Date: Thu, 08 Mar 2001 21:38:10 -0800
From: Roderick Shafton <bawdypen@hotmail.com>
Subject: BROWNOSER

(scat)

              BROWNOSER
   "I'll see you later, Alex. Tell the girls I'll be there at
seven. I gotta go brown-nose the manager for this month's
rent." He winked.
   "Yeah? What's the deal? Some old lady starved for dick?" He
laughed.
   "I wish! No, the manager's a man."
   "Hunh?" He looked suspiciously at his buddy. "Hey, what've
you been up to, Allan? Don't tell me you blow some old faggot
for the rent! Or does he blow you?"
   "Neither, actually. You wouldn't believe it if I told you."
   "Try me," he insisted, putting his hands on his hips.
   "Okay, you asked for it. When I said I hadda go 'brown-
nose' the manager, I meant just that. GIVE HIM A BROWN NOSE!"
He laughed.
   "Y-you mean...he licks your...your ASSHOLE?!" he gasped.
   "Never. I don't know why, he's certainly filthy enough for
it. He manages all the apartments, but he happens to own his
and mine outright. Every 1st Thursday after classes I go to his
apartment. We don't exchange a word. We both get naked. He sits
on a kitchen chair and I climb up onto the table and kneel
there with my ass in his face."
   "Jeez! He just sticks his nose on your butt, hunh?"
   "Nope! Brown-nose isn't just an expression, buddy. He looks
at my asshole and jacks off. When he's ready, I take a shit...
right on the table! He watches my turds fall out! Then as soon
as I'm done I have to turn around and watch him."
   "GOOD GOD! HE SHITS TOO?!!"
   "No. He leans over and jams his nose into the mess I made!
He rubs it around until he's got lotsa brown shit all over his
nose. Then he leans back in the chair and looks at me looking
at him. He goes crazy smelling my shit and shoots all over
himself! He has a towel ready, and wipes his nose clean. Then
he uses his hands to wipe my asshole off. As shitty as it
might, or might not be, he'll keep getting it on his fingers--
smelling it--and wiping it off on the towel. Then I leave."
   "That's the weirdest fucking thing I've ever heard! And he
never touches you or anything?"
   "Nope. Just digs the smell of my poop! Enough for free
rent."
   "Jeez! No wonder you walk around as if your shit don't
stink!" he couldn't resist.
   "This is one time I'm glad it does. The more it stinks, the
more he shoots out of his cock...and he's got a really big one!
Whatever keeps him happy. He's only about 35, and I don't even
know for sure if he's even queer. Maybe he's just a big-dicked
shit-sniffer."
   "Whadda you mean, 'whatever keeps him happy'?"
   "Well, nuthin'...I mean, well, if he did want to blow me or
something like that, it'd sure be worth the rent, don't you
think?"
   "I guess. But now I feel kinda funny about something I was
going to ask you."
   "What's that?"
   "Well, I was going to see if you wanted a roommate. Rents
keep going up and it's gettin' tight. But..."
   "Aw, you just dreamed that up right now!" Allan chucked him
on the arm. "Wanna get in on the dirty action, hunh?"
   "NO! Honest, I was really thinking about it." Alex blushed.
   "Just kidding, buddy. But I don't know what he'd say about
you moving in. It's great with me, but..."
   "Well, wouldn't he agree if I paid half the rent--in cash--
and you paid your half...the way you do?"
   "Hmmm," Allan thought a moment. "What if he suggests that
you pay the same way?"
   "SHIT!"
   "Yeah."
   "No, I didn't mean...I meant...cripes! I couldn't do that!"
   "Why not? Think of the money we'd have for dating and
school paying no rent."
   "It is a lot of money," Alex got thoughtful. "But..."
   "It's a snap, Alex. How the fuck do you think I manage it?
You go in, you take a shit, you leave. Bingo! Come on, go with
me today and we'll see what he thinks of the idea. Could, uh,
could you shit right now if you had to?"
   "NOW?! Uh, I don't know," he said nervously, "I guess so."
   "Good. Come on!"
   "Allan! You're not just gonna toss me in there and leave
me, are you? I...I wouldn't be able to..."
   "Course not. I'll be with you. Maybe he'll want us to do it
at the same time. He'll go nuts seeing two butts shitting! I
know he likes to watch it, or else he'd just have me deliver my
turd in a bag."
   "I...I couldn't shit with you watching! OR ANYBODY!"
   "Sure you can. Just gotta do it once, that's all. Then it's
easy. I'll help you through it, don't worry."
   "What kind of help?" he glared.
   "Whadda you think?" Allan asked, exasperated. "I'll shove
my fist up your ass and pull your turd out myself, you idiot!
Aw, I'll just talk you through it, that's all. Quit getting
crazy ideas, willya. This whole thing is a deal for free rent.
Nothing more."
   "Wha...what would the girls say?"
   "Are you stupid, or just blabbering? We don't tell anyone!"
   At the door, the manager beamed until he saw Alex. His eyes
narrowed in apprehension that he wasn't about to get his rent.
But Allan smiled and ushered Alex in ahead of him. The man
closed the door behind them. Allan whispered for Alex to go
into the kitchen area, then he motioned for the manager to come
sit on the couch while he explained.
   Standing there feeling foolish, Alex watched Allan and the
manager engage in a whispered conversation. Than Allan hopped
