Date: Mon, 23 Jan 2012 10:40:50 -0500
From: dave stout <dodge1191@hotmail.com>
Subject: Voyage of Self Discovery, chapter two

"Voyage of Self-Discovery, Chapter Two, the Aftermath"

All rights reserved. Other than downloading one copy for personal
enjoyment, no part of this story may be reproduced or transmitted by any
means, except for reviews, without the written permission of the author.
Comments on the story are appreciated and may be addressed to the author,
Dave at --- dodge1191@hotmail.com

This story contains descriptions of consensual sexual contact between
Males. As such it is homoerotic, designed for the entertainment of mature
adults.  If you are not of legal age to read such material or if the
subject matter would create any kind of personal moral dilemmas, please
exit now.

========================================================================

Although the title suggests it there is no boat involved in this voyage. It
is instead simply a tale of a young man's struggle to understand who and
what he is. It's never easy to come to terms with the desires and foibles
that define you as a person. Chris's awakening is a common yet strangely
often untold tale. We are all composed of the sum total of our experiences;
journey with Chris as he explores just who and what he is. This is chapter
two of the saga and while it can stand alone, it is best enjoyed if you
read chapter one first.

Cast: Chris (Chrissie)-(Young man not yet comfortable in his own
skin)--Eric (Chris's mentor)-Helmut (Club Trainer)

In these few, short weeks I had come to terms with what formed me and just
who I was. Eric had taught me my destiny was to service the alpha males
that excited me; I was to be their suckboy; when a cock was presented to me
I was to think only of how best to pleasure it. My favorite college class
was now "cock service 101."

I now knew just how different the "up close and personal" service as a
cocksucker was from the anonymous sex at places like "gloryholes". Looking
an alpha male in the eye has you served his cock was very humiliating, hot
and exciting; it had forced me into coming to terms with my need for
submission. This was just the way it was and I accepted my new role; it is
what it is. In a very strange way once I acknowledged that I was simply a
cocksucker meant to serve better men I finally felt free; I was out of the
shadows now and happy in what I was. There isn't a bit of nuance possible
in your thoughts when you have a cock stuffed into your mouth and you gaze
into the eyes of the man he's serving. You have to finally realize that
you're a cocksucker meant to be used by the alpha-males of the world

Since Eric had begun mentoring me I had learned a great deal. I now knew I
was happiest on my knees, between his legs. He had told me early-on that a
boy like me would be happiest when kneeling down; it was simply a perfect
measure of respect from servant to owner. The term owner had initially
confused me but I had finally come to terms with it; Eric had said that his
cock would be all I could think of and he was right, it now owned me. Even
when my mouth was empty it seemed that I still had the lingering taste of
piss or cum in my mouth and liked it.

I wasn't allowed to play with my own cock but found that I often would cum
when he pissed in my mouth and sometimes when sucking him off. I think it
was the humiliation that washed over me has he stood in front of me with
his cock just lying on my tongue. Our little ritual had evolved into a
series of steps that kinda underlined my submission. When he wanted me for
urinal duty he just motioned me to my knees in front of him and of course I
opened my mouth and sucked in his cock just like I when I blew him. The
piss signal was when he slapped my cheek, not too hard, not too softly. I
then had to open my mouth and stick my tongue out as his cock laid on
it. He took a while before starting his flow and I was to keep looking up
at him in anticipation. It was his smirk of superiority that got me every
time; after the wait when he let the first little spurt loose I would
quickly tighten my lips around his cockhead and I would often cum right
there. Eric would laugh about it and tell me that I was born for the
humiliation of being a cocksucker. Has for me I never was able to determine
if it was the wait, the smirk or that first taste that got me off. I
suppose I just thrived on the humiliation of it all.


This was the weekend that Eric picked to show me off to his
friends. Instead of meeting him at his home I had the address of his
club. He had instructed me to just show up and all would be explained. The
club façade was very nondescript without so much as even an outside
sign. It seemed to be a reclaimed warehouse without windows and a well
maintained brick facing.  I wondered if I had the right place as I opened
the door. Inside of the small anteroom an older man asked me why I was
here; I gave him my name and said that I was here to meet Eric Smith. He
smiled and waved me into the adjoining locker room saying, "you're name is
on our guest list so strip down and put your stuff in locker number
33. Your uniform is in there, it's all you'll need. When you're finished
I'll let you into the club."

