Date: Sun, 22 Feb 1998 14:55:23 PST
From: Vermont Kid <vt_kid@hotmail.com>
Subject: Vermont Summer Chapter 11

This is an ongoing project.  There weill be a few more
chapters.  I was hoping to finish this long before and am
surprised that it has taken me almost two years to get  to
this point in the story.  I guess my real life is getting in
the way of my memories.  At least I haven't abandoned it
altogether.

Don't read this is you are easily offended.  Don't read this
if it is against the law to read this where you live.

vt_kid@hotmail.com

Chapter 11---

I woke up early on Wednesday morning.  It was much warmer
and looking out the window from my bed, I could see the sun
was shining through the leaves of the maples on the lawn. I
looked over at my cousin who was sleeping on his side, his
back to me.  The top sheet was draped over his lower body,
his bony hips exposed to the light of the morning.

I stretched in the warm early morning air.  The slight ache
of my tight muscles reminded me of the hard work we had done
the day before, and the rewarding massage my cousin had
given me in the evening.  As I relived the feel of Chad's
strong hands on my muscles, I felt the familiar stirring in
my groin.  My penis, already hard, began to make little
jerking movements.  I pulled down the sheets and examined
with fascination my four inch tool.

My erection lay on my nearly hairless abdomen, but would
jerk upward an inch or two every couple of seconds.  I tried
my hardest to keep my hands from my woody, but eventually I
gave in to the desire.  My right hand stroking slowly up and
down, and my left hand cupping my loose balls, I imagined
what it would be like to lie alongside my cousin and to play
with his dick while he stroked mine.  I could picture it in
my head, examining his five inch penis up close, playing
with the small, dense patch of blonde pubic hairs, and
watching as he ejaculated onto his chest.

It would never be, though.  I am sure that if he even knew
my thoughts, he would hate me.  I imagined him somehow
reading my mind and forcing me out of the house in his
disgust for my "choice."  No, it would never be.

The negative thoughts had their effect on me.  My dick
softened to about two inches.  I looked over at Chad, but he
was still asleep with his back to me.

I must have fallen asleep again, because when I next opened
my eyes, Chad was gone.  I heard the sounds from the
bathroom and looked at the clock, noticing that it was well
after nine.  The morning had grown hot and hardly a whisper
of air rustled the curtains.  It was going to be a killer
day out there.  I hoped we wouldn't have to work as hard as
we had the day before.

We had our normal, naked breakfast out on the deck.  Even in
the shade, the heat of the morning was oppressive.  Not a
leaf stirred in the trees surrounding the yard.  The
humidity made it seem even hotter.  Already my body was
pouring sweat.

It got hotter as we worked throughout the morning.  We
dragged as the time went on.  Not even our mid-morning
lemonade break relieved the oppressive heat.  By lunch time
we had had enough work.

With a huge jug of lemonade and armfuls of junk food and
sandwiches in a cooler, we made our way slowly to our beach.
I surveyed the shoreline when we arrived and at the gay
section a hundred yards to our left was a sea of humanity.
Naked men were sprawled on every horizontal surface, and
many more were swimming and splashing around in the cool
waters of the lake.

We emptied our arms and proceded into the water as fast as
we could.  At last we could cool off!  Neither of us had the
energy to move; we just lay in the shallows, the water
covering our bodies from shoulder to toe.  Chad's dick,
slightly contracted in the cool water, bobbed up and down.
When his body made waves, his penis would move backwards and
forwards. The curves and folds of the underside of his cut
penis made the sight even more interesting.

"What d'ya think?  Wanna go to the rope swing?" Chad asked.

"Yeah, but it's a fuckin' long way down there.  Too hot to
hike all that way," I replied.

"I know, let's swim there!  If we get tired, we can get out
and rest."

This was going to be a test for me.  I didn't want to put on
my shorts for the long swim and I also was nervous about
going naked in front of all those people.  I debated in my
mind what to do.  I liked being naked, especially with my
cousin, but all those people would see me my tiny, little
boy's dick when I got out of the water.  On the other hand,
all those people, mostly men, were also naked and even those
who were not built seemed to be unashamed.  I thought back
on how I had grown accustomed to being naked in front of
Chad, and then in front of Todd.  Fuck, I even jerked off
with my cousin and wasn't embarassed too much anymore. Shit,
it was going to be difficult, but it also turned me on in a
way, knowing that all those people would see me. Finally I
made up my mind.

