Date: Wed, 18 Jun 2003 16:53:29 +0000
From: Troubled Kid <troubledkid1985@hotmail.com>
Subject: Adventure-Training-3

Disclaimer: Usual stuff, dont hurt the children (seriously - put the kid
down!)  if your dont like it, stop reading. Contains sex and if you dont
like that, get help!

This is LOOSELY based on myself and the people I know. Names and places
have been changed to protect identities and the storey it is allot
different from my real life. Apart from 3 or 4 main characters, all other
similarity between characters and places and real people and locations is
entirely accidental, so please accept my apologies. I have really strayed
away from fact, soon the storey will be entirely fictional, but for now,
one or two bits are still based on real incidents.

Finally:

Dedications:- To the real life version of James and Martin. 80mph, small
country road, one van coming the over way. Thank god for my driving skills!

To Simon, with love.

And to Tyler, mind which wall you look at.......

-----------------------------------------------

Adventure-Training


Chapter 3

We would be heading back on the Sunday, and by Thursday I was dreading the
end. On the second walk during Thursday, it was allot more challenging that
the first. The distance was about the same, but there would be no walking
down one valley, up another, and no well-trodden paths. The route we had to
plot the night before involved walking valleys in the worst possible way:
down one side and up the other.

We set off with everyone in much higher spirits than usual. All the kids
for whom it was there first time on this trip had a newfound
confidence. After all, they had done one long walk that week without
incident, why would the second be any different?

An hour in, I was talking to Mr. Smith about school, when he pointed out
something I had missed.  "You'd better keep an eye on that one, I think
he's gunna have trouble today." I don't know how he could look in to the
future and see who would find it difficult and who wouldn't, but I turned
my head to see who he meant. "One of the most important things about
walking in a group, you are only as fast as the slowest man."

It was Simon. He was walking allot further behind that I realised. I
thought he was up with Mr. Smith, myself and the other teachers. He must
have dropped back when I hadn't noticed. Simon's feet were going down hard
on each step, his face betraying how painful it was.

"Ok, I'll take care of it."

I tried to drop back as casually as possible. I slowed my pace and
gradually Mr. Smith and the other teachers gained ground on me. Another
group of 3 kids over took me, then, eventually, Simon caught up.

"What's up, mate?"

"Nothin'."

"Yeah right! What's up with your feet?"

"Nothing, nothing, I just got a few blisters on the last walk and so I
didn't do my boots up all tight."

Oh god! That's the WORST thing you can do! With walking boots, you need to
have them tight. Not so tight that it cuts of circulation, but tight enough
so they don't slip and rub.

"come here!" I said with a note of exasperation in my voice. I knelt in
front of him and explained shoes rubbing, making it worse etc, etc, as I
undid his shoes and pulled hard on the laces. He winced in pain as the
leather tightened about the blisters. "What socks are you wearing?"

"Thick cotton ones, like Mr. Smith said to pack."

"Good, good. At the next stop, I am having a look at your feet to see if
there ok."

"Yes, Mum!" Sarcasm doesn't become him.

We walked at a slower pace than everyone else, so after half an hour, when
everyone stopped for a drink from there water bottles, we arrived when
other people were already getting up to leave.

"Right, shoes of, Mister!" Mr Smith past me the first aid kit, and as Simon
took of his shoes, I saw that it would be needed. "Shit! Blood..."

He winced in pain as he took of his socks. They were damp with both blood
and sweat, and no matter how attracted I was to him, there was no way I
could EVER like THAT smell! His feet were a mess. One of his toe nails had
dug in to the side of the toe next to it and had made a nasty
hole. Blisters had burst, skin rubbed red and raw. I had done a first aid
course about 2 years before, and I set to work fixing him up. He trimmed
the offending toe nails so he could do the shoes up as tightly as possible
without bleeding again. I used the same pair of scissors to cut away some
of the skin on the blisters that had popped, but I left the un-popped ones
alone. I then used the tape to bound the back of his heels and the bottom
of his feet. The tape is weird stuff, like a plaster but without the bit
that goes over the wound and on a roll.

As I held his feet and could feel his skin against mine, I knew then that I
couldn't deny it to myself anymore. I fancied him! It was something that
scared me. Your whole life, you don't imagine there is anything that can
change you so radically, radically enough to become gay!  Nowadays, I
realised I am Bi, and I actually think I have always been like that, it
just takes someone for whom you are SO attracted to, that you cant ignore
it and you have to realise who your really are. All I knew in that moment
was that I didn't want him to ever have to feel pain again, I wanted to be
close to him and I wanted to protect him.

I turned his socks inside out and he put on the left as I put on the right.
I put his boot back on and did it up as tight as I could. I looked at his
effort on the left boot. He clearly didn't want them tight, and had left
the loose enough to rub again.

"Sorry, mate, it needs to be tighter than that." I pulled on the laces and
tied them tight again.

I pulled him to his feet and we each took a quick swing from my water
bottle as we walked off, following the last of the group as they left.