It seemed strange but a lot of what Eric had gotten me into was strange so
I stripped and hung my clothes in the locker. The "uniform" was simply a
piece of hemp rope and two pieces of pink cloth. A photo on the locker room
wall showed a young guy with the pink cloth pieces arranged as a loincloth
using the rope as a belt; it was obvious that this was to be my "uniform."
I was nervous yet excited enough to have a hardon has I arranged the
loincloth as modestly as possible.

There isn't any sense of modesty possible when you enter a room in a pink
loincloth; everyone knows what you are and why you're there. I now knew I
was just another suckboy so I might as well flaunt it; I walked with a sure
and deliberate purpose, proud of being a cocksucker here to serve my
man. The doorman didn't even look up has he hit an electronic buzzer
unlocking the door.

The inside was decorated like an old English men's club with oak panels on
the walls and thick, heavy red curtains framing faux windows. There was a
traditional walnut wet bar, complete with stools on one side and the rest
of the room was filled with heavy leather furniture. Someone had taken
great pains decorating it for even in the dim light it looked like a warm
and inviting place for a businessman to relax and unwind. I chuckled to
myself has I realized that I was probably part of the "relax and unwind
staff."

I stood in the doorway as my eyes slowly acclimated to the soft, dim
lighting. I could now see that there were quite a few people in this
room. The top guys were mostly in little, white, short silk wraps that
opened in the front, some were still in their business clothes, some were
naked. The bar stools were full and many of the floor chairs had men
sitting in them. Appearances aside I knew that this wasn't a "Rotary Club"
Thursday night meeting room.

I heard Eric's voice calling "Chrissie" from the bar and headed quickly
over to him. This was what he wanted and all I needed to know. Eric was
summoning me.

He was leaning on the bar talking to a big guy in his fifties. Just as he
had taught me I fell to the floor in front of him. They continued talking
completely ignoring me. My eyes had finally adjusted and I looked around
the place; there was sex everywhere. Men were being sucked off at the
tables and there was a leather fucking-sling off in one corner. The man
Eric was talking to had a pudgy suckboy licking his crotch as he talked. I
guessed that there were about 30 people in the club pretty evenly split
between subs and tops. I was startled back from my thoughts as I felt Eric
reaching into my mouth and using his fingers to pull me onto his cock. Of
course I licked across his fingers and sucked that very familiar cockhead
of his into my mouth sighing with contentment.

As Eric's cock started to harden he started rubbing the back of my head and
gently pulling it forward onto his hardening cock; I loved it when he
stroked my head running his big hands through my hair like I was a puppy.
All the while I kept my concentration and tried to concentrate on pleasing
the cock filling my mouth, just as I had been taught. I felt that cock
widening and stretching my mouth has it hardened.  I closed my lips tightly
around the cockhead giving Eric just the pressure I knew he liked as I
swallowed it.  Soon his cock filled my mouth and touched against that
closed muscle right at the entrance to my throat. Even after all his
coaching I always gagged when his cockhead pierced thru the sphincter into
my throat. After the first couple of choking gags I could get it under
control; I just got used to it plugging my gullet. After that Eric could
face-fuck me at will as I writhed on his tool.

We were deeply into cocksucker rhythms now as he pulled my head onto his
prick, in-out-in then out again. I was vaguely aware of animal like grunts
and what seemed like an open faucet pouring sticky saliva-water from my
mouth; it was all me, the dripping and the cocksucker noises!

I heard Eric ask the man with him, "how's the service?"

"Not too bad Eric, you know how it is when you're breaking in a new boy. At
first they can't believe they are just another cocksucker, they like to
deceive themselves that it'll never happen again, that their just normal
guys. This boy sucking me off right now was at first very reluctant to let
himself go; he'd do what he was told but there was always that little
hesitation, that small note of defiance was always there. I finally had to
truss him up with his hands behind him and laid him out on the bed. After I
positioned his head to hang off the bed I slowly fucked his mouth while I
told him how it was just like a cunt, a cunt with a tongue. Oh, at first he
twitched and squirmed but soon settled down. Whenever I felt a little tooth
as he gasped for air I swatted him hard, like you would any bitch. He got
the idea after a while and I began fucking him like a cunt. He gagged and
sputtered but he now knew that my cock in his throat ruled him. He must
have decided he liked this face fuck for I noticed his little cock was hard
as a rock" the man said.

So the boy sucking off his man next to me was new also; I wondered if this
was his first time at the club like me. Eric grabbed my head and slowed me
down; he often just wanted a mouth to keep him on the edge of cumming as he
just enjoyed me pleasuring him.

