Date: Wed, 4 Dec 2002 15:03:19 -0800 (PST)
From: rimpigfl <rimpigfl@yahoo.com>
Subject: MY DAUGHTER'S EX BOYFRIEND 14

Disclaimer: Usual stuff. This is fiction. Didn't happen to my knowledge.
Some of the parts I hope never does.

This story is dedicated to several people:

My friend Bob in Illinois who's constant love and support over the last few
years has seen me through some very rough times. Thank you, Bob, for always
being there.

My friend Geoff in England who's love and concern saw me through some of
the very rough patches I went through writing this.

My friend Joshua, wherever you are. I promise, Joshua, that I will never
forget.

And last, but NEVER least - to all Gay and Bi-Sexual members of the United
States Marine Corps who continue to serve with bravery and distinction
despite the persecution that they risk.  To me, they are the true Heros.

MY DAUGHTER'S EX BOYFRIEND
Part 14

By RimPig (c) 2002

When I woke up the next morning, Troy was in my arms and Randy was no where
to be seen. I looked around but he was evidently up. I slipped away from
Troy and quietly pulled on some gym shorts and went to find him.

I checked the kitchen first, but he wasn't there. However, there was
evidence he had been because there was half a pot of coffee on. I poured
myself a cup and walked in the living room. I saw one of the french doors
open so I figured he went out on the patio so I went out to find him.

He was sitting in a chair, wearing my robe which he evidently found hanging
in the bathroom, looking out over the back yard. I walked up behind him,
leaned down and hugged him and kissed his cheek. He reached his hand up and
stroked my face.

"How are you doing?" I asked, sitting down next to him.

"Ok, I guess. I called the hospital. There's been no change." he said.

"Dr. Cartwright said it would take time. It hasn't been that long." I said.

"I know." his voice sounding tired and dejected. "Mike, what am I going to
do if he dies? What the fuck am I going to do?"

"I agree with Troy. Now is not the time to be asking those kind of
questions or even thinking about them! We've got to think positively about
this! We got to believe that Jamie going to make his way out of this." I
told him.

He looked over at me and I saw a tear slipping out of one eye and down his
cheek.

"I'm trying, Mike! I really am! But all my medical knowledge is working
against me on this one. I know what the chances are. I saw the x-rays, the
CAT scan and the all the preliminary tests. The chances of Jamie ever
coming out of the coma that he's in are slim. Much less him ever being
anywhere near what he was again. What is entirely possible is that he will
enter a vegetative state that he will never wake up from." Randy said.

"But you can't know that for sure. You can't give up hope! Not this soon!
You know as well as I do that miracles happen everyday. As a doctor, you've
got to have seen plenty!" I said.

"Yes, I have. Always when I least expect it. Believe me, Mike, I do believe
that miracles can happen! But I can't just sit and wait for one with
Jamie." he said.

"Why not?" I asked. "What's stopping you?"

"We both have living wills. I'm Jamie's 'medical surrogate', just like he's
mine. I'm the one who has to make certain decisions if Jamie is unable to."
Randy said.

"You have to be the one to 'pull the plug', in other words." I said,
horrified at the thought that I would ever be in that position where Troy
was concerned.

"Well...yes and no. Jamie has already made the decision through his living
will that he doesn't want to be kept alive artificially - on machines. It
is my responsibility to see that those decisions are carried out because he
can't. So you see, it's not my decision. It's Jamie's. But I'm the one that
has to carry out his wishes and that is why I don't have a lot of options
if Jamie doesn't pull out of this coma." Randy finished.

"God! I had no idea. Randy, I don't know what to say." I looked at him with
tears welling up in my eyes for his pain.

"Mike, don't say anything. I've got to get dressed and get to the hospital
to see Jamie. I'll spend the night there from now on." he said.

"Why? You don't need to do that! You don't need to be alone. Especially not
with this."

"Mike, I can't stay here. Don't you see that?" he said, a wistful sadness
in his voice.

"Why not?" I begged him.

"I woke up with you holding me. There was so many times before I met Jamie
that I wanted that, dreamed of that - even prayed for that! And there was
Troy in my arms and he at times reminds me so much of Jamie in so many ways
that I've come to love him almost as much as I love you and Jamie. That's
when I knew that I had to get out of there or something we would all regret
would happen." he said.

