Date: Sun, 17 Dec 2000 21:30:55 -0500
From: Charlie <charlieje@nc.rr.com>
Subject: Andy-revised-23

The following story is total fiction. Any relationship to persons
living or dead is purely accidental.

This story depicts sexual acts between people of the same sex
(male), some of whom are under age. If you find this concept
distasteful, or if it is illegal where you live, or if you are
underage, please stop reading now.


              XXIII Back On The Farm

"You really loved him, didn't you?" Andy questioned as they lay
in bed, Charlie cuddled close and crying softly. It was almost
midnight, and the last of the mourners and friends had finally left.
There weren't too many who had much love for Garth, but
everyone knew the rest of the family and recognized that a lost
son is a lost son. Billy, feeling very much the third wheel, had
gone to bed shortly after delivering Charlie back home.
"Course I did!" Charlie sniffled. "He was my brother, Andy. It
wasn't his fault he was the way he was."
"Are you sayin' it was Mom and Dad's fault? Or yours?"
"I dunno, Andy. I don't think so though. I don't know whose
fault it was, or if it was anybody's, but it wasn't Garth's. He was
just always so screwed up, for as long as I can remember. He
was so unhappy he couldn't stand to see anyone else be happy."

Andy tightened his grip as he held Charlie to him. "All I know,"
he said, "is that you've had to deal with far too much lately. Now
we have to let things settle down and get back to living. Just be
my lil brother, ok? You're safe now, and I love you so much!"
"Yeah, Andy, I love you too. And the first thing we gotta do now
is to talk about Myrtle Beach."
"We'll get there in lots of time, but right now let's not worry
about it, ok?"
"No, it's not ok, Andy. We gotta talk about it now. I don't wanna
go! I can't go! But I don't want to mess up your chances."
"You don't want to go? But I thought..."
"I thought so too, Andy. I thought I wanted to go. I thought Dad
wanted me to go. I thought he was tryin' to get rid of me, Andy!
An' I couldn't bear to be without you. But things have changed.
Things are different now. Seein' Garth that last time made me
realize I can never be happy any place but where I am right now.
And then I realized that Dad never wanted either one of us to go.
He really did want what's best for us. But what's best for me is
right here. Please tell me I don't have to come with you? Please?"

"Charlie," a confused Andy said, "I tried to tell you that. What
happened? What changed your mind?"
"Billy. He told me some o' the things that Dad told him."
"Billy?"
"William. He told me I could call him Billy."
"I thought you didn't like him, Charlie."
"I thought so too. But he waited for me at the graveyard. Then
when the storm started we had a talk. He's cool, Andy. An' he
told me that Dad told him he needn't bother coming here at all
unless he's ready to accept you and me in charge. You and me,
Andy! Just like always!"
"Charlie, I tried to tell you... Oh never mind. I'm just glad you
can finally see. And I'm glad you decided you like Willia... er...
Billy after all. I think he's great!
"Yeah, well you just like that truck."
"It is a great truck, but I like mine better. But why all of a sudden
don't you want to go to Myrtle Beach? I thought..."

"That's what you were supposed to think. I thought I wasn't
welcome here any more. But I can do what I gotta do right here!
On the farm where I belong!" In Charlie's head, and only in his
head, Garth's last words kept ringing over and over:

"Go on, get outa here, Tonio! You got a great life, good family, a
big brother that's good to you like you deserve. Go back to 'em
and make 'em proud!"

He started to cry harder. Now he knew that Garth had already
made his plan when he said those words. He knew that Garth had
known then that he'd be dead within the hour. "Andy," Charlie
said as he looked at his brother through his very red eyes, "if you
weren't my brother, if we had never met, if you hadn't come to
live with us, I dunno if I could get through all this shit. Thanks,
Andy. Thanks for being my brother! I love you so much!"
"I know, Charlie. But I did come! And that's why I don't ever
want to leave. You and our parents have given me love like I
never dreamed I'd ever see. I didn't even know love like this
existed.

"Charlie," Andy said, "I've only been here a few months. I never
wanted to go to Myrtle Beach or anywhere else, but I felt I had to
so I could look out for you. I can't bear the thought of being
away from you. You need me Charlie, but I need you too. So if
you're not going, I'm not either."
"You don't want to go? But why?"
"I love it here on the farm, Charlie! I never wanted to go! This is
my home now, and I don't ever want to leave! Certainly not till I
have to."
"You have to now, Andy! You'll never get another chance like
this."
"Chance at what? A life I don't want? Some high class job in
New York or Boston or some place? A music career in Nashville,
touring all around the country all the time? Livin' on a bus? This
is my chance, Charlie! This is the chance I dreamed of my whole
life and never thought would happen. Having a family, parents
that love me, a cool little brother! That's all I need and all I want.
Shit man, if you're not a performer I certainly am not one.