up and came toward him, smiling.
   "All set, buddy," he clapped his hands. "Let's drop some
turds!"
   "Uh, should we...you know, talk?" Alex started to strip,
noticing that the other two were doing so.
   Allan turned to the manager. "Mr. Quilp?"
   "Hell, yes. I just thought not talking made it easier on
you. I don't mind. And call me Don, will you?"
   "Okay, Don," Allan said, feeling like a veteran in these
affairs and actually glad he could voice some feelings. "Two
hot turds coming up! One for sure. I've been holding this one
in for two days." He helped a blushing Alex onto the sturdy
table, getting him to move so his ass was aimed properly. Then
he joined him.
   "Damn!" the manager exclaimed, looking at Alex' spread
anus. "Nice asshole, kid. Do you shoot big turds like your
buddy here?"
   "Uh, I guess so," Alex half-whispered, burying his head in
his arms.
   "Alex is kinda nervous and embarrassed," Allan explained.
   "But not you, hunh Allan? You kinda dig taking a dump for
the old shit-smeller, doncha? You love to see me grind my nose
into the mess you make, hunh?"
   "Well, it is d-different," he stammered.
   "Hey, relax. I'm not challenging you. This is supposed to
be fun. For me, anyway. I know I'm weird. I dig watching young
guys shit. It gets me so hot I want that smell on my nose while
I blow my wad."
   Allan settled beside Alex. "Don? Can I ask you a personal
question?"
   "Don't be silly. Of course. I'm about to smell your shit."
   "Are you queer?" Alex gasped at his question.
   "Nope. But can you imagine me trying to get a girl to do
this with no emotional strings attached?"
   "Oh. Well, if you like shit so much, how come you don't
lick it?"
   "I just figured you probably had enough handling me
smelling it. Want me to lick your turd, Allan? Wanna see me
lick your shits?"
   "No, uh...well...I just thought...if you want to."
   "OK. I'll lick your shits. I'll lap my tongue over your
turds and you can watch me. When you're done, I'll lick the
sweet shit off your assholes, too! How's that?"
   "Aw, fuck!" Alex gasped.
   "Hey, OK, Don!" Allan cried. "Fuck, man, go ahead and put
your tongue up my ass right now and I'll shit right on your
tongue!"
   Don playfully slapped Alex on the rump. "Come watch this!"
Then he pushed his face into Allan's ass and smelled his
asshole. "GAWD, I LOVE THE SMELL OF AN ASSHOLE!" He started to
lick at it.
   "Uh," Alex started, tentatively, "h-how'd you get like
this?"
   Don pulled away long enough for a short explanation. "When
I was 12 a gang of boys held me down while one of them took a
shit on my face. I hated them! But ever since then, I've been
wanting to do this. The memory of that hot smell just never
went away. NOW GIVE ME SOME HOT, SMELLY TURDS, BOYS!"
   Alex stared in wonder as Allan shit out his turd. Don
licked it all the way. When the huge turd finally fell onto the
table, Don pulled his cheeks apart and sucked his asshole
clean. Alex was so amazed, he hardly even noticed the awful
smell. Then Don looked at him.
   "You ready to shit for me, baby? Got a big fine turd up
that pretty ass of yours? A nice smelly one?"
   Alex nodded, numbly, and began to turn around.
   "Wait. You wanna watch? Lay on your back." In position, Don
lifted his legs, and got Allan to hold them way back, leaving
his anus lewdly exposed and vulnerable. Don pulled his chair up
close, spread the smooth buttocks, and put his mouth right up
to the gaping asshole.
   "Great asshole!" he smelled and licked it sensuously,
driving his tongue into the boy's dank pit. He told Allan to
hold Alex' head up. Then he looked up at Alex and calmly
declared, "Shit in my mouth!"
   Something suddenly snapped in Alex' brain. His dick was
getting stiff. "AW, FUCK! FUCKIN' SHITLICKER! OH, EAT MY HOT
SHIT!" He bolted a monstrous turd into Don's mouth, causing the
man's eyes to pop! Half stuffed with shit, he held the boy's
bottom firmly and pushed forward over the sweltering column and
forced his mouth over the greasy turd until it pushed against
the back of his throat! He held it there, working his lips and
tongue over the shit until he finally had to pull off and gasp
for breath! Alex' long turd continued out, then arched and fell
out. Immediately, Don pushed his face into the grimy crevice
and sucked the shit from Alex' gaping anus. Abruptly, he stood
up and reached over. He grabbed Allan's turd and stuffed it
into his mouth. Then he thrust his hips forward just as his
big, untouched cock shot high, splattering bursts of cum all
over Alex!
   "AW, FUCK MAN! SUCK MY SHIT!" Allan cried, reaching down to
jerk Don's cock to completion. "BITE IT, MAN! EAT MY GOOP!"
   His steely grip on Don's pecker caused the organ to spurt
out more streams of hot cockjuice. Alex was trying to dodge it.
Don moaned loudly and looked at Allan. He pulled the turd from
his mouth, then bit into it, quickly gulping down more than
half of it before his thunderous orgasm abated.
   "Man, you're really filthy, Don," Allan laughed when they'd
dressed. "Smellin' butts...lickin' shitty assholes...eatin'
turds!"
   "Yeah," Don admitted, "Wait'll you see what I do next
month!"


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