"What makes you think we would all regret it?" came Troy's voice from
behind us.

We both turned and looked in shock. Troy was standing there completely
naked with a cup of coffee in his hand, looking back at us.

"Troy, I..." Randy started to say something but Troy cut him off as he sat
down between us.

"Look, Randy. I understand. I really do.  I know how much you love Jamie
and I also know how much you love Mike. Under normal circumstances things
like making love to your ex-lover without your current lover knowing about
it would be considered not a good thing to do. I'd even be the first to
agree with that. But these aren't exactly normal circumstances, are they?
Let's face facts. We're all males. We understand that sometimes males need
sex for comfort - a way of blocking out pain. If you needed either or both
of us for that reason, I don't think either of us would turn you down. Nor
would either of us hold it against the other." Troy said.

I was stunned! It was like a science-fiction movie. I wanted to ask who
this was in Troy's body!  And better yet, how was he daring to speak for me
as well as him?

"Look, Troy..." I started to say but he interrupted me.

"No, Mike, you look. Ok, I was the one who was jealous of you and Randy. I
was the one who was afraid of him taking you away from me. But I've had
time to think about it. I have watched and I have listened to the two of
you. Twice now when you didn't even know that I was around.  Those times
were NOT intentional, by the way. They just happened. But I know that what
I'm saying is true. Mike, you could make love to Randy and still love me
and not leave me, couldn't you?" he asked me.

"Yes. I could." I admitted. "I don't want to leave you. I do love you. I
hope you know that by now. But you're playing with fire here, and everybody
might get burned by it!" I said.

"I agree!" Randy said. "You're not taking Jamie's feelings into
consideration here, Troy."

"No, I'm not. Because they really don't enter into this, do they? If Jamie
were ok, if he was there to offer you any comfort that you needed, we
wouldn't even be having this discussion, would we?  But he's not. And we
all really wish it were otherwise, but it's not. I know that Mike and I
want to do anything we can do to help you get through this crisis. I kept
thinking about this last night after I left the hospital. What if that were
me instead of Jamie? How would Mike deal with it? The answer to that one
was easy. He'd turn to you and Jamie wouldn't he?" Troy asked Randy.

"Yes, I suppose he would." Randy said quietly.

"Suppose? I don't have any doubt of it! And I would want him to! I would
want him to have whatever comfort he could find. Especially with someone
who loves him so much. Now given those circumstances, I don't really know
what Jamie's decision would be. I have no way to speak for him on that. I'm
only speaking for me. All I'm saying is that if it is that kind of comfort
that you need, you only have to ask and nothing will ever be said about
it." Troy said.

"Troy, I don't know what to say. Your offer touches me deeply. It really
does. I just don't know that I can say 'yes' to it." Randy said.

"You don't have to. This isn't a proposition or a 'come on'! All I'm trying
to tell you is that if you reach the point where you need that type of
comfort, I want you to know that it's here - waiting for you. You don't
have to fear being turned down." Troy said and then leaned over and kissed
Randy gently on the cheek.

Then Randy looked over at me, I guess to gauge my reaction to all of
this. I had been sitting there listening to this interchange. I couldn't
believe the things that Troy was saying at first. But then I realized that
what he was saying, he was saying from his heart. A heart that cannot stand
to see anyone in pain. A heart with so much love to give it is almost too
much to bear to be in the path of all of it! Looking at him, listening to
him, I realized that Troy had come to truly love Randy.  Maybe it was
because I loved him and Troy realized that, if I did, then there must be
something worth loving about him. Or he came to it on his own. I don't
know. I just know that I finally understood what Troy was really saying and
that he was right.

"Troy's right." I said, quietly, looking back at Randy. "I guess I was
afraid at first what this would do to us - all of us. As far as I can see,
it would bring us closer together and, for the life of me, I can't see
anything wrong with that. I suppose if we came together just out of
horniness or because of wanting to somehow rekindle old desires, that would
be wrong and everybody would be hurt by it. But that's not what this is
about. Troy's absolutely right. This is about love. This is about caring
for somebody. This is about offering comfort and love to someone that we
love who might really need it. And like Troy said, this isn't something
that 'has' to happen. This is something that will happen if that's what you
want and need. But you're the one who has to make that decision."