"Charlie, I won't go without you. And besides, YOU'll never get
another chance like this either."
"But what'll you do?"
"Same as you. Stay here and work the farm, go to school, then
NC State. But you and your music! It's so important to you! I
never dreamed that you would give it up for the farm."
"I love music! But it's not my life. This is my life, here on the
farm! I love the music more when I can enjoy it on my own
terms, not somebody else's. If I can't sing and play on my own
terms then it loses some of the fun. I love to perform, but it's
'cause I don't have to. I don't suppose I'll ever stop singing and
playing as long as I can do it, but it's not gonna rule my life. For
me it's the thing that keeps me going, the thing I can enjoy no
matter what else is going on. I love to perform, but only when
and where I want to, not whenever some agent says I have to.
And I got some ideas about how to start a new band: a family
band! You wanna hear 'em?"

It took some convincing, but eventually the boys persuaded
Dennis that they had never wanted to go to Myrtle Beach, that
each had been going because he thought the other wanted to.
When he reminded them that if they didn't go they were faced
with the same problem: that Charlie, and possibly Andy, would
be back in a school situation where they could not be challenged.
They had the answer for that too! "Everyone says what a great
teacher you are, Mom." Charlie said, "So why can't you home
school us, like you were gonna do if I'd joined the castrati choir?
That way we can schedule our school work around what has to
be done on the farm. An' now we got Billy here to help. I know
he'd love the chance to tutor Andy and me!"

"Billy?" Karen questioned, "You've gone from hardly giving
William the time of day to Billy in forty-eight hours? And you
want him to tutor you?"
"He says it's ok, Mom. He likes me callin' him Billy."
"What about the rest of us? What do we call him? Now it's me
feeling left out."
"Why don't you ask him? And at the same time ask him if he'd
like to help home school us? Please, Mom? There's gonna be a
lot of work to do around here if we're gonna expand. You know
you need us. Puhhhllleeeeeeezzzzz?"

Andy couldn't help chuckling to himself as he saw Charlie the
little boy emerge: the little boy that hadn't shown himself for
almost a full year. If Andy had any doubts why he loved Charlie
so much, they had just dissolved completely, along with any fear
that Charlie would be anything but all right. The self confidence
was back; the security that he was loved and cherished; the
spoiled little boy who knew exactly how to push his mother's
buttons so that she knew they were being pushed, but she was
powerless to resist.

"You sure you want that?" Karen asked. "You know I'm not an
easy teacher. I'd demand far more of you than any other teacher
you might get. Remember how you used to complain when I first
started teaching you to play. Sometimes you whined as if you
were being tortured."
"Does that mean you'll do it?" Charlie said excitedly.
"AWESOME!"
"If that's really what you want."

"C'mon, Andy!" Charlie said as he tugged on his brother's arm,
"Let's go tell Billy."
"I don't even know where Billy is." Andy protested as he was
dragged bodily from the kitchen.
"I do. He's in the barn, measurin' the moisture content of the hay
bales."
"He's doin' what?"
"Yeah, I know, it sounds crazy. Comes from all that education I
guess. He don't believe we can tell just from the color of it that
it's ready to bale. He's afraid the barn's gonna burn down 'cause
the hay's too wet."
"But you told me baled hay doesn't catch fire, that it just spoils
and rots if it's too wet."
"Yeah, I know. But Billy says he heard about a barn burnin'
down somewhere, so now he says he's gotta check all the hay in
the barns and outdoor stacks."
"All of it? Every bale?"
"No, even Billy wouldn't try that. He's doin' a sampling. BILLY!
Where are ya?"

The two excited boys climbed the ladder to the top of the loft,
following the muffled answer that told them Billy was in the back
corner of the full loft. "Well?" Charlie demanded when they saw
him, "Do we gotta get this hay outa here before it catches fire?"
"It's fine, Charlie," Billy replied as he pulled his moisture sensing
doodad out of yet another bale, "just like you said."
"Well..." Charlie said as he and Andy exchanged glances and
nods, "this old barn might still be in danger."
"Really? From what?"
"How hot does this hay have to get before it catches fire?"
"I'm not sure, Charlie. But spontaneous combustion takes a lot of
heat."
"Well," Charlie said as he jumped on Billy, knocking him down,
"let's just see how much heat we can generate. You with me,
And?"
"You got it, dude!"

Charlie snatched the moisture probe out of Billy's hand and
plunged it into a hay bale. "You won't be needing this," he
grinned, "and we don't wanna impale anybody, at least not with
this thing."

