Date: Sun, 29 Mar 1998 17:10:55 +0000
From: VT Kid <vt_kid@hotmail.com>
Subject: Vermont Summer Chapter 12

This is an ongoing project.  There weill be a few more
chapters.  I was hoping to finish this long before and am
surprised that it has taken me almost two years to get  to
this point in the story.  I guess my real life is getting in
the way of my memories.  At least I haven't abandoned it
altogether.

For those of you looking for hot sex between boys, you're
going to be disappointed with this story.

Don't read this is you are easily offended.  Don't read this
if it is against the law to read this where you live.

vt_kid@hotmail.com


Chapter Twelve

I woke up early; I guess the birds greeting the morning sun
with song, had awakened me.  As I lay in bed I tried hard to
go back to sleep but the oppressive morning heat and my
overactive brain conspired to deprive me of the extra hour
or two I needed.

My thoughts kept racing back to what Chad had told me the
previous evening.  My cousin admitted to me that he was gay!
I looked over at him lying naked, face down on his bed.  In
my mind he didn't look any different; his tanned body in its
unconscious state was still muscular and athletic. I'm not
sure why so many authors talk about the angelic look of a
person in sleep; with his sweaty hair sticking to his scalp
and saliva dribbling from his open mouth, Chad looked
anything but an angel.

In my heart, though, I saw him as a totally new person. This
guy had risked everything by admitting to me the deepest
secret anybody can have.  In my heart I saw a glow around
him that hadn't been there before; he seemed an angel in
spite of his physical state as he lay there asleep.
Impossible as it seemed to me, I loved him more than anybody
on earth and his admission the night before proved he loved
me.  I couldn't believe that anybody could trust anybody
else so much.

I also thought of myself.  While my heart swelled thinking
about my cousin's love, I found I could deflate it when I
thought about myself, hiding my secret inside me.  I wanted
to prove my love to him, but I had spent years protecting
myself.  The night before I hadn't had the courage to admit
it to him until he had fallen asleep.  Years of practice had
made it easy to keep the truth from him.

I guess I had fallen asleep again because when I looked
over, Chad was no longer in his bed.  I heard noises coming
from the kitchen so I quickly got up and took care of my
morning bathroom duties before joining him.  He was in the
kitchen, naked as usual, although the countertop blocked my
view of his lower half.

"Morning, Chadwick!" I smiled to him.

"Morning, Jason," he replied quietly without looking at me.

"What's for breakfast?"

"Whatever you want to get for yourself, dude.  Same rules as
always," he said.  With that, my cousin walked out the door
and onto the deck.

I poured myself a bowl of Cheerios and joined my cousin
outside.  We sat in our usual chairs and munched on our food
without too much comment.  I finished my cereal quickly and
went back for another bowl.  Emerging from the kitchen, I
broke the silence.

"Looks like another hot one."  A pretty lame comment, but
somebody had to say something.

"Mmmm," was the only answer I got.

I sat down again and we continued to eat without sayng a
word.  The only sounds were the birds and a steady south
wind rustling the leaves of the forest surrounding us. Again
I broke the silence.

"What are we gonna be doing today?"

My cousin replied, "Well we need to scrape as much of the
west side of the house as we can.  South winds usually mean
rain so I don't want to risk painting today."  I dreaded the
hard work but knew he was right.

"Sometime this afternoon we should clean the house real
good.  Mom's coming back tonight."

This time it was my turn to reply, "Mmmm."

We worked without much talk all morning long.  The work was
hard and the humid high temperature didn't make things any
easier.  The fact that I had so much trouble going back to
sleep that morning made things even worse.  I was in no mood
to work hard but there was no way out of it.

"Fuck!" I shouted when my scraper slipped out of my sweaty
hand for the tenth time.  I quickly picked up the offending
tool and threw it as hard as I could into the woods.  I
heard it bounce off a tree after it had disappeared from my
sight.  I know it was stupid, but I was angry.

"Hey, asshole!" Chad shouted at me.  "Those things cost
fucking money.  Now go get it, dipshit."

That comment stung me.  My cousin had never said a mean
thing to me in my life.  I was unprepared for the fury in
his voice.  Without word, I turned and walked into the woods
in the general direction of my throw.  It took me almost
twenty minutes to find it, half hidden under the brown
leaves that had fallen the previous autumn. I was afraid to
go back, but even more afraid to not to.  I didn't want to
risk any more of Chad's anger.

When I returned to the house Chad was still scraping, but
with even more vigor.  I watched his naked, sweat-covered
body as the muscles glinted in the hazy sunlight.  From the
side I could see his perfect penis and loose balls swing
with each long, deliberate stroke of the scraper.  I watched
paint chips fly, some landing on his moist body and his
drenched blond pubic hair.  Somehow, though, the magic I
felt whenever I saw him like that wasn't there.  Instead, I
looked away, hoping he wouldn't get too angry at my long
absence.  He turned to look at me as I returned.