"Troy...Mike..." Randy said quietly, looking at each of us and reaching out
and taking one of our hands in each of his. "I don't know what to say. No!
That's wrong. Let me start again!" and he was quiet for a few moments, just
sitting there, holding our hands in his.

"I love both of you. I love you both so very, very much. I didn't realize
how much until today.  Nor did I realize how much you love me. Troy..." he
said, looking over at my beautiful lover. "I am so overwhelmed at what
you've said, I don't even know how to reply to it except to say that I love
you, too. You've got to know that I never meant to hurt you in any way. I
loved Mike a long time before I ever knew you. I never, ever wanted the
love that I had for him to come between the two of you."

"It can't, Randy. Don't you understand that? The love Mike and I have for
each other is just between us. No one can interfere in it, unless we let
them. That's what I did at the beginning. I let my insecurities and my
distrust allow the love you have for Mike to begin to come between us. I
lied to myself and told myself that Mike would leave me for you. I knew
that wasn't going to happen! I knew Mike had promised me that would never
happen and I knew the Mike always keeps his promises. But I let my
insecurities get the better of me anyway - until somebody pointed out to me
what an asshole I was being and threatened not to marry me if I couldn't
bring myself to trust him!" Troy told Randy.

The look of shock on Randy's face was priceless. He looked at me as if I
would deny what Troy had just said.

"No. He's right. I did just that. I told him if he couldn't trust me not to
leave him for you, then we had no business getting married because the vows
would be meaningless." I said to Randy.

"And, Mike was absolutely right!" Troy said. "So I had to do some more
'growing up'. I had to learn that love isn't possession. It isn't any one
person's exclusive property. Mike could love you and still love me. You
could love Mike and still love Jamie. And I could love you and still love
Mike."

This last was said quietly, looking straight at Randy. Randy looked at Troy
and realized how much Troy meant what he had just said. Tears started to
stream down Randy's face.

"And I love you, Troy. Very, very much. I've come to see what a truly
wonderful and loving man you are - the same thing I'm sure Mike saw in you
from the beginning." Randy said looking at Troy.

Then he turned to me.

"And I don't have to tell you how much I love you. You know already. All I
do know is that right now I need to go to the hospital and see the one
person I love more than the two of you. And I'd like both of you to come
with me. And as far as where I'll sleep tonight, I hope you'll allow it to
be between the two of you again because I really need your guy's love if
I'm going to get through this in one piece." he said, squeezing both our
hands.

Troy and I both wrapped our arms around him and hugged him. Randy turned
his head to me and kissed me deeply, tasting me as I sucked on his
tongue. The he turned to Troy and I watched as they kissed deeply as
well. It was a sight so beautiful that tears threatened to fill my eyes at
the sight.

"If we're going to the hospital, I guess we'd better take a shower and get
dress? Huh, guy?" I said.

"If we haaaaavvvvveee to!" Troy joked, mimicking a bratty kid.

I cracked up laughing and so did Randy. I was so glad to hear the sound of
laughter come out of him. Somehow, with that sound, I knew he was going to
make it. We were all going to make it through this, together.

"Randy, you can use the shower in the bathroom next to our bedroom. Troy
and I will use the one downstairs." I said taking Troy's hand and leading
him towards the basement.

When we got downstairs I took Troy in my arms and kissed him deeply while
my hands stroked down the back of his body and I grasped his naked butt,
gently massaging the bulging glutes.

"God! I love you so much!" I murmured as I moved my mouth down to his neck
- licking, sucking and nibbling as I went.

"Any reason in particular this morning?" he purred.

"Yes! You know damned well there is!" I grinned pulling back to look at him
but not letting him out of my arms. "What you did out there for Randy! I
just cannot believe how kind and loving you can be."

"I only did it partially for Randy. Mostly I did it for you and for me. I
knew how much you wanted to reach out to him and you thought it was wrong -
or that I would think it was wrong.  And it's not wrong. I had some very
expert advice on working that out." Troy said.

"You did? Who?" I asked.

"Father Robert. We had a talk about it a few weeks ago." he said.

"A few weeks ago! Are you clairvoyant now? The accident wasn't until last
night." I said, puzzled.

