had been previously.  I was beginning to look like
someone familiar but couldn't put my finger on it.  My
body had continued its progress as well, nice sized
belly, broad thick chest, bull neck, tree trunk legs
and beefy arms.  I was loving it!  I couldn't see my
member, but from the weight of it, I could tell that
it had grown as well.  I turned sideways, pulled up my
belly and was shocked at what had happened down there.
 It was enormous and thick, with good-sized balls
hanging low.  Something seemed different and all of a
sudden I realized what it was: I was uncircumcised!  I
reached down and stuck my finger between the foreskin
and glans.  What a sensation!  I shot a load right
there.  I was so excited I couldn't stand it.  I stood
there, rubbing my expansive belly, playing with my
nipples and just enjoying the power that coursed
through my new body.  It didn't take too long before
another load shot out.  I realized that I could be at
that all day, and I was itching for my pipe and hat,
so I shaved and showered as fast as I could.
	This time I didn't even bother trying to put on the
charity store clothes.  I knew they'd be too small.  I
went right for the uncle's clothes.  I outfitted
myself in a fine ensemble and finished it off with
some of the best jewelry in the collection.  The
clothes were still a little big on me, yet looked
good.  I was pleased with the result and after wolfing
down a huge breakfast, proceeded to drive downtown and
stroll about.  I didn't care who was looking at my
antique ensemble, including the top hat and cane.  I
felt good, felt right.  I strolled about all day,
treating myself to a huge lunch at a fine restaurant,
taking in all the stares, both appreciative and
disapproving.  I was having a great time!  I finally
made it home around dinnertime and, after changing,
made myself an enormous dinner, complete with a cake.
I was more stuffed than usual and didn't even get any
reading in before falling into a sound sleep.
	The next morning I again hurried to the mirror to see
the changes and wasn't disappointed.  The facial
changes had continued: the mustache had continued its
growth and was now a formidable handlebar, the hair
had completely cleared my head and I was left with
just a ring of gray hair surrounding a smooth and
shiny scalp.  The wrinkles deepened and features
thickened.  I was a ruggedly handsome man in my late
40's.  My body had grown some, too.  Again, the
feeling of rubbing my great belly was too much for me
and I shot a load without even touching my member!  I
was really looking forward to wearing the uncle's
clothes, as I was sure they'd fit me perfectly.  "The
uncle!  That's it!  That's who I look like!"  I
grabbed a hand mirror and went to the look at the
pictures I had saved from the auction listing.  Sure
enough, the uncle's face and mine were identical.  I
realized that the clothing and pipe must've contained
a lot of his essence and somehow it was transferred to
me.  Now I really couldn't wait to put on his clothes.
 I sped through my shower and shave and excitedly ran
to the closet to dress.  I dressed slowly and
deliberately this time, enjoying the feeling of
dressing in these big man's clothes that would fit me
perfectly.  First the boxers and undershirt, then
socks and garters.  Next, a crisp white shirt with
stiff collar and exquisite cufflinks.  The stiff
collar of the shirt fit snugly around my neck and it
felt so right.  Next, the suit pants with braces.
Pulling the braces over my beefy shoulders and
watching them lay atop my belly was quite a thrill.  A
handsome pair of oxfords finished up the lower end.  I
then selected an ascot tie, even though I wasn't as
good at tying them, and attached it with a pin that
matched the cufflinks.  The waistcoat was next,
fitting snugly across my belly, accented with a gold
pocket watch and chain.  Finally the suit coat and
gloves and of course, the top hat.  The sensation of
the collar on my neck got me aroused again; I could
feel my "little uncle" stiffening up beneath my belly.
 I turned to the mirror and quickly shot a huge load.
Then, I hurried into the kitchen and practically
inhaled everything I could get my hands on before
heading out for the day.  I felt fantastic, more alive
than I had ever been.
	Strolling the streets, I noticed another handsome
young man turning his attention to me.  I caught his
eye and motioned him over.  He was enthralled by me
and soon we were in his room filling him up with me.
I felt full of vitality.  After several hours and many
loads, he begged for respite.  I showered up, dressed,
and just left him in a heap on the bed.  After another
huge lunch I was on the streets again, just enjoying
the day and life.  What a wonderful thing to have
happened to me!
	After several more hours of enjoying my new persona,
it was time to go home for the evening.  Arriving
home, I quickly ate, showered, shaved and changed into
evening wear.  I was having too much fun to sit at
home so I decided to go out to a swanky club.  I
looked and felt great and my vitality must've been
apparent because it seemed the whole club turned and
watched as I entered the room.  One strapping young
man separated himself from his companions and headed
my way.  He unabashedly told me what he wanted and
that he was determined to get it.  Who was I to
disappoint?  He was staying in the club's hotel so we
went up to his room.  He had plenty of food there to
keep me going, too.  By the time we were done, it was
well after midnight.  I showered up and headed home.
What a great time I was having!
	I decided to sit and read for a few minutes to wind
down before going to sleep.  As I was selecting a pipe
from the pipe drawer, I came across a tin of tobacco
that I must've thrown in there by mistake.  I opened
it up and noticed there was some tobacco in there.  It
had to be at least 100 years old but still smelled
fresh, so I filled a bowl with it and began to puff
away.  I was in heaven, actually smoking the uncle's
same pipe tobacco.  It tasted marvelous, so smooth,
unlike even the finest tobaccos of today.  "Ah, to
live in that time period..." I thought.  I continued to
smoke as I made my way to my reading chair and picked
up the book on the Russo-Japanese War that I had been
wanting to finish.  I had long lost that lightheaded
feeling from smoking tobacco but this new stuff was
making me feel strange, for sure.  Maybe it wasn't
such a good idea to smoke this stuff....