At first Billy was unsure what he was up against, but soon it
became obvious that he was being attacked by two brothers; and
this time there would be no backing down. They rolled over and
over in the hay, all three giggling, tickling, groping like the kids
they were. The term "roll in the hay" suddenly popped into
Billy's head, causing him to laugh hysterically. Too late he
realized that his clothes were coming off.

Billy resisted; his boots came off. He was on his back now, with
Charlie on his chest pinning his arms, Andy sitting on his legs.
Overall straps were released. Charlie's weight lifted off Billy's
chest just enough that Andy could pull the overalls down. He was
fighting valiantly, but he was losing. "Charlie," he begged,
"Andy...  What... what're y'all doing?"
"Initiation!" Charlie giggled as the action stopped.

"Initiation?" Billy questioned, "Initiation for what?"
"Your new job, of course! You're gonna be our teacher. We're
not goin' to Myrtle Beach, Billy! We're gonna be home schooled
by you and Mom!"
"Really?"
"That's what she said," Andy confirmed. "That is if you agree."
"You agree, don't ya Billy?" Charlie demanded as his hands
grasped some very personal appendages.
"Well... Yeah! I think it's GREAT!"
"Good!" Charlie said as his lips moved to where his hands had
been, "Now on with the initiation!"

"Just exactly what did you two perverts have in mind?" Billy
wanted to know.
"Research." Charlie answered.
"Research? What kind of research?"
"Well," Charlie said as he slid up and planted a kiss on Billy's
lips, "Andy already told ya we need to check the heat resistance
of this hay. Then there's one other thing I gotta know. It's really
important to me."
"And... what might that be?" Billy was not at all sure he wanted
to hear the answer to the question, but Charlie whispered
something into his ear that first shocked him, then had him
laughing hysterically. "You're sick!" he screamed.
"What?" Andy demanded.
"Later." Charlie mouthed to his brother as he went back to the
task at hand.

In seconds all three were totally naked, lying on their clothes to
protect them from the prickles they'd be sure to get from lying
directly on the hay. For the next hour, Billy was the recipient of
some of the most intense pleasures he'd ever experienced in his
life! At first he tried to resist, but Andy assured him that he
wasn't the first to "molest" Charlie, and that he knew from
experience that Charlie would not take no for an answer. Charlie
was quick to remind him of the scene in the church yard where
Billy made it quite clear that he'd refused Charlie's advances not
because he wanted to, but because it simply wasn't the right time
or place. "Besides," Charlie grinned, "We gotta make sure this
hay loft is fireproof."

"Well?" Billy asked after they had all rested for a few minutes,
"What's the verdict?"
"Hay seems safe enough." Charlie answered dreamily.
"And the other?"
"No difference that I can detect. But I might have to extract some
more samples to make sure."

Billy started laughing again. "You're so sick!" he chortled.

"What!" Andy demanded impatiently, "What other? What
difference?"
"Nuthin,'" Charlie grinned. "I just told him I needed to see if
Aggie cum tastes any different than Atlanta city boy cum. They
taste the same to me."

"Your research is flawed." Andy accused, "You're basing an
important decision on a sample of one, and only one experiment.
I gotta confirm your findings."
"Confirm away." Charlie agreed, "You go ahead and gather the
Aggie sample, I'll get a city boy sample for ya, only I won't
swallow it this time, I'll give it to you."

"You're right," Andy confirmed fifteen minutes later, "There's
no distinguishable difference."
"You guys!" Billy grinned sheepishly, "How long have y'all be
carrying on like this?"
"We're not near as bad as you think." Andy replied, "we're
just..."
"We're just not used to gettin' the chance to do real live
scientific research on an Aggie!" Charlie interrupted with a grin.
"And a Chinese one at that!"

Billy had become a permanent fixture on the Conner farm by
early fall. He had a long conversation with his mother in Texas by
phone, explaining to her that what he'd thought had been just a
summer job had turned into a long term project, maybe even a
career. He had worked closely with all the Conner family, in
many ways even became a member of the family. He had made
contact with all sorts of state agriculture officials and experts, to
say nothing of having many conversations and meetings with
Carlo Meoli.

The home schooling idea worked out well, to say the very least.
Andy and Charlie were caught up by mid October, and by
Thanksgiving they were well on their way to finishing their year.
It was beginning to seem as though they had indeed got back into
the business of living their lives without interruption.

That is until Carlo and Guido came calling just a few days before
Christmas.

"First thing I'd like to talk about," Carlo began after they'd had
one of Karen's best meals and were seated in the living room, "is
your farm. William and I have been talking for a couple months
now, and I think we have a deal worked out that you're all going
to like. That young man has been working very hard to make this
little family farm into an economic unit, and I think he's done it."