"No, this was about the whole trust thing. He helped me to understand that
the reason that I didn't trust you is because, with the way my Dad had hurt
me and basically deserted me, I felt that any man who loved me would
eventually do that to me. Father Robert helped me to see that all men are
not alike. That you weren't my Dad and you weren't going to leave me. He
helped me, at the same time to get over any residual anger or fear I had of
Randy. He was the one who made the analogy of what would I want to see
happen if I suddenly died or something? What would I want to happen to you?
I told him that I wouldn't want you to mourn for me for a long time and I'd
want somebody there to comfort you and help you get over it. Then Father
Robert asked me of everyone I knew, who would I want to be there for you,
to comfort you and I knew immediately that I would want Randy and Jamie to
be there for you." Troy said.

"Father Robert is a pretty bright guy, isn't he?" I said.

"Yes. He is. I started asking him about this whole thing about sex and
sin. I know most people see what we do as sinful and I asked Father Robert
why he didn't see it that way. He told me that the sinful part of sex is
not the sex, it's the intention. He said God created sex - all sex - not
just for procreation but for pleasure and to express our love for each
other. That it is a beautiful thing that God meant for us to experience
often. But some people use sex as a weapon to hurt other people.  And some
people use it as trade for things they want. Those are sinful because they
are not what God intended sex for. Then I asked him about having sex with
someone outside of marriage. He said that wasn't wrong either, but that if
you were married and you promised your spouse that you would never have sex
with anyone else, then having sex with someone else was wrong. Not because
you had sex, but because you broke your vow not to." Troy explained.

"Yes. I can see all that. I totally agree." I said.

"We never took those vows." Troy said quietly.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"When Father Robert married us he didn't put in the things about 'keeping
yourself only unto him'. He left out the vows about not having sex with
other people." Troy said.

"Why did he do that?"

"He says he always does with Gay men. He says it's within the male nature
to desire sex with different partners. And he says the whole 'monogamy'
thing really started as a way to keep the bloodlines pure. Something that
two males having sex don't really have to worry about. He said keeping that
in there was kind of like keeping the parts of the marriage blessing about
God blessing us with children." he said.

"What else did he say about sex to you?" I asked.

"Well, he said that there are really three reasons for having sex. One is
that you enjoy having sex.  That's perfectly natural. The second is that
you love having sex with the person you're having it with. That's of course
when sex is really great. Then you have sex because you really love the
person you're having it with - that's making love. You and I have that. We
actually have all three.  You and Randy had all three, you just couldn't
admit to the third one." he said.

"But you actually suggested out there that we have sex with Randy
together. All three of us. I wonder how Father Gray would feel about that?"
I asked.

"Actually, he feels perfectly ok with it as long as it's perfectly ok with
the three people doing it.  And that they're doing it for the right
reasons." he said.

"How do you know that?" I asked.

"I asked him last night. We had a long talk on the phone after I got home."
Troy said.

"Father Gray has some rather unusual beliefs for a priest!" I said.

"I asked him about that one time. He said that he came to realize that the
church had sinned.  Sinned for a very long time by misstating God's
intentions and then by trying to control people through shame. He says that
shame is the most destructive emotion because it kills the soul. He says
Jesus never said one word about sex. In fact, the people he spent the most
time with and seemed to love the most were the one's who were outcasts -
and especially sexual outcasts from society. He said that if Jesus were
alive today, he'd be in Gay bars and AIDS wards. So that is where Fr. Gray
goes, trying to help people understand that even if society doesn't love
them - God does. " Troy told me.

"I wish we had more priests like him!" I said.

"Yes. I'm just glad I met this one." Troy said.

"Well, from what you've told me about how he's helped you, I certainly am
too!" I said, pressing my lips to his in a deep kiss.

"I think we'd better get going. I don't think we want to keep Randy
waiting. Especially because I don't want him to think we're having sex down
here." Troy said.

"We're not?!" I exclaimed.

"No, we're not! How do you think it's going to make Randy feel if he thinks
we're having sex down here while his lover is laying in an ICU?" Troy
asked.

"Ok! You're right. Let's get in the shower and get going then." I said, not
at all happy about this turn of events but realizing that Troy was
absolutely right.

