Date: Sat, 4 Oct 2008 08:04:26 -0700 (PDT)
From: callibrn <callibrn@yahoo.com>
Subject: Understanding my submission Part 7

As time wore on, I listened to the CD several times a day. I didn't always
fall asleep to it, and I began to notice that I just would feel very
relaxed and in a trance almost. I realized it was a hypnotism CD and that
it encouraged my relaxation and my recall of events. I don't know
everything that it said because I would become so relaxed and just enjoy
it. I knew that after I listened each time I was more comfortable, more
relaxed and just felt better. I continued to chat online with Mr. Ericsson
and in person and on the phone.

I was trimming my chest one day when I realized that I no longer liked it
at all. I didn't want to have any hair there. I started shaving that day. I
started regularly shaving my chest, my armpits, and my crotch and ass. I
didn't need that hair, I thought to myself. What does a faggot need hair
for? It doesn't serve a purpose on a faggot. I wasn't sure where I had
gotten the idea, but I knew as soon as I had finished the shaving the first
time that it was right for me. It looked better from day one to me, and it
felt better to me too.

Rob became sicker and eventually he died. It was a very stressful time for
me and I don't know whether I would have come through it as well as I did
without the comfort of the CD and Mr. Ericsson helping me through it. I was
very grateful for his assistance during that time.

About 2 weeks after Rob had died, I went online again. I had not been on
for awhile. There had been so much going on in my life. Mr. Ericsson was
there and he started chatting to me and checking up on me as he had not
"seen" me there for awhile. He suggested I meet up with him later in the
day, so we set a time and I went over to his place.

When I got there, Mr. Ericsson greeted me at the door and we went
inside. We sat for a bit drinking coffee and talked about some of the
things that had happened to me with Rob and some of the dreams. His voice
was soothing as always and I knew I was becoming relaxed listening to
him. I knew I would soon be in a trance and I would probably fall asleep
and dream. That is what happened when I was with him.

"You are such a good boy Steve," he began at one point. "You are
remembering so much so quickly. It has been so stressful lately, you should
just relax. Just relax and let it go. That is why I am here, boy. Just
relax. Take your shirt off boy; I think you would feel much more relaxed
with your shirt off."

I wanted to feel relaxed, so I took my shirt off. I did feel more relaxed
once it was off. Mr. Ericsson always seemed to know what was good for me.

"Very good boy, very good. I see you are shaving your chest now,"
Mr. Ericsson stated. "You didn't need that hair anyway. I like it better
when you have no hair. You like doing things that please me now, don't you,
boy?"

I blushed; Mr. Ericsson liked my shaved chest. "Yes, Sir. I knew I needed
to do it, I answered."

"Good boy. You are following the instructions on the CD and from me so well
now boy. Even with all your stress and disappointments, you are doing so
well," Mr. Ericsson smiled. "You are becoming more relaxed, you know more
and more about yourself every day, boy. Such a good boy, such a good
faggot...

*** Rob had his arm around my neck. He had pulled my head back and was
whispering in my ear. His cock buried in my hole.

"Faggot!" he said. His thrusts were deep and I was moaning as he worked me
over. "You need cock don't you? Need it more than I do. You live to get
fucked like this I bet"

I was stunned at Rob's words. He had never said stuff like this in the year
and a half we had dated and then lived together. Other guys had said
similar stuff to me but he had not said anything like that before. I had
been fucking him more than he had been fucking me and I thought things were
going along well, I was finally having an equal relationship with a man,
just like I was supposed to have. Like two equal men had.

"You like being a little bitch don't you?" he asked. "I want an answer from
you."

"Wh..what do you mean?" I mumbled. I could feel myself turning red,
embarrassed by his questions as we were there on our bed having sex.

"You KNOW what I mean. You need to be submissive. You need to feel a man
running your life. You need a man to fuck you. I can't believe it took me
so long to figure you out, but I guess that happens when I was expecting
you to be something you aren't. I thought you were at least a versatile
guy, at least had some idea of how to fuck and take charge but tonight I am
forgetting that.

Rob's fucking was picking up speed. He was pounding me as he spoke into my
ear.

"You are a real bitch at heart. You need to get fucked good and hard. You
need to be the bottom boy because that is where your heart and head are
at."

He flipped me over on the bed and was staring down at me as he poised his
cock at the entrance to my ass. He just held it there staring at me.

"I'm right aren't I? You really aren't the man here are you?" he asked. He
just kept his cock ready, bouncing at the entrance to my hole, and I wanted
him back inside me, but I didn't want to admit anything to him. I liked the
way things were.