He abruptly pulled me to my feet by my ears and motioned me to follow. In
the back of the place they had a long, red leather couch; the man sitting
in the middle of it was reading the newspaper while a suckboy serviced his
cock. Eric told me that, "that's Helmut; he's the proprietor of this
club. He actually started it when he came here from Germany. It's been our
custom to present a new suckboy to him after a certain level of training
has been reached; I think you're at that level Chrissie. It's time now to
move onto servicing other men; you're a cocksucker now and keeping you just
to myself would be selfish. Get down there on your knees and make me proud
son."

I had the fleeting thought that "shit, I was being pimped out" just as I
fell slowly to my knees. The suckboy reluctantly moved over to relinquish
his place and I slid into the now-familiar place between a man's legs. I
sunk my knees into very plush, soft cushioning; they had installed superb
knee pad cushions right in front of this Helmut guy. I thought it funny
before I remembered Eric telling me that a comfortable cocksucker served
the best. I knew enough to clasp my hands behind my back in the way of all
supplicants, just before I gazed up at this new cock. Helmut remained
behind his paper has I looked at his cock. It was bigger than Eric's at 7
thick inches and was topped by a very large purplish-pink head. The piss
hole looked for all the world like a gun barrel. I thought to myself that
this cock still glistened with the last cocksucker's saliva and I kinda
recoiled at that until I put it into perspective. I had recently been
trained to drink a man's piss and slurp up cum and now I had second
thoughts on the eve of my debut! It was too funny as I chuckled to myself.

My ruminations were interrupted by Eric telling me to get on with it and I
lowered my head to that big cock looming right in front of me. I snaked my
tongue out and ran it across that wet, wide piss slit then opened my mouth
to envelop his cockhead. I was aware of to actually stretching my mouth to
accommodate its girth. I slowly began to suck him off in a relaxed,
worshipful way.

I heard Helmut talking, "he's not too bad Eric; it's obvious that he longs
for a nice fat cock filling his mouth. I can see he is a natural submissive
by the way he uses only his mouth to make love to my cock, so many of these
boys want to use their hands to speed up the blow job or even worse play
with their own cock. You've taught him to concentrate on the cock in his
mouth, that's the right attitude."

Eric said, "I knew he was born to be a cocksucker when we were about half
way through his training; he always seemed eager to go to the next stage
whether it was licking my ass or choking on my cock. When he actually blew
his load sucking me off I knew he had potential."

Helmut was smirking as he replied, "I like the way he keeps eye contact as
he takes my cock. Has he learned to take cock right into his throat yet,
I'd like to try him out?"

"Oh go ahead Helmut, I can stuff his throat now but I'm not sure he can
take your pole has easy, go right ahead."

I felt Helmut's big hands has he grabbed my head and began slowly feeding
more cock into my mouth; slowly fucking my mouth. I was anxious but knew my
place, I didn't fight him has he advanced his cock deep into the back of my
mouth until it popped thru into my gullet. He face fucked me a few more
times, just using my mouth like a cunt until he abruptly clamped his hands
on my ears and pulled me right off of his cock. I kept eye contact has I
gasped air into my mouth dripping with saliva.  He just held me there
looking at me with an arrogant, screw-you Donald Trump like smile when he
released me and said; Look around Son, take a good luck at the crowd
watching you. They are the witnesses to your graduation as a pleaser of
men, a trained cocksucker."

I looked around and it seemed almost every man and suckboy in the room was
there, just watching me has Helmut had fucked my mouth. It was humiliating
and wonderful all at the same time. There's something about submission in
front of a group that heightens the sense of shame that a cocksucker feels
when he is kneeling in front of an alpha male prepared to suck his cock. I
know that at that moment, after all my training, my face blushed to a
bright crimson.

Helmut brought me back to earth as he grabbed my head and said, "There,
there, Son, good job so far, you know what you need. Open your mouth wide
for my cock; just think about the cock plugging your throat, making you
mine, my cocksucker."

I was now very aware of the people gathered around us, watching and
commenting on my humiliation. I noted that the room was full of the
slurping, sloshing sounds of cocksuckers providing service and I could
smell that familiar Musky, male crotch aroma that I loved. All this gave me
a feeling that I wasn't alone, they understood me.




I leaned in and opened my mouth wide as I slid my lips over the purplish,
mushroom shaped head just has he pushed my head down the shaft. All the
while I kept my tongue continually licking and circling the velvety cock
skin. I soon felt his cock head reach the back of my mouth and slip ever so
slightly into my throat. I couldn't help it, I started to gag and I pulled
up quickly. After catching my breath I repeated the procedure. This time I
let the head slip further into my throat and I was finally able to get
control over my gag reflex.