For the first time since we'd known each other, Troy and I simply showered
together in the large downstairs shower. Oh, we still washed each other,
running our hands over each other's bodies like we always did, but we
didn't even get close to getting off. We went back upstairs and quickly
dressed. Randy was waiting for us. This time, Troy and I followed Randy to
the hospital in Troy's car. We all went up to the ICU and Dr. Cartwright
was already there waiting for us.

"How's he doing, Doug?" Randy asked.

"Here's the chart. Look for yourself." Dr. Cartwright said.

Randy stood there for a few minutes going through Jamie's chart. I could
see on his face that nothing in the chart was good news. Randy handed the
chart back to Dr. Cartwright.

"So what can we do?" Randy asked him.

"Randy, I wish to God I knew! The only thing I can see to do is give it
another 24 hours and see what happens." he said. "I'm sorry. I wish I could
give you good news."

"I know, Doug. I don't blame you. You've done the best you can. You all
have. I guess there's nothing left but to wait like you suggested." Randy
said, but I could hear in his voice that he was ready to just give up. "Can
we see him?"

"Of course. I'll check back a little later." Dr. Cartwright said and walked
away.

We followed Randy into Jamie's cubicle. I'd forgotten that Troy hadn't been
up here last night and I heard a small gasp come from him when he saw Jamie
for the first time. His face was still swollen and the bruising was still
bad. It was difficult to recognize him - especially from the funny, smiling
person we all knew and loved. This time it was Troy who got down on his
knees at the foot of Jamie's bed and started praying for him. Randy moved
to the head of the bed and leaned over and kissed his lover. He was
murmuring things to Jamie but I couldn't hear what he was saying. I didn't
figure it was any of my business anyway.

Finally Randy straightened up after kissing Jamie one more time. He turned
to me and I could see the tears in his eyes. I quickly took him in my arms
and he buried his face in my chest. I could feel the sobs wracking his body
so I just held onto him and let him get it out. Troy noticed what was
happening and he came over and put his arms around both of us. The three of
us stood there, Troy and I supporting Randy and I thanked God in my heart
that we could both be there for him.

Once Randy pulled himself together, we left the cubicle where Jamie was
lying. One of the nurses came up to speak to Randy.

"I just wanted you to know Dr. Bender that we're doing everything we can
for him." the young nurse said.

"Thank you, Mary. I know you all are." Randy said to her gently.

"And you ought to know that Dr. Cartwright spent all night here with
him. He hasn't been out of the hospital since Jamie was brought in." she
said.

"Thank you for telling me. I'll thank him later and get him to go home."
Randy said.

After the young nurse went back to her duties, I turned to Randy. "Well,
they seem to really care about you guys!"

"Yeah. Jamie and I didn't know how the hospital community was going to deal
with us being open about our relationship, but most people have been great
about it. The one's who have problems with it, for the most part, have kept
their mouth's shut." Randy said.

"Tell me the truth, Randy. How bad is it?" I asked.

"It's about as bad as it can get. He's not responding. His EEG is going
flat. Doug feels he may have to go on a respirator. I already told you
about what happens then." he said.

I shook my head. I knew what he was talking about and I didn't want to
think about him having to terminate life support for Jamie. Troy reached
out and put his arms around Randy and gently kissed him on the cheek.

"We're here for you, Randy. Just lean on us. We are not going to let you go
through this alone. I promise." Troy told Randy.

Randy didn't have anything to say to that. He just grabbed Troy and hugged
him fiercely.

We spent the next few hours, sitting in Jamie's cubicle or out in the
waiting room while the nurses took care of him. We went down to the
hospital cafeteria and we got Randy to eat something. Dr.  Cartwright found
us down there.

"I've talked to Silvers in New York, DeMarco in Houston and Vincent in San
Francisco. I've faxed them all the test results. None of them have any
suggestions. They say we're doing all that can be done." Dr. Cartwright
said.

"I never doubted that, Doug." Randy smiled at his friend.

"I just had to be sure, Randy." Dr. Cartwright said getting up and heading
back upstairs.

"What was all that about?" I asked Randy.

"Silvers, DeMarco and Vincent are the three top neurosurgeons in the
country. Doug checked with them to see if there was any other treatment
that they could recommend for Jamie. There wasn't." Randy said.

"I can think of one. He's just coming in now." Troy said, looking over at
the door to the cafeteria.

Through the door was walking Fr. Gray. He spotted us and came over to the
table.