I thought so! Andy thought to himself, He's gonna buy the farm
out from under us. He has offered Dad so much money that he
simply couldn't refuse. Andy felt the panic building. He shot a
glance at Charlie and he saw in those gorgeous blue eyes the
same panic.

"I have to tell you boys," Carlo went on, "your mom and dad are
formidable negotiators. Don't ever think because they are country
folks that they don't know how to get the most from a business
deal. And with the addition of William and his connections both
here and in Texas, I sometimes feel as if I'm just going along for
the ride."
"Dad..." Charlie pleaded, "what... why did you keep it a secret?
What're we..."
"Just let Carlo finish," Dennis interrupted. "But nothing is signed
yet. If you boys don't agree, then I've already told Carlo the deal
is off."
"But that's just..." Andy argued, but Dennis raised his hand to
stop him. "Let Carlo finish, ok?" he said.

"I understand your concern, boys," Carlo continued, "But hear
me out. I think you'll be surprised what we've worked out.
William and I have looked around the area and there are at least
three thousand acres of farmland that is not in use for one reason
or another. Most of this land can be bought quite cheaply. My
proposal is that we go into business together, raising and selling
sweet potatoes, Irish potatoes and peanuts. You three have the
expertise, you know where to get good labor around here and it's
no secret how hard you all work. William has the scientific
connections and knowledge of all the newer techniques and
modern machinery. I have the money, so why don't we just pool
our resources and build up the farm? That way you can stay here
which Dennis assures me is what you want."

"But the farm will be yours!" Andy protested.
"Not at all," Dennis answered. "That's why we're doing it this
way. We will be in business together, but the contract will be
worded in such a way that if we should decide some time later to
terminate the arrangement, there will be a low interest loan to pay
off whatever is left of the debt. Actually there shouldn't be that
much debt, what with the incredible cash settlement we got from
that lawsuit with the hospital."

"We'll need a lot of equipment," Charlie reminded them. "Those
three old tractors wouldn't be able to handle that much of a
load."
"That just might be the best part of this whole thing for you,"
Carlo said. He knew of Charlie's passion for machinery and took
great pleasure out of telling them: "Under the terms of this
agreement, there is provision for two new tractors, large ones,
plus a new combine, peanut harvester, potato digger, plus the
various other items such as seven bottom plows, large boom
harrows, and probably a new truck. I think we've thought of
everything, but we're interested in any comments you might
have."

"I might add," Dennis offered, "Billy wants to buy the old Jones
place and lease it back to us as long as we have a partnership. He
would eventually remodel or rebuild the house so that he'll have
a place of his own. Billy would no longer be an employee, he
would be a partner."

Andy was silent. He was the newcomer here, didn't know as
much as he wanted to about farming, wasn't sure how much his
input would be welcomed. He looked at Charlie, who was
looking back at him with those searching eyes. They both looked
at Dennis and discovered that he was looking at them: first one,
then the other, evidently waiting for a reaction. When Charlie
didn't say anything, Andy Felt compelled to speak.

"It all sounds good, Dad." Andy said, "But what happens if a
crop fails? I mean, with weather and all?"
"That's life on the farm, Andy." Dennis answered. "We do the
best we can, buy crop insurance which covers some of the losses,
but the cruel fact is, it's kinda up to us to make it happen. One
other thing that we'd be doing, totally independent of Carlo and
providing somewhat of a buffer, is to expand the beef herd
instead of getting rid of it. The more we diversify, the less chance
there is of being totally wiped out by a single event."

"Is that how it works now?"
"Sure is. Only difference is the stakes would be higher."
"And of course," Carlo added, "I would share equally in the
losses the same as I do in the gains."
"Sounds too good to be true," Andy observed.
"It is!" Dennis agreed. "That's why I think we should agree, but
only if my partners, my sons, agree."

"Does that mean if we agree to go ahead," Charlie said, "that I
won't be getting any more pressure to go away to school? That I
can stay here and just work on the farm?"
"If we agree to this plan," Dennis said, "you will be needed here.
There will be no money for such things, and certainly no one else
I know to replace you, so you can forget any thoughts about
private schools, either here or anyplace else."
"Then I vote we do it!" Charlie said without hesitation.
"I agree," Andy added. He wasn't as confident as Charlie
because he still wasn't convinced that Carlo didn't have some
hidden motive, but he was a bit out of his element, so he had to
trust his mentor, his hero, his little brother. And the fact that it
would end once and for all any talk of sending him and his
brother away to school had a very definite attraction.