A stringy, wet saliva bridge had formed from the head of his cock to my
open lips with bubbles of foam on his dick head and in the corners of her
mouth. My saliva was gushing like a fountain.

"Wait, stand up, go to the throating bench" he said, breaking our erotic
connection. Eric took me over to an adjustable bench; it was narrow enough
that a man could easily stand astride it. I was motioned onto it with my
head hanging off cushioned by a built in pillow. A hand crank adjusted the
height and within minutes Helmut's cock was visible, it looked huge upside
down. I heard him say, "This will give you a better angle so you can take
more of this cock you love into your mouth. Let it slide down your throat."

Helmut slowly fucked my mouth. I had to admit he was right, at this angle
it was a little easier to throat his cock but I still gagged on it.

I felt the thick, rubbery cock head pressed against my throat as it once
again passed the point of no return.  I successfully fought the gag reflex
and tried to swallow which I knew was very pleasurable to Helmut, the owner
of the cock. He had blurted out, "That tight throat feels real good there
Son when it tightens and spasms around my cock; it's like a milking machine
then."

With that he started to stroke his prick back and forth, in and out,
essentially using my mouth, lips, tongue and throat as a cunt. As he picked
up speed and his large cockhead repeated pounded into my throat Opening; I
gave up on sucking him and just kept my lips as tight as possible on his
cock shaft using my tongue to rub the bottom on his cock has I tried to
synchronize my breathing through my nose to keep air going to my lungs.

After about 10 strokes, I thought I had mastered the gag reflex thing but
as soon as I tried to concentrate on to my breathing, I gagged on the large
cock head plugging my throat opening.

I heard Eric say, "keep trying Chrissie, you can do it, I know you
can. Make me proud boy!"

Helmut started stroking into my throat, not even backing out of it but just
stroking in the opening entrance. This was effectively stopping any air
from getting to my lungs. I tried to hold my breath as the pounding became
more and more rapid until finally I gagged again just as I took a deep
breath in through my nose. I felt a bit better has I continued breathing
through my nose. Helmut didn't miss a beat; In and out his cock plunged.

I felt his balls dragging across my eyes every time he plunged in. I wasn't
gasping for breath now; I had become used to this invasion. Once I learned
that I wasn't going to die and figured out how to breathe I actually began
to enjoy Helmut's fat cock plugging my gullet. I sensed his balls were
tightening and knew he was ready to explode his sticky cum load into his
cocksucker's wide open throat.

My lips were slamming against his pubic bone on every down-stroke now. His
balls spasmed has they tightened and with a moan he spewed his first load
of cum directly down my throat. The second eruption splashed against the
back of my mouth, while the final spurts ricocheted off my tongue, coating
the remainder of my mouth.

I swallowed and swallowed as Helmut sprayed my throat and mouth. I couldn't
prevent some of the stringy, sticky liquid leaking from her mouth and
running down my chin. Eric stroked my hair has I snaked my tongue out to
capture the stream of cum that dripped out of my mouth. I heard Eric
saying, "you know what to do now Chrissie, finish up."

I did know, Eric had often explained that after a cocksucker had serviced a
man it was his responsibility to clean him up. I fairly scampered off the
bench and fell to my knees in front of Helmut and began licking his sticky
cock clean. I used my nose to lift his balls and ran my tongue over his,
now tight, ballsack until it was clean. When I returned to his half-hard
cock and sucked it into my mouth I heard him talking to Eric, "your boy
appears to be a wonderful sub, docile and very attentive. He's responsive
and eager without an ounce of hesitation or defiance. He takes to his role
as cocksucker like he was born to it. I especially like the little flashes
of his vulnerability as he realizes his need to submit, it's very
enduring. You've done a great job bringing him along like this; I'm glad I
supported you for the job of recruiter. I'll take him from here Eric while
you can begin the search for another recruit."

Helmut motioned me to my feet and surprised me by just taking me to the
bar. "Have a beer Son, you earned it and we have to talk some."

I was thrilled that the club's "big Man" wanted to have a drink with me,
treat me like a regular guy. Has Popeye famously said, "I yam what I yam",
there were no illusions now, I was a cocksucker.