"I figured you for a regular guy, but here you have been holding back on me
all this time. I'm not used to being top guy, so it took me awhile to
figure it out, but I did. You can't ever decide shit, you always are
letting others tell you what to do, and it just took me awhile because, I
figured you couldn't really be as much of a pussy ass all that." Rob just
smiled. It wasn't his usual smile it was a smile like he had figured out
something important.

"Say it, Steve," Rob told me. "Tell me it's true, that you need my
dick. That you need to get fucked, that you are my bitch" I was shaking my
head. I didn't want to become the same bitch I had been before, to get used
again, I had gotten away from all that, I thought to myself. But Rob didn't
want that answer, didn't want to see me saying no.

I was shaking my head and he began to poke at my hole, just teasing it,
shoving his dickhead in, put pulling it out, just opening me up enough to
slip his cock in then pulling it back out again. In and out, teasing me, my
head turning back and forth in a no.

"Please, please don't make me say it," I was pleading. I wanted him to fuck
me, but I didn't want to have to say it.

"It's not going to be the same once you say it. You'll be my bitch from now
on, but it will be okay, it's what you really want," Rob just kept smiling
as he teased my hole. My head was saying no "Say it, come on, say it and
you'll get my fuck."

I didn't want to say it, but somewhere from my mouth I heard my words
tumble out.

"I'm your bitch, please fuck me," it was a whisper at first. Then I said it
again. "Please fuck me. Make me your bitch."

"Good boy," Rob smiled and drove into me, fucking me hard, making me his,
making me a bitch again...


***


I was back on Mr. Ericsson's sofa. I was in a trance I decided. I don't
know what else to call it. I wasn't sleeping I knew, but I was definitely
feeling like I was asleep. I could hardly move and I was only just aware
that I was talking. And telling Mr. Ericsson what was happening with Rob
not so long ago.

"You are such a good girl," Mr. Ericsson said to me in his soothing
voice. "You liked being the bitch for Rob didn't you?"

I nodded.

"You have always been a good girl. You tried being a good man, but really
you are a good girl, a good bitch," Mr. Ericsson explained to me. "It has
always been your place, hasn't it? To be such a good boy, a good faggot and
follow orders."

His statements and questions needed no response. It was all true. I nodded
again, and felt so relaxed realizing that all my dreams and memories told
me the same thing. I was a good girl. I liked following orders and that is
what I did best.

"You are so relaxed and happy knowing these things aren't you? So relaxed
and happy to realize that everything you have done with men is because you
are a good faggot. A good girl. You just needed someone to help you place
all of these memories in the proper setting for you to understand,
Steve. You KNOW these things are real, you KNOW that these experiences have
been good, because they made you who you are today, boy. Don't you?"

"Yes Sir, Mr. Ericsson," I said slowly. "I know it is good."

"That's right, you are happy and more satisfied knowing these things. You
are a faggot, Steve. A faggot serves men, boy. You can accept these things
about yourself because they make you most happy and most satisfied. When
you accept the truth, and serve a man and let him be in charge you are the
happiest and most satisfied."

I noticed Mr. Ericsson was standing there in front of me naked. His cock
was pointing directly at me, hard and fat.

"What do you want faggot?" he asked. "What do you need that will make you
happy?"

I stammered, "T..t..to serve you and your needs, Mr. Ericsson, Sir."

"Good girl. You may suck on it now, bitch."

I moved quicker than I thought I could being so sleepy. I devoured his cock
into my mouth and I heard him sigh as I swallowed his cock all the way
until my lips tasted the sweat from his crotch.

"You are such a good faggot. You know what makes a man happy. You know what
your purpose is. Such a good girl. You have a mouth like a pussy. So warm
and wet, bitch. Work your throat on my cockhead, girl. Come on, take all of
it."

"Mr. Ericsson grabbed the back of my head and began pumping long strokes
into my throat. I had no problem taking him because I was a good girl and
could take his cock deep. He was pulling all the way out and long strands
of my saliva from deep in my throat were emerging from my mouth before he
would grab my head and force it back down again on his cock.

He pulled his dick out with his hand and slapped my face with it smearing
the saliva all over my face before shoving it back again into my throat. He
cleared his own throat and spat on me when I looked up at him and saw his
blue eyes focused intently on me. I could do nothing but let his spit run
down my face because I was a good faggot and this was natural for me. I
knew it deeply now and everything he was saying and doing felt completely
right for me. I had never felt more satisfied than at this very moment.

"You are such a good cocksucker, bitch. You need to know how good this
feels so you can do it for every man that wants to use your hole. You suck
cock so well, boy. Such a good faggot."