"Okay, that sounds fun. Let's do it!"

After fortifying ourselves with Doritos and lemonade, we
entered the water and began our journey of maybe a third of
a mile.  The surface of the lake was smooth as we breast
stroked with our heads out of the water.

"Slow down!" my cousin shouted from behind me.

Even though we had been in the water a couple of minutes, I
looked back and saw he was already ten yards behind me.  I
treaded water as I waited for him to catch up.

"Don't forget, I'm not a pro swimmer like you!" my cousin
said, huffing and puffing.

We continued on our way toward the distant point of land,
this time more slowly.  I could hear my cousin's breathing
and I knew we would have to stop long before we reached the
point.  Eventually he asked me if we could stop and we made
our way to the crowded shore, finding a relatively flat spot
without a sea of humanity occupying it.

Chad moved up on shore, lying back on a granite slab and
propped up on his elbows while I remained prone in the
shallows.  I looked up at my cousin and saw his wet body
shining in the sunlight.  His toes, closest to me, were pink
and wrinkled like prunes.  The sparse hairs on his legs were
plastered to his tanned skin.  His balls were retracted
tightly inside the wrinkled sack against his groin.  His
penis, shrunken to about three inches long, lay on his
tanned right hip.  Small drops of water clung to his pubes,
sparkling in the sun.  Streams of water flowed between my
cousin's rippled abdominal muscles and his strong chest
moved up and down as he tried to catch his breat.  His head
was thrown back, so I could only see the his chin jutting up
to the sky above the protrusion of his adam's apple.  Even
today, over two years later, I can still picture him like
that in my mind.

I looked around.  Like the last time, when we had passed
this area while hiking to the rope swing, there were men of
all ages and body types lying in the sun and swimming close
to shore.  Gay couples, seemingly oblivious to others,
chatted together.  Some were lying close to their partners
and some couples were even embracing.  It was almost
shocking for me to see it.  Wasn't this supposed to be gross
and unnatural?  At the same time, though, it made me feel
better about myself.  It seemed like it was so right.  I
longed to be able to express myself as openly as these men
did, but I also knew that I risked hatred and disgust from
my cousin.  And shit, I couldn't even summon the courage to
get out of the water and show my naked boy's body openly.

I looked around.  Most of the guys nearby didn't seem to
even notice us, even though we were the only kids in sight.
On the other hand, a few men were glancing our way.  Some
seemed to have annoyed looks on their faces, maybe because
two boys had intruded in a men only area.  I think that a
couple of guys were actually interested in what we were
doing, though.  Hell, Chad's ripped body made him look like
a god.

I noticed Chad was no longer breathing heavily.

"Ready to go on?" I asked.

"I think I'm gonna walk," my cousin said, a thoughtful look
on his face.  "I thought I was in shape, but I guess
swimming's not my thing, like you.  Are you okay with that?"

I knew what he was talking about.  He knew I was embarassed
by being nude in front of strangers.  He was so good about
that kind of thing.  He always thought about my feelings.
Maybe it was time for me to think about his feelings.  Maybe
it was time to try to ignore my shyness.  Maybe I could do
that much for Chad.

"Yeah, I'm okay with that.  I'll walk with you."

I could see the look of surprise on his face as I emerged
from the water.  I can't say it was an easy thing to do.  I
looked down at myself.  My balls were almost invisible,
pulled tightly into my groin and protected from the cold
water.  My tiny penis was even smaller than usual.  I
pretended I wasn't concerned about it.

From where we were on the shore, the trail to the rope swing
meant hiking among the boulders and up well inside the tree
line.  We had to pick our way through the sea of blankets
and towels, and scores of naked men.  I kept my eyes down to
the ground ahead, not wanting to see if anybody had noticed
me and was laughing.  I followed my cousin's footsteps,
trusting him to choose the best, and hopefully most direct,
route to the cover of the trees.  After an eternity I felt
the welcomed shade of and saw the dark earth of the well
worn path ahead of me.  That wasn't so bad!