And then there was Billy. He certainly seemed committed;
enough so that he was planning to invest every penny he had and
lots he didn't have to buy into the plan and the community. That
was becoming more and more important to both Andy and
Charlie. They had agreed to keep their little rendezvous in the
barn a secret, and in fact had reenacted the whole thing several
times.

There were lots of questions, lots of promises. But in the end
neither Andy nor Charlie could think of a good reason to say no,
so they didn't. In the end they accepted the proposal
enthusiastically. The prospect of two brand new diesel tractors
was far from insignificant in their minds, because even Charlie, as
much as he loved his old tractors, had to admit the new machines
had a lot to offer, especially with the increased acreage they
would be working. So finally they told Dennis that he had their
full support and to go ahead and do what he had to do to make it
all happen.

About the time Andy remembered that Guido was here and
wondered why, Guido himself spoke up. "With that out of the
way," he said, "I have a proposal of my own. Charlie, I would
like you to come back to Italy with me early in the new year to
meet the members of my choir and work with us for a month.
Your expenses will be paid, and your family can come for your
final week, when we will be on tour in Italy."
"But I already told you," Charlie protested, "I got far too much to
do here."
"I understand that, and I'm not asking for a long term
commitment. I just want you to meet the boys in my group, to
learn from them and maybe even more important, to teach them
more of your Southern Gospel singing. I have played videos of
some of your work, you and your band, and they love it! They are
anxious to learn how to sing that way."

"Italy?" Charlie said, astonished. "All of us?"
"You would come alone initially, spend three weeks living with
the choir and rehearsing with them, then on your final week your
family would join you."
"But the farm..."
"There's not that much to do in January," Dennis reminded him.
"And I think it would be a great experience for you. But I have to
ask, Guido, why? I mean why would you go to that expense?"
"I can't," Guido answered. "You can thank our friend Carlo. He
is still convinced that Charlie's voice is worth just about any
price and he is willing to pay to assure that he gets every
opportunity available. Carlo is financing the whole thing."

"I don't want you to give up your singing," Carlo added. "I
understand why you don't want to leave your home, but this way
perhaps you can learn a little more how to use your incredible
voice to advantage, and also contribute some of what you know
to Guido's efforts. You are both a valuable resource, and I don't
want to waste either of you."
"But I already decided..." Charlie objected.
"They're not asking for any more than a month of your time,"
Dennis interrupted. "Think of it this way: You'll be getting a free
trip to Italy, and getting a chance to sing with a group that is
unique in the world! And in the bargain you might just learn
something!"
"Andy?" Charlie questioned, almost pleaded.
"Charlie," Andy said, "I can't make this decision for you, but if I
had the chance..."
"But I'll be gone a whole month!"
"Three weeks." Andy corrected, "and then we'll join you. And
you'll have a total blast! I think you should go, Charlie."

"It's none of my business," Billy said, "but if I may..."
"Don't be ridiculous!" Karen scolded, "of course it's your
business! You're trying to run a farm here, and trying to help me
give these two delinquent boys an education, not to mention the
fact that the three of you have become so close you could all be
brothers. Of course it's your business!"

"Well," Billy went on, "for what it's worth, Charlie, I think you
should go too. I never got a chance to study music, and it's one
of my big regrets."
"But it's not too late," Charlie answered. "Bet Mom and I could
teach ya."
"Perhaps, but we're a little busy right now. But this is a great
opportunity for you, Charlie! Just think of it! Singing with one of
the biggest boy choirs in Europe!

                *       *       *

"Andy?" Charlie said in his little boy voice that he hadn't used
for so long Andy forgot he had it. They had finally gone to bed,
after having agreed to both proposals and hammering out the
details.
"Yeah, Charlie?"
"You think I'm ugly?"
"Ugly? God, Charlie, I cannot even think about putting your
name and that word in the same sentence! Why on earth would
you say such a thing?"
"I dunno, Andy, I just wonder sometimes. I got these long arms
and legs, no hair on my body and probably never will have, and I
got no..."
"Don't even say it, Charlie! I don't care if you got no balls or five
hundred of them! You're still the most beautiful creature on the
face of the earth! Haven't you ever noticed that we never ever get
in bed without me running my hands all over your body? I mean
ALL OVER? You think I'd do that if I thought you were ugly?"
"Yeah, I've noticed. Why do you do it, Andy?"
"Because I can't help myself, Charlie! You do the same to me, ya
know."
"But that's different. You're..."
"I'm what? I'm Andy and you love me! You're Charlie and I love
YOU! Isn't that enough? Do you want me to stop with my
hands?"