	I awoke in my chair, as usual, but something didn't
seem right.  For one, what happened to the air?  It
was hot as Hades in here.  My pipe was in my hand but
it looked almost new.  Looking around, my apartment
had changed drastically.  Instead of being in one
corner of my small flat, I was now in a richly paneled
library populated with thousands of ornately bound
books.  The empty desktop caught my eye and I thought,
"Where's my computer?" then realized that I only had
the vaguest idea of what a computer was, or did.
There were some interesting noises coming from the
street outside, sounded like hoofbeats.  I got up to
go to the window and almost fell down from the pain in
my leg.  Did I get up and bump it in the night?  I
would examine it in a minute but first had to find out
what was going on.  I went to the window and peeked
through the curtain.  The street was teeming with
horse-drawn carriages and lots of foot traffic.
Merchants were selling fruit from pushcarts.  What's
going on here?  Is this a joke?  Could I really have
gone back in time?  Suddenly I realized that I hadn't
gone back in time, I was in my right time.  I hurried
to the desk and quickly jotted a few notes about the
future as my memory of it rapidly dwindled.  Just then
a striking man in his early twenties entered the room,
startling me.  He had very refined, movie-star good
looks and was dressed like a butler.  He was looking
at me with admiration and respect and I thought he was
beautiful.  Before I had time to think anymore he
said, "I'm sorry, Sir, but you looked so comfortable
there I decided to let you continue to sleep."
"That's okay Charles," I said.  "Please go draw me a
bath."  How did I know his name?  I'd worry about that
one later but first I had to find out what was going
on with my leg.  I pulled up the leg of my pants and
saw a bandage there. I pulled it off and to my horror
I saw a large cut in my leg with spreading redness and
swelling all around it and tracking up the leg.  It's
a wonder I was able to walk on it at all.  Then I
suddenly realized the nephew's letter telling me that
his uncle had died of an infected cut.  "Oh, the
incredible twist of fate that I have experienced.  I
finally experience a bit of vitality and it is about
to be taken away from me."  I decided to make the most
of it, so I hobbled off to the bathroom for a bath and
fresh clothes.  Charles had prepared everything for me
and I handed him my clothes, shaved and eased my bulk
into the tub.  I tried to cleanse the wound as much as
I could but it looked hopeless.  The infection seemed
to be spreading as I watched.  I vowed to tolerate it
as long as I could but I could tell that the infection
was already entering the bloodstream.  I finished in
the bath and Charles again appeared, this time with a
bottle in his hand.  "I found this strange bottle in
your jacket pocket, Sir.  Did you get these salts from
the doctor?"  "Hand me the bottle, please."  I
recognized the bottle and my heart jumped into my
mouth as I choked out, "Yes they are.  Leave me while
I administer them."  I turned the bottle over in my
hand and reread the word for which I would thank my
lucky stars for dozens of wonderful years of life to
come: Cipro.  My sickliness had finally paid off and
the bottle that I had in my jacket pocket had made the
trip through time with me.  Remembering what they were
for (but also fortunate that the directions were
printed on the bottle), I took two of the pills and
hobbled out to see what clothing Charles had selected
for me for the day.
	Charles first handed me my full pipe, lit it and then
he offered a suit I recognized as one of my favorites
of those in the trunk.  Charles paired it with a
beautifully embroidered waistcoat and ascot tie, which
he tied for me.  "You were tying them wrong, Sir," he
said.  "See how this end goes over this one here?"  An
explosion went off in my head.
       "You are the nephew!" I blurted out.  "Yes and
no, Sir," he replied.
       "Why did you do this for me?" I asked.
	He took my hand in his and said, "About a year ago,
you rescued me from the streets and took me on as your
servant, refining my habits and training me in the
ways of service.  After a few months, our relationship
progressed.  To the outside world we are butler and
master, in this house we are lovers.  Even your
closest friend, President Roosevelt, suspects nothing.
 I am the happiest I could ever imagine to be and you
seem to be enjoying the relationship, too.  Without
those salts you brought back with you, you would be
dead in two days and not only would I be turned out
into the streets, but would lose the only man I ever
loved.  After you died, I vowed to dedicate my life to
figuring out how to prevent you from dying.  I spent
many, many years learning how to distill your essence
from the personal items your family so generously let
me keep, then more time learning how to do the
transfer, then finding and attracting the perfect
candidate and finally, the transport back to this
time.  As it turns out, I also had to prevent myself
from dying before I could find the right person who
could host the change.  That person had to be a good
candidate, both physically and mentally.  You were
perfect in both cases.  Your sickliness assured that
you would be carrying around the necessary medicines
while allowing more ease in transferring the essence
into your body; your mind was amenable to a physical
change while already familiar with, and accepting of,
life in this time period.  I had actually been ready
and waiting for about twenty years, advertising in
various venues, but was having no luck; the ad was
specially designed to attract only the ideal
candidate.  I was just about to give up and die a
broken old man when you came along.  Now here you are,
on the mend from your injury, and we are free to live
a long life together.  Welcome home, Sir!"
	"That's bully!" I boomed and proceeded to remove his
clothes.