Mr. Ericsson's cock was all slimy when he pulled it from my mouth. I
whimpered when he didn't place it back this time.

"Show me your pussy, bitch. Such a good girl to show a man her pussy. Turn
around and show me your fuckhole, girl."

Slowly I turned around as if still asleep, but this time I knew somehow it
wasn't a dream. Mr. Ericsson had been leading me to this place for a few
months now.

"Such a nice hole," he stated simply. "I see you shaved it clean as I
ordered."  I didn't recall his ordering it, but somehow knew suddenly that
I had done it for him. The same way I knew that I had shaved my chest
completely for him, because he had said he wanted it that way.

Mr. Ericsson kneeled behind me and lined up his cock at my hole. "What is a
pussy for, bitch?" he asked.

"To fuck Sir, to be used for your pleasure," the words streamed from my
mouth without hesitation, from somewhere deep in my mind. "Please fuck my
pussy Sir, I need it."

"Such a good girl, such a good faggot. You remember now what you are
for. You know now that you are to be used by men for their pleasure. It is
part of you and you accept this now. You are happier than ever before
because you recognize this bitch. You do not want to fight the truth any
longer Steve. You know only by accepting the truth will you receive the
happiness and satisfaction a faggot can receive in life"

Mr. Ericsson was right. He slowly slipped the full length of his cock into
me and I heard a large sigh escape my lips and a moan from his.

"Fuck you are a good hole, girl. Such a tight cunt on you, but you took it
no problem at all because this is what you are made for. Good faggot. This
is what makes you a good girl."

I felt so proud that I was making Mr. Ericsson happy. It was so warming
inside me to feel his cock there and to hear from him that I was a good
faggot.

Mr. Ericsson began fucking me, slowly at first but he built up speed. He
was pounding my pussy hard before I knew it. He was quiet for a long time
as he pulled all the way back and shoved all the way in. I could feel and
hear his balls slapping my ass as he made use of my cunt for his
pleasure. I could feel the smile on my face as he held my head down with
one hand and supported himself on top of me. I could feel the shudder of
his body as he slammed into me repeatedly. Before I knew it his cock
suddenly got harder, his body clenched and he began filling me with his
seed.

"I am breeding you faggot. Once it happens things will be different. Your
pussy is now mine. I am giving you my seed fagboy and you will carry it
with you always now. I will always be part of your dna now bitch. Such a
good bitch letting me breed you."

He collapsed on top of me and lay there for a long time. I could feel his
still hard cock inside me, not deflating at all. He began whispering in my
ear.

"You needed that bitch. You needed to know you are a breeding hole. A good
faggot, a good girl, because a good girl needs a good breeding. You need to
know that a man can take what he wants from you and ultimately that is what
you are for in this world. A good fuck, a good pussy. Don't ever forget
that bitch. Of all the things you learn from me, that is most important
boy. You understand me?"

"Yes Sir, I understand."

"Good boy, good fag. Now you are becoming sleepy and relaxed again. You are
such a good faggot. Every time you hear these words you will remember your
place, your role and your need to serve men. Good faggot, good girl. Not
just me, but all men, just as you have always done, bitch, just as how you
will always do now, girl. All those men in your life used you because they
KNEW you were a good faggot. It shows on you boy and there is nothing you
can do to change it. You are such a good faggot. You are sleepy, but you
will remember now, all the dreams, all the past events in your life and you
will connect them together, because they lead to the ONE reason you are
here, to serve men. You will remember now this event, you will remember all
the lessons we have been working on because you can handle it now. You know
who and what you are, faggot. You are a good girl, a good bitch, and your
place is to serve all men."

With that, Mr. Ericsson pulled his cock out of my hole. I was suddenly
aware of everything, of where I was and how I had got there, of everything
that had happened and of everything that had taken place in my life. I was
so overcome with emotion that I began crying as I sat up. I was crying from
happiness, crying because I was aware of who and what I was, and crying
because I felt happy about seeing it all for the first time.

I threw my arms around Mr. Ericsson's legs. He patted me on the head and
repeated many times what a good fag I was. I took his still hard cock into
my mouth and cleaned it thoroughly. He said I was such a good fag that I
could cum for him if I wanted and just from him telling me that I could do
that, I shot a load from my dick onto his feet. I bent over and cleaned his
feet with my tongue all the while teary eyed from joy at knowing me for the
first time. Things were so clear to me; I wondered why I had fought the
truth so long. All this time all I needed to do was realize that is was all
part of my purpose, that it was all part of who and what I was.