Charlie suddenly wished he'd never started this conversation.
The thoughts of going to bed, going to sleep, without his entire
body being caressed threw bolts of fear running through him.
"NO, Andy!" he cried. "I love your touch! I love it when it gets
me turned on and we... well, you know. But even when we don't,
when I just go to sleep, that's the last thing I feel at night, and
when I wake up in the morning I can still feel it! Oh man, no,
please don't ever stop! Unless that is you are just doing it cause
you know it makes me feel good."
"I'm glad it makes you feel good, Charlie. I mean, I'm REALLY
glad! But that's not why I do it. I do it for much more selfish
reasons. I do it 'cause I think you are so beautiful I can't keep my
hands off you! I do it because when I look at beauty like you, I
have to touch it!"

Andy didn't tell Charlie that lots of times he found himself
running his hands over Charlie's body without even thinking
about it. He didn't tell him that it was as much a part of him as
breathing! He didn't tell him these things because until now he
hadn't even realized it himself. But now he realized that all the
time they'd been talking, his hands had been roaming, touching,
savoring, worshiping, all over his younger brother's body. The
long slender neck; the still somewhat immature but solid
shoulders; the hairless, smooth chest with its tiny flat nipples and
its slightly pronounced ribs; the flat stomach; the cute little navel,
which hadn't changed since the first time Andy had seen and
touched it. The still totally hairless genitals. The penis had grown
some, but not a lot; the testicles were gone of course, but the
empty scrotum still remained, was still as silky smooth and soft
as ever. And those legs! Long and slender, slightly defined
muscles, so sensitive to the touch; the bubble butt which didn't
protrude a lot, but was definitely there; the back: long and thin,
which quivered when he touched it; the arms, long, slender as a
twelve year old's, yet strong as a lot of men! And the hands! So
incredibly long, with fingers like tentacles with long nails and a
grip of steel. And those fingers were like beings themselves when
they were near a keyboard.

Andy grasped those fingers now and slowly, gently moved them
to his own genital area and deposited them there. Once there they
knew what to do, understood what was desired, were as skilled
as they were at the piano. There they played not a musical
instrument, but Andy himself; and oh, the music they created!
They moved slowly but determinedly to the waistband of Andy's
boxers and moved inside as Andy's hands did the same to
Charlie. As each boy's hand found its target on the other's body,
their lips met in a long, gentle, lingering kiss; and each was
content, confident that he was loved, cherished, needed. And they
made love.

                *       *       *

It was mid January, the night before Charlie was to leave for
Italy. Billy had gone home to Texas for the holiday and was not
due back for another week. The Conner family had had a great
holiday, the boys had their work all caught up and Charlie had
been given a month's worth of assignments by his mother. He
had been increasingly excited by the whole adventure until now,
crawling into bed with Andy. "I don't wanna go without you,
Andy!" he sniffled.
"Don't be silly, lil Bro," Andy said. "You're gonna have a great
time!"
"Not without you. I don't ever want to leave you! And for a
whole month!"
"Not a month. Three weeks. Then Mom and Dad and I will be
there too. And you're gonna learn so much!"

"You want me to go, Andy?"
"Uhhh not exactly. But I think it'll be good for you."
"Good for me? How?"
"Well, you're gonna learn a lot about singing, but you're also
gonna meet all those boys that have had the same operation you
had. And maybe you'll be able to live with it a little better."
"I thought I was livin' with it pretty well anyway."
"You are, Charlie. But we can always learn from others. In fact,
maybe you were meant to go so you could teach them something.
Maybe they need to know that it's still possible to have a life, a
family. Maybe there's a boy there who needs a shot of your self
confidence. Yeah, I want you to go 'cause I think it's a
wonderful chance for you. I'll miss ya like crazy, but you'll have
a blast with all those other guys. And it's only for three weeks.
They'll go so fast we'll be there before you know it."
"You better!" Charlie warned.

"Besides," Andy grinned, "while you're over there foolin' around
with all those choir boys, I'm gonna be here with Billy all to
myself."
"I'm not messin' with any Italian choir boys!" Charlie said
vehemently. "What d'ya think I am, some kinda pervert?"
"As a matter of fact, lil brother, sometimes I do think you're
kinda perverted."
"Don't matter, I'm not foolin' around over there. I won't get to
know anyone well enough anyway."
"Never say never, lilbro!"

Monday morning the familiar white limo arrived at the Conner
home before daylight and whisked Charlie to the Raleigh airport
where he boarded a plane for New York. Carlo had sent one of
his trusted employees to get Charlie booked in and on the right
plane. He had never flown before, and the skies seemed to sense
that and gave him a spectacular view of the ground below. He
was absolutely glued to the window as the ground beneath, the
cities, towns, highways slipped beneath the plane. In New York
he got another surprise when he switched to a big Alitalia 747
nonstop to Rome. Carlo had booked him in the first class section.
That, added to the fact that he was still a child and a first time
flier, gave him an experience that he would never forget. The
attendants doted over him; made sure he was comfortably
situated before takeoff; jumped to his every request for the entire
trip.