I stood at the crowded bar sipping my beer and beaming with delight when I
felt something wet on my cock; there was a cocksucker holding my loincloth
to the side and sucking on my cock. I sipped my beer, enjoying the
cocksucking being expertly given by the boy at my feet. Helmut was talking
now, "He's pretty good isn't he Chrissie? I know you're a bottom-boy but I
thought you deserved a little treat after your initiation into our little
club. You took a big step today; sucking cock in front of a crowd is a very
different proposition from giving an intimate blow job to a buddy. Our club
is dedicated to bringing cocks and cocksuckers together in an environment
conducive to making everyone happy. I can see looking at your face that
you're enjoying the cocksucker I assigned to you as your reward but at
heart your much happier being the suckboy. I'm curious, how did it feel
kneeling down and being face fucked while you were in the middle of a
crowd? I looking for more than just a "felt good" kind of answer; let
yourself go and tell me what it really meant to you"

The question demanded an answer and I tried hard to be honest even though
the slow cock-sucking I was getting made it difficult to concentrate. In
the back of my mind I realized that Helmut had instructed the suckboy to
keep me just on the edge of cumming. "Sir, I was very excited and I think
the humiliation aspect of my submitting caused my excitement. When I fell
onto my knees in front of you with the crowd gathering to watch I knew that
finally and completely I was a cocksucker and happy with myself. I always
knew I was a little different, eager to please and not too comfortable with
the girls. In high school I would feel a little tingle when I was in the
locker room. I didn't realize then that I was a natural submissive who
wanted nothing more than to submit to the alpha male guys who I couldn't
stop looking at. I just felt comfortable on my knees sucking your cock and
the crowd watching me just heightened my feelings. At that moment I wanted
nothing more than to suck your cock better than anyone ever before had. My
own cock was hard as a rock just with the thought of what I was going to
do. When I put my tongue on your cockhead, knowing that everyone was
watching my submission I felt at home, happy and content. In a funny sort
of way that freed me; I had acknowledged that I was just a cocksucker,
there was no longer any reason to deny it in my own mind. Does that make
any kind of sense?"

Helmut smiled and gave me a fatherly pat on the head has he replied, "Oh
yeah, it makes perfect sense to us. We've often had to lead a boy into the
reality of what makes him tick. At this point Chrissie you're a full member
of our club. Has you've probably guessed we're a group of guys with common
interests; we have guys who want their cocks serviced and guys who are
cocksuckers. The vast majority of cocks are married straight guys who have
found that a dedicated, male cocksucker provides much better service than
any women can. Guy blow-boys worship cock and want nothing more than to
feel it stretch their mouth as it pulses with pleasure. On the other hand
women suck cock grudgingly and demand a romantic dinner or jewelry; it
takes hours of falderal about feelings and love to get a mediocre blow job
then they spit out your cum load. What a bunch of crap. A boy cocksucker
just wants his man's cock, cum and pleasure."

Helmut was right; I didn't want anything nothing more than to please the
cock I was servicing. When there was a prick filling my mouth my only
thoughts revolved around his pleasure to the point where my best
cum-climaxes were when swallowing cock. This boy eating my prick was pretty
good also; he would take me right to the edge then return to licking my
balls and mouthing my cockhead. I noticed that Helmut had adopted that
"superior" smirk as he continued.

"In our club there are no inhibitions; you're free to be what you were born
to be. Our members meet a couple of times a week and take pills to increase
their cum loads. We've found that our best cocksuckers gradually evolve and
can only cum themselves when pleasing a man. I think you'll be one of those
boys, wholly dedicated to being a cocksucker. Of course total service will
demand that you drink a man's piss; there is no better way to acknowledge
your submission than to kneel and let an alpha male piss into your
mouth. You're of a very docile nature and you'll fit in very nicely
here. Do you see this ring; it's worn by the top-guys in our group. When
you see a ring like this you're to ask if he wants to be sucked off. You'll
have a different kind of ring that marks you has a cocksucker for the
members when you're not in this clubhouse. A lot of our members make
"arrangement" outside of our meetings to have cocksuckers come to their
office for a quick suck; it's all good."

He lightly slapped my suck-boy's cheek and the cocksucker stopped and
left. Again that all-knowing smirk as he said, "I wanted you to see just
how pleasurable a trained cocksucker can be but we both know that's not for
you. You're happiest being the mouth-cunt; go over there and suck on that
white haired guys cock, get going."

This was new but I hurried to obey. The man was talking as I approached and
knelt down in front of him. I reached up to cup his considerable manhood
and asked; "Please Sir, may I suck on your cock?" he answered by using one
hand to push his cock into my mouth without either him or his partner
missing a beat in their conversation.

The cock was damp and just a little stiff; I wondered if another cocksucker
had just finished up a blowjob before I arrived. Has I sucked and licked on
this stranger's cock, nicely hardening and starting to fill my mouth, I
thought of how perfect this was; how lucky I was to have finally found my
place in the universe. I was a cocksucker now and happy to serve I thought
just as a spurt of cum hit my tongue, happy indeed.

Fini