I lifted my eyes and followed Chad's naked form as we
travelled the twists and turns of the path.  Within five
minutes we had reached our destination.  A small,
dark-haired boy and his bearded father were already at the
swing when we arrived.  The boy was no more than eight years
old, his tiny uncut dick sticking out over his wrinkled
ball-sack. The man, probably in his thirties had a compact,
defined body.  His beard was slightly more gray than the
dark hair on his head and covering much of his chest and
belly.

All four of us took turns swinging on the rope, with Chad
doing his usual goofy flops which caused the rest of us to
groan in the pain we imagined he suffered each time he hit
the water.  The funny thing was, I don't remember when it
was that my shyness disappeared.  It just seemed kind of
natural to be there naked with the other guys and I had
forgotten that I wasn't wearing any clothes and didn't even
have any nearby.

Eventually the father and son disappeared, leaving just Chad
and me.  We took turns doing daring feats off the rope. When
I broke the surface  after a particularly difficult one and
a half, I noticed a tall boy, maybe fifteen years old and
dressed only in baggy Michigan basketball shorts, talking to
my cousin at the top of the cliff.

I scrambled up the cliff, not even thinking about my nudity.
When I emerged at the top I walked over to the two boys.
Their conversation seemed animated and I heard the strange
kid talking about a tournament in Montreal.

"Hiya, Jase," Chad said.  "This is Justin.  He's on the
hockey team at my school."

I turned to the boy.  He was tall, maybe six feet, and thin.
He had longish, dirty blond hair parted down the middle. His
features were long, with a large nose that somehow seemed
right for his face.  His cheeks were reddish, not so much
from the sun, but more from blood, like he had an eternal
blush.  They were dark, much like the color of his lips.
Justin's adam's apple stuck out of his long thin neck and
moved up and down with each breath.  His naked upper body,
though not strongly built, showed long muscles that had seen
lots of work.  I could see small tufts of darker hair under
his arms.  His belly, even though thin, showed no hint of
abdominal muscles at all.  His dark blue, oversized shorts
hung on his boney hips and his thin legs were tanned, with
sparse blond hairs.  Loose Nike hightops covered his feet.

Suddenly I remembered that I was nude.  Embarassed at being
naked in front of him, I clasped my hands in front of me,
trying to make it look like a natural way of standing.

"Wassup, dude," he said to me in a low, unemotional voice.

"Not much," I replied, looking up into his blue eyes.

I noticed that those eyes were looking down at my naked
body.  I felt the blood rushing to my head and my ears
pounding with my heartbeat.  I was sure that my blushing was
very noticeable.  Maybe I wasn't really ready to be a
nudist. I decided I wanted out of there as fast as I could
go!

"I'm gonna swing some more," I said as I made my way to the
rope.  Instead of launching myself from the large boulder to
get as much height as possible, I took a running start and
barely cleared the edge of the cliff before I let go.  I hit
the water hard and I am sure the cracking sound my body made
could be heard half a mile away.

The cool water seemed to help stop the rush of blood to my
head.  I swam out towards the middle of the lake and looked
up at my cousin and his friend.  They were looking down at
me as they laughed.

"Nice form dude!" said the lanky newcomer.  I wanted to get
out of the water to show him what I really could do off the
swing, but my embarassment kept me in.  Instead I swam
around for a while, hoping the boy would go away.  After
five minutes or so I looked up and noticed that my cousin
and Justin were sitting and talking.  I figured that the kid
wouldn't go away so the only thing I could do was go back up
and rocky outcropping.

Once at the top, I decided to do one more swing, this time
to show off my best diving form.  I reached as high on the
rope as I could, and jumped up and back just a bit.  Soon
gravity took over and I was hurtling through the air, obove
the edge of the cliff and high over the blue water.  At the
height of the arc, I released the rope and bent at the
waist, in a perfect pike position.  At the same time I
crossed my right arm across my chest and kept my left arm
extended.  The pike position caused my body to rotate
forward and my arm gyrations caused me to spin.  After one
and a half rotations and a full spin, I brought my arms
forward and straightened my body.  I entered the water in
perfect extension and knew that I had barely made a ripple
on the surface.  It was the best dive I had ever performed!