When Andy finally got up for the second time it was almost 7 am.
He'd got up at 5 to see Charlie off, then had gone back to bed.
They had hired help doing the milking, so all he had to do most
mornings was to make sure the chores had been done, then do his
schoolwork and then work at the task of preparing their newly
acquired land, getting it ready for planting. The first of their new
tractors had been delivered last Friday, and today Andy was
going to put it through its paces by plowing a large field that
hadn't been cultivated for three years.

As he climbed aboard the new machine he was thrilled with all
the conveniences it had to offer: Heated air conditioned cab,
am/fm/cd stereo system, CB radio so he could keep in touch with
home base, the other tractor when it arrived. It had an incredible
hydraulic system, more power than Andy had ever dreamed of,
and inside the cab with the doors and windows closed, it was as
quiet as his new truck! Andy felt a little guilty being the first to
work their new tractor, knowing how much Charlie would have
loved being the first to test it. On the other hand, he knew that
Charlie was having a high old time flying to Europe, meeting
other musicians, all the things that fantasies are made of.

Andy knew that if Charlie hadn't gone they still wouldn't have
been together all day. If he were here they would have been on
opposite ends of the farm all day, but still there was a
consciousness there; a definite feeling of loneliness knowing that
when dinner time came, his little brother wouldn't be across the
table from him. Was he all right? Would he be so thrilled with life
in Italy that he'd change his mind and join the choir for good?
Did Guido, or Carlo, or both really have something in mind other
than what they'd admitted to?

As he sank the big plow into the ground for the first time and
opened the throttle, he was absolutely thrilled at how easily the
big diesel responded to his command and began turning the sod
on the big field. But his enjoyment was clouded by thoughts of
Charlie, so far away by now. What if someone hijacked the
plane? What if something mechanical went wrong? Did they have
competent pilots? What if they lost their way? Would Charlie
suffer before he died? Was it wise sending him halfway around
the world, after all the trouble the Conner family had had in the
last year or so? Andy kept shaking his head, trying to clear it of
all these worrisome thoughts; but they kept coming back.

He thought of Charlie living in the dormitory with all the other
castrati. What would that be like? Would it be similar to the
dorms he'd lived in when he was in orphanages? Most of the
inhabitants were, after all, orphans. Andy knew what went on in
most of those dorms because he'd been there. On the other hand,
he knew that Charlie being the way he was, would profit from the
experience and value his home even more. But did he need the
experience? In Andy's opinion he had already proven that he
valued his home more than most boys his age.

"Well," Dennis said at dinner time, "how's our new toy?"
"Totally awesome, Dad!" Andy answered. "You would not
believe how easily I plowed ten acres today. I just sat there and
steered and listened to the stereo."
"So I take it the new John is a little improvement over the old
one?"
"Oh yeah, man! You gotta try it, Dad. It is a total blast!"
"But?" Dennis said, sensing that all was not well.
"But... Uhhh... I wish it had been Charlie to try it out today, not
me. I miss him, Dad, and I'm worried about him."
"We all miss him," Karen said. "But he's gonna be fine. But
because we miss him we're all gonna take the rest of the week
off and go to Disney World in Florida."
"Florida?" Andy questioned. "But... Charlie would love that!
He's never been to Disney, and I know he'd love it!"

"Think of yourself for once, Andy," Dennis suggested. "Charlie
is flying all over Europe as we speak, and we are not going to sit
home and just miss him while he's gone. You know he wouldn't
want that, so let's just go on with life. We love him and he knows
it, and he wouldn't want us sitting home wishing he was here."
"You talk as if he was dead," Andy observed. Then he felt a bolt
of fear paralyze his body when he realized what he'd said.
"Not dead," Dennis said, "but certainly spreading his wings. I
hate that almost as much as losing him, but on the other hand it's
going to happen sooner or later, so we might as well get used to
it. The toughest part of being a parent, and the most necessary, is
letting go of the thing you love more than any other."

Andy eventually agreed that Charlie's spending time away from
home was more than likely something that would happen more
and more, and he told Dennis that he loved Charlie enough to let
him go if that was best for him. He also said for the millionth
time, "I love you and Mom so much, Dad!"
"It's a two way street, Andy," Dennis answered. "We love you
too! You've been nothing but pure joy in our lives since the first
time you came. Now let's go to Florida and enjoy ourselves."