"Pull up a chair, Father." Randy said upon seeing the priest.

"Thanks. I've already been up to see Jamie and anointed him. Is there any
change?" Fr. Gray asked.

"Only for the worse." Randy said. "Thanks for coming by and see him,
Father. Your's may be the only 'medicine' that will have any effect now."

"I will keep him in my prayers. But you should remember, Randy. No matter
what you were taught when you were young, God doesn't cause people to
die. He doesn't "take" them. Death is a natural part of the life-cycle of
our biological bodies. It is the mercy of God and His love for us that
causes God to welcome our spirits home to him when our mortal bodies can no
longer contain them." Fr. Gray said.

"But why Jamie, Father?!" Randy asked with anguish in his voice.

"The only true answer to that seems unnecessarily cruel under the
circumstances. The answer is 'Why not Jamie?'. You and I know that terrible
things happen to people every day. Most of the time, there is no rational
explanation. Mankind has searched throughout history for the answer to that
question. The answers have ranged from the spiritual - making God the
author of everything that happens - to the cynical - 'Shit Happens'. I
don't think that either is true. There is a randomness to life but there is
a spiritual dimension as well. Perhaps the spiritual dimension is more in
how we live life, how we react towards what happens in life but, who knows?
I know that I choose to live my life in the most loving and caring way that
I know how. And I leave the deep philosophical and theological questions to
those who have the time and inclination to try and answer them. I'm too
busy trying to help people accept what life has thrown their way to have
time for it myself." Fr. Gray answered.

"Yes. I know you're right, Father." Randy said. "I work in the ER where
there is hardly enough time to think at all about this or that patient that
just was rolled through the doors. Philosophy isn't my thing either. It's
just when you're faced with something like this, you feel so...so..."
Randy searched for the word he wanted.

"Inadequate?" Fr. Gray suggested.

"Yes! Inadequate!" Randy said.

"In the Program of AA we call it 'powerless' but it's the almost the same
thing. Except, we recognize that we individually and everyone else in the
world is powerless over much of our lives.  There is nothing to feel
'inadequate' about on that score! Where your difficulty is coming from is
being unable to 'accept' what is happening. There is an old saying 'Change
does not cause pain.  Resistance to change causes pain.'. You are naturally
resisting what is happening, this change in your life that you don't
like. That's perfectly normal. Unfortunately, it is then also perfectly
normal to be in pain over it and to desperately search for answers that do
not exist when we ought to be working on accepting what is happening. That
doesn't mean giving up or that you stop fighting to save Jamie's life, it
just means that you accept this as reality and stop wishing it were
otherwise. It isn't, and wishing will not make it so, it just frustrates
the hell out of you because the 'wishes' don't come true." Fr. Gray said.

"I can't accept what's happened to Jamie! How can I accept it?" Randy all
but cried out.

"Randy, acceptance is not approval! Acceptance isn't saying 'This is a good
thing.'. Acceptance is saying, 'Ok. This is happening, this is reality. I
don't like it. In fact, I hate it. But I cannot change it and I'm going to
accept the fact that it exists - whether I like it or not!'. That's
acceptance." Fr.  Gray answered.

"Well, that, at least, I agree with." Randy said. "I do hate it! But you're
right. I'm powerless to change any of it. God knows I would if I could!"

"Yes, Randy. God does know. And he loves you so much - especially, I'm
sure, because of how much you love His other child, Jamie. That's what we
so often forget. We are all His children.  And when we show love for each
other, that gladden's God's heart because that what He intended, just like
any 'parent'." Fr. Gray said and put his arm around Randy.

Randy rested his head against Fr. Gray's chest for a few moments and
Fr. Gray gently stroked his hair. It was a surprisingly loving and touching
scene in the middle of a hospital cafeteria. Neither man, however, showed
the least care about where they were or who was watching. I could tell that
Fr. Gray loved 'God's Other Children' very much. And that love was being
given to Randy now because of his intense need for it. It was a beautiful
moment and I reached out and held Troy's hand. He looked over at me and I
could see that he was moved by the scene before us as well.

Father Gray left soon after as he had other patients that he had to
see. Troy and I left Randy at the hospital and went home. We told him to
call when he wanted us to come and get him. When the call came, however, it
wasn't from Randy. It was from a nurse in the ICU who informed us that
Jamie had taken a turn for the worse and they didn't expect him to make it
through the night. I asked her if she had called, Fr. Gray and she told me
that he was already there and had given her our number to call.