The whole walk for us was allot slower. We reached the group at lunch time
last, and we reached the minibus last. We were about an hour later at the
end than the group. Mr. Smith had kept the rest of them walking at a normal
pace and had trusted me to look after Simon. The last car park was on the
top of a hill. I think Mr.  Davis plans all the start and finish points on
the walks, because his group ALWAYS seem to end up walking downhill more
than up: our start point was in the town by the lake, about the lowest
level of land in the whole area! I tried my best to encourage him and get
him through the last few hundred meters, but it was hard. It was tipping it
down with typical English rain: continuous, heavy and cold, so I wasn't too
happy either!

We reached the bus and pulled ourselves on board. It was full of members of
our group, passing round a flask of coffee.  I turfed someone out of my
seat and Simon asked if the person sitting where he normally sits could
move. The guy just grunted, too tired and cold to argue. They were all
rapped up in their own jumpers, no one looking happy! The windows had
steamed up with the condensation from everyone's breath.  I dunno why, but
ever seeing Titanic, steamed up windows always make me laugh, no matter
what the reason for the mist.

I smiled to myself and looked at Simon. He got the joke without me saying a
word and reached across me, I felt my heart rate quickened again as he
leaned across. He put his hand against the window, and pulled it down,
smearing his hand print down. We both laughed out loud.

It was the same drill as every bus trip at the end of a day this week.
Everyone too tired to notice, everyone sleeping, some leaning against
other, Simon again leaning against my shoulder. I sat and thought about
everything, rather than sleeping as usual. I tried to understand everything
I was feeling about this kid. It was true, anyone who got to knew him would
have found him to be funny and a good friend to have around, and I have no
doubt any girls who saw him would agree when I describe him as cute, but
could it really be that he had "turned" me gay?

It all went round and round in my head, but I couldn't figure it out.

That evening, I talked at dinner alone with Simon about dreading the end of
this week. I had come on this school trip every opportunity I had, but now
I had university coming up. I had a place lined up for me, all depending on
good grades in the summer. At university, it was going to be a completely
new life, new friends, new place. I wasn't sure I really wanted all that,
as I was happy with the life I had! I talked to Simon about all this too. I
dunno why, but I was now, four days into the week, talking to him about the
sort of things I would only normally talk to James about.

"Well you could still come on this course." He said

"What do you mean?"

"Well Mr. Smith said you and James were as good as staff members, so next
year, come as a member of staff! The breaks in uni are the same time as
school holidays, so why not?"

"you know what, that's the best idea I have EVER heard! But it wouldn't be
the same without everyone here, like James" It was true, James and I had
come on this week together so often, he was as much a part of the holiday
as the activities.

"Well I'll be here."

"ok, here's the deal, I'll talk to Mr. Smith about next but I'll only come
along if you do. Done?" I offered him my hand to shake.

"Deal!" he shock my hand and grinned from ear to ear.

I talked to Mr. Smith about it and he was happy to say I could come, but he
did think it was a bit pre-emptive, as the week hadn't even ended.

"there was something else I wanted to ask you about" I stopped him before
leaving. "Tomorrow we're going to the lake for water sports?" It was the
same each year on the Friday. The water sports were really lame, though,
pedal boats and canoes on a lake!

"yes, yes, in the morning we are, then the boys can look round the town in
the afternoon"

"Do you mind if I hire a boat for the day out of my own money and go round
the lake?" Mr. Smith knew that I could sail, but he didn't look too keen.

"I'm not too sure I want both you and James disappearing all day, we need
people to keep an eye on them in town."

"Did I hear my name?" James had been walking past and had caught Mr. Smiths
comment.

"Yes, James. I was just saying that I don't really want both you and Mark
going sailing tomorrow."

"Sailing? ME? HA! No thanks, Mr Smith, I'll say with the main group"

"Oh, then who do you want to go sailing with, Mark?"

"It would only be a Wanderer, I can sail one of them on my own."

"You sure? You could take someone else with you, just not James, we need
him to keep these guys in line." Wow! We really were counted as members of
staff. "And I would actually prefere you to have someone with you, in case
something goes wrong."

"Well, ok, how about....." in truth, I had planned this all along, but I
didn't want them to know that, did I? "Simon?"

"yeah, that would be fine, but you'll have to hire the boat out of your own
money!"

"ok". James and I turned and walked up the stairs.

As we headed to the room, James gave me a look. "You planned that all
along, didn't you? You know I don't like sailing!"

"Anything wrong with that?" I think I came across a bit too defensive.

"No, No, sorry! God, don't bite my head off!"

I got to the room to see the last thing I expected. Greg and one of the
year 11s were fighting in the middle of the room! A crowd was around them,
the shouts of the other kids egging them on was deafening.  "Get him,
Greg!" Sam shouted from his bunk, "kick his ass!", one of the older boys
shouted. I pushed myself as quickly as possible through the crowds of
boys. As I got closer, I saw Greg land one hell of a punch on the bigger
year 11s nose. He may have been bigger than him, but he wasn't bigger than
me. I pulled the two apart and practically threw Greg on to one bed and the
year 11 on to another.

