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                            SELF-EXPLORATION
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                               June, 1989

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O.K., so I'm only 15.  I've looked in the mirror at myself - naked - and
I like what I see.  I'm 5'10" tall, white, 155 pounds, pronounced
muscles, smooth and unblemished skin. Being sort of skinny, my bones
show in some places - you can easily see my ribs.  My eyes are almost
black in color and I have sandy blonde hair.

The rest of my body is hairless except for a small patch around my cock
which I like to keep trimmed.  My nipples are medium sized, more pink
than red but they get darker when I get turned on.  My butt is sort of
small, but firm and smooth.  My asshole is pink and puckered like most
guys', but it's hairless too - I keep it that way with my electric
shaver.  My balls are large compared with other guys I look at - they're
full and hang down about 4" from the base of my cock.  I keep them
smooth by shaving them about once a week, too.

And my cock?  My cock is 4" long when it's limp and it'll grow to 7"
when I get excited.  I'm circumsized.  There are no ugly veins that pop
up when I get a hard-on - it stays pretty smooth and I like that.  And
boy, can it get hard.  All I have to do is stand in front of my full
length mirror and start to strip.  It's hard before I get my jockeys
off.  I guess because I like to see myself naked and all, and because I
know how to make myself feel good when I get in the mood to have a
session with myself and the mirror.

I usually dress in a tee-shirt, no undershirt, jeans, socks, and
Reeboks.  I wear a gold chain around my neck, too.  My underwear is 
always jockey briefs, but I wear different colors.  My favorite is
yellow with white trim.  They look the best on my tanned body.  I love
to be tan, and I stay that way by laying outside in the sun whenever I
can.  We have a pool in the back yard that's surrounded by a privacy
fence.  Mom, Dad, and Sis work so I can be outside in the nude when
they're not home and no one knows.  So I don't have any pale area around
my cock and my butt - I've got an even tan ALL over.  And it always
feels great to lay in the sun and let it shine so warm on my cock and
balls.  Sometimes I'll get a hard-on just by feeling that warmth and 
knowing that I'm naked just a few feet away from the neighbors.  It's
like I've got a secret and it sort of excites me.

I started to explore my own body when I was twelve.  I didn't know
why, but it really felt good when I rubbed my dick and fondled my 
balls.  I've come a long way in the last three years to bring my
self-exploration to be what I consider a fine art.

When I get in the mood I close and lock the door to my room so Mom,
Dad, or Sis can't come in by surprise.  I'll turn on some music and then
turn on all the lights so it's nice and bright.  Then I walk in front
of my mirror and just stand there for a second.  The Reeboks come off
first, slowly, and then my socks.  I love to walk around in bare feet
and I like to see my bare feet poking out from underneath my jeans.

Then it's time to pull off my shirt - slowly, again - and toss it out
of the way.  Then I stand there and check out my chest, my abdomen, my
waist, my bellybutton, and my back.  I like what I see.  I feel my dick
start to grow.  I rub my hands over my chest and abdomen and pinch my
nipples.

Then I unfasten the button on my jeans and slowly pull down my zipper.
I don't wear a belt.  Then I pull just one corner of my jeans down a
little to expose a little of the front of my underwear.  I hold this
pose for a minute and I usually start getting excited for real by now.
Then I pull the other corner of my jeans down so the whole front of my
underwear is showing.  My right hand goes down to my bulge in my jockeys
and starts to rub it.  My cock gets harder with this action and 
stretches my underwear out so it looks like a little tent with my tent
pole underneath.  About this time I stop to let my shaft cool off a
little and relax.  I notice some pre-cum juice oozing through my 
underwear. I touch my finger to the drop and pull it to my lips.  A
long string of clear liquid connects my lips to the tip of my jockey-
covered dick.  My tongue detects a salty, creamy presence.

Then I put my hands on my butt between my jeans and my underwear so I
can slide my jeans off.  They drop to the floor around my ankles and I
step out of them and kick them out of the way.  Now I'm standing there
in just my briefs.  I can see more pre-cum juice has appeared on the
material at the tip of my cock.  I taste it again.  I take in a deep
breath to make my abdomen even flatter and to make my pecks more
pronounced.  I flex all my muscles and admire the poses I make for
myself.

Then I tease myself by inserting the index fingers of both hands in the
elastic waistband of my underwear and circle around my waist and back.
And finally, when I can't stand it anymore, I slide my briefs from over
my cock and my butt so they fall to my feet.  I step out of them and
pick them up with my toes.  I take them in my hand and put them to my
nose and take a long, deep sniff.  I decide I smell good and am proud
of how clean I keep myself.  I throw them out of the way.

Sometimes I will take a few poloroids of myself in different stages of
my session, capturing different poses from different angles in the
mirror.  I keep them in an album that I keep locked in a drawer.  I've
got dozens of them that I like to go through every once in awhile.  I
have showed my album to a friend or two from school - guys only - who
have started their own photo albums like mine.  We have contests to see
who can come up with the most interesting shots.  We get together
sometimes and take pictures of each other, too.  But that's for another
story.  Back to my session.

