Date: Sun, 17 Feb 2002 01:20:27 -0800
From: bawdy pen <bawdypen@hotmail.com>
Subject: SCAT SCAM (scat)

	                SCAT SCAM

   He enters the waiting room in a decent suit, briefcase,
and pleasant smile...nods silently to the three young men
with the first appointments and tells the nelly queen at
the reception desk to send the first one in shortly. Then
he goes into his office and arranges the small wooden stool
for the interview.
   "I'm sure you've been apprised of my requirements," he
tells the nervous 19-year-old who is disrobing, "but let's
be perfectly clear. I wish to employ, at a very high
salary, a young man as live-in chauffeur to drive my car
and run occasional errands. Your only other duty--and this
is the main reason for employment--would be to shit me a
turd no less than every other day--preferably daily--in
whatever manner I desire. Into the toilet, onto the floor
or a table, on my face, but most probably directly into my
mouth."
   The boy blushed furiously. "Y-yes, sir. I...I was told
that." He gulped and took a deep breath. "I can agree to
that."
   "Fine. Of course you can understand why I first need a
demonstration and a sample of your shit if I'm expected to
make a choice among so many fine applicants? Good. Now if
you'll totally remove your pants and underwear and step
onto the desk. That's it. Lovely. Just turn and squat down
here right in front of me. Don't fear you'll offend. Get
close. I'll try to keep the use of my hands and fingers at
a minimum--but it's something you'll have to get used to if
you're chosen."
   He surveyed the kid's hot-looking ass and put his nose
to the crack and sniffed it.
   "Ah, you smell delightful! I'm glad you seriously took
the instruction of not bathing. Now just relax and as
soon as you're able, take a big healthy shit right on my
desk. Be prepared that I shall be licking it, and will
clean your anus with my tongue. If this offends you,
remember why the starting salary is so high."
   Twisting his head sideways, he managed to lick up and
down the fat, dark, extruding teenage turd. He held the
smooth butt in place while he slathered his licker along
the fuming object before sluicing his tongue up the open
hole and thoroughly cleaning it out.
   "Boy, I can't believe so many show up every day!" the
queeny receptionist sighed, plopping into his easy chair at
the end of the afternoon. "So, did you lick some nice turds
today?" he asked with a trace of sarcasm and a flick of his
cigarette.
   "Oh, gawd, did I! I've got so much cum in my pants...
I'm soaked!"
   "Oooh, really?" his eyes lit up.
   "Yes. Would you care to clean me up again?" he asked,
loosening his belt and swinging the chair to the side.
   "You bet, stud. You can have your old messy turds, this
girl has her own idea of pleasure. Sucking up balljuice!
Man, I dig this job. Taking a shit sure seems to turn those
boys on. I blew seven of 'em after you were done with 'em.
GRACIOUS! Talk about shootin' a load in your pants! Hmmm,
you just rest back, stud. Jamie Lee will have this all
slurped up in no time at all! By the way...Oh, don't mind
if I talk while I eat," he sucked up a big glob. "Just
wondering how long this gig's gonna last. Oooh, nice creamy
spunk! Schloop! But this is the fourth day. When do you
think you'll decide on a permanent boy? I've seen some real
dolls go through here. Wouldn't have minded watching a
couple of them shit myself!"
   "Heh! Are you kidding? Who the hell could afford the
salary I'm supposedly offering? The rent on this dump and
your pay is stretching it for me as it is. But, damn it's
worth it!"
   "What?!" he pulled up with a crooked grin. "Well, now,
aren't you the scamming pervert!"
   "I'm surprised it's worked so well, too...Yeah, under
my balls...hot boys and all the shit I can eat! Sorry about
the stink. I forgot to turn on the big fan after the last
one."
   "Honey, after my last husband don't sweat it. He liked
his own stink so much I told him to take a hike. I happen
to enjoy rimming a stud too much to put up with that. I'm a
lover, darling, I told him...not your personal piece of
fuckin' toilet paper! You and him would get along splen-
didly. I'm surprised he hasn't shown up, as a matter of
fact."
   "Hmmm, you're getting me hard there with that long
tongue."
   "Hey, you want some head? I could go for a couple more
mouthfuls of this syrup. You got a nice prick, too. Lemme
get the rest of this cleaned up first. Ooops, it ran down
the crack of your ass, too. Oh, well, lift your legs...I'm
not proud. Say, it's not all shitty. Nice suckable bunghole
you got, boss!"
   "Heh! Naw, I keep myself clean. But only because my own
shit is positively attrocious! That's what comes from
eating too much crap, I suppose. Guess it doesn't all mix
well."
   "Well, hell! In that case how 'bout adding a rimjob to
my daily duties? I could dig suckin' this hole every day!"
   "Hmmm. Maybe we could made a deal..." he grinned
seductively.
   "Me? After all that sweet stuff you wanna blow MY
turd!"
   "The best come from, uh, well-used assholes. That's not
an insult."
   "Ha ha! Well-used...you got that right! Used and used
and used! But oh darling, have I had some nice juicy pricks
up my tail since I was a mere schoolgirl. Actually, I had
some nice juicy pricks up my tail when I WAS a mere school-
girl, as I recall."
   "You must have noticed that not all of them were young
or pretty."
   "Yeah, I wondered about that. Nobody got the fast
shuffle. You had them shit too?"
   "Absolutely. Truth is, licking turds is more exciting
when it's coming out of an asshole that's a bit raunchy.
You know, big and wrinkly rather than pink and puckered.
They're the ones that make me feel really filthy and nasty
...and that's when I come in my pants!"
   "Well, sounds like I got just the ugly gash you'll
like. Sure, only hafta take a shit when I get home anyway.
Might be a kick! Let's say I come in and lick you up...give
ya a little knobjob...dump a turd in your lap...then you
fuck me while you...suck or lick or eat or whatever the
fuck you do with those damned things?!"
   "Sounds good, but..." he waved his stiff dick back and
forth, "I'm afraid this is all the raise you'll be
gettin'."
   "Honey, a stiff weinie is all I ever did want from
life!"


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