James was there with impeccable timing, shouting, "RIGHT! Everyone else,
outside, NOW!!!!"

He pushed, pulled and chucked all the boys out leaving myself, Greg and the
year 11. I noticed Simon made no attempt to move. He was on his bed,
sitting in the corner of the wall. I had a feeling he had something to do
with all this, so I didn't make him leave.

"Ok, what the HELL was that all about?!" Greg looked visibly shaken by my
tone, the older boy just stared back at me. He's trying to be a hard man. I
could see it on his face. "Come on! One of you explain it!"

Greg snapped, "He's been winding me up all week! taking the piss out of
Simon and me for hanging out with you and James." I had to stop myself
laughing and keep a straight face. I had heard of calling someone a
'teachers pet', but 'older pupils pet'? That was a new one! I looked
straight at the older boy.

"You've been winding him up to this?"

He held my gaze for what must have only been a few seconds, but felt like
forever. He couldn't keep it up and dropped his eyes to the
floor. "No......" He seemed to shrink as he spoke.

"Right, out." He looked at me, questioning what I had said. "OUT!"

I had never seen someone move so fast in my life! He was out the door so
quick, I thought he would trip up over his own feet.

The door closed behind him and I sat on the bed he had been on. I sighed
and sat back against the wall.  "You shouldn't have started a fight,
though, no matter how much he'd wound you up." Greg looked dejected and
stared at the floor. "Then again, that was one hell of a punch!" He looked
up and saw me grinning. He knew he wouldn't be in trouble from me right
then. "I can't condon it, but there are times when even I feel like hitting
out at people. You've gotta learn not to. People will try and get to you
your whole life, and you'll end up getting hospitalised in a bar brawl
before you are 20 if you keep hitting out."

"I know, but you should have heard some of the things he was saying, about
me, you, Simon, James and even Sam! They've been saying things like..."

"Stop!" I interrupted, "don't say it again, because it really doesn't
matter! No matter what he said, that's all they are, things he said! Words!
It's not important. But as soon as you hit him, he could hit back and hurt
you with more than just words. If you can learn to just stop caring what
people say about you, you wont have a reason to hit back and from then on,
no one can hurt you."

"What about other people." He glanced at Simon as Greg said this. He had
been sitting listening to us but not saying a word.

I kept looking at Greg as I continued, "you should always defend those who
you care about."

"ok, I know what you mean. Mind if I go now?"

"Course, but steer clear of that other kid, ok?"

"ok!" he said over his shoulder as he left.

I got up and walked to my bed. I put rested my arms on Simons bed. "Walk?"

"yeah."

Simon and I left the room. James was outside the door waiting. "It's all
sorted, mate. I'll explain later."

"ok"

We walked out the back door of the hostel and started heading up through
the fields.

He spoke without me asking him to explain everything. "I was the one who
struck out first. He called you a fag coz you liked talking to me
allot. And I hit him. Greg pushed him off me and that's when you came in."

I was shocked! Not that these kids took the piss out of me, that didn't
bother me, never had! These were the rugby playing elite of the school, if
only in the younger year 11 form. They would've be called 'jocks' if we
were in America. There were many other things that shocked me. First, that
Simon had the balls to strike out at someone a foot taller than
him. Second, that Greg had been willing to take the blame from me!

"That interesting. Greg was willing to let me blame him for throwing the
first punch. I guess he already understood what I meant about defending
people you care about before I even said it."

"Yeah," Simon said, "He's a good mate."

"Mate?"

He grinned, "Friend."

We walked for about half an hour. Occasionally talking crap, about TV or
music, but mostly walking in silence. I then remembered what I came up to
talk to him about. "OH! yeah! I forgot! I'm gunna go sailing on the lake
tomorrow instead of the canoeing and visiting the town. Its a two man boat,
a wanderer, so you wanna come along?"

"You mean you'll teach me to sail properly?" I nodded, "BRILLIANT!"

"I'll take that as a yes then!"

Walking round in a big circle, we got back to the hostel about 10 and
headed to the room and Simon and I stripped off to get into bed. Some
people were doing the same, others were sitting around talking. I noticed
the year 11 sitting playing cards with a few of his mates. He looked
nervous and wouldn't look in my direction. That made me smile as I got in
to bed.

"what was up?" James leaned across to ask.

"Same as ever, someone teasing, someone snapping, someone lashing out."

"From what I here, you missed something out," He nodded up to the bunk
above him, to Greg, "someone sticking up for a friend."

I nodded. "yeah, I got the full storey from Simon." I whispered. "But not
until Greg had stuck up for him again by trying to take the blame"

"Cool kid!"

"Yeah"

----------------------------------------------------

Stay tuned for sailing, swimming and sun bathing. But sorry, no speedos. I
am going for realism and sailing in a speedo would be just plain DANGEROUS!
Thank you!  troubledkid1985@hotmail.com