My cock is now fully erect.  I leave my mirror and walk to my bed, 
watching my dick bob back and forth as I walk and feeling my freed balls
sway and bounce against my thighs.  I lay down on the bed with my head
on my pillow and do a semi-complete back rollover so that my feet are on
the headboard and my shaft is staring me in the face.  I am limber
enough so that I can suck myself.  This takes practice and you have to
do this often so that you can stay this limber.  And I do.  I can get
about half of my dick into my mouth, but that's all.  My balls hang down
and touch my nose when I go down on myself.  I can taste my pre-cum
juice real good now and I suck my dick dry.  I do this for only three 
or four minutes because my neck starts to hurt and I don't want to cum
yet anyhow.  I decide again that I taste good.

Now it's time to play with my asshole.  I get off the bed and go back to
my mirror and lay down on the floor.  My butt is right in front of the
mirror and my knees are drawn up to my chest.  I look down past my 
stomach and my dick into the mirror and I see my hairless ass.  I spread
my cheeks to reveal my pink hole and I get even more turned on.  I spit
a big glob of saliva onto my fingers and rub it onto my asshole.  Then I
use my middle finger to rub my spit all around its outside.  I'm always
amazed at how soft it is.  Then I poke my spit lubricated finger into my
ass.  I go slowly so I cause no pain.  I concentrate on relaxing my
butt hole muscle so my finger can go in easily.  It's always nice and
warm in my butt.  I work my finger around and around.  I find my
prostate gland and massage it for a couple of minutes.  This really gets
my pre-cum juice flowing and by the time I quit, I've got clear liquid
all over my abdomen.  It glistens in the light.  I take my left hand and
rub my balls and my cock while I massage my prostate.  I almost lose it
at this point but stop before cumming.  I leave my finger in my ass and
stand up.  I move my finger in and out, in and out until my wrist gets
tired, then I remove my finger and rub the pre-cum juice on my
abdomen all over my torso.  

I'm lucky 'cause I've got my own bathroom as part of my own room.  I
don't have to go out into the hall to use the john.  I decide that I
have to take a piss.  I let my dick relax so that it gets soft.  I go
into my bathroom and lay down in the tub.  I relax some more.  Pretty
soon I feel the tension in my bladder increase and I know I'm about to
pee.  I hold my cock so I can watch my piss come out of its slit and
I direct my pee to flow over my stomach and my chest.  I hold my dick
up so that I'm peeing a one foot fountain straight up and my pee comes
down and soaks my cock, my balls and my pubic hair.  I feel it drip into
the crack of my ass and into the tub.  It feels good and warm.  I like
to piss on myself - it turns me on - and by the time I've emptied my
bladder I'm getting hard again.  Then I stand up, flip on the shower,
and rinse myself off.  I lather up in soap suds from neck to toes and
play with my dick with soapy hands for a few minutes before a final
rinse.  Then I towel myself dry except for my crotch.  I get my hair
dryer, plug it in and blow dry my pubes.  The warm air feels great on my
cock, balls, and asshole.

By this time I want to cum so bad I can hardly stand it.  It's time to
get my ass beads.  I've got these beads that are only about a half inch
in diameter - five of 'em - on a string an inch apart.  The string is
actually about two feet long, so the beads are all toward one end.  I
get a tube of K.Y. Jelly from my drawer and grease up those beads real
good.  I bend over and insert all five beads up my ass.  Now I stand up
and I've got my ass beads in place with the rest of the string hanging
out of my asshole.  It feels terrific and my cock is throbbing in
anticipation of my orgasm.

Then I get an old newspaper from under my bed and spread it out on the
floor in front of my mirror so it covers about a five foot length.  I
have a contest with myself to see how far I can shoot my wad and I want
to shoot as far as I can down the length of the paper on the floor.  My
record is 4' 8".

Now it's finally time.  I position myself at the edge of the paper, grab
the string coming out of my butt with my left hand, grab my swollen dick
with my right hand, and check out the scene in the mirror.  All is set.
I begin to pump my rod, very slowly at first.  God, does it feel good!
Then a little faster.  My knees begin to feel a little weak and I bend 
them a little.  I pump a little faster still.  I let my mind settle on
nothing but the terrific feeling in my cock and balls.  Now, after about
two minutes, I start beating my dick real fast.  I'm gonna cum.  I'm
gonna cum.  I can't hold back any more.  I feel my wad starting to
rise out of my balls.  I pull the string out of my ass with a quick,
steady motion.  I explode!

The first wave of my cum shoots like a geyser from my cock.  Then
another, and another, and another, and still another.  It seems like it
might not end - but then it finally does, and a few drops of my jizsm 
fall onto my feet.  I am weak, totally spent.  My tool begins to become
soft.  I am sweating all over.  My skin shines in the lights. 

I look at my dick which is limp now.  There is a final drop of my cum
that clings to its tip.  I retrieve the white liquid onto my index
finger and bring it to my mouth.  I taste it and it is good.  I am
satisfied with my session.  

After I regain my strength I go to the newspaper to measure my shooting
distance.  It's 4'1" this time.  Not a record, but not bad, either.  I
wad up the newspaper in preparation for its being carried to the garage
garbage cans.  I clean and put away my beads and K.Y. Jelly and finally
gather my clothes from around the room.  But I don't get dressed yet. I
like being naked.  I like to look at my body, explore it inside and
outside, and to explore all its products.  

I'm tired.  I lay down on the bed for a short rest.  I stare at my cock
nestled in my young brown pubic hair.  I wonder what sort of exploration
I will do tomorrow.

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