When I broke the surface I heard applause.  I looked up and
saw Chad and his friend standing at the edge of the cliff,
fifteen feet above me.

"That was so cool, dude!" Justin cried down at me.  "How'd
you learn to do that?"

I scrambled back up, no longer embarassed to be seen naked.
So what if I had a tiny dick and almost no hair down there.
This kid thought I was cool!

"Jason swims and dives on a team in his town.  He can do
anything in the water," my cousin bragged.

"That looked so cool, man," said Justin.  "Can you teach me
how to do that?"

"I don't know," I replied.  "It's pretty hard at first.
First you have to make sure you get the right kind of
swing."  I continued to explain how I did it.

Soon Justin thought he was ready to try.  He kicked off his
Nikes.  I was surprised when he hooked his fingers in the
sides of his shorts; I had figured he would swim in his
basketball shorts.  I was disappointed to see that he had on
plaid boxers beneathe the mesh garment and made no move to
remove them.

Justin grabbed the rope much higher than I did and jumped up
just as I had explained.  I am not sure where he went wrong,
though.  I think he released the rope too soon because his
body did everything right, except he entered the water
before he ever had a chance to straighten his body.  A loud
crack signalled the pain he must have felt at the awkward
entry.

My cousin and I looked down the fifteen feet to the water
waiting for the boy to surface.  It seemed like forever but
finally his head broke the surface.

"Ouch!" he cried out.  "Now I know what they mean by hard
water!"

Laughing, we watched as he pulled his lanky body out of the
water and onto the flat granite slab at the base of the
cliff.  He muscled himself up and his boxers slipped halfway
down his hips.  When he straightened out, I could see his
dark patch of pubic hair poking out above waistband of his
boxers which were plastered flat to his body.  I could see
the contour of his penis through the wet material and it
looked like he was built twice as large as my cousin. He
reached down and pulled the shorts back up onto his bony
hips and as he did, his dick slipped out the fly.  He didn't
seemed embarassed. Instead he just reached down and placed
it slowly back into the boxers.

"Hey, Justin," my cousin said.  "Wanna come over to the
house?  We've got a shitload of food and you can tell us
about Montreal."

"Yeah, cool," said the tall boy.  "I don't have to be home
'til dinner."

Justin slipped his feet into his high tops, grabbed his
Michigan shorts and the three of us made our way on the
trail back to the house.  As we walked through the boulder
field, I noticed more than one person staring at the three
of us.  Justin and Chad walked ahead and I took up the rear.
The two were talking and seemed to forget about me. As for
myself, I was halfway down the shoreline when I realized
that I had forgotten all about being naked in front of all
the guys on the shoreline.  I guess I was making progress.


We were hot and sweaty when we got back to our private beach
so we dove back into the water.  The others no longer
ignored me because now I had the advantage in the water.  At
first it started as simple horse play with innocent dunking,
but soon it got a bit more physical.  I jumped on my cousin
and dunked him under the water.  He came up sputtering. Then
I swam after Justin and tried to do the same, but while he
was no match for me swimming, he was much stronger.  He had
managed to get his feet onto the sandy bottom and then to
pick me up and toss me what seemed like ten feet through the
air.  I landed with a huge splash but was back to the
surface and swimming after the lanky boy again. Again he
sent me flying.  The third time I went after him with a
plan.  I swam underwater to where his feet were and pulled
them out from under him.  Just as he was surfacing, I put my
hands on either shoulder from the front, mounted up as high
as I could get out of the water, and pushed down with my
extended arms.  I hardly noticed that my tiny dick was only
inches away from his face; all I saw was his body collapsing
underwater.  I had won the battle!

Eventually we tired from our game and went onshore to lie in
the sun to dry off.  Before lying down, though, Justin
hooked the elastic of his boxers at the hips and slowly
removed them.  His dense bush, darker than the hair on his
head, emerge first and then the rest of his genitals.  His
circumsized penis was long, probably seven or eight inches,
with a diameter of about two inches.  I had never seen
anything so huge in my life!  Even though his balls were
retracted like Chad's and mine because of the cold water,
they were larger by far than any I had ever seen.  I was in
love with his body!