Troy and I dressed quickly and drove as fast as we could to the
hospital. When we got to the ICU, there were a lot of doctors and nurses in
the room already along with Randy and Father Gray. Troy and I stood outside
and watched. We could barely see Jamie for all of the people working on
him. Finally, however, we heard that sound which anyone who had ever
watched a medical show on television recognizes. The steady whine of a
monitor when all life functions cease. When it happened, Randy was kneeling
by the bed, Jamie's hand in his. Randy bowed his head and his shoulders
began to shake with tears. Father Gray blessed Jamie and read the prayer
for Dead. As the nurses and doctors cleared out of the room, Troy and I
went in and knelt down beside Randy and put our arms around him. He looked
up at me with tears running down his face.

"What am I going to do, Mike? What am I going to do?" he asked, through his
tears.

I had no answer. I don't think he really expected one. I just held him and
let him cry with his face laying on my chest. I don't know how long we
knelt there but when I went to finally get up, my knees were almost locked
so that I could barely straighten them out. Fr. Gray stayed there the whole
time, silently waiting. Randy finally walked over to him and the two men
tearfully hugged.  Even Fr. Gray was crying. Then Randy asked us to leave
him alone with Jamie for a few minutes.  We walked outside the room but I
looked back as we did. Randy was laying on the bed with Jamie and holding
him in his arms, gently kissing his forehead.

We took Randy home, finally. He talked almost constantly about he and
Jamie's life together, going over their happy times. I guess he was trying
to keep them in his mind to buffer the horror of Jamie's death. I managed
to get some food into him and then gave him a large shot of Glenlivet
scotch to help him relax and get some sleep.

I realized that the next few days were going to be living hell. There would
be the funeral and all of the ghastly, barbaric customs surrounding the
exigencies of death. But at least Randy would not be alone. He would have
Troy and I there at all times to help him get through it. As much as I
loved him, I could do no less and it was obvious that Troy loved Randy
deeply as well. How this happened, I didn't know. Whether my loving Randy
had anything to do with it or not, I didn't ask. I was just so grateful
that my beautiful lover, husband and friend understood my love for Randy
and shared those feelings with me.

Finally, Troy and I got Randy to go to bed and get some sleep. As the
previous night, we all curled up together in our big bed only this time, it
was me that Troy wanted to hold in his arms.  Troy smiled at me, letting me
know that he wasn't jealous and understood completely what Randy was
feeling. He had just lost someone who was so much a part of himself. I was
all he had left of long-term love in the world.

The next morning, I again awoke with Troy in my arms and Randy nowhere to
be found. I found him outside on the patio again and I joined him. When I
sat down, he didn't even seem to realize I was there. I didn't say
anything, not wishing to disturb his thoughts. Finally, after quite a long
time, he looked over and seemed surprised that I was there.

"I'm sorry, I didn't even know you were there! I was lost in thought."
Randy said.

"I didn't want to disturb you. We don't have to talk if you don't want
to. I just thought I'd kind of be here with you." I said.

"Thanks, Mike. I really do need you and Troy near me. I don't know what I'd
do otherwise! I'm having a very hard time trying to figure out a reason to
keep on living this morning. I really don't want to. With Jamie gone, I
don't see anything left to live for!" he said.

This frightened me. Not because of what he was saying. I understood that he
could be feeling this way, but it was the way he said it! His affect flat,
no animation in his face or voice. It was like he had already come to the
decision that life was not worth living and had decided to end it all.

"Randy, you can't do that! You can't stop living. I know you're in pain. I
know you miss Jamie.  And you're going to for the rest of your life. But
life isn't over for you! Just like it wasn't for me after I lost you! I
found love again - beautiful, wonderful love! And you can, too! And until
that time, you have me and Troy. We both love you - very, very much! We
want to be there for you.  We want to love you. We want to do whatever it
takes to get you through this until you're whole again. You can't do
something stupid! Would you really want to cause the kind of pain that
you're going through to me?" I asked him.

"Of course not!" he said, looking at me in shock.