"Sorry," I said in a small voice.  "I won't do it again.
I'll work during lunch to make up for the time I lost."

"No you won't.  I'm the one who should be sorry.  There's
something eating at me and I don't know what it is.  I
shouldn't take it out on you," my cousin said.  He returned
to his scraping without saying anything more.

We continued to work in silence the rest of the morning. The
wind picked up steadily as we scraped and by noon the tree
limbs were thrashing back and forth.  After a quick lunch
break we continued to work, knowing a storm was coming. 
Sure enough, at about 3:00 we heard the distant rumbling of
thunder rolling towards us from the south.  As the sky
darkened we quickly gathered our equipment and got it into
the garage just as the first raindrops began to fall.

Since Aunt Leslie was returning home that night we spent the
afternoon cleaning the house.  Chad did the bathroom while I
cleaned the kitchen.  I worked on the bedroom while he
cleaned the lving room.  Outside, after the initial
thunderstorm, a driving rain fell throughout the rest of the
afternoon.  To keep the rain out we had closed all the
windows; the house became stifling as we worked.

With the house as spotless as two young teens could make it,
we had dinner.  We talked about nothing throughout the
evening as we watched reruns of Friends and Seinfeld.  Our
usual jokes and laughter were absent.  At 9:30 it was time
to get dressed again; Chad's mom was due within an hour.

As Chad pulled on his boxers and I dressed myself in my
Umbros, I realized just how much I had come to enjoy being
naked.  It had been days since I had worm anything, and even
the loose fitting soccer shorts seemed to confine me.  Even
more, I had realized how much I enjoyed seeing my cousin's
naked body in every aspect of life.  My tiny and almost
hairless penis didn't compare to his bigger equipment, but
there was a contentment I felt in just being able to be
myself around him and having him be himself around me.

But was I really being myself, though?  My cousin had
admitted to the most terrible secret imaginable; he told me
that he was gay.  At the same time, though, I couldn't find
the courage to let him know about me.

With the driving rain we hadn't heard the truck coming up
the drive until it was almost at the house.  Drenched, Aunt
Leslie came in the the front door.

"I hope the outside of the house looks as good as it does
inside!" she exclaimed as she looked around.  "Ugh! It's
stifling in here, though.  I hate having to keep the windows
shut during these storms."

We talked a little about her buying trip and then she told
us to make sure the lights were out when we went to bed;
driving through the storm had exhausted her.  We turned down
the volume on the TV so she could sleep.  We watched Leno
for a while.  We were actually returning to normal again,
laughing at some of his jokes.  He began a joke about gay
guys in West Hollywood and Chad clicked the remote over to
Letterman.  I looked over at him; he was frowning.

Exhausted from rising so early that morning, and the hard
work that day, I went to bed early that night while Chad
continued to watch Letterman. I removed my shorts and
climbed into bed naked.  It was still too warm in the house
to get under my sheets; I lay as still as I could, listening
to the rain pounding against the closed windows, and hoping
I could cool off.  Just like that morning, though, my
overactive brain would not let me relax.  I kept reviweing
the events of the day.  Chad's angry words to me when I had
thrown the scraper played through my head over and over
again, each time hurting more than before.  Yeah, I was
stupid for throwing the damned thing, but his words and his
puny apology only made me feel worse.

To top everything off, the day had started so great.  I
remembered how my heart pictured Chad as an angel.  Here was
somebody who loved me enough to confess his deepest secrets.
Now, at the end of the day we were barely talking to each
other.  I couldn't help myself as I felt the tears begin
filling my eyes.  The day began as one of the happiest in my
life and now all I wanted to do was to go home and get away
from my cousin. I wanted to cry out loud, but instead
stifled a sob.

I heard Chad approaching the room and I quickly turned
towards the wall, not wanting him to see the tears in my
eyes.  Trying to hold back my sobs, I was relieved when I
heard the shower running, giving me time to compose myself.
When Chad finished and made his way quietly through the
darkened room, I was able to control myself and my
breathing.  I listened to him, waiting to hear steady
breathing signalling sleep.  And as I waited, those terrible
angry words crept back into my mind.  "Hey, asshole!  Those
things cost fucking money.  Now go get it, dipshit."  In
spite of my efforts I let out a sob before controlling
myself again.

"Jason?"  my cousin called out to me quietly. "What's
wrong?"

I pretended to be asleep.

"I heard you, Jason.  Don't fake being asleep.  We gotta
talk.  I heard you!"

I didn't say anything.  I heard the springs of his bed and
his bare feet padding against the carpeted floor.  I felt
his hand on my shoulder pulling me towards him as he sat
down at the edge of my bed.  I could smell his freshly
washed body and hair.

"Jason,"  he said quietly.  "I'm sorry.  I fuck up
everything I do. I wish we could go back to the way were
were yesterday morning."