Justin walked over to a low hanging branch and hung the
cotton boxers to dry in the sun.  He then lay down on our
blanket and the three of us stayed quiet as the sun dried
us.

Justin broke the silence.  "Hey, aren't you guys afraid
you'll get raped walking naked on the faggot beach?"

With that question, I felt as if somebody had punched me in
the stomach.  Suddenly I felt deflated and sorry that I was
lying there with these guys.

"Nah, they're cool," answered my cousin.  "And I wish you
wouldn't use that word around me.  Only ignorant people use
words like faggot or nigger.  I don't like to hang with
ignorant assholes."

"Hey, man, cut me some slack," Justin answered.  "Everybody
uses that word.  Shit, I was over on the beach there last
week and I saw some guys in some bushes beating off
together.  They're fucking perverts!"

"That's perverted?  Then what do you fucking call it when
you and Robby thought you were alone in the showers at the
rink last winter?  You seemed to like that a lot as I
recall."

Justin scowled.  He looked over at me with a threatening
look and then turned back to Chad.

"Hey, man.  You fucking promised you wouldn't tell anybody
about that.  You seemed to like what we were doing,
especially when we let you join the fun.  Besides, Robby and
I aren't fags.  We were just playing around with each
other."

"I told you not to use that word around me," my cousin
answered quietly, but with force.  He looked over at me and
said, "I think it's getting late.  We'd better move our shit
back to the house."  He got up and started to gather our
towels and stuff empty cans and wrappers into the cooler.

"Yeah," replied Justin.  "And I told my mom I would be back
home early.  I'll see you guys sometime."

With that, Justin walked over to the tree where he had hung
his boxers. I watched his tall, thin body make its way.  His
balls had begun to sag in the heat and his long, soft dick
bobbed back and forth as he walked.  He pulled on his boxers
and basketball shorts, grabbed his Nike hightops, and
quietly walked around the sheltering boulder and back down
the beach.

"What an asshole," my cousin muttered when the lanky boy was
out of earshot.

In silence we packed the rest of our food and towels.  After
a quick swim to cool off, we made our way up the path to the
house.

We didn't talk much as we cooked dinner and ate it on the
porch.  It was still light out and the Vermont summer
evening was filled with sounds.  Crickets chirped and
redwinged blackbirds called to each other.  In the distance
I could hear the lonely cries of the loons on the lake.  As
it grew darker the fireflies emerged, circling around the
edge of the woods and putting on a display to attact sexual
partners by blinking on and off.  I wished it could be that
easy for me.

Throughout the evening, my thoughts went back to what Justin
had said about my cousin enjoying doing things in the shower
at the hockey rink.  I wanted to ask him but didn't know how
to put it into words without upsetting Chad.

As we lay on the floor next to each other I kept trying to
figure a way to bring it up.  Finally I asked him if he and
Justin hung out together much at school.

"Nah, not too much.  He's wierd.  He pretends to be all big
and studly, but everybody knows he's the biggest closet case
in the school."

"What's a closet case?" I asked.

"You, know.  In the closet, except everybody knows what he's
like."

Chad saw the confusion in my face.  I had never heard the
term, closet before.

"In the closet is what gay people are called when they are
hiding it from other people."

I asked, "If he's hiding it from other people, how do you
know he's gay?"

"Well, you can tell.  When we were little kids playing
peewee hockey, he used to run around the locker room
wiggling his boner in all our faces.  Even then he was
bigger than all of us.

"And he was the first to begin to get hair down there. After
games when we were in the shower, sometimes he would jack
off in front of us, showing us that he could spurt.
Sometimes he would grab one of the other boys and pretend to
fuck their ass.

"But now we're older and he tries to hide it.  He talks
about how he wants to fuck hot chicks, but we all can see
him looking at us in the shower.  The funny thing is, he
never talks about boning the chicks until after his dick
starts to get hard when he's looking at us in the shower. We
all know what he likes.  Fuck, we talk about it all the time
with each other.  It doesn't bother the other guys.  I
figure he's just about the only person who doesn't know he's
a flaming homosexual!"