"Well, that's what you're talking about! What do you think it would do to
me if something happened to you?! Do you think that when I tell you that I
love you it doesn't really mean anything?!" I practically screamed at him.

"But you have Troy." he reminded me.

"Yes. I do. And I love him so very much. But I love you as well. I don't
know how this happens.  I didn't think you could love two men at the same
time! I couldn't possibly leave Troy, it would destroy me! But I'm afraid
losing you would destroy me as well!" I said, realizing that tears were
falling down my face.

"Mike...I just don't know...I'm so afraid. I don't know how to live without
someone that I love close to me anymore. The thought of spending days and,
worse, nights alone just make me want to die just so I don't have to go
through it. I'm such a coward, I'm ashamed of myself. But I can't help
feeling this way." he said and his head dropped as his shoulders started
shaking with sobs.

I was just about to get up and go to him, when I saw movement out of the
corner of my eye. It was Troy, naked except for a pair of gym shorts and he
was bending over Randy with his arms around him. I decided to stay where I
was and let Troy comfort him. Randy looked up at Troy's touch and then
Randy's arms grabbed Troy around the waist and clung to him. Troy reached
down and held Randy's shoulders with one arm while he gently stroked his
hair with the other hand.

"Shh. Randy. It's ok, babe. You don't have to be alone. We aren't going to
let that happen - ever.  We're going to move you out of that apartment and
you'll come and live with us. Did you think, as much as we both love you,
that we would just leave you all alone in that empty apartment?  Ain't
gonna happen! You're going to help us create a circle of very deep love!
Enough that you will find the strength to go on and you will find happiness
again with Mike and I." Troy cooed to him.

I looked at Troy is surprise! Was he offering Randy what I thought he was
offering? Did he want us to open our relationship and let Randy in? I know
that he had offered physical comfort to Randy if he needed it while Jamie
was lying in the hospital. But with Jamie now gone, what Troy was offering
had a bit more permanence to it! It was Randy who asked the question I
wanted to ask.

"Troy, you don't mean that you want me as a lover, do you?!" he asked.

"Randy, in so many ways you already are. I love you, very much. At first,
it was because I know how much Mike loves you and I knew that if he felt
you were worth loving then I shouldn't hold back from loving you as
well. But as I've gotten to know you, been around you and, yes, even slept
in your arms, my feelings have deepened tremendously. I love Mike more than
anyone on this earth and that will never change. But, like Mike, I love you
as well - in fact, almost as much.  Being someone that you would make love
to would please me more than anything I can think of except Mike making
love to me. Is that an answer? Do you understand what I'm trying to say?"
Troy asked.

Randy looked at Troy and I could see the amazement on his face. I probably
mirrored my own. I couldn't believe what Troy was saying. The idea of a
relationship with both of these men who I loved so much was a daunting one
but one that caused my breath to catch in my throat from the intensity of
my feelings of elation! I didn't know what to say or who to say it to!

"Mike are you ok with this?" Troy looked over and asked me.

"Yes! Are you ok with this?" Randy asked as well, looking over at me.

I sat there a moment, still to stunned to answer.

"I...I...have no idea!" I said. "It sounds like a dream come true but I
don't have the faintest idea how to make that kind of relationship work!" I
said.

"I don't think there are any books on it!" Troy grinned at me.

"I do think that it may be a tad pre-mature. After all, Randy really
shouldn't be making any kind of decisions like that now, given the
circumstances." I said.

"I'm not talking about a commitment for ever! Just for now, until he's able
to emotionally handle things and make his own decisions." Troy said.

"That I can deal with." Randy answered. "I know I don't want to be alone
and I would rather be with the both of you than anyone else in the world. I
don't know how this is going to play out. I don't want to hurt anybody."

"And you know we would never do anything to hurt you!" Troy said.

"That's right. We only want to be there for you and love you, Randy." I
said.

"Then that's settled. I will gladly live with you guys and we'll just have
to see what else happens."  Randy said.

The End of Part 14 of MY DAUGHTER'S EX BOYFRIEND

I hope you enjoyed the story so far. If you did, write me at
rimpigfl@yahoo.com. I love to hear from my readers. Also, if you'd like a
listing of all my stories on the Nifty Archive, I'll be glad to send you
one if you request it.

Please don't send plot suggestions. By the time you read this, the entire
story is already written.

RimPig