                *       *       *


It was a full twenty-four hours after Charlie had left home that the
big jet landed gracefully in Rome. Guido was waiting at the gate,
a broad smile on his face. "How was your trip, my friend?" he
asked warmly as they shook hands.
"Awesome!" Charlie answered. "I had no idea that it would be so
smooth and quiet! And those flight attendants spoiled me to
death!"
"That was Carlo's touch," Guido said with a chuckle. "First class
is significantly different from tourist class. But I'm glad you
enjoyed it."

"We're not going directly to the school." Guido said when they
were in the car. "I've got us a hotel suite here in Rome so we can
spend a day just relaxing and seeing some of the sights."
"That sounds really cool," Charlie answered. "I'd love to see the
Colosseum."
"Once you get to the school you'll be treated like all the other
students," Guido went on. "You will not be treated special in any
way. That way you'll get a real sense of how they live, and you'll
get to know them. I'm really anxious for you to become one of
them while you're here."
"That's ok by me," Charlie agreed. "But if you're hoping I'll
change my mind..."
"No, my friend," Guido assured him. "I have no ulterior motive. I
just want this experience to be good for all of us, and I think the
best way to do that is to have you integrate with the other
students."

Charlie was a little ill at ease in spite of Guido's assurances. He
was also concerned that they would be sharing a room tonight;
but when they arrived at their hotel he realized that he would
have his own room, and there was no attempt by Guido to invade
his privacy. By the time they headed for the school it was late
Wednesday afternoon. They had visited the Colosseum, the
Vatican, had walked the streets of Rome and visited a few of the
shops Guido thought that Charlie might find interesting.

"Our school is not well known in Italy," Guido explained as they
drove the 100 kilometers to Anzio, the site of the school. "There
is some danger that people might revive the custom of castrating
young boys for personal gain, and we don't want that. Our goal is
to give boys a home, a goal in life, who might otherwise not have
one. Our business is giving a home, a sense of direction, to boys
who have already been castrated, not to castrate them. So as far
as the general public is concerned, we are just a boarding school
for homeless boys. Our instructions are primarily in Italian, with a
few English classes because some of the boys are not yet fluent
in Italian.

"We have about 350 students in all," he continued. "But there are
only forty or so castrati and they make up our choir. The
remaining students are day students, mostly from very wealthy
families in the area. The families know why we're here and they
understand that their tuition helps pay the bills. They are
permitted to participate in the music program and even have a
school choir, but it's separate from the castrati choir. Sometimes
they sing together, but for the most part they each have their
separate performance schedules."

As the car approached its destination and the school which would
be Charlie's home for the next month came in sight, his
apprehension grew. He felt his heart begin to beat faster and his
breath speed up. This was it! He was about to take a step back in
history.

Charlie didn't know exactly what he was expecting, but it wasn't
what he found. The school was a single large building with rather
tight security, a large courtyard in the center with a beautiful
garden, trees, and even a small fish pond. It was absolutely
spotless everywhere despite its obviously advanced age. Guido
took Charlie up and down several hallways where he saw various
classrooms, a well equipped gymnasium, a modern well equipped
cafeteria. All were completely empty except for the odd faculty
member. "The day students have left for the day," he explained.
"And the residents will be just leaving the auditorium, heading
back to the dormitory where they will dress for dinner. We shall
go there now and you can meet them before we eat. We have two
dormitories. You will be in with the younger boys."

The school had obviously been prepared for Charlie's arrival.
When they walked into the dorm, which was one large room with
twenty or so beds in it, the boys were all sitting on their beds in
groups of two or three, chatting in Italian with the odd English
phrase thrown in, evidently waiting for him to arrive. When
Guido appeared they all scurried back to their own beds and
stood at the foot facing him. They were not at attention as they
would have been in a military barracks, but their respect for their
leader was still plain for all to see. "Gentlemen," Guido said in a
loud voice, "allow me to introduce the young American I told you
about. His name is Charlie and he will be spending the next three
weeks with us, then singing with us on the tour. Please make him
welcome."

Charlie followed Guido down one side of the dorm and back the
other, shaking hands with each as he was introduced. They
ranged in age from about 7 to 18. There were three Americans,
five Italians, four Africans, two Germans and two Spaniards, one
Canadian and two Polynesians. They all seemed genuinely
pleased to meet Charlie, and all gave the impression he was
happy to be here. By the end of the introductions Charlie was
feeling a lot better, thinking it would be good to get to know all
these boys. But one in particular caught his eye. Paul was a
beautiful Polynesian boy, about eleven years old. When their eyes
met and their hands touched, Charlie felt the same electricity that
he'd felt the first time he met Andy.

                 *       *      *

I sincerely hope you enjoy my writing efforts. If you do, or for
that matter if you don't, I would appreciate if you would write to
me. My email address is charlieje@mindspring.com.