He laughed quietly and then continued.  "Besides, he's best
friends with Robby and Robby's blown every guy in our grade.
He can't seem to get enough.  And Justin is with him every
weekend, spending the night sleeping in Robby's big double
bed."

"How do you know that they sleep together?" I asked?

"I've slept over at Robby's house a couple of times.  I know
what happens when it's bed time!" he laughed.

"You mean Robby's tried to do things to you?"

"I told you he's blown every guy in my grade.  Yeah, we've
done things together."

"He gave you a blow job?" I asked, hardly able to believe
what I was hearing.

"Yeah," he grinned at me with that goofy smile of his. "It's
amazing.  His mouth was so warm and I was able to push the
big guy in all the way down his thoat and I even came in his
mouth.  Fuck, he was good!"

I could hardly believe what I was hearing.  My cousin was
admitting that he had fooled around with other guys and was
hardly even embarassed about it.  I didn't know what to
think.

We sat together quietly watching the end of the game on the
tube.  I guess both of us were a little horny after talking
about blow jobs and all that.  We played with ourselves a
little bit, but besides popping noticeable woodies, nothing
else happened.

I kept thinking about the things my cousin had said that
day.  Maybe things were going to be alright between him and
me, even if he found out I was gay.  He even mentioned that
he had a gay experience with a friend.  Shit, a new feeling
was coming over me.  It was like I had been alone on a
desert island for a year and suddenly I was with people
again.  I didn't feel like I was alone anymore.  It was
almost as if I had been nobody when the day started and now
I was suddenly somebody.

When the game ended, we cleaned up the house and ourselves
before heading to bed.  With the lights out we quietly in
our twin beds.

"Chad?"

"Hmmm?" he muttered.

"What did it feel like?  You know, the blow job," I asked.

"I told you.  It was incredible.  The best thing I have ever
felt."

"Oh."  I felt like I was trespassing or something.  I didn't
want to go too far. We lay in silence a few more minutes
before I broke the silence again.

"Do you think some guys our age are really gay or just maybe
going through a phase?"

"I don't know.  I've thought about that a lot.  I think some
people are born gay and that's the way they are all their
lives.  I think other guys are born liking both guys and
girls and that's the way they are.  Some guys are born
liking just girls and that's the way they are all their
lives.  Some people just don't know yet."

"What about Justin?  What kind of guy is he?"

Chad thought for a minute before answering, "I think he's
somebody who's confused.  He definitely likes guys and maybe
he likes girls, too.  But he doesn't want to admit it the
guy part.  His family probably taught him that liking guys
is a bad thing and so he doesn't want to admit it."

"What kind of guy are you?"

I couldn't believe I asked that.  It just slipped out of my
mouth almost without thinking.  Except I had been thinking
about it all night after he had told me about him and Robby.
When Chad didn't answer me, I thought I had pissed him off.

"I'm sorry.  You don't have to answer that, Chad.  I know
it's too personal."

"No, it's not too personal," he answered.  "Shit, we don't
have any secrets from each other anyway."

When he said that I felt really guilty.  I had that one, big
secret I hadn't told him or anybody else.  I had hardly
admitted it to myself.

"I am not sure what kind of guy I am," he continued.  "I
think about it a lot.  Sometimes when I look at the guys in
the locker room I get that good feeling in my gut.  Lots of
times I think about what it would be like with a girl, but I
don't get that same feeling when I look at girls down at the
lake.  I don't know.  I guess I'll figure it out one of
these days.  If I had to make a decision today, I think I
would say I like guys only."

I thought about that for a long time.  My cousin was so
amazing.  He had just confided in me the same secret I had
been hiding from him.  It took a lot of guts for him to say
that to me, not knowing what I would think.  I could have
rejected him altogether for what he had admitted to me, but
he was still brave enough to make the admission.  I think I
loved Chad more at that moment that anytime in my life.  I
found myself crying tears of happiness.

After an eternity, I broke the silence.  In a nervous,
halting voice, I said, "Yeah, me too."

The sounds of chirping and the deep breathing of my sleeping
cousin answered my admission.