I thought about that for a short time.  Why did he think he
had fucked up?  I was the one who threw that thing in anger.
I was the one who was too chicken to tell him I was gay
until he had fallen asleep.  I was the one who did
everything wrong.  Why was he saying he was fucked up?

"Look, Japer.  I heard you.  I messed things up between us
and I am sorry.  I am so fucking sorry."  His naked body,
sitting beside me on the bed started shaking as if he were
crying.  Then I heard a sob escape from his mouth.

That's when the anger and frustration of the day took over.
I could no longer hold back the tears and cried as quietly
as I could.  Between the sobs I tried to speak.

"N-n-no," I said.  "I'm the fuck up.  I shouldn't have
gotten so mad.  I woke up too early this morning and I was
tired and it's hot and I hated having to work so hard and I
did stupid things and you should be mad at me."  The words
poured from my mouth as I finally allowed the day's
frustrations out.  "I promise I won't be stupid like that
again.  At least I'll try anyway."

"Japester, I fucking heard you.  Don't you understand?  I
heard you and it's my fault!"

Now I was confused.  Of course he had heard me crying.
That's why he had come over to my bed.  It wasn't his fault
I was crying.

"It's not your fault, Chad," I said.  "I'm just tired.
Sometimes I cry when I am tired."

"No," he said.  "I heard you last night.  You said 'Me,
too.' when I told you I was gay."

Now I understood!  He hadn't been asleep last night!  And
then I felt the sudden rush of shame.  The person I admired
most in the world knew about my dark secret.  I wanted to
curl up and die right there.  The blood was pounding in my
head.  I was so confused.  On one hand he had admitted to
being gay and I should have been happy he knew about me.  On
the other hand, it was a secret I had held on to for so
long, I didn't want anybody to know, especially the one
person I loved so much.

He continued.  "I tried so hard to keep it in when you got
here.  I didn't want you to know about me.  I tried not to
make you be like me.  I'm sorry.  I fucked up."

I was confused again.  "What are you talking about?" I
asked.  "You didn't make me gay."

"Yes I did.  It's my fault!  I turned you gay," Chad said.
"I fucking pranced around naked and forced you to be naked,
too.  I kept trying to hold it back but it got worse and
worse.  I laid in bed holding you and beat off in front of
you and massaged you and...  I tried so hard not to but I am
a fucking pervert.  I guess they are right when they say
queers are out to recruit younger guys.  I am such a fuck
up!"

He began crying without control now.  I was seeing a new side
of him.  He wasn't the self-assured, older cousin teaching
me how to be honest about myself.  Instead he seemed the
insecure younger one.  I reached over to him.  He tried to
pull away but I grabbed his wrist with all my might and
pulled him back to me.  I reached up and wrapped both arms
around him and pulled his body down to mine on the bed.

"D-d-don't," he said between sobs.  "You shouldn't be doing
this.  I'm a fucking pervert."

"Shhh," I replied quietly, holding his warm body tightly.

After his body relaxed a bit I continued, speaking in a
hushed tone.  "You haven't turned me gay.  How can you turn
the sky blue?  It already is.  You haven't done anything but
be yourself.  The only thing you have forced me to do is to
try to be myself.  Can't you see that I'm the fuck up?
Everything you do is so natural.  You don't hide things. I'm
the fuck up.  I can't even tell you, of all people, about
the real me."

We lay together quietly for a long while, listening to the
rain against the window, but now with much less force.
Finally Chad broke the silence.

"We're both a couple of fuck ups, I guess."  He looked up
into my eyes a smile on his face.  "Are you sure I didn't
turn you gay?"

"Nope. As long as I can remember I have been, as Justin
would say, a 100% faggot!"

We laughed quietly as we lay together face to face.  I could
feel his hard, throbbing cock hot against my left thigh. 
The underside of my small dick dug into his stomach. His
hair smelled of shampoo as his head rested on my chest. We
listened as the last few drops from the storm spattered
against the window on the other side of the room. I looked
into his eyes and saw the glistening of tears on his cheeks.
I brought my face down and gently kissed his cheeks with a
quick movement.  Even though it was just a quick, shy peck,
I could taste the saltiness of his tears.

We stayed in each other's arms like that for another half
hour.  Finally, we began to sqirm a bit and released our
hold on each other.

"We gotta get some sleep or Mom's gonna be pissed," Chad
said.  "Thanks for everything, dude.  Sorry I broke down on
you."

"That's okay," I said.  "You're pretty cool, even if you are
a faggot."

With one more quick hug, my cousin got up from my bed and
walked back to his own.  I watched the familiar contractions
of his ass muscles as he made his way.  He sat on his bed,
reached up, and opened the window above him.  I could feel
the cool air rush into the room.  The storm had replaced the
stifling heat with cooler, dry air.  I was more comfortable
than I had been in days, or maybe even in my whole life.